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6 yrs ago
Current Boy, you're like a pizza cutter: all edge and no point.
3 likes
6 yrs ago
I think I should write a pithy roleplay about how an expenditure of effort does not entitle you to your perception of an equivalent reward. Anyone know someone who'd be interested?
7 likes
7 yrs ago
Okay, let's be honest for a second here, if we stop the status bar from being edgy angst land it really doesn't have anything going for it except sheer autism.
2 likes
7 yrs ago
Does anyone know where you can get a white trilby embroidered with threatening messages? Asking for a friend.
3 likes
7 yrs ago
My genius truly knows no bounds. Only an intellect as glorious as mine can possibly G3T K1D.
3 likes

Bio

Behold the Terrorists of Valhalla:



Behold the Cavemen of Valhalla:

Most Recent Posts

Ophelia


Ophelia pondered the reply for only a moment before she manipulated the runebrand once more and applied to herself the Deception rune, wondering what might happen if her mind was the catalyst that might enable these two mirrors and halves to become conjoined: and indeed, a new rune was formed within her as she applied Deception atop Guidance.

Ophelia has obtained the Truth Rune. On its own, manifests the combined properties of Guidance and Deception. But when used by the wielder of the Sword of Eldritch Truth, it protects from eldritch influence and allows it to draw on the arcane aptitude of its wielder to invoke great powers, unleashing its true potential.

Kneeling down she once again proferred the projection case of the runebrand to the little ones to seek their insight, and they dutifully presented her with another scroll.

Truth
A terrifying rune that has never before touched a human mind.
On its own, manifests the combined properties of Guidance and Deception. But when used by the wielder of the Sword of Eldritch Truth, it protects from eldritch influence and allows it to draw on the arcane aptitude of its wielder to invoke great powers, unleashing its true potential.
Truth is the primordial basis of all insight. To obtain truth is to stand on the precipice of doom or divinity, for nothing could ever be more maddening.
Messenger scroll about the Truth Rune


"Ah, there it is. You have finally obtained Truth, Champion, and you and this one are finally truly bound together. This one has many powers, but its power is dependent on your attunement with the arcane. The more attuned you become, the more powers you can invoke. Would you like to know what you can do with your current power, Champion?"

"Ahh, Truth... At last. Yes, my blessed blade, please enlighten me. I have so many questions, and there is so much more to know." Ophelia thought, mind aglow with something profound beyond the ability of words to describe. It was rather rapturous, even dizzying, to feel such awesome insight occurring in real time.

"Indeed. The powers of this weapon, as you might have guessed, are invoked with short incantations. You already know 'Gestalt truth' and 'Evoke Archspark', which creates the Cosmic Sword of Truth and attunes it to voltaic energies. 'Fractured truth' will split it back into the Holy Moonlight Sword and Profane Abyssal Blade until such a time as you recombine them. You can also change the shape of the Cosmic Sword of Truth by incanting 'Elucidate Holy Truth' to make it resemble the Holy Moonlight Sword, 'Elucidate Profane Truth' for the Profane Abyssal Blade, and 'Elucidate Cosmic Truth' to return it to its current form. Aside from Archspark, you can also 'Evoke Archflame', 'Evoke Archblade' and 'Evoke Archtruth' to shift the nature of its blade and powers to flame, physicalit"The sword can only grant its power to its wielder, Champion. But channeling blood echoes... that could work. Yes, channel blood echoes to grow your arcane power, and you shall access more of the dormant potential of the sword."y or its base nature of the arcane... though all the invocations that change its attunement will require two quicksilver bullets. Finally - at least for now, until your power grows - you can incant 'Come forth, Gnosis' while supplying it with three quicksilver bullets, and its blade will be wreathed in energy that will completely immobilize the next creature it touches for three seconds."

"Such majesty, such wonder... with power like this, what can stand before us? We are bound to Flora's Dream, and can channel the power of Blood Echoes to augment our capacity as Paleblood Hunters--is this what you mean by our power growing? Ah, and I wonder... though only I can be the Champion, can others wield any of your powers if I allow them to wield you?"

"The sword can only grant its power to its wielder, Champion. But channeling blood echoes... that could work. Yes, channel blood echoes to grow your arcane power, and you shall access more of the dormant potential of the sword."

"Then we shall seek out worthy prey and grow strong, stronger than anything... You were forged to kill a god, is that right? Which god? By whom?"

"Kill a god? This one has no memory of such a thing, nor any who wielded it for that purpose."

"How strange; the little ones who traverse the Nightmare told me such. Perhaps it is nothing more than a tale, or a memory deeper than you have access to? Does the depth of your knowledge increase as my affinity with the arcane does? Do you remember everything now? I once asked my half if there was a method of ascension to becoming a Great One that you know of--is there anything you've remembered about that?"

"It recalls every moment since it became aware; if there was such a god-hunt with the sword, it would have to have been before it gained awareness. As for its knowledge, about most things it is already as great as it will ever be. But becoming a Great One... it cannot be certain as it does not have a clear idea of what powers it may gain, but it has a feeling that sufficient arcane power may enable such ascension."

"Hm... The ritual at Yahar'gul, beckoning the Cosmos... is that what they are doing there?"

There was a moment's silence. "Return to the Waking World and ask again; it is difficult to get a good feeling of what is happening there from the Interstice."

"Yes, it is about time we returned. I wonder... can you sense the conduits, the unlit lanterns, that enable us to return? If so... is there one nearby?"

"The movements of the denizens of the Dream are sadly beyond its power to perceive. But if there was no conduit where you arrived, perhaps there will be one down one of the other tunnels?"

"Quite; let us search. Ah, and there is something else I must know: the false Paleblood that runs through Farren's veins... is there anything you can tell me about it? The Golden One is our sworn enemy, and together we shall slay him. Every scrap of knowledge about him, his works, his minions, and his master Cael is precious." Ophelia thought, though she turned her gaze to Farren shortly after. Silence followed from her blade as it sometimes did when posed too many questions at once without room to think.

"Perhaps there's a lantern down one of the other tunnels? Or we could kill one another, if you prefer, but... I think it best to search first, mm? Though do beware--if there are any enemies left down here, they will go for you. Like Arrayah once was, I am now veiled from their perception."

Having put the Beastflayer in its place on his back and taken a knee while she was busy, Farren was in the process of gathering several vials of Arrayah's blood from the still steaming pool that had once been her body. Somehow, the act did not disgust him in the least. Perhaps after everything he had seen and they had endured with Arrayah, such a small thing simply paled in comparison. Finishing at three vials, Farren glanced in Ophelia's direction briefly before looking back to the ground. The Messengers had emerged--he'd called amidst his work--and he thanked them briefly before accepting the bundled fabric they had brought him. Pushing fully to his feet, Farren replied, “Mmm, just as well. I say we explore, see about locating a lantern. Before that, though...” he trailed off and briefly his gaze shifted through the dark. Farren grimaced. “I'll need to retrieve my damaged weapons.... Further, should we send word for the others?” It was phrased vaguely, but Farren seemed faintly distracted...and the slightest bit annoyed. While he awaited her reply, Farren's free hand retrieved his utility knife and he very carefully--with a surprisingly light touch--carved an 'A' into the side of each of the three blood vials now filled with Arrayah's blood. Then, just as carefully, he carved three lines, each radiating out from the letter.

That way, he could identify them by touch alone.

"Ah, yes! Torquil's axe and Gerlinde's... saw... thing? I think I heard one of them thud into the wall... I think maybe we just explore ourselves for now. If we don't find a lantern it seems a bit of a shame to make them come down here only to have to kill them again. I feel terrible enough for how much poor Torquil has died already; I motioned for him to go in with us to provoke that terrible onslaught of arcane blades she summoned, and I really did think she'd go for me--the poor dear... he's suffered the brunt of our bad luck. We should make it up to him, somehow, though... I don't know how." Ophelia chatted back, though she did so wordlessly with the aid of the Truth rune, ever-eager to explore the fruits of their labour. As she did so she searched around for the mislaid weapons, now more fearless than she'd ever been.
Ophelia


As Ophelia withdrew her now-completed blade and Gerlinde released something Ophelia had never seen before that exploded in dramatic fashion, she took a moment to brush off whatever debris had travelled enough to hit her (if any had) and quickly retrieved the Moonborn's bell, ringing it again in hopes it might dismiss their ally and prevent them from absorbing Arrayah's no-doubt powerful amount of blood echoes... but when it failed to do so, she simply shrugged and put it away before kneeling to beckon the little ones forth once more and retrieving the runebrand.

She posed a couple of questions to them while down there, too, asking them what they knew of both the Deception rune and the completed blade... and after she got her answers she reapplied the "Guidance" rune, and sighed with relaxation and relief at the whispers of her blade once again sounding whole and rich rather than restrained and distant and dull. Does the Deception rune allow you to commune with me just as easily as Guidance? And... given how similar they are, I cannot help but wonder: were they once part of a singular rune, or may they yet be in the future? she asked.
Ophelia


Ophelia took note of the short duration of the attack and pulled her blade from its shadowy sheath and admired it once more, in stark contrast to the new heights of revulsion Arrayah's monstrous form inspired. Ophelia had truly seen a lot--but all of that had been just people, or animals, or on occasion those who might find themselves betwixt... not this, not whatever foul progeny of the Old Blood this was. Arrayah had been down here devouring and being devoured, mutating and multiplying, for longer than Yharnam as they knew it had existed. Perhaps for longer than humanity had existed? As the abomination's chitinous insectoid wings detached themselves from their fleshy cocoon and began to vibrate they were joined by another keening from behind, though it quickly became obvious that it was Gerlinde--down but not out, and having healed herself enough to rejoin them in spectacular style.

Ophelia took advantage by following up with yet another repeat of the same attack, albeit this time taking the extra time to find a horizontal shadow from which to slice through Arrayah but leave Farren and Gerlinde unscathed. She considered perhaps using one of the attacks she was more familiar with, wondering how they looked both from her weapon's new heights of power and its change to being voltaic in nature... but as she loaded yet another quicksilver bullet for a follow-up, she figured that she would wait for Arrayah to finish whatever this transformation was and potentially use another attack depending on what happened next.
Ophelia


Bountiful as her supply was, Ophelia did not take even the brief instant necessary to evaluate whether she should use another quicksilver bullet--she simply retrieved the tube, loaded a globule into her weapon, and performed the same attack she had previously simply through as much of Arrayah's mass as possible. This time she would keep the blade there instead of withdrawing it immediately, however, waiting to see what the natural length of the effect was and if she had any control over it. With how Arrayah's wounds were knitting she figured there couldn't be too much longer to go (especially given how much of that damage was self-inflicted). She did not bother to quickstep out any further, with her and Farren almost having changed places and now being within a quickstep's distance of one another and Arrayah simulataneously. It seemed as though if they simply kept these powerful attacks up for long enough they would win, and Farren seemed to be taking leadership quite well: she would provide support until Farren worked up an opening that they could both exploit, or until something happened that appeared to threaten her.
Ophelia


It was clear to Ophelia in the moment of Arrayah's movement that she had let herself get a little too awestruck, and had not noticed when her last foot left the ground and simply had not returned. It was something of a rude awakening, a very real and rapidly approaching outcome that involved her body being quite horribly dismembered by what remained of Arrayah, and as the monstrosity practically vanished across the floor even her new Hunter's insincts balked and she realised she was not quick enough. She initiated the quickstep too late to avoid getting struck by the blow, though quickly enough that she rapidly retreated in Farren's direction and began to hurriedly administer a blood vial--she did not get the feeling that she would survive a second attack, and Farren still had the darkbeast's blood flowing through him... if Arrayah followed up into the two of them Ophelia would quite possibly get hit again--but Farren would also get another chance to strike, which might in turn offer Ophelia another moment of opportunity to act in.

It was clear to her that there was no more time for edging around their goal: now it was simply a matter of exterminating the beast before she did as much to them. Several thoughts buzzed around her head, though her awareness was now too submersed in her body to process them before the next thing happened--she could only wait for everything to catch up before she could decide what to react to next.
Deo’Irah


Much of Irah’s remaining time before they were called to dinner went to maintenance of the baths in order to ensure that everyone would have a chance to clean themselves up before dinner, and the small gaps of time she was afforded were used to put on her eveningwear, move her coach and ox somewhere more suitable with Jordan taking the lead on such an initiative already, and fetch from her coach a couple of extra bits: namely a weighty and cumbersome tome–which was really a binding containing many individual sets of notes stitched together–that did not leave her side and a handful of extra discs of pressed and processed tea leaves. Irah chose to sit near Madara and motioned for Lhirin to follow suit if he wished, as there was a matter of potential business and mutual professional interest that might be fruitful if they wished to discuss it, and listened on intently as her fingers unconsciously traced through the mixed leaves of the tome as Vela proffered the reward she’d mentioned. Irah made the quick mental calculation that between a hundred rodlin of their individual contributions 75 or so of that had already been spent on the vial of piaan that Lhirin had used and the rest on healing potions freely offered… which left their current reward of 125 rodlin each from the bounty and another 125 each for the next bout… her arithmetic was interrupted by a brief pang of nausea and a momentary rush of dizziness, but it had gotten as far as it needed to. She took notice of and returned the Baroness’ glance, only quipping back once she’d finished speaking.

“Peace within often requires peace without, especially for a vampire. This one has made his choices clear, and so ours become clear in turn.” she offered with a quick smile before her focus was returned to the collection of papers in front of her. It hadn’t escaped her notice that Madara carried with her chemical preparations of the medicinal sort, and that she might well want to stock up on some choice goods if they did intend to travel together. Irah never really kept too much track of the injuries she and Lhirin sustained about the road–most things could be ameliorated with very simple potioncraft and their own combined anatomical knowledge, but if she suddenly had to start being worried about a number of active melee combatants… well, it would do them good to have a minimum number of supplies ready and a plan to acquire more acutely needed things as necessary. To that end she and Madara and Jordan (or more likely both him and his master, given recent experiences of his exacting nature) would need to discuss how they meant to manage the logistics of moving their combined goods.

“If we’re to look after this lot, I thought it prudent we discuss what you and I have and what we’ll need more of. It could be some time before Bren awakens, so I will be happy to set up and take over his alchemical duties in the interim if the townsfolk have need and can work on stocking up if not… moving with a group this size I reckon getting a medicine chest together is eminently sensible.” Irah spoke to Madara, not making a particular effort to hide or raise her voice. She seemed to be thumbing through her works and making notes to particular pages as she did, simultaneously moving herself and things on the table so as to let the Manor’s staff fill the tables. She immediately went for the bowl of roasted nuts, nudging Lhirin and prompting him to place one in her mouth. He would no doubt recognise the glance and head tilt as the opening for something she had performed for him many times, universally recognisable as the “hands are full and I’m reading, feed me” gesture. She savoured the salty roasted flavour for only a moment as another soft ripple of nausea overcame her, and the space they left behind filled with a dull ache that would worsen before it got better–her penance for her recklessness. She found within the pain a dark satisfaction, of having taken on the sins of the world for her flesh to purify. Mercy to those who deserved it, and malice to the same–there would be plenty of time to question the surviving crusaders and look into the mystery that had been left to them… wouldn’t there? She supposed Lady Bor hadn’t given them a time frame.

“Supposing we accept, when would we be starting?” she asked, having to consciously avoid glancing over towards Freagon.
Ophelia


Ophelia internally cursed as the attack she launched proved ineffective yet again, though that part of her immediately fell into silence as the completed blade communed with her again. Of course, she thought, that makes sense. The Nightmare here was so thick it was almost suffocating, and Arrayah had been down here for countless ages--of course her bestial form had grown inured to it and all things born of it. She grinned to herself as the blade revealed a new mode of its power to her unbidden, and without even thinking about it she followed the instructions as soon as they were given--two more quicksilver bullets were fed into the blade as her right hand manipulated the tube, and her voice spoke out with piercing clarity: "Evoke Archspark."

She was not sure precisely what would happen, of course, but it sounded as though it were some sort of offensive blast: so in the same motion that that withdrew the blade from the ground with her left hand and fed it with the right, she pointed the blade directly at Arrayah's center mass as she completed the incantation and waited for another display of its profound glory to instil in her new heights of awe. An attack finally piercing Arrayah's hellish resistance would be immensely satisfying, though Ophelia could feel the dim tightness of fear attempting to encroach upon her as the inhuman wailing shook her conviction down to its core. With the blade's gentleness now combined with authority her resolve stood strong against it, but she knew that what came next would not be pleasant to witness or to be on the receiving end of and prayed they could slay Arrayah before the truest depths of her malice could be inflicted upon them.

Though Ophelia prepared for something immense to happen when she offered the required quicksilver and uttered the requested incantation, the effect was actually rather subtle. The pale moonlight and white starlight upon the night's sky contained in her blade merely appeared to shimmer for a moment and then, with a faint electric crackle, all turn a subtle shade of blue.

"There," the voice told her. "It is no longer an arcane implement. Its blade and all of its powers will now inflict voltaic energy upon any target, which it senses Arrayah has no resistance against. You can hurt her now, Champion."

Suddenly very glad to have stocked up on Quicksilver Bullets, Ophelia let out a deep breath before feeding yet another bullet into the blade and eyeing up more shadows from which to strike Arrayah. While she seemed to be currently in the process of metamorphosing somehow and was still vulnerable Ophelia opted to strike nearly vertically from the floor right in front of Arrayah, so as to impale her elongated torso segment the whole way up. She made sure to do so after Farren's current strike had landed and before his next one would land, again withdrawing the blade as quickly as possible. She would hate for Farren to somehow get a shock from the blade's unrestrained power, but there was hardly even the time to call out to let him know, let alone time for him to react.
Ophelia


As her blade and Arrayah's both disappeared, for a brief moment Ophelia felt her heart sink and an icy shard of despair sink into her very heart, the comforting weight and brilliant light she had grown so used to suddenly leaving her cold and alone in this nightmare of a place. For perhaps the first time since she'd awakened its light Ophelia felt fear grip her; the hairs on the nape of her neck rose as if in anticipatory vigil, her stomach roiled and sank, and her lips quivered and trembled. Her very senses were swallowed by an incomprehensible nothingness the very antithesis of what she had seen when she'd first heard the whispers and become the blade's bearer, and though she could not know how she knew she was certain beyond words that this was what the cold nothingness of distant space felt like. She understood it for only a fleeting microsecond, their position in the grand cosmos, before a tiny mote of light illuminated the darkness... no, not one, but many. More than she could ever count, revealing themselves and shooing away the pernicious cold of true absence. Her heart soared as she saw them, her hope renewed, and the blood that felt like it had frozen in her veins pulsed and thrummed with new life... and she felt it all slip away. How divine... How sublime... she thought as a new weight settled into her hands, far lighter than the Holy Moonlight Sword had ever been.

The first thing she noticed was the moon, of course, almost in the palm of her hand... closer than it had ever been. Whereas before the sword had taken on a sheath of light, like a ray of moonlight just for her, she no longer had to settle for just one. The source of them all was right there, and from it extended unfathomable galaxies darkening to a point of abyssal sharpness she had been very fortunate not to be on the receiving end of... an ability she was eager to put to new use against its former wielder. Let us bring Arrayah peace, for her vigil is over and her purpose fulfilled. Please, tell me how to use your powers? she thought, communing with this blade for the first time as a comforting familiarity filled her.

"You supply it with quicksilver, just as you did with the half you wielded. If you then slash, you will unleash the wave of moonlight you know. If you thrust, the explosion. If you plunge it into a shadow while looking at another shadow, its blade will be projected and emerge there. And if you impale yourself, darkness will exude from you from which many blades will emerge.
It... may have more. It feels as though it has greater potential, but you lack what is needed to unlock it. Our bond is too weak. It may tell you more later."
came the reply.

So prepared, Ophelia's right hand came to the quicksilver tube at her side and she wasted no time in feeding a bullet to the blade, quickly scouting suitable shadows about Arrayah's monstrous form from which to launch an attack--she was quite certain that Arrayah would come for her, enraged as she was, so she quickstepped backwards a full five meters and stabbed the perfected blade into her own shadow on the ground as she arrived while looking at the plentiful shadows arrayed about Arrayah, aiming to launch the attack at approximately a 30 degree angle facing towards her, aiming to have as many points of contact as possible through her elongated body. If she attempted to chase Ophelia down she would most certainly run into the blade and if she stood still it would hit her, which would give Farren plenty of opportunity to renew his assault when he recovered from the shockwave while not risking hitting him at all. She would withdraw the blade as quickly as possible whether it hit or missed and begin jogging towards the direction she might find Torquil in, keeping a healthy distance and recovering her stamina. She kept the quicksilver tube handy and her senses sharp, ready to react to however Farren took advantage of the situation and provide him with support from afar.

Ophelia


Before she'd even had chance to put the Holy Moonlight Sword to rest the moment of opportunity rose, and Ophelia resolved herself to enact her manoeuvre. She watched as Arrayah angled the tip of the Profane Blade downwards and struck with tremendous speed that Farren used his own to counter, and in bringing the blade into reach Ophelia unfurled like a coiled spring released and quickstepped in towards the pair from her standing position, breaking into a sprint as she did. As she travelled she squeezed her right hand until she felt a pop of pressure and the glass comprising the hourglass broke, scattering the scale-sand within as a potent force was released. With time frozen to a standstill for everyone else, Ophelia moved as quickly as physically possibly to get into range--quickstepping if necessary--and touched the luminous tip of her blade to its counterpart as she quickly incanted the words of power: "Gestalt Truth!"

She honed her will to a razor's edge, pouring all of her sense of self and determination into the Holy Moonlight Sword and its counterpart, seeking to wrest control over the opposing half from Arrayah. Arrayah's sense of self was strong to have remained this intact for this long, and the eons, perhaps longer, some unthinkable amount of time that Arrayah had to bond with the opposing weapon had no doubt won its allegiance completely... but Ophelia knew from the Profane Blade's other half that it yearned to be whole--and more than that, that it yearned to be free. Release yourself from Arrayah, who languishes here in the dark between worlds. I am Moon-touched, blessed by the Dream, immortal! All the worlds, waking and nightmare, are mine to traverse--let yourself be bound here no more! she not-quite-thought, her thoughts and desires moving too quickly and too powerfully to be contained or expressed by something as crude as language or thought. Versed in rune-lore as she was, perhaps it was something akin to a rune of her own, forming in this instant as a bridge between two halves... or perhaps it was simply the frenzied and fevered wishes of a half-mad witch falling short. She could not know, but she believed with all of her being that she truly was the rightful wielder of this blessed-and-cursed weapon. Whether it responded in kind she would know only upon the resolution.

In either case, she prepared once again to quickstep away as soon as the deed was done. She would need some distance to prevent Arrayah from simply snatching the weapon back, though given Farren's frozen form about to unleash an attack of considerable power she would have more than enough to contend with. Once time unfroze she would assess the situation again, hopefully with the completed blade in hand.
Ophelia


Ophelia stopped running, figuring that if Arrayah moved to attack her she would leave herself open to Farren's empowered onslaught, and braced herself to enact the manoeuvre that had formed in her mind as soon as she'd thought of the queer hourglass he'd plucked from the shop and its ability to halt time for a few precious seconds. There was truly no point in her swinging her awakened blade at Arrayah, though that thought struck her and something resonated within her mind. Still clutching the hourglass she brought her hand to the top of the luminous blade and pulled it downwards, reverting it to its base form. If Arrayah perceived no ability for her to immediately fuse their weapons perhaps that would goad her into making the mistake that Ophelia needed.

"Get her blade in my reach!" she called out to Farren, though she kept a careful eye on Torquil too. She really had expected Arrayah to go for her rather than him, to seize the opportunity, but she had clearly underestimated Arrayah's intelligence... or the profane blade's. She would have time to feel guilty after they'd done what was necessary, however, and focused on being prepared to execute her plan. The moment Arrayah's half was in reach she'd use the hourglass, reawaken her blade, quickstep into position, and incant the words of power to combine them. The moment they disarmed Arrayah and Ophelia had a weapon she could finally use against this monstrosity the fight would be over, she was sure of it: even if they failed to kill her, they'd have gotten what they came for... and could return with runes better suited when they'd grown more powerful.
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