Jake gave Candy a cold, hard glare as the short King drove away.
"I'm sorry, I don't buy any of this," Jake said. "That girl's been suffering too long from bullying, and she's been itching to finally get a chance to race. If the Children of the Candy Corn hadn't been making her life miserable, maybe she wouldn't have had the desire to prove herself.
"And look, her condition..." Jake said, knowing he was on poor ground here, given that he still wasn't sure what the hell the others meant with a game.
"Her condition may not be normal, but trust me; I've met people who had it worse, people who by all laws of nature shouldn't exist. And yet they got better. Where there's life, there's hope. What King Candy's counting on is fear.
"So whatever King Candy is planning, count me out. I hope you've got more sense than to listen to him, Ralph.
"Besides, didn't you just bust up his castle? Think maybe he's just a tiny bit bitter about it?"
Jake stomped back inside, going to check on Vanellope. Best not to leave her alone under these circumstances.
shadowsaint007
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Yeah, not really punny enough. Should have been more like this:
"Cheese, what's with you heroes? Can't take one someone with a chip on their shoulders? Then how about you chocolate on this, cause I'm no cookie-cutter villains. Really, it's not a gouda thing to brie distracted in battle, lest you get cobblered, and that would really be a peach. You act like being a hero is a piece of cake, which is pie I mozza shake my head and show you why it's no mean feta.
"However, as much as I like to ham it up, this is provolone to be a drag. So let's wrap it up, and I wish you cheddar luck in the next life."
"Cheese, what's with you heroes? Can't take one someone with a chip on their shoulders? Then how about you chocolate on this, cause I'm no cookie-cutter villains. Really, it's not a gouda thing to brie distracted in battle, lest you get cobblered, and that would really be a peach. You act like being a hero is a piece of cake, which is pie I mozza shake my head and show you why it's no mean feta.
"However, as much as I like to ham it up, this is provolone to be a drag. So let's wrap it up, and I wish you cheddar luck in the next life."
Unless Letter Bee says otherwise, I'm going to assume Ascot left just before Jake returned.
Jake raised an eyebrow at the idea of "baking" a car. He had seen some old jalopies being put together by his old buddy Miguel, but... something told him this was probably not a very efficient way of making cars. Ol' Mike would have been shaking his head in disbelief had he been there.
Still, the little tyke was overjoyed at the result, and it seemed to work. They were about to make a discrete exit when King Candy broke in with his enforcers. Apparently, someone set off the silent alarm.
"Knew we should have bound and gagged that sleeping old man," Jake mumbled to himself. Still, no point crying over spilled milk.
King Candy looked furious. He recognized the duo of Ascot and Ralph, and was not at all pleased to see that they were helping the "glitch".
Ralph and Jake grabbed the frosting bags, and squeezed them full-force at Candy and his escort, knocking the bald king down.
"Sire! Are you alright?!" Winchell asked in concern as he helped his King up.
"I'm fine, they just glazed me," he chuckled. "GET TH- where'd they go?!"
By the time he had gotten up, the party made a hasty exit, Jake smashing down a wall to allow his friends out. Ralph and Vanellope took the newly-made cart, Jake took his Glider, and the King's forces were in hot pursuit. Despite there being three Keybladers and one uber-strong wild man among them, Ralph told the group it was better to make a hasty retreat than to fight.
Jake shrugged. Best to get the kids to safety, he supposed. Besides, Ascot and Ralph were still a bit woozy from their fight wrecking up the castle. Still, he figured it was probably best to give a distraction to throw off the pursuit.
Jake jumped off the Glider, hitting the ground running.
"Go ahead!" he called out to the group, "I'll distract them and catch up!"
Summoning his axes again, he jumped high, and then charged his axes with as much power as he can, slamming into the ground with such force that he caused a giant crater, and a cloud of dust to kick up, obscuring the group from King Candy's car. Candy had to swerve sharply and hit the brakes to avoid getting slammed by the shower of candy bits and debris, while one of the police cars wasn't so lucky, falling over into the dirt as it was knocked aside. Candy coughed, clearing the dirt from his mouth, before glimpsing Jake going around a corner, ostensibly following the group.
"There they are! Get them!" he exclaimed, and immediately hit the gas, chasing after Jake. The remaining car chased him too.
Jake, however, had made a note of where the group was heading, and was actually leading the chase in a different direction. He halted the glider suddenly, turning to face Candy and his policemen.
Candy saw Jake stopping, confused as Jake didn't seem to move, or do anything. Just then, out of the corner of his eyes, he noticed that Jake was hovering over a giant lake of banana pudding, obscured by the small hill ahead of them. With a gasp, he pulled over just in time, but turned to see the other police ploughing ahead heedlessly.
"Stop! You fools! It's a trick!" he cried out.
Too late. The car managed to catch some air, only to fall back down right into the pudding swamp in front of Jake. Duncan and Winchell swam up to the surface, sputtering and coughing up banana pudding and wiping it off their sunglasses. Jake gave a mocking salute, and flew off.
"Come back here, Criminal Scum!" cried Winchell impotently, waving his baton.
With the pursuit gone, Jake went back to the crater he made, and started following the cart tracks in the dirt road. To his surprise, he found it lead to two sugar-free lollipops, crossed together on the side of a volcano that looked like a soda bottle.
Cautiously, he reached out to touch the wall, only to find that his arm went through it like it wasn't there.
"Interesting," he mused, and stepped through. Inside, he found a large tunnel, which he followed. The whole area smelled like a volcano - if said volcano had overly warm cola instead of lava and brimstone. He found Vanellope, Ralph, and the others inside, with what looked like a bed haphazardly built together of discarded items.
"Hey guys," he spoke up. "Sorry it took so long. Did I miss anything?"
Still, the little tyke was overjoyed at the result, and it seemed to work. They were about to make a discrete exit when King Candy broke in with his enforcers. Apparently, someone set off the silent alarm.
"Knew we should have bound and gagged that sleeping old man," Jake mumbled to himself. Still, no point crying over spilled milk.
King Candy looked furious. He recognized the duo of Ascot and Ralph, and was not at all pleased to see that they were helping the "glitch".
Ralph and Jake grabbed the frosting bags, and squeezed them full-force at Candy and his escort, knocking the bald king down.
"Sire! Are you alright?!" Winchell asked in concern as he helped his King up.
"I'm fine, they just glazed me," he chuckled. "GET TH- where'd they go?!"
By the time he had gotten up, the party made a hasty exit, Jake smashing down a wall to allow his friends out. Ralph and Vanellope took the newly-made cart, Jake took his Glider, and the King's forces were in hot pursuit. Despite there being three Keybladers and one uber-strong wild man among them, Ralph told the group it was better to make a hasty retreat than to fight.
Jake shrugged. Best to get the kids to safety, he supposed. Besides, Ascot and Ralph were still a bit woozy from their fight wrecking up the castle. Still, he figured it was probably best to give a distraction to throw off the pursuit.
Jake jumped off the Glider, hitting the ground running.
"Go ahead!" he called out to the group, "I'll distract them and catch up!"
Summoning his axes again, he jumped high, and then charged his axes with as much power as he can, slamming into the ground with such force that he caused a giant crater, and a cloud of dust to kick up, obscuring the group from King Candy's car. Candy had to swerve sharply and hit the brakes to avoid getting slammed by the shower of candy bits and debris, while one of the police cars wasn't so lucky, falling over into the dirt as it was knocked aside. Candy coughed, clearing the dirt from his mouth, before glimpsing Jake going around a corner, ostensibly following the group.
"There they are! Get them!" he exclaimed, and immediately hit the gas, chasing after Jake. The remaining car chased him too.
Jake, however, had made a note of where the group was heading, and was actually leading the chase in a different direction. He halted the glider suddenly, turning to face Candy and his policemen.
Candy saw Jake stopping, confused as Jake didn't seem to move, or do anything. Just then, out of the corner of his eyes, he noticed that Jake was hovering over a giant lake of banana pudding, obscured by the small hill ahead of them. With a gasp, he pulled over just in time, but turned to see the other police ploughing ahead heedlessly.
"Stop! You fools! It's a trick!" he cried out.
Too late. The car managed to catch some air, only to fall back down right into the pudding swamp in front of Jake. Duncan and Winchell swam up to the surface, sputtering and coughing up banana pudding and wiping it off their sunglasses. Jake gave a mocking salute, and flew off.
"Come back here, Criminal Scum!" cried Winchell impotently, waving his baton.
With the pursuit gone, Jake went back to the crater he made, and started following the cart tracks in the dirt road. To his surprise, he found it lead to two sugar-free lollipops, crossed together on the side of a volcano that looked like a soda bottle.
Cautiously, he reached out to touch the wall, only to find that his arm went through it like it wasn't there.
"Interesting," he mused, and stepped through. Inside, he found a large tunnel, which he followed. The whole area smelled like a volcano - if said volcano had overly warm cola instead of lava and brimstone. He found Vanellope, Ralph, and the others inside, with what looked like a bed haphazardly built together of discarded items.
"Hey guys," he spoke up. "Sorry it took so long. Did I miss anything?"
OOC: Sorry it took so long, guys. Busy week.
Jake was leading the two girls based on directions Vanellope was giving them. They had barely managed to get in site of the car factory when Ascot and Ralph finally caught up.
"Man, look at that thing," Jake whistled. "All that just to make a couple of candy cars? They certainly roll deep around here."
He turned to the two arrivals.
"Well, you two took your time - and good grief, what happened to you too?! You look like you've been in a war!!"
"Let's just say," Ralph responded, "King Candy is a BIG fan of exterior decoration."
"Oh?"
"The type that includes fireballs, explosions, and high-pressure hoses."
"Wait," Jake protested. "All this place has is candy! Ho-"
Ralph raised a hand to interrupted Jake, reached around, winced, and then grunted as he pulled out something from his side. He presented it to Jake who recognized the shard.
"Wait, how did you get Peanut Brittle stuck in your... actually wait, I don't want to know."
"Thanks."
"Talk about overkill, what sort of a distraction did you two do to piss him off so much?! Speaking of which..."
Jake looked around.
"What about Belle? Did you agree on a time to meet?"
He looked at the sun's position. It must have been more than an hour or two. Either King Candy's castle was a veritable labyrinth, or...
"She's late," Jake muttered. "I don't like this. I know she's supposed to be a skilled infiltrator, but... this is taking too long..."
Jake was leading the two girls based on directions Vanellope was giving them. They had barely managed to get in site of the car factory when Ascot and Ralph finally caught up.
"Man, look at that thing," Jake whistled. "All that just to make a couple of candy cars? They certainly roll deep around here."
He turned to the two arrivals.
"Well, you two took your time - and good grief, what happened to you too?! You look like you've been in a war!!"
"Let's just say," Ralph responded, "King Candy is a BIG fan of exterior decoration."
"Oh?"
"The type that includes fireballs, explosions, and high-pressure hoses."
"Wait," Jake protested. "All this place has is candy! Ho-"
Ralph raised a hand to interrupted Jake, reached around, winced, and then grunted as he pulled out something from his side. He presented it to Jake who recognized the shard.
"Wait, how did you get Peanut Brittle stuck in your... actually wait, I don't want to know."
"Thanks."
"Talk about overkill, what sort of a distraction did you two do to piss him off so much?! Speaking of which..."
Jake looked around.
"What about Belle? Did you agree on a time to meet?"
He looked at the sun's position. It must have been more than an hour or two. Either King Candy's castle was a veritable labyrinth, or...
"She's late," Jake muttered. "I don't like this. I know she's supposed to be a skilled infiltrator, but... this is taking too long..."
When Belle darted off, Jake reacted quickly.
"Oh, that's how you wanna play, huh?" he grinned. "Have it your way!"
He quickly picked up both Ascot and Amaya, told them to hold on, and then ran as quickly as his strong legs could carry him. His feet pounded through the forest path, his sense of direction keen, his heartbeat strong and regular. He leapt over obstacles and creeks in strong bounds. Yet despite his athletic effort, he arrived just a touch behind the nimble little thief. He put down the two kids carefully.
"Darn, I must be getting old," he said in a joking tone. "Oh dearie, dearie me, my arthritis is acting up!"
His chuckles were cut short when the ruckus caused by Vanellope's appearance and escape at the race.
Jake listens intently to Ascot and Belle's plan, nodding in agreement.
"I'm going with Belle. She might need the backup, you never know when you could use some muscle."
Then he turns to Ralph.
"Think you're up to the challenge, big guy?"
"Oh, that's how you wanna play, huh?" he grinned. "Have it your way!"
He quickly picked up both Ascot and Amaya, told them to hold on, and then ran as quickly as his strong legs could carry him. His feet pounded through the forest path, his sense of direction keen, his heartbeat strong and regular. He leapt over obstacles and creeks in strong bounds. Yet despite his athletic effort, he arrived just a touch behind the nimble little thief. He put down the two kids carefully.
"Darn, I must be getting old," he said in a joking tone. "Oh dearie, dearie me, my arthritis is acting up!"
His chuckles were cut short when the ruckus caused by Vanellope's appearance and escape at the race.
Jake listens intently to Ascot and Belle's plan, nodding in agreement.
"I'm going with Belle. She might need the backup, you never know when you could use some muscle."
Then he turns to Ralph.
"Think you're up to the challenge, big guy?"
"Only place she can go," Jake said in response to Belle, his arm pointing out to the races. "She did mention she needed it to enter the race, so that's your safest bet.
"As for the Cy-Bug nest..." Jake walked up to the dead Cy-Bug, and tore Belle's giant shuriken from it with a mighty yank. He sniffed the bug blood on the blade, then the bug itself, noting the pattern colors of its carapace while he was at it.
"Well, that's weird," he mused. "It definitely smells like grease, bug, and metal under it all, but it's like it's been marinated in candy and strawberry fudge. Like somehow it's been trying to meld in with this world."
He turns to his comrades.
"And I don't like the sound of that," he continued, hefting his axe on his shoulder. "Not one bit.
"For now, though, let's just head for the racetrack. From the looks of it, most of the locals have turned up to watch. If you listen, you can faintly hear the crowds. So yeah, some fast footwork is gonna be a good idea.
"Anyone want a lift? I'm probably the fastest endurance runner among you guys, so it might help us move together."
"As for the Cy-Bug nest..." Jake walked up to the dead Cy-Bug, and tore Belle's giant shuriken from it with a mighty yank. He sniffed the bug blood on the blade, then the bug itself, noting the pattern colors of its carapace while he was at it.
"Well, that's weird," he mused. "It definitely smells like grease, bug, and metal under it all, but it's like it's been marinated in candy and strawberry fudge. Like somehow it's been trying to meld in with this world."
He turns to his comrades.
"And I don't like the sound of that," he continued, hefting his axe on his shoulder. "Not one bit.
"For now, though, let's just head for the racetrack. From the looks of it, most of the locals have turned up to watch. If you listen, you can faintly hear the crowds. So yeah, some fast footwork is gonna be a good idea.
"Anyone want a lift? I'm probably the fastest endurance runner among you guys, so it might help us move together."
Yeah... Felix's hammer is absolutely useless in combat. He tries to smash out of his prison cell in the movie - and winds up strengthening the prison window bars. So him using it as the Hammer Mjolnir to inflict pain is going to backfire in a big way.
He makes an excellent healer, though.
EDIT: Also forgot how tiny the damn hammer is - its reach is horrible!
He makes an excellent healer, though.
EDIT: Also forgot how tiny the damn hammer is - its reach is horrible!
Before Jake could respond, Belle nailed the flying Cy-bug rather expertly. He managed to grab the medal before it landed on the ground.
"That's a pretty good shot," he whistled. "Though about magic... um, yeah, not really my field. Sorry, but I'm more of a straight-up close combat expert.
"Besides, this just solves the issue of the medal - it doesn't answer where the Cy-Bug's hive is, nor where the Sign is."
He takes a good look at the medal, noting that the medal seems rather... military in nature. He takes a glance at Ralph and Vanellope, sensing something was amiss. Still, it was their medallion, so he hands it over.
"That's a pretty good shot," he whistled. "Though about magic... um, yeah, not really my field. Sorry, but I'm more of a straight-up close combat expert.
"Besides, this just solves the issue of the medal - it doesn't answer where the Cy-Bug's hive is, nor where the Sign is."
He takes a good look at the medal, noting that the medal seems rather... military in nature. He takes a glance at Ralph and Vanellope, sensing something was amiss. Still, it was their medallion, so he hands it over.
*sigh*
Should really have tried to play the KH games. Then again, not really a console player.
Should really have tried to play the KH games. Then again, not really a console player.
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