Avatar of karamonnom
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    1. karamonnom 9 yrs ago
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Status

Recent Statuses

2 yrs ago
Current I ... just broke up with a long time boyfriend.. feeling kinda miserable. Will try to be active soon
5 likes
2 yrs ago
I am like extra-dying from work and stress. I'm so sorry for going MIA.
2 yrs ago
Never thought that I would have to say that someone burnt my socks but here we are
2 yrs ago
Sorry for the late replies. Things have been bleh --> lost my passport and such and chaos. will try to post soon
2 likes
2 yrs ago
Another work trip from the 27th to the 30th~

Bio

I'm pretty bleh.

Most Recent Posts

Alright, I hope this would be okay now! I also updated her height to make her a little taller at 5"1.


@Invader Len

Thank you, I'll work on it asap.
The things I do instead of studying:


Aw man, I'm pretty interested in this too. But first, time to read all the IC and character sheets >< oh and hello~
Nope, I don't mind. Take your time and I hope we can continue soon.
Vanessa didn't believe it at first even though she knew deep down that the girl talking to her was James. Except, he was dressed as a girl and begrudgingly she had to admit that he looked good. "James....?" she asked hesitantly. "Why are you dressed like that? What's going on? Is this a dare? Did Nathan make you do this?" she continued to barrage Jess with questions.

Rachel, who was talking to the girl that she did not know was Nathan yet, stopped in her tracks and focused her attention on her best friend and her...boyfriend? "What is it, Vanessa?"

Meanwhile, Nathan stared agape as Jess revealed herself to the girls. His stomach knotted and while he was grateful for what she had just did for him, he was also incredibly guilty. "I'm so sorry, Jess..." he thought, as if she would somehow be able to read his mind. The bus soon arrived, but since Rachel and Vanessa were distracted by Jess' "coming out", Nathan managed to slip on and the bus continued to go along its way without them.

As soon as he made it to his apartment, he ripped off the wig, not caring if it got ruined. He removed the make up and nail polish, and then changed into a normal pair of black sweatpants and a t-shirt. He threw his female clothes into his closet and locked it. After he was done, he sat still on his bed and buried his face into his hands. He hated himself. What kind of best friend was he? How could he let Jess take the fall like that by herself? He would understand if she never wanted to talk to him again... But... Ugh!

"I'm going to get rid of my weird habit once and for all," he decided at last. He would throw it all away or donate it if that was more practical. He reached for his phone, debating whether or not he should text Jess.... but couldn't find the will to do it so he put his phone back down and continued to wallow.
She was standing on the edge of the world and didn't give a damn. She wasn't filled with awe or fear or anything. She felt nothing but the soft waves brushing against her legs. There was no wind, yet something seemed to cause her to lean back. She raised her hand up high as if to say, "You've won," and let herself fall into the nothingness.

She faded out of our existence as time passed by. She is no longer one of the familiar faces that we see in the supermarket or cafe or subway. She may appear in our dreams but she will not be herself. She would be assigned a role given to her by our consciousness. She became a name, a face, a series of obscure, unimportant facts.

"She once helped me carry my groceries," her elderly neighbor could say.

"I sold her a car," the salesman could say, holding up some sort of receipt.

"For some reason, she would always put honey on her toast," an old lover might remember.

And to us? She is even less than all of those trivial things. But because of that, maybe we are able to feel something for her.
He was the type of man who said "Thank you" in his head but the words were never able to escape his lips. Brown eyes stared directly ahead without any signs of hesitation, but the hands were more nervous. They were unsure of whether they should stay at the sides or behind his back, forever in a limbo that was the awkward swaying motion. He approached the cashier, a young brunette who smiled politely. She did not know how to smile impolitely.

"How may I help you today, sir?" she asked, the smile never leaving her face.

He let out a grumble or maybe he was simply mumbling. It didn't make a difference as it was incomprehensible to cashier.

"Can you repeat that, sir? I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that," the cashier said. Her eyebrows had furrowed slightly, indicating her confusion, but the smile had somehow remained. It must have taken years for her to perfect. Or perhaps it was because she had not been working for a long time and has not lost her sincerity yet.

"A pack of Marlboro," the man said in a still gruff, but clearer voice. He reached down his front pockets to pull out his wallet.

The cashier, having understood him this time, turned around to get the pack of cigarettes that was on the shelf behind her. "What kind?" she asked. It was uncertain whether or not she was still smiling or not.

"Reds," he replied, as if there wasn't any other possible answers.

The cashier plucked the Marlboro Red from the shelf and turned around, revealing a cheerful, smiling face. She then placed it on the counter so the man could reach for it.

"That would be $9.75," she said, after punching a series of number into the cash register.

He pulled out his plain brown wallet and handed the cashier a twenty.

"Out of twenty," she said because she was taught to. She then punched that into the register and it sputtered out a number. "Your change is $10.25."

She quickly withdrew money from the register: two fives and a quarter.

As the man reached for his change, their hands had awkwardly touched. The cashier remained unfazed and smiling, but the man's hands pulled back instinctively. The quarter fell onto the counter, creating a soft clink sound.

Realizing what had just happened, he swiped the coin and turned around without saying another word. He walked out of the liquor store, never looking back once.

"Have a nice day!" the cashier said from behind.

"Thank you," he said, only in his head.
As unromantic as it is, I have to admit that I could probably live without him. He is not the air I need to breathe nor is he the light that shines through the darkness of my otherwise lonely life. He is a person as I am a person. But I can also say that the I love him. At least, the person that I am as I type these words onto the page. I cannot speak for the person I will be because as we all know, everything in life changes. However, I can say with certainty that there is already a version of me who does not love him.

The "me" of the past who had never met him. My world existed before he existed in it so I know that I can live without him because I have done it before. I have lived without him so blissfully that one might wonder if meeting him at all was worth it because of all the chaos he has brought. And with this chaos, he has also created this delusion. He has made me believe that I could not possibly survive without him. He has made me believe that my world was a darker place before he had entered it. He has made me believe that all of the good times outweigh the bad times. He has made me believe that this is what I want. He is all that I need.

But that's not true.

I know it cannot be true. Past experiences and logic have proven it to not be true.

Yet, I still believe it. Feelings overthrow logic and I find myself loving him passionately without restrictions. He overwrites my memories and my thoughts. I am now nothing without him. Because I love him.

No, because he loves me.
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