I DON'T LIKE'EM PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE WATER THAT TURNS THE FRICKIN' 1X1 SECTION LEWD.
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4 yrs ago
Oi JOSUKE, I logged on to my personal desktop computation device and went to ROLEPLAYERGUILDDOTCOM, now I'm trapped in the one-times-one section! Ain't that wacky?
Funniest comedic moment? For me, it's a small one, but I still remember it well. It was Raeyln's cynical monologue about the base inner workings of man, and how it overcame the odds through sheer stupid luck to become a dominant species above other animals. It's funny because, well, it's all true. All of humanity is just a happy little accident on the canvas of the universe.
I'll be updating this post for my other nominations as they come to me.
Guess who has been hard at work for the past few hours? This guy.
So, since the Guild likes to go down a lot, and Guildfall taught us that it can go down for quite a long time, I've taken it upon myself to archive Fruits of Contention. I've started a Gmail account specifically for the job, and the account's Google Drive serves as this roleplay's "library".
So far I've archived the raw text of: everyone's characters; the OPs of the IC, OOC, and Character tabs; the World Information post; the character sheet and character-building references(equipment limitations, skills and weaknesses, and guidelines); the summary, and the first two pages of IC posts(forty posts in total...was not the most exciting thing in the world). I'm also saving snapshots of the IC pages through the use of archive.is, just so we have both the raw version and the final product of each post.
For now I'm going to put archiving the OOC on the backburner, because that's 4k+ posts and lolfuckthatshit.
Consider this my(very) belated birthday present to all of you guys and Fruits of Contention.
So uh, in the flurry of things I had to attend to in the past week I kinda...forgot about this whole "I'm the summarization guy" thing. I remember now, though!
This whole thing started out in The Reach. The company was contracted for the removal of Forsworn from a redoubt. Despite a few causalities it was a roaring success. The redoubt is where we picked up Vurwe(then commandeered by Chrononaut). The company found some Forsworn cubs at the Redoubt as well. One was a dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbag,like mebut we caught'em. Decided to send them all to a safer place where they weren't as likely to grow into misanthropic sociopaths.
After the mission at the redoubt was concluded, the company moved to Windhelm. A few members went their own separate ways during a stop at Rorikstead. Once the remaining mercenaries arrived at Windhelm, Ashav set up shop to try to get some fresh faces into the company, and he was fairly successful if I recall correctly. But everything changed when the Kamal attacked.
Then the Kamal attacked, laying siege to Windhelm. A defense force comprised of battle-ready citizens, city guard, the White River Braves, the Dawnguard vampire hunters, and our company held the docks for a while, but a barrage of giant ice spikes forced everyone to retreat into the city. The kamal continued to blast the walls with missiles for a while, until they got bored of that and started sending corpses over the walls instead.
Amidst the siege, the local Argonian population have decided it would be a good time to freak the fuck out and start a riot.
Right, so, while the more combat-proficient of the company provided the guards with support regarding the rioters, a few others(Sagax, Tsleeixth, and an NPC guard named Frald) went to track down the Argonian Pakseech(local Argonian elder) to try and get him to calm the rioters down. When the aforementioned amigos found him, it was decided that Tsleeixth, being a fellow Argonian, would do all the talking. Through emotional appeal which then lead to the consideration of the logical outcome of trying to leave the city through conventional ways(that being certain death at the hands of the Kamal), the Pakseech relented and agreed with Tsleeixth that the riot would do more harm than good. The elder then gathered the Argonian population in front of Candlehearth Hall and commanded all hostilities cease. The streets of Windhelm grew quiet again.
While all this was going on, Farid and Leif were attempting to cash in on a bounty, but instead of finding someone to put them IN jail, they were trying to break someone OUT. The "bounty" on this man's head was put there by a friend trying to get him out. The escape route that Farid, Leif, and Anders(the wanted man) took was through the sewers. As if simply being down there wasn't bad enough, the trio came across a crazed Argonian snake charmer. The witch got taken down, though Farid got poisoned by the stabby end of the charmer's instrument. He lived though. After getting out, Anders immediately shot for where he thought his friend was. The client that hired Farid was dead, killed by a Kamal missile that was hurled over the walls. In his boot was a key that opened a box. Inside was Farid and Leif's pay(well not really, it was meant for Anders, but ya know, details details), and a bit of paper. The paper documented several plans, including but not limited to, proposal to the high king for banning all intoxicants, the possibility of the construction of a Thu'um academy, and soul-trapping undesirables. The Black-Briars had contracted the Thieves Guild, of which Anders was a part of, to steal these documents, but Anders failed and was thrown in prison. Instead of handing it over to the Black-Briars though, Farid and Leif gave the paper to Ashav for review.
Not that any of that would matter though, as the Kamal took no time in finally taking the city. In a strange display of honor, the Kamal commander sent a request for a duel to Windhelm's Jarl, Lodevemar. The Jarl accepted, and was unceremoniously slaughtered by the giant. As fired-up guards and citizens rushed out to avenge Lodevemar, the Kamal seized the opportunity and launched ice spikes straight into the gears of the open gates, jamming them. The Snow Demons charged in and began killing all resisters. Our company and several others escaped through underground tunnels, leading out into Anga's Mill. The bridge crossing a crevice before the exit fell, though, and many people fell straight to the dooms, one meeting their end by a dagger wielded by a certain someone. It only got worse after emerging at the mill, as the Kamal were already there, patrolling with mounts. The company and other survivors bolted into the woods, towards Dawnstar, and even more people were killed, including Utu-Ja, then-commandeered by Haeo.
The survivors stopped shortly at Nightgate Inn, and continued on to Dawnstar, where the company spent the night. This is where Ashav met the company's benefactor, a Nord named Gustav. He was the client that hired the company for, and financed the Reach expedition and got the mercenaries a place to stay in Windhelm(it was a bare warehouse, but that's an aside). The Nord was allegedly guided by the words of a prophet who told of a great crisis in the future, and had used the Reach mission as a field-trial. The prophet then relayed that the first conflict would be in Windhelm. What Gustav did not know, however, was that the conflict would be headed by denizens of Akavir. Currently, Gustav is not sure of the next step to take against the invaders. In the mean time, while their benefactor waits for further word from his prophet, our company is joining up with Dawnstar sailors and the East Empire Company along with the Jarl and his men on a rescue operation to Winterhold. Another disaster struck the town, and it is no more, aside from the College, which has been cut off from the mainland due to the bridge collapsing.
The way over was bumpy, but most everyone made it. Now on the 14th of Sun's Height, The Courtesan floats near the College of Winterhold. Currently aboard are Dumhuvud, Leif, Sadri, Orakh, Rhasha'Dar, and a few sailors, who are fighting off Ice Wraiths after sailing over to a shoreline when they saw smoke rising into the air, denoting a fire and possibly a survivor. The rest, that being Sevine, Farid, Roze, Do'Karth, Ariane, Keegan, S'Riracha, Tsleeixth, Solveig, Sagax, and seven NPC sailors, went through the Midden after doing a bit of rock climbing to get to the College proper.
After fighting off a bunch of glowing blue pokeballs, the rescue team ascended a ladder up to the College grounds. It was there that Faralda, the "acting captain" as it were of the College, explained the cause of the sudden storms and the destruction of Winterhold. A student had been testing enchanted telescopes, and it was with these that they spied ships of wooden, rectangular make, crewed by mages who would drained energy from odd vessals into the sky and oceans. This brought the landslide that sent the town into the sea.
After a brief check of supplies and the well-being of the College's residents, the rescue team, along with the most injured of the College(roughly person one per team member), descended back down through the Midden and back to The Courtesan.
The rescue team got back to the ship to find they had more guests. After fighting off the Ice Wraiths, those that had remained on the ship discovered the source of the fire: An Azuran priest named Kattun and his Khajiit companion, R'ihanna. They were attempting to travel to the Statue of Azura, but the storm stopped them in their tracks. The Kamals apparently passed by their hidey-hole on their way to Windhelm, as the two were pelted with ice spikes when they went to hail some ships, hoping for a rescue.
So that was that, rescue mission completed. Not.
The storms only picked up as time went on, downright blinding the captains of the ships in the small rescue fleet, nearly smashing into one another several times. Unfortunately, all the manuevering in the world wouldn't have let them avoid the sudden iceberg that violently pierced the hull. They had to abandon The Courtesan. Some of the mages on board did not wait, oh no, they hopped right into one of the dinghies and cut the rope, sending them down to the waters. This would be their end, as they had no experience with sailing of any kind, and the storm eventually overtook them, flipping their boat and drowning them all. This left only one other dinghy, and it could not fit everyone. After various nominations, the passengers were decided: Sevine, Solveig, Trius, Do'Karth, Rhasha'dar, R'ihanna, and the remaining mage boarded the dinghy and set off towards the nearby coastline. When they landed, they were warmly greeted by incredibly hostile Morrowind Armigers, who wanted to show the party their cool swords. One recognized Trius, and called him a traitor. As it turns out, Trius was once an Armiger himself, who left the organization after succumbing to regret over the things he was once made to do. Naturally, the Armigers were not too happy to see their old friend, and promptly lashed out with swords drawn.
Fortunately, our shore party were no slouches, and they swiftly brought down most of the Armigers. Then, surprise of all surprises, a strange group of crimson-clad gimps jumped out of literally no where and killed their select few. The Dark Brotherhood almost lost their contract to some random band of mercenaries; how embarassing!
Just as the youngest of the assassins killed his target, The Courtesan beached along the shore. Kattun fell over the railing like an idiot and broke some things, while others intelligently used ropes to shimmy down the hull. Cat-Kicker, being who he is, marched straight up to the assassins and demanded to know why they were there. Well, obviously, they were there to kill the Armigers, though the why of it all was a mystery. That is, until, the Listener uncovered a bundle of paper from one of the dead Armigers. It was wirtten in Dunmeri, signed by the Nerevarine's War Ministry. According to the letter, those Armigers were meant to secure a beachhead and link up with their Akavir allies, aka the Kamals. The Brotherhood is no more friendly towards the Akavir invaders than the company is. Strange bedfellows indeed. Before the assassins left, one of them, Rhasha'dar's sister, gave the notes to her brother for possible use later.
After the crimsonheads departed, the company helped themselves to the shelter and supplies secured by the Armigers and got a well earned night's sleep. In the morning, everything was packed up and the company would head back to Dawnstar on foot, as The Courtesan was not seaworthy. The snowstorm only picked up from there, and the need for cover was pressing. Eventually, Do'Karth, who was at the front of the formation helping navigation, picked up the scent of fungus, and deduced a cave was nearby. This shelter, however, was no port in the storm.
The clicking of mandibles and the screams of Falmer rang throughout the cavern; Falmer and their accursed chaurus pets. A couple of people got shot, others were almost Chaurus food, but eventually the company pushed the Falmer back enough for them to set up a temporary camp inside the cave. A few people were put on watch, and everything turned out just fine. Minus a minor poisoning, but you know, that's not important.
When the company got back, they caught their first real break in weeks: A whalers' festival was being held in Dawnstar, a sight in stark contrast to the rubble of Windhelm and the endless tundra they had just crossed. Everyone had a good time and no one died. Not until the next morning, at least. After reading the news about the Ocrish assault on Dragon Gate, Farid flew into a rage and murdered Orakh, whom the leader of the assault(Orakh's successor) attributed his inspiration to. Detained by the leaders of the company, Farid would pay for his transgressions through combat. Ashav's champion: Daixanos. The battle was dirty and bloody, but Dax came out on top, burying his axe deep into Farid's chest. Farid was given a decent burial.
The company then recieved word of three things. One: Forest fires had been raging in the Pale. These fires were not of the normal kind, though, as they occured at random, out of seasons, and they angered the Spriggans. Two: The location of a Dwemer ruin doubling as a sailor's hideout, Bthamz. Rumored to hold an ancient weapon storage facility, likely containing ballistae and crossbows, it was worth a delve. Three: It was deduced that the enemy Armigers originated from Bleakrock Isle, a garrison not used since the last Kamal invasion several eras past. The plan: Occupy the Bthamz, acquire the armaments hidden away inside, and sail to Bleakrock to blast the Armigers straight into Oblivion and take the isle for the company.
The current parties are:
Pale - Rhasha'Dar , Jorwen, Sevine, Daixanos, Mercel and Keegan
Bthamz - Sadri, Tsleeixth, Roze, Do'Karth, Solveig, Raelyn, Leif, Elmera, Sagax The Pale party got fairly romped, but they pulled through and killed all the damn wolves and spriggans that were so rudely trying to get unsolicited blood samples from the group. In Bthamz, things went swimmingly, with only two party members sustaining serious injuries from the assault by Dwarven spheres and spider drones. And then Do'karth tried being nice and attempted to speak like a civil person to the other party wandering about in the ruin. He was nearly neutered for his efforts. Outside of Bthamz, the topside party led by Ashav and the captainbitch lieutenant of the captain of the Kyne's Tear investigated another ship...only to be, you guessed it, attacked.
Back in the Pale, the gang set up camp with a friendly Nord to regroup and heal up. During the quiet camping session, Rothvar, the Nord the group had met, revealed the cause of the fires: a pyromancer. While Rothvar and his previous team were working to stop the spread of the fires, the pyromancer would repeatedly foil their efforts by conjuring more and more flames behind them. The next day it was decided that some would stay behind at the camp, while the others would strike down the rogue mage. Keegan, Sevine, and Rhasha'Dar, still being heavily injured, stayed behind with Rothvar, while Jorwen, Daelin, Mercel, and Daixanos marched to Cindershine Mine, where the mage was reportedly hiding. When they got there, they indeed found the one responsible for the fires, along with some others, including man that had once fought in Ashav's company, Jonimir. Jonimir and the mage quickly came to blows, and our sword-swingin', arrow-shootin' heros quickly launched into battle themselves. In the end, the mage was defeated, Jonimir got away, and the company learned something dreadful: The Kamal have started enslaving people, sending them to do work the giants could not tend to themselves for whatever reason. Jonimir, along with his mage friend and an Orc woman named Bharzak, all wore collars, signifying their collaboration. Jonimir allowed Bharzak to leave his service, because he was just a cool dude like that, and she joined up with Jorwen and the others. All's well that ends well...well, except back at camp.
See, while the cave story was playing out, those back at base camp had their lazy snoozing interrupted by our favorite neighborhood living siege engines, the Kamal. Two of them to be precise, and they were closing in on the camp sight. Naturally, everyone panicked...except for Rothvar, clever old man that he was. He got to work digging ditches for everyone to hide from the Kamals in. Everyone's bodies and faces would be covered by a shallow layer of dirt, masking their presence from the uninvited guests romping around. It worked, too, and everyone was able to make their way to Nightgate Inn without(further) seriously injury. Oh, but uh, now they're being attacked by a Kamal-collaborator raiding party. Fun!
The hostiles facing off against our party in Bthamz were quickly and hilariously curbstomped, and their captain was brought to heel...well, for a little bit. The reappearance of Niernen apparently distracted the entire party long enough for the tart in bright orange robes to get away. No harm, no foul though, as the team quickly found him again...with several of his heavily-armed friends: A group of Ashlanders and their leader, Narivar, brother of everyone's favorite nosy journalist, Madura. Can you guess what happened next? If you guessed "A fight broke out after some failed attempts at diplomacy", you get...absolutely nothing! But you guessed right. Oh, did I mention that Dwemer Centurions are not exactly morning people/automata? Because one did not take kindly to the sudden commotion, and got up to give both sides a beating. Once the fighting began, the Centurion began stomping around, taking swings at Ashlanders and mercenaries alike(it hit more Ashlanders though, lolrekt). Eventually, with the help of Niernen, the two forces decided that working together to take down the big metal death machine was in their best interest, and shot it up after it got caught on some pipes. You know the saying: The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Well, the Centurion fell hard indeed; it's a wonder it didn't make the whole room collapse in on itself.
Afterwards, the Ashlanders remaining were pacified and the key to the armory was taken from Narivar. Best not to ask how that was done. Now the Bthamz team is working to get the ballistae out of the ruins, and meet up with the topside team, who had swiftly dealt with their own Ashlander nuisances.
This is our storyThis is where the IC is right now. At least one team's got some quiet time!
For now.
On a side note: Fuck, Hider tags are finicky little shits.
EDIT:
Just realized I forgot to tag the person the summary was meant for.
If you're still accepting, I'd love to join (in fact I more or less registered for it).
I'll read the first page in its entirety tonight, but is there anything beyond that I need to know? (e.g. where the plot is.)
Hello there, and welcome! I'll be updating my Summary word doc in a little bit, then I can slap it all in a hider for you to peruse as you wish. It's a little long, though I'd assume one would prefer anything over reading the literal entire timeline of this RP's post history.
Sagax tip-toed curiously, but cautiously, around the fallen Centurion. It still hummed and its eyes yet glowed, but it didn't move an inch. The inquisitive Imperial nearly had a heart-attack when a mass of steam spewed out of a loose valve after prodding the massive shoulder of the automaton with the tip of his blade. Deciding that perhaps he should leave the two-story, hammer-handed machine alone, Sagax hurried off to see what everyone else was doing. When he caught up to Niernen, Sadri and the others, the Ashlander leader was writhing on the floor near a pool of his own sick, the other warriors had been subdued, and the armory door was wide open. The ballistae were certainly something else indeed; they looked like massive crossbows, mounted to large, wheeled carts. Sagax could only imagine what they could do to a Kamal, or one of their ships. Surrounding the ballistae were some less impressive but still valuable arms, ranging from daggers to a quiver of dwarven arrows.
"Hm...I've heared Dwarven instruments shred flesh and hide like butter. I think I know someone who would appreciate one of these..." Taking one of the daggers, Sagax tucked it away in his bag. He refrained from taking one for himself, as he was already equipped with everything he needed. No reason to grab more than he could make use of.
"Sagax!"
Turning to face whoever was calling to him, he saw Edith, standing next to the disarmed Ashlanders, beckoning him over. Pulling back his hood, Sagax made his way over, wondering what she wanted with him.
"We need to get these ballistae out of here, and if it wasn't obvious from their size and the fact they're made of metal: they're heavy. We're going to need a bit of help moving them, but thankfully, we've got plenty." She said, nodding to the Ashlanders. "I want you to give me a hand directing them."
"Yes ma'am." With Sagax's response, Edith signaled for the Ashlanders to stand, and lead them to the ballistae. Before long, they were all ready to cart the weapons out of the ruin, which was no quieter, even with the defeat of the Centurion. The creaking of the carts' wheels could barely be heard over the sound of whirring machinery and the passing of steam through overhead pipes. Sagax would be very happy to be out of that place, because while he didn't mind noise, it was a different noise than that of a crowded city. The noise in the ruin gave him a headache, and the constant steam in the air made him sweat horribly. How in the world did the Dwemer tolerate those kinds of conditions? He really couldn't blame them for going somewhere else.
Such virtue, such bravery! Orintur was not the last to offer aid, and he nodded respectfully to each new volunteer. With such a force, the hellspawn on the streets outside stood no chance, and their garrisoned brethren within the Oblivion gate would not see any greater success. As soon as the door opened, Orintur stepped out of the chapel and on to the scorched roads of Kvatch. Though his helmet's face plate obscured his vision somewhat, the Elf could make out several immediate foes. When the mages summoned more of the lower hell-beasts known as Scamps, Orintur knew exactly who he would dispatch first.
"For Empire and Emperor, and for the glory of the Divines, you will die here, you accursed devils!" Bellowing with zealous rage, Orintur charged the nearest mage with the force of a stampede, stomping on the toes of a Scamp in the process. When the Churl slung a fireball in his direction, Orintur braced his left shoulder, letting it take the brunt of the attack. While it still burned, it was not of the intensity that he experienced years ago when facing the warlock that haunted the roads of Chorrol, and for that he was grateful. With his hammer in prime position to strike, Orintur let forth another bellow as he sent the heavy head of steel crashing down on the shoulder of his foe. The paladin was not satisfied with merely disabling the mage, however. Standing over the Churl, Orintur held his warhammer aloft and sent it down once more with great force, straight into its chest. Blood spewed forth from the Daedra's mouth and the bones within its bosom cracked and shattered, ending its miserable and heretical existence. Its death was quick and not entirely without mercy, and so Orintur viewed his actions as justified. Pacifism was a fruitless, even if noble, endeavor, and there would always need to be someone willing to take up arms and drive away the villains and heretics that sought to harm and destroy the innocent. At that moment, he was that someone.
Turning around to find another enemy, Orintur caught the Scamp he ran over trying to sneakily hop away. The Elf and beast made eye contact for a few moments, and after shifting its eyes about trying to find an escape route, the Scamp began hopping away again...just at a slightly faster pace than before. Striding across the stone street, Orintur was easily able to reach the Scamp, even with its...speedy getaway. Once in range, Orintur sent the hell-beast sprawling across the ground with a sideways blow to its head. He took the heavy bleeding and motionlessness as confirmation that the Scamp was, indeed, dead. Speaking of blood, it was all over his armor...the paladin made a mental note to polish his gear later, especially his chest plate. Sweeping his eyes back towards where his new compatriots were, he was pleased to see that they were all handling themselves quite nicely. The young man and his faithful hound made short and impressive work of a few Scamps and a Clannfear; Orintur would be sure to commend them on their fighting prowess after their party had closed the gate. Which they would, obviously! It was just, well...they had to get in, first.