As Rob approached her, Jane stiffened in her chair, unsure of what was to come. Of course, he would never do anything that would warrant such a reaction, but the events that led up to this moment kept her on edge, almost close to pure panic. But as he removed the hair from her eyes, she could see the softness in his. Was he –
Then, he kissed her. Seconds felt like minutes in the best way possible, increasing Jane's craving to be held by him tenfold, but reality struck her again once he sat onto the edge of the bed to face her. She tried, but she couldn’t force herself to look at him, while inside, she was screaming: one, because it felt so wonderful to have Rob touch her again with no obligation to do so, and two, because of the confusion this caused. Was he redacting what he said previously? Was this a goodbye?
His hand reached for hers and engulfed it, and chills shot down her spine. ”I don’t have the right to ask for you back.”
Jane winced at the words as he said them. Her pride begged her to agree with him and keep the distance between them he created, but Jane knew that her heart would win this round. There would be no way that she could stay away from him – this long had already felt like torture – and she would succumb.
”But honestly, Jane, fuck it. I just want you.”
This statement gave her enough courage to look back up to him, and their eyes met simultaneously. This made her heart begin to race, causing the rest of his words to blur as they spoken. The urge to respond was strong, but nothing could come out of her mouth – the fight between her ego and her love for Rob had temporarily incapacitated her. Jane would have to stick to what she knew best.
With a tear or two streaming down her face, she stood up from the chair and approached him slowly before sitting on his lap and facing him, the edge of the bed creaking at she let her body weight lower on to him. It wasn’t long before her hands were gripping the sides of his face and pulling him into kiss her, tasting her own tears between their lips as she did. And in this moment, her old ways began to bubble up, and her hands reached down to lift his shirt up over his head. Over the past few months, she had grown tired of talking.
“I don’t wanna be out here anymore,” Jane admitted quietly as she puffed on a joint in bed before holding it out for Rob to take. “All I want is to be back in Long Beach.” Her own hand rubbed her arm as she was lost in thought, hating the words that were coming out of her own mouth. “I thought this was what I wanted. I desperately craved the recognition and the lifestyle, but I can’t do it anymore, Rob.”
She held out her hand to retrieve the joint, and once it was back in her possession, she took a large hit and coughed slightly before turning her head to look directly at Rob. “Harold would kill me if I said I wanted to drop the rest of the tour though, yeah?” Jane smiled faintly as she gripped the sheet covering her nude body, but it was forced.
“It’s not like I wanna stop making music or anything,” she continued, sounding more like she was thinking out loud rather than trying to form a coherent sentence. “But, this tour broke me. I don’t like who I’ve become.”
After passing back the joint to Rob, she scooted closer to him and laid her head on his chest. “Sorry. I’m rambling,” she whispered before pressing a kiss into his shoulder. “How are you feeling?”
She knew that discussing what had happened to them leading up to this moment would probably give her a lot more closure over the situation, but Jane couldn't see the point in bringing it up now. They had both been hurt over the course of the tour, and trying to hash things out would probably only make it worse, or at least, that's the way Jane imagined it. If Rob would let it slide, she would be happy to not discuss the past anymore.
Then, he kissed her. Seconds felt like minutes in the best way possible, increasing Jane's craving to be held by him tenfold, but reality struck her again once he sat onto the edge of the bed to face her. She tried, but she couldn’t force herself to look at him, while inside, she was screaming: one, because it felt so wonderful to have Rob touch her again with no obligation to do so, and two, because of the confusion this caused. Was he redacting what he said previously? Was this a goodbye?
His hand reached for hers and engulfed it, and chills shot down her spine. ”I don’t have the right to ask for you back.”
Jane winced at the words as he said them. Her pride begged her to agree with him and keep the distance between them he created, but Jane knew that her heart would win this round. There would be no way that she could stay away from him – this long had already felt like torture – and she would succumb.
”But honestly, Jane, fuck it. I just want you.”
This statement gave her enough courage to look back up to him, and their eyes met simultaneously. This made her heart begin to race, causing the rest of his words to blur as they spoken. The urge to respond was strong, but nothing could come out of her mouth – the fight between her ego and her love for Rob had temporarily incapacitated her. Jane would have to stick to what she knew best.
With a tear or two streaming down her face, she stood up from the chair and approached him slowly before sitting on his lap and facing him, the edge of the bed creaking at she let her body weight lower on to him. It wasn’t long before her hands were gripping the sides of his face and pulling him into kiss her, tasting her own tears between their lips as she did. And in this moment, her old ways began to bubble up, and her hands reached down to lift his shirt up over his head. Over the past few months, she had grown tired of talking.
*****
“I don’t wanna be out here anymore,” Jane admitted quietly as she puffed on a joint in bed before holding it out for Rob to take. “All I want is to be back in Long Beach.” Her own hand rubbed her arm as she was lost in thought, hating the words that were coming out of her own mouth. “I thought this was what I wanted. I desperately craved the recognition and the lifestyle, but I can’t do it anymore, Rob.”
She held out her hand to retrieve the joint, and once it was back in her possession, she took a large hit and coughed slightly before turning her head to look directly at Rob. “Harold would kill me if I said I wanted to drop the rest of the tour though, yeah?” Jane smiled faintly as she gripped the sheet covering her nude body, but it was forced.
“It’s not like I wanna stop making music or anything,” she continued, sounding more like she was thinking out loud rather than trying to form a coherent sentence. “But, this tour broke me. I don’t like who I’ve become.”
After passing back the joint to Rob, she scooted closer to him and laid her head on his chest. “Sorry. I’m rambling,” she whispered before pressing a kiss into his shoulder. “How are you feeling?”
She knew that discussing what had happened to them leading up to this moment would probably give her a lot more closure over the situation, but Jane couldn't see the point in bringing it up now. They had both been hurt over the course of the tour, and trying to hash things out would probably only make it worse, or at least, that's the way Jane imagined it. If Rob would let it slide, she would be happy to not discuss the past anymore.