Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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VitaVitaAR King of Knights

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@NobleArchangel: I'm really sorry about making you wait, I'll at least give you the story on Lethienvel/The Veil of Tears shortly so you know what to do. Sorry again.

@Darcs: Okay, um, my only remaining issue is that some of these seem a little "video-gamey"? Mostly Concussion, Jinx, Voodoo, Wrath, though Hex a little too. If you can figure out a way to make these sound more like they fit into a world rather then a video game then they're fine.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Exodus
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VitaVitaAR said
@Exodus: Going to give you some time to find pictures, but the bio seems mostly fine. I do have a question, though, why is he called a Warlord? It's a little misleading, I'd go with something like "Tower Warrior" because of his shield.


When I think of a Warlord in an RPG, I think of the fighter-buffer hybrid class. Y'know, like, a fighter that grants morale/attack/whatever buffs to the party. They're good fighters on their own, but what sets them apart from a Warrior is that they inspire their allies to victory at the same time. When I called him a Warlord, I was taking his personality/character into account too, not just what equipment he uses.

As for the pictures... Don't get too excited. I might not find anything matching the picture in my head, and I can't draw people for shit.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Scarifar
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Oh, a warlord. For some reason I read that as Warlock, which confused me since he didn't seem like a Warlock.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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@Exodus: Hmm. So he basically helps motivate or something? Keep in mind attack boosts in a video game fashion don't really translate well to prose. ^^;

Also, major updates to the first post, including a description of the Veil of Tears and some reorganization.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by NobleArchangel
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@Vita: I edited Va'laran's backstory. Hopefully it fits better with the lore you added.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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Hmm. Only thing is that the more likely race to try and break through the Veil by force is orcs/goblins, though there might be some less pleasant humans.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by NobleArchangel
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VitaVitaAR said
Hmm. Only thing is that the more likely race to try and break through the Veil by force is orcs/goblins, though there might be some less pleasant humans.


I edited it again. The humans who tried to break through were bandits and marauders, and I also mentioned the Orc/Goblin raiding parties.

Just a quick question, what are the views of the humans of Velt towards the High Elves on the other side of the Veil of Tears?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Exodus
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Yeah, that's essentially it. I mean, I've done more than enough RPs to know what translates how, don't worry. What I meant by it is that he's the motivational-leader type of guy, y'know? Someone easy to look up to that you'd want to do better around. Think like, Captain America, as a famous example.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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@Archangel: Well... they probably find them kind of mysterious? There is some trade and interaction but it's not exactly common.

@Exodus: You mean that just as a motivator, right? Not as a full-blown leader? I'm wary of that kind of thing. ^^;
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by NobleArchangel
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@Exodus: Another name for that class could be Champion too. Just a thought.

@Vita: So is my character accepted?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Exodus
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@VitaVitaAR: Yeah, exactly like that. Like, he's the type to give a big pep talk, offer encouragement, and buy drinks later. Seriously, don't even worry about it, I'm not trying to put him into a leadership position, just explaining the trope as it stands in things like D&D. ^^"

@NobleArchangel: Thanks for the suggestion. That's also perfectly acceptable.

Honestly, I just put down the first name I thought of that was closest to a class from anything. Plus I thought it sounded cool. Warlord. But if that still makes you feel uncomfortable, Champion is fine.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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I'll be judging bios tomorrow, since I don't approve or decline anything after 12:00 until I get some sleep. ^^;
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Scarifar
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I do believe I'm done editing my dungeon.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Darcs
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VitaVitaAR said @Darcs: Okay, um, my only remaining issue is that some of these seem a little "video-gamey"? Mostly Concussion, Jinx, Voodoo, Wrath, though Hex a little too. If you can figure out a way to make these sound more like they fit into a world rather then a video game then they're fine.

Gave the names the spacial/fantasy theme that Isi's character has as well as polishing a few of the descriptions, put it as 'abilities' under my CS.

You guys, I think this is the hardest I've ever worked to be accepted into an RP. I need sleep.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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@NobleArchangel: He's accepted. Though keep in mind that it's fine to pass through the Veil if you're allowed to, it's more of a "this was so horrendous and tragic that we don't want to" thing for many high elves.

It does make a good defensive position, though.

@Exodus: Change class to champion and he's fine, sorry. ^^;

@Scarifar: Looks good to me!

@Darcs: Sorry, um, that's not quite what I meant. The names were fine, I guess I should have been more specific. I wanted less video-gamey descriptions. I don't really know how "lowers attack damage" and stuff like that applies to a prose-based RP.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by The Patriarch
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I'm finished with Finn's cs, I'll put in his backstory later
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Lord Santa
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What should I change about Jon? Kind of having a hard time with balancing him, kind of.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by The Patriarch
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Lord Santa said
What should I change about Jon? Kind of having a hard time with balancing him, kind of.


What weaknesses do you have for him?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by NobleArchangel
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To add on to what Patriarch said, those weaknesses don't just have to be in the form of a combat deficiency. It could be a glaring flaw in his personality that would lower his disposition with the other party members.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Lord Santa
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Currently, Jon doesn't exactly have a weakness. I suppose one might be he relies on his weapons, but that's not really much of a weakness. I guess the only thing is that he doesn't have much defence against magic. He's kind of supposed to be average without any strengths or weaknesses, really. But I'm thinking about whether or not he has too many weapons to be physically able to carry, and if so, what I should cut down on. I think I tried making him out for a dps role, but he's more of a versatile guy because he has a shield and all.

I suppose its easier to list his strengths and that would be:
- High defence (relatively)
- Lots of weapons
- Fairly strong

while his weaknesses are:
- Weak to magic (probably)

And things to consider are:
- Whether or not he's holding too much to physically carry.

So I think I need more weaknesses?
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