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--_.- bump.001.}
Quite interesting indeed. Count me in.
Death by cat stomach acid and pancreatic enzymes.
I'm all for transparency and offering criticism where it is needed. It needs to be done graciously, and if you ask me, privately. Posting OOC criticism can bring negative feedback from others since most would interpret said criticism as a personal attack. Every roleplayer should improve their writing skills, and if it takes a nudge or two to put them in the right direction, why not?

But what also needs to be taken into consideration is that some just don't want to improve, and prefer to play as they usually do. This mentality usually comes from a lack of serious interest in roleplaying. What I mean by that is they don't really find the pleasure in sitting down and plotting the next move of their character, and just goes with what feels appropriate, and perhaps, awesome at the moment; or, like you suggested, they're outright lazy and reiterate what others have written before them.

As to who should be responsible for telling the player what they're doing wrong, I believe anyone who wishes to help others improve. Perhaps the GM won't necessarily mind that player's writing style (or lack thereof) since it does not directly affect the story in one way or another. Thus, the intervention of a player is most needed. So what if multiple criticisms arrive on their end? There's an infamous saying in my country which I find fitting here, and it roughly translates to:

"If two people tell you you're drunk, perhaps it's time to go home."




-Plot-


In 2035, humanity has evolved with a bitter taste in its mouth after a long-drawn conflict against terrorism. Massive amounts of PMCs that formed in the two-decade time span have either disbanded or dissolved in a larger company, Artemis Security Group. The CEO of this PMC had gained massive popularity, reaching a cult following for his brash and bold statements against terrorist threats and unrelenting attitude in his efforts to eliminate extremism. His influence and economic strength have grown to a point that the people of U.S. prefer to call ASG's hotline for security and law enforcement, as well as for medical emergencies or for firefighting. If one would walk down the street, one would see at least a few ASG law enforcers, while government agents are either nowhere to be seen, or have left the public space and joined the private sector.

The mainstream media's attitude and agenda have fundamentally changed, as news companies are obligated to inform the public of their bias. Technology advancement has made information very easy to access, scholarly articles can now be interpreted by the common man. Social media has become an integral part of human culture, one would be hard-pressed to find someone without at least one active account on a social media platform. With all this, people are growing more and more disconnected from one another. Handheld devices have become nearly indispensable, as more and more technologies are being produced to facilitate connection with the virtual sphere; yet, very little is done to alleviate the disjointing of the population. With the political scene constantly being on the ice and under heavy criticism, it would seem that the resolution of terrorist conflict has disbanded the people further.

Public domain jobs are slowly becoming less desirable due to the workplace quality and paycheck being more attractive within ASG's branches. The private sector has flourished thoroughly, as the company has extended its business across multiple fields of activity, including IT, robotics, fossil and alternative fuel development.

Now, where does the player fit in all this? A certain friend invited you, as well as other acquaintances, over to his workshop to celebrate his failure with some beer, to paraphrase his text message. He's a brilliant engineer specialized in robotics and material resistances, who has developed a prototype for an advanced combat suit destined to fight in covert ops theaters. He entered a design competition with it, and despite the groundbreaking technology he presented, ASG has opted for a different design. So, here's the math:

Beer + advanced stealth combat suit + bad decisions = stumbling upon something dire, that would make conspiracy theorists seem tame.

The catch here is that the end goal is really not sounding all that bad, but the means to achieve it are worrying. With so much power on their hands, this force willing to drive the blind and divided population forward in a new world system might get heavily corrupted on the way, IF they're not already oozing with corruption.






-Details-


Now that was a mouthful, huh?

Have you ever wanted to sneak into corporate buildings and steal valuable information from the server room, sneaking past guards, cameras and deactivating motion sensors on the way? Have you ever dreamed of dashing and hurling yourself from rooftop to another while frantically chased by law enforcement VTOLs? Is brawling with security hand-to-hand, with nightsticks, stun batons, or even fucking swords a wet dream of yours? Is the prospect of lying to your friends, helping your mates not to fall into desperation or motivating your team to stay in the fight attractive? Then this is the roleplay for you!

I am currently seeking for someone sharing the same sort of interest towards half-utopian half-dystopian futuristic roleplay, with realistic technologies and advancement of social interaction. If you really want labels, post-cyberpunk.

The player will take the role of the character being called over by this friend; it would seem rather odd since your connections with him haven't been that strong since neither of you really spent time nurturing your friendship. What will follow is a series of misadventures as they struggle to keep their social lives intact while plotting to do something about this conspiracy they discover. In essence, two vs the world. Bear in mind that I will mostly be a GM rather than a player, but that doesn't mean you cannot contribute! In fact, I encourage you! Surprise me: make poor or brilliant decisions, twist and turn the story, play with the feelings of characters, lie, fall in love, isolate, go insane, grow a thick skin, throw everything you've got on the table to make this journey unforgettable and absolutely fucking badass.

What do I expect of my partner?

    1. Be over 18. There will be no adult themes, but several mature issues will be approached.
    2. English is not my first language, but that does not stop me from improving my writing. Therefore, I wish to see the same effort coming from you. Spellchecking, grammar checking, I do those as well. Even so, I am aware mistakes slip past, I make a lot of them too; don't worry, I'll most likely never draw attention upon that unless it's REALLY bad.
    3. Quality over quantity, but I'm all for quality AND quantity. We won't be spewing novels back and forth, don't worry, but I do enjoy sitting down and reading through my partner's writings.
    4. Contribute to plot development. I have the story plotted out, but I'm also prepared for any surprise twists and changes to the dynamic of the progress
    5. Don't confuse IC with OOC. This will be taken in PMs, thus, we will have two separate threads for in and out of character.
    6. You may have noticed that I haven't specified a pairing, mainly because this is a player & the world, rather than player & player. Both male and female characters are welcome!
    7. If you wish to play more than one character, do let me know so we can figure out what can be done, aight?
    8. Gotta disappear for a few days because of x and y reason? Shoot a PM so I'm at least informed that you're going off the grid.
    9. To enjoy and have fun. Something goes awry, please to tell so we can shift things around and make everything interesting once more.


What can you expect from me?

    1. A laid-back, relaxed dude open to most things. If you have a stupid idea, bring it! If it's backed with a good argument, it may get implemented.
    2. I'm a big doofus. I may mix things up, do some stupid stuff myself, forget shit, you name it.
    3. Story-wise, you can expect tension, drama, explosive action, more tension, an unrelenting play of heartstrings, epiphany, tragedy, misery, uplift. I love to play with my player's emotions, I'm notorious in my tabletop RPG group for bringing people to tears and really hit home with themes and situations.
    4. Lots of rad music and imagery! From high-intensity drum&bass rhythms to poignant ambiance tunes, from fitful metal-themed fight music to unnerving stealth cues.
    5. I love atmospheric world building, so I might get very descriptive with the surroundings. I find that there's a lot of personality that can be found in a backdrop, and really, when you're trying to sneak around or find an escape route, attention to detail and surroundings will save you.
    6. Back-up plans for mostly everything. I am prepared for the wildest outcomes because what I want is to tailor the world's evolution around the player's decisions. The player will adapt to the challenges I have to give, the opposing party will adapt to the player's input.
    7. Consistent replies, unless I specifically state otherwise. I will keep you up to date with my progress on the post
    8. Transparency. If I don't like something, I will let you know. If I'm extremely excited about something, again, you will know.
    9. To have fun, above all. Yes, it's a serious themed story with some pretty difficult stuff to tackle, but it's those hardships that are fun to face with someone just as willing.





If you're still here and interested, please, throw a PM my way so we can discuss some final details and jump right in! I'd rather keep this thread clean for bumping purposes, all replies to my interest check will be ignored. I hope to hear from you soon.

But, remember:
Trust no-one
Shut down all of your devices
Wipe all of your memory disks
Stay out of sight

They know.

Oh no, my masterfully crafted scheme has been exposed, what will I ever do?

Probably post some more pictures at a later time, under the same pretense of "this is a bad idea/mistake/shouldn't do this".
youtube.com/watch?v=Lxbdvo2vFwc

The comment section of this video has made me a happy lad'


I'm now a very happy man as well, to see people of a community that I enjoy disprove of this "cultural enrichment" Europa has to suffer.
Deciding to not end it all.

I've failed the entrance exam twice (nailed it on the third attempt) to the University I coveted. Once I got in, I decided that I will rework my lifestyle and change everything about me, so I will enjoy life as a hard-working student. A few weeks in, I found out just how big of a letdown this University I am attending to is; everything you can think of is poorly organized and the professors there have rather absurd demands, since they don't know any better. Enter dysphoria, and lack of motivation. I try to look for kernels of hope in this massive turd, find very few and in-between. Third year in (the curriculum I'm following lasts six years), there are just too few reasons for me to even try anymore. My relationship was in the toilet and sinking further down, I'm barely attending lectures, I'm plagued by insomnia and stress (since I find no good reason to study); I'm having panic attacks, due to that I'm not very prepared for exams and tests, so I try to study until late, or rather, early in the morning. Because my grades were piss poor, the state stops paying for my education and now I have to tell my mother that she has to pay my tuition (not from the US, in case you're wondering, and we're struggling with our financial situation). I get suspicious of my girlfriend, I lash at her and the other person, at my family, at people around me; I come to the conclusion that I am a burden to everyone, and to society. And, honestly, no one was stating the otherwise either.

So, I laid in bed, eyes wide open staring at the ceiling, heart beating itself out of my chest. I had a glass of water by my bed, and a box full of Zopiclone (sleeping pills). Funny thing is, I wasn't trying to convince myself to do it; I find this nagging idea that I should not, and I start to obsess over it, as I'm rationalizing why I should take the lot and swallow. I'm not sure how I could stay so still and debate this with myself for so long, and just how something in my brain locked me in place as it tried to stop me from completing what I have carefully premeditated. But, all of a sudden, I find it hard to be egoistical for once in my life. I just see how everyone would crumble around me: my mother, my sister, my grandparents, people that knew me. Before this moment, I couldn't care less, but right there and then, it started to hurt. Not only because of my vivid imagination soaring and just playing scenarios in my head, but also because I felt so weak and cowardly that I did not have control over the very last decision I could make. I felt I was too cowardly to complete it. And to think, it was the perfect moment, no one would observe or know until it was too late. The last hurdle was myself.

Now, I find it amusing that I had become a hurdle to myself. Dawn broke, my plan had been foiled. It has been one year since, and right now I'm dealing with much of the same situation regarding the University. Some might find it masochistic that I decided to pursue this career path when it is obviously burying me an early grave, but I have harnessed a very intimate experience and knowledge about death. I want to believe that this experience will help me combat it better, for I shall dedicate my life to combat it through the oath I want to take. I will recite it loud on proud, with the very lips that wanted nothing more but to kiss my sworn enemy.
With days quickly passing by unnoticed, the heir found himself rather overwhelmed with the amount of stress clambered unto his shoulders. Sure, it just seemed that the day of reckoning couldn't arrive yet, but at the same time, he would realize in stupefaction that another day and night has passed without finding motivation to prepare himself for the liberation of his home province. As if it were not enough, he had knowledge of mutiny; that alone would put any nobleman on his toes, never mind all of the other issues that just seem to pool up. Even the sleeping draught couldn't help him find some sort of comfort, as his nights were still crept and stalked upon by night terrors.

It helped him, to some extent, that he took the next day to refrain from undergoing any strenuous duty that would push him into exhaustion. The talk he had with the human envoy was a pleasant welcome, since he had to keep his snout shut most of the time, and only drive his answers wherever he wanted, much like a relaxed interrogation. To that, madame Shroudmyre had to add her own story, so she could leave just as a good impression as Marcus. Aleko barely had to say anything again, as he slowly followed the woman just with his gaze. He rubbed his own nose a few times as he felt his focus slip several times, even more so when the woman's own piercing gaze seemed to just shamelessly penetrate his intimacy; clearly, she was a devious creature, willing to use dirty tricks to gain favor and personal winnings, even if it meant that she would use womanly charms on a young heir.

I am so curious, how your eyes might look like with that pretty, and venomous mouth of yours, wrapped around my- but his derivative, and taboo thoughts, are interrupted the realization that she just talked mostly non-sense.

"Yet, you've told me nothing of your allegiance. Of history, I am knowledgeable, as well as master Gwynpath, I am sure." He stated in a relaxed tone, blinking slowly before he took another sip out of his coffee.

Then came her answer, followed by her ever more penetrative gaze, which Aleko could only fall into. Be the time she retired in her seat to take her own sip, he found himself craving more of her eyes. He won his composure back as he was asked him about his own journey. Although reluctant at first to say anything about himself, being sure that they knew exactly what he was before, he could only find it fair of him to share as well. He wouldn't want to nurture a one-way relationship with his servants, he could at least try to pretend that it's two-way.

"Let me assure you that my story is as boring as it can be." He started in a rather unenthusiastic manner. "Son of a noble woman cast away by her family and husband as my visage did not resemble my, presumably, anthro heritage. My childhood and youngster years were spent at home, reading, writing and learning the knightly art of combat. Come deployment age, I've impressed the recruiters that handed me over to the Rangers. Given my noble descent and the volume of lore I've learned, I was to become an officer. Said and done, years pass, I'm tasked to offer security in civil war-torn cities, skirmish the lands of separatist nobles, the usual grunt work elite rangers do. Why not send plain knights and men-at-arms? One of us is a dozen times more dangerous; that's because of our equipment and trained unwillingness to chatter. If we're there to keep you out of the plaza so important people can meet, you'd be utterly foolish and suicidal to dare touch us."

"Then, the War of Tulips arrived. Very far away from home, I am aware, but the king most likely has some very strong relations with the merchants and traders in Eagleblade, else, he wouldn't have sent us to sweep the castle clean and clear the river for ships to sail." Aleko had long stopped drinking his coffee, his eyes peering into the undulating reflection of his canine snout. "Some of the rumors you might have heard are untrue, we're not ghosts that walk through walls, or ghouls to slit throats during one's sleep. If it were that easy, there would be no war to fight, would it be?" He chuckled sourly. "But it wasn't easy. If anything, it's the third most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with in my short life. Second place is taken by me trying to talk to this pretty merchant's daughter into a dance ball once. That's something I'd rather not recollect, hmhm."

"First place is taken by this. I'm sorely unprepared for this ample task I've been given, to rule an empire. But, as a good, obedient soldier, I will complete the objective to the best of my ability. I don't mean to discourage you, but I want to be transparent about this issue. I'm not the foreseen savior of Avalon, foretold by some prophecy written and starts, or whatever mad rambling is out there. No. Look at me." He stood up, lifting his arms slightly.

"What you see, a young mutt with a ton of power under his heel, is what you get. Take it the way it is, or leave. I don't mind either. Help me, rewards will be found for us all to reap. Leave me, I will bid farewell and good luck on your endeavors. Betray me, I'll gut you like a damn fish with a blunt knife in front of your families, personally." He allowed that warning to settle in, before he clasped his hands behind his back.

The conversation soon ended.

By the time the twentieth day of his mandate arrived, the heir could hold up on his feet quite well, although he could still feel some weights pulling his shoulders down due to fatigue. He quickly learned that the teleportation site had been completed, and the wizards have arrived to sink the province. Quite content with the news, Aleko finally showed some sort of emotion after three days of apathy, through a lopsided smirk on his canine maw.

"Thoroughly so, master Weaverstar." He replied to his court wizard.

For his own fortitude and capabilities, Aleko started to condition his body through whatever workout he could complete in his own quarters, honing his muscles and senses to peak performance. Then, he asked for a training pell, a blunt longsword and blunt dagger, so he could put his body to work while he practiced tactics in his mind. Steel whirled as he swung the waster around his frame, throwing debilitating cuts at the training pole with measured force and great speed. He properly knocked the dust out of the material, as loud thuds filled his room, as the steel edge impacted the pell. Still not satisfied, he asked for someone to help him suit up in his steel harness, to add combat realism; after all, he wouldn't be going in a doublet on the battlefield. His endurance was put to stress, as he had to cope with significant loss of mobility and some more weight unto his body; still, his strikes were true and quick, transitioning from time to time to placing one hand on the blade of the sword and train as if he were facing an armored opponent. He nurtured his body's needs, but for the most part, he secluded himself in his quarters, to focus on his condition. He couldn't allow emotion to overcome him during the fight, he had to keep himself sharp. He was so determined to stay so, that he asked some guards for a few bouts with blunt weapons, shifting from one-to-one combat, to formation techniques. By the time the fateful day arrived, he felt unsatisfied with his progress, but pleasantly sore and ripe for a fight. He could feel rage churn, just ready to lash out and take the lives of those who dared to defy him personally.

He had his arming jacket and trousers on, as well as the steel leggings, sabatons, knee protectors. He reached the war room, carrying an arming cap in one hand, while in the other he had all of his weaponry tied together by leather belts and buckles. Servants quickly arrived after with the rest of his battle harness, and started to fit them unto the heir.

"How're conditions in Zeiserberg?" Aleko calmly asked, his icy gaze shining with murderous intent. "As soon as I'm in my armor and with my armament on, I'm good to go. Any developments during the night, any reports at all?"

Whatever answers might arrive, he was more than ready to take them, since he was prepared to walk under the undiscriminating eyes of death, on a field that would be his domain. Yet, he knew that he wouldn't fall during this task, for his heart wouldn't let him. It was about time he's done something as a gesture of gratitude to the one person that made him what he is today, a woman that sacrificed everything for the love of her child.

Mom. Stay put and smart, I'm coming in and I'll kill them all. I swear, I will make them suffer thousandfold if they've laid a finger upon you.
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