[IC] Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

[sukikyoufu]

“Yeah…” Iris muttered to herself at the mention of one more ally, it was something at least and she knew she could rely on her friend to not give them up. Frowning slightly, she could have sworn she had heard a hint of jealousy? No that’s my imagination. Although she couldn’t stop the warm feeling in her heart at the idea, he was jealous. Maybe there was still something there? Maybe? No. He is going to be a King, I’m a rebel. I’d never be worthy of him. His father would rather me dead I’m sure. Trying to stop herself from getting too excited at the idea there was still something there between them.

“That’s the quickest way back to the Capital. Unless you’re up for some hiking in the woods we will have to wait.” Iris sighed trying to think on another plan, desperately hoping that the rebels had not spotted them. “Him? Oh no, it’s a she. Maisie.” Iris smiled slightly clearing up the fact it was a girl and not a boy, hope rising up on the idea there could be something. No. Stop it. “But… that’s not a bad idea. She might be able to help us.” Whether or not she could Iris knew that she’d at least be able to give them more food and cleaner water than the river.

“It’s worth a shot. Come on, if I remember correctly her house shouldn’t be too far.” Glancing back towards the gate she could see Ethan in the distance, and it looked as if he was shouting at someone, perhaps the rebels at losing Cas? She didn’t know, but she didn’t care. Right now, they had more important things to be doing. As they were in the housing district, she was sure it wouldn’t take too long to find her house, she hoped she wasn’t working today she couldn’t think of what day it was anymore and she didn’t know what her schedule was.

Continuing to walk it took around twenty minutes until she finally reached a run down looking housing complex, it clearly housed a lot of the district and although it looked run down it wasn’t as bad as some of the areas they had passed. Pushing open the main door she knew it never locked, they may have had buzzers to allow people inside, but they never worked. It was all for show. Moving inside holding the door for Cas she headed towards the stairs, carpet was pulling away at the wood and there was a damp smell in the air but otherwise it seemed okay.

Climbing around three sets of stairs she reached a door with a number placed on it, a little mailbox with the name Howard on the outside and she knew she had made it. Maisie Howard, her beloved friend. Knocking on the door she waited for a few minutes to see if anyone was inside, she could har shuffling on the other end of the door and she felt the relief because finally something was going right for her.

“Who is it?”

“Hey… Maisie. It’s me.”

The door flung open and Maisie wrapped her arms around Iris hugging her as she realised it was her friend. The girl in question was short with medium length brown hair tied in a ponytail aqnd bright brown eyes. “Oh… I was so worried. What the hell happened?” Pulling back Maisie glanced at her friend and frowned seeing her cheek, “Who did that?”

“It doesn’t matter. Can you help us?” Iris glanced behind her making sure Casain was still there and that no one had followed them here.

[Rogue Sloth]

“Oh,” Cas said as casually as he could to hide his relief. He hated that even after everything he’d been through, he still couldn’t stop himself from looking at Iris like more than a friend. Or even a friend for that matter. Over the past few days, it had been easier for him to keep his distance from her because he’d been preoccupied with trying to escape and he’d thought she had been on board with the other rebels’ plan to kill him. Now that he’d gotten away from Regis, and she’d been the one to sneak him out, it was much harder for him to keep his mind from wandering to places he didn’t want it to go anymore. Even if she was helping him, she was still part of the Scourge, and that meant they couldn’t be more than allies for a short time before he returned to the capital. He continued to remind himself of that as she led the way to meet her friend who most definitely was not a man.

After nearly running into Ethan, the prince was on high alert for other rebels in the area. He didn’t know most of their identities, but at the very least, he could keep watch for Iris’s father. Regis was probably furious that he’d escaped, and he dreaded to think what would happen if the rebel leader caught him again. The older man had a propensity for torturing his prisoners—the ache in his arm and abdominals was an incessant reminder of that—and that was before he’d actually managed to get out of the basement. If he ended up there again, he was sure he would suffer from far worse than just a stab wound and bad bruises. So, he continued to keep his head down while they walked, hoping that they wouldn’t encounter any more of Regis’s henchmen before they made it to Maisie.

Luckily, the trip was uneventful. When they reached the complex, he glanced up from beneath his hood and frowned at the sight of the closed door that barred their way. In the capital, every apartment building was secured with a coded access, and no one could get inside unless they had been registered as residents with the landlord. The only exceptions were members of the royal family and high-ranking soldiers, who all had access to every building in the city. So, when Iris opened the door without entering any information or swiping a card, he stared at her in surprise. A broken lock was a major security issue, and it astounded him that no one had come along to fix the faulty wiring. Anyone could get inside and conduct all sorts of criminal activity without the local law enforcement ever knowing. It was good news for them, since they were technically breaking and entering, but he still found it shocking that security was so lax.

Getting tired from the long walk, Cas had some trouble keeping up with Iris as they headed inside and marched up three flights of stairs. He wrinkled his nose at the mildew odor that permeated the building. Everything around them was clearly old, and he hoped there wasn’t asbestos in the walls. Even though there were full proof treatments for cancer, it was still an inconvenient disease to contract. He already knew he was going to have to pay a visit to Dr. Emett to be treated for his surface injuries, and he didn’t want to have to take preventative measures against lung cancer because he was exposed to carcinogenic material as well.

Paranoid about the possibility, he breathed shallower than usual and ended up out of breath by the time they reached the top of the stairs.

Trailing along behind Iris, he looked over the doors that lined the hallway. Chipping paint and peeling carpets were the aesthetic in this building. He felt his stomach twist as he wondered again if the rest of Aspiria really was this poor. It was hard to believe, but at the same time, he was standing in a crumbling apartment, surrounded by hard evidence that their people were being neglected. Uncomfortable with the revelation, he turned to watch Iris as she knocked on one of the doors and a girl around her own age appeared and threw her arms around her in an embrace.

While they spoke, he shifted his weight, suddenly acutely aware of the state he was in. His father had drilled into him from a young age that first impressions were everything, and right now, he looked more like a homeless person than the kingdom’s crown prince. Rationally, he knew it was acceptable given everything he’d been through, but he still hung back somewhat awkwardly, embarrassed by his bedraggled appearance when he was supposed to look like someone the Aspirian people could respect.

[sukikyoufu]

Maisie urged them inside closing the door and bolting it shut behind her just in case, her home was modest. It had a kitchen attached to the living room, a separate room for the bedroom and one final one for the bathroom. There were items inside the house the usual like a sofa, table and even a worn old TV but everything looked second hand. Everything was old, worn and clearly not brand new or even remotely luxurious. The house itself was rather brightly coloured, something Maisie had done to make it feel less dingy and damp than it really was. “Iris… Ethan is furious with you. I honestly think he will kill you if he finds you.”

“That’s the problem, he’s at the gate. We can’t get past.” Iris sighed as she moved inside, “I’m sorry to ask this. I didn’t want to get you involved.”

“Don’t apologise, I’ve always got your back okay? What I think is best for the both of you is proper rest in the somewhat warmth with food and drink. We can come up with a plan to get you past that gate.” Maisie smiled as glanced between Iris and the somewhat homeless looking Prince that was with her. “Look, you go have a shower. Clean yourself you are both a state and don’t exactly smell fresh either. I’ll get some food and water in this friend of yours; I think I have some more painkillers then he can shower.” Brown eyes glanced over at the Prince as if assessing on his capability right now.

“No, he can go first.” Iris sighed looking over at Cas, her eyes disobeying her true feelings for him as she felt the care for him, but it was soon washed over with guilt.

“Iris, he needs to rest. I don’t think he could stand in a shower yet. You go first. He can sit and eat and regain some strength before taking his turn.”

“But…”

“Iris.” Maisie frowned speaking a bit sterner as she pushed the girl towards the bathroom, “Go. I’ll get towels, clothes. I’m sure I have some spare that your friend can borrow. It will be fine. I don’t bite~”

Sighing heavily as she felt her friend force her to the bathroom, she slowly nodded knowing it was best, it would mean Cas could take a little rest before grabbing a shower himself and cleaning himself up. The river wasn’t the best for him this morning, but it had done in a pinch. At least there would be hot water here, well warm but not cold. “Fine… I won’t be long. Just… be nice to him. Please.”

Rolling her eyes Maisie moved to the heating cupboard grabbing fresh towels before throwing them at her friend, “Just go.” Happy that her friend was finally looking after herself she turned to Caspain with a smile. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you. How about some food and drink?” Not even giving him time to answer she moved towards the kitchen and began rummaging through her cupboards to cook something up for them. “So, what do you fancy? I’ve got rice, bread… ohhh pie. I could make some pie.”

[Rogue Sloth]

At Maisie’s prompting, Cas followed Iris through the door and took a look around the small home. Like the Nox-Fleurets’ house, it wasn’t anything spectacular. Most of the space was mashed into one multipurpose room, the design of which was considered outdated in the capital. High borns often invested a portion of their annual incomes in remodeling to keep up with the latest interior design trends. He didn’t expect commoners to do the same though. Installing new flooring and countertops once a year was a luxury exclusive to the richest of the rich. In a way, Maisie’s apartment had its own charm because it was uniquely quaint.

He ambled over to the sofa and veritably collapsed onto it, worn out from the walking they had been doing that morning. Objectively, they hadn’t really traveled that far, but since his body was expending energy to recover from his collective injuries, it felt to him like they’d been hiking through the city all day. He had only just started making himself comfortable when Maisie’s comment made him stiffen guiltily. Immune to his own odor, he hadn’t even thought about the fact that he and Iris didn’t smell very good after they’d spent the night on the run. He was probably even worse off than she was, since he’d preluded the bomb shelter by spending a few days in a basement cell.

Not wanting to ruin their hostess’s furniture, he stood back up and lingered off to the side while the others discussed who would shower first. As he listened to their conversation, he was surprised by Maisie’s observational skills. He was practically swaying on his feet with exhaustion, but he was covered from his neck down to his feet in his hoodie and jeans. None of his wounds were visible aside from the scratch and bruise on his cheeks, yet she had picked up on his discomfort and offered medicine to ease his pain. He glanced at Iris, wondering how much she’d told the other girl before they had arrived.

When it was settled that Iris would shower first, Cas seated himself on the floor in front of the sofa, using the furniture as a backrest instead of soiling the fabric by reclining on it. He was eager to soak under hot water—it would sooth the ache of his bruises—but he was glad that he was going to be showering after her. Maisie had been right when she’d said he couldn’t stand up for much longer. Although he wasn’t used to letting others make decisions for him, he was content with the outcome they’d chosen and took advantage by resting his legs while he could.

At the sound of the girl’s voice, he looked up at her with a mixture of quite gratitude and intrigue. She was quite hospitable, but based on the types of food she offered, he suspected she didn’t have much more food than Iris had in her home. He didn’t want to take much if she couldn’t spare it. “Just… whatever won’t be too much trouble,” he answered, leaning back against the sofa’s edge and resting his hands in his lap. “A glass of water would be lovely too.” During their walk, he’d sipped at the water Iris had given him, but it was hard to swallow, especially after he’d made the connection that she’d gathered it from the river. He couldn’t help but think of all the algae and bacteria swimming in it, and the concern of getting sick had stifled his thirst.

“So, you were friends with Iris before she lost her memory?” he queried in an attempt to fill the silence with small talk. He didn’t want her to think he was rude when she was going through so much trouble to help them. However, he realized belatedly that Iris may not have told Maisie about her amnesia. “I mean, did she—?” he cleared his throat awkwardly, praying that he hadn’t said something he shouldn’t have. In a lower voice, he finished the question: “She did tell you about that, right?”

[sukikyoufu]

“You can sit on the sofa; I was only messing with you about the smell.” Maisie chuckled as she brought him over a glass of water alongside two painkillers. “This is all I have, but it should help the pain.” Placing them on the table beside him she headed back into the kitchen and started to make some food for them, she had opted for a leftover pie. Pie filled with whatever leftovers she could find, but hot food would be best she doubted they had eaten much.

Grimacing she sighed as she went about making a simple pastry with the ingredients she had in the cupboard, “She didn’t tell me. Ethan did, I’m sure you at least know who he is.” Shaking her head at the mention of Ethan it was clear she was not a fan of him, not in the slightest. “We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember, we’ve been through a lot together.” Contemplating on what they had experienced as a due, nothing had separated them. Unless you counted the amnesia. “They don’t like me, perhaps that’s why they didn’t want me seeing her when she returned in hopes she wouldn’t remember me… buuuut you can’t just forget a bond like that.”

You could hear the sound of utensils rummaging around as she happily baked with ease, “We always liked to bake together. Swore we would own our very own bakery.” Laughing at the memory she shook her head, “You don’t need to know that.” Glancing back at the Prince just to make sure he hadn’t bolted, not that she had expected him to move quickly in his state. Finishing up with the pie she placed it in the over before washing her hands, opening up the fridge she grinned pulling out a beer glad she had some left.

Moving over to Cas she put the beer beside him before sitting herself on the sofa looking at him, “There, it’s all I can offer for now.” Crossing her legs, she tapped her fingers against her arm, “I was so worried about her, I still am.” Sighing as she looked at the door to the bathroom the sound of running water could still be heard, “I can see the way she looks at you…”

Feeling the water hit her skin Iris sighed enjoying the feel, sure she hadn’t gone days without a shower, but it was a stress reliever the running water against her skin. Thankful she could at least enjoy a shower before heading back out into the districts trying to get him back to the Capital. Catching sight of her skin she could see the faint fingerprint marks around her wrist, they were fading but still there. Tracing the outline as she looked at those bruises, she felt a knot in her stomach, a darker part of her screaming that she deserved it. That she deserved to be hurt for everything she had done, that the pain should be a reminder.

Stop it. STOP IT. Gripping her wet hair as she lowered herself down into a kneeling position trying to distract her thoughts, but they weren’t easy to push back. They were haunting her, reminding her that she deserved what was coming to her for what she had done.

[Rogue Sloth]

Cas flushed when Maisie said she had only been kidding about his smell. Even after falling for the rebels’ tricks, it seemed like he was still gullible enough to take most of the things he heard at face value. He was relieved that she didn’t mind if he sat on her sofa though. The floor wasn’t nearly as comfortable as the plush cushions had been, so he lifted himself back onto the furniture and sank into the it with a sigh of relief. “Thank you,” he murmured as he took the water and pills from her. Popping the latter into his mouth, he took a swig from his glass to swallow them and then chased it with another few gulps. The water she had given him wasn’t purified either, but it was leaps and bounds better than the fishy river water he’d been reluctantly sipping at earlier.

As Maisie went on to answer his question, he set the glass down on the end table and turned toward the kitchen to listen. To his pleasure, it sounded like she wasn’t a fan of Iris’s ex-boyfriend either. He was glad to know that there were others who thought Ethan was a scumbag too. Even though it was petty—if he hadn’t caught feelings for Iris, he wouldn’t have cared who she dated—he felt like he could bond with Maisie over their mutual dislike of the man Iris had been with before.

“It’s fine,” he assured her with an amused smile when she apologized for rambling about her friendship with Iris. The conversation didn’t have much to do with him, but he was just happy to talk to someone who didn’t want to see him dead. Over the last few days, the only people he’d spoken with had been Ethan, who hated him; Regis, who wanted to kill him and turn him into a symbol of the revolution’s success; and Iris, who had treated him kindly, but he still couldn’t get past the baggage of her betrayal in the forest. Maisie was the first person he’d come across outside the capital with whom he felt like he could let down his guard, so he didn’t mind listening to her stories.

When she walked over to sit beside him and pass him a cold beer, his amused smile broadened into a grin. “You’re a saint, Maisie,” he praised as he picked up the can and brought it to his lips. Until now, the only thing he’d had to drink had been water, so the lager was refreshing. He drank a portion of it and set it down on the table, picking up his water to chase it, so he would stay hydrated. However, at her following words, he choked on the beverage.

“The way she… what?” he stammered, prompting her to say it again in case he hadn’t heard her right. What Maisie had just said was what people usually said when talking about someone who was in love with someone else. He knew Iris had insisted that her feelings for him had been real, but he’d found it hard to believe. Or, rather, he hadn’t wanted to believe it, because it would just make it harder for him to let go of his own affection for her. However, hearing her best friend say that she had a way about her when she looked at him made his heart skip a beat. In spite of everything he told himself, the part of him that was a glutton for punishment wanted to be assured that her feelings for him were still there.

But it doesn’t matter because nothing can come from it, he reminded himself again, letting out his breath in a slow exhale as the interest faded from his visage. I have got to stop getting my hopes up. It’s just going to make things more complicated for no good reason.

[sukikyoufu]

“Oh, come on, you heard loud and clear. Don’t play that card with me.” Maisie laughed at the way he had stammered; the way he had choked on the beverage she had given him. “There’s no denying she likes you, she’s never looked at someone like that before. Even with that scumbag.” Winking as she picked up on his reactions to when she spoke about Ethan, but then not many people did get on with that rebel and it fascinated her how Iris had put up with it. Probably her fathers doing.

“I’m no saint, I say it how it is. I am a humble baker from the wonderous… somewhat revolting district twelve.” Grinning as she picked up her own glass of water taking a sip, she kept an eye on the time for the pie as she did not want to burn it. Not when she had guests who would enjoy her cooking. Feeling the smile drop slightly she sighed softly, “But she hurt you right.” There was no denying there had been hurt involved, after all the Prince was here kidnapped and Iris had a part to play in that endeavour.

“Look I’m not stupid, you probably like her too, else you wouldn’t have stammered just then but I want to ask you something. In fact, I want a favour for what I am doing for you right now. Regardless of all these feelings that are no doubt involved.” Maisie spoke boldly as she eyed up the Prince, “Whatever the hell happens, I want your word that you won’t hurt her. That is all I ask in return for what I am doing.” In truth Maisie was not fussed who she liked, even when she had been with Ethan, she dealt with it because it was her friend. There had been plenty of nights when she had picked up the pieces for her friend, but that was something she couldn’t do this time. Not if they were going to be on the run, she wouldn’t always be there, and she wanted to be sure her friend would not get hurt.

“Now, let’s see how that pie is doing.” Smiling as she stood back to her feet, she moved towards the kitchen checking on the pie, glancing at the time wondering just how long Iris was going to be in the shower. Glancing at the pie she checked how the pastry was doing, the room filled with the smell of food cooking covering whatever damp smells there had been. “Not too much longer, I hope you’re hungry. Oh! Speaking of, how was yesterday’s pie? Iris never mentioned if she liked it.”

Get a hold of yourself. Trying to will herself to stop the thoughts she tried to push them aside, continue on like it was nothing. Taking a deep breath she stood herself back up and started to wash the grime and dirt off of her body, she would not cry, she was strong and she could at least spend some time with her friend before she had to go back to the reality of running once more. Stopping the water once she was clean she grabbed a towel to dry herself with, feeling more human now she had showered.

[Rogue Sloth]

When Maisie called him out for his trick, Cas dropped his gaze to his lap, shuffling his feet beneath the table. He liked hearing her call Iris’s ex-boyfriend a scumbag, but he hadn’t wanted her to catch on to his feelings for her. It was his own fault though, he supposed. He’d never been a very good liar. It was hard for him to control his facial expressions, especially when a subject came up that he was passionate about. Unfortunately, Iris was one of those subjects. He’d decided in his head that nothing could happen between them now that he knew she was part of the rebellion, but his heart hadn’t gotten the memo yet. Because of that, his expressions and even the timbre of his voice betrayed him by giving away the lingering desire he had to be with her.

“I had no idea it was like this,” he confessed with an incredulous shake of his head when Maisie spoke about her home district. “I’m still trying to figure out how it’s been kept a secret from everyone in the capital. I think—” he faltered, catching himself before he finished the sentence. He had been about to say that he thought his father had something to do with the cover up, but he couldn’t point fingers at the king in front of someone else. Not only was it high treason, but he didn’t want to start a rumor about his own father when he didn’t know if it was true. Until he had more information, he was going to investigate the mystery quietly on his own. “I’m sorry things have gotten so bad out here,” he said in a murmur instead.

When Maisie asked if Iris had hurt him, Cas nodded wordlessly. He didn’t really feel like going into the details. The memory was still fresh in his head, and he was still working through it to decide where he stood with her. He picked up the beer can again and downed another swig as she confirmed out loud that she knew he had feelings for her friend. He couldn’t deny it even though he wanted to. The heart wasn’t easily tamed, and although it didn’t make any sense, his heart wanted Iris. He just wished it would make smarter decisions as he continued to hammer into himself that a relationship between them wasn’t going to happen.

“I won’t,” he promised, turning back to Maisie with a solemn expression. “At least, not intentionally. I can’t help it if she has feelings for me, but I’m not going to act on them. I’m a high born and a prince. It doesn’t matter that I’m attracted to her because I can’t be with someone so far removed from my station. If I let something happen between us, it would be like taking advantage of her, because we’re going to have to part ways for good when I get back to the capital.” Absently, he thumbed the edge of his drink, stung by his own words even though he knew them to be the truth. “So, you don’t have to worry. I care about her too much to put her through that.”

He sipped his drink again while Maisie got up to check on the baking pie. When the oven door was opened, he could feel his mouth water compulsively, and his stomach growled at the sweet aroma. He hadn’t had anything to eat yet either that day, so he was looking forward to having a freshly made meal. At her question, however, he fidgeted uncomfortably. “Um, it was good,” he replied vaguely, hesitant to admit that Iris hadn’t said anything about it because she hadn’t even had a taste. Hoping to keep her from asking any more questions about it, he changed the subject. “Do you live alone or are there other people who stay here with you?”

[sukikyoufu]

“You really didn’t know?” Maisie sighed softly as she heard Cas say he had no idea on how it was like for them. “That’s why the rebellion started. It was meant to be a good cause; it was for a good cause, but everyone can lose sight of what’s right.” Shaking her head, she pulled out the pie from the oven placing it on the side, “They were all good people, I’m not excusing what they have done at all, but originally it was about the people. Iris was always about the people, that has never changed. I’m assuming you know about her mother?” Cutting a big slice of the freshly cooked pie she placed it on the plate for Caspain with a knife and fork before moving over and handing it to him.

“Enjoy!” Though she felt herself sigh when he spoke about not hurting her friend, that it would never work because of her station and she knew that was true. “Thank you, but I’m not just talking about emotions here. If they catch her, they will kill her. You have to know this right? As much as your life is on the line hers is now on the line not just from the Capital but the rebellion here. I’m just worried she won’t make it out alive.” There was clear worry in her voice, she didn’t want to lose her best friend because of all of this.

Shaking her head, she put the smile back on her face, “Well I’m glad the pie was good. This one though. Much better. So, enjoy.” Not thinking on the subject of the previous pie anymore she was distracted by his question on if she lived alone, “Yeah. It’s just me. Me and my dad look after the bakery, me more so than him now due to age. I’ve been trying to convince Iris to move in with me, heaven knows she needs to get out of her place.” Chuckling to herself as she stood back up glancing at the bathroom door, “Eat up. I’ll go check on her and then I’m sure you can’t wait to shower. I think I have some spare clothes you can use.”

Busying herself she moved over to the bedroom grabbing some clothes for her friend before knocking on the bathroom door and slipping inside as she couldn’t hear the water running anymore. “Hey. I brought you some clothes. Iris?”

“O-Oh… thanks.” Forcing a smile as she turned to Maisie, towel wrapped securely around her.

“I’ve made some food too, he’s just eating. He can hop in the shower in a moment… you’re not okay, are you?” Maisie sighed as she could see through the forced smile on her friend’s face.

“No! I’m fine. Don’t worry. Let me get changed and then enjoy that pie of yours.” Iris smiled drying her hair with the towel acting like nothing was bothering her.

“Fine, but we will talk whilst pretty boy is in the shower. You know I don’t take no for an answer~” Maisie smiled as she moved out of the bathroom leaving the clothes behind for her friend to change, she would talk to her without others listening in on them as she knew something was wrong.

[Rogue Sloth]

When Maisie said the same thing about the rebellion that Iris had earlier, Cas contemplated her words. Unless the two women had rehearsed their spiel in advance, it sounded like they both believed there really had been a good reason for the Scourge to form. He wasn’t quite sure what to make of that, since he’d always been told that the rebels were just power-hungry troublemakers who wanted to usurp the throne for their own selfish gain. In contrast, he was starting to wonder if there was more to their cause than his father had asserted. Everything in Tongsen was deteriorating and filthy, and he’d seen more homeless people in one district than he’d thought existed in the nation altogether. Even though the people leading the rebellion seemed to be just as corrupt as he’d imagined, he felt a little sympathetic for their original cause if their lives were actually as difficult as they claimed.

Taking the slice of pie from Maisie, he murmured his gratitude and ate a piece while she explained that she hadn’t just been referring to breaking Iris’s heart when she’d told him not to hurt her. “Oh, well if that’s what you’re worried about, I can promise you that she’ll be fine,” he assured her confidently. “Even if the guards at the border try to do anything to her, they can’t if I order them to stand down. My authority trumps even their highest-ranking officers, so Iris will be fine. I won’t let them arrest the person who saved my life.” Objectively, he knew that per the law, Iris should have been arrested for treason since she was part of the Scourge, but she had helped him escape from her father and was now smuggling him back into the capital. Political affiliations aside, she didn’t deserve to end up in a prison cell after everything she had done for him.

As Maisie went on to answer his question, he nodded in agreement that Iris needed to get out of her house. He understood that all too well after watching her father strike her across the face. Regis was an abusive man, and he hoped she wouldn’t go back to him after she brought him back to the inner-city district. Moving in with a close friend seemed like a far better option for her.

Left alone while she walked off to check on her friend, he finished his pie and the beer she had given him. It was a strange combination of flavors, but he enjoyed both anyway, well aware that he couldn’t be picky in a district where even common foods seemed to be in low supply. It also helped that Maisie was a talented baker. She had been right when she’d said this pie was better than the last one. He scarfed it down hungrily, taking hardly any time at all to polish off his plate and then leaning back into the sofa with a contented sigh when he was done.

In a land stripped down from all the luxuries he was used to, he was starting to appreciate simple pleasures more. The food had been good, the furniture was comfortable, and he was going to enjoy being clean for the first time in days. Maisie didn’t have much, but she did have enough to create a warm and welcoming home, and he was grateful that she had been willing to take him and Iris in. This was far better than the bomb shelter they’d stayed in the night before.

Hearing the sound of footsteps, he turned toward the door as the hostess returned from checking on Iris. “How’s Iris doing?” he asked, curious if she was almost done showering but also genuinely wondering about her wellbeing. He’d noticed that she had been gone for a while.

[sukikyoufu]

“I hope you keep to that promise, for everyones sake.” Maisie sighed, even though he sounded confident she just felt like something bad was going to happen. A part of her felt like her friend was going to get hurt and she didn’t want that, not at all and she knew she couldn’t prevent it. As much as she could be there for her she couldn’t do anything against the Capital. Though his next question she did falter, after checking on her friend she knew she wasn’t okay, but should she tell him that? Was it his business?

“O-Oh… she’s eh fine?” Maisie fumbled as glanced over at Cas, grimacing as she realised that hadn’t sounded very convincing. “I… no, but I will do my best to make sure she is.” Trying to smile she always knew when Iris wasn’t quite right, this hadn’t been the first time nor would it be the last helping her friend through some darker or sad times. “Oh… actually I should probably mention about the sleeping arrangements, if you do end up staying, I don’t mind you taking my room. There’s a double bed there that should hopefully be comfortable enough for you. Me and Iris can stay out here together.” Smiling as she relaxed herself back on the sofa she didn’t mind, she’d let Iris sleep on the sofa, and she’d take the floor. Although guarantee Iris would take the floor, damn girl is so stubborn.

Finally getting changed Iris sighed looking down at her hands, it felt nice being in fresh clothes and she couldn’t help but feel guilty because Cas had it far worse than she did. Although the water had been warm, the clothes were warm she felt cold, but she didn’t know if that was because she was emotional or something else. Moving out of the bathroom she placed a smile on her face as she started to plat her wet hair between her fingers, “Ohhh, smell that pie. Can’t wait to try it.”

“You think?” Maisie grinned, “It’s going to be better than the one I gave you. What did you think of that pie anyway? Anything I should change?”

“You never need to change anything in your food, you’re quite talented. It was delicious.” Iris smiled softly, not letting her know about what had happened with the pie as she knew she would give Cas an earful. Regardless on who he was she would still reprimand him and her for not eating so it was easier this way.

“Let me get towels and find him some clothes so he can go shower. I’ll try not to be too long.” Maisie smiled giving a small wave as she moved to her room to find something for Cas to wear at least. She was sure she had something although it may take a while.

Watching as Maisie left, she shook her head before moving to the sofa sitting herself down feeling somewhat better. Though her thoughts still plagued her, troubling her making her feel uneasy but she would push it aside for now.

[Rogue Sloth]

When Maisie admitted that Iris wasn’t doing well, Cas frowned thoughtfully. He’d had a feeling that something was off with her, since she hadn’t been her usual cheerful self since they’d left the capital, but he’d just assumed she was focusing on getting him back to the capital. Hearing someone who knew her better than he did say that there was something wrong made him wonder if he’d missed something important. Maybe turning on her father has been harder on her than I thought, he guessed, drumming his fingers against his knee. Even if Regis wasn’t a good man, he was still her family. It wouldn’t have been shocking to find out that she was feeling guilty about betraying him.

However, he didn’t ponder over it for long before he tuned back into what Maisie was saying about sleeping arrangements. Right away, he shook his head. “I appreciate the offer, but you two should take the bedroom,” he countered with a small smile. “There’s only one sofa, so it just makes more sense for me to sleep out here, so you both can share the bed.” As much as he missed having a bed to sprawl on, he couldn’t claim hers in good conscience, especially when he knew now that Iris was having a hard time with something. Plus, he’d been telling the truth when he’d said it made more sense for them to use the bedroom. He was tired, but he was still observant enough to realize that if they slept in the living room, there was only a comfortable place for one of them to lay down.

When Iris entered the room, Cas looked up at her, quietly studying her face as if it could tell him why she wasn’t fine. He fidgeted uncomfortably as Maisie brought up the pie from yesterday again, but to his relief, Iris covered for him with a white lie. It seemed like even though she might not have been in the best place emotionally, she wasn’t going to take her troubles out on him. He leaned forward on his seat to get up so he could take his turn in the shower and glanced at Maisie when she announced that she would look for some clothes for him to borrow. He wondered where she would get clothes that would fit him. Scratching the surface of six feet tall, there was an obvious size difference between them.

She might have something here belonging to her father or a partner, he reasoned, standing up from the sofa. As Iris took a seat, he hesitated, considering whether or not to ask her what was wrong. A week ago, he wouldn’t have wasted a second checking in so that she’d know he cared, but now it felt strange to try. Things were still tense between them, and he didn’t want her to think he was prying at something that wasn’t his business. So instead, he let out his breath in a quiet exhaled and offered tentatively, “I don’t know what’s going on inside your head, but if you ever need to talk about it with someone… I’ll listen.”

Even if they didn’t rekindle anything more than the distant acquaintanceship they had now, he felt like it was the least he could do after she’d saved his life. He didn’t mind being an ear for her to vent to or even a shoulder for her to cry on. His friends had told him before that he was good at being supportive. It came to him more naturally than others. His Achilles’ heel of being innately empathetic wasn’t always a bad thing, and even though it had nearly gotten him killed once, it was too deeply rooted in him to just disappear after one mishap. So, rather than walking off to shower right away, he lingered by the sofa just long enough to wait for Iris’s reply.

[sukikyoufu]

Contemplating the idea of him being on the sofa it did make sense for them to share the room, but she felt bad she knew her, and Iris would have been fine. Rather than fight with him it was best they took the room and he had the sofa, especially as he seemed okay with it. Maisie by that point was still rummaging through the clothes knowing she had some of her fathers old items here that he could use, problem was she didn’t know where they were, but once she found them she’d give them to the Prince.

Iris watched as Cas rose from the seat on the sofa to head for his shower, but when he stopped, and she heard his words she felt herself crumble a little. “That’s… really kind.” Glancing down at her hands she felt them tremble as she fidgeted a little bit, although she would have loved to have talk to him, express how she truly felt the reminder of the betrayal and the fact they could never be more than just acquaintances right now kept creeping up on her. “But… I’m fine, nothing is wrong. Thank you.” Making her voice sound strong she pushed herself off of the sofa and moved to the kitchen to grab herself some food, distracting herself from the truth.

Lies. Maisie thought to herself as she moved into the living room clothes and towels in hand for the Prince, but she knew it was only a matter of time before the words I’m fine wouldn’t cut it anymore. “Here.” Maisie spoke up before any of the conversation could continue, plus she was certain the Prince would want his shower by now. Holding out the clothes and the towel for him she smiled, “I hope they fit, they were my fathers. Sorry it took a while to find them it’s been a while.” Laughing to herself as she moved to the sofa sitting herself down.

“Well least you managed to find them. Thanks, for helping. I don’t know what I would have done.” Iris smiled stopping in the doorway of the kitchen glancing back between Cas and Maisie before going to cut some pie. The fake smile plastered on her face like nothing was wrong and everything was a okay in her world. It was far from the truth, but they didn’t need to know that.

“Oh hush, it’s fine. The amount of times you have bailed me out.” Maisie waved it off grinning, “Speaking of I should probably find some extra bedding. It can get quite cold.” Tapping her fingers against her chin as she tried to think on where she had last seen it, she was certain it was in a box somewhere, but it was just a case of where. Although when Maisie had glanced over at her friend, she frowned catching sight of shaky hands trying to cut the pie.

Pushing herself off of the sofa she silently made her way to her friend taking hold of her hand steadying it. “Hey, go sit down. Let me do that.” Taking the knife from shaky hands as she moved to cut a slice of pie she nudged Iris to go sit down.

[Rogue Sloth]

The ‘I’m fine’ that left Iris’s lips was an obvious lie to Caspian, but he took it to mean that she didn’t want to talk to him about whatever was on her mind. That was an answer in itself, so he didn’t push her to say anything more. He’d done his part by opening the door, so now it was up to her to decide if she was going to step through and take him up on his offer. Truthfully, he couldn’t tell if she would or not. The odds felt pretty evenly split. They had grown close once before, so he’d proven to her that he could be good company if she decided she wanted to open up to him again. But on the other hand, the rift between them now was a massive threshold to cross. He wouldn’t blame her if she decided to leave it untouched.

When Maisie returned and handed him fresh clothes and a towel, he nodded appreciatively. “I’m just grateful you’re giving me anything at all,” he said honestly. “Thank you. This is very generous.” Taking the neatly stacked fabric from her hands, he felt a little guilty that he didn’t have any way of paying her back. However, he supposed he could think of something to do later on once he was safely inside the walls of the capital. He was Aspiria’s crown prince, so he had more than enough resources to come up with an appropriate way to pay her back for everything she was doing for him and Iris. He would just have to make sure he didn’t forget her name, so he could make sure he thanked the right person.

As Maisie and Iris began talking amongst themselves, Cas headed to the bathroom to shower, eager to wash off the combination of blood, sweat and dirt that had been accumulating on his body for days. Closing the door behind him, he slipped off the hoodie he’d borrowed from Iris, grimacing as he saw the bloodstains on the inside of the clothing. Until now, he’d known that the jacket had been soiled, but he hadn’t had adequate lighting to really take it in. Now that he did, he hoped she’d been sincere when she’d said she didn’t expect him to give in back in good condition. And the rest of his clothes weren’t any better off either.

Glancing into the mirror, he could see that the entire left side of his t-shirt was streaked with red-black marks, and even the waistband of his jeans was stained. He doubted any of it was salvageable, even if they had access to the best stain remover in the country. Carefully, he took his shirt by the hem and pulled it over his head, struggling slightly as the discolored part of the fabric clung to his skin. The motion made his injured arm ache, but he managed to remove the top without needing any help, and he followed suit by dropping his trousers.

For a moment, he hesitated, almost afraid to look at his reflection, but he worked up the nerve and turned toward the mirror one more time. “Holy shit,” he muttered, staring incredulously at the collection of bruises that decorated his legs and torso. Between being jostled by his kidnappers, laying on the hard surfaces in his cell, and taking Regis’s beatings, he looked like he’d just gotten out of a cage fight. By far, the worst of the contusions were the marks on his stomach. He lifted a hand to touch them and bit his lip at how tender his muscles were. It was probably going to be a long time before they disappeared.

In addition to the dark patches that painted him from head to foot, his left side and arm were also coated in dried blood from his stab wound. He’d gotten so used to the feeling of being filthy that he hadn’t realized just how much of the congealed liquid was still stuck to his upper body. The disturbing sight prompted him to climb into the shower quickly, so he could scrub it all off as fast as possible. Impatient to be clean again, he turned on the water and set to work.

[sukikyoufu]

Maisie smiled waving him off as if it was nothing, she didn’t mind one bit, not when it came to her dearest friend as she would do anything for her. With ease she had already sliced and plated a slice of pie for Iris handing it over, “Go sit down and eat. I’ll make you a drink.” Turning back to the kitchen she pulled out a mug to make her a cup of tea hoping it would calm her friend and help towards sleeping later, Maisie already knew that it would be a problem. Growing up with Iris she knew her, probably better than herself right now. Frowning at that thought she shook her head busying herself with making some tea.

Sighing to herself Iris held the plate in her hand before moving back to the sofa sitting herself down looking at the food, it smelled amazing but at the same time she didn’t feel all to hungry. Although Maisie will kill me if I don’t eat something. Thinking to herself as she absentmindedly pushed around the pie on her plate, it smelled amazing. It looked great and she knew was probably hungry, but she just didn’t feel it right now.

“Iris…” Maisie sighed softly as she moved back over catching her push around the slice of pie, placing down the mug of tea on the table as she sat down next to her friend. “At least try to eat a little.” Urging her friend to eat.

Shaking her head Iris placed the plate down on the table, “I can’t… I… I don’t know. I thought I was hungry. I probably am.” Placing her head in her hands as she couldn’t face her friend, she could feel herself tremble as she tried to keep herself together and not breakdown.

“Hey… hey.” Maisie smiled edging closer as she pulled Iris into a hug, but the minute she did she felt her friend crumble in her arms. Tears had started to fall, and she could hear the quiet sobs of her friend as she kept her arms firmly around her, moving her hand she stroke her hair gently giving it a moment before she would talk. For now, she’d let Iris cry it out in her arms even though it pained her she couldn’t help more.

“I… I’m such a horrible person. W-Who even am I-I? I.. I don’t know anymore.” Her words choked out as she gripped at her friend, seeking the comfort that she was providing. “I… how could I do that to someone? I broke his trust. I ruined everything…” The tears rolled down her cheeks as she couldn’t stop it, she had opened up the flood gate of emotions. “I’ve lost my family… My f-father, he will kill me. I’ve lost everything and it’s all my fault.”

“Iris… you lost your dad some time ago and you know this deep down.” Maisie sighed feeling her own heart break at how broken her friend was, “You may not remember it, which might be a blessing but… he wasn’t the same person. You know this.”

“It… d-doesn’t excuse what I did to Cas!” Shaking her head as she didn’t move from the hug, she didn’t want her friend to see her in such a state. “Not that it matters now… who w-was I-I kidding. As if he could like someone like me…”

[Rogue Sloth]

The water that sprayed from the shower head wasn’t hot. Even when Cas turned the temperature all the way up, it didn’t heat up more than a little above lukewarm, but it still felt good against his bruised skin. Having finished scrubbing himself clean, he stood with his eyes closed as the stream cascaded down his shoulders and back, enjoying the relaxing sensation of the water. He wasn’t sure when he would be able to take a shower again since he and Iris had already been set back once by her ex-boyfriend, and they’d only been on the run for a day and a half. So, he took advantage of Maisie’s while he had the chance, letting the steady stream wash away his tension at least for today.

Once he decided he’d stayed in the bathroom long enough—and reminded himself that he shouldn’t use up all of his hostess’s warm water supply—he turned the shower off and climbed out. Just one look in the mirror showed him that he was looking much better than before. His body was still bruised, but all the blood was gone and his hair was no longer a filthy, matted mess. Relieved, he dried himself off with the towel Maisie had given him and tested the clothes. The jeans she’d left were a hair too tight around his waist, but he could button them completely, so they were wearable. The same went for the shirt. It was a little snugger than he was used to, but it didn’t restrict his movement and was actually somewhat flattering on his broad frame, so he was content with it.

I went from ‘homeless’ to ‘gym rat,’ he thought amusedly as he studied his reflection again. The way the top fit him reminded him of the muscle shirts some guys wore when they worked out. He wasn’t very surprised that the clothes were tight though. If food was as scarce in Tongsen as Iris had claimed, Maisie’s father probably hadn’t been a very big man. He was just glad that the shirt and jeans were large enough to fit him.

While he was still in the bathroom, he took a moment to check on the bandages wrapped around his left arm. The dressing had gotten thoroughly soaked during his shower and had pulled awkwardly away from his skin. It didn’t look very effective anymore, and he touched the edge of it gently, wondering if Maisie had anything he could use to patch his wound up again. Leaving the wet cloth in place didn’t seem very sanitary, and he was still concerned about the injury becoming infected.

Running his fingers through his still-dripping hair to straighten it, he collected his old clothes from the floor and stepped out of the bathroom to rejoin the others in the others. “Hey, Maisie, do you have—” he started and then stopped abruptly when he caught sight of the position the two women were in. Apparently, whatever had been bothering Iris had boiled over while he’d been in the shower. Well, this is uncomfortable, he shifted his weight, regretting opening his mouth before he’d stepped into the living room.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he backpedaled, hoping his appearance hadn’t ruined the moment. Even though Iris hadn’t been willing to open up to him, it was obvious that she had needed to talk to someone, and Maisie was listening. Unfortunately, he’d already drawn attention to himself, so he fumbled through the rest of his request: “I just, um… I was wondering if you had anything I could use to rewrap this?” He gestured to the wet binding around his arm. “I can do it in the bedroom if you two still need some space.”

[sukikyoufu]

Maisie looked up grimacing as she heard his voice, she felt Iris stiffen in her arms probably embarrassed on the fact he had walked in on them. “No no, it’s okay. Yeah, it is a good idea we change that. It could get infected if we don’t.” Speaking normally, not drawing attention to the scene of Iris crying.

No. Did he hear what I said? I hope not. Oh gosh, why does he always see me crying like this? He must think I am pathetic. I am pathetic. Stiffening at the fact he had walked in on them, already berating herself on the fact she could not keep her emotions in check and had broken down completely. Pulling away from Maisie she wiped her face hoping she did not look a state, but even she knew her face would be blotchy from crying. “Did you eh… enjoy your shower?” Iris tried to smile pushing all emotions aside best she could; her voice shaky as she glanced over at Cas trying to avoid the subject of her emotions.

“Let me get some new bandages, I think I have a few left in the bedroom.” Maisie smiled as she rose to her feet to find some more bandages, casing a glance at Iris she gave her a warning smile. “Eat up, I mean it.” Warning her as she moved towards the bedroom to get some supplies to sort out the wound for Caspain.

Glancing over at the pie on the table Iris sighed, picking it up in her hands as she slowly started to pick at it. Eating a little bit, she forced herself to eat because Maisie would not let it go if she didn’t, she started to feel a little awkward but then she was still quite emotional. Upset and somewhat lost, but it did not matter now. It had to be pushed aside because getting him home was more important than anything right now.

“Here we are!” Maisie grinned holding some new bandages, “Although I highly doubt, you’ll be able to do this yourself.”

“I will do it. It’s not a problem.” Iris smiled looking up as she put the plate back down, the pie half eaten.

“Well alright. I should set up the rooms and get some sleeping bits for everyone. I think I have a spare blanket at least. You sure you’re okay on the sofa? I feel bad.” Maisie sighed as she looked over at Cas before glancing to Iris and the barely touched food. Holding her tongue she would get to the bottom of it later. Passing the bandages over she gave a small wave before disappearing into the bedroom to find comfort for everyone.

“Will you be okay on the sofa? Especially with that arm?” Iris asked gently as she took the bandages looking over at Cas, face still blotchy and red in places from the tears she had shed earlier. “Did you eh.. want me to help? I’d be happy to re patch that up.” Smiling as she looked down at the bandages in her hands smiling, it was at least something she could do to help him.

[Rogue Sloth]

“Right…” Cas agreed, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. He could tell that he’d definitely interrupted something important by barging into the room and opening his big mouth before he’d thought to check his surroundings. It was important that he swapped out the bandages on his arm for a clean, dry set, so his wound didn’t get infected, but it wasn’t so important that it couldn’t wait for a few more minutes. He stepped aside to let Maisie pass as she headed into the bedroom to look for medical supplies he could use. In the meantime, he turned back to Iris, who’d asked him a question.

“Um, yeah, I did,” he answered, wavering by the bedroom door. Now that her friend was gone, there was an open spot on the sofa next to her, but he couldn’t tell if she would be comfortable with it if he closed the distance between them while she was still recovering from her distress. She hadn’t even wanted him to know that anything was wrong earlier. However, he supposed the damage had already been done the moment he’d first stepped into the room. It’s not like I can make her much more uncomfortable than she already is, he thought dryly, folding to his tiredness and walking over to sit next to her.

Trying to move past the super awkward moment, he settled down as far away from her as he could on the seat to give her space and drew his knee to his chest. “You know, Ethan showing up today was kind of a blessing in disguise,” he mused. “If he hadn’t cut us off, we wouldn’t have ended up at your friend’s place.” Even though he would have preferred to be sleeping in his own bed, he was beginning to realize that it was probably going to be a while before he got home. He was glad they were able to spend the night in Maisie’s cozy apartment rather than somewhere out on the filthy streets of the twelfth district.

Stifling a yawn, he leaned back into the sofa and ran his right hand through his hair again to pull out more of the water. His exhaustion was catching up to him fast, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could stay awake before it overpowered him. Since he’d been abducted, he hadn’t had a single full night of sleep. When he’d been in Regis’s basement, he’d only slept in short bursts, and when he and Iris had stayed in the bomb shelter, he’d been too anxious to remain unconscious until morning. Now, in the comfortable setting of a friendly face’s home, he felt like he could finally relax enough to catch up on the rest he so desperately needed.

When Maisie returned, he forced himself to sit up a little straighter. He still needed to deal with his injured arm, so he couldn’t fall asleep until it was taken care of. At her assumption that he wouldn’t be able to do it by himself, he shook his head, prepared to tell her that he was still going to try. However, Iris spoke first, making the decision for both of them that she would be the one to redress his wound. He sighed but didn’t have time to argue before Maisie chased her friend’s declaration with a question. “You have no reason to feel bad. I’ll sleep just fine out here,” he promised, knowing fully well that he was going to pass out as soon as the lights went off.

Once he and Iris were left alone, Cas turned to her with a roll of his eyes. “Yes, mom, I’ll be fine,” he repeated, a half smile tugging at his lip. “To be honest, it’s always been a bucket list thing for me to try couch surfing at someone else’s place. I’ve never had the chance before, because I was always expected to sleep at my own house in the capital… My dad said it was safer.” He shrugged, letting her take the bandages from him. “Screw safety now though. I’m already living life on the edge out here, so I’m going to do what I damn well please. Tonight, that means crashing on your friend’s sofa.”

Having said his piece, he leaned forward and tugged at the damp bandages around his arm, trying to pull them loose. Although he’d wanted to treat his own injury, he had to admit it was impossible to do with only one hand. “Yeah, if you don’t mind…” he caved, glancing up at Iris sheepishly as he accepted that he wasn’t going to be able to do it without help. After a brief hesitation, he leaned a little closer to her to give her better access to the wrapping on his bicep, so she could patch him up again without reaching awkwardly across the gap between them.

[sukikyoufu]

“Yeah, I guess it was. It’s at least given you time to recover some energy, even if it’s only a little.” Iris smiled slightly happy on a different subject and not her feelings, although the idea of opening up to him wasn’t a bad idea as she had done it once. The problem was she’d only feel guilty for doing it because of everything she had caused, why should she unload her feelings making herself feel better when she felt she didn’t deserve it. “This will probably be the best place we stay.” Sighing at the realisation on the fact she couldn’t do more to make him comfortable.

Hearing his joke, the half-smile tugging at his lip at his lip as he spoke about his bucket list and how couch surfing had been on it only made the guilt resurface. Without noticing the tears left her eyes as she looked at him, listening about how he was living life on the edge and to screw safety. Bowing her head in shame she looked at the bandages in her hand she knew she hadn’t been quite finished with her breakdown, her emotions were still running haywire and it was hard to control. “You never deserved this… it’s all my fault.” Whispering more to herself as she focused her gaze on the bandages in her hand.

“What have I become? I don’t…” Sighing as she shook her head shaking away the tears before she looked back up, “Sorry… I.. I will be fine, ignore me.” Trying to smile as she moved over thankful he had leaned a little closer, taking the time she gently began to loosen the bandages trying to take care and not hurt him anymore. Gently removing the old bandages, she cringed seeing the wound, it wasn’t the best looking and she knew there was plenty of time before it would heal. It worried her that it could get infected. What if it got infected whilst they were still here as there was no way she could treat it. Not without medication.

Placing the soiled bandages to one side she grabbed the new set and began to wrap them around his bicep, again it had to be tight but not too much so he couldn’t feel his arm. With ease she had re patched him up with the new set of bandages with albeit shaky hands, she had done a good job and she was happy with it. “How does it feel? Not too tight right? I hope it doesn’t get infected… I don’t know what to do on that front.” Smiling sadly as she looked at the bandaged bicep, “All we can do really is hope that rest will help you recover quicker, at least tonight will be comfortable.” Rambling slightly as she fiddled with her fingers, a part of her felt nervous being alone with him now.

Cas had every right to be angry at her, a part of her wanted him to shout at her, blame her because she was at fault. Another part wanted nothing more than to hug him and say how everything was going to be okay, but she knew that was not appropriate. Not when they could never be with each other and that wasn’t just because of the betrayal but because of their social status, plus she was certain that his father was after her head.

[Rogue Sloth]

The smile faded from Caspian’s lips as he saw Iris hang her head shamefully. Apparently his attempt to lighten the mood hadn’t worked as well as he’d hoped. He studied her sadly, wondering what had caused her to look so dejected until she answered his unspoken question by blaming herself for his predicament. Surprised to find out that she was beating herself up over him, he blinked bemusedly and then looked away, unsure what to say. Telling her that she was wrong and that his predicament had nothing to do with her would have been a lie. They both knew it was because of her betrayal that he’d ended up in her maniacal father’s basement, beaten and bloodied. However, it was also clear to him that she regretted what she’d done, and that had to count for something too.

What saddened him even more was hearing her tell him to ignore her, as if her inner turmoil didn’t matter enough for him to concern himself with it. In that moment, he felt a pang of shame, himself, realizing that he’d probably caused her to believe he didn’t want anything more to do with her when he’d snapped at her earlier. That’s further from the truth than it should be, he thought with a subtle shake of his head. Objectively, he should have backed off from her after she’d helped her ex-boyfriend abduct him and he’d learned that she was deeply involved with the Scourge. However, he couldn’t erase their short history in the capital. It was too easy for him to care about what she was going through, whether it should have been or not.

As Iris tended to his arm, he bit his lower lip to stifle a wince, trying not to flinch while she worked. He’d just been stabbed yesterday, so the wound was still extremely tender. Even her gentle touch hurt, so he had to make a conscious effort not to squirm while she wrapped his bicep in fresh bandages. Once she was done, he let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, breathing a little heavier to make up for the oxygen he’d lost and quell the slight dizziness he’d caused himself.

“It feels fine,” he answered her question. Silently, he added that it would feel better after a few minutes, when the throbbing dulled. However, there was nothing either of them could do about that without the heavy-duty painkillers he could only get in the capital, so he kept that to himself.

For a moment, he sat in silence, noticing that an awkward tension had fallen over them again. It wasn’t a long shot to guess that her thoughts had spiraled back into the pit of guilt she’d been feeling a few minutes ago. He dropped his gaze to his hands in his lap. Even though he knew he couldn’t get close to her again, he hated seeing her in such a dark place. It was obvious that she was trying hard to make up for her mistakes, and her efforts hadn’t gone unnoticed. He didn’t want her to think that he was still angry with her over what she’d done.

“Iris…” he sighed, tentatively reaching out to place his hand on her forearm. “Please don’t pin all of this on yourself. Yes, you messed up, but we all do sometimes. Nobody’s perfect. What matters is that you recognize that it was a mistake, and you’re doing what you can to fix it. That’s all anyone can do.” He shrugged, glancing up to seek her gaze. “I’m not mad—not anymore, at least. I forgive you. I just… need a little time to really move forward. I’m not holding it against you though, and you shouldn’t either because that’s not fair of either of us to do when you’re not a bad person.”