casper

'Til Death Do Us Part

Sam waited by the main doors of the school he attended. Teenagers exited in varying stages of excitement. Relieved to be free of the day, looking forward to the evening, making plans for the weekend. Girls gossiped and boys jostled. High school, a time when hormones rage and kids become adults. So young, yet trying to be old.

"Hey" called Sam as he stepped out as Brooklyn was leaving school with Ella. They were both fifteen, shy friends, now good friends. Sam had waited for Brooklyn and there was something stirring within him. He found himself waiting for Brooklyn more and more, he found himself wanting to be with her more regularly. He called on her daily whether finding a reason to hang out, exchanging a text or even telephoning her. 'We're just good friends' he said unconvincingly to his Mom and sister when they teased.

"Do you want to catch a movie tonight?" he asked them both, although the question was directed at Brooklyn really, and Ella knew it. Waiting for a response he fell into step with the girls easily, like a normal group of friends. "I'm bored at home and I need to cut loose tonight" he said ('play it cool' thought Sam although he was no James Dean!) trying not to come across as needy. Brooklyn once said 'he was not like other guys' and 'she felt safe around him'. Sam interpreted that to mean she thought he was gay and he didn't exactly dispel that as being 'safe' meant more time with Brooklyn.

The problem was Sam remembered every impression Brooklyn left on him, the hand on his arm as she laughed at his jokes. The sensation of their thighs touching as they sat close together over lunch. If Sam had any true friend other than Brooklyn he would have told them he 'loved' Brooklyn even though he hardly knew what that meant.

Sam ran. He saw Brookyln waiting by the side of the road with a pram. Inside the pram was a baby. Brooklyn started to cross the road on a drizzly morning. Sam ran. He saw the car from afar. He shouted, "Brooklyn!". She turned and looked at him. She smiled. Sam ran, faster, faster, faster. He outran the speeding car and leaped. He jumped like there was no gravity and pushed Brooklyn and the pram out of the way of the car. His Mom picked up the baby and smiled.

Sam walked through an old, oak wooden door. He entered into a small ante room where there was nothing except an alcove and a dusty, spiralling staircase. In the alcove was a statuette. The figurine was female, and clothed in white. There was nothing to go except down the staircase. Down, down, down. Round and round. Down, down, down, "Down, down, down" sang a female voice hauntingly. Sam walked and walked. At the bottom of the stairs Brooklyn was stood there by a garden gate. She was dressed in white (always in white). He followed her through a gate into a woodland glade. In the middle of the glade was a pool of clearest blue. Sam was naked and walked into the pool. Down, down, down. Strong feminine arms pulled him back up.

Louis graduated high school. Sam and Brooklyn held hands, proud of their boy. Sam looked at his wife. Her eyes and smile were the same. She was beautiful.

Sam was old. Brooklyn was sat by his bedside, holding his hand. It had been a good life.

Sam lit the fire in the cabin they had rented. The snow fell outside, but inside was warm. Louis was fast asleep. Fresh air and hiking had tired them all out and it was the kind of rather fulfilling exhaustion that came from physical endeavour rather than mental and emotional tiredness. Brooklyn had stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a red towel, drying her hair with another.

"Come here gorgeous," he said smiling, biting his bottom lip. He walked over to her and placed his hands around her, resting in the small of her back. He lightly kissed her, their lips slowly coming together.

Sam drifted....

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Sam rubbed his eyes. He could hear a baby crying. He looked around the room, cloaked in darkness. 'Why am I sleeping on the couch?' he wondered before he sat up fully. Then the horror hit him. He was alive. Brooklyn wasn't. She was dead. Gone. He closed his eyes. 'Please let me sleep, please let me sleep' he begged. She was there in his dreams. In his dreams they were always together. She would always be there. 'Let me sleep. Let me die. Let me never wake up. I just want this pain to stop.' His thoughts dragged him to despair almost immediately.

Reality was 'no Brooklyn' and it felt awful. His heart had been given to another and she had gone, holding his heart always.

Louis cried and Sam felt ashamed that he wanted to die too. He walked into his room and picked him up and soothed him.

"I'm sorry son," he said as a tear dripped from his cheek onto Louis' sleepsuit as Sam changed him. Louis giggled and kicked out, his ankle dropping into his own faeces. Sam laughed and held Louis' legs up by the ankles. He wiped him clean and put a new diaper onto him. He kissed Louis, "I'll tell you something Junior, you keep an eye out for your old dad and I'll keep an eye out for you kiddo. You're going to keep me going Son. If it weren't for you I don't know what I'd do."

Sam fed Louis and put him back to bed. He walked back into the living room and grabbed the blanket his Mom had put on him. He walked back into Louis' bedroom and laid on the floor next to his crib and pulled the blanket over him. He tried to sleep, but his eyes couldn't leave the boy. Sam watched the babe's chest rise and fall, the sound of his breathing breaking the silence. Sam slowly noticed sliver's of grey break underneath the night curtains.

A new day was dawning yet it all felt so hopeless. Sam wished he could shrink and climb into Louis' crib. He wanted to hold him and cuddle him. He wanted to be a baby, he wanted to feel safe. 'Come back Brooklyn'.

'Til Death Do Us Part

Eventually Sam returned to his feet. Chad wanted to drive him to his home so he and Ella could take care of him. He was soaked through, looking past things and into the distance, lost in his thoughts of the last twenty-four hours. A light rain had begun to fall and only the swish and light scrape of the windscreen wipers broke the silence.

"Take me home," said Sam quietly. "I want to be with Louis." he said, his voice empty of feeling.

Chad turned the car around and drove slowly back to Brooklyn and Sam's house. A pained expression past Chad's face as he thought, 'just Sam's house now'. He felt how much he wanted to be home with Ella too, his dear wife was heartbroken also and then he felt guilt, like he was abandoning Sam.

At Sam's home Chad said, "call us if you need us, for anything," before adding, "I'm so sorry Sam, I truly am."

Sam could do nothing but nod. He understood but he was wrapped in his own disbelief. He couldn't process the fact that beautiful, funny, amazing Brooklyn was gone. The mother of their baby was gone. He looked up to the sky and thought about cursing God Himself and flashes of disdain crossed his mind as he thought that no god would take away Brooklyn. He put his key in the door and breathed in.

He entered the living room and saw Louis playing happily with his toys on his play mat. Sam's mom smiled. She looked exhausted and drained. Sam sat by his mother and put his arms around her, "Thank you Mom, thank you."

And Sam genuinely meant it. For a few moments he felt the love of his Mom, the love of Louis, the warmth and friendship of Chad and even the cop who whilst doing his job helped him through the morning. He felt love, as though a ray of sunshine was trying to pierce the gloom of a darkened sky. It was the first chink in the day that perhaps, one day there would be hope.

Sam picked up Louis and set him on his knee, "Hiya Champ," he said quietly as the boy returned a smile. Sam looked around the room and was pained by the things he saw, Brooklyn's things. Her presence was everywhere. The pieces she had drawn and put up, the magazine she had been reading, the notepad she jotted 'inspirations' down on to. Sam wished that she was the most untidy person in the world because all of her things would be scattered around. She'd be with him all the time.

Patty broke the silence. "Son, you're not going to want to eat but I know you haven't and you need to. You also need to sleep. I'll be here for as long as you need me. I won't let you go Sam. Now hear this, Brooklyn was a wonderful woman who loved you two like crazy. You may never truly get over her but this pain will change. You're in shock, it'll get worse before it gets better but you'll survive. You'll be a great father and my grandson will know his parents always loved him. Now, I'm going to make you a drink and a sandwich, try and eat it but don't worry if you can't. The sun will rise tomorrow."

Both Sam and Patty had lost all concept of time. It was actually only late afternoon but their night and day of hell had disorientated them both. As Patty went to the kitchen Sam walked with Louis to his room.

Inside the boy's bedroom Sam looked around. They'd both decorated this room, the nursery but what made it special were the paintings on the walls. They were all illustrations from Brooklyn's hand. It was like a gentle fantasy land with happy children and animals. The thought crossed Sam's mind that this room was Heaven. Sam did something he hadn't done for a long time....

"God," he said quietly and self-consciously (after all he wasn't a regular church attender and wasn't sure what he believed on a good day).

"If you exist and you're listening, look after Brooklyn for me. She'll make upstairs better for you, I promise. She was born an angel and she died an angel. Keep her safe and tell her I love her and always will." A small tear rolled down Sam's cheek. Sam then picked Louis up as the boy looked on curiously and held him aloft, "Brooklyn, if you can hear me babe. I wanted to be your husband so much, I've adored you since we were kids. You were my first love and only love. The first girl I kissed, you're my everything. This house we have, the family we started, it's all you. You gave us our beautiful boy. I can't be believe in God because why would God take you and yet I can believe in Heaven because it's where you have to be. I am so, so sorry I couldn't get to you. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you and save you. I hope you can forgive me, sweetheart. So, if you can hear me Brooklyn I ask just one thing from you."

"Look after Louis. Watch over him and protect him always. Shine your love on him every day. You'll always be here, you'll always be with him. Look after him."

Sam hugged Louis tight and kissed him. Louis tugged on Sam's ear which brought a sad smile to Sam's face. Sam carried Louis back to the living room where a sandwich and cup of cocoa was sat there. The sandwich looked like the blandest thing on earth. He couldn't comprehend even picking it up and having a bite. His Mom smiled at him as Sam sat on the couch with Louis on his chest and Sam closed his eyes.

A few moments later Louis was picked from Sam's chest and into the arms of Grandma. Sam thankfully descended into restful oblivion - for a few hours at least.

'Til Death Do Us Part

Three hours. Three hours the police went over his story. Sam co-operated throughout although he was barely there. They talked about Brooklyn as though she wasn't there, as though she was gone. That wasn't true, he waved goodbye to her just yesterday evening.

His eyeballs rolled as he closed his eyes. He remembered how she smelt, his nostrils flared imperceptibly at the scent of her perfume with it's hints of cucumber, reminding him of cut grass with a floral headiness. He couldn't remember the scent, it was Brooklyn. When she left the house she smelt clean, he could smell the coconut soap she used, the way her hair smelt. It was pronounced because most of the time they both, and their house smelt like soiled diapers, baby sick and medicated cream. Baby formula sick - there was nothing like it...

"Mr. Hanson, [I]Sir![/]"

The voice broke Sam's reverie and he remembered where he was. Back in the interview room going over again and again about his and Brooklyn's last moments. A tired Chad, from time to time pointed out to the officer interviewing them that the information had previously been provided freely and that this constituted harassment. At the time Sam just answered when he was aware. All he could think of was turning his head and looking down the aisle to see his angel dressed in white. Seeing her sparkling eyes and beautiful smile. 'I do' and a sweet lingering kiss then dancing together wrapped in their own world as friends and family look on. A tottering Louis joining Mom and Dad on the dance floor as they laugh and welcome the little man in. He placed his head in his hands and wailed as he recalled that image of his beautiful fiancée laid on that cold metal slab. The white dress he wished he had never seen her in...

"One more time. From the time Miss. Jones left your house to the time you first contacted us. Did you leave the house?"

"No." whimpered Sam

"Was it normal for Brooklyn to leave it so long without contacting you?"

"No. It wasn't."

"So you left it late before contacting the police?"

"What the fuck!" raged Sam, the tiredness kicking in and suddenly becoming animated. Chad's hand firmly gripped Sam's arm to keep him in his chair. "It was you who told me not to worry when I called. It was you who said she'll turn up. You wouldn't even go out and fucking look for her whilst she was dead. Dead in a fucking ditch." Sam sat again and began to sob. "She's dead..." he said as he wailed.

The cop interviewing stood and paced around the room. It had been a truly awful day for him too. Although the crash was probably an accident it was part of the job to interview those hurt most. He'd heard of killer's caught in those first few hours following a death because they couldn't cope with the stress of the interview, the horror of what they had done. It was a horrible fact that murders were committed usually by a known friend or family member. They had to ascertain whether he knew anything. Still, he was at his front door this morning and he had gone through the process with Sam a few times now. This boy knew nothing and was no killer. It broke his heart to have to go through this.

It was still early afternoon when Sam was released from the station although time had ceased to seem relevant. He walked out, lost and bewildered.

"I'll drive you home," said Chad softly as he opened the door for Sam. Sam turned and looked at the lawyer who'd just given him so much.

"Ella? Why didn't she call? Why didn't she check? Why didn't she call me? We could have found her, we could have saved her. She was laid in that cold, all alone and none of the people who loved her were there for her. Why didn't she call!"

Sam was desperate. Brooklyn could have been saved if just one of them had phoned or texted. At that moment he felt he could never forgive himself or Ella for not checking that poor Brooklyn wasn't safe.

"Take me there."

"What?" replied Chad incredulously.

"Take me there. Where she died. I have to see the place."

"No, that's really not a good idea Sam. Leave it be for now Sam. You need some rest my friend," replied Chad sympathetically.

"Take me there. I have to see. I have to be where she was. I have to go."

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Half an hour later a young man was on his knees by the side of the road. The slush of the previous day's snow soaking his legs. He was staring ahead at a splintered tree down hill. All sharp exposed edges, warped and jagged. The area was wrapped in police tape like some kind of twisted Christmas gift. There was no sign of the vehicle that was here overnight having been removed for further investigation. Sam fell, prostrated into the snow lost for answers to questions he couldn't even formulate.

A European player

Welcome Blue! I'm new here and I think there are quite a few Europeans here although most of the activity is Stateside. It shouldn't matter too much unless you want to post lots of times per day.

'Til Death Do Us Part

"It's alright baby, it's alright," said Sam as he hugged Louis on the floor of his living room. He wrapped his arms around the boy and tried to envelop him with all the love in the world. He wanted to protect him, keep him safe as he cried. Louis gurgled and his eyes flickered as though he knew something the rest of the room didn't. Like all babies, and most pets to be honest they had a sense when things were not right and although they couldn't convey it verbally they knew what was going on.

"Mr. Hanson, sir?" the police officer said breaking Sam's thoughts. "We'd like you to come to the hospital with us please. We will need someone to identify the body."

"You can't be serious! Look at him!" interjected Patty, "he's not in any condition to do this."

"Madam, it really is for the best to do this as soon as possible. It won't get easier for him." replied the officer gently. "Can you look after the baby for a while?"

Patty nodded her head as the officer continued, "Sam, I need you to acknowledge that you understand what I am asking you. We are going to the hospital to identify the body. All you need to do is nod your head if it is Miss Jones. That will be enough. It will be the hardest thing you will ever need to do but it will be quick."

"I also need you to understand that we may need to ask you to come to the station and answer some questions. We know you called late last night and came in again later. We'll need you to do your best to tell us as much as possible. How Miss Jones was feeling, what time she left. We may ask you about your relationship with her and your movements last night. I know you told us you were looking for her last night. We'll need to know where and when you went places. Do you understand what I've just said to you?"

Sam could hear the words but not truly take them in. He nodded his head, feeling distraught and confused.

"Can't you wait a while?" implored Patty, "He doesn't know what's going on."

"Come on Sam," said the officer leading him towards the door.

"Louis, he needs changing, and he needs his breakfast and..." said Sam distractedly.

"It's okay son, I'll be here." said Patty, her own heart breaking to see her boy so desolate.

Sam felt abstract from the whole world, like he was out of his body looking down on this terrible event as though it wasn't him. The whole immediate stress of the news had led him to disassociate from what was going on. His soul was lost, his body just flesh and blood. The safest place was not to be here. To come back was to feel all the pain in the world.

He somehow found his sneakers and jacket and kissed Louis before leaving the house. At the door he felt himself come back to the present and the horror of what had happened to him came back to the forefront of his mind. 'Brooklyn' he thought as he imagined her face, her smile, her laugh. His heart ripped open again, like strong hands were physically tearing at the muscle and pulling it open. He had a memory of his fingers interlocked with Brooklyn as they walked by the river bank on a warm sunny day, the sunlight reflecting on her face. He felt her fingers gently slipping away, softly moving away before disappearing into nothingness......

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At Ella's and Chad's house the two soulmates sat at the kitchen table crying and holding each other.

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By the freezing roadside on a cold morning a recovery truck was on standby, the ambulance had left some time ago. Police officers and forensic teams were analysing the area. Snow covered everything but deep in the steep ditch was the ugly scar of the motor vehicle smashed and mangled against the tree. It was as though there Mother Nature had fought back against the disturbance to it's peace. A hulk of twisted metal. Human wreckage. Emotional wreckage.

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On a cold metal gurney lies a young woman. She is at peace, resting. Her eyes closed. She looks virginal, laid straight, her body covered in a white blanket up to her neck. Her face, pale and cold is marked by sharp lines, red and brown in contrast to her face. Her long brown hair has fallen around her. A young man, exhausted, distraught, black circles around his eyes nods once and turns to cry into the taller man beside him. His tears staining the uniform as the man leads him away.

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An interview room. "Yes," "uh-huh," a shake of the head. Patience, frustration.

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This isn't happening. I love you, iloveyou,iloveyou,iloveyouloveloveloveyou. Why? Nononono. Baby, why?why?why?

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A tired and emotional Chad walks into the police station.

"You're interviewing my client Mr. Sam Hanson. You will stop the interview right now and then we'll start again with his counsel present."

Chad is professional, yet fraught.

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Chad and Sam hug as Sam, bewildered, wonders what the hell has happened in the last twenty-four hours. He holds Chad and wishes Brooklyn was with him. 'Why isn't she here?' 'I need you.' 'Where are you?' Sam sees Brooklyn as she was before Louis, when they spent lazy Sunday mornings in bed kissing his chest as she giggled at the goofy joke they just shared. He watches Brooklyn soothing Louis when he's cranky. Sam call's him 'Mommy's Boy'. 'He's not a Mommy's Boy anymore! thinks Sam as he wails. 'Why has she gone? Why has she done this to us? Sam is angry and his fists clench. A washing over of guilt as he feels ashamed that he is thinking only of himself and he imagines the pain his beloved must have been in. That empathy, of Brooklyn in pain punches him so hard it feels like a demolition ball has smashed into his chest. The idea that Brooklyn suffered rips his heart open even more. 'I hate this and I want to fucking die so I can be with her'

Chad soothes Sam a little, "we're going to have to do this Sam, and I'll help you."

Right now Sam couldn't care less. He just wants to be with Brooklyn....

'Til Death Do Us Part

Sam heard the knocks, they were slow and heavy, like a swinging hammer striking a gong. They were ominous. At the sight of the police officer walking up the drive Sam knew. He could have been reporting Brooklyn's whereabouts, that she was safe, that she was in hospital, heck that she'd got wasted and been arrested. All of them, but Sam knew.

It felt like aeons as Sam stood and walked to the door - his fate predetermined. He knew he could neither affect what had happened to his dear sweet love, nor stop himself from walking closer and closer to answer the door.

All of this took place in a few seconds and the knocks really weren't loud but for Sam it felt like a death knell, walking into hell on earth.

Sam answered the door. The police officer stood there straight before him. He was tall, older than Sam although his face wore some signs of strain. Every police officer knew delivering this message was part of the job, wearing the badge, but none of them relished it.

"Mr. Samuel Hanson sir?" he asked. Sam could only nod, his mouth slightly agape.

"Mr. Hanson, may I come in?" the officer asked gently.

Sam regained his composure a little, "It's Brooklyn isn't it. She's hurt isn't she?"

"Sir, if I can just come in..."

"Tell me, tell me..." Sam implored.

The officer breathed in, "Mr Hanson, you reported your fiancée Brooklyn Jones missing last night. We've had a report of a vehicle matching your fiancée's involved in an accident on Mistlea Road." ('oh God, that's the road to Ella's' thought Sam)

"Please, let me come in sir... they've retrieved a young woman's body from the car..."

Sam felt his knees immediately buckle and his legs begin to crumble as he felt the loss of all bodily feelings and sanity. "No, no, no!" he wailed angrily as tears streamed down his face, "No!" he cried as he instantly felt the warmth of his son on his shoulder and his paternal instinct kicked in and stopped him falling to the floor.

"Poor baby, poor baby, poor Louie" he cried as he walked around his living room. "Poor Brooklyn, poor baby. NO!!" he shouted in despair. He gently placed Louis on his playmat, no matter how messed up this moment was his first instinct was to place his baby, their baby in a place of safety.

He sat on the couch his head between his hands as the tears fell, snot dripping from his nose as whelps of sadness poured from him. He didn't look up but he could sense his mother in the room. What did surprise him was a masculine hand on his shoulder as the police officer showed stoic compassion, silent but reassuring. Sam until the previous night had never interacted with the police but that moment of tenderness challenged all his views he had about the men and women in uniform.

"It might not be her," he heard his mother whisper, rather stupidly in retrospect.

"OF COURSE IT'S FUCKING HER!" he shouted in fury with the kind of temper one can only unleash on those they love dearly.

"I'm sorry Mom, I'm sorry, I shouldn't..." he said as he walked over and hugged her, crying into her shoulder, "I'm sorry... LYNNIE, LYNNIE, LYNNIE!"

Sam strode off in a circle and punched in fury the door to the kitchen, then struck his head, pulled his hair before falling onto the floor. He crawled, whimpering over to the Louis, the babe looking on bemused. Sam, crawled close to Louis and cuddled him, crying and whimpering.

His life was over.

'Til Death Do Us Part

"Stay there son, stay there" Patty Hanson's voice was calm and reassuring as she spoke to Sam in a tone only mother's can. "I'm coming round. I'll be there in less than half an hour."

Patricia Hanson was a lean woman in her late forties. She worked hard, juggling service jobs around, cleaning, waitressing, bar work but now her kids were grown up she was able to ease back a little. Once quite striking, she had the eyes and lines of someone who worked the early and late shifts whilst bringing up kids more or less on her own. She gathered her coat and car keys and set off across town to see her little boy. She was terribly proud of Sam, he'd grown into a kind, considerate young man and she was delighted he'd become a father. She doted on Brooklyn and Louis as if they were her own children. She was concerned at the fear in Sam's voice. It was more than fear, it was confusion because Brooklyn wouldn't stay out late, Brooklyn would call. She could hear the worry in his voice.

Meanwhile Sam was getting more frantic in the house. He called Ella back.

"Ella, my Mom is coming over to keep an eye on Louis. I'm going to drive the route to yours then turn back. Then I'm going to look around town for her. If you see or hear anything call me. If she's upset or distressed about anything you don't need to betray a confidence but try and let me know she's safe... and that I love her"

Ella hadn't gone back to bed. She too was worried. She felt guilty too, that she should have called Sam at home. Checked where she was. She should have known something was wrong. Ella woke her husband Chad, who had a perturbed look on his face.

"I'll help" he whispered to Ella, getting dressed. His face was ashen and cold as he imagined how distraught and frightened he would be if he was in Sam's position right now as he looked at his own scared wife.

"Tell Chad thanks" said Sam as he looked out of the window to see if his mother was near. Sam and Chad weren't close friends but they got on well enough due to their wives friendship. In the years that followed Sam realised that Chad was a rock that night and true friendship grew out of total despair.

When Sam's mother arrived she hugged him and held him tight, holding that closeness for a few seconds more despite Sam's impatience. She kissed him, "she'll be okay son" she said gently as Sam went to Louis's crib and kissed the sleeping boy lightly.

"Daddy's gonna bring Mommy home" he whispered as he left the house into the cold night.

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Sam drove the relatively short route to Ella's house. They lived on the outskirts of the town, where the road cut trough a short wood, built through the valley of hills that surrounded the town. It was a beautiful place to hike in summer but now the black hills and trees were coated with snow. The wipers worked furiously trying to keep the snow off and Sam struggled to see. 'Shit, I hope she's not out here' he thought as the felt the temperature visibly drop. He would never drive at this time of night in these temperatures normally but this was not a normal time.

At Ella's house he was told there was no sign of her and Chad had headed into town to look for Brooklyn's car and he'd call back. Sam turned around and drove into town, cruising the streets. He stopped at any businesses open, the few bars were shutting for the night. He asked around if anyone had seen Brooklyn. He got out and walked, accosting the few drunks and homeless people asking them if they had sighted his angel to no avail.

Sam called in at the police station and spoke to the cop who had dismissed him earlier. His very presence in the station forced the cop to take some details, Brooklyn's description, her car and so one.

"Son, it's Christmas. She may be out partying, she may be taking some time out. We see it every year. They always come back son" said the cop, feeling a little sorry for the frantic boy in front of him.

"Go home, get some rest. We'll get your wife's description out to our patrols and keep an eye out for her. You go home and wait for her to come back. If she hasn't returned by first light we'll get a search party out."

Sam was now past angry and past frantic. He was feeling defeated. He left the police station, but rather than go home he drove around the town for a few hours more before he felt he was almost asleep at the wheel.

At four a.m. he arrived home, black rings around his eyes. His mom was feeding Louis and she 'shushed' him as he entered. 'Anything?' he mouthed to his mom although he knew the answer.

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Sam didn't sleep, he didn't rest. He sat in a chair in the living room watching the hours go by. Louis had awoken and was having his breakfast feed when he saw the patrol car pull up outside.

'Oh God, oh Jesus, please God, no, no....' he thought as the stony faced patrol man walked to his door and knocked heavily.

'Til Death Do Us Part

@sweetserenity

Life couldn't be better for Sam. The last few years had lined up perfectly for him. He'd got through school, got through college and was lucky enough to be earning money in a job he enjoyed. Most of all, he shared the life with Brooklyn. Brooklyn, his best friend in his teens. Brooklyn, who he shared that first tentative, shy kiss. Brooklyn, the woman of his dreams. And now Brooklyn, his fiancée.

Sam often thought he should have been earning more, building a career, providing, but the truth was although he didn't earn much they had enough to get by. They had a perfect little home and never had to worry about the next bill. He realised he was far luckier than many people in town. The last year had been truly wonderful. Sam would never forget that moment when Brooklyn came out of the bathroom with that little bit of plastic, her smile beaming. He was going to be a father. He was both elated and terrified at the news. He didn't realise he could love Brooklyn any more than he already did but when he looked at her and realised their child was growing inside her he felt like he was going to explode in a torrent of love. At that moment he looked at his gorgeous, beautiful girlfriend and saw Brooklyn, friend, Mom, wife.....

Other's may have thought otherwise but the only thing on Sam's mind when he heard the news of the baby was, 'I want Brooklyn to be my wife, I want to be with her forever'. Although common sense would have Sam keep his small savings in the bank he raced out the following day and bought Brooklyn the nicest engagement ring he could find in the small town jewellers, one that would suit her long delicate, slender fingers.

The following Sunday he rose early and cooked breakfast for Brooklyn. He brought the tray upstairs and laid it before her. At that moment his eyes swam with affection towards her. She looked sleepy, her long hair rested on her face. She would think him mad if he said she was the most beautiful woman on earth but it was true - she was.

He sat on the bed, and sang... rather badly,

'Brooklyn, oh Brooklyn, I love you baby
But baby, I need to know, maybe?
I wanna be with you for the rest of my life,
I'm so glad you're going to be my wife

Sam laughed and looked a little perturbed. "I'm not sure that was meant to come out like that" he said abashed before laughing and kneeling before her at the bedside.

He looked at the engagement ring on her finger and recalled that moment, her whispered 'yes' and the trying on of the ring which seemed like the culmination of all their life before it. Sam, Brooklyn and bump couldn't be happier.

Winter turned to spring and summer rolled in gently. Sam and bump were getting on famously and he doted on Brooklyn like she was made of porcelain, much to her occasional admonishment. July 16th and out popped Louis. He announced his joining of the family with a loud yell and Sam's overwhelming memory was the first words uttered by Brooklyn, "is he alright?". She was a natural mother. Sam held his son in the air and promised him that he would love him and protect him forever.

No one is ever truly prepared for parenthood but nevertheless Sam and Brooklyn settled into being Mom and Dad quite easily. Louie was a good baby. Sure, he had a good set of lungs on him and he didn't hang around when he needed a feed but he was quite a content baby. Brooklyn worked from home and Sam worked sociable hours at the library so he was home often and being a young father his colleagues cut him some slack when he yawned in the presence of visitors.

Hallowe'en came around and Brooklyn bought Louie a costume, but the biggest surprise was the hot nanny that was looking after him for the day. Sam smiled at his beautiful 'to-be'. Whilst Louie took up most of their time he still made sure he showed Brooklyn he was the woman he loved. He'd sneak up behind her and wrap his arms around her body and gently kiss the back of her neck. She fit perfectly in the crook of his body as they lounged on the couch. Most evenings were snatches of sleep with Louie needing his feeds but Sam surprised himself the way he looked at Brooklyn sometimes. He still lusted after her, she was still sexy and he wanted her in the way that you did when you loved someone. Post-Louie, Brooklyn seemed 'more' woman than ever. Not that Sam knew a whole lot about that. Brooklyn was his first and only girlfriend so his experience of other women was zero. That didn't matter because they fit together perfectly and they were the most perfect fit ever.

What excited Sam especially was Christmas. Louie's first Christmas, their first family Christmas. Sam put on a whole level of expectation onto himself with Christmas. Mom had gone a great job for him and Jen, year after year, spending money she couldn't afford to make it special but Sam was old enough to remember the years Dad was still about. Dad. The no-good, long gone bastard. Dad, who made Christmases perfect, who sang carols, carved the turkey. Dad....

Sam was occasionally ensconced in the garage. He had downloaded some instructions from the internet, bought some brand new tools, wood and paint and had his little project. He was making his own rocking horse for Sam. He knew full well that Brooklyn would mention Louie was far to small for it. He also knew that Brooklyn would love it. It was a work of progress and looked like some kind of zombie, post apocalyptic wooden horse but damn, it made Sam feel like Dad.

It wasn't long before Christmas and Brooklyn was heading out for the evening. With the new baby they'd had hardly any time together and Brooklyn had even less with her friends. She deserved some time out more than anything. Sam really liked Ella, Brooklyn's best friend. She was a lovely woman and a kind person. She was funny, yet forthright and always had Brooklyn's interests at heart. Sam was glad that they had each other.

Somewhat selfishly, Sam was glad Brooklyn was out for a few hours. He loved her dearly but really valued being alone with Louie. 'Dad and Lad' time he called it as he dreamed of all the cool stuff he would do with his boy as he grew into a man. He felt a little guilty at his thoughts and as he gave Louie his bedtime feed and settled him he realised he was already missing Brooklyn. The chance of a few hours quiet in the house allowed Sam to wrap Brooklyn's Christmas gifts and hide them but even so, once that was complete he knew he was missing her. It had only been a couple of hours and he wondered if he was becoming overly needy.

It was close to 11 p.m. and Brooklyn wasn't home yet. He wasn't overly concerned. Gosh, she needed some time out and it had been a while since she had quality time with Ella.

11.15 p.m. - Sam picked up his phone and dialled Brooklyn. He got her voicemail. He didn't know it but her voice on that voicemail would haunt him forever. "Hey hon, just checking you're okay. See you in a bit". Sam still wasn't concerned - she was probably driving home as he called.

11.45 p.m. - 'Where was she?'. It was not like Brooklyn to be this late without sending a message. He phoned her again and got her voicemail and suddenly he had an irrational fear that something was not right. He phoned Ella, who answered the phone sleepily,

"yeah"
"is Brooklyn with you still?"
"What? No Sam, no. She never came round. I thought she forgot"
"Brooklyn never forgets. She'd never bail on you. Why didn't you call me?". Sam was exasperated and irrational and knew he shouldn't have snapped at Ella.
"You guys have a fight or something Sam? You're not making much sense" replied a clearly tired and confused Ella.
"no, she was fine, happy. Really looking forward to seeing you. She's missing Ella. Missing. I'm calling the police. Don't move Ella in case she comes around"

Ella wanted to reply for Sam to stay calm, to think it through but she spoke into emptiness as Sam had hung up. She went upstairs to wake her husband because now she was worried too about her bed friend.
"She isn't here. Something's happened..."

Sam was frightened and worried. He tried to rationalise. Maybe she had a tyre out. Maybe her battery was dead. Maybe she wanted to be alone for a bit.

He phoned the police to report his fiancée missing.

"Yeah, yeah. She'll turn up. We don't treat anyone as missing until they've been gone 24 hours." Sam knew he was receiving short shrift from the police. Young woman out past midnight the week before Christmas. It was hardly unusual. He found himself getting angry with the cop and realised he was getting nowhere.

12:30 a.m. - "Mom"
"Mom, I'm sorry to wake you. Brooklyn hasn't come home. I'm worried about her. Can you come over and look after Louis. I need to go find her."

Sam paced the room and looked out of the window as the snow fell and felt terror. Like she wasn't safe. Please be safe. Please be safe babe....

Let's B!tch. I feel it's a healthy release for our roleplay annoyances 2.0

My pet grumble is GM's who create exceptionally detailed sandbox towns to play in with various plots of interest. The players ignore said plots and turn into 1-1 hook-ups. Inevitably player attrition develops and you have a bunch of people lost, in need of a cold shower etc. Meanwhile, the GM who put the place together initially effectively gives up on helping others make the place interesting.

Perhaps the flounce was in response to everyone going to the corners to cuddle rather than interact with the setting...

Sum up your week in roleplaying in just 3 words

Watching paint dry