So some Rat Covenant bitch in the Doors of Pharros decided it was a good idea to camp my spawn as I was summoned as a grey spirit. Little did they know, I was rocking dual-caestus as part of my fist-only playthrough of Dark Souls 2.
After they fucked up the first backstab, I turned right around, and **PUNCHED THEM IN THE FUCKING FACE.** RIP Rat Covenant Bitch.
Moral of the story, don't fuck with the Elite Punch Knight. He'll punch you good. And then he'll shag yer waif.