Monkeypants — Roleplayer Guild

So as I'm writing, I have some background music playing and this comes on.. I mean wtf awesome.
youtube.com/watch?v=0k_26XhSjzw

Union news network

The Galaxy's most watched station, bringing fair and balanced reporting.

And here today is your hosts, five time 'Film Actors Guild winner and the star of "Blonde teen mom",

And the AI veteran of the Kiten IV conflict and best selling childrens author of such books as, "Harry potter and the Castle Bravo project" and "The Maze Runner... with flame-throwers",  

----------------

Gwen; Good evening and thanks for tuning in. We have breaking news from the inner rim where war has broken out.

Maximus; War for glory.

Gwen; here live is Danna Lorbit.

+  A blue skinned portly female like creature appears on the screen. behind her is a war torn landscape. Contrails overhead from likely aircraft and old pillars of smoke from battles fought mere hours ago fill a picture that years ago would be beautiful fields flanked by a crisp blue sky.+

Lorbit; Thanks for having me!

Maximus; Lorbit, how goes the battle? Glory to the fallen heroes and basking in the burning sky?

Lorbit; Well Max, the conflict between the Ozgerssary and the Ascendancy has been raging for over a month now with no real end in sight.

There has been word of an offensive in the works and what appears to be a build up of Ascendancy forces only spells disaster for the Ozgerssary.

Maximus; It is a shame to see such foe be routed by crazed evangelists like the Ascendancy! 

Gwen; Well, hopefully this new offensive can bring about peace in the region? As it sadly appears diplomacy at this point is failing.

Lorbit; from Aishka, Lorbit of UNN, back to you Gwen.

Gwen; Thanks Lorbit. We also have word that the Obirth foundation preparing a "peace keeping" force to safeguard potential "assets" in the region. We will keep this story up to date as more information becomes available.

Maximus; in other news, the "Wo now what's going on" prophet has spoken regarding the secretive Wo nation. He speculates that the new ambassador from their nation is merely a government plant to give the Humans more backing in the galactic ccouncil.

Gwen; meanwhile, the search for the newest in a long line of missing persons in "Wo space" has begun. We have a sound byte from the announcement.

Male voice representing the government; We can neither confirm or deny that the Wo have any part in this turn of events. Our search parties are merely scouring the outlaying systems that are the most likely escape pod crash sites.

Maximus; Pretext for invasion? Let us hope so.

Gwen; And now, Robosexual marriage, should it be legal? Here reporting from the Capitol office is Bylon Goffis

Bylon; Hello Gwen and Maximus, today marks yet another round of protests from Robosexuals regarding what they believe is their right to elope-

====++++====

The "Wo" wreck

It was getting late, relative to Union time at least. 

"Damnit this is getting annoying..."

Throughout the halls of the tiny search vessel sat Nate once more, thumbing through file after file on the black box. The last chance to find out what happened to Nate's girl friend. His meticulous snooping had finally gotten the computers last known coordinates from before its crash. "What do we have here?" He said, genuinely inquisitive. From the bottom of the box a small port opened for a hard wired connection. Nate was smart this time, using wired technology to do his work. An old view screen showed various schematics of the wrecks systems. 
At the time of the recording, all he could see was green across the board and all entries were normal. A sick persons report here but a common illness and a room that was reading a temperature variance of -.07 below average ship temperature. "This makes no sense.." he said under his breath before beginning to fast forward it. 

As he forwarded through the video, a distant alarm in his room went off drawing his attention.. it was a strange time "5:57" shipboard time, and when he heard a click from the viewer... it had auto stopped at 5:50.

He turned to the screen with a piqued brow, "Now that is spooky.."

He stood up and slowly walked out of the room, staring down the dimly lit hallway. He could hear two of his comrades in their rooms, likely drinking and watching re-runs of blonde teen mom and from further up, the sound of bored pilots thumbing through their PDA's hoping to find an interesting article. Nate slowly retreated to his room and sat down on the ground. He couldn't stop thinking about her now, 5:57 he thought, in seven minutes what ever happened to her. It was time to figure this out.

-----------------------------------------------------------
..... loading .....

Captains entry,

Entry 22.4.12

-We have just passed through the Epyon belt, into Wo space. It's been a few hours since our FTL drive puttered out but our engineering crew is hard at work to figure this whole thing out.

Entry 22.7.12

-Drive systems are up and running but the strange sensor pings have grew more frequent. Karo (Our nutty Cryptologist) stresses that it's warning pings from some sort of distant sensor array. Last night he came into the bridge raving that it was a form of Morse code repeating, "Go back." over and over. Engineer Tabhita says its we are picking up signals from centuries ago, minging scanner signals from the days of radio ranging.

Entry 22.9.12

-So the signals stopped around ten hours ago when we first saw the object fly past. It was a small silver disk, probably two meters across at most. We are having a shipboard meeting to determine if we should continue on but the promise of payment for any scans of a certain system in whats supposedly "Wo" space is difficult to pass up.

I mean, six hundred million Creds? my childrens children can retire..

Entry 22.10.12

-I cannot explain the events that occurred two hours ago. Karo locked himself in one of the escape pods along with two others. He was raving that we had moved too far and was trying to get off the ship. We locked the pod from the bridge but i'm sure he will find the override switch soon enough. Or he is waiting to see if we will turn around. Strange lights blew into the bridge before we could activate the shutters.. Both of my pilots went into photosensitive seizures. neither have history of seizures. What the hell is going-

Nate saw that the recording had been cut off. He saw that ahead was one last audio entry, a strange file that seemed to be recorded in their mess hall. This was set minutes before the last transmission was sent from the ship. Numerous voices could be heard,

"Attention crew, first shift meal is ready! hope you're ready for an earth inspired favorite, Numeian Cras deep fried "southern style".. We- (Explosion heard) 

"All hands! abandon ship!" a male voice shouted

"The escape pods have all been launched?!" a girl said, choking up.

The sound of pure panic ensues. It was only shouts and crying that filled Nate's ears. All he could picture though was the heavy breathing of his love, breathing from running through the ship to find no escape pods. As tears started forming at the corners of Nate's eyes, the recording started to quiet down as a robotic voice began taking over.

"Warning, artificial gravity is disengaged, all crew is advised to use magnetic footwear.

"Warning, atmospheric systems is disengaging, all crew is advised to use artificial atmospheric devices

"Warning, core temperatures rising, all crew is advised to reach designated emergency positions

"Warning, engine overload sequence initiated, all crew is advised to abandon ship

From under the robotic voice was the sound of gasping and chocking as the floating occupants had no way to reach emergency equipment.. their life was over but from the darkness there was a light.. a single voice was still heard over the active intercom,

"Come on you bastard!" an exhausted voice shouted. It was from their engineering bay as a single living male was pulling manual levers and kicking the engine core as hard as he could. With a shattering glass sound, and a last minute, "Who ever uploaded this virus. Go fuck.. your .." a final gasp was heard, marking the end of his life.

"Alert, engine overload sequence aborted. Emergency course plotted for Faniu station. FTL jump in four minutes"

At that point, the end of the recording clicked and Nate stood up. "A virus?!" he exclaimed as he darted from the room. Nate looked to his watch to see the time "5:57" Nate could feel a chill down his spine as the temperature began drastically dropping. The pilot came over the intercom, "Guys, we are experiencing some strange readings in the engine room, can someone-" He was cut off by the ships alert sirens going off. 

"Warning, atmospheric systems is disengaging, all crew is advised to use artificial atmospheric devices

Ahead, clanking sounds of various systems disengaging could be heard but Nate was quick and just as he could feel gravity failing, his hand grasped a large cable that ran along the wall. From behind him, one of his comrades forced an gas mask on his face and then pushed Nate across the hallway to an emergency locker with magnetic footwear. They were one size fits all stretch slippers and with a gentle tug, he was now floating towards the floor plates. He passed a pair to his comrade and then turned towards the computer bay. 

The room was small and easily accessible which gave nate the advantage. His fingers crossed the keys with robotic precision, entering command after command. "Disengage core overrides" denied, "Disengage solar sail auto correct." denied, "Well shit.." Nate said as he turned to the door, to see the red flashing lights and sounds of commotion as his comrades prepared for the worst. "A virus." he whispered.

He reached for a large cable and with much force he ripped it from the wall. It was red to white in an instant as the gravity snapped back on and the sound of air filtering into the ship was heard. Cheering was heard throughout the small ship but Nate was content breathing deeply with his eyes closed. 

For the rest of the evening, he sat with the gas mask in his hand.

---------------------------------------------
Union Government Center for foreign affairs

@Natsucooldude

Greetings to whomever is in charge of the investigation of the crash site colloqually referred to by the public as the wo wreck.

I write this letter to you to offer my assistance in the investigation of this wreck. As my mentor can attest, I have spent my entire adult life up until now looking into disappearances of this exact nature. My expertise would doubtlessly be a valuable asset in your investigation, and any breakthroughs reached as a result of this matter might just be the leverage needed for the technocracy's higher echelons to finally see the wo for the threat they really are.

Yours truly. Sattelite overseer Coral-3

It was a short reply from government officials,

"We appreciate the offer of assistance but there is no legitimate investigation regarding the wreck of the Hun-4 explorer wreck. We implore you to not continue the trend of attributing wrecks along that border to the "Wo" as it is only spreading fear and a dangerous sense of intrigue throughout the nation. One must use rationality to look at this situation. Ships that go missing along our nations borders are not referred to as conspiracy wrecks. They are legitimately investigated through impartial means that are not directed at any one group as this could be a simple navigation error. 

We cannot stress enough to cease with what amounts to fear mongering, This will likely cause more to try and take it upon themselves to investigate and find themselves empty handed or worse.

-Office of Union affairs-

--------------------------

Minutes later, Coral would be able to detect a second message piggybacked on the official signal.

"My name is Horus. That is all you need to know but I do represent a special interest group that seeks to unravel the "Wo" mystery. It is unlikely that the Union will detect this attached signal so fear not for reprisal.

Only hours ago a government search and rescue ship reported strange readings akin to a virus trying to shut their systems down and plotting a course into a nearby star. Our group can only speculate that it is an offensive program devised by an evil creature that wishes itself hidden as it prepares to destroy all we hold dear.

The Rescue ship has not received word back from the Union as we are actively blocking transmissions aside from general location signaling. The coordinates for the ship are as follows. Going by time duration, it will likely be at the marked location if you were leaving the Union capital at seven times FTL speed right now. Please intercept the ship and work with them to figure this whole thing out."

-Horus
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