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Hey there, I'm Wolvena!
So, after being away from the roleplay world for a while, I'm ready to jump back in. I don't do many 1 on 1's because I tend to struggle to keep it going after a little bit. I normally go with group rps on the smaller side, just because I tend to get a bit lost in larger ones. My go-to genres are animal(mostly wolves), anime, sci-fi, and fantasy, though I'm always up to give something new a try.

Location: Texas
Addictions: Minty chocolate, Wolves, Supernatural Tv Show, Anime
Favorite Quotes:
Even if you think you're alone, even if you think
there's no one else to listen to you. You're not alone.

You are Not making mistakes,
you are Not losing.
You are either Winning or Learning!

Most Recent Posts

Esme Stirling

Esme watched Dean as he processed the words that had spilled out of her mouth from her heart. She could see and feel just how overwhelmed he was with everything going through his mind. He caught her off guard when he took her face into his hands, brushing back her hair with his fingers, then turned her towards the building. A small gasp escaped her lips when her back connected with the brick of the building. She watched him as he leaned in and kissed her. It was the one thing she never thought she’d feel again, and she melted into it, not being able to push him away.

Her eyes fluttered close as she returned it, bringing her hands to rest on his arms, her breath catching in her throat as he pressed his body against hers. She could feel all the emotion flowing through his kiss, and that he wanted her to forgive herself as he had forgiven her. She also knew this would be the last kiss she would ever receive from Dean. This was their closure of being with each other one more time. Esme brought her hands to his face, as a tear escaped each of her closed eyes and landed on his hands as she gave a small whimper of her own.

Her eyes shot open at Mika’s voice and as he abruptly pulled away from the kiss. Her eyes landed on Mika as she yelled, all her emotions pouring off her and Esme was feeling it all. She could feel it building before Mika balled up her fist and punched Dean in the face, which caused her to flinch. She saw it all happen in slow motion, starting with the punch to Dean falling to the ground. “Mika…. I……” she couldn’t finish what she wanted to say as she stormed off. She looked at Natalia as she scolded them. She winced, knowing that the woman was right.

Esme’s arms dropped to her sides as Natalia’s tone of disappointment stabbed her heart. When Natalia yelled at Dean and flipped him off as she went after Mika, Esme turned into the wall. “Hellfire!” she mumbled as she slammed the side of her fist against the wall and closed her eyes tight. She couldn’t call after Natalia as Dean had. She had no right to. She had fallen weak against her emotions and let them get the better of her and take control. She opened her eyes and turned back to Dean as she threw up his hands, and saw his eye swelling along with his apologetic look.

She gave her own look in silence to say he had nothing to apologize for. At his gesture to follow him, she did and remained silent with her hands in her jacket pockets, keeping her gaze averted from him. Esme’s eyes went to his phone when he received the text. When he growled and placed the phone against his forehead, she knew it was bad. She looked over at him and shook her head softly in response to driving her to the motel. “It’s alright, Dean….. You don’t have to. Just worry about taking care of her….. And getting her to calm down….. I can get there.” She gave a small smile as she picked up her pace to stay with him. She fought the urge to reach out and touch his arm to calm him.
Esme Stirling

Esme had heard Dean’s words as she stepped away from him, and they slightly lifted the weight on her heart. She almost missed him reaching out to her to pull her to him. She noticed him freeze and flinch when she moved away from him, then shoved his hands into his jacket. Even as she had spoken, she could see he didn’t know what to do with himself just from her stepping away and spilling her heart out to him. When he turned and met her gaze, she noticed his eyes softened and he went into thought. When he stepped towards her, she tried to step back but was frozen in place.

Esme’s eyes closed as if on their own as he brushed away her tears, then pulled her into a tight hug. She hesitated for a moment before wrapping her arms around him, not being able to fight it anymore. As he hugged her, apologized, and kissed the top of her head, she tightened her hug and gripped his jacket tightly. As Dean spoke, she closed her eyes tighter, listening to every word, and it tore at her heart, making it ache even more. When Dean mentioned not thinking about anyone telling her about his death, she tensed up as she remembered the call. She could still remember it like it was yesterday.

The news had frozen her in place and couldn’t breathe, and she had barely gotten out the words ‘No, he can’t be’ before she dropped her phone and fell to her knees in a sobbing mess. Esme opened her eyes when he sniffled, then listened to his next words. She tried to shake her head but couldn’t with the way he was holding it. “But I…..” she started, before he pulled her face from his chest. She stared into his eyes as he stared into hers. His words hit her hard. Mostly, the part about how she left was one of the worst nights of his life. Even if he forgave her for it, she couldn’t forgive herself and wasn’t sure if she ever would.

She had run away from the best thing in her life, all because it scared her and was afraid she wouldn’t find answers to her father's death, that she didn’t want to drag Dean into. Esme looked up at Dean with tear-filled eyes that held sorrow, pain, regret, and shame. “I…… I honestly don’t know how…… You can forgive me.” she stammered. “That was one of the…… Worst things I could have done to you…… Everything was so good between us. Then I…… Up and leave because I was……. Scared.” She dropped her gaze in shame to his shoulder, feeling a fresh wave of emotion hit her. She fought hard against them, not wanting them to take her over, the effort still making her shake. “I still can’t for…. Forgive myself for leaving and only leaving a note behind.”

Little did they know, Cupid was still sitting on the roof of Rusty’s in tears as he watched Dean and Esme. Notching an arrow in his bow, he pulled it back, taking careful aim at the two below as they embraced each other and talked. Adjusting his aim, he pointed his arrow at Esme and let it loose, his arrow hitting his intended target. A soft melody began to play after the arrow hit Esme, steadily growing louder by the second.

Esme tensed up when she heard the melody begin to play, looking around for its source but couldn’t find it. She closed her eyes, gripping Dean’s jacket tighter as she fought against the urge to sing to him. No, I don’t want to do this she thought to herself. The more she fought against it, the stronger it became and soon started to hum along with the melody against her will. Her gaze slowly lifted to meet his, her eyes turning soft as she sang to him. “Turn down the lights. Turn down the bed. Turn down these voices inside my head.” As she sang, she released her grip on his jacket and caressed his cheek before pulling away from him and stepping back.

“Lay down with me, tell me no lies. Just hold me close, don't patronize, don't patronize me.” She closed her eyes, turned and walked away as she continued to sing as she brought her hands up to her chest. “'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't.” She could feel tears welling up in her eyes as she sang to Dean, still not able to fight against the words forming and pouring out of her mouth. “Here in the dark, in these final hours. I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power.” She turned back towards him, opening her eyes and dropping her head as she continued.

“But you won't, no you won't. 'Cause I can't make you love me…... If you don't…….” Esme wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes again, tears sliding down her cheeks. “I'll close my eyes, then I won't see. The love you don't feel…. When you're holding me. Morning will come and I'll do what's right, Just give me till then to give up this fight….And I will give up this fight.” Esme opened her eyes and took a couple of steps towards him, closing the gap and taking his hand in both of hers, looking at their hands. “'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't. Here in the dark, in these final hours. I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power.”

She looked up into his eyes, with her tear filled ones as more tears slid down her cheeks. “But you won't, no you won't. 'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't…….” She hummed along with the end of the music and caressed his cheek one last time. Gasping for air, after the song finally ended. Esme released his hand and put some space between them, then turned her head away, dropping her gaze to the ground. “I…… I’m sorry.” she mumbled through her tears. She brought a hand up and wiped away her tears with a sniffle and shaky sigh. “I couldn’t fight it.” She had done the same thing he had done to her, sang out her hidden truth and couldn’t stop from doing it. She brought her arms around herself, placing her hands on her elbows before slowly looking back at him.
Esme Stirling

Esme smiled more as she felt Dean’s hand against her thigh, then felt his thumb run back and forth along it. She sighed softly, holding back a shiver from his touch as she drove out of the parking lot and onto the road. Then she placed her hand on his and gave it a gentle squeeze as she kept her eyes on the road. When they pulled into the drive thru, she gave a little laugh at his comment. “I do every now and then.” she told him with a grin. When he leaned over her, she leaned back in the seat a little, then smiled at the older woman that came to the window.

She looked at Dean as he leaned his ear against her chest and ordered their food, then looked back at the older woman, watching her face. Her look brought a warm smile to Esme’s lips. When she stepped away from the window, she looked back at Dean, seeing him lean up at her with a sweet smile. “Is that really such a bad thing?” she asked with a sweet smile at his pouting. “Is it really that bad if a few people see your softer side?” She looked down and took his hand in both of hers and gave it a squeeze. She then turned her hands and rested the back of his hand in her left palm, then set her right on top of his before sliding her hand up, letting her fingers trace over his hand. “Like I said earlier. I like this side of you.” As she spoke, she looked up and smiled sweetly at him.

Sam Winchester

Sam looked at Castiel and gave a nod to his words. “I’m prepared for whatever might happen, Cas.” he started. He knew that there were many things that could happen while Madison was still learning how to exist among humans. He sighed heavily as Castiel spoke a truth about himself. It was true, he did tend to get attached quickly to people. “I know you don’t want to take the help or even ask for it, but I’m sticking around, anyway. I can only imagine how she would react if I were suddenly out of the picture.” Sam said, looking at the table.

“It wasn’t that easy earning her trust. It took her almost losing control in the diner and talking her through it for me to earn it, and showing her I was there for her and not going to kill her.” The memory of the moment flashed before his eyes, almost as if it were happening all over again. He shook the memory from his mind and looked back at Castiel, trying to drive home that he planned on sticking around to help with Madison whether or not he asked.
Esme Stirling

Esme wiped the tears from her face as she walked across the lot. With the distance forming between her and the bar, she had hoped the pain in her chest and the emotions would die down, but they hadn’t. They felt stronger than ever, as if some force was keeping them on the surface and not letting them recede back into the depths where she kept them. She clutched her chest with her right hand and her head with her left as another memory forced itself on her and flashed before her eyes. The memory was of them coming back from a case involving vampires. Both were pretty battered and had bleeding wounds.

They practically had to carry each other into the hotel room they were staying in. Once in and mostly collected, they tended to each other's injuries and talked to stay coherent and conscious to bypass the threats of concussions. Being so tired, they climbed onto the bed, not even bothering to change clothes or get cleaned up, and curled up together. Dean held her close to his chest and kissed her on top of her head and stroked her hair while she snuggled into him and tangled her legs up in his. The memory faded after she kissed him sweetly and he returned the kiss and they passed out in each other's arms.

Esme gasped for air as the memory released its hold on her and she staggered forward, almost falling to her knees. The memory was so vivid, as if she were there reliving it. She released her head and wiped away the fresh tears that escaped her eyes. That’s when she heard his voice ring out across the parking lot. He had followed her yet again. She took in a shaky breath and closed her eyes briefly. By the time she opened her eyes, Dean had closed the gap between them and grabbed her arm. When he spun her to face him, a gasp escaped her lips. Esme kept her gaze on the gravel beneath their feet.

She couldn’t look up into his tear-filled eyes for fear of crying more herself. She closed her eyes tightly as he spoke to her, asking her not to leave, and he didn’t know what was happening to him. She wasn’t planning on leaving, she just needed to get out of the bar and away from it all. Then again, she couldn’t leave without hitchhiking, anyway. As Dean continued to hold on to her arm, then placed it on her shoulder to turn her more to him, she opened her eyes and her gaze slowly traveled upwards and stopped on his shoulder, still not being able to look at his face.

“Talk to you.” she whispered softly. She gripped her chest more as her shaking became more visible and her emotions got stronger. How could she bring herself to talk to him about what she was afraid to admit to herself? She took in a shaky breath and slowly let it out. “After you pouring out your hidden truths…… It’s hard to.” she admitted in a whisperer. “Most of this night I’ve been reliving our time together because of the memories that have been coming to me. I’ve relived the day I left and the day I found out you had died.” She choked back a sob that tried to escape her and she turned slightly away from him.

“I…… I regret the way I left that day. I knew there was a better way, but I was too afraid to confront you with why I was leaving. I couldn’t look into your face and see the hurt that my words would cause.” she closed her eyes, a tear slid down her cheek as the memory hit her again. She shook her head to keep it from overtaking her. Esme opened her eyes again, blinking away the other tears. “I know that saying I’m sorry won’t take back the pain I’ve caused you or make up for my actions, but I am so very sorry. I don’t even expect you to forgive me for it.” She sighed heavily and took a few steps back from him.

“When I heard you had died, everything we shared and lost hit me like a ton of bricks.” she said as a shiver ran through her body. She wrapped her arms around herself almost in an attempt to stop herself from shaking. She finally lifted her gaze, her blue eyes meeting his green. “That day, I felt more alone than I ever have and I completely shut down and shut out the world around me.” she admitted to him. “I cut myself off from everyone and everything for weeks and……” she trailed off as she remembered everything after that day, then stepped back even further from him as she continued to look into his eyes. She watched him to see how her confession would hit him. She was even surprised that she had even told him about it all.
Esme Stirling

Esme had followed the three into the bar silently taking in the atmosphere, it was crowded but there was still room to move about with everyone in their own little groups. She softly sighed, already starting to feel herself coming down from everything just hearing the sounds within the bar. Her attention was pulled to Jess as she came up to Dean and Mika, she seemed quite excited to see them. Esme listened as she spoke to them, her eyebrows raising slightly at the mention of karaoke. As much as she loved getting in on karaoke, she was going to pass up on it tonight for fear of singing one out of her control. She just wanted to get a few drinks down her, talk a bit, and play some pool tonight.

After sitting down with the three and getting some alcohol in her, she started to have a pretty good time. Her shoulders had relaxed and she could even laugh and carry on a decent conversation with all three of them. It somewhat surprised her how smoothly it was going and how much better it seemed to be, but there came a point where she needed some time to herself. So, she politely excused herself and went to go play some pool. As she played, she noticed Dean would look over and see if she was still there. She figured to make sure she hadn’t run off. She had promised him she would stay, but it seemed he still thought she would run.

A few times, she gave him a small, warm smile when he stared over at her. Esme played against several people in the bar and happily took the cash they had set on the table as a bet. When Jess made her announcement for karaoke, Esme was just finishing up a game and looked up briefly before going back to the game. When the crowd cheered, she didn’t look up from the table. She was concentrating on sinking her shot. After sinking the shot, she went to the next, then the next. By the time the music started, she was finishing up the game. “Eight ball, corner pocket.” she called, pointing to the pocket with her cue stick. She took the shot and made it, much to the disappointment of her opponent.

She took the money off the table and put it in her pocket, then looked to the stage to see who would be singing. Her eyes widened a little, not expecting to see Dean on the stage. She hoped this song was of his own accord and that he was looking at Mika and not her. But as he sang, and she heard the words, she realized he was forced into singing and to her once again. He was also staring at her and not Mika. The words he sang were triggering memories of their time together she had been holding back. She set the cue stick down and walked away from the table, her right hand coming to rest on her chest as she watched him.

She fought against the rising emotions, not just what she felt from Dean, but her own as well. His begging for help tore at her heart, and she closed her eyes as she saw his tear and fought against her own. “Breathe Esme. Just breathe.” she whispered to herself as she felt that all too familiar ache. No matter how much she tried to fight it, she couldn’t stop the emotions from building. She still couldn’t understand what was causing this and why they were enjoying torturing them so much. She couldn’t even drown out his words as it became harder to breathe. They filled her heart and her soul, causing her to be filled to the breaking point with both of their emotions.

She opened her eyes and looked at Dean, tears now spilling from them and sliding down her cheeks. She still loved him, and couldn’t deny it even though she had tried to shove it down and lock it away, but his words had brought it back to the surface. The regret she had from leaving him had also been brought to the surface. She started to tremble from the effort of holding everything back, especially the urge to run up on the stage and hug him tightly to let him know it’d be okay because she knew she shouldn’t. “Hold it together woman.” she shakily whispered to herself.

His words continued to pull at her heartstrings, and she couldn't take much more, she could feel herself buckling under the heaviness of his words knowing they were from his heart. Esme blinked the tears from her eyes to clear her blurred vision, not being able to pull her gaze from his as he continued. This hurt her heart so much, she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs to release the pain, but she held it in, her trembling becoming shaking. She was close to completely losing it when Dean broke off, the tears in his eyes tore at her more. She tried to form words, but she couldn’t get anything to come forth, she was lost in the emotions far too deep.

She was thankful when the music finally died off and the lights went back to normal, signaling the song was over. It wasn’t until the clapping started, she felt she could move, but was still having trouble catching her breath. The moment Dean wiped his face, she took the opportunity to dash for the door. His song had definitely done a number on her this time. Memories of their happiest times flashed before her eyes as she ran for the door. She was nearing full breakdown mode, which was a side of her she had never let him see. She pushed past several people, tripping and almost falling a couple of times before she reached the door and burst through it.

Esme forced herself to take a deep breath of the cool air before making her way across the parking lot and running a shaky hand through her hair. “I can’t keep doing this to myself.” she mumbled.
Esme Stirling

Esme lifted her chin from her arms as Dean made his way around the car and to the passenger side. She turned so she could watch him, keeping a serious look on her face as she watched him think about her question and watch her face. When she saw him smirk, she tried her hardest not to smirk as well. As Dean spoke, she nodded, looking as if she were thinking about his words. She was still fighting the smirk that threatened to show itself. As he raised his eyebrows, she put a finger to lips and tapped it against them. “Hmm, that is something to think about.” she said thoughtfully.

Esme let her hand drop before getting into the car and shutting her door, then put the key into the ignition. Once he got into the car, she gave the key a turn and started the car. When she first arrived, she hadn’t intended to stay this long, but now she really couldn’t bring herself to leave. She was enjoying Dean’s company far too much and didn’t want to leave. She also knew that her arrival was unexpected to everyone, and there was no way they could have planned for her to be there or even stay. Esme smiled inwardly at the thought of actually staying for a while and getting to spend more time with Dean. Pulling herself from the thought, she looked over at Dean and gave him a warm and sweet smile. She then pulled out of the parking space and out of the parking lot.

Sam Winchester

Sam watched Madison, seeing how tired she had become after all the exercises she had done. He gave her a hug back when she hugged him and watched her walk to the bedroom. His attention went back to Castiel, noticing his raised eyebrow and then listed as he spoke to him. Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair as Castiel spoke about Madison and nodded. When he took a seat and offered him a seat, Sam sat in the chair across from him. “Listen Cas, I know you pretty much have this handled, but you don’t have to do this alone.” Sam started. “Dean and I both gave our word that we would do what we could for Madison. I don’t plan on going back on that.”

Sam looked at Castiel to see if he was getting through to him. “It’s not hard to see that she is a powerful force and more than we have ever dealt with, but that doesn't mean I’m going to run from this. I’m going to see this through and make sure nothing happens to her.” he told Castiel.
Esme Stirling

Esme tried to not make eye contact with anyone after she got out of Mika’s car. She even tried to not watch Dean as he made his way to the door of Rusty’s, but when she felt his eyes on her, she looked up, meeting his gaze. She felt a little uncomfortable with the way he was looking at her, but could see that he was remembering something. What it was, she couldn’t be sure, but figured it had to be something about them from their time together. She dropped her gaze to the ground as he chewed on his lip, trying to keep from going down memory lane herself.

She couldn’t let herself get lost in the memories, not now. Even if she had dwelled on them not too long ago and after hearing of his death. If she allowed herself to dwell on them right now, she would surely become more of a mess than she already was. She needed to keep herself as calm as she could, even if it was hard to do. After a moment, she lifted her gaze just as Dean smiled warmly at her, which she gave a small one in return. When he went to Mika, she looked at the door of the bar as she waited for everyone to get ready to go inside.

She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair, hoping that their time here wouldn’t turn into a complete disaster and would go smoothly. Then again, she knew it was a lot to ask for with everything that had gone on the last few days, but she could still dream about it going smoothly for all their sakes. Here lately, none of them had caught a break from everything raining down on them. A slight break would actually be nice.
@Vampiretwilight @LostDestiny


Bella continued to walk down the halls with her escort, rubbing her sore wrists, happy to have them free of the bindings. She mentally scolded herself for being so stupid as to let herself get kidnapped and having to be saved. She stared at the floor as she walked, feeling ashamed and knowing she should have known better. When she heard her father's voice, she flinched and didn’t want to meet his gaze. Bella finally looked and saw her father’s face. Seeing him tearing up caused her to do the same, and she went to him, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug and burying her face in his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, father.” she whispered in a tear filled voice. She lifted her head slightly from her fathers shoulder at the sound of approaching footsteps, seeing Annalise as she called her name. When she was close enough, Bella grabbed Annalise by the arm and pulled her into the hug and wrapped her arms around her father and sister. Now feeling safe and the adrenaline wearing off, she trembled in their embrace.
Esme Stirling

Esme watched as she pulled away, taking in his expression and his emotions. She knew her kisses had tempted him to turn and go back into the room with her, but his control not to go back made her smile. If she was honest with herself, she was half tempted to go back as well. After her stomach had growled, she watched him as he looked down and spoke, nodding at his words and giving a small laugh at his eye roll. “I would imagine he would be.” She had only spent a little time around Sam, but could somewhat tell what kind of person he was. A strong, brooding type of guy.

When Dean ran his palm down her face and patted it, she closed her eyes for a moment. She thought about what he said about Castiel having a room for him. A thought came to her mind about it and she held back a laugh and refrained from bringing it up. She then stepped to the side and unlocked the car door. “Then let's get going before my stomach yells at us again.” she said, opening the car door. “But I have one question before we set off.” She crossed her arms over the top of the door as she looked at him, a serious look on her face.

“If Castiel has a room for you, Sam, and Madison, where does that leave me? Do I bunk with Madison or am I on a couch?” She asked as seriously as she could, trying to make him think it was a concern for her, when in reality it was a joke. She rested her chin on her arms as she waited for his answer.

Sam Winchester

Sam looked away from Madison and back at Castiel, seeing that he was thinking about the same thing he was about the two. He sighed inwardly at Esme becoming a distraction for Dean again, even though it would be good to have her around for Madison. Sam could only nod as Castiel muttered, it was true, that they could only hope. He then turned his attention back to Madison as she pulled away from him, watching her scan his eyes. He then watched as she ran over to the table to show him what she had been working on. He raised a brow when she picked up the knife.

He was about to step forward when she plunged it into her hand, but Castiel stopped him by holding up his hand. Sam looked back at Madison after Castiel shook his hand. Sam stood there and watched as her eyes lit up and a soft wind blew around the room, and readied himself for something to happen as Castiel stepped up to her, pulling the knife from her hand. When nothing happened, he released the breath he had been holding as her hand healed and she caused the knife to stab into the table. Sam returned Madison's smile when she turned to face him and spoke and nodded.

“You’re right, it is a start.” he said walking closer to the table as she moved the money. “As long as you prevent yourself from exploding, that’s something.” He placed a hand on her shoulder and with a warm smile. “Don’t worry too much about any of us getting attacked right now. Just keep focusing on keeping control of yourself for now. That’s pretty important right now.”

Bella kept her head down as Peren spoke. She knew he was right in what he said. When he played the tune, she lifted her head and saw the Pegasus burst from the clouds above them. She watched as it flew down and landed near them, then took Peren’s offered hand and stood with his help, then climbed on the Pegasus’s back with his help. Once Peren was on with her, she wrapped her arms around his waist at his request and held on. As they flew, she focused on his back and the surrounding clouds, not being able to bring herself to look down. When they landed, she thanked Peren and slid from the Pegasus’s back, and headed into the castle with a few guards as her escorts.

She knew she looked rough after everything that happened when Ironwolf kidnapped her, but she was too tired and too sore to care too much about it at the moment. She just wanted to get out of her ripped dress and get clean, then possibly go to bed after everything. But she had a feeling the only thing she’d be able to do was get cleaned up and into a new dress with everything going on.
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