Nemo raised his hand. "I've got you covered there, buster." He spoke, breaking his standing silence. He got up and positioned himself so that Felix was standing on the opposite side of a big table out in the middle of the room. "Good thing I planned for this in advance." He whispered, likely to himself. Nemo then began to pull various items out from his inventory. He placed what appeared to be some sort of title card on the table made out of folded cardboard with sharpie marker writings. The card read The Big Paragon Adventure by Nemo and Pals.
Nemo removed the card and then pulled up a cardboard backdrop with a crude painting of the docks they begun their mission at drawn on. From behind that he then used his magic to telekinetically raise up five small doofy looking wood marionette replicas of their team, fitted with small scale clothing and faux fur hair. All in all, they were pretty well made.
"Alright, so first we were at the docks, trying to sneak into Seidon's ship." Nemo started, jiggling the string marionettes to make them look like they were doing a sloppy walking animation. "But then, two guys from the dock showed up and were all like. Hey I'm walkin here! You're not gettin' on this ship, badabing." Nemo pulled up two more marionettes, replicas of Logan and Boslan from the docks. He exaggerated Logan's accent greatly.
"So we were all like. We're gettin' on that ship, badaboom. And got into a big fight." Nemo caused the two groups of puppets to collide into a ridiculous looking slap-fight. Eventually the two adversary puppets puppets went limp when he dropped their control sticks, and were dragged "off screen", signalling they had been defeated. A much cleaner representation compared to their actual grisly deaths.
Nemo took the puppets off the table and changed the backdrop to a large cardboard cutout of Seidon's ship. "Afterwards we all snuck onto the ship by hiding out in a shipping container. But apparently our hiding skills weren't as good as we originally thought, and we jumped out of the box and were all like. 'Surprise!'" On cue, Nemo pulled their puppet group out from behind the display. The only change being that Nemo and Raiya were now brandishing small scale katanas. Afterwards he pulled out an apposing group of puppet Seidon, Caspian, Lori, Roy, and the Tao Twins.
"Seidon was all like, Arrrrrgh, get off me ship you scallywag! You're not getting me treasure me hearties, yo ho!." Nemo once again greatly exaggerated Seidon's accent. "And we were like, yeah, we're totally getting that treasure, and you talk with a stupid accent too." The two groups of puppets then got into another slap fight, this one even grander in scale then the one that came before. Nemo began to add comical punching and sword fighting sound effects as the marionettes fought.
First puppet Nemo and Raiya defeated the Tao Twin puppets, and they were dragged off stage. Followed by Roy being slapped into submission by Zuri, Travis, and Zoey. Puppet Travis delivered the death-slap before marionette Roy was removed from the stage. Then puppet Nemo and Raiya defeated Caspian when Nemo swung his replica sword to pop off puppet Caspian's wooden head from his body. It rolled off the table and landed by the couch Raiya was laying on.
Nemo leaned over the cardboard cutout and replaced his small scale sword with a tiny replica of his rifle. "Then I was like, hey Travis, watch this sick ass shot. Bang!" Nemo recited, jerking his puppet to make it look like his rifle had fired when he made the crude sound effect. This apparently killed the puppet Lori, as her puppet body fell limp before being removed from the stage.
"So then only Seidon was left, and he was like, oh no, my crew and stuff, is like super dead, Arrr!" Nemo continued, forgetting to use the fake pirate accent until the end. "Blackbeard used a big magic attack on us, and we all dodged it besides Zoey, and she was like. Ow!" Nemo then flicked his wrist, causing the controlled marionette stick to violently swing around and overhead smash the Zoey puppet onto the table. The force of the impact caused the wooden puppet to explode into pieces that abruptly shrapneled throughout the room, possibly hitting some of the members of the group. "...and then died." Nemo added, confirming her fate if the display wasn't good enough.
"We fought Captain Morgan for a while, but then-" Nemo paused the slap fight, moving in to replace his rifle with a miniature revolver. "I shot him a bunch of times." One would of thought that Nemo would just do some more sound effects, but apparently he had some room for more production value in this performance. The small pistol was actually functional and rigged with blank rounds. He fired five off, causing small blood filled squib explosives placed in the Seidon puppet to go off, making it look as if his body was being riddled with bullets like in an action movie. The whole scene was a surprisingly ridiculous recreation of the act.
Nemo had the puppet Seidon fall to it's wooden knees. "It looked like Captain Kidd was down for the count, but it would be foolish to think it's that easy." The puppet Seidon looked up from his kneeling position. "I may die, but I'll make sure you all die too, so I can kill you all again in the afterlife or whatever too... arrr." Puppet Nemo fired off one more shot from his mini revolver, causing puppet Seidon's head to suddenly explode into a bloody mess. Thankfully most of the fake blood was caught by the cardboard backdrop. Nemo then drug the headless Seidon off the table, causing a morbid blood trail in the process.
Nemo took all the puppets off the table and replaced the backdrop with cardboard ocean waves. Followed by a cardboard cutout of the ship with the group on it. Nemo moved the cardboard ship to make it look like it was floating on the waves, as well as shifting the backdrop to make it look more animated. "Unfortunately, before we sent Davy Jones back to his locker, he unleashed his pet fish against us." Nemo made a few wacky sounding groans to signal the arrival of the kraken. A far cry from the terrifying real deal they had experienced earlier in the day. Suddenly, large cardboard cutouts of the monster's tentacles emerged before behind the waves. They began to repeatedly smack the ship.
"We tried our best, which was basically doing nothing, but the sea was all like, whoosh, whoosh! Whip a whip a doo!" Nemo started, making sound effects for the immense storm they were facing at the time. He whipped the boat all around, even upside down to display their struggle. "And the monsters was all like, bang, bang, BANG!" Nemo added, making sounds every time the tentacles hit the ship. "And sadly, we sunk like a rock." He finished, pulling the boat under the waves and out of view.
Nemo discarded the current props and changed the background to the sandy beach they awoke on. He laid their puppets bodies limply on the table. "Thankfully, we washed up on a beach, and were not eaten whole by the sea-beast." Nemo rose the marionette's controllers up, causing them to spring back to life. The only change in the group was that the Raiya puppet was now missing it's jacket. "We walked into the heart of the jungle, sure that this was the island the paragon rested upon." As the puppets comically jingle walked across the backdrop, Nemo switched the beach out for the jungle with the temple's entrance.
"Finally we reached our destination, which required us to operate an ancient device to open the doors and gain entrance to the paragon's resting place. But, in a wild turn of events, it was revealed that the doors were actually working for the Arcanocracy, and it was one huge ambush." Nemo then revealed puppet Father Galvadon. It was a spitting image of the church member, except for the part where he had replaced his gold mace with an old timey walking cane and gave him a long black curly mustache and top hat. "Myah-hah-hah! It is I, Father Galvadon. I've come to stop you rabble rousers before you give us any more trouble, see?" Nemo perverted his voice so that he sounded like a vintage vaudeville villain.
"I was all like, you guys go on without me and I'll deal with this guy, even though he might kill me because he's super tough and specializes in both my weaknesses. And Raiya was like Yeah, don't care at all, loser-kun."
Nemo paused for a moment, sniffling sadly from his position before continuing. "So I was like... Okay... and then got into a big fight with Galvadon." Nemo explained, sounding audibly depressed. Nemo had the two puppets charge each other slowly and engage into a downtempo low-energy slap fight.
Nemo's "fight" with Galvadon faded off to the side as the remaining group entered the temple. He replaced the backdrop with the inside of the temple. "Travis, Zuri, and Raiya went deep into the catacombs, finding none other than Father Stockton waiting for them inside." Nemo explained, dropping his sad voice. He then revealed puppet Stockton and placed him on the table. For the most part, Stockton looked like his real life counterpart, but with a giant oversized cranium to house his clearly massive brain.
"I wasn't there to hear how the battle started, but I'm pretty sure it went something like this." Nemo coughed slightly to adjust his voice. "Hey guys, it's me, Father Megamind. My brain is the biggest in this whole room, so every move you can make I've already planned for in five different ways. Bow before me, or I'll be forced to use my mind magic against you!" Nemo said in a nasally nerdy voice.
The puppets then collided in another slap fight. But instead of slapping back, the Stockton puppet raised it's hands up to the sides of it's temples. Nemo began to emit humorous electric buzzing sound effects. Apparently this was what "mind magic" sounded like.
"Eventually, thanks to Travis and Zuri, Stockton's mystifying mind magic was disabled. He collapsed to his knees, unable to fight back now that his only offense was taken from him. But before Raiya could deliver the death blow, I returned from my battle with Galvadon, victorious." The Nemo puppet walked back into frame, beaten up and bloodied, clothes ragged and waving his revolver wildly. After reaching Stockton, the marionette Nemo exclaimed "Die!" and point blank shot the church puppet in it's massive head. After the blank round went off, the large head of puppet Stockton sprung a leak, steadily squirting fake blood all over the table. It fell forward and face planted on the stage, continuing the leak until the head had shrunk down to a normal size.
"Apparently this made Raiya-" Nemo moved in, placing stickers on puppet Raiya's face to give her angry eyebrows and an unhappy mouth. "-really mad."
Nemo switched the background to the final throne room of the temple. With puppet skeleton Croft and a mini paragon on the other side. The group approached the artifact, with puppet Travis splitting off and getting closer. "Finally we were met with the object we had come all this way for, but the paragon was in a precarious predicament, so Travis stepped up to nab the artifact." The puppet Travis creeped closer and closer to the gem, finally getting into arms reach. He extended his wooden arm out to grasp the paragon, and as soon as he touched it the skeleton spoke.
Before it could say any more, puppet Travis quickly removed the paragon, causing the skeleton to wheeze and explode into fine dust before it could speak any further. The grey bone powder coated puppet Travis thoroughly.
"And so there we were, standing with our second paragon, victorious in our search. But this victory was short lived, as it turned out that the entire island was actually a fake island generated by the paragon at the request of Captain Croft in his dying moments. And now that Captain Croft, barely alive through the paragon, had perished without his lifeline. The island would perish with him."
Nemo switched the background to include the black hole they had encountered before. "A big scary void hole opened up, slowly sucking us all up as well as the island." Nemo moved the marionettes and jingled them in front of the cardboard anomaly. Nemo began to emit various goofy wails as they were pulled into it.
After changing the background back to the moving waves, Nemo plopped their puppet doubles down into them. "After that ordeal, we returned to the ocean. Thankfully with no sea monster still in sight. Raiya, of course, was panicking. Oh no, we're all going to drown out here in the sea! Ahhhhhh! We're doomed!" Nemo jiggled her puppet rapidly as they cried out in fear.
"Thankfully, I was able to create a raft for us to float on, and then Travis disabled the paragon's manawaves so we could send out a distress signal. That's when you came in Felix." After placing all the puppets into a plastic boat, Nemo brought out "Puppet Felix."
Puppet Felix, in reality, was a fat clown marionette with a small nametag that said "Felix" on it. Either Nemo had ran out of marionettes to use in his performance, or still held some form of grudge against the arch-magi for locking him up in Mamertine for so long. Puppet Felix waddled across the waves slowly, accompanied by bass low tuba noises every step. "Hey guys, it's me, Felix. I've come to rescue you. Step inside my fun portal to return to my magical castle." Nemo supplemented Felix's actual voice with a Barney the Dinosaur like impression. He then honked his clown nose at the end.
Nemo dropped the wood controllers to all the puppets, letting them rest limply on the table. He stepped back and rested down on his comfy chair, satisfied. "And so yeah..." Nemo crossed his arms confidently. "That's pretty much how it happened."