Recent Statuses

1 yr ago
Current Just to inform all my partners I will be taking a short break whilst I move home. Responses and replies will return once I am settled.
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2 yrs ago
How do you write like you're running out of time? Write day and night like you're running out of time? (This darn song is stuck in my head T.T)
2 yrs ago
Welp, now to wait for the next patch of FFXIV ;A;
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3 yrs ago
Expect delays with replies as FFXIV Shadowbringers has come out <3


April 22nd
England/GMT time

If you have an questions or ideas please feel free to get in touch! I also work full time so sometimes my responses can be sporadic.

If I'm not on here writing I will most certainly be playing video games or sucked into a new world reading.

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It was a lot of information to process, and she could feel a headache forming as she settled back down on the bed. Somehow, she had survived when in truth she shouldn’t have still been here. To Jacob it was simple, he had been given an order to rescue her and he had followed it. Had Caspian not sent anyone it would be a different story, one that she wouldn’t have woken up from, but she had been given another chance at life for whatever reason. Jacob had a lot to lose if Cas found out about this, but even with her threatening to tell the King the truth he had called her bluff.

Jacob knew she wouldn’t, not when originally her plan to leave had been aided by him because she knew it was for the best this way. Even if she had wanted too, she knew she couldn’t bring him down with her when Cas was destined for far better things without her dragging him down. It hurt to admit that Jacob was right so she kept quiet watching as he made to leave so she could rest some more. “Thank you.”

Just as she was about to close her eyes and try to get some more sleep, she heard him speak up again, only to give her insight on where important things where if she needed. Nodding along she doubted she would move from the bed; the pain of moving was far too strong to consider anything other than getting some more sleep. “That shouldn’t be a problem.” Smiling ever so slightly as they both knew she wouldn’t be up running around so soon.

Food was out of the question; first aid would be useful, and she could clean up the wound from aggravating it, but resting was the best option for her. Curious to who the number would call she nearly asked him before he left, but she couldn’t imagine anyone else knew about this situation, so it had to go through to him. It didn’t really matter, it’s not like she would call anyway when she was planning to sleep the ret of the day.

Awkwardly she didn’t know what else to say, should she say have a good day? Or just a simple goodbye? Iris knew she was just overthinking something very minor in the grand scheme of things and instead of saying anything she closed her eyes to try and get some sleep. Currently she could feel the pain returning and she wanted to be ahead of it and hopefully fall asleep before it became a problem. Even if there were painkillers in the first aid box it meant moving and she didn’t feel she was quite ready to do that so soon.

Trying to focus on falling asleep she was glad for how drained she already felt, thankfully the exhaustion didn’t make it too difficult for her to return to her dreams and get some much-needed rest allowing the wound its time to heal.
“I should have known better, he promised to leave well alone with the Capital and Cas if I returned, but… well.” Sighing softly at the realization it had ultimately been her own fault for believing he would honour his promise. It hadn’t been the first broken one he’d made, nor would it have been the last. Except now he was dead, so it would be the last promise he could break. Frowning as she heard him admit that he didn’t regret saving her she had to wonder why, he had no personal relations to her. Sure, there was Cas, but that wasn’t enough. Yet, this was now the second time he had saved her.

“Twice you have saved me now. I’m building up a debt I can’t repay.” Iris winced at his next words, there was nowhere else for her to stay. That and he planned on releasing her back to the districts, but only when she was well enough. Which by the looks of it was going to be a while before she’d be up on her feet. Curling her hand into a fist to hide the blood from pressing her wound she watched him shift his weight, this time meeting her gaze. Moments later she felt her heart drop upon learning that Cas thought she was dead.

“Dead?” At first, she sounded outraged because Cas had lost so much lately to death. The first being his father and now he thought she was dead? Trying to move herself she couldn’t help the whimper leaving her lips still tender and sore for the wound, it wasn’t her best idea to try and move but she soon stopped finding it taxing on herself. Whether or not she agreed with the fact he had told Cassian she was dead she couldn’t leave his place and go tell him herself, she wasn’t ready for that.

“Why bother going to all this trouble? If you’d have walked away, I’d have died ending the problem. What’s to say I now won’t tell him about the lie?” It was plausible enough, when healed even if returned to the Capital she could find a way to get his number again. Deep down it was for the best, initially she had wanted him to focus on being a ruler knowing she would only bring him down. Sighing again he was right; it was probably better this way.

“I’m sorry…” Looking back up at Jacob she knew he had the Kings best interest at heart, after all he had agreed to sneaking her back into the districts because he knew how distracted Cas was over her. “It’s probably for the best this way…” It hurt to say, she had been ready to accept her death but then she’d be free of the guilt and upset lying to Cas because she would have been dead. Even if the decision was the right one, it didn’t stop her from hurting at the thought because she was certain he would blame himself for not knowing sooner. Especially if he now believed she had hadn’t left on her on accord.

Settling back down on the bed she felt exhausted, energy spent from her little outburst and trying to move. It would be wise to rest, there was nothing else to be gained right now and she couldn’t exactly run. “I might get some more rest if that’s okay?” She doubted he would mind, he probably had a bunch of things to be doing than babysitting her right now.
Taking the glass of water offered she took a sip only to realise how thirsty she had been, draining the cup quickly she hadn’t noticed how dry her mouth was, but she doubted she had been able to drink much before now. Holding the glass in her hands she could feel the burning sensation to her side reminding her of the wound and she was certain no hospital had been involved, not when she felt this tender to the pain, and she had been lucky enough to receive care at the top-notch hospitals they had here in the Capital. Cas was safe, but not here. Could she blame him? The way she had left him had been cruel. Maybe he had already move on and didn’t care for her now and that was why she was in Jacob’s condo, not the palace and not a hospital but it still left the question as to why Jacob had saved her of all people.

How did they know where she was? It wasn’t a coincidence that Jacob had saved her of all people, but she doubted he had kept an eye on her movements when leaving the Capital before. Iris knew that Ethan had been texting Cas, winding him up even though he had promised that he would leave him alone because she had returned to the districts to him. It had been stupid of her, but she had hoped that it would mean Cas could focus on the more important stuff, like running the kingdom. Yet, she had been saved. Maybe Cas wasn’t angry with her? But he wasn’t here so maybe he just didn’t want her life on his conscious?

“Dead…” Repeating the words to herself, confirming for herself that Ethan was dead and wouldn’t be there to harm her or Cas anymore. His vengeance had been somewhat personal, poisoning those around him making them believe it was for the rebellion. It wasn’t over, sure Ethan was dead, but the rebellion wasn’t and now she didn’t have any insight on what could potentially harm the new King, but they now knew of a potential weakness in the fact that the King would send a strike team out for a hostage. “He shouldn’t have sent anyone… you shouldn’t have saved me.”

Without thinking her hand went to her side pressing the white fabric into the wound and she felt a wetness beneath it, pulling it back to reveal blood underneath. “I can’t stay here.” Whispering more to herself than anything, she couldn’t be here in Jacobs condo regardless on if she needed to heal or not. Sighing it was all too much, the pain in her side wasn’t helping her think straight either and she didn’t feel comfortable asking for pain relief. Rest would be good, but she wasn’t comfortable in the slightest. “Is Cas mad at me?” It was the only explanation she could think of, and it made sense as to why he wasn’t here. Glancing back at Jacob as he looked to leave so she could rest, not that she wanted too. Being left to her own thoughts wasn’t what she wanted in the slightest, but she doubted Jacob wanted to stick around.
As the nausea passed Iris tried to calm herself from the panic she felt as her mind continued to race thinking over every single possibility that brought her here to this home. Nothing made sense to her and during her spiral of panic she hadn’t even noticed that Jacob had entered the room let alone call her name. Not until his hand touched her shoulder causing her to flinch in reaction expecting the worst, but as she finally gathered the courage to look at him, she felt herself relax a little at seeing him. Jacob had never hurt her, even when she had been imprisoned by the Capital, he had never raised his hand to her and in fact had helped her with her escape back to the districts and it was highly unlikely he was about to start now.

Jacob? Her voice still hoarse, throat dry as she followed his instruction to lay back down feeling the pain ease up a little. Why was he here? In fact, she should be asking why she was there? Trying to remember back to what had happened only to find her mind still hazy and not one hundred percent there with being able to piece it together. “Cas… is he okay? Is he safe?” The first thought of hers was wondering if the young monarch was safe, if Jacob was here then somehow, he would have to be involved. There was no doubt in her mind that this was a simple coincidence and that Cas had to have a part of it somehow.

Slowly Iris began to relax knowing she was in no immediate danger; Jacob had said so himself that she was safe, and she had no reason to believe otherwise or that he would lie on that fact. Still, she had a ton of questions for him because he had to have known what had happened and she needed answers for her own sanity. “Dead?” Jacob had said that Ethan was dead, and a part of her didn’t quite believe that fact, but again why would he lie to her. The pain she could feel told her that this was reality so it wasn’t some warped fantasy or dream of hers, and she had thought that should it have been a dream she wouldn’t have dreamt Jacob to be there.

“What happened?” Hoping that he would explain to her, he didn’t have too, and she couldn’t do anything about it if he did refuse. “Where am I?” Knowing it wasn’t the palace, as much as her memories had been hit and miss, she knew this little home that she had woken up in wasn’t the palace. It also didn’t look like a place that was in the districts either. Rubbing her eyes with her good arm she still felt tired, she didn’t even know how long she had been asleep for which could in turn be a worrying problem. Although, who really cared about her now? No one would be waiting… unless maybe Cas was?

Grimacing the pain was becoming more apparent, now awake she got to enjoy feeling each ache and pain that she had manage to avoid. In truth she hadn’t expected to wake back up, she had been fully ready for death to take her at that moment because she didn’t think that anyone was coming for her.
What was reality? Iris couldn’t even be sure she was truly feeling anything in and out of her daze and on occasion sounds would break through. It was hard to describe what she was going through, the closest explanation she had was that it was simply like a dream. It was easy to slip in and out of consciousness, but more often than not she opted for the darkness not having much of a will to fight against the numbing feeling it gave her. It was a blanket of comfort staying within the depths of darkness and even as the sounds of reality penetrated through it wasn’t enough to pull her back.

Focusing on them meant she had to question her existence, had she really heard all that gunfire? Manic laughter? Her name? It hurt to question it because if she focused on it the lull of the darkness started to seep away and a pain began to return. Floating, that was another way she could describe it, right now she felt like she weighed nothing and could just glide through. Glide through what? What was she doing? Then there would be a flash of memory, blood. Blood everywhere and she could feel the internal panic there.

And then… nothing.

In and out, a strange cycle she began going through. It would start with the floating, feeling weightless almost limitless and just when she felt like she could reach it panic would settle in. Then fear. Then flashes of memories always ending up with blood before it would return to nothing. Over and over this happened and it almost felt routine, constantly playing on a loop for hours until it started to feel like days. Each section in the cycle began to drag on, lasting ages until she felt the release of the next stage to it.

Desperately she wanted to be free of this panic, the flashes of memory that had lasted for hours. Right now, she should be feeling the darkness, being numb to everything but the loop was stuck on this very segment, and she wanted to be free of it. The intensity began to grow as if building up to something and she could feel it in the pit of her stomach, she could feel her heart in her chest and just when she thought the loop would continue it all faded away as finally her eyes began to flutter open washing away the odd state of mind, she had been in.

Bright, there was so much light that eyes began to water as she adjusted to it. Is this real? How long have I been out? Wincing as she tried to get a better look at her surroundings, but her body felt heavy and even as she willed herself to move, she couldn’t. Tears left her eyes and she heard herself whimper from the pain in her side, she was alive. This was real. As she began to adjust to the lighting, she established she was in a room, it wasn’t a hospital? Dread began to settle in because the only reason she could think of as to why she wasn’t in a hospital was that Ethan still had a hold of her.

N-No…” Hearing the rasp of her voice as she tried with all her might to push herself up on the bed, crying to herself at the pain she felt as she desperately tried to get out of the bed and somehow make a run for it. It was then she began to remember everything he had done to her, the beatings, the cracking of bones in her left arm all the way to when he had stabbed her. No, she would not go through it all again, but the sudden rush of pain from all the movement she tried bought a wave of nausea and she had to stop herself before she threw up.
The laughter of his could be heard throughout the home, a crazed madman who had felt like he had won everything. Plans upon plans, getting them all to this current place and of course it wasn’t over, for him it was the end of the line but there were still whispers and rumours of the rebellion now fled from these walls. People would still join the cause, especially now a young King was on the throne who was full of inexperience. Things would only get worse and hopefully go downhill, but right now Ethan would at least leave his last mark by firing off the last bullets of his gun aiming for the soldiers that had come tonight.

Eyes wide and wild as he watched the soldiers all scramble, jumping out of the way of his shots and the impact against the old house was causing structural damage. One gunshot went right through the ceiling causing a chunk of it to crack and fall with a crash to the floor, dust and debris scattering across the room as the last few shots had been fired and his gun now empty. Blood poured down his leg from the gunshot he had received earlier, adrenaline wearing off as pain started to seep through, but it wasn’t long now until they would assess him as a threat to kill.

It was then he saw the guard in the doorway, quick and fast and he held his own composure the sinister grin plastered on his face as the gunshot went right through his head killing him in moments clearly expecting this. For a few seconds he was sat grinning madly on the bed, blood seeping out of his new wound in the head before the body crumpled falling forward to the floor in a heap. Ethan was dead and in his last moments he hoped that they truly believed the rebellion was finally over by killing him.

Silence now greeted them and some of the soldiers started to move from their positions entering the room now the target was dead. Harry was one of the soldiers who had accompanied Jacob on this mission, and he had previously guarded Iris in the hospital after a rather sour interrogation. Things had certainly changed for them now to be completing some sort of rescue mission for her, but their efforts appeared to be in vain as he stepped into the room looking at a rather bloody scene before him.

Carefully he stepped over the falling debris of the ceiling and knelt down in front of the girl he had once guarded and placed two fingers against her cold skin looking for a pulse. In the background he could hear shuffle of feet of the other soldiers approaching the madman, one of them calling out to the room confirming he was indeed dead, and no threat remained. Shaking his own head, he was about to call it himself for the girl on the floor until he paused, pressing his fingers harder as he felt something so faint, he had almost missed it.

“Jacob.” Nodding his head down to the girl to get him to check, “I’m probably imaging it. Ignore me” Shaking his head he put it down to false hope as he rose to his feet eyes sweeping over the body, he couldn’t be sure if he had felt a pulse or not, but she had been here for a while he doubted she had survived.

Ethans intent stare did not leave her body, eyes sweeping the figure up and down as if she was about to spring to life again. Knife still embedded in her skin having not been pulled, but he was certain she was dead now or just barely clinging to life because the rise and fall of her chest was so faint, he couldn’t see, and he wasn’t about to leave the comfort of the bed to go check. It didn’t matter now anyway; she was dead, and the King had not come for her, so it meant he’d have to rethink his plan.

Leaning forward he began to tap his foot just waiting for time to pass and to finally make a move, thinking over everything that had led up to this moment until he heard it a creak of a floorboard. Eyes going to the door and listening just in case he had imagined it as the house was old, or it could have even been a gust of wind passing through the old building.

As Ethan stared at the door his hand twitched to his trousers where a gun was sat, it was always good to be alert especially as there was still a chance that Cassian would burst through the door in hopes to save the girl. Noticing the door handle move he knew he had been right, that they would come for her and he was ready to take action, but he was facing off members of the military all highly trained and ready to shoot without hesitation and he heard the gunshot ring out before he felt the sharp pain in his leg.

“Shit!” Hissing out as his left hand went to the wound that had hit just below his knees, blood gushing out of the wound as he looked at Ethan who had entered the room between them both Iris laid on the floor and it was then he noticed a drone buzzing around. “Well, well, well… it seems his majesty didn’t disappoint.” Words spat out through gritted teeth as he watched the drone knowing that the young royal prick was sat behind it safely as he sent his dogs to deal with this matter.

Only then did a malicious grin spread across his lips as he eyed the drone not phased by the rest of the army that was here for just one man. “You’re too late, she’s dead. You should have listened to me whilst you had the chance.” Dramatically he gestured to the pale body on the floor surrounded by her own blood, at first glance she looked dead, and he truly believed so and he had to make sure that Cassian would see it.

“Goodbye your majesty.” With his point made his right hand quickly grabbed the gun in his pocket and without hesitation he fired the shot. It would have made sense if he retaliated at the military who had shot him first, make some dramatic exit but he wasn’t there to punish them. His goal was to end the royal line and if all else this guilt would eat away at the King, because he hoped he would blame himself for this. With his target hit he watched the drone he had shot fall to floor with a loud crash clearly broken and disconnected from whatever feed it had been giving.

Ethans eyes were wild and with the same gun he swung it round and aimed a shot towards Jacob because he would go out with a bang, quite literally. If he became lethal, they wouldn’t bring him in for questioning, if they feared he was there to harm then he would be killed and it meant not giving them any sort of information so he began to shoot wildly emptying the case of the gun as a manic laughter left his lips.
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