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10 mos ago
Current I'm running into some problems with archetypes using a D20 system. :(
11 mos ago
I'm working on a Non-Canon Sword Art Online RP w/ dice roll rules
11 mos ago
I farted and it smells pretty bad
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I shall wait!
It's going okay.

At this moment, are we waiting specifically for characters who haven't responded to Blaque to show up?

For Sam, do I need to role play that he is there or can it be implied? I'm having a little trouble keeping track of when I should post or when I should wait. Other than that, I love everybody's characters so far.

Looking forward to meting out brutal justice alongside with everybody else.
I hope everyone is having a great holidays so far.

If anyone is up for anything, please don't hesitate to PM me.

Be safe & have lots of fun.
Okay, great.

Sammy Lee


Today was Sam's errand day, a day he would set aside to catch up on "adult" responsibilities. Sam was no stranger to the ghetto and Holton Slums was no different. More or less because anyone who looked at Sam would be weary of his augmentations. Sam tried to hide them by wearing a plain long overcoat and clothes that would more or less hide his extremities.

He couldn't hide his face though. The augmentations were like scars or tattoos, they wouldn't go unnoticed. In times like these, Sam always felt a smile or a grin would suffice to ease the edge people would have upon seeing him. At least, this is how it was for the average people who kept to themselves. The sort of people that have lived a hard life and wanted no trouble.

There were other people here in the slums. Scumbags. Shitheads. Strung out druggies. And of course the people that profit from these lowlifes. It was enough to merit a scowl from Sam but he wouldn't betray his sort of benign expression for what has become quite normal here in this place.

Sam's eyes detected a possible threat from two people that were sizing him up. Awesome, more lowlifes he thought as he kept his pace normal and gripped the grocery bags he had tighter.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? Another 'borg?" one of them chimed up.

Sam ignored the comment and kept walking until one of them grabbed his shoulder. Nothing to be provoked about. Maybe I can talk it out. Sam reasoned.

"You think just cuz you got them nice parts you can just walk passed us?" the other one said.

Sam's eyes scanned them and saw they had weapons - one had a handgun tucked behind him. This was the one that first spoke - he was also bald and had the look of being in the business for awhile. Like Sam, they were of Asian descent, but he couldn't figure out what ethnicity.

The other one had his hand on a hilt - possibly a knife or something similar. His hand was held firm against Sam's upper-right chest. He was pinning Sam towards the wall, "Look here 'borg, you got some nice parts, and the way I see it... no one's going to miss you. So, you let us harvest and we'll let you live."

Sam's look didn't change.

"Don't you get it you stupid shithead? We are going to kill you," he repeated again.

They were body harvesters. People who tried to go after people with augmentations to sell their parts in the black market. Most likely the lowest rung in their organized crime organization or gang.

Without responding verbally, Sam's hands let go of the grocery bags as their contents spilled out on impact of hitting the ground. His right hand wrapped around the guy that had him pinned and with the ease of someone pressing a button to an elevator, he broke the guy's arm. The guy tried to pull back and scream but before he could Sam's other hand chopped his throat causing him to gurgle and falter back. Sam lifted one leg and kicked him away from him to allow him free reign on the remaining guy.

"W-what the fu-," before the guy could even draw the gun or get the word out, Sam was within CQC distance. Sam's hand slapping the thug's gun hand inwards to follow the thug's elbow, and instinctively straying from its possible trajectory. Sam was able to redirect the thug's arm so that it was across his shoulder. Using his free hand Sam wrapped it around the base of the man's neck and let his other elbow slam straight into his face.

Blood gushed and Sam guessed he either broke the man's cheek bone or nose. At this point, he didn't care, he was intent on finishing the combo. Sam disarmed the man's handgun and rendered it useless by dismantling it. Sam surveyed his work - one man writhing in pain and the other one holding his face with blood gushing everywhere.

"Team, I need everyone to return back to Safe Haven ASAP..." Blaque chimed in through Sam's receiver.

Sam responded, "Okay, boss, I'm not that far away. I'll be there in a bit."

These encounters weren't common to Sam but when they did come he had always met them head on. Today the result was this but what if it were someone else? Sam wanted to make a forcible change. These deviants no longer listened to reason but they would listen to force and Sam had a whole lot of force.


Assignment: No Assignment

In the RP, have we all met each other before? Or do some of us have history and others don't?

Hey @ZayZe,

There are a couple of things I want to point out as a reader, let's start with grammar.

I think the dialogue runs as so:

"I guess it's about time to get on with today," he groans. Picking up his...

versus

“I guess its about time to get on with today.” He groans, picking up his


The punctuation flows easier because it connects what he said to the action. I'm sure there's more to it than just that.

---

I think your detail is great but it might be too passive in immersing the reader into your world. Are you familiar with active and passive voices? The tone I get from reading is like reading a text book that's describing factual information. I think I'd get more of a kick to understand your character's preference as in the how he perceives the world around him.

Does that make sense? I can explain more if needed.

There's also a passivity to your writing that needs to be balanced out by an active voice. This is more apparent during the setting explanation, the character's actions, and the encounters with other characters.

Here's a pretty good guide on this: Passive Voice versus Active Voice.

There are also some run-on sentences in your role play. Consider adding periods to end a phrase before starting a new one. Comma usage is tricky and it befuddles me sometimes as well.

A lot of rules I think I know intuitively but I break some of them too. I think it's okay to break some rules as long as the decision is made by choice. I hope this helps.



Okay, great!

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