@Akayaofthemoon My brain is feeling super bleh so I don't know how well I can read it right now or make an Eve post so ; V ; Thank you for continuing the feels, I'll be able to spare you all...for a while...
Loony
Member
Moved. Ask for my new account.
STATUS: Remember my joke theory about how the world ended in 2012 and each subsequent year has just been a layer by layer descent into hell? It feels less and less like a joke each year. 6 yrs ago- Last Seen: 4 yrs ago
- Joined: 11 yrs ago
- Posts: 3807 (0.95 / day)
- VMs: 2
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Username history
- Loony 11 yrs ago
Status
Recent Statuses
6 yrs ago
Current
Remember my joke theory about how the world ended in 2012 and each subsequent year has just been a layer by layer descent into hell? It feels less and less like a joke each year.
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6 yrs ago
Bro it's so weird thinking I was 15 when I joined here. I'm turning 21 in March. Time is a scam.
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Bio
MISERY ABOUNDS! WE WILL NOT HEAL.
Most Recent Posts
@Akayaofthemoon I guess I'm part to blame XD
Anbkjfdkg the feeeeels.
Eep, I may or may not have added onto that pre-made post, so- *shot*
Newest IC: In which Eve gives her overly long and emotional apology and we can slowly see her self-loathing grow bigger and bigger.
Newest IC: In which Eve gives her overly long and emotional apology and we can slowly see her self-loathing grow bigger and bigger.
"Eve."
A long silence followed. There was so much Eve wanted to tell her, but now that she had the chance, she found it hard to find the right words, to form proper sentences. She thought once again of the papers she had written, wishing she had them with her. Perhaps Sodalite would never see those papers, but she had to hear what, in essence, was written, and she had to hear it now. Thus with a deep breath, she began,
"...I have...A lot to tell you," she said slowly, her voice regaining its usual composure, "So much to tell you, that I'm not entirely sure where to begin. There's Bloodstone and the truce and Earth a-and...and Howlite..." The yellow gem's nails dug into her palms at the mention of the newborn -no, young, no, dead- gem.
"However, if we're even going to talk, I think this needs to be said first. I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again. Maybe you won't want to hear it, and maybe you won't accept it, but that's okay, because either way, it needs to be acknowledged."
Eve's gaze fell to the floor, taking in another deep breath before fixing her gaze back on Sodalite. It was hard to look her in the eye, but unlike last time, she would do so. Eve felt it was important to do so, somehow. Maybe she'll see something in them that she wouldn't hear in her words, but whatever the reason, she would not look away.
"For what happened that month ago, and before that...I'm really, really sorry. I wish I had the words to explain just how sorry I am. What you had done was incredibly brave and touching, Sodalite, and I was too angry at the time to see that, and I was too angry to realise that I had hurt you, and that it was in no way right for me to have left you all as newborns, because I should've been there for you all-"
Should've been there for Howlite.
"-And though I'm sure you regret it now, know that what you did wasn't wrong. I still stand by what I said back then, that your concern really shouldn't lie in me, but with Aquamarine and the others younger gems. But I suppose I'm a hypocrite for saying that, because for as long as I was on Bloodstone's ship, I worried about you. That's the main reason I came back..."
At this point, there was no more slow, careful speaking. Her words tumbled out ceaselessly and without any hesitation, the composure lost.
"I wanted to see you again, Sodalite. See if you were okay. See if maybe you could forgive me, and, y-you know...And you don't have to forgive me, and I understand why if you don't, and l-like...It's okay. It's okay if you never forgive me, or if you hate, because I don't think I forgive me either and I think I'm starting to hate me too, and it's okay if you never want to see my face or hear me speak again. I'm alright with that. I want your forgiveness a lot more than I think I want to admit. I'd spend hours writing and re-writing apologies because I couldn't ever get them right and I doubted you'd even want to hear me speak, but if you don't forgive me...I can accept it. As long as you're okay and you're not still hurting over something stupid like me, because even if it seems stupid now with everything else happening, if I'm hurting this much and I wasn't on the receiving end then I know you're still hurting, so as long as you aren't anymore, I'm okay with that. Because you don't deserve to feel that way over me. Forgiven or not, I want...I just want you to move on and feel better."
By the end of her speech she felt the lump in her throat once again. The last of her words, despite this, were soft. Quiet.
"I missed you."
The lump in her throat seemed to grow and she felt strange tight feeling in her chest. No tears were beginning to form but it sounded as if any moment they would appear.
"I missed you a lot, y-you know that?"
Dear skies Eve, you sound pathetic. Why are you wasting this poor girl's time?
A long silence followed. There was so much Eve wanted to tell her, but now that she had the chance, she found it hard to find the right words, to form proper sentences. She thought once again of the papers she had written, wishing she had them with her. Perhaps Sodalite would never see those papers, but she had to hear what, in essence, was written, and she had to hear it now. Thus with a deep breath, she began,
"...I have...A lot to tell you," she said slowly, her voice regaining its usual composure, "So much to tell you, that I'm not entirely sure where to begin. There's Bloodstone and the truce and Earth a-and...and Howlite..." The yellow gem's nails dug into her palms at the mention of the newborn -no, young, no, dead- gem.
"However, if we're even going to talk, I think this needs to be said first. I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again. Maybe you won't want to hear it, and maybe you won't accept it, but that's okay, because either way, it needs to be acknowledged."
Eve's gaze fell to the floor, taking in another deep breath before fixing her gaze back on Sodalite. It was hard to look her in the eye, but unlike last time, she would do so. Eve felt it was important to do so, somehow. Maybe she'll see something in them that she wouldn't hear in her words, but whatever the reason, she would not look away.
"For what happened that month ago, and before that...I'm really, really sorry. I wish I had the words to explain just how sorry I am. What you had done was incredibly brave and touching, Sodalite, and I was too angry at the time to see that, and I was too angry to realise that I had hurt you, and that it was in no way right for me to have left you all as newborns, because I should've been there for you all-"
Should've been there for Howlite.
"-And though I'm sure you regret it now, know that what you did wasn't wrong. I still stand by what I said back then, that your concern really shouldn't lie in me, but with Aquamarine and the others younger gems. But I suppose I'm a hypocrite for saying that, because for as long as I was on Bloodstone's ship, I worried about you. That's the main reason I came back..."
At this point, there was no more slow, careful speaking. Her words tumbled out ceaselessly and without any hesitation, the composure lost.
"I wanted to see you again, Sodalite. See if you were okay. See if maybe you could forgive me, and, y-you know...And you don't have to forgive me, and I understand why if you don't, and l-like...It's okay. It's okay if you never forgive me, or if you hate, because I don't think I forgive me either and I think I'm starting to hate me too, and it's okay if you never want to see my face or hear me speak again. I'm alright with that. I want your forgiveness a lot more than I think I want to admit. I'd spend hours writing and re-writing apologies because I couldn't ever get them right and I doubted you'd even want to hear me speak, but if you don't forgive me...I can accept it. As long as you're okay and you're not still hurting over something stupid like me, because even if it seems stupid now with everything else happening, if I'm hurting this much and I wasn't on the receiving end then I know you're still hurting, so as long as you aren't anymore, I'm okay with that. Because you don't deserve to feel that way over me. Forgiven or not, I want...I just want you to move on and feel better."
By the end of her speech she felt the lump in her throat once again. The last of her words, despite this, were soft. Quiet.
"I missed you."
The lump in her throat seemed to grow and she felt strange tight feeling in her chest. No tears were beginning to form but it sounded as if any moment they would appear.
"I missed you a lot, y-you know that?"
Dear skies Eve, you sound pathetic. Why are you wasting this poor girl's time?
Sodalite x the Internet
Giles x the Internet
Fight for the internet's love!
Is this how the Nerd Herd will break up? Over their love for the internet? ;_____;
Also Sodalite X Her Room because it's the one thing she'll never leave *shot*
"At least maybe she would get to see Eve."
You had you chance Aqua and didn't even notice. XD
@Kronshi Technically it's fossilised (petrified usually refers to mineralized wood and jet's a mineraloid, a form of lignite which is like coal), but yes, it is tree, therefore Groot.
There is no escape from the Groot.
We //are//Groot.
There is no escape from the Groot.
We //are//Groot.
@Akayaofthemoon My brain did a thing, and this happened. I blame it on the doctors who performed surgery on me *Shot*
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