earlymorninstar

[Beneath a moonless sky] 18+ [Arista x Earlymorninstar]

Clara had nearly scoffed at his first words, looking away and to the ceiling for a long moment. To say he never meant to toss her aside was almost laughable. How could you not mean to do something like that? How could any of it had been accidental or unintentional? She had wondered day in and day out for years upon years what the hell was wrong with her. What could have been so terribly awful or what could she have done wrong to warrant such a punishment? What had been so suddenly unappealing that she was so easily used and cast aside like a literal piece of trash? She truly believed that she was meant to die that night, and for a number of years she had wished it had happened. Christian had prevented that as soon as he found her, and he prevented it even further in the passing years when she hadn't quite found a purpose. She'd lost absolutely everything that night and was only met with someone who wished to keep her alive – and for what? So she could live with an ever-dwelling anger and emptiness that she couldn't quite satiate?

When Ryanair had decided to speak again, however, she had glanced his way, unsure if she wanted to fully believe the words coming from his lips. Honestly, she knew Kieran had spoken to Ryanair of her before, Ryanair had made that clear when they'd first met each other, but she never expected him to explain what had happened. Who would ever want to talk about or admit to a mistake like her? The frown remained on her lips as he had continued, however, a swirl of confusion and mixed emotions surging through her at his explanation. Part of her, the logical part, could understand at least in the tiniest bit, why he fled. The irrational, emotional part of her felt nothing but frustration and anger over it. Even if he had to run, why couldn't he come back? Why, after all of that time, did he keep his distance? Because he was afraid of failing her or angering her?

His distance had only amplified her anger and had only made her feel as if he failed her a hundred times over.

Had he come back for her, perhaps things would have been different… She hadn't known when he possibly could have watched over her – what she would have given, at least in the beginning, to have a reason for it all. That emptiness and the lack of answers had her feeling not only anger, but feeling more worthless than she could have ever felt. Everything had been a mistake – she should have simply listened to her father, allowed him to marry her off, and go on with her life. At least she would have eventually died with possibly a smidgen of happiness in her life – at least she would have been content enough to live.

Clara looked away from him while he spoke, swallowing the small lump in her throat. Kieran should have told her all of this – not Ryanair… Kieran should have explained everything – he'd had a hell of a lot of opportunities, and yet, he remained silent even when she was there in front of him – practically begging without words for him to make it right.

The sudden unsteady tone of the heart monitor had her looking over once more, watching as Ryanair had immediately reacted to the difference. He hadn't needed to venture far before Ynez had immediately come in and settled herself around Kieran – and the monitor soon regulated once more.

She let out a small breath that she wasn't aware she was holding before she looked back to the ceiling again. She was exhausted, but she didn't want to sleep. She didn't want to feel it again. Not after Ryanair had spoken…

"…Why didn't he ever tell me?" Not that she expected Ryanair to know… But then again, he'd always been closer to Kieran, hadn't he?

@Arista

[Lather the blood on your hands] 18+ UPDATED [Ignore Post Count]

Bump!!

[Save Me From The Dark] freedomliveson x earlymorninstar

Haha yep. Allll the time. Never a dull moment in this household!

[Save Me From The Dark] freedomliveson x earlymorninstar

Just as Alyssa had expected, Mansfield had travelled quite a bit - to places she could have only wondered about. It was true, she hadn’t ventured far from the city or even her hometown -- her father had done a wonderful job in turning himself into the burden that would keep her grounded for years upon years. That burden had only grown heavier and heavier with the passing time, until her back had inevitably broken and her patience had finally snapped. Even now that he was gone for the time being, she still couldn’t fully escape. She was left with his bills and the fact that she would have to help him along once he was finally out -- just to make sure he didn’t relapse. She absolutely had her doubts, but for now, she could at least find her escape in her new job. She could keep herself busy here, and truthfully, entertained with Mansfield as long as he continued to have things to say to her.

Each time the man opened his mouth, Alyssa had become terribly interested. His eccentricity was wonderful- a colorful contrast to the grey shade of her usual surroundings, no matter how exhausting it was to keep up with him. He had lived a life she could only imagine - full of wealth and travels and she had almost wondered about all of the adventure he might have stumbled upon throughout the years.

As he spoke to her, Alyssa had smiled as she picked timidly at her meal - which had been, quite frankly, one of the best meals she had had in a very, very long time. She at least wanted to savor it, all the while wanting to pay attention to everything Mansfield had said. Her nerves had begun to melt away the more he spoke, and she didn’t quite feel too out of place as the time passed them by. However, his next question had given her pause.

Alyssa had bit the inside of her cheek for a moment and she glanced down at her plate. Well, she couldn’t very well tell him the truth. It was almost shameful to have to tell someone that her father had been an abusive drunk who had finally crossed the line and was forced into rehab in lieu of jail time. The fact that most of the tiny little town knew exactly who she was and nearly pitied her every time she’d walk by looking exhausted, wearing long-sleeves when it was warm out just to hide the bruises, having to stop at the hardware store every week or so to try and figure out how to patch a hole in a wall or fix a broken door hinge…

She swallowed lightly and offered a small shrug of her shoulders. “My mother died a long time ago -- which is why we left the city. She’d been very sick and, I think she didn’t want to put us through it all so she didn’t fight it. The cancer took her quickly -- so, my father and I moved from the city and into town.” Alyssa explained and glanced to him for only a moment before she looked back at her food. “My father just moved out recently, so, I figured it was time to find something new to do - keep myself busy now that he isn’t around. And, I'm an only child - so, no siblings around either.” It wasn’t technically a lie, but it was quite the softer version of the truth.

[Save Me From The Dark] freedomliveson x earlymorninstar

It's the worst! And my husband is an ent/firefighter, so I swear he brings sicknesses home all the time! Youd think my immune system would be amazing by now... Haha

[Save Me From The Dark] freedomliveson x earlymorninstar

Thanks. Haha its what happens when people decide to come into the office sick... No amount of hand santizier or Lysol could save me!! :o

[Save Me From The Dark] freedomliveson x earlymorninstar

No problem! I've been outta work and in bed sick anyways. :(

[Lather the blood on your hands] 18+ UPDATED [Ignore Post Count]

Bump

[Lather the blood on your hands] 18+ UPDATED [Ignore Post Count]

Bump :)

[Save Me From The Dark] freedomliveson x earlymorninstar

Alyssa had seemed terribly relieved when she realized that Mansfield hadn’t even been bothered that she had cut it so close. She had been worried that it would send the wrong message, and she’d almost been prepared to defend herself, but he had dismissed it so easily. She couldn’t help the slightly surprised look that flew across her face before it had just as quickly faded as he had immediately shown her where to sit. She let out a small breath that she hadn’t fully been aware she was holding before she lightly bit her lip and moved to the seat, carefully sitting down with a quiet “thank you” as he had pushed the chair in behind her. It was then that she actually had the moment to look around the room, her eyes dancing across the walls to the ceiling before Mansfield had seated himself.

Everything had seemed like it had happened in a whirl as Robert had soon made his way in the room as soon as Mansfield had been seated. She had tilted her head as she listened to the exchange between the two, but a blush immediately had lifted to her cheeks over the comment made. She’d only been flitting around the place for a couple of hours getting settled, but she wondered if word really was getting around that quickly that she was there.

Once her food had been placed in front of her, Alyssa felt her stomach growl in the slightest. Perhaps she had forgotten to eat lunch in the excitement of things. Really, she had only planned to go on an interview and head back home - hopefully get a call in the following days, and then figure it out from there. She could have hardly anticipated suddenly getting hired on the spot, having to uproot her entire life, and end up at an awfully large table with her new employer who was very interested in getting to know her further than just the “new hire” that would be roaming around his house.

She felt her nerves shooting through her with each moment, especially when Robert had soon been dismissed and once more it was only her and Mansfield at the table again. Alyssa had quickly mimicked his own actions, taking her napkin carefully, making sure the silverware didn’t fall on the table before she gently placed them down. She had taken her napkin and placed it on her lap before her hands remained neatly folded thereafter.

Alyssa had felt not only overwhelmed, but almost out of place in that large dining room with such a wonderful meal presented before her. She wasn’t used to such things - hell, she was lucky if she even had time to cook a real meal, and she couldn’t remember the last time she had went out to dinner. She usually could manage a sandwich or a bowl of cereal - or anything that could have been prepared rather quickly before her father inevitably was going to go off on her -- or would pass out and she would have to handle him for the evening. This was so out of the ordinary for her, that she almost hadn’t known how to act. Clearly, and judging by his words, Mansfield was used to a life of luxury - Alyssa could only imagine them in the numerous books she’d read or the shows she’d watched.

She shifted a bit in her seat when his conversation soon turned to focus on her and she bit the inside of her cheek for a moment as she mulled over her answer. “Well, I suppose I’ve always been around here.” Alyssa began quietly. “I used to live in the city with my parents - but it was about five or six years ago before I moved out here. It’s definitely a great deal quieter in the city, which I enjoy - not to mention it isn’t as busy.” She added as an afterthought. “I suppose after I went to school, it just seemed like a good idea to stay around here for the meantime.” Which, wasn’t necessarily true. She would have loved to travel elsewhere - would have loved to go back to the city once in awhile, or even find somewhere new where she could simply get away, but her father was the one who had kept her there -- moreso out of obligation than him wanting her there. Alyssa was terrified that if she had abandoned him and left for her own reasons, he would have eventually lost himself and she would be awoken in the middle of the night to that phone call that he hadn’t made it through the night.

Although - that fear had still been very alive even while she lived with him - at least Alyssa had a sense of control over it if she were home.

Alyssa had looked over to Mansfield after a moment’s pause. “What about you? Have you always been around here, or no?” She couldn’t imagine someone like him would have been confined to one place. The son of an Ambassador - as he had mentioned- had to have a bit of travelling and adventure under his belt.

@freedomliveson