It sure got hostile in here.
Menhir Member
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It was always impressive how Uncle Coobie could use his ventriloquist skills to talk even when he was completely covered, but Maricola had no time to appreciate them at the moment. Speed was of the essence!
"Nnnnnnot so fast, Doctor Mamacita!", Maricola chirped as it's left hand expanded in kind, scooping up the wannabe supervillain and gripping him tightly around his waist. Uncle Coobie might have liked this backpack, but jewels were no good. After all, jewels meant diamonds... and diamonds were a girl's best friend! But Uncle Coobie hated girls, especially little ones! By transitive property, that meant coming into contact with jewels of any kind would spell certain death for Maricola's papa's distantly-related colleague! This would not stand!
"But what could be the opposite of jewels..?", Maricola wondered aloud, drooling a little from the sheer effort of thinking and retaining bodily function as it dragged both fists, along with their unwilling occupants, away from the direction Dr. Marg- Dr. McKra- Backpack had been walking in an attempt to get as far away from the sparkly rocks as possible.
Diamond's were a girl's best friend. And the opposite of a girl was a boy. And an adult boy was a man! It was all so simple. The best way to save Uncle Coobie was to expose him to man's best friend: Dog.
"TO THE CITY POUND!", Maricola shouted moistly, raising both fists in the air as it sprinted headlong in the direction of the nearest animal shelter.
@Duoya @Stern Algorithm
"Nnnnnnot so fast, Doctor Mamacita!", Maricola chirped as it's left hand expanded in kind, scooping up the wannabe supervillain and gripping him tightly around his waist. Uncle Coobie might have liked this backpack, but jewels were no good. After all, jewels meant diamonds... and diamonds were a girl's best friend! But Uncle Coobie hated girls, especially little ones! By transitive property, that meant coming into contact with jewels of any kind would spell certain death for Maricola's papa's distantly-related colleague! This would not stand!
"But what could be the opposite of jewels..?", Maricola wondered aloud, drooling a little from the sheer effort of thinking and retaining bodily function as it dragged both fists, along with their unwilling occupants, away from the direction Dr. Marg- Dr. McKra- Backpack had been walking in an attempt to get as far away from the sparkly rocks as possible.
Diamond's were a girl's best friend. And the opposite of a girl was a boy. And an adult boy was a man! It was all so simple. The best way to save Uncle Coobie was to expose him to man's best friend: Dog.
"TO THE CITY POUND!", Maricola shouted moistly, raising both fists in the air as it sprinted headlong in the direction of the nearest animal shelter.
@Duoya @Stern Algorithm
You need a goal to talk to your friends?
@Stern Algorithm
Don't forget to add regeneration to your sheet too in case you lose track, friend.
Don't forget to add regeneration to your sheet too in case you lose track, friend.
Maricola's face remained as blank and impassive as always. If anyone nearby had been able to identify the subtle, tetrachromatic haze of color that emanated from somewhere beneath Maricola's skin, however, they'd have noticed it begin to darken in hue as Uncle Coobie spoke. This, it seemed, was a sign of concern.
Maricola's right arm tripled in size, the now ham-sized fist engulfing most of Uncle Coobie's body and raising him to eye level. Maricola cocked it's head and stared at it's fellow monster for a second before speaking.
"Golly, Uncle Coobie~. Has this place really hurt you that much..?"
Uncle Coobie was considered something of an eccentric in the non-euclidean space monster community. Not because he loved feeling up small children, as one would have thought, but because he had turned such a casual hobby into an obsession of a highest order. Sure, there wasn't a higher-dimensional being worth their salt who hadn't impregnated a high priestess or two, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a one that stuck around to raise it. On the whole, ultimate lifeforms had a bad tendency to pump and dump.
But Uncle Coobie wasn't content to just seed a world with his baleful progeny and get on with his life. No, he'd somehow gotten it into his head that he wanted to groom these Earth primitives in order to meet some arbitrary quota of despair and anguish, and was generally regarded by his peers as the cosmic equivalent of a shut-in otaku. Maricola had a rough understanding of the whole situation, but it hadn't become evident just how bad off the guy was until Maricola met him in person. Uncle Coobie was in serious need of a couple millennia's vacation.
A lightbulb went off in Maricola's head. Of course! All he needs is some time away from those little girls he was always on about, and he'd be right as acid rain! There was only one problem: How did you tell if someone was a girl? Uncle Coobie had said something about backpack when he looked at the seated one. Was backpack a sex organ?
Maricola walked over to Justin Case's bench, oversized hand and Uncle Coobie trailing slime as they dragged along the pavement, and touched him on the shoulder with a free appendage.
"Hey, are you a girl~?"
@Duoya @Stern Algorithm
Maricola's right arm tripled in size, the now ham-sized fist engulfing most of Uncle Coobie's body and raising him to eye level. Maricola cocked it's head and stared at it's fellow monster for a second before speaking.
"Golly, Uncle Coobie~. Has this place really hurt you that much..?"
Uncle Coobie was considered something of an eccentric in the non-euclidean space monster community. Not because he loved feeling up small children, as one would have thought, but because he had turned such a casual hobby into an obsession of a highest order. Sure, there wasn't a higher-dimensional being worth their salt who hadn't impregnated a high priestess or two, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a one that stuck around to raise it. On the whole, ultimate lifeforms had a bad tendency to pump and dump.
But Uncle Coobie wasn't content to just seed a world with his baleful progeny and get on with his life. No, he'd somehow gotten it into his head that he wanted to groom these Earth primitives in order to meet some arbitrary quota of despair and anguish, and was generally regarded by his peers as the cosmic equivalent of a shut-in otaku. Maricola had a rough understanding of the whole situation, but it hadn't become evident just how bad off the guy was until Maricola met him in person. Uncle Coobie was in serious need of a couple millennia's vacation.
A lightbulb went off in Maricola's head. Of course! All he needs is some time away from those little girls he was always on about, and he'd be right as acid rain! There was only one problem: How did you tell if someone was a girl? Uncle Coobie had said something about backpack when he looked at the seated one. Was backpack a sex organ?
Maricola walked over to Justin Case's bench, oversized hand and Uncle Coobie trailing slime as they dragged along the pavement, and touched him on the shoulder with a free appendage.
"Hey, are you a girl~?"
@Duoya @Stern Algorithm
"Heeey, no fair! You can't just leave!", Maricola shouted as the loudspeaker demon beat a hasty retreat back to evil community college. Maricola folded it's armlike appendages and pouted. Steam rose from the creature's epidermis, its three-dimensional flesh regenerating as fast as the loudspeaker demon's corrosive saliva could wear it away. Maricola licked it's hand-fingers.
"It tastes like burning...", the thing mumbled, disappointed. Pulling itself back together, Maricola looked for someone else to play with. None of the other kids looked really interesting, what with their humanlike physiology and hiding all their organs and lack of bioluminescence. But wait!
Was that...
Could it be?
It was!
Maricola's ancestral memory would recognize that ugly little mammalian mug anywhere. It was Uncle Coobie!
Maricola sprinted over and gave the creature currently calling itself Annatar a great big (and slimy, thanks to the loudspeaker demon) slap on the back. Granted, given Annatar and Maricola's current physical states it was less of a slap on the back and more of a volleyball spike directly into the pavement, but it was a friendly volleyball spike directly into the pavement all the same.
"Howzit going, Uncle Coobie? Papa wants to know if you're still working middle management for the kiddy fiddlers!"
@Stern Algorithm
"It tastes like burning...", the thing mumbled, disappointed. Pulling itself back together, Maricola looked for someone else to play with. None of the other kids looked really interesting, what with their humanlike physiology and hiding all their organs and lack of bioluminescence. But wait!
Was that...
Could it be?
It was!
Maricola's ancestral memory would recognize that ugly little mammalian mug anywhere. It was Uncle Coobie!
Maricola sprinted over and gave the creature currently calling itself Annatar a great big (and slimy, thanks to the loudspeaker demon) slap on the back. Granted, given Annatar and Maricola's current physical states it was less of a slap on the back and more of a volleyball spike directly into the pavement, but it was a friendly volleyball spike directly into the pavement all the same.
"Howzit going, Uncle Coobie? Papa wants to know if you're still working middle management for the kiddy fiddlers!"
@Stern Algorithm
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