Avatar of El Taco Taco
  • Last Seen: 26 days ago
  • Old Guild Username: El Taco Taco
  • Joined: 12 yrs ago
  • Posts: 1221 (0.27 / day)
  • VMs: 2
  • Username history
    1. El Taco Taco 12 yrs ago
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Status

Recent Statuses

8 yrs ago
Current 'I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet.'
7 likes
8 yrs ago
'There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?'
2 likes
8 yrs ago
'If Zoey Ashe had known she was being stalked by a man who intended to kill her and then slowly eat her bones, she would've worried more about that and less about getting her cat off the roof.'
1 like
9 yrs ago
"And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that."
7 likes
9 yrs ago
"We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?"
2 likes

Bio


"OK, I've just about had my FILL of riddle-asking, quest-assigning, insult-throwing, pun-hurling, hostage-taking, iron-mongering, smart-arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!" - CHARNAME, Baldur's Gate


Most Recent Posts

They were calling it ‘Fury’s Big Week’ in hushed whispers all throughout the helicarrier. It was a cute name; classic S.H.I.E.L.D. understatement for the latest series of world changing disasters. It let them feel in control—after all, the Big Week wasn’t the worst they’d ever faced, and it was over. It was a lie, but a necessary one. So when Hill brought drinks by her cramped quarters to ‘celebrate surviving that clusterfuck’, Natasha simply opened the door wider and let her in. After all, it hadn’t been just Fury’s big week.

“If I never have to go to New Mexico again, it’ll be too soon,” Maria scoffed, raising a bottle to her lips, sprawled across Natasha’s small loveseat. Natasha kicked a leg out along the floor, leaning forward to refill her small tumbler. Maria stretched out, kicking her feet up on the coffee table. “Do you have any idea how much paperwork I’ve got to finish? My desk is literally buried in it.”

“You didn’t have fun mopping up after literal aliens?” Natasha quipped, leaning back on a hand, idly swirling her drink with the other. “Come on Hill, where’s your sense of wonder?”

“It ran off somewhere after the fifth local tried to corner me with a crazed conspiracy theory,” Maria muttered, clearly unamused. Natasha snorted into her drink.

“A crazed conspiracy theory that hits a little too close to the truth?” She asked, looking up at the exhausted brunette. Maria groaned, throwing her head back. Natasha offered a wicked little laugh, dodging the bottlecap that Hill tossed at her head.

“Don’t remind me,” Maria took a long swig of her drink as they sat in companionable silence. “Fury says you’re heading out again.”

“No rest for the wicked,” Natasha mused, raising her glass to the light to watch the light catch across the crystal. “It should be fun; it’ll be a nice change of pace from Stark and Harlem.”

Maria nodded, clearly satisfied with this answer. The silence set in once again, both women lost to their own thoughts, drinking as the dimming sunlight traced a path across the table. Natasha breathed in the quiet,

“It’s getting late,” Natasha said when Maria placed her third empty bottle on the table. She nodded, rising to her feet, nimble fingers collecting her things. Rising as fluid as water, Natasha caught the empty bottles by the neck, silent footfalls accompanying Hill to the door. “Don’t drown in your paperwork.”

Maria’s lips quirked to one side, her dark brow arching as she appraised Natasha. She opened her mouth, as if to say something, and then reconsidered it. Instead, she offered a quiet nod, boots clicking along metal floors, as she disappeared into the bowels of the helicarrier.

The bottles clinked when they were dropped into the bin. The sun had finally set, and only black clouds filled the glass. Natasha navigated the small room in darkness—red labeled bottle finding a home in a cupboard, her crystal glass wiped clean and tucked into a secure box that was slid into a drawer and locked. Everything was still and shadowed.

She hadn’t meant to stay. She’d delivered her report to Fury as soon as she’d arrived, and received her orders in his next breath. Moscow called for her, to play a familiar game with another ex-KGB. She had meant to pack a bag, stop by a safehouse and make her way across the world in the morning. Instead, she’d dropped her gear on her bunk and let Hill distract her with drinks and conversation.

Natasha locked her quarters after stringing up her security wires. This was S.H.I.E.L.D., one of the most secure places on Earth, but old habits died hard. She ghosted through the carrier, taking to ducts that were never meant to provide passage for people, that Natasha had long since become familiar with. She climbed, muscles shifting, hands finding holds along rivets and creases as she moved ever higher.

Pale fingers eased open a small ventilation cover, guiding it aside. Natasha slipped out to the familiar deck, the wind roaring in her ears. She crept along the small walkway, footsteps solid as she ducked into the quiet nook she’d found her first week with S.H.I.E.L.D. as an asset, not a prisoner. The helicarrier was filled with secret spaces, both intentional and quirks of construction alike. Natasha had meticulously mapped all of them, but this one was her favorite.

From here she could watch the world, glittering lights shimmering through wisps of clouds. The room—if it could be called that—was more an enclosed space between decks, tucked behind the armored plating, accessible only from the exterior of the ship. It was ventilated and the thick glass told Natasha that it had been purposefully built in. Perhaps the engineers had known that the spies of S.H.I.E.L.D. would need nigh-on inaccessible hidey holes throughout the helicarrier. She hoped those engineers had been given a bonus for their foresight.

Natasha swung herself onto the I-Beam with the best view, settling against the window to watch the eastern seaboard far below. Curling into her loose, grey sweater, she tucked a legging clad leg beneath her, the other foot dangling over the beam. The engines hummed through the steel walls, clouds whispering by, kissing the window with raindrops.

She breathed deep, and let herself believe that Fury’s Big Week was over, if only for a night.
HP is always golden, haha! <3

It's 10:41 here, I should probably get off my arse and make some food soon, but PFFFT IT'S MY FUCKIN' BIRTHDAY I DO WHAT I WANT

Ahhh, yesss!


It was just-- all of Ron's good qualities disappeared! His loyalty, his common sense-- book Ron was insensitive but he always came around and cared so much. ): -hugs Ron-
AHHHHHHHH!!!! <3 <3 <3 THANK YOU!!!! I am legit a little teary eyed, haha!!!

It's neat here-- cities are very much like that, but outside of that there's just a lot of empty space.

Well, the movies assassinated Ron, too! They gave ALL his best lines to Hermione. ): Like, I love Hermione, but they totally threw Ron under the bus. And at least Dan got better towards the end, haha! <3
I've been having this quirk since last evening. If I'm not logged in, I can see boards but not individual threads within them, or user profiles. While I'm logged in, I've yet to have any problems. I've had this problem on both mobile and my desktop, so thought I'd mention it and see if I'm the only one.
I thought we had some special, Mattito. Stop being such a Sensitive Steven.

Haha! Maybe I will do it sooner as a "we're done moving, thank Rowling" meal?

READ IT. DO IT. OMG PLS. AND THE SEQUEL. THEY ARE THE BEST.
JD@tE is legit the funniest, most horrifying and most important books I have ever read. It is masterful. Dick jokes to existential crises to one of the best portrayals of mental illness all between two fancy covers. it is amazing
And bump!
Haha, yessss. Samaire's have been memories bc, lbh, there's plenty of horror there for the poor kiddo >:D

I know, I'm so sorry Mattikins, but it's probably bc you're delightfully dangerous. No hard feelings.

Food in books inevitably makes me want to cook it all. I wanted to do a HP themed feast for my birthday, but alas, not this year. Maybe for Christmas, bc I don't give a fuck D:<
Haha, for sure >:D I'm sensing fuck tons of margaritas and Pandemic in my future. Bwehehe. I really want the expansion, too. So much fun!

Yay, birthdays! Mine's tomorrow, ugh, I really wish I could stop getting older.

Haha, well, straight lines though they may be in flat areas, you take windy as shit routes through the mountains here. Getting out of Salt Lake to Denver takes ~10 hours because you have to go up and around, even though it seems like it'd be a 5 hour straight shot. Bleh!

Ron is darling. I didn't really grow into liking any of the trio until I was older, but now they are my precious cinnamon rolls <333 I actually read an amazing fanfiction that turned me onto Ronmione-- I wish I remembered the name. It was phenomenal. Now I'm like, 'no, they're perfect for each other, they have crazy chemistry and complement each other amazingly'
Haha, aww, thanks! I like writing Samaire's dreams, they're loads of fun.

GASP. I don't trust him. Neither does Samaire, altho girl kind of has decent reasons. Poor thing has no fucking clue what she's doing.

DUDE. I loved Redwall as a kid. *_*
Here's another bump, just for funsies.
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