shitposting is a art
*an
also, no
The Nexerus
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- The Nexerus 12 yrs ago
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*an
also, no
Welcome to the Guild, Moose King.
Are you Canadian?
Are you Canadian?
[+1 Interest]
It's a consequence of the rise of the alt-right. Millenial Trump supporters all want to look like their revered Nazi heroes.
Well not a single one of you bastards would be allowed in my house, that's for sure.
>dipping healthy things in unhealthy things
Disgusting. You're just ruining the natural taste and texture of whatever you're eating. Next you'll tell me you love broccoli and spinach, but only if it's been glazed in chocolate and then deep-fried.
Disgusting. You're just ruining the natural taste and texture of whatever you're eating. Next you'll tell me you love broccoli and spinach, but only if it's been glazed in chocolate and then deep-fried.
Look, I was gonna go easy on you and not to hurt your feelings
But I'm only going to get this one chance
Something's wrong, I can feel it (Six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)
Just a feeling I've got, like something's about to happen, but I don't know what
If that means, what I think it means, we're in trouble, big trouble,
And if he is as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances
You were just what the doctor ordered
I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box?
They said I rap like a robot, so call me Rapbot
But for me to rap like a computer must be in my genes
I got a laptop in my back pocket
My pen'll go off when I half-cock it
Got a fat knot from that rap profit
Made a living and a killing off it
Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office
With Monica Lewinsky feeling on his nut-sack
I'm an MC still as honest
But as rude and indecent as all hell syllables, killaholic (Kill 'em all with)
This slickety, gibbedy, hibbedy hip hop
You don't really wanna get into a pissing match with this rappidy rap
Packing a Mac in the back of the Ac, pack backpack rap, yep, yackidy-yac
The exact same time I attempt these lyrical acrobat stunts while I'm practicing
That I'll still be able to break a motherfuckin' table
Over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half
Only realized it was ironic I was signed to Aftermath after the fact
How could I not blow? All I do is drop F-bombs, feel my wrath of attack
Rappers are having a rough time period, here's a Maxipad
It's actually disastrously bad
For the wack while I'm masterfully constructing this masterpiece as
I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box?
Let me show you maintaining this shit ain't that hard, that hard
Everybody want the key and the secret to rap immortality like I have got
Well, to be truthful the blueprint's simply rage and youthful exuberance
Everybody loves to root for a nuisance
Hit the earth like an asteroid, did nothing but shoot for the moon since
MC's get taken to school with this music
Cause I use it as a vehicle to bust a rhyme
Now I lead a new school full of students
Me? I'm a product of Rakim, Lakim Shabazz, 2Pac N-
-W.A, Cube, hey, Doc, Ren, Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim
Inspired enough to one day grow up, blow up and be in a position
To meet Run DMC and induct them into the motherfuckin' Rock n'
Roll Hall of Fame
Even though I walk in the church and burst in a ball of flames
Only Hall of Fame I be inducted in is the alcohol of fame
On the wall of shame
You fags think it's all a game 'til I walk a flock of flames
Off of planking, tell me what in the fuck are you thinking?
Little gay looking boy
So gay I can barely say it with a straight face looking boy
You witnessing a massacre
Like you watching a church gathering take place looking boy
Oy vey, that boy's gay, that's all they say looking boy
You get a thumbs up, pat on the back
And a way to go from your label everyday looking boy
Hey, looking boy, what you say looking boy?
I got a "hell yeah" from Dre looking boy
I'mma work for everything I have
Never ask nobody for shit, get outta my face looking boy
Basically boy you're never gonna be capable
To keep up with the same pace looking boy
'Cause I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
The way I'm racing around the track, call me Nascar, Nascar
Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park, the White Trash God
Kneel before General Zod this planet's Krypton, no Asgard, Asgard
So you be Thor and I'll be Odin, you rodent, I'm omnipotent
Let off then I'm reloading immediately with these bombs I'm totin'
And I should not be woken
I'm the walking dead, but I'm just a talking head, a zombie floating
But I got your mom deep throating
I'm out my ramen noodle, we have nothing in common, poodle
I'm a doberman, pinch yourself in the arm and pay homage, pupil
It's me, my honesty's brutal
But it's honestly futile if I don't utilize what I do though
For good at least once in a while
So I wanna make sure somewhere in this chicken scratch I scribble and doodle
Enough rhymes to maybe to try and help get some people through tough times
But I gotta keep a few punchlines just in case cause even you unsigned
Rappers are hungry looking at me like it's lunchtime
I know there was a time where once I
Was king of the underground, but I still rap like I'm on my Pharoahe Monch grind
So I crunch rhymes, but sometimes when you combine
Appeal with the skin color of mine
You get too big and here they come trying to,
Censor you like that one line I said on "I'm Back" from the Marshall Mathers LP
One where I tried to say I take seven kids from Columbine
Put 'em all in a line, add an AK-47, a revolver and a nine
See if I get away with it now that I ain't as big as I was, but I've
Morphed into an immortal coming through the portal
You're stuck in a time warp from 2004 though
And I don't know what the fuck that you rhyme for
You're pointless as Rapunzel with fucking cornrows
You're like normal, fuck being normal
And I just bought a new Raygun from the future
To just come and shoot ya like when Fabolous made Ray J mad
'Cause Fab said he looked like a fag at Maywhether's pad
Singin' to a man while they played piano
Man, oh man, that was a 24/7 special on the cable channel
So Ray J went straight to the radio station the very next day
"Hey, Fab, I'mma kill you"
Lyrics coming at you at supersonic speed, (JJ Fad)
Uh, sama lamaa duma lamaa you assuming I'm a human
What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman
Innovative and I'm made of rubber
So that anything you saying ricocheting off of me and it'll glue to you
I'm never stating, more than never demonstrating
How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating
Never fading, and I know that the haters are forever waiting
For the day that they can say I fell off, they'd be celebrating
Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated
I make elevating music, you make elevator music
Oh, he's too mainstream
Well, that's what they do when they get jealous, they confuse it
It's not hip hop, it's pop, cause I found a hella way to fuse it
With rock, shock rap with Doc
Throw on Lose Yourself and make 'em lose it
I don't know how to make songs like that
I don't know what words to use
Let me know when it occurs to you
While I'm ripping any one of these verses diverse as you
It's curtains, I'm inadvertently hurtin' you
How many verses I gotta murder to,
Prove that if you're half as nice at songs you can sacrifice virgins too uh!
School flunkie, pill junky
But look at the accolades the skills brung me
Full of myself, but still hungry
I bully myself cause I make me do what I put my mind to
And I'm a million leagues above you, ill when I speak in tongues
But it's still tongue in cheek, fuck you
I'm drunk so Satan take the fucking wheel, I'm asleep in the front seat
Bumping Heavy D and the Boys, still chunky, but funky
But in my head there's something I can feel tugging and struggling
Angels fight with devils, here's what they want from me
They asking me to eliminate some of the women hate
But if you take into consideration the bitter hatred that I had
Then you may be a little patient and more sympathetic to the situation
And understand the discrimination
But fuck it, life's handing you lemons, make lemonade then
But if I can't batter the women how the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then?
Don't mistake it for Satan
It's a fatal mistake if you think I need to be overseas
And take a vacation to trip a broad
And make her fall on her face and don't be a retard
Be a king? Think not, why be a king when you can be a God?
But I'm only going to get this one chance
Something's wrong, I can feel it (Six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)
Just a feeling I've got, like something's about to happen, but I don't know what
If that means, what I think it means, we're in trouble, big trouble,
And if he is as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances
You were just what the doctor ordered
I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box?
They said I rap like a robot, so call me Rapbot
But for me to rap like a computer must be in my genes
I got a laptop in my back pocket
My pen'll go off when I half-cock it
Got a fat knot from that rap profit
Made a living and a killing off it
Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office
With Monica Lewinsky feeling on his nut-sack
I'm an MC still as honest
But as rude and indecent as all hell syllables, killaholic (Kill 'em all with)
This slickety, gibbedy, hibbedy hip hop
You don't really wanna get into a pissing match with this rappidy rap
Packing a Mac in the back of the Ac, pack backpack rap, yep, yackidy-yac
The exact same time I attempt these lyrical acrobat stunts while I'm practicing
That I'll still be able to break a motherfuckin' table
Over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half
Only realized it was ironic I was signed to Aftermath after the fact
How could I not blow? All I do is drop F-bombs, feel my wrath of attack
Rappers are having a rough time period, here's a Maxipad
It's actually disastrously bad
For the wack while I'm masterfully constructing this masterpiece as
I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box?
Let me show you maintaining this shit ain't that hard, that hard
Everybody want the key and the secret to rap immortality like I have got
Well, to be truthful the blueprint's simply rage and youthful exuberance
Everybody loves to root for a nuisance
Hit the earth like an asteroid, did nothing but shoot for the moon since
MC's get taken to school with this music
Cause I use it as a vehicle to bust a rhyme
Now I lead a new school full of students
Me? I'm a product of Rakim, Lakim Shabazz, 2Pac N-
-W.A, Cube, hey, Doc, Ren, Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim
Inspired enough to one day grow up, blow up and be in a position
To meet Run DMC and induct them into the motherfuckin' Rock n'
Roll Hall of Fame
Even though I walk in the church and burst in a ball of flames
Only Hall of Fame I be inducted in is the alcohol of fame
On the wall of shame
You fags think it's all a game 'til I walk a flock of flames
Off of planking, tell me what in the fuck are you thinking?
Little gay looking boy
So gay I can barely say it with a straight face looking boy
You witnessing a massacre
Like you watching a church gathering take place looking boy
Oy vey, that boy's gay, that's all they say looking boy
You get a thumbs up, pat on the back
And a way to go from your label everyday looking boy
Hey, looking boy, what you say looking boy?
I got a "hell yeah" from Dre looking boy
I'mma work for everything I have
Never ask nobody for shit, get outta my face looking boy
Basically boy you're never gonna be capable
To keep up with the same pace looking boy
'Cause I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
The way I'm racing around the track, call me Nascar, Nascar
Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park, the White Trash God
Kneel before General Zod this planet's Krypton, no Asgard, Asgard
So you be Thor and I'll be Odin, you rodent, I'm omnipotent
Let off then I'm reloading immediately with these bombs I'm totin'
And I should not be woken
I'm the walking dead, but I'm just a talking head, a zombie floating
But I got your mom deep throating
I'm out my ramen noodle, we have nothing in common, poodle
I'm a doberman, pinch yourself in the arm and pay homage, pupil
It's me, my honesty's brutal
But it's honestly futile if I don't utilize what I do though
For good at least once in a while
So I wanna make sure somewhere in this chicken scratch I scribble and doodle
Enough rhymes to maybe to try and help get some people through tough times
But I gotta keep a few punchlines just in case cause even you unsigned
Rappers are hungry looking at me like it's lunchtime
I know there was a time where once I
Was king of the underground, but I still rap like I'm on my Pharoahe Monch grind
So I crunch rhymes, but sometimes when you combine
Appeal with the skin color of mine
You get too big and here they come trying to,
Censor you like that one line I said on "I'm Back" from the Marshall Mathers LP
One where I tried to say I take seven kids from Columbine
Put 'em all in a line, add an AK-47, a revolver and a nine
See if I get away with it now that I ain't as big as I was, but I've
Morphed into an immortal coming through the portal
You're stuck in a time warp from 2004 though
And I don't know what the fuck that you rhyme for
You're pointless as Rapunzel with fucking cornrows
You're like normal, fuck being normal
And I just bought a new Raygun from the future
To just come and shoot ya like when Fabolous made Ray J mad
'Cause Fab said he looked like a fag at Maywhether's pad
Singin' to a man while they played piano
Man, oh man, that was a 24/7 special on the cable channel
So Ray J went straight to the radio station the very next day
"Hey, Fab, I'mma kill you"
Lyrics coming at you at supersonic speed, (JJ Fad)
Uh, sama lamaa duma lamaa you assuming I'm a human
What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman
Innovative and I'm made of rubber
So that anything you saying ricocheting off of me and it'll glue to you
I'm never stating, more than never demonstrating
How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating
Never fading, and I know that the haters are forever waiting
For the day that they can say I fell off, they'd be celebrating
Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated
I make elevating music, you make elevator music
Oh, he's too mainstream
Well, that's what they do when they get jealous, they confuse it
It's not hip hop, it's pop, cause I found a hella way to fuse it
With rock, shock rap with Doc
Throw on Lose Yourself and make 'em lose it
I don't know how to make songs like that
I don't know what words to use
Let me know when it occurs to you
While I'm ripping any one of these verses diverse as you
It's curtains, I'm inadvertently hurtin' you
How many verses I gotta murder to,
Prove that if you're half as nice at songs you can sacrifice virgins too uh!
School flunkie, pill junky
But look at the accolades the skills brung me
Full of myself, but still hungry
I bully myself cause I make me do what I put my mind to
And I'm a million leagues above you, ill when I speak in tongues
But it's still tongue in cheek, fuck you
I'm drunk so Satan take the fucking wheel, I'm asleep in the front seat
Bumping Heavy D and the Boys, still chunky, but funky
But in my head there's something I can feel tugging and struggling
Angels fight with devils, here's what they want from me
They asking me to eliminate some of the women hate
But if you take into consideration the bitter hatred that I had
Then you may be a little patient and more sympathetic to the situation
And understand the discrimination
But fuck it, life's handing you lemons, make lemonade then
But if I can't batter the women how the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then?
Don't mistake it for Satan
It's a fatal mistake if you think I need to be overseas
And take a vacation to trip a broad
And make her fall on her face and don't be a retard
Be a king? Think not, why be a king when you can be a God?
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're going to have a problem here
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
Started whoopin' her ass worse than before, they first get divorced
Throwing her over furniture
It's the return of the "Oh wait, no way, your kidding,
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr Dre said
Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha)
Feminist women love Eminem, chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you know what
Flippin' the you know who "yeah, but he's so cute though"
Yea I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms
Sometimes I want to get on TV and just let loose, but can't,
But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a women's clitoris is.
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is, by the time they hit 4th grade,
They got the discovery channel don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals,
Well some of us cannibals, who cut other people open like cantaloupes.
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote.
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too.
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.
"But Slim what if you win wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears.
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first.
Little bitch put me on blast on M-T-V
"Yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim, he he"
I should download her audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D.
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I've been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me, who dress like me
Walk, talk and act like me, it just might be the next best thing,
But not quite me
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
I'm like a head trip to listen to
'Cause I'm only giving you, things you joke about with your friends
Inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
And I don't gotta be false or sugar coat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it, and whether you like to admit it (rip)
I just shit it better than 90 percent of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums, it's funny
'Cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting.
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens
And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin' he could be workin' at Burger King
Spitten on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot circling,
Screaming I don't give a fuck with his windows down and system up
So will the real Shady, please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up
And to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
Haha, I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us,
Fuck it,
Let's all stand up
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're going to have a problem here
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
Started whoopin' her ass worse than before, they first get divorced
Throwing her over furniture
It's the return of the "Oh wait, no way, your kidding,
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr Dre said
Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha)
Feminist women love Eminem, chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you know what
Flippin' the you know who "yeah, but he's so cute though"
Yea I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms
Sometimes I want to get on TV and just let loose, but can't,
But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a women's clitoris is.
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is, by the time they hit 4th grade,
They got the discovery channel don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals,
Well some of us cannibals, who cut other people open like cantaloupes.
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote.
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too.
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.
"But Slim what if you win wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears.
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first.
Little bitch put me on blast on M-T-V
"Yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim, he he"
I should download her audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D.
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I've been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me, who dress like me
Walk, talk and act like me, it just might be the next best thing,
But not quite me
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
I'm like a head trip to listen to
'Cause I'm only giving you, things you joke about with your friends
Inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
And I don't gotta be false or sugar coat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it, and whether you like to admit it (rip)
I just shit it better than 90 percent of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums, it's funny
'Cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting.
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens
And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin' he could be workin' at Burger King
Spitten on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot circling,
Screaming I don't give a fuck with his windows down and system up
So will the real Shady, please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up
And to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up
Haha, I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us,
Fuck it,
Let's all stand up
1. Leave EU
2. Invade Germany
3. ???
4. Charlemagne
Start with Belgium. Use the German strategy against them.
Hi there. Briton here.
We can't pronounce words correctly because of our bad teeth.
Cheers,
-Briton
We can't pronounce words correctly because of our bad teeth.
Cheers,
-Briton
© 2007-2026