Status

Recent Statuses

10 days ago
Current I looove the hot sunshine today <3
11 days ago
So sick and tired of hearing "it is what it is." No it's not..not anymore.
1 like
16 days ago
I've decided to leave the 1x1 section for a while now but I'll still be here writing my own stuff and maybe/hopefully GMing my own group roleplay. <3 MY partners who have understood from the start. TY
3 likes
17 days ago
Feeling happy right now. Must enjoy it because something will come along and destroy it sooner or later.
4 likes
18 days ago
Almost been awake 24 hours... should I just give in or should I wait?

Bio






Because I should really update this?

Most Recent Posts







"Just take them! Do it! The pain will all go away as soon as you close your eyes..."
Her voice was reassuring and wicked but there was always a "BUT" or "HOW" that spoke up.
Her voice was much calmer yet it held the most authority.
Each and every damn time she would find a way to meddle into the nonsense and with victory save me..
Least I can only try and make the next few days go by without being ungrateful again.



====

Update: due to my own personal circumstances I'm putting this on hold but I'll hope to start it up again soon... I actually have a ton of it planned out and set up already with the help of a friend :)

<3
@Arista yay! :)


As much as my head is always full of ideas and as of late I've come to realize I need to get them all out written down otherwise I feel like I'm going to go insane.

SO... I guess you clicked this because you thought they'd be some amazing SOL idea here and the #tags caught your attention too.

WELL I firstly need to know whether anyone would be interested in such a thing... please take the #tags seriously but as much as I've seen a HUGE amount of these sorts of stories done in the past.. I'll make sure that the story will be different to all the other high school/college stories... and no I do not mean it'll have fantasy added because I don't really enjoy it that much to include it.

I am open for this to be a huge group and also a small group that may just contain 4-6 players with doubling characters each. This being said, I may just stick to being the GM/story pusher. Depends.

I'd like it to be casual-mid casual - no essays and no one liners. I'm not the harshest of people over how much they should write just as long as it can move things along and has structure and makes sense then whatever. :)

Err it's been ages since I've wanted to dabble in a group role play, just as of recently I've become more with writing my own stories and such maybe I need to expand out again.. also if you ever do come across my own writing and notice it's in 1st person mainly DON'T PANIC ! I know most people and noticed every story written is from 3rd POV only so it'll be 3RD POV. just to clear that up? MEH whatever.

ANYWHO... I know this isn't the most exciting interest thread but if you feel just a tad interested then I may just have to work my magic on a new interest thread in the casual section. - I'd hate to make it there first and get no interest.


BONUS POINTS ; Always happy to have a CO-GM(s) if there is someone out there who wants to also create a group role play but hasn't the time or just wants to help? - I'd certainly love a partner who would want to work with me and my ideas and whatever.
+++ This is an actual inspired writing piece from a -currently on pause- roleplay that I just thought what they heck let's write this up and only that said 'roleplayer' on here will know what this is about as it's our story and our characters and if you ever do get to stumble upon this then I hope you dont mind :) +++

- x -

Taking fate into my own hands
(One shot story - This is how I envisioned the beginning)



"So I don't have a say in this?"
"No. No you do not son and this is final. End of discussion and.."

I didn't hesitate to heavily push through the heavy oak door. My father; the king had paused in his words towards my oldest brother who gave me an as surprised look as what my father did. I stood still then as my feet felt nested to the ground as my eyes flickered between the two, my father looked puzzled at first but then he crossed his arms over his chest like he was getting ready to discipline me for something I had or hadn't done. Then as I looked over at my brother he shook his head, didn't even seem too pleased to see me either apparently because we both knew why I was here.

"Thomas? Are you just going to stand there or is there a reason why you barged in.. you intruded on a private matter." My father spoke all too confident as he sat behind his huge oak desk while my brother was stood just at the tip of it, being stuck in the middle of us now.

"Yes..there's a reason.." I breathed out and quite frankly needed to intake a huge one before I started again. I shifted my gaze again directly to Lee with that look on his face almost pleading that I keep my big mouth shut for once.. sorry bro not today, not ever.

I glance back and focus all my attention back on the king.

"I am replacing Ren. I do not care what you say father.. Ren.. he won't survive all on his own and I'm not about to let him be around more than 1 - even if he does become mates with 'the one' what's to think that they won't just use him.. hes so sensitive and needs protecting and if so be it that I take his place then least I'll know he'll be more safer here at home.. with yous" I breathed and for a moment I glance back at Lee as if I was seeking some sort of back up or understanding that what I'd said was true, but all I saw was my brother now chewing his lip nervously while observing our fathers reaction to this sudden declaration. Yes it's a declaration that I will not be taking a no as the answer.

I also then turn to see how the king has reacted but by then hes already standing, taller than me but he has nothing on Lee as they stand side by side. He lazily lifts his arm up and sighs running his fingers through his now gray hair then it effortlessly fell back to his side.

His grey eyes scaled my body from head to toe until he finally looked straight at me. "You.. you know your older brother has already put himself up to take his place but my my... you an all' Listen I know how much you both worry for him but he's a big boy and I'm sure he will be fine so please if you may.." his voice was cool but had a dark edge to it trailing off while his hand outstretched again but only to point to the door as my eyes followed. The king was ordering me out and that only made me more pissed off with the whole situation and him. I was never involved in these 'private talks' yet I always found a way to find out and just like now... I was going make sure to have my input this time.

"No! I am not letting this happen! You dont spend enough time with him to know that he'll be okay.. you don't even know these alphas! And you want to send Ren to find out?!" I raised my voice as my hands clenched into fists by my side and that's when I felt Lee's warm hand grab at my arm, trying to assist me to calm down and leave. Nope. Not happening. I was pretty adamant to stand up to my father this time and pulled my arm out of his grip only to shuffle more forward towards the desk.

"I. am. going. to. replace. Ren." I made sure to speak much slowly first to which my father titled his head curiously and I continued "There is no name on the contract so they do not need to know.. plus I'm pretty sure Ren would be more than happy to hear he gets to stay with one of his brothers than being alone..." I watched as his eyes trailed over towards Lee behind me with a scowling look then he equally gave the same look towards me. "He didn't tell me or Ren a thing.. I've just got good hearing.." it wasn't exactly a lie but after the first few times of listening to their conversations I just knew Lee would have to tell me everything, including the contract - terms and conditions.

One year away from home didn't seem all that bad..

I am my most harshest and biggest critic with everything I do, more so I realize it I'm the worst when it comes to my writing. As much as I love meeting new people and writing stories mainly situated in 1x1 situations it has occurred to me for a while now - While I have decided to buy my KU back - I've been devouring stories like no mans business.. AND I just guess seeing as I am struggling with PTSD and other mental issues that I just need this as my other outlet of being free from all the worries and daily struggles.. well at least for a while then it all comes back to haunt me in some way.

And before anyone gets the wrong idea.. I AM NOT IDOLIZING anything in my stories / one shot stories that bullying, self harm and other mental issues are a laughing/joking matter BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT. I've been on the receiving end of bullying pretty much my whole life and still till this day it's the mentality side of it that makes it a lot hard to cope with sometimes especially if you don't consider any sort of help - i.e me - I self medicate myself and find ways to cope until I know one day I'll break.

I am self aware that anyone can read these but AGAIN please don't say I didn't warn you the first time.

The first post may be a bit bland and you may think "theres no real sign of abuse here or it seems so placid.." then you best not read anything else that follows because it'll get darker. ALSO yes I write in first person and I may write in third person too but seeing as it's me only writing... and I find it a whole lot easier this way too so - I DO NOT CARE IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT ! - I didn't force you in so you know where the back/home button is :)




( I have not named this story yet but this will most likely be a work in progress story.. all these characters are made up in my head so there will be no picture references (not for a long time yet..) this is simply me writing whatever flows through my mind at the time and when I feel interest perk up for me to be able to continue then I'll just write a follow up :) )

- x -


"Sarah! Sarah! Wake up! .. come on wake up luv' you're going to be late for school otherwise...SAR." the woman choked up at the end with a very unhealthy cough; sounding like she had already smoked a pack of cigarettes this morning alone.

"Sar.." her voice was horsed from all the shouting, the last few months it became more frequent. It wasn't all my fault per say but I wasn't helping it either. I kept my eyes shut but we both knew that I was awake. Had I even been to sleep yet? I felt her hand rest on my shoulder then...

"Alright alright. I'm up!" my voice snapped as my eyes flung open as they darted towards her direction. I tried everything in my will to hold back the harsh sharpness in my words. Clearly it didn't work. It slipped in there though because I noticed how my mother winced back, scared. Her already 'too tired for this bullshit' eyes stare off behind me before they land back on me while she backs away, back towards my bedroom door. I've been having that effect recently and I just don't know how else to control it. After a few silent curse words to myself; I sit up slowly while I only wore a white tank top to bed, my black curls fell past my slouched shoulders, feeling already exhausted and today hadn't even fully begun.

The rest of my naked form was covered still by my blanket and I dreaded having to move in the next few minutes to finally get dressed.

"Sorry Ma, I'm up and I'll just have to walk a lot quicker today.. it's no biggie" I lied and hated it so much, how my mother couldn't realize when I was chocking up on my own words. It was such a huge deal because at times I found it a struggle to even walk to the shop. Just around the corner.. it's our shop just around the corner, the ones that just sit empty for most part of the day but by nighttime you can bet anything; it's ram packed with people buying cheap alcohol and cigarettes. "I..I'm sorry I got angry.. you know I'm not a morning person" which wasn't a lie yet it felt like one now. Why do I feel like a terrible person? I tried a soft attempt at a smile but it certainly didn't portray how I was feeling on the inside. Was I even a person? Everyday I became more aware of patterns, this regular cycle of the same events happening day in and day out. The feeling of being trapped in a body, no scratch that.. soul that I rarely even recognize as my own anymore.

"Sticks and Stones, They may break your bones, But words will never hurt you"

A silent moment fell as quick as my mothers word spoke out and I could sense she believed in them when she attempted to push a smile through. Just barely but it was there and I looked away just so I could roll my eyes. Being naive was one thing but If only she'd known that those words were a load of trash.. sticks and stones did break my bones and words were most certainly the worst part of it all.

"Please try and stay all day today" her voice was first to break the silence but it came out all hoarse again as my eyes peered in her direction, she wasn't waiting for any response as she seemed to slip back behind my door. That was the most unlikely thing to happen today, just like any other day I got up and headed straight for my shower.
ᴛʜɪs ɪs ғᴏʀ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟ ᴜsᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇ ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛɪɴɢ ʙᴜᴛ ғᴇᴇʟ ғʀᴇᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟᴜʀᴋ.. ;)
ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴀ 𝟷𝟾+ (ᴍ) ʀᴀᴛɪɴɢ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ.
(Yes I'll be following the site rules too!)





للخطيئة


xoxo

Will edit this later.
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This is going to be basic & tiny.
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-I will disappear sometimes because life gets too much and work is exhausting sometimes! I will try to keep you in the loop... but sometimes I won't have a chance & I apologize straight up right now.
-I'd prefer to keep things casual! Although I can write a lot when I am feeling inspired.. as of lately I still need to find that 'spark' back so at the most now I can generally write 2-4 paragraphs but hey I always see "It's not the length but the way you present it" kind of thing so hey lets just have fun y'know... no one liners <-- that's the deal.
-Er.. I'd like a partner who understands that life/work comes first, writing is something I use to escape my stress but even then sometimes it steers me away from it because I can't do life & to even comprehend how to escape that in writing is tricky for me..... I do enjoy OOC chit chat generally whether it be about the story & also just random stuff so even if I've not replied just send me a 'hey how you doing' message always brightens my day :)
-I can write male & female characters but I do enjoy M/M pairings the most but I know it's not every ones cup of tea... but I don't want to be playing male to a female every time! there will be a limit on this :)
-I only generally dive in with these genres ; slice of life/modern/romance/drama/mature18+/adventure.
-I do enjoy all my stories being 18+ but I don't want them to be smut orientated.. it'll be split with story & character development being the most important aspect first :)

========================================================================
/College dorm mates
/Bully x Popular
/Popular x Outcast
/Popular x Transferred Popular
/Teacher x Student
/Boyfriend x Girlfriends Brother
/Lead singer x Singer(Same band)
/Actor x Actor
/Boss x Employee
=========================================================================

For now that's all I have.

Again, sorry to those who might see me now as a dick & want nothing to do with me, no hard feelings because my feelings are already being squashed enough that If I don't have this to come back too.. then what else do I have.

<3 PLEASE ONLY PM ME <3
Looking for maybe 1 more person? Or 2?
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