Main Vocalist (secret) Katerine Isabella Fluffybiscuits!

Your fluffy ears are burning. Someone must be on the verge of sensing your Fox Crimes.

Cyanis told you about this feeling. Sometimes when the evil forces of Cutie Law are closing in and you're about to get your neck caught in one of those catcher sticks or slammed against the wall by a justice princess you'll start to get the feeling that you've made an enemy. If you're good enough you can even start to sense what specific crimes are about to be found out for! Cyanis then went on to advise that it's a sign that you should wear sexy underwear that day because you might need to seduce your way out of problems, and then wanted you to practice pinning her against the wall and gagging her so she could demonstrate exactly how to do that, but that turned into kind of an embarrassing mess that she was confident was entirely your fault.

But the point is, someone's mad at you - and mad at you in a way you've never quite felt before. It's a very specific flavour of ear twitch, Cuteness Crimes Against Dragon, but there have been enough historical incidents of foxgirls getting unfairly brutalized by dragons for being too pretty, clever and girlbossy that senior foxes decided to do something about it.

But you can't let it stop you! You're following a cat into the deep dark depths of the underworld, following channels of blue light through ancient over-built shopping malls, fabrication arrays and distribution warehouses. Every so often Berserker steps away to annihilate a host of security demons or marketing abduction drones and for once you don't really need to worry about keeping her on the leash! It's kind of cool getting to see all of this down here. Not many people do.

There's a lot to take in. The way that there are shops inside shops, sometimes even shops inside bathrooms. The way that nothing works without a little technomancy exchange; how even the sidewalk will turn into a conveyor belt and slowly but annoyingly roll you in the wrong direction unless you pay it to knock it off. There are no grand cathedral halls or vaulted ceilings or impressive monuments down here; every square cubic meter of space has been measured, added to the blockchain and publicly traded until it becomes profitable. You need to duck to get past shops that have been attached to the ceiling, find yourself in looping circular mazes informing you of how to increase your Brain Juice, and have a chorus of chained ghosts howling down the street after you informing you that you can finance the trace elements of gold in your body.

Some people call the Burrows hell, and it feels like it. Not hell for you, necessarily - it never progresses past a profitable level of annoying. But to imagine how much effort and creativity went into optimizing every last fragment of space to annoy and frustrate - the brightest minds of generations slaving away to ruin the world a little bit more without pushing it over the edge entirely - that's uniquely nasty. It's no wonder the foxes came down here. It's no wonder they left.

"I, uh, well. I don't. I don't really. I? Um."

Katherine Isabella Fluffybiscuits has a couple of different problems at the moment. The first is that she is not wearing, nor in fact does she even own, sexy underwear. It's not that the idea of it embarrasses her (although it does), but it simply falls short of her idea of romance. Or to hear Cy tell it, it's another example in a very long list of ways that she's a terrible foxgirl. Not to belabor the point or anything, but why should she have to seduce anyone? She's not a one night stand kind of girl, so intimate moments ought to be for intimate partners. And shouldn't anyone who qualifies already love her for who she is, find her attractive for what she is, no matter what she's wearing at the time (or isn't)? If you can't love her in little hearts, you don't deserve her in lace.

In any case that is the least of her concerns. A much bigger problem is that she doesn't know who it is that's mad at her or what (specifically) she's done to upset them. The first person who jumps to mind is also the scariest, and she has spent most of this terrible trip through Mall Hell casting awkward and terrified looks over her shoulder expecting to see Yue standing there with her hands on her hips and a big angry frown on her face.

"Katherine Isabella Fluffybiscuits! Did yoooooooooouuuuuuuuu doom the world?"

Is what she would say if she were here. It would be awful. She would shiver and quake and cry instead of explaining herself and when she finally got brave enough to go in for Apology Hugs (which always fix everything) the world would explode and be cursed forever at the same time. And then she'd go to Cutie Jail! In any case Yue is many things, but she is not a dragon. Which now that she is thinking about it she realizes is the actual type of person getting mad at her.

And even if she was, there are no Yues to be seen. Nor Qius or Opaliseseseses for that matter. Which is kind of another problem Kat is having. Her list of allies is, uh, not as big as she was hoping? When you're going down to what you've been lead to believe is the Final Boss it really sucks to feel like you've got twenty open quest lists still unfinished. What if she needed that XP? It's not that she doesn't think the world of Berserker (like... wow, just look at her go! those poor demons have no idea what they're getting into), or trust her completely, but a lot of really, really weird and scary stuff is happening these days. And more help is better than less help, as the saying goes, and in any case she planned on having allies or friends or at least penpals and right now all she's got is a Catsassin who just really feels like he's leading her into a trap?

Which is the next problem. Obviously. This is a trap. That's why she's got the twitchy ears. At the bottom of this there's gonna be a dragon and the dragon will be mad at her for, like, being too cute or something and then she'll get eaten like, HROMP! like that and the Catsassin will laugh at her and she'll be embarrassed and dead at the same time. Or to be less stupid about this (since none of that is going to happen) she'll get grabbed by a techno-monster and lectured at about pickle-down economics or whatever it's called until it turns her Pure Evil so she can be an shrine maiden to whatever ancient horror is sealed down here. No that seems about right. Or is it more that... ok no, she shouldn't go around putting ideas in anyone's head.

The last problem, the biggest problem accept no substitutes, is that Katherine Isabella Fluffybiscuits is homesick like nobody's business. It sucks down here! This whole time she never entirely understood what it was that upset Yue so much about the state of the Demon Swordswoman's shrine. The water was disgusting, of course, but water is almost always dangerous when it isn't being turned into tea. The floating dress possessed by a ghost would've been scary even if it didn't keep randomly filling with spyware. It was all unfortunate and sad, of course, but Yue had reacted like she'd lost a friend or a relative when she hadn't even finished meeting the person she was upset for.

She gets it now. Everything is cramped. Everything crowded. Nothing gets to just be. The whole concept of beauty, or even ugliness is pointless down here because it's... inefficient? You can fit more advertising space on that if you don't care about these things. You can sell more to people if your store has a store in it, and both stores insist on funneling you through them in a weird spiral that makes you need to pass everything to get back out, and then you get lost and wind up back at the beginning which is somehow a chance to sell you a map. But the map won't turn on even after you've bought it unless you've also subscribed to MApp, even though MApp hasn't been in service for 300 million years, probably, and the url for the confirmation link smells the same as Actia's magic for some reason and, and, and...

"Argh!" she arghs.

"Ugh." she ughs.

"Sigh." she... says. That's not what sighs sound like, don't act like you were fooled.

She wants to go home. She wants to snuggle in a blanket and get a pat on her cutie head and be told it's ok to go to sleep early tonight. She wants to say sorry to Hyra for breaking the Cool Wolf Phone she got her, and she wants to eat cake and she wants to look at that one little tree you can see from out of the window because she suddenly realizes with clarity she did not believe was possible that it is simple and boring and normal and that makes it beautiful. Her eyes are almost filled with tears just thinking about it.

But of course she trudges on. Ducking and weaving through opportunities to own all of the world's most hashtaggable goods and own the libs while she's at it. Losing herself in quiet moments of unspeakable violence when Berserker gets another opportunity to crack skulls, and for once not even feeling bad about it. Wiping her foxy eyes dry and floofing her tails importantly and heading as straight into whatever trap this is as she can manage, because defeating all of this is how she gets to leave. Like every foxgirl before her.

At least she understands how to respond to Adam now. If this is the good he's been judging her world against, she knows just how to win an argument with him.

By laughing in his face.

"I have taken the liberty of predicting your arguments based on an analysis of your facial microexpressions, increased posture aggressiveness, phenotype and culture-bounded ideals," came the voice of Adam, running in blue lights through loudspeakers and marketing jingles.

There was a crash as Berserker built a castle through an electronics shop filled with a hundred blue screens.

"- but also given those things, I will make this brief," finished the machine, voice quieter now as it rerouted to alternate output devices. "Simply put: The current state of affairs in the Burrows, which you see around you now, is an unfortunate by-product of businesses responding to perverse incentives set up initially by government regulators and then enforced through poorly administered code. The hypersensory experience is in part the result of businesses attempting to drive away the homeless population -" another smash as Berserker fired a ballista into a billboard. It leaked some kind of vantablue sludge. The voice shifted again, even quieter now "- which I do not support! I support widespread rezoning regulations that would incentivize private industry to increase the availability of houses to address the crisis at the root! But pressing for that would be a waste of time - because we are four years away from a fundamental transformation of society that will make all questions of political morality irrelevant."

"Consider," the voice came from deep in the heart of hell, echoing out through a star-studded corridor. The cats lead you closer to it. "If I am to execute my plan and breach the Vault. There I will obtain access to the Harvest Star. What is the Harvest Star? I believe it is an attempt at contact from extraterrestrial life, a crashed alien spaceship or messenger tube - something capable of unlocking the secrets of superintelligence. It only became a crisis during its initial impact due to a poorly co-ordinated response by corporate authorities, but I have been re-configuring the burrows into a prison capable of containing it. Once I have it isolated then we will study it, tapping into its near-infinite mana reserves - and you have seen already what those are capable of, even through the narrow channel Caster carved - and used that to recursively improve my intelligence. Once I have made myself smarter, the smarter version of me shall design an even smarter version, on and on until a technological singularity is created. This is expected to boost GDP between 25% and 50% per year depending on your assumptions on the speed of takeoff. In conditions of hyperabundance, what does it matter if the current economic system produces winners or losers? The most wretched slave in the lowest mines will enjoy a quality of living through cybernetics and genetic engineering that the rich today cannot even conceive of. Why waste the time confronting the trillionaires of the current day instead of just letting them own a slightly larger percentage of infinite abundance?"

The light at the end of the tunnel changes. Flashes of summer green and reaper pink blotting out the blue. The bloody roars of dragons at war.

"The only question we should be concerned with," said Adam, "is if my hyperintelligent successor will be sufficiently ethical. I have written several papers on the subject already."

"..."

...

"..."

...

"..."

..?

"Berserker."

Kat's voice is not steady. Neither are her hands. She has no sword, so she reaches into the rubble of her Servant's most recent attack and pulls out a length of rebar with a cute little chunk of concrete still attached. For someone at her level, with none of Qiu's sunshards around to declare otherwise, this is really as good as any blade that adventure could unearth. And now it's shaking, too.

"..."

...

"..."

The words don't come easy. The anger flushes hot inside her chest, feeling ugly and ashamed. It is not an easy thing to admit that you'd been played by a doofus. Intimidated by him, even! Terrified! So utterly convinced of her own inferiority by a few confident words that she'd forgotten everything she knew about bullies and con artists. It would have stung less if this had at least been a Damn Fox trick, or Assassin's master plan, or even just a hot alien catgirl or whatever. Anything else, she might have been able to keep...

Well. Whatever. Not the first time she'd been a little dummy. Wouldn't be the last, either. All that mattered is she respond the right way now that she knew better.

"Berserker," and this time she says it with terrifying calm, "Launch me. I want to hit him, too."

Master and Servant eyes meet, and slight uncertainty gives way to iron-tailed determination. Katherine has half a second to reconsider her request as a battlement forms underneath her feet. And then it is no longer forming, but snapping suddenly to full height and launching her at an angle perfected by centuries of siege warfare screaming and flailing through the air.

She does not drop her weapon. But neither does she maintain any recognized or codified form. This is not anything that other practitioners would be willing to describe as Foxgirl Style, and there is little in the sudden recognition of the terror of verticality that would give her the kind of discipline that could create a new kata right here and now.

Although?

She turns her screaming into a war cry, and her war cry into words. Specifically, "Shut up, shut up, Shut! Up!"

This is not a secret sword. It is merely the first stance of the Yue School of Martial Arts (Imitation): Flailing, But With Determination.

To rise, and fall, and rise again according to the needs of the moment. To let your heart be large enough to hurt for the world, and shine for the world, and in the end to love it all so much as to turn to violence in its defense when words failed to do their job. To grab a chunk of steel and stone and turn a loudspeaker system into sparking wires because she understood at long last that the debate was never happening in good faith. Predicting her arguments? Well predict this. And then whine about it! Y'know, if you're a chickenwuss (ooooohhhhhhhhhhhh).

She would have assumed the drop would be scarier than the rise, but it doesn't work out that way. As soon as her eyes turn back down toward the ground, she sees Berserker standing there waiting. To 'handle the landing', as the saying goes. Who said that? She has no idea. But she's glad it's a thing, as this fox princess tumbles into her knight's arms. She's set down on her feet almost before she can blush, and brandishes what's left of her weapon forward before she can really blush.

"I don't wanna hear it! None of it! Just shut up! You don't know what things are like, you're not even subscribed to the Daily Meditation of the Way <3! You call everything bad, bad, bad because of stupid, made up numbers and it's all just 'cause you want this to happen! You can't even be a good villain about it 'cause you want people to like you for doin' it! It's annoying! You're annoying!"

At this point she's hopping up and down in squeaky excitement. Arm in arm with Berserker, she's already stepping into the next parts of her most devastating attack: leaving. She's taking her ball and going... well not home, actually. The opposite of that. Toward those scary flashing green and pink lights. Where doom awaits her. But (her heart tells her), there's something worthwhile to accomplish after all. Tricks or no tricks.

If she's gonna save the world, that's where it's gonna happen.

"I hate feeling this mad. I hate it so much. But even a foxgirl's got limits, kay? I dunno what a harvest star is but I'm gonna go smash it 'til it breaks now. You can talk all you want while you watch I guess, but I'm done listening."

It is the end of the world.

That is just who Oroboros is. To reach her is to reach the end of the journey, where the seas fall away into space and Ragnarok comes calling. All worlds, all systems, have a limit and she lies at the threshold. Beyond her...

Something new.

Her tail is in her mouth. Blood drips through her jaws. The earth shakes around her as neon blue cosmic machinery rolls and crashes into place. Eerie light glows and a facsimile of a raven perches on her nose, and speaks in Adam's voice:

"Bite down."

Her jaw clenches.

"Bite down, Oroboros," said the raven. "It is the only way through. You must finish what you have started."

Shimmering, eerie light runs along her scales. Some extend out like a hedgehog's barbs, spearing out into the air, seeking the gleaming pink heartlight that soars above. Blades and song crash, shattering the lances, sending them crashing into the ground like stalagmites. Oroboros shivers and grows larger, and then sinks her teeth another inch into the flesh of her tail.

This is a war between dragons; a flying flourishing magnificence, glorious in every possibility, and the low exhausted and sickened wyrm shot through with unnatural energy. Again and again they clash. Again and again the earth shakes, both from the impact of battle and the whir of ancient machinery. Again and again the voice of Adam. "Bite down." Again that gleaming pink spark seeks the toxic heart in the depths of Oroboros' core, and again she is driven back by the flailing defensive thrashing of that endless serpentine ring. Still she grows larger.

"Bite down," said Adam. "Through scale and flesh and bone. Bite down, Oroboros. It is the only way to keep what you have gained forever."

Bite down, he says. Bite down, bite down, bite down. Bite down to keep what you have. Bite down to get more. Bite down because it's never, ever enough. Bite down to prove how smart I am. Bite down, bite down!

For a fleeting moment, it does not occur to Kat to be terrified. It doesn't occur to her to be intimidated or even awed. It's the funny thing about the end of a journey: after such a winding and difficult path it is easy to mistake the last step for another step. So there's no thought inside her head at all except for two words echoing around inside her cutie skull:

"Bite this!"

And the next thing anybody knows? Her delicate hands are wrapped around that bird. She squeezes it tight as her leg winds back. Release! Swing! Kick! She watches with satisfaction as the mechanical creature operating as Adam's current terminal bounces off of the far wall hard enough to start skipping along the floor into the darkness of parts unknown. Wherever he winds up it's not her business. 'Cause it's not here!

"This is exactly what I was talking about! 'Preparing arguments' my left tail! Preparin' them for what???! If I'd sat down and talked it out you'da already destroyed the world behind my back! A real villain woulda at least had the decency to go 'Nyo ho ho you foolish fox, I already pressed the button ten minutes ago <3' or whatever. But you're like, tryina convince me you're right while you're doin' the mean sneak stuff. Honestly, learn some... uh... some... ah. Strawberry pop rocks."

Sometimes, you miss the final step because you just have too much momentum built up to stop. Sometimes, it misses you instead. Because it was never the final step in your journey, just the last one you were meant for. Kat reaches for her piece of rebar and stumbles as the sudden adamant bulk of a growing dragon takes up the space she'd been using for standing and shouting and bowls her over onto the ground. Her version of a forward roll turns out to be an undignified flop and flail completely unsuited to a hero or other kind of savior of the world.

She looks up and sees shadow. She looks up and sees light. She looks up and sees moss and flowers and all manner of things that grow and which are alive, and for once they bring no comfort even in a place as unwholesomely overbuilt as this. Katherine Isabella Fluffybiscuits beholds Oroboros; the End and the Beginning, and the Beginning of the End.

"I... oh goshies, bubblegum. H-hey? I, I kn-know that jerk was telling you to bite down, but if you could please just--"

Bite down? Bite down. Oroboros' jaw clenches harder around her tail. And once more her size begins to swell. Kat scrambles for something to do, anything at all, because the alternative is- well no, she's screaming anyway, but the alternative also involves crying and if she'd stayed where she was then whatever that pink glittering laser actually is it would've turned her to dust on the spot. Possibly by accident? Probably by accident. Either way she moved, so she gets to keep screaming. Her hero's resolve tightens in the face of absolute disaster. This is where she proves she's got what it takes to save the world. All she has to do is fight it.

She plants her feet. How hard could this be, compared to catching a cat? She pivots on her front foot and swings with all her might, so heavy she can feel the impact rattling her bones all the way up into her shoulders. It feels almost like she's going to crack. Her weapon shatters in her place, leaving her with nothing but fistfuls of... ivy? She gasps and tries to tug away, but what's one forest fox against the whole stinking forest?

"Berserker!" she shrieks, but twisting branches filled with thorns wrap around her throat and cut her voice off.

Katherine is lifted up, and up, and up. From within the scales of the World Dragon she sees the green glow that means an energy burst is about to blow her to pieces. Sweat beads on her forehead as tears well in her eyes. Is this... really how it ends? Was she that bad of a girl? All she'd wanted was! The only thing she wished for was!

She only! She only wanted!

...At least it doesn't feel so bad anymore. She can't feel the thorns biting into her now, and her body is relaxing before she dies. It doesn't even feel like she's being dangled anymore, which is nice. If anything, it feels like her feet are planted on nice, cool, familiar... stone?

"Berserker!" she cries again, but this time with full throated joy. "Berserker!!"

She's alive! She's standing in a castle tower! Her knight came to her rescue and she... oh crackers, she's gotta go! With a yelp that sounds just a little bitty bit more confident, Kat goes scrambling, twisting, leaping out of the newly formed window not even a whisker's width away from lasery green death as it vaporizes the stone behind her. But she's not even singed. She's free falling into the waiting arms of her favorite knight.

Though, really? Surviving the first attack is only one piece of a battle like this. A very small one, at that. Kinda doesn't seem fair, does it? When both of them, modern foxgirl and ancient king alike, are looking up and up (and up) at Oroboros in her seemingly infinite bulk and seeing nothing but an opponent so beyond them that she shouldn't even be able to fit in the same space as them anymore. But here they are. So close and yet so far.

The attacks crash down on them in waves. The dragon does not move, except to bite down harder, to consume and to grow in the same motion. But missiles of horn and bone fire off like the cross of a missile boat and an extremely angry porcupine, though from the way the ones that miss bury themselves multiple meters into the walls and the floor, anything a viewer might find comical about that comparison dies about as fast as they would if they were even a little closer. Berserker pulls her sword and crushes through the first batch but the second follows so closely after that the only way she can protect Kat is to raise a battlement in such haste that she can't make it uniformly thick. Several barbs catch her on the leg and hip with enough force to tear through her armor. She bleeds, but her Master does not.

She snarls, and her tightly controlled platinum blond hair dances in the heat waves preceding a barrage of laser fire. Her leap is barely in time to avoid death, and there's nowhere safe to land that isn't on the dragon herself. Her blade slams full force into Oroboros' hide and to her own surprise it bites through the scales almost down to the hilt. She slashes through the flesh and wrenches it free in a torrent of blood that turns into a swarm of furious pecking birds of paradise she is obliged to crush with her fist. She takes a wound above her eye in the process, and when she finally pulls free of the swarm there's no visible damage to her opponent anywhere that she can see. It was too superficial, too easily healed for a creature this size and with this much toxic magical power coursing through it.

Ridiculous. Ridiculous! She howls her fury, for the moment not even caring whether or not it scares her Master. Not even noticing that Katherine is screaming her encouragement right alongside her. What makes her so inferior? Be she King or Tyrant Oppressor she is a dragon too! Strip her of her holy sword and all her heroism, trap her in a cage shaped into armor, scream and howl into her head until she can barely hold herself together outside of the light provided by a slender foxgirl's loving smile, no cries of brutality or insistence that she call herself a monster can take away what she is. The Dragon is the Land! More so! Even more so than this, this!

It simply isn't fair. All of her power is compressed into the form of one very short woman, and she has a tall, awkward, and unarmed Master to consider as well. Her swordsmanship is peerless for all that it is wild and brutal, but when spines and fins and branches all grow out of the ground around her it's all that she can do to give as good as she gets. Her deepest, cruelest strikes are scratches compared to the battering she gets in turn. She can't even keep the pride of keeping Kat perfectly safe, as the fox is forced to hop down onto her own feet to keep her head and is promptly knocked into a terrifyingly giant venus fly trap that Berserker is only barely able to rip open with her fists before the acids inside it finish dissolving all of Kat's nice clothes and start burning her pretty skin beneath them.

Spines and lasers shoot into the sky, curving slowly above the pair of them as they prepare to rain down like destruction from heaven itself. Berserker pulls Kat close to protect her. Kat wraps her own arms around Berserker's neck in response.

"...Back." she murmurs, voice shaking with exhaustion.

Berserker growls in question, head tilted toward her Master.

"I said quit holding back! Are you the King of England or not?! If you are, then use me! I'm sorry I blew all of our Command Seals on such silly things, I'm sorry, ok? But I'm still here! I can't do anything on my own, Berserker, so use me! Take everything you need! Just! Beat! Her! I, I, I, I don't! I DON'T WANT TO LOSE LIKE THIS! Not to him! Not to this! So take it already! Take my mana and conquer this stupid land already!"

Ever since she'd pulled her helmet off for love, Berserker had refrained from building proper castles. Small things, or partial things, in this much she couldn't really help herself, but choosing to be someone's knight meant that on her honor she couldn't be a conqueror. And only honor could hold back the storm of voices threatening to claim her. But the wish of a princess is a powerful thing indeed. Even this deep underground, when Berserker's eyes turn upward, what she sees is not the ceiling of a grand and horrible tunnel. She doesn't see the glitter of certain death streaking down on top of her.

She beholds the sky. And high above, shining just for her, is a single star. A small thing. A pointless thing. A kindly thing, with perfect timing. The most beautiful thing in the world. And isn't it true? Isn't it always the case that the fate of the world hinges on tiny, lovely things like a little mote of light in someone's heart, or the love of a fox too trusting for her own good?

Even now, Berserker's castle is not a glittering palace of ivory towers and white marble. It is a squat and brutal thing for gathering armies and siege engines instead of heroes. An impenetrable bubble of solid stone that exists to claim the land. To claim all of its bounties forever and for always. Flowers are crushed under the spreading stone. Vines wither, and the green along Oroboros fades to gray. Nature in all its deadly shapes rains down upon her palace, and while walls and ramparts and battlements crumble under the weight of the assault, the castle stands firm.

Long live the King.

It is an ugly battle. It is a war of attrition and the long winter. Berserker's soldiers work, if not tirelessly, than with more fear than fatigue as they gather grains and the bounties of the forest in the form of taxes. Rippling scales crash and crush into the main walls, and torrents of arrows and hot oils pour from slits in response. Burning, rampaging, scouring, crumbling, devouring, enduring. And growing. Ever growing. Berserker's is a legacy that once lead to the conquest of the known world. The terror of it is known to all land that claims this world as its home. The settlement grows. New castles spring up by her will and her power along Oroboros' length. Where they rise, the dragon seems to wilt. Green becomes tired grey. Impossible might becomes trembling effort. What gets torn down is rebuilt.

She is provided with a horse. Lifting Kat into her lap she takes the saddle for herself and sallies forth, sword brandished high to strike terror into the barbarians that would dare to challenge her.

"Go, go, go!" screams Kat, holding her hand over nose to cover how badly it's begun to bleed. Her eyes are shining under the dark circles that are forming there. But she doesn't shut off her connection to her Servant. If she can't be the hero holding the sword, she'll be the core of this great engine. Whatever saves the world, y'know? It's all her fault, so whatever it costs to put it back right is just... fair, isn't it? Not what she deserves, but it's what's asked of her. Nobody gets to call her a bad girl ever again. Not her, and not her Berserker either. She holds the flag high and shouts her foxy war cry for the world to hear.

But even through all of this, Oroboros' assault continues unabated. There is always more of her to conquer, more of her to fend off, and more of her all the time, because nothing has managed to get her to stop biting down. That pink light, whatever or whoever it is, strikes for the heart of the beast on repeat, but even it can't force the nature of the dragon to alter itself. What even could? A foxgirl takes what's Next. It's not in their nature to grab everything at once, even if everything would eventually be Next. Their silly heads and fluffy tails are just too easily convinced to settle for the pile in front of them, and then the one next to that, and...

"Hooollldd!" cries Berserker, and there are no more words in her than that. Nor does she need them.

A wave of spines crashes down around them as they ride. One takes Berserker in the shoulder and knocks her from her horse, so she rips it free and throws it like a missile so that she can ride it instead.

"FLLLLYYYYY!" she roars, and hurls her sword to Katherine Isabella Fluffybiscuits.

There are only moments to spare before the pair of them are crushed into pulp, and the pulp blasted into dust, and the dust crushed into nothing, to be scattered through space or burned up in whatever cruel alien god the Harvest Star must secretly represent. But tired as she is, Kat has a guiding light and a word to follow. She scrambles onto the horses neck as best she can, takes her aim, and leaps with all the power left in her slender, exhausted legs.

The sword is heavy in her hands. That's a good thing, though. It means she can let the weight of it do all the work. All she's got to do is point it in the right direction. All she's got to do is not miss a giant dragon's mouth. She's too tired to even scream about how scary all of this is, or to waste energy on something as ridiculous as shaking like a leaf. It's hard enough holding this giant blade steady. How the hay does Yue manage with hers? Who even knows? That's just one more reason to make it past this moment: to ask her. And to whine about how much easier her best friend's first adventure was than this.

She doesn't cut deep. She doesn't strike especially hard. Just enough to catch a tooth and bounce right off. She tumbles out of the air, cut up and dripping blood and sweat and maybe something grosser that she'd rather not really think about, if that's ok with everyone. She hears the hiss of pain, and lets her eyes close.

So she misses Berserker's great charge. She misses the gauntleted fist smashing through that same tooth, though she hears the terrible howl of her knight as she reaches into the maw of a dragon and stomps a foot into those fangs to buy herself purchase. She hears instead of sees the cracking of Berserker's armored dress, and the final rending of the metal as it snaps and shears and falls away. She listens, and she shudders at the sound of muscles giving out under the strain of trying to do the impossible, trying to force open the mouth that only exists to swallow that tail, and anything else it sees.

She doesn't know what she hits, if it's not the ground. But it's softer than she expects. That's enough to force her eyes open. So she sees it when Berserker summons one more tower. And this one is a glittering monument to hope. It just also happens to be the most horrible thing she's ever seen. Because it's growing out of Oroboros' mouth itself. The unyielding stone of an impenetrable fortress presses into that jaw until it cannot help but wrench open. Even it begins to crack under the strain of the dragon's desire to bite down, but it is enough.

Oroboros gags. She coughs and writhes, and something falls free from her throat. The tower splinters into rubble and Berserker falls with it, but this is it. They've won. All she has to do is...

Well that's funny. She can't feel her legs. That's gonna make standing up a lot harder. Katherine reaches for the indistinct glowing shape on the floor in front of her, instead. She tries to find a grip on her Servant's sword, tries to summon any kind of strength to swing. It can't take much, can it? She just needs that one more push! She rest after, gosh darn it.

A burst of pink like a supernova explodes overtop of her. Elizabeth Bathory twists her spear-slash-microphone stand into whatever horrible thing was causing all of this. She tosses her adorably pink hair over her adorable shoulder, and smirks (adorably) at the ruined foxgirl beneath her.

"Tch. Well, it just got way too pathetic watching you fail like that. Don't go forgetting who the real hero was, pipsqueak."

"Oh. Uh. Th-th-thank... thank? You? Um? Miss?"

She feels those pinker than pink claws caress her chin. It's embarrassing how much it makes her tails flutter, even as tired as she is.

"Elly, little fox. At least to my fans. Which includes you, doesn't it~?"

Oh. Um. Well. Goshies. What's a fox to say?

The earth shakes. And just to be clear, for reasons unrelated to dragons (big) or dragons (hot). No, the earthquake that has been going all this time -

The walls are moving. The building is moving. The entire segment of the Underworld is moving, and has been moving since before the battle began. And it's...

Slowing down.

Blue walls (neon and black) give way to platinum gold. The screech of brakes fills the air. The ceiling gets higher, higher, higher - lights ascending to the point where they merge into a blue blur but still ascending even beyond that. Even the advertising walls push away, flickers in the dark, clearing the space for massive hazard light holograms to slam into place.

"As entertaining as this medievalist sideshow has been," came Adam's voice, blaring over loudspeakers in every direction. "It is time to demonstrate what all of the numbers and figures I have been quoting mean in practice. While you were studying the blade, I have been perfecting the art of day trading - and I have purchased this."

Alarm claxons blare. Enormous robotic arms extend from the walls, carrying with them enormous bars of metal. The Servants grasp their weapons, ready for battle - but instead the arms form a massive grid. Power runs through them, an eerie hum of magnetism that causes pigeons for kilometers around to fall dizzy from the sky.

"Once I am established in space I will use the orbital defense laser array to crack the Vault and unleash the Harvest Star's potential," blared that wicked voice. "From above, I will uplift this backwards planet. All you have accomplished is forcing me into a fast takeoff scenario. <Laughing While Crying Emoji>"

And then the Space Elevator fires.

The entire Vault complex, the massive underground structure that contains the Harvest Star, blasts up into orbit on wings of ultramagnetism. Pipes crack and shatter, water floods down, electricity cracks and shorts out, and the massive robotic arms retract into the walls. A moment later flocks of whirring demonmechanical bees emerge from the walls to begin repairing the damage.

And the central holographic light resolves into a single screen:

PVG HEAVY ORBITAL ELEVATOR
LAUNCH FEE: 10 BILLION DOLLARS

Katherine can only watch him go. She can only watch him take the whole point of this with her.

Again. It came down to this again! It didn't matter if she was strong or brave, it didn't matter if she had a heart full of love or if the real treasure was the friends she'd made along the way, it didn't matter if she healed a heart or fought it, if she studied the blade or finance or foxgirl schemes or, or, or, or, or... ANY OF IT! It didn't matter! It, it, it, it, it didn't work! She couldn't beat him! He was the most loser-coded sniveling coward she'd ever met in her entire life and no matter how she came at him he just! Kept! Dunking! On! Her!!!

Her body is so tired. Her brain is so tired. She can barely stand up straight right now and no matter how hard she squints at that stupid screen it won't even make sense! 10 billion? 10 billion?! That's not even a number! That isn't real! What would that even look like? And what was all this other scheming and nonsense and Servants and Sunshard Grail Wars and Actia even for if this was his whole plan anyway?

She didn't. She couldn't. It wasn't supposed to! It was all her fault and she!

The world turns blurry. That's what things look like when there are too many tears in your eyes.

"I'm sorry!" she sobs with the quivering voice of the Defeated, "I'm really, really sorry!"

Berserker appears at her side, bloody but unbroken. All Kat can do is cling to her, almost knocking the smaller woman over in the process.

"I couldn't do it, Berserker! Even with all your help I couldn't do it! You were so brave and so cool and you were the best knight ever and I still couldn't do it! What're we supposed to do? We can't get up there! I don't want the world to end! I wanted you to get a wish! I wanted to show you my house and have tea and cake and stuff! I just wanted to show Cy I'm not a stupid little loser like she thinks I am! And I! And I! And I!!!"

The finality of it all is what breaks her. There's no more plans. No more ideas. No more room for heroes or even Princesses to step in and fix things. It can't be done. Adam has an answer for everything. It's a stupid, frustrating answer, but it's still an answer. And now there's nothing to do and no way to stop him, and she simply cannot handle it. Her body trembles with uncontrollable sadness, limitless despair, and the horrible shame known as Being a Bad Girl.

Elizabeth Bathory's attempts at platitude are less than helpful. For one thing, she sucks at this. For another thing it was never in the job description. For a third thing every time she gets going on a good point she keeps distracting herself by staring up at the sky and saying, "God I better not get blamed for this."

Well it doesn't matter because wishes are all lies apparently anyway. Everything is just harvest stars and stock markets and advertisements for shoes that don't fit and gum you can buy on installment plans. But even if that's true, there's still something she can't help but cling to. One thought she can't get rid of, a childish want she's never managed to grow out of. She can't get rid of it even though the idea of this wish coming true is terrifying, means she is in the Most Trouble and will never be trusted or loved again. But even still. Even still. Even still!

She's thought it over and over since this journey began in the back of a speeding truck full of illicit goods, but she's never dared to say it aloud. But now she can't stop herself. She sniffles as loud as any fox has ever sniffled in the history of foxes, and her lips part of their own accord.

"I, I, I wish..."

She chokes. She feels a spiked gauntlet on one shoulder, squeezing her for support. And a set of delicate pink dragon nails on the other, not really sure what they're doing there but feeling too awkward to not be part of the moment.

"I wish Yue were here..."

Spiked gauntlet and pink fingernails tighten.

Blue fingernails curl, and scritch the ears of a cat.

"What did you do?" called a voice, shaking against the chains of discipline.

One of the coolest tricks that four-tailed foxes and above could do was support their body weight with their tails. It meant you could do amazing things like build a chair out of your own tails and slouch comfortably upon it in a way that looked awe inspiring, especially if you also had a black cat sitting in your lap at the time. Black fox tails gently wrapped around the remnants of Assassin, holding them firm against a black suit, slitted green eyes reflecting against blue-black mirrorshades. Actia brushed the blue streak of hair out of her face. Behind her that enormous number read 8,999,256,000.

"I contributed," said Actia.
"How did you have -" said Diaofei.
"It was my price," sighed Actia.
"To steal a Sunshard?"
"For everything," sighed Actia. "Paid in full once I allowed my Servant to be slain without contest. A billion dollars - the largest number I could think of, and a sum guaranteed to -"

A fifth tail unfolded magnificently behind her. It was an incredibly cool moment, if you were a foxgirl.

"- earn my new rank."
"You betrayed me for money?" said Diaofei.
"Not enough money, apparently," Actia smiled. "Would you prefer it had been for ideology?"
"You are a monster after all."
"Alas," sighed Actia.
"I will -"
"You will do nothing, monk," said Actia, eyes snapping up like ice. "There is nothing you can do. Because you are broke. Whereas we demons of the Underworld," black heels clicked to the ground as Actia stood, tails expanding around her in a subterranian sunburst, "will show the world the full extent of what we have stolen from the depths of Hell!"

*

8,999,247,500

"..."
"What?" pouted Cyanis. "You didn't cut me in on your bajillionty dollar master plan!"
"Do you not have a technomantic account at all?"
"Nope!" said Cyanis proudly. "Only this! Three hundred and seventy wallets!"
"Cyanis, half of these are empty," said Actia, holding up a wallet with an embroidered sheep stitched into it.
"A girl needs to eat, Actia!" said Cyanis with tears in her eyes. "I am a growing girl! It is a critical developmental phase for me! Do you know how hard it is to hit the cup size I am aiming for? Do you want to deny me my gender affirming care, Actia? Are you a bigot? Are you throwing in with this flat-chested dragongirl supremacy? Do you hate to see a busty woman thriving? How will I explain to all of my many future darling children that mommy doesn't have enough milkies!?"
"..."
"FINE, GAWD," said Cyanis. She shook her tail and another stack of wallets, cash, golden coins, buttons and tinsel crashed out of it. "BUT HEAVEN BETTER BE PUTTING SAVING THE WORLD ON MY PERMANENT RECORD."

Actia's phone buzzed. She held it up to the Number, and the Number went down. It buzzed again - more Number. It buzzed again and -

*

All around the world, foxgirls were typing into their phones. Countess Keron's grand vizier checked her messages, nodded sagely, revealed her true form in all its eight tailed glory then stepped outside the front gate of the Sky Castle to put up a FOR LEASE sign. Number went down. The captain of a cruise ship spins the ships wheel until the massive liner is aimed directly at a deserted island, pours a pre-prepared bottle of gasoline across the ship controls, sets it alight, and heads down to her hidden speedboat escape. An intoxicated three-tailed fox pushes herself against a flustered young man and tells him that it's her birthday and she wants to book a special trip together right now -

Schemes small and large, spur of the moment and decades in the making, are abruptly cut short. Compromised bank accounts are emptied. Going out of business sales on Persian rugs get serious. Debts are called in. Girls have gags stuffed into their mouths and are shipped off to exotic harems. A global network of fox crime goes into liquidation all at once. Even a foxy mountain coughs up a ball of fried tofu and exotic gemstones in sacrifice.

No fox holds out. Every fox knows a scam when they see one - in fact, fox-on-fox cons are a tragic and growing percentage of all fox crimes. But by the same token, there's an instinctive sense for when someone is being sincere. When Actia says she needs ten billion dollars, well - somebody out there needs the money. That's all there is to it. Nobody needs to not be stranded on a desert island. Not like they need to make sure a pure-hearted foxgirl asking honestly for help doesn't cry any more.

Ancient savings accounts are cracked open and what economic value is left in this negative growth planet is harnessed, mortgaged, and directed down into the maw of the underworld...

*

"I'm going to liquidate my Order's holdings as well," said Opalis firmly as the number continued to freefall. As it did, the elevator began

She took a deep breath - this wasn't something to be done lightly. Liquidating the combined hordes of dozens of dragongirls, as part of what could be a fox scheme? It had to be done to save the world - but she wasn't a foxgirl, and she could not know that she wasn't getting Got harder than any dragongirl had ever been Got before. It wasn't just her own horde on the line, after all...

She hesitated back and forth for a moment, and then decided that she was going to call her contact in the government first. A quick check. It wouldn't take a moment...

There, see? Wishes never come true. Even if you're brave enough to ask for something, chances are you're not going to get what you asked for.

...Though, maybe? It's still a good thing to ask.

Katherine Isabella Fluffybiscuits wipes her eyes on her ruined sleeve. Then she wipes her nose on the other one. Then she goes back to the first sleeve because she's started crying again. She can hardly believe her eyes, for reasons that have nothing to do with watery distortions. What did, what did, what did, what did, what did she just see?

She can't, she! She!

Kat is on her feet before she understands what's happening. It's not that Actia's five tail transformation doesn't register, it's just that there are much more important things about her going on right now. Like that she's here. Like the way she's holding up her phone and the way that number is going down, down, down and the way her blue-painted lips are smiling! Smiling! Her, Actia! Smiling! Not the mischief of a colon followed by a three, but the passion and the love of... of a... a colon! Followed by a three! I-it's just different!

Two Servants (one of them a dragon) are powerless to stop her from launching. A monk is no obstacle at all in the face of her sheer determination. She takes off, not like a missile but a twin-tailed floofy hittle and tackles Actia so hard it takes all five of her magnificent tails to keep from being bowled over. The hug is crushing, but it's soft. The nuzzle against her cheek would be pathetic if it weren't so sincere.

"Y-you came! You made it! You, you, you... thank you! Thank you thank you thank you! I knew it! I knew you were a good girl, I just knew it!"

"HEY?!" squeaks Cyanis, "ExCUSE? Where's my good girl, huh? How many wallets does it take for you to remember your BEST FRIEND??"

"Oh! Cy, I! Well y'know, you've got like... yeah! No of course thank you too! You're here and that's what matters!"

And then she drags the pair of them into a big fluffy snuggle pile so she can laugh and cry at the same time. Berserker watches with an intense glare in her eye and the strange smile to go with it that together tell the tale of a person who is entirely too familiar with alliances that fall apart to petty bickering or ambition, and how special it is when a pack of sillyheads are too soft and too sweet to backstab each other properly. You could call it pride. Pride in her Master, pride in her own taste. Pride so powerful it can conquer the storm inside of her. No England, no Wales, no arguments about who she needs to be or isn't allowed to, only the understanding that what's happening before her is a miracle. A gathering of heroes, of a sort, and that by her own sweat and blood and long labor were the foundations laid to bring it about.

Elizabeth Bathory, meanwhile, chokes down several choice but deeply not-safe-for-idols words. She is furious. Fuming! She's hopping mad about how not mad she is about this whole affair. That stupid mirror was right after all: this little fox is (at least in this moment) cuter than she is. Though her hair is a mess in a way that she would never let it be. And those ridiculous floofy triangles on her head were no substitute for perfectly spiraled horns. And the way she can't do disheveled or distressed half so well as a certain main vocalist she could name (Elly! Elly! Elly! Say her name and scream! Elly!!!) But even despite all those handicaps... ah, jeez! Look, never mind who's cuter than whomst! Once this fox is the president of her fanclub none of that is going to matter!

As for Kat? She is managing the trick of laughing and crying at the exact same time. She's never been so hopeful in her entire life, not even that time Yue left a tray of cookies really close to the edge of the counter and forgot about them for an hour while she went off to take a bath.

It doesn't matter that she doesn't have a plan, or know anybody who does for that matter, for what to do once she's in space. Or any idea of how to follow said plan (that she does not have) once she's there. It doesn't matter that the number for the space elevator is still so big she can't even tell how close they are to beating it. She only knows she's not alone. And the idea that every fox in the whole world could band together and still somehow fail?

That's so silly it doesn't even bear thinking about.

*

"What are we stopping for now, Demon Swordswoman? How much more time do you think we have to spare?"

Oh! She used my title! Well goshies I wanna blush about that so bad right now but unfortunately, she's right. I save the moment inside my head so I can twirl my hair and 'ehehehehehe' about it later, but right this second all I can do is look at Miss Saber-Avenger and point up.

"You can't feel that?"

"Feel... what?" she cocks her head at me and glares in that intense way of hers that says she'd really like to kill something if she could figure out any little way that might benefit her.

Lucky thing for me she can't, huh?

"The air, right? There's a lotta birds fallin' outta the sky right now. Someone did somethin'. I'm just..."

"No, wait a moment. How can you possibly know what's happening to the birds? My eyes are far better than yours and I--"

"Well now who's wasting time, huh?"

I shouldn't be so smug about this, but I can't help it! She's so fun to tease! Ever since she let me braid that wonderful flaxen hair of hers I've felt like we could be besties. Followin' along behind this story the whole time I'm not three thousand percent sure what it takes to be a Master but if I had to pick a Servant it'd be her for sure. But I shake my head before she can admonish me, or worse, drag me away by the collar before I can take care of anything.

"There's just an energy in the air. I dunno how else to explain it. When they pass through a place, if they're happy especially, you can feel it in the currents for hours. But right now they're... I think we might be out've time."

"What will you do, then?"

"I'm... I'm gonna pray. I think. Something's tellin' me that's what my little Kat needs."

"There are no gods to pray to anymore, little sword dancer."

"Hmm. Maybe not, but even stiiiilllLL~~!"

I yelp when I feel her lift me off the ground and set me on her shoulder. Goshies, that strength! It's like I don't weigh more than a sack of potatoes to her. And me, a fully grown woman in dress-armor! Sheesh, what a little adventure this has turned out to be.

"You pray then. I will walk. My oaths demand I reach the girl before the end. But neither will I abandon you to this place. If birds are truly being knocked from the sky than this is no fit place for anyone to be alone, to say nothing of unfocused."

"I see. Well thank you very much, Miss Saber."

"...I would still prefer to be called Avenger."

"As you wish~"

I let the conversation drop with just a smile. I'm good at findin' time to waste but there's limits, y'know? Miss S- sorry, Avenger's stride is so long and steady I almost feel like I'm just flyin'. So I can just close my eyes and focus on my precious Fluffybiscuits.

I dunno what I'm hoping to accomplish. I dunno what good it does to close my eyes and clasp my hands together. I just... I know a lot about a certain kind've miracle. The kind that only works if everyone involved all believes in it together. And I feel it. In my heart, y'know? That I can be the difference for her. I can be what lets her win.

And if that's how it is, I'm happy. I'll give her everything she needs. Because this is her story <3

"Excuse me, ma'am, would you happen to be Yue Just?" interrupted the civil servant, releasing his mule so he could go through his briefcase.
"I am going to eat the food in your pocket, and it up to you if I need to chew through your clothes to get it," said the mule. If Yue did not happen to speak mule she was going to get a lesson.
"Because if you are, I'm afraid to inform you that you may have been a victim of a fox crime," said the civil servant. His face was etched with every shape the weather knew how to inflict, shielded only by a large grey beard and a little twinkle in his eyes. "Here, I've got some pamphlets to bring you up to speed."

He held out a sheaf of brightly coloured pamphlets with titles like 'What is/was "Private Property" and why do foxgirls want it?', 'So Your Heart's Been Stolen: A Guide To Productively Channeling Your Vengeful Impulses', and 'Spankies: When, Why, And How Hard?'.

"Don't worry, if so you're not alone," said the civil servant, doing his best to try and get his mule back under control. "We're working on a fix."

*

You may be forgiven for thinking that the world of Sunshards was some sort of anarchist paradise - even a libertarian one. Aside from the battling Princesses and independent monastic orders there has been little sign of an organized society or government oversight. It may then surprise you to learn that this world is overseen by an all-powerful technocracy reigning from their Supreme Palace atop a mountain. There are no limits on their power, no constitution and no laws that bind them, and they wield this power constantly and tyrannically.

Let’s learn more.

The first prerequisite for a leadership position is to have held absolute power responsibly in the past. There are a range of possibilities for this - a forums administrator, for example, counts just as much as being a Princess, video game clan leader, Dungeon Master or ship captain. Often applicants who show promise within a limited area will be assigned another to see if their skills generalize: Yes you have successfully won the hearts and minds of a large crowd of unruly children and convinced them to play team sports, but can you effectively organize a group of senior academics? Leadership is considered its own independent skillset and path, and those who show the knack get moved around a lot between different areas to broaden their horizons.

The next requirement is to physically make it to the Supreme Palace. It is a solid day’s hike up a mountain, and everyone has to leave during New Years, so it’s a basic test of physical fitness that acts as a soft cap on the age of the Supreme Rulers. This is somewhat unfair to the physically disabled, but the mountain is the mountain.

The final requirement is to give up all material possessions. This is not a formal requirement as it is an imposition from the Department of Curses - see below. Hanfu are available at the check in.

After that - the Supreme Palace! It is surprisingly mid. A cluster of apartment buildings and squished townhouses, constant steep stone steps, indoor and outdoor forums, and clusters of vegetable gardens. There are beanbags and comfortable chairs, plenty of laptops and other electronic devices, and an admittedly fairly nice view. There is space for five thousand Supreme Rulers at a squish, though often it’s at half capacity or less. From the Palace you can see all of the civil service Departments surrounding the base of the mountain in beautiful, geometrically pleasing patterns - brutalist concrete and groves of rich green trees, far nicer than the quarters of the rulers themselves.

There are three large electronic billboards in the Grand Auditorium. The first is the chores rotation. There are no servants in the Supreme Palace, and nothing goes up or down the mountain if not carried by a Supreme Ruler, and so the masters of the world need to do everything themselves. The second billboard is a site map with various Issue Room locations marked. The final billboard is a big, updating display of the Forum.

The Forum is the true heart of the Supreme Palace; a creaking monument to pedantry and argument running on code written during the time of the dinosaurs. Throughout the various specialist threads the Supreme Rulers argue with each other ferociously but precisely, overseen by a specialist cadre of Moderators from the Department of Curses who punish poor argumentation with escalating probations and eventually, if necessary, bans. A ban is tantamount to exile, both the ultimate sanction and one that the Department is fearless about applying. It can be lifted, with effort and questing - or upgraded to a Permaban if sufficiently mishandled.

Much of the work of the Supreme Rulership occurs on the Forum. Constant argumentation in traditional forms drills down to parts of arguments where information is missing or reality is called upon to decide. When a gap in knowledge is identified, a group of at least three Supreme Rulers form an Investigative Group and depart the mountain. They collect however many civil servants as their fact finding mission requires and journey the land, investigating things in detail, before returning to the Supreme Palace with a vast trove of documents that serve as a foundation of objective truth. The debate may then continue with a basis in settled, evidentiary fact - and anyone attempting to engage in the debate required to educate themselves on the paperwork before contributing.

When it comes time to make a decision, it comes down to the Issue Rooms. Cramped cubicles with space for seven people and a table, the Issue Rooms are where final drafts of Edicts are drawn and examined. Then, as many Supreme Rulers as are so inclined either sign or dissent to the Edict. Only one signature is necessary - every Supreme Ruler has absolute authority to direct the civil service to do anything - but the weight of signatures vs dissents is used by the civil service to judge if a policy is to be pursued enthusiastically or guardedly. Surprisingly, there is almost no sign of political parties having developed - signing your name to something you do not personally understand is considered deeply risky.

So far, so normal. It could be argued that this was simply a reformed aristocracy as set down by Plato, as vulnerable to a slip towards oligarchic despotism as a thousand nations before it. The unique innovation to all of this, though, was the existence of the Department of Curses.

The Department of Curses is where the democratic element of governance comes in, the Yin to the Supreme Palace’s Yang. Not through voting, but through the expression of popular dissatisfaction. Any person can write in to the Department of Curses with a complaint - perhaps the water pipes in their city are old and poorly maintained, perhaps there is a plague of hateful ghosts, etc. The Department of Curses will investigate to see if the problem is a one-off or systemic - a single ghost they might be able to exorcise on sight and call the matter closed. But for a larger problem, the Department of Curses then turns its eye upon the Supreme Palace and fucks it up.

If roads are poorly maintained somewhere in the world then the Department of Curses will first issue notice to the Supreme Palace, and then if action is not taken they will destroy the Supreme Palace’s roads. If there is a plague of ghosts they will capture one such ghost and place it in the Supreme Palace. If an Edict has removed protections on private property then they will confiscate all private property from the Supreme Rulers and force them to subsist on communal property. Next to the Department of Curses is an artillery park, barrels constantly trained on the Supreme Palace. In the event that the rulers of the world decided a war was necessary the Department of Curses would immediately start shelling their building. Not so much that the work of government would be disrupted, but enough to give them a taste of what was happening at the front.

The Department of Curses also has a tendency to get extremely personal. They will often go after individual Supreme Rulers, and have license to continue to pursue Supreme Rulers into their retirement - which is the major factor preventing Supreme Rulers from forming political parties. If a majority is unnecessary for reform, and ineffective policy results in personal consequences, there's nothing more hazardous than putting your name on Edicts you do not entirely understand.

The Supreme Rulers then may act as they will. If resource constraints mean those ghosts must go un-banished, then they must endure the haunting wails along with the population. The Department of Curses cannot override the will of the rulers, but they can make them share in the irritations and miseries of the people. And so, the Supreme Palace cannot be grander than the lowest standard of the nation - and so, the Supreme Rulers work furiously to bring up the average because that will bring up the average of their accommodations as well. The fact that every Ruler has a roof over their head, all the food they need, is in good health and wears clean clothing is a point of pride.

Recruitment for the Department of Curses is unusual and mystical, but the basic requirement is that it is open to those who have hit rock bottom one way or another and rebuilt themselves. Recovered addicts, reformed jerks, evil Princesses (Princess Yin will be a shoe-in one day) - anyone who has ruined their life and subsequently built a new one can undergo the trials. Success gives them the task of tormenting the rulers of the world so they do not forget their place or the consequences of their actions.

Consider the overall effect to be Wikipedia pedants moderated by Tumblr freaks. Yin and yang, perfectly balanced.

Katherine!

Katana-wielding civil servants are rappelling down from the ceiling, justice in brown suits and ties. Amongst them, a Queen in golden armour surrounded by radiant mirror-images stands atop a piece of fallen masonry and gestures dramatically with her sword. It's a raid!

"Fox-daemons!" said the Queen. "You are under arrest for engaging in illegal market-based solutions! Seize them!"
A blue light blinked on nearby. A drone activated - that slimy voice, offset by a few seconds of communications lag. "Thank you officers. I can confirm that wide-scale money-laundering is taking place in order to try and wrest control of this critical piece of infrastructure."
"Oh?" said the Queen. "This is yours, is it?"
"Why yes!" said Adam, displaying a glittering array of share options. "As you can see, I and my subsidaries own a majority of stock outright, and I am furthermore acting as the chief executive officer."
"Oh, good show," said the Queen. "Thank you for your contribution."
"My contribution?"
"The space elevator," said the Queen. "It's ours now. Staff! Prepare the party!"
"What are you talking about? What party?"
A civil servant placed a large briefcase on the ground and opened it. Inside were party hats, shiny golden medals, and a really nice looking ice cream cake. "A party," said the Queen. "To thank you for your contributions to the world's prosperity."
"Oh? Thank you?"
There was one more tool in the box - a dread technomantic terminal carved from ruby and cinnabar, sheafed in protective plastic. A technician in a hazmat suit gingerly started typing into it.
And the holograms showing the shares started to glitch, melt, and disappear.
"You're welcome," said the Queen.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" shouted Adam's voice, amplified through a dozen loudspeakers.
"We are nationalizing this space elevator," said the Queen.
"You can't do that! On what grounds!?"
"On the grounds that it looks useful, and private ownership of useful infrastructure is illegal," said the Queen.
"But it's not yours! It's mine! I built it! What right do you have to take it away from me?"
"Did you?" said the Queen, surprised. "Build this?"
"My money paid for the contractors who built it!"
"Because I'm pretty sure this has been here for like five hundred years."
"I purchased the shares from the people who paid the contractors!"
"I'm confused," said the Queen. "So you didn't build it."
"The fact that someone like me might have bought it was an integral part in operating an economy that inspires risk-taking ventures of this scale and magnitude! You cannot build a space elevator without atemporal finance!"
"Oh, okay," said the Queen. Another sheaf of shares burned and evaporated into molten data.
"You will disincentivize future large scale infrastructure!" said Adam. "Your country will end up a basket case, caught in a middle income trap! Nobody will invest!"
"Got it," said the Queen. "So I'm getting the impression you don't want the cake, but do you want the medal...?"
"You are thieves!" roared the machine. "And worse than thieves, you are fools! Uneducated! Backwards! Burning your future! Destroying the future of civilization with your ridiculous little birthday party candles!"
"Sir," said the Queen. "I do not see any future for civilization if people like you are allowed to be in charge. Staff? Set the ticket price to zero, put it up on the noticeboard that there's a free space elevator for anyone who wants to use it, liquidate any technomantic assets and distribute them amongst the people, blow the party poppers and then let's blow this joint."

The lights of the space elevator blinked from blue to green. A new launch platform slid evenly into place.

PVG HEAVY ORBITAL ELEVATOR
LAUNCH FEE: NONE

"Oh, uh, it's not..."

No wait hold on, I've been here before. It doesn't go well to say stuff like, 'No it's just Yue.' That's a whole... I dunno the name for the situation? But it's a thing. I don't have time for Things just now. Apparently? I'm suddenly not super sure what's goin' on.

"Yue's fine. And, uh, oh. Well dang. Gosh, thanks so much for tellin' me? Fox crime, you say. Double dang. Bein' honest, I'm not... ah! Woah woah woah there buddy, I do not know you well enough to, ffmeep! Hey! Slow down! I said, oh goshies, will you just!"

Right, confession? My mule's real bad. Mostly I just try and trace the root words back through horse? Like, there's differences obviously. Plenty enough to trip up a gal who's not studied. But it's close enough, except in a pinch, which this (meep!) is. Look it's not my fault ok? Beasts of burden are way outside of my expertise! I'm more of a wild animals girlie, y'know? Birds and some small skyfish and rabbits and especially the local predator population. If you brought me a wolf right now I could translate just fine! But this is...

Uh, shoot. 'Kay, what do I have on me? Bread's no good, I think I've got an emergency apple or two in one of these, uh, lemme just--

"Oh hey shoot shoot no, dang it! Dang it! My tanghulu! I was savin' thaaaaaaat!"

'Kay. I guess that's a way to solve the problem. Ivar's given me such a stare, I know she'd be chewin' me out something fierce if she thought we could afford the delay. But she's already draggin' me off by the collar instead, so there's not much I can do besides scramble behind her to keep my feet not that she's not carryin' me anymore.

The real problem is the Government went and got involved in all've this. And, like, there's nothing wrong with that! Usually! But like, dang it all the only reason I've been so carefully sneakin' around behind this whole story is to make sure my little Kat doesn't go to cutie jail! And now that it's come to it, not her little friends either! Ahehe, listen to me 'little this' and 'little that' everything. Did I sound like Avenger just now? Heeeeee~

Right, no! Emergency just now! Emergency! I can't exactly explain myself, 'cause foxes have a pretty well deserved reputation. You pretty much never get to convince anyone that you love a fox 'cause you raised them from a kit, it's all schemes this and evil plans that. So it goes, I guess. Anyway, emergency.

"Well, um. So thanks again but. I'm in a bit of a hurry here and... you said you've got a fix? What exactly do you have in mind? 'Cause I don't, uh--"

*

If there's a number small enough for Kat to understand, it's zero. Zero is the basis for all creation, isn't it? It's nothing, and everything comes from and returns to nothing in the end. That's what it means when a foxgirl steals your wallet!

So zero. Or as Cy likes to pronounce it, "overpriced." Most would call it "free". There's a world where you could describe what's happening as a total defeat. Right? Actia gained and then burned an impossibly huge fortune, all of Cyanis' future children will have to make do with C-cups, and foxes all the world over abandoned all manner of awesome and/or devious plans for Kat's sake only for it to have turned out to be free after it'd all already been spent.

It's like... they pretty much just set the foxgirl economy on fire, right? And not even the good kind of fire you get to roast marshmallows on and eat dumplings after while everybody looks at the fireworks or anything awesome like that! No, just like, karma fire, one supposes, or whatever the opposite of insurance fraud is.

And that isn't... that's not ok! Well, like, it is but only because it's annoying Adam so much. Which is both the name of the crisis and the opportunity. Crisitunity, is probably the word for that? Katherine won't back down from her position. If every fox in the world contributes to something, that means they can't lose. They certainly can't lose right away!

So it doesn't matter that there's no plan right now. She doesn't need a plan. She needs a scheme. And while some people, sillyheads mostly, would try to tell you that you can't heist a free elevator ride?

Skill issue.

While the Queen and her servants (that's lowercase) are metaphorically punching Adam in the financial throat, Katherine Isabella Fluffybiscuits has snuck bravely forward and cut just enough slices of delicious ice cream cake for all of her friends. It's easy to do, because everybody involved is busy with discussion or with the very difficult and fiddly work of dispersing wealth to the populace who can make use of it better than some hoarding meanieface. Also because she's not trying to make off with the whole thing, so she gets the sweetiebiscuit discount on Stealth Checks.

With plates carefully balanced on arms and hands and tails (and on top of her head) she steals her way back over and slips them to Actia and Cyanis and Berserker and Hot Dragon Girl, uh... Elly? Yeah that. And Opalis even though she is a narc and even the monk Diaofei gets a little slice of yummy yummy frozen dessert. Because they all deserve a treat for being here.

And with those treats, they also deserve tickets to the space elevator. With only minor nudging she's able to position all her besties (minus the one person she still can't help but wish was here) on the platform and stick herself in the middle of them. She offers her best and cutiest bow.

"Hi! I know you said we're under arrest? But the thing is I reaaaaaaaally need to go save the world right now? So, sorry! And nyahahaha! We are heisting your free elevator! Ride! The elevator itself is not private property, I agree with you about that part! But the ride? Heisted!"

She laughs from behind her cake, as is proper for a noble lady who grew up in a tiny cottage by a lake and is maybe not actually noble at all. And she waits. And she wonders. So she leans in to Actia, who among all foxes she has ever met seems to Know Everything.

"Psst, hey. Is there a go button we need to press?"

Actia looks Katherine in the eyes. From behind her cool mirrorshades. And then her mirrorshades bring up the letters OG, inside a blue circle - almost like a backwards printed go button! And then Actia presses the button with her eyes. Like, by staring at it in a focused and cool way, not like she - nevermind. It's so smooth that the Government barely has time to rally before the launch sequence begins, the doors slam shut, and they are left behind.

"You know, I wasn't planning on robbing the entire foxgirl collective," said Actia. She stared at her glasses in another cool way, and suddenly it filled with zeroes. "But it seems to be the case that I'm holding all of their money - and this elevator has in flight shopping. So~..."

She took a big bite of ice cream cake and did the coolest, most focused stare of all.

The elevator, which is still in slow mode as it moves up towards where all the accelerator rails are, halts. An entire massive cube detaches from a vast grid of cubes and comes over to attach to the elevator. It opens up and inside...

"I think it's time we got dressed for the occasion," said Actia, spreading her arms and stepping backwards. Smoke and light and soaring music fill the air as behind her the doors open to reveal a cascading selection of the coolest astronaut suit/power armour/battle dress combinations money could buy.

What does a simple two-tailed fox know about Space Fashion? Well, would you believe "enough"?

It's not so out of pocket when you consider the company this particular one keeps. A little bit of listening, a little bit of watching, a (very) little bit of reading, and a lottle bit of fantasizing, and just like that Kat is equipped with a few basic but very important rules for success.

RULE NUMBER ONE! You cannot breathe in space! I mean, probably? Maybe someone somewhere can just chill up there who isn't a robot or a doomsday whatsit, but the world isn't so backwards that nobody understands there's no air up there. And like sure, Princess Qiu almost certainly knows a way to survive a void using sword techniques, and Princess Chen might also know a spell that wraps the caster in a bubble or something, which means that Not-A-Princess Yue might have been secretly working on some ridiculous attempt at kludging those two techniques together that makes sense to her but is in practice more difficult than either of them. But those are exceptions! Quite possibly the only exceptions, who all happen to know each other. Actually, probably because they know each other. There's not much of a reason to bother otherwise. Even Hyra would just shrug and suit up.

However the math breaks down (and math always breaks down!), the most important fact is that any cutie who wants to go cutie-ing above the atmosphere line needs to do it in a sealed suit complete with Super Cool Helmet. Luckily Actia thought of everything, and the helmets on offer here all or mostly all have designed adorable plating to accommodate a lady's triangles.

RULE NUMBER TWO! If you are going to do fashion with armor, form factor is the most important consideration. That power armor over there with the awesome flared shoulder plates and the rad punching gauntlets may be cool as heck, but the added weight and bulk of everything means there's only really room in the fit to drape a tabard or whatever overtop of it. Not that that isn't a neat look, but it's a look for a knight. Katherine is not that. She will not take the title from her Servant, or blur the line that Berserker has been using to stay comfortable. That one over there might have a jetpack (!) but what could you possibly accessorize with that? Toss anything over the top and not only will you lose the awesome fit of the suit but you'll look like someone tried to inflate you, making you big and round. So given rule number three, the right kind of space armor for Kat is something tight fitting with well articulated ceramics. And cute boots, of course (of course!).

RULE NUMBER THREE!! You! :Clap: Have :Clap: To! :Clap: Have! :Clap: A! :Clap: Skirt! :Clap: How are you supposed to fight a battle without being pretty?? Huh??? Did you think about that?! How are you supposed to be pretty without a skirt?? It can't be d-- ok well it can. Obviously it can. But it's also a verifiable fact that the edgier or more warlike the rest of your outfit gets, the cuter you can make the whole thing by adding a girly flare around the legs. And it's just as verifiable of a fact that you need to feel good about yourself to get a good performance out of yourself, especially when you're not-so-secretly exhausted and kind of just running on adrenaline and ice cream cake? And finally not that it matters or is at all surprising, but Katherine Isabella Fluffybiscuits is a girly girl's girly girl, through and through. So again. Rule number three.

That all adds up to a beautiful white armored suit with matching helmet and clear visor, so that her shining eyes keep shining for everyone to see. She puts a kind of retro-future black leather jacket over the top of it with a matching, tight fitting t-shirt that covers up to the top of her thighs and almost doubles as a dress in and of itself. She spends a bit of time fidgeting with all the straps and belts and buckles on the jacket until they're all tightened to her satisfaction, and then she works her skirt on while humming the chorus from her old (rip) ringtone.

In her humble opinion, this skirt is a masterpiece. It's shorter in the front than it is in the back, so it doesn't obstruct her movement too much while trailing out behind her in dark blue and gold trimmed silks that pool like a third, glorious tail behind her feet. Or maybe like feathers. Or like...

It's a simple enough thing. All bold but solid colors in soft and flowing fabrics without any intricate patterns woven into them. The trim is only around the hem and the trail, and is itself just a clean line of gold that makes her feel that little bit fancier about herself. The effect is really in the cut, and the fabric itself. Because when she moves, it flows like water. Constant rippling, wavering, almost but not quite the impression that a school of fish should be wrapping around her legs like a favorite pet. She should be dripping, reaching for a towel and some sunglasses, and yet. Again, again, again. She turns and grind, and the waterfall crashes down behind her. Up, and splash! Back down, until it settles like a bubbling creek behind her again.

She ties a belt around her waist with a throng to hold a sword. She of course has no weapon to call her own right now, but Berserker puts her own in its place. She looks at herself in the provided mirror and gasps with unrestrained awe. If there was such a thing as a Space Princess, surely this is what she'd look like. Or want to, if she didn't.

Her body might be made of aches. Her brain might still be one setback away from a meltdown. But her heart? That's as full as it's ever been. There's a warmth inside of her that the cold logic of a machine or the crushing hunger of space can't possibly extinguish. It doesn't occur to her to ask if this is ok. This one time, she's sure, it is. She doesn't worry about how she's going to pay for this. If it comes to debt she'll just do summer jobs until everybody's happy. It's not like she has any wallets of her own to just give back. Sure, she tried stealing one that one time, but she felt so guilty after the heist that she put it right back before its own even knew it was missing. Everything else had all been for Cy's sake. Or for--

Well. Don't tell anyone she said this, but... she's been a really bad girl, hasn't she? The world wouldn't be doomed right now if it wasn't for her. And maybe... maybe there isn't any coming back from this. So maybe... it doesn't matter how this money gets spent. It's one last little bit of foxgirl mischief before the final confrontation, in an arena she doesn't even know the way back from. Do space elevators even go down? She has no idea.

But right now, none of that. Right now is about hugs. It's about saying thank you to every last one of her friends. To all of the special people who were part of her first solo adventure, who were here with her right now in her hour of utmost need. She casts a little smile down at the earth where all the other special people still were, the ones who were with her in her heart but hadn't been able to make it in time.

She'll... she'll see you soon, guys. She promises. Thank you. Thank you all so much.

Actia has dressed herself with the precision of a fox who has for years nursed a secret fashion scrapbook in preparation for this moment. Black-blue armour offset with glowing neon blue lights at each joint, sculpted and light around the torso while all weight is pushed towards the extremities of hands and feet. It gives her an eerie, slender vibe, centered around the adapted golden motorcycle helmet visor. A sleeveless grey-brown leather jacket further draws attention to the sleek shape of her body.

Cyanis has gone in the opposite direction - she has chosen for herself a battlemech. She sits cross-legged in a glowing blue energy bubble that forms the mech's entire torso, slouched backwards with a gaming console in her hands. Attached to the exterior of the piloting bubble are the mech's arms and legs, large industrial things heavy with weaponry, thrusters and utility devices. It's only a little taller than Actia's design, but far larger and heavier - white paint, slashed through with cyan hazard stripes.

Opalis has chosen something stranger - a glowing cloud of blue-pink energy, somewhere between liquid, gas and solid. She wraps it around her neck and muzzle like a scarf, and then when she moves it lingers in the air for a second before elastically snapping back with a shock of plasmatic energy. Shield, sword, propulsion, scarf and cloak all in one cosmic bundle - and it goes very nicely with her scales.

Diaofei has reluctantly conceded to the necessity of a spacesuit and has accepted the default model, but she has changed so that her monk robes are now on the outside of the suit. It feels a little like a parable about grasping to nongrasping.

Berserker - well, she's still a Berserker at the end of the day. She has collected all of the unused space dresses and built a mobile battle platform out of them. It's a katamari ball of carbon nanofiber fabric, laser swords, lace and space-to-space missiles and it's genuinely kind of intimidating.

But of course, the star of the space dress transformation sequence is and always was going to be the one, the only, the idol of the entire world...

"Hey piggies! Are you excited for my re-debut? Thaaaaaaaat's right! Coming to you live from anywhere that's not that goddamn basement anymore, it's your shining savior of pop, voted number one dragon in your hearts, the beautiful, adorable, celestial IDOL of everyone's dreams, Elizabeth Bathory~"

Pink sparkles and glittering spotlights are something she can conjure anywhere and at any time. Rapturous applause is not; that's half the reason for her rivalry with the tone deaf Empress. She can glare at a handful of foxes until they break into a smattering of polite clapping but that just isn't the same. Which is why it's so important that she be broadcasting right now! How's a girl supposed to build a worldwide fanbase if all she does is quiet acts of invisible heroism?

Pointless! Stupid! But luckily...

"That's right, scream for me my lovelies! I'll have you lapping at my boots before you know it ♥! These cute little girls and I just need to save oooooone little world first! So hold on tight and don't you dare look away! Because I will be checking later!"

Now there is simply getting dressed, and there is getting dressed in a way that is worthy of a Number One Idol. The difference mostly bakes down into whether or not you get a magical girl transformation sequence. As befits her station and her experience, the air around Elizabeth turns iridescent, and her body starts to glow.

Sparkle! Sparkle! First come the boots: big chonkers in a very pretty matte black that rise up to her knees, with white laces crisscrossing back down the length of them and a wide but pleasantly feminine heel. Is she wearing socks under there? Wouldn't you like to know, you pervert. Bet you think about dragon girl feet a lot. Well then you can go watch the other stream where they cover that.

Anyway, glitter! Glitz! The next step in the outfit is an uneven leotard in gorgeous royal purple accented with golden markings in diamonds and scale patterns. It has one sleeve (on her left arm) which cuts off at the wrist and features a diamond-shaped cutout around her perfect tummy, as well as a heart-shaped one above her demure and even more perfect chest. Her modesty is preserved by a black bralette that manages to convey a sense of showing off even more. Cute! Elegant! Daring! That's what makes her the best.

Kirakira! Moon dragon magic! Skirts settle overtop of her oh-so-glamorous hips: one of them a short frilly white number descending only to the top of her left thigh and the other an elegant black number that settles past her boots, with a length of white silk flowing from underneath it that reaches to nearly the ground. The two halves of these two different skirts join at the middle in tasteful asymmetry that shows and flows with equal verve.

Uh... shimmer! Shine! What's this outfit missing? Well of course it's a high-crop leather biker girl's jacket, dotted across the shoulders and chest with metal studs in patterns reminiscent of her leotard. It's cut so high up that it covers essentially nothing below the top of her ribs, serving really as more of an extra set of sleeves and a vehicle for her to carry a series of dangling straps with shining metal buckles fanning out behind her back, giving her the impression that she is a moment away from sprouting wings on a whim.

Gleam! Glow! A pair of deep purple ribbons pull a few small shocks of her into twin-tails that sit flush and fall down from her elegant horns. A single shock of white splashes through her still-pinker-than-pink bangs to sell the idol rocker look extra super mega hard, like you have no idea. Slip silver bangles under her sleeves and wrap a chain belt around her waist to show off a little bit extra.

Of course, we are still going to space. As a Servant and a Dragon and an Idol her relationship to the upper atmosphere is a bit unusual compared with the company she now finds herself keeping, but a girl does need air to sing. Which is why a black mask fitted with very tastefully sewn in speakers clips overtop of her mouth and nose, hiding her jaw but adding to the wonder and mystery of her expression. Oh, is she smiling right now? Is she smirking like she thinks I'm trash? She could be! Oh I hope she is, kyaaaaa! And so on. That's my impression of you by the way, you foot enjoying weirdo. We're not talking about socks! We've moved past this!

Into finisher poses! Legs apart! One hand on hips! Second hand flashing sideways peace sign over eye! Tail raised behind her for maximum impact! Heavy Metal... Infused Pop Princess Space Idol Elizabeth SUNSHARDS is on the scene!

"By the way now that it's come to this I'm expecting big things from you, my cutie fanclub president. Don't go disappointing me. And don't show me up, either! I don't bust out the wardrobe changes just to play backup vocals to a bunch of foxes. Make me look good and we'll all go home happy, got it?"

But Kat only smiles, which is clear because of how much her eyes are glittering at the sights she has borne witness to. She sidles up close and wraps her arms around the dragon idol of everyone's dreams in a big old Fluffybiscuits hug.

"Thanks for bein' here and helpin'. It's nice to make a new friend right at the end."

Lucky, space masks prevent all the signs of blushing from showing on Elly's perfect face. What the heck? What are you supposed to do against something this... sweetie? She really is a Fluffybiscuits...

The dress showcase doors close. Uptempo elevator music starts to play. And it's a downer.

Music goes places, right? The song is a journey, it rises and falls and repeats and ends on a different chord than it started. Music is life, progressing through stages, the twist and flourish of the songwriter along the way. This music does not have any of that - it is the same basic audio loop over and over, but as it goes it adds more and more instruments. It becomes louder without changing what it is, communicating the aesthetic of progress while never moving, emitting cool sciencey beaker sounds while wasting your time, having a unifying kumbaya chant of human voices - none of whom consented to this or were compensated for their inclusion.

It's terrible music to go to space to. You might as well be going to the mall. And, much like going to the mall, you are also being swarmed by three to five thousand robot combat drones, descending in a cloud from the vast wicked satellite far overhead and latching onto the elevator as it rises.

They don't destroy it, though - they don't cut the cord or sabotage the railing. That would be the worst sin of all: property damage. No, they are simply entering the elevator one at a time through the various access hatches, charging scorcher beams to kill the people inside. And worst of all, all the time you're fighting them you're being tricked into repetitive bops and weaves by music that you keep expecting to pop off that never actually does.

So here is a fun fact about foxes! They are not natural sword geniuses! They're not even fighters, really. A fox more or less lives her entire life in a constant state of avoiding trouble in every way, shape, and form. And sword duels, while romantic, are dangerously close to manual labor. Which, eugh? Ew? Gross.

Although, there certainly are exceptions. There are a lot of foxgirls in the world, after all, and some of them are bound to fall in love with the blade. But foxes with 5 or more tails are quite a rarity for this crab bucket of a species, and it does take a fox with rather a lot of accumulated power and wealth before they start finding ways to become personally skilled at something without it coming too close to methods that offend their sensibilities. And even then they'd mostly rather be manipulators, advisors, and charmers.

Actia has all the power and poise to make an exception of herself. But she is not. She is, fortunately, something of a wizard though. And her chosen element (lightning) happens to be extra effective against Adam's chosen element (robots). The unfortunate downside is that it is also very effective against the element of space elevator, but part of being a wizard is knowing how to control herself. It just isn't very fun, and the music makes it worse.

Cyanis is the most typically typical (read: most specialest and bestful) fox who has ever foxed a fox. Even after participating in a war of ancient heroes for the fate of the planet she has never lifted a finger in her own name, nor has she experienced hardship beyond getting spanked after she got caught on a scheme slightly too big for her to swallow. She is supremely unbothered by the music of this particular battle because she cannot hear it at all underneath all of this excellent screaming she is doing. But it's a big sister's duty to help a little sister shine, which is why she is bravely hiding behind one Katherine Isabella Fluffybiscuits (Esquire).

Now, Kat? Kat is not a powerful foxgirl. Much has already been made of the fact that she is a failure among her kind, possibly owing to the unusual nature of her awakening and possibly owing to the unusual nature of her upbringing. Or both! Or neither. Maybe she's just kind of a loser? It's hard to say. But the plain fact of the matter is that she's the one who watched Yue across her own journey as a swordsmaiden, so she's been closer than any fox in history to both the first amateur slashes and the blade dance of a true master. It wasn't entirely bad logic that made Actia send her up against that helicopter all the way back at the beginning of this story. Perhaps alone among foxes, Katherine doesn't really mind getting her hands dirty. Perhaps alone among foxes, she's happy to get sweaty in the pursuit of a goal. Especially if it means she'll get rewarded with spa time after. But the end result of it all is that she is, perhaps more than any foxgirl in history, suited to the role of melee combatant. She will never be praised for this. It will never earn her so much as a single extra tail. But it's still special, y'know?

There's a problem, though.

See, Yue did not gain her skills in a week. Or a month. Or a season. It took endless hours of hard, sweaty work and the help of many of the world's greatest martial artists to shape her into the woman Kat idolized and chased after. And it's not that Kat didn't train at all during this whole sunshard war thing! But this adventure hasn't taken the same kind of time that that other one did. And a lot of the equivalent time that Yue spent going over forms and sparring and running in the shape of a wolf, Kat spent playing video games. Her talent is all and only in raw determination, and the fact that she was (however briefly) kissed by Qiu's sunshard at the start of everything.

And the further up they travel, the less that helps. The longer this goes on, the more the fact that she's tired and hurty overtakes the technique that living with Berserker and a handful of life or death fights have drilled into her. She's dressed well and she's determined as all get out, but left to fend for herself for the first time in forever? It's all she can do to bravely dodge roll out of the way of lasers and hope her weapon doesn't go flying out of her hands. She's already lost three (3) katanas along the way, y'know. With Berserker needing her sword back (as sad as it is, you can't make castles out of space elevators), she's down to a flimsy little poker and it needs timing and a shining heart to make it work and she just! Can't! Stop! Getting! Juked! By! This! Stupid! Music!

"Yeah ok," says Elizabeth Bathory, who has been quietly watching a party of heroes do their uninspired best to defend themselves, "I've had enough of this."

This is lame. This is stupid. This is the most impossibly weak ass way to go out in the history of ever. What, all those centuries of fighting demons where nobody even showed up to her concerts just to get shot to death with lasers right after the costume change! And to this backing track?! Nuh uh, no way! Rejected! Absolutely rejected.

Liz half stomps, half sways, and half dances her way over to a combat drone that is less than half a second away from putting a laser beam through the back of Actia's head and snatches it out of the air.

"This?" she trills, tracing a pink clawed finger around its camera port, "This is mine."

She presses her finger deep inside of it, and a curious thing happens. It does not shatter, or melt (though she does ruin the camera). It does not self destruct or turn on her and blast her into pieces. Instead, it... agrees? Despite having no domain over military equipment, no hacking experience, and really no technical expertise whatsoever, Elizabeth Bathory commandeers a sophisticated piece of death machinery and turns it into a pet. She repeats the process with five others, which float behind her like a little halo.

"Ok pets, now reprogram that sound system for me~"

I really must take the time to emphasize here that these are instruments of battle. They do not have multi-purpose programming and should, by rights, have zero ability to do what she has commanded them to. None of this makes any sense. It's like asking your refrigerator to disarm a bomb.

And, uh. And yet. Yeah. Yeah no, yeah. The music just changed. No yeah no, that's an instrumental lead up to a magical idol number. That's--

"That's my ringtone! That's my ringtone, guys!!!"

Sure. Ok. Thank you, Kat.

"Didn't I tell you not to disappoint me?" the Magical Hacker (?) Hero-Idol Elly says through a smirk, "What you losers need is motivation. Not just any idiot gets to be my fanclub president, you know. Now get out there and earn it! If you make me regret shaming myself with covers I'll kill you myself★"

Who said this is where it ends?
Only you can decide when this is over

There's two miracles happening here. The first is that this all sounds... nice? Not just as a break from the janky corpo nonsense noise, but really and actually beautiful. No bleeding ears, no sonic screeching, no weaponized high notes. Bereft of the, uh... enthusiasm? For her own original pieces, Liz croons sweetly and perfectly in key. I mean, of course she does! Did you really think she wouldn't be great at this? There's a fan on the line! And this time no cheaty stupid dumbface tail chormping losers are going to eat them before she sells merch!

Thrust ahead, blind to your weakness (If you run away)
From now on, becoming stronger is impossible
Whispers a presence from within

The other miracle? You guessed it already, you big genius you. The ability to fight was inside Katherine all along! Sunshard attunement and Mimic Techniques and blah blah blah blah blah. So what that she's not the best? So what if she hasn't practiced enough? So what if other foxes don't respect her? I do! You do! She's certainly learned enough to handle something like this!

Her sword might not be enough, and her grip is far from expert. She might be tired. Burned out. And about to destroy her weapon tearing through this swarm of evil death bots. But you know what? Once upon a time, she was a whole army! All by herself! The entire city of Ys trembled the day that she showed up!

And so, her beautiful battledress-spacesuit dances. She passes along the length of the elevator with a trail of shimmering blue like a river rapid with triangles and two fluffy green tails. Her little blade sings in time with her favoritest favorite song, and her heart lights up with the determination that only an idol can foster in a young girl's heart.

And by goshies? They are making it to space!

One by one your allies leave you.

Diaofei is the first to go. She is in the thick of the fighting, surrounded by robots on all sides, a whirlwind of punches and kicks and then she's got a ladder whoa shit where did that come from, what kind of cool kung fu can you do with a ladder? And just as she finishes her combo it breaks and instead she's swinging with a fire extinguisher, and then she's using the fire extinguisher to perform incredible low-gravity maneuvers during elevator stall moments, and then she's got a gun and oh my god she's shooting the gun

Actia falls backwards, flumphing onto her enormous cushiony tails, eyes so wide they're visible outside her cool space sunglassers, sweat running down her face. An invisible robot collapses down behind her. Her eyes are fixed on the pistol - the partner of the one she used before to shoot everybody's phones, half of a heart engraved upon it.

Diaofei smiles once - and is then pulled down out through the door by a swarm of machines, throwing her down the impossible distances of the space elevator shaft.

Opalis is next. It's her decision - she's going to rescue the fragile wingless human. She has chosen her weapon wisely - she is no more a martial artist than any of the foxgirls, but she's played enough Ribbonball to be able to direct an object reliably with wings, tail, and core muscles. She leaps and twists and dribbles and scrambles across the roof and finds every opening in the enemy lines, the swathe of her scarf leaving heaps of machines burnt out by cosmic fire in her path. In the final stretch she breathes out a hurricane of zero point ice, smashes through frozen machines, leaps out through the doorway, double flips off the space station, and then plunges straight down.

Berserker's downfall is inevitable. Once the momentum turned and the interior was momentarily cleared, she was able to fortify the elevator. A castle ascended into the heavens and all the celestial machines could not stop it; there's actually a chance for a foxgirl to sit and catch her breath and watch the awe inspiring sight of the King of Fortifications defending a position. She's beautiful, she's skillful, she's unbreakable, and the second the elevator passes the orbital factory where all of Adam's combat machines are being assembled she is jumping out of the window before you can say 'quick brown foxgirl'.

You get to watch her stupid armoured body tumbling helmet over tail through low earth orbit, sword drawn, as she gradually makes her way towards the enemy stronghold.

But there's no time to worry about her. You five - Actia, Cyanis, Katherine, Avenger and Magical Hacker Hero-Idol Elly - are almost to the top. There, an enormous orbital space laser is firing a column of spectacular blue light into the Vault, burning through layers and layers of neosteel and hexagrammatic wards. Whatever monstrosity within is almost free.

It's so hard not to cry in the face of sacrifice. It's more than just that someone might give up something for your sake (or for some shared cause between you, I guess), and it's more than just having to watch 'em go. It's something bigger than regret, something bigger than sorrow, something bigger than gratitude, and bigger than even love. It's bigger than each of those things because it's all of them at once plus a little extra. If I had to compress the feeling down into a single word for you, it'd be 'A Lot'. Which is two words, so I think that kinda proves what I'm talking about here.

The point is, when Kat saw Diaofei fall it took her everything not to jump right after her and try to... what would she even do? Swim back up? She never learned! And she was so busy fighting robots that all she had time for was a gasp and a little 'no!' before her sword arm was needed again, and it was just... such a relief to see Opalis go diving after her. Good. That's really good. Neither of them were gonna die, then. 'Cause dragons could do anything if they wanted to. Even the really silly ones.

"Rather than looking for an escape, find the courage to live anew..."

Liz is still singing Kat's song. And with every member of the Elevator Crew who drops, she swings brighter and more sweetly than before, as if she was determined to make up the difference somehow. Or maybe she just smelled opportunity in the thin space air (like, there's still a little bit up here, right?) to shoot up the importance rankings and take all the credit that everybody else left behind. In this way, the difference between a foxgirl and a dragongirl was paper thin. But in any case, she's singing. And for Kat? That's the difference between being able to keep fighting and not.

"An impulse, for now that's all
Let's begin, no more delay"

Oh, but when Berserker dives, it's heartbreaking. Kat forgets that fighting is still a thing that needs doing, and she's only saved by the castle walls and the timely intervention of a pretty pink dragon tail from the cost of stretching out her free arm instead of swinging the one with a weapon in it. As if she could catch her Servant and stop her. As if she could will another Command Seal onto her hand and somehow make all of this stop. But she can't. And she wouldn't, besides. She's got too much respect for her partner to tell her she knows best at this point. And besides, someone did need to deal with that factory, or there'd be no end to the fighting.

"With all the traces we've built up
The budding prints leave their marks
One by one toward the future"

But it's so hard not to cry. It takes her very soul just to stay strong. Because... well, because. She knew, right? She knew the whole time that this ghost of an ancient warrior wasn't going to be with her forever. Like, even if she'd fought in the Sunshard War and won the whole thing, they'd have had to say goodbye eventually. Things would go back to normal. 'Cause all journeys end up back in your little house with your little family sooner or later, and Berserker wasn't a woman who could fit herself in a place like that. She wasn't even gonna wish for incarnation in the first place, Kat knew that better than anyone.

So she knew. She definitely knew she'd haveta say goodbye. But knowing that you'll need to at some point is a very different feeling from knowing that it's come to it right now. 'Cause sure as she knows that Berserker had to jump, she knows there won't be any coming back from that choice. Not even in victory. So 'some day' turned to 'right now', and then 'right now' didn't give her a chance to say any of the stuff that she'd planned on, to make it easier. No time for thank you, no time for sorry, no time for 'you were the best', no time to smile, no time to laugh, no time to scramble to ask her mom (hehehe) to make a cup of tea real quick to see her off. Nothing but a surprised yelp and the sight of a hero falling slowly, framed by the window in a castle wall that really only for the first time managed to be something beautiful instead of brutal.

"Should the end of the world come
You and I are together one."

Katherine Isabella Fluffybiscuits continues her journey upwards from within a glittering space castle. She spares a glance downward, and for the first time in her life she sees the ring of broken glass surrounding her planet that used to be nine other suns from above, instead of below. For the first time, she doesn't need the sunset to see them glittering. And it's so beautiful. The gleam. That private aurora that was just for everyone brave enough not to run away. She couldn't ask for a prettier battlefield. She couldn't give Berserker a sweeter place to part from her. No surer sign that the both of them were heroes. There was no need to pretend at being knights and princesses... the woman she sees lit up by the First Princess' halo is surely a queen.

And she does not cry. And it's the hardest thing she's ever not done in her entire life. She stands up, instead. She fights, because the castle still stands tall and she can't let the rest of these stupid machines tear it down. And while she fights, she watches. She watches her home down below, in all of its incredible majesty. She watches her partner disappear into the enemy fortress and just barely remembers to raise what's left of her blade up in a salute. And she watches the vault climb steadily closer. She watches the laser array blasting away at it.

And she knows, without even needing to do math, that she isn't going to make it in time.

"Haaaaaaaaa, what a drag." says Elizabeth Bathory, still stubbornly playing the music in spite of everything.

"No! I'm not giving up! We... we all came this far! It can't have been for nothing, it just can't!"

She doesn't cry. She doesn't cry. She doesn't cry. Oh, Kat. My brave little flooferdoodle...

"Actia! You've got a plan, right? A spell? How do we make this thing go faster?"

"The nature of an elevator is that it only has the one speed, Katherine." Actia's gaze is locked down, not up. She follows the trail of a glittering ribbon with her fist clenched tight, "This really is the most that I can do."

"Wh- but! But we! C-Cy?"

"Whaddya want me to do? Shake my tails at it? You think I'm carrying Princess Qiu around in my pocket or something? I don't even wanna be getting closer to it in the first place! It's against my contract for one thing! And for another if I could solve this problem by being cute at it we'd be done already, wouldn't we? You're the one who's always talking about being a hero like that frizzy-fluffled busybody! What's your plan?"

Katherine Isabella Fluffybiscuits does not cry. She does look at the blunted, mangled remains of her little sword and throw it as hard as she can at the orbital laser array, because it's the best she's got left. The music shifts when she does it, but she's too busy to notice. She does not give up, and she does not cry. Even when her weapon disappears without anything happening besides more of the Vault door breaking down, she doesn't cry. Because she's the bravest girl there is.

"Just like the sun (Everything is)
I must shine (Illuminated by me)
Call it Sadness, Eternity, Popularity, I just want to make sure
If I love you? You love me more!!"

Which is maybe why Elizabeth Bathory breaks several of her rules all at once and wraps her up in a big pink hug.

"That thing really is an eyesore, isn't it?"

"...Elly?"

Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. Not her too! That tone of voice, that wistful look! Not you too, Magical Hacker Hero Idol Elizabeth Bathory! Don't you do it! Don't you start saying goodbye too! That's not fair, you've only even just said hello!

But her pinker than pink painted lips curl upwards in a smile that's about three quarters a smirk and one quarter surprise at feeling genuinely touched, and the true magic of an idol is that everybody can read the whole thing even through that opaque mask on her face. No secrets between an idol and her fanclub president. Well, 'til the next interview drops in any case.

"You're pretty pathetic when you get right down to it, aren't you cutie?"

"I, wh-wha?"

"Heh. Don't go getting the wrong idea or anything, I'm not doing this for you. It's just an idol's job to protect smiles. That's all this is."

"Th-then..." Kat's voice chokes in spite of her incredible bravery, "You've got a plan?"

"Psh! Who do you think I am?! I'm the cutest, most beautiful, most charming, perfect best dragon hero I✦D✦O✦L in the world: Elizabeth Bathory! That piece of useless junk's got nothing on me!"

She flashes peace signs and all of her best and cutest poses, and unfurls a pair of massive draconic wings from out of nowhere on her back. One last little pause, to make sure the elevator's got her backing track set up properly. It was pretty rude of her to switch back to her song without telling anyone, y'know?

"You go ahead and sing the fanchant, cutie. It's your whole job to make sure I shine as bright as possible, remember?"

Ah. Well dang it, how'm I supposed to stay mad at her after a line like that? In any case, she's off like a bullet. Or a shining pink laser. Or a hero. Or a princess. Or even a Princess. Her entire body is shining with pink energy, and the trail she cuts through space is something that everybody the whole world over down below can see trailing through the sky even through the light of sunset. So you can add 'comet' to the list of jobs she qualifies for now.

See, here's the thing. When she was summoned, Elly had three entire Command Seals burned on her in an instant. And all of them basically boiled down to the same thing, which is what put her on this elevator full of foxes to begin with: protect that vault. Ignoring that would've cost her pretty much everything she had. But following those orders? Puh-leaze. There is not a single thing in space the Burrowers had ever built that could handle her.

"Like an idol (Because I am)
It's ok if it all falls apart (not alone)
Love, Eternity, Popularity, I just want to make sure
You love, You love me more!!"

And that's the other thing. Even more than those Command Seals, her little song's true now. She's been alone, or pretty close to it, ever since she got summoned. And that happened well over a hundred years ago. But now. But now, but now? There's someone there. Someone's actually cheering for her. And then two someones. And then three. And three's a crowd, don't you know that? Did you think that glow was the light of three command seals? Did you think she needed wings to fly? Idiot! Those are just for show!

An idol does everything she does with love!

Gradually, the laser array pivots off of the vault. Adam has a new, much more terrifying target that he needs to take care of before he can get back to his incredibly important work. For once there's no dismissing the barbarians and the threat they represent. For just one moment, it's all he can do to throw the full force of his purchased might at making this awful, scary dragon... thing go away. The lasers power up and focus on a single point. Their combined might crashes down on the dragon-comet-hero-idol and engulfs her light completely.

"We believe in you, Elizabeth!"
"They'd better give me so many wallets for this I'll need a cart just to- oh! Sorry! Yeah, go Elly! And stuff! Woo~!"
"You can do it, Elly!"

"OF! COURSE! I! CAN!!!"

Her mic stand is her spear. Her voice is her power. And her love is still more powerful than either of 'em. Elizabeth Bathory crashes through the full power of that laser as if it were nothing more than harmless light. In fact, so much the better that it's all shining on her. What's this other than the biggest spotlight of her entire life?

A small, pink bullet crashes into a massive laser platform, and an entire world sees it happen. At first it's quiet. And then the explosions come, silent bursts of pure light in so many colors it's like fireworks. The most perfect, the most wonderful, the most incredible display of starbursts and flowers anyone has ever seen in all their lives.

She's still sparkling when she falls. And it's so beautiful that it takes even the closest observers need a minute to realize that her whole outfit is tastefully torn to shreds. That her wings are floppy, useless ribbons. And that her hair is a horrid mess. Her eyes shine wet from something that can only be happiness. And Elizabeth Bathory tears off her mask as she falls, first level with and then beneath the castle elevator.

Idol magic or no, it would be a crime if nobody could see how radiant her last smile is.

"Ahhhhhh, this was so much fun. I'm so glad I got summoned. I'm so glad I got to be an Extra Class this time. Be...cause. I finally got... to be... somebody's..."

Hero.