Zane620

Bleach: A New Dawn

Expllo said
Nah, I may make him at a later time....Need to plan out my victims.I'm Sherlock, you're Watson.....You're Waxel now.

Well Kurisa posted so you want to post or me XD

Bleach: A New Dawn

Axel said
That makes no sense whatsoever XD*Backhands*Well how about another? Q: What happens when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force?

Okay.... One. THE LAST ONE ANYWAY XD

Bleach: A New Dawn

Expllo said
I'M THINKING ABOUT THE FUCKING KIDS RIGHT NOW! gaudBut seriously, I will innabit. Afterwards I need yo peeps opinions, for the first time in my life, about my new character....Atleast his abilities <.<

The torture one?

Bleach: A New Dawn

DeathstrokeSW said
OK, I edited the last shikai skill to say that it lasts for an entire battle but can only be used once per day.

Well then EXPLLO DEDUCE AGAIN XD

Bleach: A New Dawn

Axel said
Well yes(Not really but yes in a sense) and maybe depending on how you answer this question. Q: What Squad holds drinking parties every week?

seven right?

Kurisa said
YEAH WELL IT'S TO MUCH INFO!....Still...I may have wrote every word of it and read it several times to check for things and even read it once it was posted just to make sure everything was correct but I still haven't read it xD

Wow

Bleach: A New Dawn

Death, your last Shikai skill still has the 6 post cool down within it dude.

Bleach: A New Dawn

Expllo said
This is why I like you.

I read it tooo :3

Bleach: A New Dawn

DeathstrokeSW said
WHat concerns me is that there are only 3 ways to become a captain of the soul society. How does one advance to captain in this game?: 1. To take the captain proficiency test which requires the ability to perform the bankai. Presumably, most Soul Reapers become captains using this method. At least three existing captains, including the Commander-General, have to witness the test. 2. To have personal recommendations from at least six captains and approval from at least three of the remaining seven. 3. To defeat a captain one-on-one with at least 200 witnesses from the captain's division. Kenpachi Zaraki is the only known captain to have achieved his rank using this method.

Well at the moment we arent worrying about other becoming Captain, besides The captain test will msot liekly be different due to having so few Captains.

Bleach: A New Dawn

Expllo said
Looks better atleast.Just a few things about the history:1. I doubt anyone privileged would want to kick his ass just because he wants to join the Gotei 13, especially since at a time like this they can use all the help they can get. And since a Captain (Kenpachi) started from the slums and probably became one of the, if not the, strongest member of the Gotei 13. Just saying, just a tiny nit-pick, but it's not something you have to change.2. Don't understand why someone would want to take his eye in a training session.....This again is just a nit-pick, but I just don't understand that part....3. At graduation, he received his Zanpakuto, learning his name within 5 days. Despite being unseated, the man shows promise.Although you probably wouldn't unlock your Shikai by instructors training, I'm 99.9% sure you have your Zanpakuto while in the academy.....Which is why you would learn Zanjutsu.....So, yeah, that's that.Abilities I still think you could write better, but here goes nonetheless.Fear inducement(minor, but all it does is the equivalent of an increased heartrate) there are the after effects of being fearful of Sankontessuo's wielder for the duration of 6 posts, with a cool down of 3 posts - I would make the cool down more fair/a bit higher, but I'd say after the fear inducement wore off then the cooldown starts....That's just me though. This is probably something I should have opinions on.a slash similar to a getsuga tensho in function.(one post cool down/1 post duration.) It is named Shadow wave or Kage no nami - Kurisa stated he wants atleast a two post cool down for the max cool downs to avoid spamming post after post. Since this ability isn't really on effects and is just a blunt attack I'd give it about a two - four cool down, personally.Darkness generation similar to what Tosen was able to do but without the sensory deprivation, rather, it simply forces the battlefield to shrink to a more intimate level by way of illusion. Lasts for entire battles but cannot be used for 6 posts afterwards. Takes 6 posts to be able to use. As yet, Sankontessuo has not revealed the name of this move to him. As a result its effectiveness is reduced by 50% - I understand that the point may be so the opponent has limited amount of room to move (By illusion), but the whole battle and then just a six post cool down to use again? No, absolutely not. What'll make it more fair is that it's an ability he can use once per day, then the whole battle shrinking area thing would be fair. Or give a post duration on how long the ability lasts, then have it have a six post cool down.

That and I just noticed his Zanpakuto type is combat and he has an Illusion move. So if anything his Zanpakuto type is Illusion and Melee.

Bleach: A New Dawn

DeathstrokeSW said
I edited out the Hado #90 bits, is there anything else you'd have me work on?

Check last page dude XD I said what I found wrong near the bottom