Avatar of clanjos
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    1. clanjos 12 yrs ago

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10 yrs ago
Sometimes, even an adventurer needs a backrub.
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Hey, you know that bit of the Elder Scrolls lore where if a Daedric Prince becomes displeased with the wielder of their artifacts, said artifact tends to get vanished or draw legions of assassins?

That's one of my favorite parts of the lore regarding Daedric Princes.
"That... is a throne necessary to Shadow Eternity's plans to destroy all of the multiverse. I'm putting what to do with it to a vote, but... I think we owe them for killing 662221. So I know how I'm voting now."

Originally, his plan had been to use it to draw the forces of Shadow Eternity to Freddy's using the unique properties of entering this universe. The endless supply of mooks, most equal to a soldier (and many equal to a superhuman) from any universe would overwhelm them, while the leader's tactical suicide would lead to losing most of her men. Now though, he was going to vote for its summary destruction.

"662221 deserved better. As for Hasse, he's probably at one of those Jizz clubs. The music genre, I mean, not the- uh, anyway, 096 is probably trying to sneak into a theme park or something. Loves him some roller coasters. I'll get the stuff together for a wake I guess."


Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria- The Wake of 662221

Freddy Fazbear's Family Pizzeria, HQ of Shocker+, was unusually solemn. Gone were the sounds of the animatronic band, the bleep-bloop of the arcade games, the sizzle of pizzas cooking in the oven. The loss of one of their own, whether to a hero, rampaging villain, or collateral damage always hit them hard, even if it was a hazard of the line of duty. Takahara stood on the stage, a podium next to the throne. A picture of a confused snakeborg was placed on the seat. They'd taken his picture while he was playing skiball once.

"662221 never really understood why we treated him... well, why we treated him like a person. After all, to him, to his people, he was just the six-hundred sixty-two thousand two hundred and twenty-first genetically mass-produced soldier clone. But to us, he was more than that. He had his quirks and memories. He was our friend. And he gave his life to try to save not only the multiverse, but also his friends. Judging by similar deaths, the plasma ball incinerated him instantly and painlessly. That's what our friend would have wanted, I think- to die a soldier's death, protecting his friends and 662219 brothers. As you'll recall, we don't talk about 2110."

The mooks nodded solemnly. Not one of them had forgotten 2110's crimes against humanity and fashion. Takahara raised his beer for a toast.

"This is why, with solemnity and respect, we commend our dear friend 662221 to the ranks of fallen combatmen, soldiers, warriors, and mooks- may their deaths have brought them peace. For they who die for a cause they believe in have died well. To the fallen."

"TO THE FALLEN!" the mooks responded, draining their drinks. Slowly, life returned to Freddy's. Takahara stepped down. Soon, they'd need a bigger base of operations than Freddy's. Thankfully, he had an idea.

Kurokage, however, had one too many drinks already and was angry.

"I just... I just don't get it. We train. We know what we're fighting for and we believe in it. We fight because we want to protect our friends and our worlds. But... but those assholes who fight alongside people they hate, the people who never think to ask 'why are we doing this' or question the motives of their clearly omnicidal employer are somehow immune to everything! Firing squads, swords, magic, wolves... and when they leave themselves open to attack, suddenly the opening's gone and they're trying to deliver a killing blow! It's like some bullshit cosmic force is giving him some kind of armor! Armor that makes them immune to the consequences of fighting like a retard!"

He slammed his fist into the table, causing Mage and the rocket grunt to jump in their seats a little. As usual, the Rocket Grunt was sneaking her Pokemon table scraps. An actual tear could be seen on the inside of Kurokage's visor.

"I... I should have been stronger. I should have been able to kill them. To save 662221."

A purple hand found its way to Kurokage's shoulder as Captain Ginyu, leader of the elite mercenary band known as The Ginyu Force nodded solemnly. The effect may have been undercut by the fact he had a cone of soft-serve ice cream in his free hand.

"You... yes... I can respect that!" The purple giant laughed, slapping Kurokage's back. "YES! Fighting to protect your friends is the way of a TRUE warrior! A warrior of great strength! It's hiding just under the surface! I CAN PRACTICALLY SEE IT!"

Ginyu began shouting as he pointed to the mooks present at the wake. "YES! ALL OF YOU! YOU ALL KNOW JUST WHAT YOUR FELLOW SOLDIERS MEAN TO YOU! THAT'S WHY FROM THIS MOMENT FORTH, YOU WILL TRAIN UNDER THE GINYU FORCE- AND UNLOCK THE TRUE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!"
I believe you mean "Pallete-swapped ninjas whose names are identical save one letter."

Also, I'm thinking either "undead luchador" or "pirate skeleton."
With a grunt, the minotaur on the beach leaps to his feet, carefully surveying the area around him. Taking out a miniature brass trident from his pack, he kissed it.

"Yar, bless yer mercy, Poseidon, for I am safe on shore after a trying voyage."

With a stretch, he began making his way over to the armored woman. Thankfully, he remembered his journey with perfect clarity... up to the point he passed out. Hopefully someone had paper, a book, or a map.

"OI! I need a map. Or paper. Or something. Got to figure out where we are."
Museum

Looking at the man who had survived a firing squad of lasers and plasma at point-blank range, the psychotic child, and the self-aggrandizing Cinder Fall, Kurokage raised his hand, tossing down a smokebomb that began filling the room.

"Know what? Screw this. We know our limits. You jackasses want to kill each other, fine by us. That's at least one less of you power-mad psychos to deal with. We'll leave peacefully before the civilians get killed. Men- Formation Zero-Six-Alpha!"

CONNECT... NOW.

The Shocker+ members formed up, standing close. Magic circles opened beneath the Shocker+ members, though Kurokage dropped the playing card- which Mage promptly shot, sending it to the ground in burning tatters as the mooks vanished.


Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria

In the men's restroom, the mooks poured into the handicap stall from Mage's portal... sans the Rocket Grunt, who had ended up in the women's restroom. When they headed into the restaurant proper, Takahara was waiting with a smile and cold drinks for everyone.

"Nice job on your first mission. I'm proud of all of you, and you've earned a rest. When you're done, head to the stage so we can discuss what to do with the throne as a compa- wait a second." Takahara looked over the present mooks, before turning to Sindibad, an expectant look of dread and sorrow on his face. "Where's 662221?"



Museum

As the card continued to smolder, the zubat continued their semi-blind fumbling about the museum. As the flames dancing across the playing card reached the edge, smoke billowed out, shortly before solidifying into the form of a humanoid bat. With a hissing shriek, it raised its wings... and the flight of the zubat got a lot more orderly, beginning to circle above it. It began walking toward Kiba and Dlanor, slowly.
Guts is a mercenary, right? How would he fit in with Shocker+? I can send something with SCIENCE to pick him up if you want, @IncredibleBee.
So... GMPC's, Superman, and a vibroblade are on the level of what it takes to hurt him.
Alright, so, he only just got grazed by a firing squad of thirty rapid fire weapons unloading on him from behind, from near point blank range? A firing squad made up from members of a variety of villanous henchmen from videogames, comic books, and children's shows, whose entire equipment is non-standard. The latter aren't allowed to use guns due to children protection, so they have lasers and plasma launchers. The former are armed with things ranged from guns that shoot lasers/globs of acid/mini torpedos to kaiju-hunting rifles. It's been this way ever since Shocker + was introduced.

Also you still haven't provided any examples as to what may pack enough of a punch to harm your character or addressed the issue of your character dodging all of this with only a few light grazes.
I'd like some examples. You're avoiding the issue of the actual dodging, funnily enough, in favor of suggesting that there are things that'd totally hurt him if they hit.
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