Dream Land, King Dedede's Castle
King Dedede, self-proclaimed ruler of Dream Land, sat on his throne, arguing with
Customer Service on a video call. The King slammed his pudgy fists onto the arms of his throne before pointing at the man on the screen.
"Look, I ain't askin' for much! Just send me a monstah that can clobba Kirby! And non 'a these duds you keep sendin'!"
"Sorry, Triple-D, no can do. We can't send you a new monster until you settle your account's balance, an-"
"Cram it! You've got that money-back guarantee for a reason, aintcha?!"
"Sure, King Dedede... but you have to actually give US money to get any back."
Sighing and pinching the bridge of his beak, Dedede returned his attention to the screen.
"Look, what've ya got fa cheap? Somethin' big, an' powerful!"
"King Dedede, I'm afraid NightMare Enterprises just doesn't do powerful monsters on the cheap."
"After a hundred monsters that turned out to be flops, I don't think you do powerful monsters at ANY price."
A snail by King Dedede's throne spoke up. "Look, this isn't the King's limousine, so we don't need your latest model! Dontcha have something cheaper? Say, a used monster?"
The man on the screen thought for a moment. "...A used monster you say? Sorry, but I'm afraid that's a little out of NME's ballpark. But there's this guy who used to do accounting for us. He's opened up a service that might have what you're looking for. I'll call him and get things set up, so sit tight."
The screen faded to black, retracting into the ceiling. Escargoon leaned in to whisper to the King.
"Your majesty, are you really sure this is actually a thing? I mean, all the monsters we use explode when they're beaten! There's no way they can get used monsters!"
"'A course there ain't no way they could get a used EXPLODED monsta! That means the monstas ain't exploded, which means they ain't lost! No more 'a those duds! Yessiree, this is gon be a bone-a-day-fee junkyard dog of a beast!"
The King laughed as his retainer rolled his eyes. After an awkward silence, the screen descended, showing a white-furred
dog-man in front of a two-headed eagle symbol. "Greetings, your majesty! My name is Finster, and I am a representative for Shocker+'s monster rental service. It is an honor to have royalty as our first customer. I'm pleased to say that I have been authorized to give you a free sample from our monster catalog. It's the least we can do for such an incredible patron."
"Aw, shucks, Fido! Just lemme see that there catalog and we'll call ya back when we're ready to order."
The screen shut off again, a Waddle Dee bringing the catalog to King Dedede. After a few moments thumbing through, he turned to Escargoon.
"Ya know, a lot of these monstas look mighty different from the ones NME gives us. Might be good to try somethin' new! Like... Frytrap! Half carnivorous plant, half flamethrower!"
"Ugh, pass, your majesty. You want to deal with Fire Kirby again?"
"That's a good point. How about... Snow Wolf?"
"Ick. Probably just a pallete swap of Flame Leo. How about... this! Starfish Hitler!"
"...I dunno. I don't like the look of it"
"...Now that you mention it, I'm getting serious bad vibes from it too."
"Movin' on. We're lookin' at this all wrong Escargoon. We shouldn't be basin' this decision on keepin' Kirby from gettin' a power... We just need to give him a useless one! Like... this."
The two began snickering, before diving headlong into a hearty maniacal laugh.
The Dreamland Super-Official 8-ball Pool Invitational Tournament
"This stinks!"
"Come on, sis, it's just a game."
"Yeah, a game set up by that nasty ol' King Dedede! Who knows what he's planning?"
"A hundred monsters later and you can't guess? Just enjoy it before he starts trying to go after Kirby."
Tiff and Tuff continued bickering as the tournament progressed.King Dedede had announced a surprise pool tournament today, with the prize being not only a fancy trophy, but a pool table. Kirby's house was a little bare, so he'd been eager to participate after seeing just how shiny the trophy was. However, judging by the fact that he was currently sitting on the table clacking two balls together, it was readily apparent Kirby had no idea how to play. Conversely, there was that strange
out-of-towner... The one who won his last match by hitting the cueball so hard it exploded... causing the shards to sink all the pool balls in a single shot. In the second round, the two would be matched against each other.
The little pink puff,
Kirby, Hero of the Stars, struggled to climb onto the table before lining his break shot up... and whiffing terribly, flinging the cue ball off the table.
"Excellent try, little one. But..." The out-of-towner reached over and placed Kirby on the table. "NOW IT'S MY TURN TO BREAK!"
With that, the out-of-towner cackled, planting his cuestick firmly between kirby's eyes... causing him to launch into the pool balls and ricochet around the table before finding himself stuck in a hole. "Chalk up another victory for the magnificent... BILLIARDSHADOW!"
Tiff rushed forward, shouting at King Dedede and pointing to Billiardshadow, who was currently trying to use his cuestick to force Kirby down into the hole. "Hey! That's against the rules!"
"Not here it ain't, little lady! You'd best re-read the sign!"
With that, a section of tape over the center of the sign fell away, revealing the words:
The Dreamland Super-Official FULL CONTACT 8-ball Pool Invitational Tournament
"That's dirty even for you, Dedede!"
"Put a sock in it! I'm finally gonna clobba Kirby, and there ain't a thing you can do about it!"
"We'll see about that! Kirby, suck up this- um..." Tiff looked around. No torches. No weapons. No ice or water or leaves or anything. For once, Castle Dedede was completely devoid of weapons.
"Badness! Are you having trouble little lady?" Billiard Shadow asked, now using a plunger to attempt to force the marshmallowy menace down. "It's almost like we took that copy ability into account!"
Tiff was obviously nervous, a bead of sweat running down her cheek. There wasn't anything Kirby had copied before in here. No way to know if this would work. But for now... she grabbed the cueball that Kirby knocked off the table. "Kirby! Suck up this white ball!"
Reflexively turning to correct someone ignorant about the sport that was his life, Billiardshadow pointed his cuestick at Tiff. "Wrong! That's actually called a cueball! It's-"
The long-winded speech about the nature of pool balls was interrupted by a loud, tremendous suction as Kirby opened his mouth, a windstorm kicking up as he inhaled the ball and shot out of the pocket. Turning over and over, his arms and legs vanished, leaving him momentarily dazed... before he began rolling around. And then bouncing. Faster and faster, he bounced around, before coming to a dizzy stop. He had become... BALL KIRBY!
"...an interesting trick... but I, the magnificent Billiardshadow, can handle balls of any size! En guarde!"
Billiardshadow took another cueball out of his bag, setting up a shot as Kirby began bouncing around.
Okay Billiardshadow. Easy does it. Angle of incidence equals angle of refraction. It's all in the timing. aaaand..."BREAK... SHOT!"
The monster smashed into the cueball with such strength it exploded forward, the racked-up pool balls exploding into shrapnel and flying about, hoping to catch Kirby in his bounce. However, the pink sphere of doom was moving too quickly, shattering through the shrapnel and toward Billiardshadow, causing him to explode into a cloud of darkness.
"BILLIARDSHADOW... CORNER POCKEEEEEEEEEET!"
