Lokkir watched Aeris try and grapple with all the information that had suddenly been thrust onto her. She was at least trying to understand the situation she had been forcefully placed in rather than outright rejecting it, and for that at least he was thankful for. It was a far cry from the earlier outburst she had displayed earlier, though he had no right to criticize her. Then again, like him, it wasn’t like she had much choice in the matter of his sex or this marriage.
Still, he gave her the time she needed to process, to air her questions and opinions, to allow her to do whatever actions she may have needed to steady the ground under her. Her dagger was taken with grace before being gently placed by her bedside table, and her disrobing was watched with no comment. The gesture was appreciated on both accounts, these acts of vulnerability and equality, of a hand, held out in kindness. They would also not wont for effect, for indeed it did go a long way in calming himself down and affirming Aeris’ desire for peace in his mind.
Even so, he couldn’t help his eyes from dancing between staring at Aeris’ prosthetic and at anything else to distract him from it. It was rude, and eventually, he would have to get used to it, this he knew, but he still couldn’t help his skin from crawling every time he looked upon it. At least his own prosthetic eye was not something he could ever visibly observe, and something easily missed in passing views of his reflection.
To help distract himself, Lokkir pored over the painting of scars that marred Aeris’ body. No doubt each told a story, of struggles hard fought and deaths narrowly avoided. To be honest, he was surprised that she had so many and was still standing freely. There had been no indication during the day’s proceedings where she seemed troubled by them. A testament to modern Qaeltine medicine, he mused. And to have a soldier so marred yet still wanting to sue for peace. Or perhaps it was because of it? He himself had little to show for his years of fighting, aside from the one received from his own flesh and blood. Being of an aerial unit, battlefields were naught but a canvas for him to destroy and any scars borne from engaging and boarding a Qaeltine airship were mostly ones a soldier did not ride back from.
Lokkir couldn’t help himself from getting lost in his thoughts and only found himself back in the present when he heard his name called. A habit he would have to break in this new age of diplomacy and his name a sound he would have to get used to. It wasn’t so much that he was uncomfortable with it, but more so to do with the fact that it was still a commonly held belief in Hudvalr that names held power, a power reserved only for those closest to a person’s soul. But then again, they were now husband and wife, were they not?
Ah, but there was his mind wandering again. Perhaps it was just exhaustion that made it so hard for him to focus so. Or perhaps it was because these were all worries he himself had tired of giving thought to already? Whatever the reason, he was being rude, and that was a grievous offense to have against his new bride and so he turned his full attention to bear against Aeris to properly listen to what she said.
”First,” Lokkir began, ”I am your husband, as was sworn by the spirits, your gods, and me. Twice, if I remember correctly,” giving a wan smile. ”Whether you’d like to think of me as such or as… otherwise - is your choice, but I would at least ask that you help me maintain the illusion that I am a male. The only people who know of my condition are naturally the king and the queen, the third princess, my footman, and now you, so you understand the importance of this” And as he so often unconsciously did, he pulled the jacket around him tighter and attempted to deepen his voice before continuing.
”And you are right. There are enemies on all sides that greatly wish to see this alliance crumble. I already know of several Qaeltine families that oppose us, meaning you must know of many more besides. It is much the same in Hudvalr, with my eldest sister being the quietest, but most venomous among them. That is why though circumstances deemed that we were the only ones that were able to be wed, I can at least choose to honor our pact and to strive for an honest peace with every strand of my being together with you. I have no wish to make a mockery of this marriage nor of you or Qaeltine anymore than you would of me or Hudvalr, I would wager. That being said, however…” And it was at this point that he could no longer hold her gaze.
”The king, my king, demanded that our first born child still hold Hudvalr blood. He volunteered himself to be the sire, but I would trust that snake as far as I could throw him,” he spat. Surprised at the sudden vitriol, he cleared his throat and attempted to look at Aeris once more only to still feel shame continuing to flood his body, and instead chose to rise from the bed and pace about the room once more, though this time his steps were slow and deliberate.
”So I rejected that notion and instead proposed that at the very least you should be able to choose the man you were to lay with because if I was to trust you with my condition, then I must trust you in all aspects. The king still insisted that the man is of Hudvalr, and on this point, I, unfortunately, must agree with him. Still, it is your choice, and many of the nobles from Hudvalr will be staying for at least the next few days before departing. If there were any that had caught your eye earlier today, let me know and I will be able to make the proper arrangements. Be rest assured that everything will be done with the utmost secrecy.” Of course, Lokkir purposefully didn’t mention how it would be done so. After all, sorceries on the mind was one of the most severe crimes in Hudvalr, punishable by death. Naturally, that meant that it was one of the royal family’s most powerful tools and one of their most well-kept secrets. There was another reason all their dragons were brought here, after all.
Lokkir let a pregnant pause sit between them to allow Aeris time to process everything she had just heard before continuing. "I understand that it is a heavy choice and I would not begrudge you if you took some time to think on the prospect, though I doubt patience from either side will last long. At least in Hudvalr, most will likely only be able to wait until the end of the year before talk gets too suspicious. After our first child, however, whether they be boy or girl, you are free to choose whatever man or woman you’d like to lay with after. There have been elements in Hudvalr that are pushing for heirs to be chosen or be the firstborn regardless of gender, though support of the former is more popular than the latter, and seeing as Qaeltine currently has a queen regent I see little issue there. The king will be adamant that our child be male of course, but by the time they're born, we will hopefully have built enough of a power base that he cannot so easily oppose us, and that by the time our child comes of age the reforms will have already been taking place. I’m also not so foolish as to believe that I would be able to satisfy your every urge, nor do I truly believe myself able."
"Of course. Of course, there is… well, there is another, ah,” he fumbled, pausing to take a breath to steady himself before the words out of his mouth.
”There is another option that I had not given voice to anyone but you as of this moment, and that is that I could bear our child.” He stopped for just moment, allowing himself to digest the words he had just uttered. He soon, however, forced himself to barrel through the rest now that the idea had been given shape outside of his thoughts and knew that if he had hesitated even a moment longer his tongue would be forever lost to him.
”I would prefer it to be either of your brothers and only if you can swear that they too can keep this secret," his words and pace quickening with every step. "It would also be much more difficult to hide my pregnancy. I would prefer this to be our very last option, but if the thought of laying with another man truly displeases you so, or if you take too long to deliberate, I am willing to do whatever needs to be done to ensure the security of this alliance.”
Malice
Horangi
