"I was, uh, thinking about you..." Violet mumbled as she twirled the telephone cord between her fingers. "When I kissed you."

Hi, OP.
I see based on your profile that you're on the younger side and this seems like something I would have posted at your age as well. I come from a history of abuse and it was very much a cry for help on my part. I don't know if it's the same for you and I don't want to presume, but I did want to echo the sentiment of the user above me. If you're in a position where you can safely ask for a therapist, it might be worth it to do so. If you're not able to do so, I might suggest Teen Line or some alternative to discreetly discuss what you're going through (here are some resources from a family member who works with teens in the USA):
Journaling is also a great suggestion though it's a difficult habit to start on your own. Guided journaling apps, such as Bearable, are much easier to get used to in my experience. Sports and creative outlets are also a great way to deal with anything you're going through. I personally did Brazilian Jiu Jitsu as a teenager to deal with what I've gone through and maybe you'd find some luck with a local team for whatever fuels your interests. As for creative outlets, Roleplaying is an excellent start and there's always poetry, lyric writing, drawing, sketching, etc. Volunteering also helps and I know there exists Teenage Advisory Boards in libraries as well as junior volunteers for the SPCA (at least here in the United States). All of these could be outlets for you to cope with anything you might be dealing at with home, at school, or elsewhere.
If you need any further specific resources for whatever you're going through, I'd be happy to hunt them down for you. A Roleplaying forum is not the place to be discussing these matters, but there does exist hotlines, websites, support groups, etc., that we can find for you. Know that you're valid, your feelings are valid, and you are not alone. There are people out there that CAN help you.
Stay strong and take care of yourself.