Oraculum

Kill the Heroes! (Sorry, we're full for now)

@6slyboy6
Not quite. The closest we had to it was this, and even then our wise dungeon master's only objection was that the character was unbalanced. But fear not, I shall not inflict such horrors upon you unless forced to it by the untimely demise of our friend the spider, which I hope shall occur no time soon.

(Though now I cannot but find that concept fascinating. I might just introduce him as an auxiliary background character whom Khri'zhatt can occasionally visit, exposing the entire party to his madness.)

Kill the Heroes! (Sorry, we're full for now)

And thus, our first tavern brawl ends with only one casualty. One scarcely knows whether to be relieved or disappoinded. Probably the latter.

@6slyboy6
That is perhaps for the best. Otherwise, I would have conjured something even worse to unleash upon the party. Such as an overweight Illithid who summons giant blue ticks from another dimension.

Kill the Heroes! (Sorry, we're full for now)

Just as victory seemed near, with the orc cornered by Thrik, a handful of would-be bounty hunters and the newly arrived goblin, the building staggered once again, abd a very, very large beast inserted its head through one of its wall and pulled him out of it, after which, in a strange display, it propped up the collapsing ceiling while its master carried out the headless corpse, as well as the now-separate head, which still had somehow not ceased to drool. Now, critically damaged by the brawl and the ensuing interventions, the inn was instants away from crumbling down in the most literal of senses.

There was not a moment to be lost. "Thrik, out!" Khri'zhatt commanded. The umber hulk, which had been standing by, more mystified than usual by the disappearance of its prey, seized him more rapidly than it might have been thought possible for it and, swinging him over its head, hurled him outside through where the door had once been, past an ogre - if this was the supposed paladin ogre, Khri'zhatt thought, it certainly did not appear as such, being every inch the malodorous brute with a vacuous expression one would expect an ogre to be. Thrik then continued the arcing motion his forearms had begun until they reached the ground, whereupon, using them as levers, he propelled himself with tremendous strength in his master's wake as the inn crashed down behind him.

Now safely out of danger's reach, Khri'zhatt constated that the pile of rubble which had once been the tavern probably concealed him from the other's eyes, which was just as well. He licked his wound, trusting in his poisonous saliva to coagulate over it soon enough, and tried moving his wounded leg. It was not crippled, but it would surely be quite a pain for the next two weeks or thereabouts. Satisfied with his state, which could, judging by Stride's fate, have been far worse, he crawled to rejoin the rest of the party, followed by Thrik. The orc was seemingly no longer an immediate danger, though his beast surely was something any further plans should have to account for, while the goblin, apparently, could be easily bribed with the promise of shiny things to be as reliable as one of his kin could be safely taken for. "As our efforts to change the situation have seemingly not been successful" he addressed what were now supposed to be his "companions", "The previous issue still stands. Does anyone have any ideas on how we can make the elf, or whatever it is, speak without his head?"

Kill the Heroes! (Sorry, we're full for now)

@KRIEEEG @6slyboy6
I would say that is the most logical course, yes. I was following through upon @KRIEEEG's initial assumption, but, indeed, it appears it would have entailed a growth burst appearing out of nowhere, and is effectively better amended to him being large, yet not monstrously so. Otherwise, among other things, there would be no inn left for Woggha to demolish.

@Banana
May I suggest this musical gem as well, perhaps with some sort of illusionary rendition of the astounding video?

Kill the Heroes! (Sorry, we're full for now)

@6slyboy6
Let us say Thrik is indeed a Truly Horrid Umber Hulk, as I have a fondness for all things Truly Horrid. Such as invertebrates. Especially invertebrates, in fact, hence the dynamic duo. Besides, if Woggha were nonetheless ten metres taller, would he be able to join the fight without toppling the entire building onto everyone's heads?

Did you say so, indeed? It must have dodged either my attention or memory better than Khri'zhatt did with the chain. But if you're fine with it, let us continue with the scenario of Grox having to fend off drunken monsters.

Kill the Heroes! (Sorry, we're full for now)

Say, in the event of our character's demise, should we spawn a new one, wait or arrange for them to be somehow resurrected, spawn a new character to arrange for them to be resurrected or none of these?

Kill the Heroes! (Sorry, we're full for now)

Khri'zhatt leapt aside, and downward, to elude the projectile the orc flung at him, but was not quite swift enough. While he was able to prevent the hook from latching upon his body, it grazed against the side of his bulging abdomen, leaving in its wake a gash seeping with a foul black ichor. The latter's scarcely endurable stench offered a positive reply to the implicit question of whether the tavern's conditions could grow any worse by this point. "Gr-reh! You pile of rotted weed! Do you know how long it takes for fur to grow over scars?" he hissed as he hastily scampered behind an overturned table. Curses, he could not lift one of his central legs properly. This was quite enough. He raised his misshapen head upward and let loose a horrendous, nightmarish, headache-inducing screech which somehow reverberated from the wooden walls and burst out of the demolished door in a blast of sonic offence against anything capable of hearing sounds.

A commotion was heard from the direction of the stable. Horses neighed in fear, something cried out and was abruptly interrupted by a crunching sound, then a section of the wall collapsed as a massive insectoid form unconcernedly lumbered directly through it. The towering monstrosity snapped its frighteningly large mandibles, briefly waved its feelers toward the headless corpse and gazed at its master as interrogatively as it could manage. "Get that one, Thrik, and you can have the elf as well!" Khri'zhatt commanded, pointing at the aggressor; whereupon the beast slowly, yet menacingly began to advance upon the latter, its claws outstretched.

Khri'zhatt meanwhile turned toward the few patrons who had not yet fled the inn precipitously, probably being accustomed to such events. He produced from his pouch a calculatedly small handful of gems, whose glistening, however, concelaed their scarce numbers at a sufficient distance. "See these? They're for whomever brings me the orc in small pieces" he called out, adding "Smash green git and take shiny. Get it?" for the more intoxicated or naturally dim. He then began to wave about his claws sinisterly, preparing to unleash new calamities onto the head of this newfound foe of spiders.

Kill the Heroes! (Sorry, we're full for now)

'Tis high time for The Amazing Spider-Man (even though he does not remotely resemble a man) to save the day with some helpful(?) clarification.

Kill the Heroes! (Sorry, we're full for now)

All of a sudden, the orc had emerged from his ale-induced torpor, and, bellowing some sort of uncouth war-cry against spiderkind - But Neogi are not really - ah, whatever. No one ever listens, anyway. Khri'zhatt mentally checked himself - had assailed him with whatever came into his hands. Dodging the mug tossed at him with the deftness of the most tenacious of house-pests, Khri'zhatt leapt out of the orc's reach even as Stride heroically intercepted a blow which would have neatly cloven the arachnoid in half, and, having hopped for a few instants over furniture, walls and terrified bystanders, finally came to rest upon the ceiling. There he dangled upside-down at a safe distance from the orc, who seemed to have recovered what little sense he had, and twisted his neck at a hideous angle in order to maintain a view of the scene which did not induce unbearable headaches.

"Oh shit I just killed the smartest guy in our group!"

"That might have been true had all of this happened some minutes ago" Khri'zhatt retorted from above, "However, now that I am part of said group, your statement is quite far from the truth. Then again, had this fellow not sacrificed his neck's integrity for the greater good which is my survival, you would have been perfectly right..." He turned his attention upon the newly arrived goblin. "Ah, I see our numbers recover just as fast as we are able to thin them. Perfect. I can assure you..." Here he skittered to a spot directly above the goblin, disturbingly examined him at close quarters for some moments, then swiftly withdrew to a safe distance from the table. "...that I did not crawl, at least this time, from a hole any deeper than that cellar. Regarding the quest, I understood we are supposed to recover some sort of artifact, but he -" here he pointed at the decapitated corpse, "- was the one who knew the specifics. Unless you have, among that walking scrapyard you have with yourself, some machine which can make him speak, or we can find a necromancer, I seriously doubt we shall ever get any further than this."

The Harbingers (High Casual Fantasy Villain RP)

My apologies for the lack of responses. I underwent some unexpected connectivity troubles (a certain whiskered, untrustworthy innkeeper is to blame). Is there still time for me to join at this point?