Fine. Whatever. Delete this when you're done reading it.
I'm sure someone will manage to get a hold of Lauren tomorrow
Piper, Jericho. Age 17. Blood Type O-. Transcript [CLASSIFIED].
Interview conducted by Gold Stripes Control - HJNS Team Controller Nicole Polendina.
"Sal-u-tations, killer!"
"Nicole, what the hell is this? Am I still getting these as a Beacon transfer?"
"I'm just making sure they didn't do anything to tinker with a national treasure, Jer!"
Question 1
What is your favorite food?
"Strawberries."
Question 2
What is your favorite color?
"What?"
"Everyone has a favorite color, you goofball. Even just shades you find appealing."
"Green lights."
Question 3
Do you have anything you enjoy watching the most on TV?
"The labyrinthine cover stories and dead-eyed stoic stares in the soap operas give me good practice. Sometimes I'll catch a comic book movie or something if it's on. Ruining something Grat loves is usually a treat."
Question 4
What scares you easily?
"Hungry birds."
Question 5
Any specialties aside from the ol’-fashioned fighting?
"Of course. I was trained in a variety of activities from swimming and skiing to cooking and evidence removal. I like keeping things clean. You never know when a stray piece of evidence will make a case - or get you killed."
"And how would you respond to reports of you being an effete kitchen wench?"
"I'd say Speer needs to keep a close eye on any prospective sniper's perches for the next couple weeks instead of image searching pop idols to [INTERVIEWER'S NOTE: REDACTED FOR DECENCY.]"
"It says here that you've been classically trained in singing, guitar, and choreograph--"
"Must be a leftover from Babs' file."
"But I've been with you on road trips before - hey, that's another one, you're as good a driver as Bright! And you love singing when the right song comes on!"
"I've made no secret about loving a good Ella classic or some Louis--"
"A little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit of Erica by my sid--"
"[REDACTED AT REQUEST OF OPERATIVE.]"
Question 6
Who do you consider closest with you as of now?
"I don't mind some of the Beacon kids. Grat is alright. It takes a special kind of person to survive that long with the rabies virus. Beryl would be alright if she weren't always trying to cling onto me like a wrestler and doing that autistic screech."
"Screech?"
"Yeah, it's awful, it's this goddamn ear-rending Jiiiii! You'll have lived a happy life if you never hear it again. Anyway, you know my answer. Rich is still the king."
Question 7
Who would you like to get closer to in your team?
"Ferris. I have a lifetime's worth of tactics and advice to offer him, if he'd take it."
Question 8
Who would you like to get closer to outside your team the most?
"Wait, what the hell is this, Nicole? You never asked me these things about the Gold Stripes--"
"Look, we just need to determine what the new relationships have done to your psyche!"
"You know, Bright always said you used these to sabotage girls' chances with me, is that what's go--
"COMPUTER REDACT QUEST--"
"--because all you have to do is ask and I'll hel--"
[DATA RETRIEVAL ERROR. AUTO-FILLED ANSWER: NICOLE POLENDINA (<3333).]
Question 9
Any nicknames from your childhood?
"Princess, mostly. My dad used to call me Billie Holiday now and again, but that dried up when I chose the academy over [REDACTED AT REQUEST OF OPERATIVE.]"
Question 10
Do you have a crush on anyone?!
"No."
"This is important, killer."
"No."
"Nobody that might get in the way of that killer instinct of yours...?"
"No."
"Not even in the field..."
"No."
"Well, maybe not in the field, maybe just...around the field..."
"No."
"No one with a hand in your ops?"
"No."
"...W-Well, that's good! The professors were, uh, worried about that. Good. Awesome."
Question 11
Do you have any secrets you can share to those you won't tell for a long time?
"Vampires exist. So does the deep state. Grat smiles at Captain Atlas' speeches, and Bianca has a sticky poster of him under her bed. I had my first kiss on a job in Mistral, and he had a hair rune ju--"
"Wait what"
"Yeah, a hair rune just like mine. All this time I thought it was a family quirk."
"W h a t?"
"Yeah, it was really bright blue. Right underneath his bangs."
"You keep saying his. So tell me about this Mistralian.."
"Really? What relevance does Relo have with anything?"
"Humor me."
"Okay, well, it started on a job to [REDACTED FOR USE IN INTERVIEWER'S HOT AND STEAMY PRIVATE LIBRARY.]"
Question 12
Is there anyone you wish to see right now?
"Yeah, either my sister or a goddamn lawyer. What's going on here? This is the most irrelevant psych eval I've ever had in my life, Nicole, normally you're way more professional than this."
"I-I told you, the time away in Vale might have--"
"You're selling information to Babylon again, aren't you?"
"How dare you question my integrity, Devil!"
"AREN'T YOU--"
INTERVIEW CONCLUDED. SUBJECT IS STILL HIGHLY FIT. FOR DUTY. FIT FOR DUTY. PLEASE CLASSIFY THIS BYE.
Interview conducted by Gold Stripes Control - HJNS Team Controller Nicole Polendina.
"Sal-u-tations, killer!"
"Nicole, what the hell is this? Am I still getting these as a Beacon transfer?"
"I'm just making sure they didn't do anything to tinker with a national treasure, Jer!"
Question 1
What is your favorite food?
"Strawberries."
Question 2
What is your favorite color?
"What?"
"Everyone has a favorite color, you goofball. Even just shades you find appealing."
"Green lights."
Question 3
Do you have anything you enjoy watching the most on TV?
"The labyrinthine cover stories and dead-eyed stoic stares in the soap operas give me good practice. Sometimes I'll catch a comic book movie or something if it's on. Ruining something Grat loves is usually a treat."
Question 4
What scares you easily?
"Hungry birds."
Question 5
Any specialties aside from the ol’-fashioned fighting?
"Of course. I was trained in a variety of activities from swimming and skiing to cooking and evidence removal. I like keeping things clean. You never know when a stray piece of evidence will make a case - or get you killed."
"And how would you respond to reports of you being an effete kitchen wench?"
"I'd say Speer needs to keep a close eye on any prospective sniper's perches for the next couple weeks instead of image searching pop idols to [INTERVIEWER'S NOTE: REDACTED FOR DECENCY.]"
"It says here that you've been classically trained in singing, guitar, and choreograph--"
"Must be a leftover from Babs' file."
"But I've been with you on road trips before - hey, that's another one, you're as good a driver as Bright! And you love singing when the right song comes on!"
"I've made no secret about loving a good Ella classic or some Louis--"
"A little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit of Erica by my sid--"
"[REDACTED AT REQUEST OF OPERATIVE.]"
Question 6
Who do you consider closest with you as of now?
"I don't mind some of the Beacon kids. Grat is alright. It takes a special kind of person to survive that long with the rabies virus. Beryl would be alright if she weren't always trying to cling onto me like a wrestler and doing that autistic screech."
"Screech?"
"Yeah, it's awful, it's this goddamn ear-rending Jiiiii! You'll have lived a happy life if you never hear it again. Anyway, you know my answer. Rich is still the king."
Question 7
Who would you like to get closer to in your team?
"Ferris. I have a lifetime's worth of tactics and advice to offer him, if he'd take it."
Question 8
Who would you like to get closer to outside your team the most?
"Wait, what the hell is this, Nicole? You never asked me these things about the Gold Stripes--"
"Look, we just need to determine what the new relationships have done to your psyche!"
"You know, Bright always said you used these to sabotage girls' chances with me, is that what's go--
"COMPUTER REDACT QUEST--"
"--because all you have to do is ask and I'll hel--"
[DATA RETRIEVAL ERROR. AUTO-FILLED ANSWER: NICOLE POLENDINA (<3333).]
Question 9
Any nicknames from your childhood?
"Princess, mostly. My dad used to call me Billie Holiday now and again, but that dried up when I chose the academy over [REDACTED AT REQUEST OF OPERATIVE.]"
Question 10
Do you have a crush on anyone?!
"No."
"This is important, killer."
"No."
"Nobody that might get in the way of that killer instinct of yours...?"
"No."
"Not even in the field..."
"No."
"Well, maybe not in the field, maybe just...around the field..."
"No."
"No one with a hand in your ops?"
"No."
"...W-Well, that's good! The professors were, uh, worried about that. Good. Awesome."
Question 11
Do you have any secrets you can share to those you won't tell for a long time?
"Vampires exist. So does the deep state. Grat smiles at Captain Atlas' speeches, and Bianca has a sticky poster of him under her bed. I had my first kiss on a job in Mistral, and he had a hair rune ju--"
"Wait what"
"Yeah, a hair rune just like mine. All this time I thought it was a family quirk."
"W h a t?"
"Yeah, it was really bright blue. Right underneath his bangs."
"You keep saying his. So tell me about this Mistralian.."
"Really? What relevance does Relo have with anything?"
"Humor me."
"Okay, well, it started on a job to [REDACTED FOR USE IN INTERVIEWER'S HOT AND STEAMY PRIVATE LIBRARY.]"
Question 12
Is there anyone you wish to see right now?
"Yeah, either my sister or a goddamn lawyer. What's going on here? This is the most irrelevant psych eval I've ever had in my life, Nicole, normally you're way more professional than this."
"I-I told you, the time away in Vale might have--"
"You're selling information to Babylon again, aren't you?"
"How dare you question my integrity, Devil!"
"AREN'T YOU--"
INTERVIEW CONCLUDED. SUBJECT IS STILL HIGHLY FIT. FOR DUTY. FIT FOR DUTY. PLEASE CLASSIFY THIS BYE.
I'm sure someone will manage to get a hold of Lauren tomorrow
