>tfw profile visits are no longer hidden so you cankt freely stalk people
21 May 2017 20:47
When Walmart has literally 0 tendies left so you go to the hardware and furniture sections for rope and a stool
21 May 2017 3:12
When the police raid your house for CP, guns and cocaine but it's okay because you used incognito mode
19 May 2017 11:34
Voltaire was the original meme master surpassed only by the shitposting powers of the Zaporozhian Cossacks.
19 May 2017 0:44
You're just too toxic to understand.
Look at me and marvel at... I'll think of it, give me a moment.
Anyway, adding shit
Languages: Russian (native speaker) English and French as a second language doing my best to learn other European languages Ethnicity in order of most to least: Baltic Prussian, German Prussian, Belarusian, Polish, Russian, Ukrainian, Greek, Bulgar, Finn.
Well it's a start. As you can probably see I've worked some of my HFY tropes in there to make the fleshy humans have a chance against the many beasties inhabiting the world.
NAME: The Divine Confederated State of Zvagheldt and Iorge: Zvageorg.
OVERVIEW: The State of Zvageorg is a massive confederation of smaller states and territories under a single Tyrant being responsible for a lot of the current balance of power by it's size and connection to water as well as very large border. The Confederation has a very large army that is constantly expanding, re-arming and training because the days it was at peace are very few.
RACE AND CULTURE: Humans are the only ones who populate the Empire without fear of ending up as a citizen's lunch, though via anointment in the Holy Rivers the men of Zvageorg have gained the strength to conquer many of their neighbors. The State has an ancient history; it all started in the geographic area known as Zvagheldt. There were plenty of villages of man, but what there was in common between them was that they were ruled by foreigners with different appearance and odd tongues, or even non-humans. One day however, this all seemed to change when a hero said to have been anointed at birth in the blessed rivers to give him his great stature, strength and wisdom. He slayed many of the outsiders but with each village he brought some of the rulers before the villagers, and told them that either they vow to lead lives of goodness to their fellow man, and to also anoint themselves and children in the blessed rivers or he would let the horrid enemies go who would inevitably think up a punishment for the peoples.
Eventually the hero let his name "Iorge" be known and after single-handedly slaying almost all which presented threat to local human hegemony he came to rule as Tyrant (for that was the only name known to use for governors to the people) of the people, creating a golden age full of advancement and prosperity, and making a large family as example to his people. Eventually, the relatives of the foreigners he slaughtered plotted against him, and convinced the peoples under his rule that he was truly oppressive, and that he himself was going to steal some hidden treasure of the land and run off with it. Thanks to their vile sorcery, it worked. Eventually the people banded against him and under the guise of a feast tied him to a stake which they lit on fire to the glee of the conspirators about. Miraculously, the gag that the tricksters recommended be put on him burned before Iorge himself did, and he uttered a final defiance telling the people to hate the alien, the sorceror, and the traitor or enemy within. Angrily turning around, the people launched the first ever Crusade and rapidly expanded the territories of their lands wholly exterminating many a race in their path. After nearly a decade, they were war weary and in their hero's name established a state and religion, Zvageorg for the former and the grand cult of the Crusader for the latter. Old Gods were put on "the choir of the Saints" and more or less forgotten, and ever since then people have anointed children or conquered humans in the rivers of the state whilst launching great Crusades to expand it's land quite often.
Recently, after having a massive growth the Empire has slowed down it's expansion with Crusades and now wages the "long war." Slowly it expands by building a few villages here and there, by building roads into borders that didn't have them before; it spreads like a disease to surrounding areas into which the culture, religion and ideas go and eventually, they snap to soundlessly annex territories. This has already happened to an island territory just off of the mainland's coast called "Varjengrad," several foreign villages, and a whole city state was swallowed up in the last decade.
The culture is very reminiscent of 14-1700 European culture with a language comparable to Viennese German (the cockney British of the time/area).
GOVERNMENT: The State is an ultra-authoritarian autocratic theocracy with a single, more or less monarchic leader. While governing is obviously delegated to various smaller rulers across the state the ruler, known as "the Tyrant" (ironically this has no negative connotation in the Reichspiel) always has the last word. He is generally picked by a secret meeting of Priests across the nations, and will usually be some sort of hero, though they are careful to make sure he isn't all brawn. That said, he is also largely a puppet for the secretive Religious order. Zvaghalf does have a nobility but nobles can rarely if ever wriggle out of military service, and have limited equity to the lower classes (meaning, that the government makes sure they too get a decent dose of oppression). Entering lower nobility is also very easy, one simply has to enlist for a military position with a very high mortality rate like a cuirassier or sapper and survive after six years of service.
INDUSTRY: The Empire is arguably the most advanced nation of the world, and if not then almost surely the most advanced of the human ones. This, combined with a very large expanding area and a moderate but swiftly growing population (that has a “live to serve” mindset) means that even with 90% of the usual workforce at war the Empire still has a production capability to be reckoned with. Additionally, the Empire is rich in both minerals and fertility of soil, and while the society adamantly clings to traditional gender roles it is not scared of putting women into the workforce when men are working; in fact it more or less forces them to do so.
MAGIC: Magic is forbidden on penalty of death in Zvageorg but there is heavy use of Clerical powers of all sorts, not to mention anointment the strengths given to the peoples by being anointed in the holy rivers of the land.
MILITARY: Unlike most human nations, the state does not make use of arquebuses and gunpowder and pike and shot to quickly arm a deadly force, and instead delegates this matter to mechanical crossbows. The reasoning behind this is that crossbows are quick to train with and the Empire has many veterans willing to teach. As such, remaining stores of gunpowder allow it to amass a large armada, huge reserves of artillery and all sorts of interesting new weapons with the black stuff. Their military can largely be described as being extremely practical and efficient, having had it's art perfected by necessity over a very long time.
Hunters and other likely lads rounded up and given a paper saying they’ve willfully enlisted, they’re more or less the only common infantry units to use rifles in the Imperial Army (and they’re usually their own). However these men make excellent irregular infantry that carry out nighttime raids with explosions of light and hail followed by Imperials disappearing into the night. Their nimbleness also allows them to quickly get around open battles and make up for the short range of their armament with speed, whilst bear-traps from home and other useful implements let them quickly create unfavorable grounds for the enemy. While still very much conscripts these men are drilled in kneel-fire, firing by rank, reloading whilst moving, and are perhaps the only riflemen in the world to have bayonets; while originally these were supplied by the hunters themselves, seeing their utility Zvageorg has made them standard issue.
These men have a blunderbuss, two pistols, some sort of grenade or clay bomb, a heavy cuirass and helmet, a great big horse and nothing to lose but what little sanity they have left. These are the recruits who are considered just a little too enthusiastic, and who are subsequently given a place to vent this. They are expected to ride right up to the enemy putting less than two metres between themselves and the target before blasting their firearms at them and riding off, or right into the devastated foes.
Conscripts: Halberdiers, Pikemen, Crossbowmen
These men have their assigned primary weapon, full plate, a falchion and zeal. This is given in the hopes that being extremely well equipped and very faithful shall compensate for these men's nonexistent experience with battle. Pikemen are generally placed at the front of Imperial forces whereas pikemen at the flanks. Crossbowmen are placed behind these melee forces, shooting over their kneeling comrades until the melee begins and they then make mad dashes to find good spots to fire upon the enemy that is not blocked by an ally. The crossbows of Zvageorg are almost exclusively mechanical ones, with a massive pull that makes them take nearly a minute to reload. However this gives them very long range and deadly force even upon monstrous foes. If their equipment fails them, then the colossal amount of these men will surely compensate.
Cannons and Mortars
This is the standard artillery of the Tyranny, of which it has a massive collection of thanks to not making heavy use of rifles in their rank and file troops. Usually they fire a single solid shot but some experiments are being made with canister shot, quicklime, anti-magical or blessed shots, and if worst comes to worst one can load miscellaneous items for grapeshot.
These are trained animals of all sorts that are barely controlled by their masters and are typically released to chase down and massacre routing armies but occasionally are sent into open combat, particularly against weak, not very numerous or ill-disciplined troops. These are either typically nasty mongrel dogs and wolves, bears or large cats like lions and tigers (though these are far few and more expensive). It is not rare for them to be some sort of horrid mutants or deviants with two paws per leg, an extra head or tail, razors implanted in the mouth. Occasionally, they will also be given some light armour like chainmail or boiled leather to close the distance better.
Sword Brothers (unmounted)
These men are those who wish to one day become full-fledged crusaders, they make up a considerable portion of the Tyranny’s assault troops being unbreakable in faith. They are given heavy plate, chainmail and leather for formidable protection against nearly any sort of attack. They are armed with a shield, and any other hand-weapon including but not limited to a mace, short-sword, side-sword, arming sword, mace, axe, or spear. Usually their armament will be uniform but some have a mixture of all of these weapons for versatility in an engagement.
Sword Brothers (mounted)
Much like their unmounted comrades, these men have the same equipment with the addition of a barded warhorse, and either a long spear for anti-cavalry actions or a big lance for anti-infantry maneuvers. They aren’t particularly fast but they have the courage to charge even pike formations and the skill as well as strength to come out of it alive or even victorious.
Repeater pellet throwers
These are pieces of artillery invented in the Tyranny of Zvageorg usually applied to grind through enemy elite or monstrous troops and to greatly soften the charge of opponents into the infantry on either side of it. These guns have eight rotating cylinders that are entirely disposable and replaced with every shot producing a rate of fire of nearly a shot per second. Each cylinder is filled with a lot of powder and large grapeshot about twice the size of a rifle ball per pellet. These weapons are placed at the very front of the Zvageorg Army’s ranks usually between every 60-150 pikemen or halberdiers who are there as much to defend it as be defended by it. The weapon is very rarely used in offensive battles due to the short range of it and difficulty to transport it but if an expert general can get it close it can usually make short work of any entrenchment, barricades or even light fortifications like houses and upturned carts.
Men perhaps even braver than any Crusader, they have a variety of near-suicidal jobs. Most typically they are used to bring down enemy fortifications by making a mad dash for them, and applying all sorts of explosives or simply taking bits away with a pick. They are also responsible for all sorts of clever siege methods like drilling horses to charge gates with wagons of explosives (that naturally have a protected roof to prevent pre-mature explosions) and then leave the carts as they roll for the gates. Of course, they do have purpose in open battle too where they construct impromptu defenses like entrenchment or barricades, or set traps ranging from bear-traps to experimental mines. Worst comes to worst, they can act as grenadiers and riflemen. Taking a note from hunters, the rifles of these men are also equipped with the new-fangled bayonets.
Heretics, criminals, prisoners of war, non-humans and other undesirables these troops have been brainwashed by Clerics of Iorge to have a hate for themselves surpassed only by a hate for the enemy. They wish to go to paradise with their God and to redeem themselves by fighting. While sent out at first unarmed they are allowed to scavenge from dead enemies and allies alike, and are willing to go so far as to use limbs of dead comrades as weapons. While their primary purpose is to provide a frightening and disposable shock troop, they are not to be underestimated as many have experience with murder in the most clandestine manner and some even have magical powers that they will unleash in uncontrolled and typically self-harming bursts, whilst some go as far as strapping explosives to themselves. In theory, if one of these Legionaries fights long and hard enough they can earn an amnesty but there are less than a dozen such men and women alive in Zvageorg today, half of them over fifty.
Men who aren’t initiated to be full Clerics, they go to battle chanting prayers and hymns, most with some sort of hand-weapon (axe, mace, long or arming sword, flail, hammer, spear, etc.) in one hand and a staff representing the stake Iorge was burned on or scripture in the other. They have no armour but their robes however they do not need it; the holiness of these men makes mortal wounds scratches and it gives them incomprehensible strength and zeal to compensate for inexperience.
These are carts carrying riflemen, crossbowmen, blunderbussers or some piece of artillery, they are drawn by horses with heavy barding and some slight roofing and protection on either sides. Carts are used similarly to Cuirassiers to provide heavy volleys and then retreat though with heavier firepower. Occasionally they also stop and use their carts as temporary fortifications for in battle if it is defensive in nature.
Carrying the heaviest armour of the state’s troops, Crusaders have four layers of protection given all sorts of Godly blessing in plate, then scale-mail, then chain mail and finally leather; however they run quickly and unimpeded as though they were naked thanks to their Divinations. They are armed with longswords and massive shields carrying similar blessings to that of their armour. They are as close to monstrous infantry as Zvageorg can get, perhaps even qualifying or surpassing the necessities for the role. The presence of these unbreakable men inspires all allies around them.
These are identical to their unmounted brethren except for the fact that are mounted. Their mounts are massive beasts that could be horses if not for its size and muscularity, and the fact that they carry their heavy barding as though it is nothing. These men also have lances that have similar blessings to the rest of their gear. They are as close to monstrous cavalry as Zvageorg can get, perhaps even qualifying and surpassing the necessities for the role.
The result of cooperation between Engineers and Religious personnel, Steel Saints are massive metal machines in the shape of a Knight working on steam but given fluidity and life to their movements thanks to blessings, prayers and enchantments of various Clerics. These are difficult to make and are costly so there are naturally few of them but their sight upon a battlefield makes all men of Zvageorg rejoice for a giant iron man is sure to turn the tide of battle. These constructs have a massive sword that cuts through mountains, a device throwing flaming tar from where it’s “mouth” is and a batter of rifles on either shoulder to deal with attacks from above. There are in fact only nine of them at a time, each representing one of the Saints or great figures after the death of Iorge.
These are manifestations of the Old Gods, now part of the choir of Saints in a physical form. They have a mixture of pre-historic and modern appearance, though they all are generally appearing as Angels and with their respective symbols be it a staff, sword, bow etc. There are twelve different Incarnations that may appear when summoned, each representing one of the Old Gods worshipped in the land of Zvagheldt. It is difficult to summon them but gets considerably easier when Zvageorg is at threat; at such times they may even appear at their own volition.
Cannons or mortars but simply much, much bigger. A single blast from these devastates whole regiments, brings down walls, or turns giants into red paste.
High Priest Inquisitor
High Priest Proselytizer
Cleric - Firebrand
Cleric - Preacher
Lord Dieter von Weissburg
The current Tyrant of Zvageorg, Lord Dieter is a noble that was chosen to be the next Tyrant for his well-rounded skill-set. Quite tall and imposing he is a great statesman, diplomat, religious model and while he has few have seen him in open combat the only person he has lost a duel against is the previous Master of Crusaders. He has five children, though his wife was assassinated not long ago. He is armed with a powerful magic sword rumoured to be what the Old God Valkhyr carried in his mortal form, whilst for armour he has a suit of plate which when asked about the origins of he merely smiles and refers to it as the crystallized tears of Iorge.
Aleksander von Weissburg
First son of the current Tyrant, he is ironically the least mature and brash. He became a Sword-Brother at 20 and is now a Lord-Crusader in rank though it is obvious he will soon become a Crusader Patriarch in the near future. He is an expert fighter and good leader if not as great a general as his father. He makes sure to never take advantage of his position and has learned fighting himself, as well as taking the same gear as others of his position. His only unique item is his shield - while looking to be a normal shield albeit with no wood it is soon revealed to be much more when a cannon ball had glanced off of it and Aleksander remained unharmed.
Johan von Weissburg
Second son of the Tyrant he is a quiet, pessimistic and cryptic man that has much more tact and cleverness than his brother. He is responsible for a lot of the more devious plots of the Confederation and for turning down many ideas due to their unreliability and trustworthiness. While he is best used as a leader he meets the expectations needed to be a good warrior though he fights much like how he thinks; he goes in with ambushes, or even disguises himself as a common soldier to suddenly slay a great opponent with some relic weapon who was hoping to just crush an ordinary conscript.
Olga von Weissburg
Daughter of the tyrant, she became a nun at an early age but yet wanted to be near him in his endeavors. As such, she progressed quickly to become the head of her convent and eventually a prominent figure in the nation. It wasn't long before she was travelling around and outside Zvageorg doing clerical and humanitarian deeds. Perhaps most astonishing was that she has joined every Crusade so far raised and has even went directly into battle to save injured soldiers or even banish otherworldly creatures.
Vark walked in a fine suit down the street, looking like an upstanding businessman. He had left his home despite wanting to chop up people who did not quite agree with various ideas of his, but there were bigger threats to his ideology than some purple haired overweight women and nasty foreign lads. As he neared the tavern he screwed on a silencer to his gun, removed the clips from his beard to let it fall down to it's full size and ripped off the suit (which somehow completely came off and concealed a massive cloak fit for any wizard and a large hat - and a staff and much more) and with a satisfactory thump tapped his staff on the ground beneath. Finally he kicked at the door and shot a few bullets into various items of glassware and started to shout "THIS IS A STICKU-" before abruptly stopping and having a middle-aged blue eye lazily look up with thought. The Grand Wizard stood there slowly realizing that he wasn't looking for cash but for meatshields who would help him give the overlord fellow a right talking to. Eventually he backed out of the building, and then repeated the dramatic entry only stopping momentarily to reload his gun.
"Alright, now that I have your attention I am looking for heroes! A great prophecy has struck me, I visited an anonymous outdated forum on which a post had repeating digits; IT SAID THE OVERLORD IS IN FACT BAD AND WE NEED TO FUCK HIS SHIT UP!" He could have put it more eloquently but he still had to make that bootube video about why what everyone was doing was wrong and he had to make that death metal piece that was already paid for. The man shot his gun a few more times into the ceiling to emphasize the gravitas of the situation and then waved his staff about to show that he was asking all present. "I say, who is with me! Who is going on an epic adventure!" At last it dawned on him that not everyone was a bloody idiot to go to a likely death just like that and then he quickly added "We'll split his shit fair and square when he's done with and we can probably sell his organs for a little too, so come on!" as he jumped on a table.
@Infamous Empath It's a place for more than one person to work on something, kind like gdocs but better for RP purposes and collab posts. I thought we good lads would make one for how we met and shit but it looks like we're just going to get together. I'll make my guy come over soon after getting a prophecy and shit. At least the lists have balanced out.
@Infamous Empath Basically, Vark's country would be a peninsular northern nation reminiscent of scandinavia that has had vikings and for a long time have been the bad guys in every other war until recently where they are super tolerant letting in the worst possible people into their country. Anyway, since it's a no on the piratepad I'll post soon.
@ClocktowerEchos Since Poo is potentially taking Dwarfs I'd rather be on the safe side and go with my humans. However, since nobody is going for the whole Sigmarite Empire/>Holy>Roman>Empire thing can I have my Teutonic lads sort of take the place as the normal/average humans? Not trying to be at the centre of attention or have the most powerful spot, more trying to be there as the "base faction" like the Empire is.
Look at me and marvel at... I'll think of it, give me a moment.
Anyway, adding shit
Russian (native speaker)
English and French as a second language
doing my best to learn other European languages
Ethnicity in order of most to least: Baltic Prussian, German Prussian, Belarusian, Polish, Russian, Ukrainian, Greek, Bulgar, Finn.
<div style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Look at me and marvel at... I'll think of it, give me a moment.<br><div class="hider-panel"><div class="hider-heading"><button type="button" class="btn btn-default btn-xs hider-button" data-name="be nice">be nice [+]</button></div><div class="hider-body" style="display: none"><img src="http://i.imgur.com/nlSMJHm.jpg" /></div></div><br>Anyway, adding shit<br><br>Languages:<br>Russian (native speaker) <br>English and French as a second language<br>doing my best to learn other European languages<br>Ethnicity in order of most to least: Baltic Prussian, German Prussian, Belarusian, Polish, Russian, Ukrainian, Greek, Bulgar, Finn. </div>