yes i know poetry i did doesn't make real sense but it's funny

This is basically just a place I can put my poetry and maybe sometimes people might read it which would be cool. I just wanna feel like there's some audience. So cool.

are you drinking again or again

"are you drinking
again?" she asks
again.
you make excuses
again "it's just to keep me well"
she laughs but
she's crying
again

are you drinking
again you wonder
when does it become a problem
is it when you sit
in the bathroom
and you cry because she's gone
again or is it
when you call her
midnight
she tells you to go to sleep
you hear her cry
again

are you drinking
again she smiles
you're in bed and it's sunday
she brings you tea
again the second time this morning
she's happy but it's a dream
again you can't see her
her brother told you to get help
again "why can't they mind
their own business" you laugh
again you know why
because you're drunk
again

are you drinking
again you ask yourself how
did you let it get this bad
again it had been months
she agreed to see you
she left the restaurant
again so you drank
again you cried
again you called her
again "you're sick"
again you are
again you can't see straight
again she's gone
again there's nothing left
again

untitled

and the light left the air
and it turned heavy
and someone proposed a game
and we'd all see how long we could go
before we felt nothing
and i started to wonder
how much would it take
to make me permanently numb
and kisses
and laughter
and nothing
slipping away
and nothing

forget

i swallowed the pill
like bleach on my tongue
like the hole in my heart
and they said i could forget
that it would help me forget
incorrect

untitled

i should have kissed you longer
it wasn't enough to have you on the tip of my tongue
i needed your mouth,
enveloped between my lips
i should have touched you, not distantly,
and seen you shiver
as my fingernails ran down your nape and spine
i knew there would never be enough time
so i kissed you once
if barely for a second
and i wiped my eyes
i bid goodbye
and i hoped there would be time i could kiss you for long enough
that you could taste a tinge of blood in my mouth
if not from the biting from the broken heart
and if it's cliché to say ill write a movie
but im broken
and i miss you
and ill never be able to kiss you long enough
so that you see my body repair
ill only kiss you long enough
for you to always crave more

loneliness

it was dusk when i told you
i was sad
that i was a cracked china plate
and i was sick of running away
that my thoughts were looming black clouds
and my head was filled with unsent emails
and texts that i wanted to send at 3am
when i was alone and needed an end
- you told me
your anxieties were like water
overflowing the sink
i told you i was on the brink of collapse
that maybe i would have done it that night
(and we both knew what night i meant)
and that maybe it would have been over
and you would have some other broken girl
picking up her pieces
i was porcelain dust

spring in autumn

being with him was like spring in autumn
starting my new life
as his hand trailed down from my waist to my hip
and his mouth reached down and caressed my lip
we counted down as we swallowed the pill
together still
our happiness eternal
spring in autumn
summer in winter
out of sync
but in sync with each other

love yourself

this morning i saw you
in a dream
and you looked in a mirror
and said i hate you
i looked at you
and saw you were beautiful
i looked at you
and saw you were amazing
i looked at you
and you were enough
and you’re always enough

gallery

an art gallery filled with pictures of you
only its my head
and you’re all that fills it
and im alone

i don't even like art anymore

i don’t even like art anymore
ever since you’ve been gone ive been
sitting
and thinking
(and ive had an awful long time to think)
and i think the stories you told
and the kisses you gave
were lies
and I don’t like art anymore
because you were all the art i needed
so ever since you
ive been sitting and thinking
and wishing
you could paint one more picture
with your mouth as the brush
and my lips as a canvas
im sorry

we

we used to stay in and
count the stars in each others eyes
and you’d taste my tongue
and tell me i was like poison
because i was slowly killing you
and you never told me you
weren’t joking
you were always joking

and we’d go out
and we’d see the world and
dance because we felt it
the music was in you
like it was in me
and then you’d be in me
spending nights
sensuality
and you’d tell me how
beautiful i looked
but you were always the most

you’d never humour me with
anything
but this
this
you humoured me for so long
and there’s no one else
but you
no one else

his impression of the morning

and the sunset hits
and he does his impression of the morning
and his laugh
his laugh
his laugh
and im haunted
still
by the ghost of his life
and his soul is gone
and its just him
and he does his impression of the morning
and I wonder how long its been since I was sober