writingrin

The Deposed Dilemma

That was another thing, his own eyes were so lovely. In the right light they were a beautiful gold color. But just now they were warm caramel. His body relaxed, his arms swept her up, and his face lowered to hers... Just as she'd desired.

She kissed him warmly, closing her eyes. Her arms closed around his neck and before he pulled away she stood on her tiptoes to get closer, sinking back down as he pulled away. Their lips parted as softly as they'd met but his face stayed close. For a few seconds, they exchanged breaths.

Then Ferona found her hand in his and Berek turning shy. He didn't finish his statement but she suddenly clued in to what he meant. Not just that he was glad to have her here... But would she /stay/ here, with him? He'd been getting at it all day, she realized. It scared her a little. For how long? Forever? She wanted to pull away. But that was the fear talking! What she really wanted to do WAS stay, just like this. She had no real plans of leaving.

"I--" she nodded, trying to look more certain than she felt. She squeezed his hand and his shoulder. "I'm glad to be here with you, too." That much was true.

The Deposed Dilemma

Ferona was out of it for most of the trip. She'd calmed down at first but the longer it took them to get home, the more her thoughts turned inward. She didn't come back to herself until he was wrapping his cloak around her. That felt so good and comforting, it was the perfect thing to do just then. She sucked in a bracing breath and nodded.

And although she hadn't been thinking about leaving or staying, she was most definitely thinking about staying now. She didn't quite catch the importance of what he was saying to her, but she nodded eagerly enough.

He was still holding on to the ends of the cloak, standing close, shaking. Her face was tilted up to his, he was looking at her in that way again... Like she was precious. "It's okay," she replied, soothing him back. He was so strong... but so sweet. She really loved that about him. She stretched her arms up to rest on his shoulders and then she looked at him earnestly, looked at his lips, looked back into his eyes. "Berek..."

The Deposed Dilemma

Ferona's face turned to his as he burst out, wide-eyed, pleading. She shrank back further as he threw the punch and fell to the ground upon being suddenly released. "Berek..." she choked. And then he was there, lightly touching her cheek, her arm. She burst into tears and shook her head, still clutching the scarf. She used it to wipe her eyes and held out her hand. "Help me up. Let's go home..."

As soon as he did, she turned and buried her face into Rose's neck and kind of hid behind her and Berek as they got away from all the watchers. But once they passed a bend in the road she let go and turned to him and collided with him in a tight hug, shaking.

The Deposed Dilemma

"Okay, thanks," she said to the smith as he left.

They were putting all the foodstuffs into Rose's saddlebags. But Ferona kept an apple for herself and began eating it too, like Berek. She didn't finish though, and gave the rest to the horse. Rose knickered excitedly and breathed on her hands.

"Oi! If it isn't the Queen Beggar!" suddenly announced a man, laughing snidely.

"Eh? It really is. And wasn't that the smith with 'er?"

"I do believe it was, Todd! What would he be doing with 'er, ay?"

By now the two men were close enough to recognize. By SMELL if nothing else. It was, of course, the manure cart drivers she'd had the misfortune to tick off previously. But this time their expressions weren't nearly so angry. They looked... like they'd spotted fresh meat.

Todd, was it? Todd snatched the scarf off her head, eliciting a shriek. She dropped Rose's reigns and grabbed for it.

"Lookie there! She's not bald no more!" He held it out of her reach, passing it from one arm to the next.

The other man, the one she really hated, reached out and touched her hair, carressing her cheek in the process.

"'S pretty. No wonder the smith's keeping her at home."

Ferona slapped him and then snatched the scarf back from his stunned friend.

"You bitch!" he cried, grabbing her wrist and yanking her to close to him. "I should've taught you a lesson the first time!"

She was too proud to whimper and to cowed to slap him again. She was reminded too much of the night she was kidnapped, when it had done no good to cry for help or fight. And the enraged face glaring down at her seemed to mesh with the one she'd seen that night as well. She shrank back, heart in her throat.

The Deposed Dilemma

To be honest, Ferona had never paid attention to the timespan he put on their arrangement. So far she'd been surprisingly content, once she stopped being so bored. And she'd really grown to enjoy spending time with him. She was thinking about the upcoming winter, but only because he'd brought it up a few times. She agreed that she needed a warm cloak.

Food! She briefly clutched his sleeve. "Oh, don't get me started!" There were SO many foods she'd been wishing for now. She tried to choose the one she wanted most. "Fish? Or some really good vegetables..." Something other than what was growing in his garden. She tugged his sleeve a little more. "Eggs! Yes, we should definitely get eggs..." But transporting them all the way home without breaking them might be a slight problem. Then again, one of the first days she was with him he had gotten a few from somewhere... She dropped his sleeve and brushed a fly away from the horse.

The two young people made a nice looking couple together, to anyone that noticed them. Ferona was very striking in the red dress next to the red horse, with her bright green eyes taking everything in. But Berek wasn't unknown here and since the first time a client caught sight of her word had spread through the town that he had a woman staying there. So far, though, no one knew it was the crazy beggar "queen." Those that cared for gossip and knew Berek on sight were very interested in her. But many others paid them no mind yet.

The Deposed Dilemma

Now that she wasn't bald anymore, Ferona's self-esteem was quite boosted. She smiled more these days. Furthermore, she was excited about the horse! It was a blood bay mare, no purebreds in her line at all. But she was a million times better than a donkey. Fera named her Rose and loved her more than she could've guessed she would.

So yes, she was riding her, just like she did every day. And it was a little strange because she had her dress hiked way up to allow for it, with pants on underneath. She'd gotten used to wearing them so she might as well make use of them... She wasn't about to try to cut her dress to make it fit for riding. And side saddle was the worst!

Once they got close to the town she dismounted and straightened her clothes and her scarf and patted Rose's flank. She also felt for her purse of money, considering again what she should buy today.

The Deposed Dilemma

The Demere's were not huggers. She had certainly hugged her sister Faeryn before but not as compassionately as this. (They had a strained relationship). Her father had hugged her as a small child, but not once she'd grown up. Her mother never had.

She let her legs drop to the ground and she turned toward him, accepting the hug. She embraced him back and let herself believe that it really would be okay. Somewhere along the line she'd stopped fearing what he was after and begun to trust him. Today especially, she was grateful for his presence in her life. Or her presence in his life, at least.

The Deposed Dilemma

"Lose her kingdom?" she smiled mirthlessly.

She didn't mind telling him, although she didn't want to think about it. Her fingers drummed on the table briefly and she looked at them. They were still ragged but they were already growing out again. They'd been perfectly manicured her whole life before now but if she had a file she figured she could probably fix them herself. She might have to look into that next. But this was just stalling...

"My biggest mistake was firing Tyrell, I think. Then again... if he'd been there maybe they just would've killed him." Still, she couldn't help thinking that if not for her pride... He would've been there to save her. It wasn't like she'd been in love with him so why hadn't she gotten over his rejection?

"I don't know how they got in. They were just suddenly there, in the middle of the night. It didn't matter what I did to fight them of or cry for help. They'd killed everyone they met on the way in." She'd seen some of the dead bodies while they were carrying her out, not even dragging but actually carrying her. She was already gagged and tied up by that point. And treated to one of many speeches about her wickedness and how unfit she was to be queen... She'd wanted to gouge their eyes out for such insolence!

"I remember being kept somewhere like a cave. Maybe a cellar. But only for a night. I kept thinking that someone would find me but there wasn't time. I have some vague memories of the trip here... There was definitely a ship. But I was so sick... And drugged... for most of it." She lost the formal pose she'd been sitting in and drew her knees to her chest and hugged them, lowering her face. The rest was pretty basic. They'd already dressed her in a peasant's dress and then they just dumped her in a foreign country with no way to live. She still didn't know why that had been their plan. Was it the plan or had something gone awry? It was still effective though. She would never make it back home. They got their wish, she may have lived but she may as well be dead.

The Deposed Dilemma

She took a breath too and turned back around. There was a little chopping left to do but once that was done she dropped things in the pot to boil, slowly, as he directed. Including the spices. Last of all the milk. She picked up the spoon she'd seen him use last time and stirred it. The cheese was already melting! She was actually COOKING!

She smiled a little and turned back to him. At his words, she paused for a second and then said, "No. It was fine." She wiped her face as if she was sweating and poured some water for both of them and even for Humphrey. She crouched on the floor to give it to him and pat his head.

"I had several hunting dogs at the castle," she said, folding her arms on top of her bent knees. "This little guy reminds me of them a lot." She patted him one more time and stood up.

The Deposed Dilemma

She was grateful she didn't have to ask for his help. But the WAY he came to her aid... She startled slightly and glanced over her shoulder questioningly. But she didn't pull away. She swallowed and nodded, trying to focus. But he was too close. She held herself away from him slightly, and yet could still feel the muscles of his chest pressed against her back. Her mind was all to happy to remind her of what he looked like with his shirt of as well. Heat crept up her face. His weighty arms encircled hers warmly. And he had his own distinct smell, too. She took a breath, finding it not an unpleasant smell...

But then she dropped the knife and pulled away, flushed. "No--Yes, yes. I've got it, Berek." She turned away but he could probably still judge how red her face was by how red her ears were! She crossed toward the fire and checked on the water. "It's boiling. Um, what do we do now?" She raised a hand to her mouth and bit her knuckle, briefly closing her eyes. She couldn't become attracted to him. She just couldn't let that happen... They were LIVING together. He was a BLACK SMITH. No matter how sweet he was, buying her roses, looking at her and touching her like she wasn't cruel or cold or ugly, OR crazy! That was the worst of it. Or the best of it. The way he simply looked at her sometimes!