Captain Uni
Finetales
Plank Sinatra
"Earth: a once thriving world filled with video-game geniuses claiming that graphics for dogs' fur contained the next generation. Its advancements were fluffy, and though there were some fuzzy people wanting to milk out cash through thermoheated binoculars and stacks of Campbell Biology books, all was good. At least, it was good to a certain extent.
But suddenly, a wide, rainbow-colored portal opened and revealed things that one would only be able to see when they were high having nightmares. Out came the last thing people thought they would be seeing:
Heroes.
Out came Mario, out came Max Payne, and out came even Master Chief. Dozens- no, hundreds of heroes flew out of the portals. Everyone immediately thought that they came here for heroic reasons and to stop a four-dimensional creature with six-thousand spider legs. Everyone really did think that... Okay, only I thought of that.
And they attacked Earth. We don't know why, but these praised heroes attacked their makers... mercilessly cutting them down as if they were playing rock-paper-mario-scissors. Who would have thought that they would attack Earth?"
Sitting at his office inside a building with an unconfirmed location, a man shouted as he slammed the table,
"I DID!"
He then proceeded to tear at what was left of his gray hair, violently thrashing about on his chair as he yelled, "I'm the one who said that there were freakin' pulses of supernatural activities coming from the skies! I'm the one who said that we should get ready! And I'm the only guy ready now!!!"
The Gray Chair Man looked like he was about to scream again, only to suddenly calm down and drink his coffee.
"And now that I'm the only guy ready," he said, putting side his cup of coffee, "I can actually do something. Sucks to be you, Microsoft."
The Gray Chair Man kicked himself away from his table, letting his chair move on its own as he left his office. On his way to wherever he was going, he told one of his co-workers,
"Hey! We're gettin' the recruits today, amirite?"
"Nope."
"You mess with me, and your ass is grass, Jim."
"I'm Tim."
"F&%$ you too, TIm. Hey, Jimmy!" The Chair Man shouted to another co-worker.
"I'm Bimmy."
"The hell is a Bimmy?"
"Your mom."
The heroes shall now proceed to enter a wide, gray room that has an apple sitting in the middle of the dull place. They come in through a singular, wide portal. Standing in front of the portals in a fair distance stands Noob, the Saibot, who is next to the Gray Chair Man's assistant, Diablo. While he certainly looks like the Diablo, the demon king we all know of from Blizzard's video game, he is actually just the most powerful cosplayer who was able to use demon powers.
In other words, it was basically the Diablo we all know of.
Standing- or, more accurately- sitting next to Diablo was the Gray Chair Man himself. He had chocolate chip cookies in case something went wrong.