[OOC] Lords, Ladies and Lies of the Court

[LovelyAnastasia]

A RP Inspired by "Lords and Ladies of the Court" by Innovative Engimas

In 1534 Britain, Henry the Eighth has died in a roughly successful campaign in France. Defending the English occupied France from its late king, in a series of gruesome battles of attrition, Henry VIII, King of England, died before returning home of sweating sickness, just as his mother and father had before him. Thus his current wife, Anne, is proclaimed Queen, making their only child, Elizabeth heir to the throne above all. Crowned with mixed hopes of the people for the new queen, since the Protestantism has taken various roots in the country from German bishops, threatening to shake the vary island to its foundations. The widowed queen to the throne under bombardment to find a spouse, pending on the religion that will shape the very future of England. Many do not trust this widow Queen, rumors of her being a Witch circling through court, but she is as beautiful and charming as ever. Perhaps this young, dark Queen will be able to do as none have done before her.

Note: This is a politics based roleplay where cheating, lying, backstabbing and down right low down nonsense will either get you ahead or lose your head. Various positions are open, I will reserve judgment on the sheets pending on what you have written. You could be a lowly knight and rise to a duke or a scandalous man of the cloth. Ladies while not having to much 'Official' power can court, tempt and/or marry important figures to influence and get what you need.



Titled:
Anne Tudor, Anne Boleyn, Marquess of Pembroke, Queen of England, France and Lady of Ireland

Age: 26 years of age

Bio/Personality:
Anne was the daughter of Thomas Boleyn, 1st Earl of Wiltshire, and his wife, Lady Elizabeth Howard, and was educated in the Netherlands and France, largely as a maid of honour to Claude of France. She returned to England in early 1522, to marry her Irish cousin James Butler, 9th Earl of Ormond; the marriage plans ended in failure and she secured a post at court as maid of honour to Henry VIII's wife, Catherine of Aragon.

Early in 1523 there was a secret betrothal between Anne and Henry Percy, son of the 5th Earl of Northumberland. In January 1524, Cardinal Thomas Wolsey broke the betrothal, Anne was sent back home to Hever Castle, and Percy was married to Lady Mary Talbot, to whom he had been betrothed since adolescence. In February/March 1526, Henry VIII began his pursuit of Anne. She resisted his attempts to seduce her, refusing to become his mistress – which her sister Mary had been. It soon became the one absorbing object of Henry's desires to annul his marriage to Queen Catherine so he would be free to marry Anne. When it became clear that Pope Clement VII would not annul the marriage, the breaking of the power of the Catholic Church in England began. In 1532, Henry granted her the Marquessate of Pembroke.

Henry and Anne married on 25 January 1533. On 23 May 1533, Thomas Cranmer declared Henry and Catherine's marriage null and void; five days later, he declared Henry and Anne's marriage to be good and valid. Shortly afterwards, the Pope decreed sentences of excommunication against Henry and Cranmer. As a result of this marriage and these excommunications, the first break between the Church of England and Rome took place and the Church of England was brought under the King's control. Anne was crowned Queen of England on 1 June 1533. On 7 September, she gave birth to the future Queen Elizabeth I, whose gender disappointed Henry. He was not entirely discouraged, for he said that a son would surely follow and professed to love Elizabeth.

Yet as war broke out with France, he left quickly and said to of brought his mistress with him to battle. After the campaign, the sweating sickness took hold and carried him to fast yet painful death. Anne, seemingly bitter at her husband's constant and recent rejection, shed tears only before the people. Her daughter, Elizabeth, was sent to her own personal manor, to be governed and raised over by a relative. And thus Queen Anne of Britain reigns over all her husband had once ruled over.




I have never had better opinions of woman than I had of her. — Thomas Cranmer, Archbishop of Canterbury, Anne Boleyn’s pastor and Boleyn family friend.

For her behaviour, manners, attire and tongue she excelled them all. — Lancelot de Carles

Her excellent grace and behaviour — George Cavendish, usher to Cardinal Wolsey, when explaining why Anne stood out from the rest of women at court.

She (Anne) knew perfectly how to sing and dance…to play the lute and other instruments. — Lancelot de Carles

Imbued with as many outward good qualities in playing on instruments, singing, and such other courtly graces, as few women were of her time. — William Thomas

I find her so bright and pleasant for her young age that I am more beholden to you for sending her to me than you are to me. — Archduchess Margaret of Austria, who trained Anne as a maid of honour in her household.

My Other Character

Title: Serving Maid Mabil "Mouse" Scot
Age: 19

Bio/Personality:
Mabil Scot is step-daughter to Randal Plunkett, 21st Baron of Dunsany. He took her mother, Elinor Scot, as his third wife, having already sired four girls to his previous wives. Mabil's mother was the only one to give him an heir, and therefore Mabil was tolerated. It was already a scandal that the Baron had married a widow, much less a Scottish widow. Mabil's father had died on a hunting trip when she was twelve, and her mother seemed to marry the Baron quite quickly and conveniently. Being tolerated was not the same as being loved, however. Mabil was allowed to study with the Baron's daughters given that she excel quickly. She was also given the hand-me-down dresses of her four step-sisters given that she be well mannered and most of all invisible, especially when a potential suitor came to call.

Mabil did mind. She enjoyed reading and learning of different places and times. It gave her a place to be whoever she wanted, in her dreams. Plain in looks, Mabil focused on studies, house work and her day dreams, while her elder sisters chased suitors and went off to court. And as the last of her elder sisters drifted to court or to their new husbands' manors, Mabil found that the Baron's home had become quiet lonely. There was no giggling in the hallways, or arguing in the kitchen, or even noise in the mending room. Everything had grown rather boring without her sisters' dramas.

But when Mabil turned eighteen, the Baron decided it was time for her to go to the courts as well, to find her own husband of course. However Mabil was a Scot, and not blood related to the Baron at all, Mabil had no rightful position in court. But, in order to leave the dreary manor, Mabil insisted she be sent to the palace, to be of some use to the Crown. So she was sent as a serving maid, lady-in-waitings being her sisters' rightful claim after all. Keeping her mother's previous married name, Mabil Scot, went into service at the palace without much of anyone's knowledge to whom was her step-father. Such knowledge would only sully her step-sisters' chances to marriage and create some sort of scandal.

But Mabil found her invisibility could be of use to her and even to her sisters. Since she was so common place, no one paid her much heed when gossiping or whispering. Secrets, lies, scandals, Mabil had access to them. Of course she only used her information when asked by her sisters, whether it be scandals or blackmail, Mabil always had some tasty tid bit. She was then dubbed "Mouse", for all her invisible scurrying about. Such stealth and slyness, the nickname made sense to her at least. Not that she'd ever do much harm herself. But every drama needs a mysterious whisper of lie or truth to push things along. Not to mention the ease in which she could sneak into rooms forbidden to most others. After all she is but a servant to the Crown and does as she is told....now doesn't she?

[/center]

Added information:

Actual History:
The Reformation saw the breaking away of the English Church from the Catholic Church in Rome in 1534 and the installation of King Henry VIII as its Supreme Head. The split from Rome made the English monarch the Supreme Governor of the English church by Royal Supremacy, thereby making the Church of England the established church of the nation. Doctrinal and legal disputes now rested with the monarch, and the papacy was deprived of revenue and the final say on the appointment of bishops.

RP History:
The Reformation saw the breaking away of the English Church from the Catholic Church in Rome in 1534 and the installation of Queen Anne as its Supreme Head. The split from Rome made the English monarch the Supreme Governor of the English church by Royal Supremacy, thereby making the Church of England the established church of the nation. Doctrinal and legal disputes now rested with the monarch, and the papacy was deprived of revenue and the final say on the appointment of bishops.

AKA It's a kind of Catholic Church that bends to the Royal's will, with no connection to be governed by the Pope. The Queen of England is hence forth sitting where the Pope would be at the head of the English Church.

________________________________________

As for plot it would be the French monarchy going against Queen Anne and an inner turmoil, since Anne has a mixed review from most people in court. Some many are enchanted, others abhor her. Some women find her angelic, others find her to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Britain is being slashed in two between Protestant and Catholics, those who support her and those who disclaim her as a false queen, not sanctioned by the Pope and Catholic church. Some think she might have hexed ,cursed or poisoned the previous queen, though she denies any involvement. So how shall you, the peers take sides? Are you for the strong and generous Queen Anne, or are you forever loyal to the Catholic Church. Or perhaps you are French as wish to take back you lands, in the name of your own King. Choose wisely, for whomever does not, they might mysteriously die, just as the previous queen did, or parish as the late king and his mistress were said to of. Is Anne a witch or a woman of power? And will France be in her graces for much longer? This is for the politic and fate to decide.



Please post CS here and once we have enough players we can get to the IC

[Partisan]

Alewijn de Bastaard

Name: Lord Geoffrey Alewijn
Alias(es): Alewijn the Bastard
Title(s): Knight
Allegiance(s): The Queen, and thus the subjects of France and England. Long live the Queen!
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Family:
- Jan Alewijn. (Father, alive)
- Beatrice (Mother, dead)
- Veronice (half-sister, alive)

Appearance:
- His hair is black for which he is ridiculed often, and very long for a man. It's pulled back and tied into a ponytail.
- He has a small pointy black beard, giving him a rugged look.
- Geoffrey has an average build, a bit of muscle showing in the arms but nothing too muscly anywhere.
- His eyes are brown, further proof that, along with his hair, he is not one true to the Alewijn family but only a half-fabricate.
- He regularily wears average clothes for a knight, very simple, little decorations, but of finer fabric than what the peasantry wears.
- Along with that goes a large leather belt, with a sheath on it where he keeps his sword. It's mainly there for decoration/ceremonial reasons.

Bio: Jan Alewijn was a Dutch nobleman under the service of Philip II of Spain, who at the time was busy centralizing his holdings in the Lowlands, levying higher taxes and enforcing religious unity. For Jan Alewijn this was not much a problem, he had sworn an oath of allegiance to his true king after all. A smart man once said that only one thing is certain in life, death and taxes and Jan agreed with this whole-heartedly. So he gladly paid the taxes, and gladly converted back to catholicism. A side product of Jan's wealthy life was a child named Geoffrey, a bastard that didn't have pure blue blood. He raised the son as his own and didn't make it a secret that it was a bastard. ''If we hide all the bastards, there would be no court left,'' he said once.

At the time Geoffrey was only ten years old, and didn't know much about religion. He simply followed whatever his father did. Nothing of interest happened in his younger years, it was much the same as any other noblemans child. He was only slightly hampered by the mark of a bastard, but managed to get through the education and training a nobleman needed without much problems. He would never get the respect that a blue blooded nobleman got, but being purple blooded was good enough for him. During his younger years he showed exceptional skill with a mace and shield, as well as the flail. His skills with a sword were mediocre at best. Over the years he improved vastly, but would never reach the skill the other knights-to-be had. He felt indifferent about this.

At Geoffrey's coming of age, he left his birthplace with his fathers blessing. He wandered Europe, and when he was 18 he had a long stay in the Jagiellonian kingdom. In 1529 he here witnessed the inauguration of the Duchy of Masovia into the Polish array of lands. In 1531 he fought in the battle of Obertyn, a battle between Moldavian and Polish soldiers, on the side of the Poles. They emerged victoriously and recovered long lost lands from Moldavia namely Pokutia. The only thing Geoffrey had to say about it was that warfare had obviously changed a lot. In late 1531 he thanked the Poles for his stay and travelled to Pomerania, where he boarded a merchant ship to England.

In England he was welcomed by the court as a welcome addition, for reasons unknown to Geoffrey as he didn't consider him welcome, nor an addition. Never the less he has stayed there for some time, offering his services whenever they were needed. Which, granted, was not that often. However, recent events such as the death of the King has led Geoffrey to believe that now is the time that he gets called to duty. If this were the case he'd swear fealty to the Queen, as he considered England as much his home now as he did Poland during his stay there.

Personality: Geoffrey is an angry person, unknown to the concept of love thus far as his life has only consisted of education, training and political and military campaigns. There was not much time for anything else than being angry. Over the years however he has calmed down in England and is much less angry. He is also very realistic and doesn't deal in ''humble'' or ''arrogant.'' He knows his skill set well and is not afraid to tell someone he is good at this, or bad at that.

He knows some political talking rules and can easily switch between knightly talk and warfare talk, however since he is not that experienced some slip ups are to be expected. Secretly these slip ups would shame him very much, but he wouldn't let that shine through.

Skills:
- Experienced warfare himself
- Very good with a mace/flail and shield.
- Very average with other weapons, mediocre with the sword.
- A good rider.
- Rides well even with heavy armor.

I hope this is good enough :)

[Skythikon]

Name: Vesa Svensson Nylund
Alias(es): The Peasant Knight
Title(s): Markgreve (Margrave) of Västergötland
Allegiance(s): The Kingdom of Sweden
Gender: Male
Age: 26
Family:
- Sven Nylund (Father, deceased)
- Vuokko Nylund-Virtanen (Mother, alive)
- Annika Svensdotter Nylund (Younger sister, alive)

Appearance:
- Stands at roughly 1.78 meters tall
- Slender build; slim appearance belies physical strength
- Angular face; looks as if he has constant, minute grin on his face.
- Pale skin
- Chestnut brown hair; cut just short enough to not be a nuisance. Still licks at the collar of his shirt and his ears. Fringe falls just shy of touching his eyebrows.
- Bright blue eyes

Bio: Unlike most nobles, Vesa and his sister do not boast any noble blood in their veins. They do not even claim noble lineage through even two generations, as it was their father who earned the title of Markgreve through blood and steel during the Russo-Swedish war of 1495, when Sweden was still a subject of the Kalmar Union. However, what Vesa and his sister do know is that their father did not allow his accession to the ranks of nobility to inflate his ego. Even while he ruled as Markgreve, he still plied his old trade of a blacksmith and even taught Vesa how to smelt, smith and repair weapons and armour pieces. Their father's insistence on remaining humble was taken to the extreme when he sent both Vesa and Annika to live with his friends within the peasantry of his March for a few months out of every year.

While this made their father out to be an oddity within the Swedish court - or any court around the world, for that matter - it did help to earn the love and adoration of the peasants. They worked harder than most, were willing to do more and were far more dedicated to their Markgreve than any other peasant living any other noble. This proved to be vital when Sweden decided that it wanted independence in late 1521. Although Vesa wished to fight alongside his father, he was only thirteen, and thus considered unfit for combat duty. However, he did contribute in a small way being his father's squire, helping him maintain and equip his armour, as well as sharpening his blades. His father's army proved themselves to be loyal to an almost suicidal extent on the field of battle, with entire companies fighting to the last man simply because they had not been ordered to fall back. Vesa saw all this firsthand, and a small part of him had wished that he had been standing alongside those men.

Eventually, the war ended in 1523, and Sweden became free of the Union in 1524. While the rest of Sweden celebrated, Vesa's family silently grieved. His father had died during the last battle of the war, while he personally led an attack on Kalmar forces in an effort to open up a corridor to allow his trapped men to escape. It was successful, but ultimately cost him his life. Vesa's mother succeeded him as the Margreve of Västergötland at the behest of Vesa himself. At that time, the last thing he wanted to be was a nobleman. He idolized the men who had stood at the front ranks during the Swedish War of Liberation rather than the nobles who stayed far behind or were surrounded by their own bodyguards in the heat of battle. The Swedish court, deciding that letting a child take control of a province in a new country would be a bad idea, agreed on the condition that Vesa take up the mantle of Markgreve when he turned eighteen.

As such, Vesa spent the next few years studying and training in the soldierly arts while his sister acquainted herself with the intricacies of court. By the time he was sixteen, Vesa was adept with the sword and dagger, but it was when firearms were introduced in the form of matchlock muskets did he shine. He proved himself to be a natural marksman, though it appeared his skills were limited to muskets and crossbows. When it came to the bow and arrow, his aim went from excellent to merely acceptable. He also continued his father's tradition of being one with the common folk, and it was not an unusual sight to see Vesa strolling through the villages of his March on his own. However, his heavy focus on martial affairs meant that when it was time for him to be Markgreve, he was woefully unprepared in the political department. The solution proved to be simple, Vesa and his sister would split affairs equally between themselves. Vesa would deal with internal and military matters while Annika would take care of anything relating to the Swedish court.

It was around this time that Vesa earned his moniker 'The Peasant Knight' for his friendliness towards even the lowest ranking soldiers and his humility. In fact, there were even times when visiting nobles would mistake Vesa for a footsoldier, or merely a military commander at best. While it amused Vesa to no end to see the flustered looks on the nobles' faces when he revealed himself as the Markgreve of Västergötland, he supposed there was some truth to their assumption. Vesa spent the bulk of his time training and drilling his soldiers in fighting as a unit. There was always the slight possibility that Denmark might try to force Sweden into becoming part of the Kalmar Union again, and even if they were not going to, there was no harm in merely being prepared.

The death of Henry VIII in England and the crowning of his widow as the Queen of England gave Sweden its first chance to play a role in international affairs. Everyone had heard of the weakening of the Catholic Church's power over England, and Sweden, being a Protestant nation, was keen to see England coming under the sway of the Protestant church. There was no way they could do it militarily, but as coincidence would have it, the Swedes had only recently sent an army into Scania to fight for the Protestant Christian III of Denmark against the Catholic supporters of his cousin, Christian II.

Vesa had been one of the military commanders serving in the Swedish army, and it was decided that he would be sent. To the Swedish court, there was no better person to send to England. There he would be, a Protestant noble fresh from a campaign against Catholic rebels, showing England that English Protestants not only had the backing of Sweden. Of course, there was the added benefit that Vesa's March would not fall into disarray with his absence. Even though he had been the one to be present at the Swedish court, everyone knew that it was his sister who wrote his speeches and influenced his decisions.

That said, as far as Vesa was concerned, he was being sent to England to simply show the world that Sweden was ready to show itself to the world. Whether or not the world was ready for Sweden was entirely up to them.

Personality: While Vesa is a friendly, affable person who has a predisposition towards witty remarks, his lack of social grace often ensures that he is left out of most conversations between nobles. His preference of using what is considered 'less-than-gentlemanly' language and the occasional slips into Finnish often made him a merely tolerated presence in the Swedish court, though few could disagree with the fact that he commanded one of the most well-trained and loyal armies of Sweden. As such, he is often seen as more of a General than an actual noble, and Vesa is quick to capitalize on this. His sister had once attempted to teach him the intricacies of political intrigue, and though she had failed in making him a proper noble, Vesa had picked up enough to know how to listen out for useful information.

Having spent most of his life among peasants, and even living alongside them at times, one of the easiest ways to earn his ire would be to witness a noble mistreating their servant or any peasant, for that matter. While Vesa knows enough about social grace to keep his swords sheathed and his mouth shut when seeing minor grievances, more serious ones would see him challenging the offending noble to a duel at worst, and letting loose a string of Finnish and Swedish expletives at best.

Vesa is also a rather humble person, always more than willing to speak to anyone as an equal, rank be damned. This can also be somewhat attributed to his own relatively low rank, being only roughly on par with a Count, if not just ever-so-slightly higher.

Skills:
- Skilled swordsman
- Good shot with the matchlock musket
- Excellent tactician
- Natural affinity with the lower-class
- Plays the violin

[Kho]

My computer crashed as I was writing my CS, so I'm going to have to start again, just feeling a bit lazy right now.

[Kho]

Name: William Egerton, the Elder

Alias(es): William the Uxorious/ The Uxorious Duke

Title(s): 1st Duke of Suffolk

Allegiance(s): Publically proclaims unswerving loyalty to Queen Anne

Gender: Male

Age: 38

Family:
Robert Egerton (Father, Deceased)
Mary Egerton (Mother, Deceased)
Edward Egerton (Brother, Deceased)
Margaret Brandson-Egerton (Wife, Deceased)
Isabella Egerton (Daughter, 18 years)
William Egerton, the Younger (Son, 16 years)

Appearance:



Bio: William Egerton is a cold, emotionless man. He has been a cold, emotionless man for sixteen years now. He remembers…he remembers very clearly how it happened. Before then…well, it is such a long time ago now. He can hardly remember the happy, energetic youth he once was.

Born to Robert and Mary Egerton, they were amongst the most influential members of the aristocracy, and remain so to a certain degree today. He enjoyed the finest in life and was an intelligent boy to boot - unlike his younger brother, Edward, who was only too good with a sword but was not quite there with wits.

Growing up William was always close with his father and would follow him on the many campaigns and diplomatic missions or visits to the royal court, and his energy and vitality never left him. The many tutors he had over the years always noted his positive outlook on life and none left him but was influenced by his contagious optimism. At eighteen, having been betrothed for a year, William married the love of his life, Margaret Brandson, daughter of the 1st Duke of Richmond and Somerset, Henry Brandson, though his happiness was marred by the sudden deaths of both his parents.

Within two years his first child was born, a girl whom they named Isabella and two years after their second child arrived, a boy who was named William, after his father. Little is known about what occurred on the night of Margaret’s death, not more than a week after William’s birth. The official narrative is that assassins attacked the manor where they were staying, at whose hands Margaret was killed. Those who were present in the manor remember no assassins, though they do say that there was a huge racket in the room his grace, and the screams of the duke and duchess as they struggled with – what is presumed to be – the assassins woke the entire manor. When the door of their room burst open and the duke emerged, blood gushing from an open wound in his side, all were shocked, even the guards stood frozen.

The duke was taken away and cared for. Upon inspection of the room, it became clear what had occurred. The windows were shut tightly, the duchess was on the bed, a bloodied scissor in her hands, and the cause of death was suspected to have been strangling. But those were rumours. The truth, from the duke himself, was that three assassins had broken in. His wife had bravely taken up a pair of scissors and stabbed one of the assassins before the other strangled her to death. The third assassin had struggled with the duke, stabbing him before all three realised there was no hope for success and had escaped.

William was never the same after that. His energy and vitality, his optimism and positivity…were gone like distant whispers on the wind, like the shadows of ghosts in the fog of time and history. His two children were brought up by him, though his relationship with his daughter has always been better than that with his son. If anything, his treatment of William, the Younger borders on cruel at times. None no why, and none dare ask.

During the late King’s campaign in France, William’s brother, Edward, took part. William had long foregone the sword and had become quite the apt political animal, with contacts everywhere at court and influence quite frightening. Edward died in France. When the news reached William he didn’t bat an eye.
“Ashes may to ashes, and dust may to dust, but oh, I do not see my flame yet quenched.”

Personality: A cold and calculating man. William is able to hide his emotions masterfully and nothing of his thoughts is ever allowed to be reflected in his physicality. He has trained before the mirror for so long that he knows each and every expression he makes, every movement of his is rehearsed and thought-out. While usually calm and collected, William is also quite an adept actor and can, when he so wishes, give the impression that he has flown into anger or his emotions have gotten the better of him. It is all an act, his life is layer upon layer of masks and lies and hypocrisy, but who is there who knows?

To the outside world, William is the staunch support of the crown, guardian of all things English, and unswerving supporter the royal famill.

Skills:
Quick of mind and wit
Well read
Master actor
Good speaker
Can handle a sword (though slightly out of practice)

[LovelyAnastasia]

All accepted.

[Partisan]

Crossing my fingers we can kick this off soon-ish!

[Major Ursa]

I'd join, but I'm not great with history...and the length of those CS are intimidating...
._.

[Partisan]

I don't think they are that long! As is noted in the interest check, this is not really a canon history, so as long as you get a wiki up somewhere and look up some basic info I think you should be fine. I also think you could ask for help, I wouldn't mind helping you out a tiny bit as long as you have a good idea of what kind of character you want!

[Major Ursa]

:|

[Partisan]

I'm not the one to ask :P

[Major Ursa]

LovelyAnastatia isn't in...
.-.
Well, forget I said anything...I'll just delete my stuff and go...

[Partisan]

You have an obligation to join now, it's your holy task! I'm sure Anastasia will be here soonish.

[LovelyAnastasia]

URSA~ *glomps* Hi hi~ Don't worry so much! Just do the best you can, just like Partisan said! These guys are just really good at historical things. But this plot is in another dimension, so it's fine if it isn't accurate or even canon. This is just loosely based on the Tudors.

[Kho]

Well, there are four of us, no one seems to be falling for our intcheck tricks :P I know if you start this now we'll still be able to make something great of it.

[februari]

I'd say your trick worked well enough, since it snared me. I'll get started on a CS.

[LovelyAnastasia]

Hehehe~ Look Kho one more~

I'd love to see your CS doll~

[Kho]

Haha, just as I gave up haha. Might just keep that trick going then :P
Great to have you here februari (I think I'll be calling you fab :P)

[Partisan]

cause he's FABULOUSSSS? Either way good to see more people. Kinda sad that Ursa hasn't come round yet..

[februari]

LovelyAnastasia said
Hehehe~ Look Kho one more~ I'd love to see your CS doll~

It's in my head and working its way to print. I am, however, traveling and typing it on a bluetooth keyboard, with keys clearly made for someone with fingers the size of a raccoon's. Regardless, I plan to have it up by tonight at the latest.