Avatar of Warrior in the Shadows
  • Last Seen: 12 mos ago
  • Old Guild Username: Warrior in the Shadows
  • Joined: 10 yrs ago
  • Posts: 479 (0.13 / day)
  • VMs: 0
  • Username history
    1. Warrior in the Shadows 10 yrs ago

Status

Recent Statuses

9 yrs ago
Some day, I'm probably gonna take up smoking because of my job. Or heavy drinking.
9 yrs ago
I can do better. I will do better.
1 like
9 yrs ago
Just kidding, I am going clubbing. Every. Flipping. Weekend.
3 likes
9 yrs ago
Never ever going clubbing again.
3 likes
9 yrs ago
WHEW. GOT A HOT DATE ON JULY 4TH.

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Most Recent Posts

Oh yeah, I definitely have an idea for a character. Either police or a private investigator. SO count me interested.
Yes! I have a character just for the job!
Yes, I'm very interested in this. I'll probably have an ex-legionnaire merc.
Well, you have me interested.
Hugh felt the rain making his skin tender to the touch, turning it pink and wrinkly. He felt the drips of water collecting in his hair and dripping down on his face. The water no longer caused him to shiver, as he stood there with Sana. He felt the desperation of having to deal with these visions he would suffer, putting just that much of a distance from Sana and him. He remembered the trouble of waking up in night sweats from nightmares he could not escape fast enough.

He would have done anything to be free from his burdened mind just to have a full relationship with Sana and live as if so much bad hadn't happened. He might always feel this separation, but it was something he would never stop fighting to make sure him and Sana were together.

It was one thing to fight the demons that came to cause physical harm, but when they came from Hugh's mind and put him in his own hell, it was not such a straightforward battle.

Her words would sting him like thousands of needles. He just wished that they didn't have to fight through this void. He didn't want her to live in the shadow of his past, but he hadn't chosen everything that had happened to him; it had just all happened whether or not he wanted it. All he could do was decide what to do with the time that was given.

It wouldn't take much deliberation to figure out what to do with that time; he wanted to spend it with Sana, even if there was this burden he brought. He would continue to fight it off. Though it affected his habits; heavy drinking, to the point where it didn't affect him anymore and he didn't even feel a buzz from amounts of alcohol that would knock out other people. That in itself was a strange blessing. He had taken up drinking a long time ago, before suffering from his downfalls.

Smoking had been another habit that helped him cope, but he smoked for the enjoyment, not just to blot out the stress. If he did more things to blot out the pain, he would be weak. He needed to deal with it and face it head on.

Hugh squeezed her body tight against his own, absorbing everything she said. All that she said was true, but he loved her deeply and cared for her. He wasn't going to let a stupid thing like nightmares from the past keep him from her side.

There was nothing more he could say as she held herself against him. He wanted her to know just by his actions that he loved her and that he would do what ever it took to fight past his demons. In that moment, there was a pain in Sana that Hugh didn't know how to heal.

When she pulled herself away, she dropped a huge surprise on him; the news that Ariana was actually related to her. He couldn't help but agree with her about how they couldn't force Ariana to look at them as parents. He didn't want her to see them as parents either, as it was cruel to her.

"I'm with you on that. She should know who you are to her." He said, nodding, and showing his agreement.
Hugh nodded along with everything Sana said, uncertain how to respond, but letting her know constantly that he was listening. He was hard focusing his mind on everything she said, so much so that when she finally was finished he was slightly tongue tied. He couldn't help but grin at when she told him she loved him, as he was hoping to say the words first. The pleasure had been swiftly taken from him, but he was by no means angry. On the contrary, he felt pride.

However, at her other words, pertaining to her fears his facial expressions sunk to be more sullen. It was a roller coaster of facial expressions for him.

It's never easy to move on from a love of the past, like a wife one raised children with, but Hugh had done it long ago. However, there was something people never truly understood if they hadn't someone like that of their own before. Hugh would always love his former wife, but it was hard to explain to someone that took it as them being a second love. He had grown at peace with the fact that he had lost her and didn't wish her back in his arms again, choosing instead to live and move forward.

What could it be said of a man whom did not love their wife after she passed on? Only ill things could be presumed from a man such as that, and Hugh was not that man. Hugh had always loved his former wife, but love was not a finite resource. There was no limit to how much Hugh could love. It might be said that he still loved his wife but let her go and allowed her memory to be at rest. He wasn't holding on to her, only leaving it be, better having lost and loved than to have never loved at all.

He had never sought out a replacement or a new flavor, nor did he ever expect to find a girl like Sana. All he sought was to live, to heal, and even preserve by his very existence those he had lost. He was the memory of another time and he was what kept them all alive.

"I love you." He finally said, breaking his silence. "You're not a replacement. I'm not holding you to any standard." With a smile coming across his face, he finally said, "I love you for you, as you are. Not for what someone else was or someone else means to me. I love you for you."

Finally a more serious look came across his face as he put his hand to the back of his own head and scratched it, looking downward. "No one can replace my wife, no one ever will." He looked into her eyes, "I'm never going to ask that of you. I've never, and never will ask that of anyone to replace her." Giving a sigh, Hugh said "You're irreplaceable. You could never be a replacement. You're so beautifully unique."

"We don't need to get a family and settle down to a peaceful existence. We might even die adventuring. Maybe Ariana will grow up dropping bodies and kicking ass." He sighed, a small sheepish smile appearing across his face. "I'm glad I'm here with you. I wouldn't have it any other way." He didn't know what else to say. He couldn't respond to her every concern, he could just hope that showing his love and affection for her everyday was enough.
The rain was so heavy, that Hugh kept having to blink his eyes to get it out. He would feel a small shiver creep up his spine every now and then, causing him to shudder a small bit. He would only shake off the cold and go back to normal as though the cold didn't affect him. The trick to mastering the cold was to understand that you would never feel comfortable with it, especially when wet. Hugh learned a long time ago to embrace discomfort.

Hugh's smile suddenly turned to a look of worry as Sana cringed in pain at his touch. He felt stupid, "No, I didn't-" Before he could say anything, she had grabbed his hand and placed it on the other side of her face, bringing the smile back to grace his features.

Her words made him laugh, slightly squinting his eyes as he chuckled. His laughter ceased when he felt the soothing touch of her hand against his face. He would have formed a smile, if not for her words "I'm scared". "What?" He said, a look of concern on his face. His face soon became very glum and his attitude sullen, as he took in her answer.

"Of you."

It made him feel like he got kicked in the stomach. It was also confusing. There she was, not shying from his touch, and even cupping his face with her hand, but she said he scared her.

His eyes trailed downwards as he thought on this concept, thinking back to the previous days. He was confused on what had brought about this. He knew she had seen his moment of terror during the fight that had taken so much of his blood. Perhaps that was it. Perhaps it was for the child Arianna's sake, that he would not be good to her. He didn't understand, because he would take care of the little one with the tender loving care of a father whenever they returned to her.

"How do I frighten you?" He said, stepping closer to her, a hair's touch from her. All he knew was that he needed to understand this and listening was the answer.
Hugh nodded to Fiona, his attention being diverted towards the sky, observing the thick bulbous clouds forming, all a dark gray that made the day turn darker. The light was slowly fading and drops began to fall overhead.

Hugh felt them slowly picking up the pace, as the downpour began to get stronger and stronger. Their vision was soon hindered by the rain as it became so thick, that everyone was sopping wet within minutes. Hugh simply stared at the ground, watching the path as they journeyed further ahead.

He always felt it strangely therapeutic to stand in the rain as it washed over him. Their journey was soon aided by a song and then a beam of light ahead of them. It was causing Hugh to develop tunnel vision, as he felt slightly warmer at the thought that Sana would be there waiting for them all.

He was starting to care less and less about the fact that they were having a little bit of trouble speaking to each other, or whatever this distant feeling was. He just wanted to look on her face again and smile. He just wanted to take in her features and listen to her voice as she spoke and sang.

As their journey towards the light grew shorter, Hugh could make out the form guiding them. His features seemed to relax the closer they got, he pushing forward at a steady pace. He felt a little nip and a shiver from the cold every now and then, but he would just shake it off and it wouldn't bother him until the next slight shiver.

Finally, they came to a halt as so did the singing and the light, and Sana spoke, her words comforting to them all.

There Hugh sat upright on Rodger, the rain soaking both of them. He kept his gaze on Sana as she gave him a smile that made him happier. This was the sincere smile he liked. He never could take a fake smile, and this was no fake smile.

Hugh patted Rodger's neck, "Thank you again, Rodger." He slipped off the horse, landing with a splash and a thud, slightly bending his knees. He turned away from his horse to face Sana, a calm look on his face.

For a moment he smiled, but it faded as he started to think on the pain she was going through. She had lost everything; Hugh knew the feeling far too well. He would never wish that on anyone.

He had never known his parents, or even if he had them. He only knew the comradeship of the order, but it had been taken from him in an instant. His only family. When he thought he found refuge and a peaceful life somewhere else, that was also taken from him.

He knew pain and desperation more than the average person should, and had lived a life that felt like a curse; a curse to relive all the pain over and over again, like some benevolent god's sick joke.

He didn't want Sana to feel that. He didn't want her to go through that, but it was too late. There she was, standing before him, showing him a sincere smile and just how strong she was.

"I..." He stopped, his heart slightly pounding as he was so unsure how to go about this. "I'm sorry..." He started, pausing to gather more words. "I'm so sorry you had to go through losing everything." Sighing, a sullen glum look across his face as he reflected on how he had completely missed how she had told him yesterday about her family dying. "I'm so sorry I said nothing yesterday. That's unforgivable and I should have known better than to have left it in the dust, and just..." Pausing, his face turning more sullen and depressed looking, "...ignored your pain."

Hugh stepped forward, putting his hand to her face and gently tracing the scars across her cheek and neck. "You're beautiful." He said, a content smile suddenly appearing on his face.
Well, you can color me interested.
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