Leolycan

Fables: After The Ever Afters

Ah. Didn't see that I guess. I'll respond asap.

Fables: After The Ever Afters

Yeah, I'm still here. Just waiting for the story to progress. Why?

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Round 2: Fox

Name:
Nicholas Norstrom
Title:
Nich, Nic, Nico
Age:
27
Gender:
Male
Appearance
Armor
Weapons:
Pistol x2
Superheated Katana
Shaped Charges x4
Miscellaneous items:
Ballcap Radio
Dogtags
Binoculars
Biography:

Born to a simple cyber-merchant family, Nico has been around technology for about as long as he'd been alive. Tinkering with different mechanisms and gizmos, the innermost workings of a machine became almost second nature to the boy. It was this prodigious talent that his father had come to nurture, often taking the boy to his shop so he could better hone and temper the skills of his offspring. By the time the boy turned 10, he was a sought after craftsman by the local people, able to fix and create things others deemed impossible at the time.

Being so focused on his skills, didn’t leave Nic a lot of time to converse with kids his age, often sitting and overhearing stories from the different tradesmen and vagabonds that had been passing through. It wasn’t long before the child felt lonely, but his attempts to connect with those his age were often met with blank stares and ridicule. He was wise beyond his years, seeming almost alien to those he now reluctantly called his ‘peers’, but that didn’t stop him yearning for social connection. As such, Faris was born.

Faris, a very simple automaton, was merely meant to be a plaything for the child of his own design. Though highly unremarkable when dormant, Faris sprung to life at a moment’s notice, retrieving small tools and effects at his creators request. Secretly, he confided in this little machine more than any living thing, seeing it as his only true friend out of all the world.

As Nicholas grew older, he couldn’t help but notice that things were changing around him. His father seemed a bit more on edge, and a sudden influx of unsavory customers had begun making trips to the shop. Nic didn’t really mind it all that much, until his father forbade him from coming into the shop anymore. This was a heavy blow to the boy, one that he would not accept lying down. Machines were his life! How dare his father try to take his only joy in the world from him? So Nicholas began plotting, trying to devise a way that he could sneak into his father’s shop undetected. It was with this idea that he began retrofitting Faris, placing recording hardware and crafting an interface of which to receive information from his newly re-purposed contraption. One night, he decided it was his time to act, and with that, the boy made his way back to his father’s shop.

It wasn’t odd for Nic’s father to spend extra time at the shop, but tonight was odd even for him. It had been well over a few hours, and part of the reason Nic snuck out that night versus waiting any longer. As he crept up behind the shop, an uneasy feeling settled over him. There was a series of loud noises coming from the shop, but this wasn’t the wielding and hammering he had become accustomed to… No, this was much more chaotic. Commanding Faris to scout out the building, the boy ducked against the back wall of the building, slipping inside the door that his father always kept unlocked.

What the boy saw next stunned him, a bloody and beaten man strewn about the floor as a gang of men stood above him, some with blood still fresh on their knuckles. Though he couldn’t get a clear view, he was sure Faris was now in position to see what was going on. Triggering the hud for his machination, the images that were present to the machine would become present to his master… But why was Faris watching him? As the boy began to ponder why his machine was observing him, a harrowing voice rang out from behind him.

“It’s not polite to eavesdrop, kid!” Shaken, Nicholas attempted to turn himself towards the source of the sound, only to feel himself shoved forward to the floor. Even before looking up, he knew all eyes were upon him, “This kid’s snoopin‘ around boss. Want a round in him?”

Looking up from his prone position, Nic’s eyes began to scan the room. Though much remained clouded, the fear distorting his sight, one image was perfectly clear… The body on the floor? His father’s.

“Dad!” the boy pushed himself up from the floor, attempting to rush to his father’s side. He wouldn’t make it very far, as he was pushed down again.

“Nico…” Was all the battered man could utter in reply, reaching out for his boy before one of the men kicked his arm away, causing a heavy groan from the man.

“So, this is your boy, Marcus? I’ve heard so much about him,” A well-dressed figure spoke from the front doorway. It was clear that this was the leader of the group before the boy, his flesh littered with tattoos and piercings that seemed almost as outlandish as his clothes. Still, his mere presence provoked fear in the boy as the man began to make his way towards him.

“Tell me,” the man spoke again, placing himself merely a foot from the boy, “is that little contraption yours?” As Nic matched his gaze, he would realize he was talking about Faris. Hesitant at first, the boy nodded. “I see… And where did you get such a thing, hmm?”

“I- I made it…” Nic whispered inaudibly, before hanging his head. A heavy hand snapped to his chin and forced his head to raise, forced to match his assailants gaze once more.

“Come again?” The man spoke once more, his entire form clouded in a stench of liquor and smoke.

“I made it!” the boy replied, practically shouting in panic.

An odd silence fell over the room as his head was released, the leader turning his back on the boy and directed his attention to his father. After what seemed like an eternity of silence, the man spoke again, “I think this will settle your debts... For now.”

And with that, the boy was knocked unconscious; the last thing he heard was the sound of his father’s protest.

---

And so the boy would work as a captive for the bandits for many years, patching up their equipment and repairing their machines. Very rarely was he given time to himself to actually enjoy his work, relying on Faris to keep his sanity intact and provide him a symbol of what he longed for. Over time, his despair turned to rage, and fueled his desire to escape. Spending so much time around the bandit’s weapons, he began remembering their schematics and sneaking parts away to replicate them. But that wasn’t enough… He knew as he was, he’d merely get himself killed the moment he stepped out of line, but something had to be done. As time went by, Nich feared he would never get the chance to truly be free, and be doomed to a life of slavery.

Yet, out of his darkness, a glimmer of hope emerged. After a raid, the bandit’s returned to the base with their spoils, all too eager to boast and brag about their new trophies. However, one piece stood out. At first glance, it seemed to be nothing more than a tattered recon suit. To the uninitiated, it was merely a worthless piece of scrap, but to Nicholas… This was his moment. Without fail, his captives tossed their ill-gotten wears on the man for repairs, and with this, he began his work. It took the better part of a year and with it several more bruises and scars, but the armor was finally ready. It enhanced the wearers agility and speed, all while bolstering as little bulk as possible. With this, Nich may actually have a fighting chance. Using Faris, he began surveying the compound, keeping track of patrol routines and guard rotations.

With all the information he could obtain analyzed and processed, Nicholas made his move. With armor and weapons dawned, he snuck his way out of his cell and about the compound. He did well not to draw attention, his movements spurred on by a mixture of fear and purpose… But it wouldn’t be long before the bandits noticed his absence and raised the alarms. Luckily, he had managed to rig explosives to several of the vehicles before making his escape in his own, casting a short glance behind him as the bombs ignited in a glorious burst of flame.

---

Now free to do as he wished, Nicholas went about searching for his family, only to discover they had packed up and moved on. Some said it was to escape the bastards that had been harassing them for protection; others said it was to escape a tragic memory. No one knew the truth of what had happened, but Nicholas knew this… He was on his own once more. Since his discovery, he’d begin traveling about the world, looking for a purpose for him and his machinations.

For awhile, he merely took odd jobs that others overlooked. Smuggling, demolition work, maintence, or crafting custom gear and machines, all of which he had done in the 3 year span he was alone. However, there was never a day where he didn't look back over his shoulder at least once. Though free from his captors, the fear they had instilled in him was still relevant. Though a freeman in body, he was a slave in mind. Try as he might, he was never able to convince himself that he was truly free... Until the Sky Pirates of the Crimson Dusicyon gave him that chance. With an opportunity to make name for himself and banish his innate fears, Nicholas signed on as a mechanic for the vessel. With Faris at his side, the young man stands ready to face whatever adversity comes his way.

Extra:
Considered a mechanical genius.
Values his machines as if they were people
Standoffish and cynical
Has a soft spot for Faris (his robotic companion shown in picture)
Doesn’t speak on his past
Novice in combat, yet excels in stealth

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@Vash

I'll think on it. You'll know shortly.

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@Vash

I thank you for your consideration, but I am reluctant. It's not the fact that my character is criticized, it's the fact that he seems almost mocked. If specific ways of which he seems 'bland' or blatantly overpowered, where given- that's one thing- but I'm not given specifics, just generalization.

'Your character is a Mary Sue, Your character is overpowered, Your writting is bad, etc.'

That's how it's coming across. If you told me my character is bland because: He lacks personality, his backstory seems copy and pasted, his skillset seems weak- that all I'm receptive to. Yeah, I may be a little adverse to criticism- and I won't go into why- but I do my best to adjust if given the cause for the criticism. So if someone can point out what I need to work on, I'll gladly thank them for their effort and take it into consideration. But as such, you already stated that this is a limited slot RP, and I don't want to take up the slot of someone who has a better flushed out character that fits the setting more naturally.

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@Penultimate_Pi

Sorry. I'm more than open for you to pm the write up, so I can look over it for furture references, but I'm withdrawing from this specific one. Thanks again for the offer, and thanks ahead if you send the feedback.

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Edit: Original post was a little salty, so I had to redact it.

I thank you for the pointers and critique, but as such, this is beyond my apparent level. As such, I'll be withdrawing, thank you all for your time.

Chronicles of Altea

Here is the finished product. Sorry if the Bio seems a little rushed, but the backstory of the character was a little harder to come up with than the character himself.

Character Sheet

Appearance

Name: Damian Baringer
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Age: 34
Faction: Luminous Knight (Knight)

Personality:

Duty bound and Zealous, Damian knows his job and he does it well. However, he is not quick to rejoice or revel in taking the life of another. Despite this, he believes his station is necessary to keep peace amongst the people and the land, lest the mages go mad with power and cause civilization to collapse. He is empathetic, but also stern in matters of discipline and social conduct. So long as you abide by the rules, he’ll treat you as a friend. Step out of line, and his attitude will drastically change.

Bio:
Born to a long line of Luminous Knights, Damian spent the earlier parts of his life as a squire for the order. He continued this line of service unitl he was old enough to join the order himself, and from there excelled in the practices and teachings of his mentors. Though a favorably strong combatant, Damian's real potential was his affinity and application with the power known as Luminosity. However, despite his potential, Damian never really applied himself to the art of combat.
That all seemed to change however, when a routine mission outside the city walls took a turn for the worst. Accompanied by his father- a paladin of the order- they were tasked with investigating reports of a band of magi that had taken to robbing and assaulting any caravan that left the city walls. Everything seemed to be just fine, until a squad of mages erupted from a nearby tree line, flinging spells and such against the patrol. The fighting would take some time to conclude, but ultimately the knights won out... However, Damian's father had been mortally wounded in the battle. With fear and rage, Damian collected his father's body and made a swift retreat back to the stronghold. By the time he was brought before the healers, it was already too late. It was then that Damian understood he could no longer be reserved in his methods, taking to his combat training with renewed vigor and zeal, quickly earning himself the notice of his superiors.
It has been ten years since the events of that day, Damian's rage now tempered into steadfast dedication to his cause. He'll fight to see this mage 'rebellion' squashed, and peace restored to the land. With Luminosity and his sword, Damian strives to be a grand example of a knight, and all they stand for.

Stats:
STR: 9
AGI: 5
PER: 6
INT: 6
WIS: 6
CHA: 8

Spells:

Imbue: Having a great affinity to Luminosity, Damian is able to enhance and enchant items with the spiritual power, giving them an edge when guarding or striking against magic.

Purging Flame: Drawing upon the powers of Luminosity, Damian is able to cast a torrent of flame upon an object or person. Any magical properties are cleansed from a target, any mage will suffer harm as the flame eats away at their very nature.

Banish: A close resemblance to Purging Flame, but this spell is specifically designed to obliterate or maim a target, as opposed to merely cleansing them. A magical creature or object will suffer massive damage, and even mages will feel themselves wracked with pain as the knight attempts to tear their essence apart.

Skills/Techniques:

Beacon: The Aura of Luminosity shines brightly around the knight. As such, other knights are encouraged and rally behind their comrade. Mages however dread the sight of the man, his mere presence being a hit to morale

Tactician: Having been born to a long lineage of Luminous Knights, the art of fighting mages is not foreign to Damian. As such, it’s easy for Damian to access the actions of his opponents and formulate a strategy around it.

Exploitative defense: Not usually the aggressor, Damian has mastered the art of fighting defensively. As such, he is able to parry and dodge attacks in such a manner that it will inevitably lead to an error in his opponents movements, allowing a decisive blow to be struck.

Excellent Cook: As odd as it may seem, Damian is quite handy in the kitchen. As such, even the most unlikely of ingredient can be used to cook a decent meal. With this culinary knowledge, he is able to determine common poisonous or hazardous flora.

Combat strategy:

At the start of every combat, Damian will always enchant his own gear with Imbue in order to give him an advantage when fighting mages. Though he will be among the first to enter melee combat, he’s known to skirt the edges of a battle in an attempt to seize advantageous terrain. Once in combat, he is a passive fighter- focusing more on allowing his opponent to tire themselves out or have a lapse in judgement he can exploit. Though looking to end the fight quickly with one blow, he will avoid fatal strikes if he believes the target is not beyond reason… But will deliver a killing blow if his foe seems dangerous and belligerent.

His spells come into play when a mage begins to enchant or summon something, quickly turning upon the afflicted target to halt any attempts to strategize with them. Very rarely will he use banish on a living being, but will do so if he believes it is the best course of action.

Honor holds a very high import to Damian, taking it upon himself to uphold the tenants of chivalrous combat. He will never: strike a defenseless foe, fell a surrendering captive, default to means of assassinations or poisons, attempt to harm others to get at his targets, or strike an unaware opponent. Battles are won and lost on honor, and we will see his untarnished

Equipment:

Etched Claymore: A mighty blade adorned with runes and other markings, the notches in the blade illuminates when imbued with Luminosity.

Etched Full-Plate: Crafted in much the same way as his weapon, the armor glows when exposed to Luminous magic.

Order Mount: A horse issued to him by the Knights, complete with ring mail barding and saddlebags. This almost always carries camping supplies and other tools needed for survival.

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@NuttsnBolts

I guess my problem is I don't see him as overpowered, but that's all a matter of perspective. Well established, maybe, but there's nothing in there about him being able to one man an army or create automatons. Still, I feel like he's flawed (in relation to the universe) and as such have no real way to adjust him other than to scrap him.

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<Snipped quote by Mr_pink>

Mate, you can play her now if you want.

We have ten writer spots. Not character spots. If you want to play multiple characters, go right ahead.

@Caits
After some deliberation, I wished to ask you to keep an eye out for a better photo. On a professionalism's level, a stock photo isn't exactly awesome.
@Inuyasha after discussing him, a consensus was reached. Clint Eastwood your sky cowboy is accepted.
@leolycan

After a long discussion, we have several problems with your charrie.

1: he comes across as Gary stu. This is a big nono.
2: he comes across as a jack of all trades, master of all. The formula normally is: jack of all trades, master of none. Keep this in mind for the rewrite.
3: your bio is very vague. Enough so to make us stop and question his position. I doubt a special operations team would take somebody with a "knack' for espionage or moderate physical traits. Please elaborate on this.

@Vash

1: Not very clear on this term and what it means... So I have no retort on that one other then to say I'm sorry?
2: He's a tinkerer. He's handy in the form of invention and stealth, with no real outstanding physical strength or prowess to speak of. In range of 1-10: Machines 8, stealh 7, combat and physical strength 4-5. As such, if I wrote his physical strength as being more than it is, I'd be more then happy to change it.
3: I understand that it was vague. Half the reason I contacted you in PM, because even after reading the setting, I wasn't sure if you had fully mapped out the world or if you were looking for the pcs to build it. As such, I could've gone into greater detail, but the CS was merely to give an impression of the character. The reason why said spec-ops took him was they saw an ability that they could refine. So it took him from (respectfully from before): 6-5-3 to his stats now.