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Touch of Insanity

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Liz just rolled her eyes at Michael, “I dealt with them longer then I have you. I think I know what I’m doing.” She hissed at him clearly frustrated and upset. She waited a second before turning without a word to start walking into her room which was in the hallway beside Carla’s room. She heard Ethan called out as she made it into the dining room. “Go to fucking hell dickmuncher.” She yelled back before slamming her bedroom door. Liz didn’t know that Ethan was gay, it was just her way of insulting people. She was far from being classy in any sense. In her room she started shuffling around for another blunt, her high gone already from dealing with this mess.

Meanwhile Carla had made it down the three flights of stairs and was on the main floor, in the enclosed section of the stair well before the hallways that connected to the apartments. “I’m pissed off at the world, I’m tired of getting hurt, I’m tired of this pain! No matter what I do, God kicks me in the gut again.” She said before she pressed along the wall crying still as she sat down well fixing her dress, something she still hated wearing. She placed her head in her knees her arms wrapped up around her head partly resting on her knees as well. She didn’t want to do this anymore. She just wanted it to all go away. Why was it so hard to keep on your feet and not run into troubles. Carla would take being poor, working three jobs, hell even having a child to raise on her own over the shit she got dealt.

Honestly, she wasn’t angry with Kimberly, she just didn’t want to show anymore emotions in front of people. Carla had always been enclosed from the world, hiding her feelings and acting how society wanted her to. She may have gone the tomboy root for style, but it was still something society accepted. She smiled at people when she needed to, she talked to people if she must, she even worked in a job where she dealt with people every day. Carla didn’t really pay attention to Kimberly as she sat down beside her, Carla angled her body a little away from the woman trying to set a boundary. Just because this woman thought she knew Carla, and just because Carla now owes her life to this woman from getting her out of the hands of pervy low life’s, she just needed her space. Carla wasn’t good at thank you’s, she wasn’t good at talking to people, she wasn’t good at trusting people. Carla just wanted to be alone in the world, nothing more than being left alone to do her own things without the troubles caused by this terrible world would bring her true happiness. Yes it’d get lonely at times, but it was been then dealing with the world around her.

The two sat there for a long time as Carla cried, only when Carla’s tears started to slow to a stop did Kimberly finally speak. Carla peeked up through her messy hair to the woman beside her. For a moment she just looked before looking away, her arms tensed a little as she stared down at her knees again. She wasn’t going to answer Kimberly’s question, a reoccurring thing Carla seemed to do, but rather replaced the answer with another question. “Why do you care so much? I really have no idea who you are, why would you go out of your way to help me? You’re a mob bosses daughter, what does some random girl have anything to do with you? Shouldn’t it just be about you getting your money back?” She said softly her eyes no longer set in angry, just sadness as she finally stared out in front of her, the heat from the stair well causing her to sweat a little . “It would have been better if you just left me so I could just die in my blind faith that your family should care for you and never harm you. The only person left who cares is now dead to me.” She whispered feeling her tears starting up again.
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Michael snorted at Liz’s comment, he had been dealing with Kimberly since he was born. Still he wasn’t going to leave and miss everything that was going to happen between the group, he just sat back on the couch. Ethan couldn’t help but laugh lightly at Liz’s retort to him. “Make sure to save me a seat in hell puttana” He yelled loudly to her right before she slammed the bedroom door behind her. He looked over at Michael and frowned. “You’re really going to stay here and butt into business that it’s yours?”

“Don’t I always?” Michael answered with a smile as Ethan sighed sitting down in one of the other chairs.

Meanwhile Kimberly was in the enclosed and very claustrophobic section of the stair well with Carla, as she talked about being tired of being hurt and being kicked while she was down. Honestly Kimberly didn’t know what to day to this, there would never be anything that would make Carla feel better about what happened between her and her cousin. So she stayed quiet as Carla spoke and cried, only moving closer and sitting down on the floor beside Carla. She didn’t answer her question and Kimberly was starting to wonder if that was normal for Carla. When Carla moved away it didn’t bother her, in fact she figured that it would happen, and Kimberly respected the space not moving closer.

After the crying slowed to a stop she offered to let Carla stay at her house, and the reaction was slightly surprising to Kimberly. When she asked why she cared, pointing out that she was a mob bosses daughter, and asking why it didn’t just matter about the money for her, Kimberly stared at her frowning for a moment before letting out a snort of derision before rolling her eyes and looking away. “Yes Carla, because that is all I ever care about, the money. The fact that my father is a mob boss means that neither I nor my brothers have a heart at all. We just run away killing and making people suffer for no reason but the fun of it.” She muttered annoyed, this thought logic was the reason she kept her real life away from the people around her, pretending to be someone else.

“And because you live in the ghetto surrounded by gangs that means that you are either trash, a druggy of Michael’s, or a puttana that should be not working the streets for him right? I’m afraid not everyone is so black and white, mio caro.” She said before looking back at her, Kimberly didn’t answer her question about why she wanted to help her at first. Mainly before she was pretty sure that if Carla didn’t remember her, it was likely she didn’t remember how much Carla had helped her when everything went to hell. What was said next though made Kimberly sigh loudly looking at the woman beside her. “I care so much because over a year ago you helped me.”Kimberly finally answered laughing lightly as she added. “In that crappy little diner you probably still work at. Believe it or not I know what’s right, repaying help from others is one of them.”

~~~


Over a year ago Kimberly had been in a bad place herself, perhaps not as bad as Carla was in right but it felt like her life was crashing down around her, it all started a month before when she met Carla. After all her family had always known that she was slightly different, but they had never had proof. Somehow despite the fact that Kimberly hadn’t yet come out of the close her brother found out that she was gay. Instead of thinking like a brother should, he stuck his noise full force into her truth and told her father during family dinner for her father’s birthday, the news was not as big of a deal to her mother, but her father reacted strongly in a bad way to it, even though she claimed that this wasn’t true, that she was bi. His only daughter wasn’t perfect as he liked to believe and tried as hard as he could to force her to be, even if those words weren’t actually said it was clear in his reaction, their bond would be ruined forever. Shortly after she moved from living with her father and mother, moving in with her girlfriend at the time Dawn, not far from the diner, and started drinking.

The day before she met Carla, she and Dawn had been drinking and Dawn decided to tell Kimberly the truth. This was that she was the reason Michael knew the truth, she was actually one of the whores that worked the street for him, and Dawn couldn’t tell her the truth before because she was in love with Kimberly. Things escalated quickly from there ending up in a fight between the two, Kimberly possibly….punching a few holes in the wall instead of hitting Dawn for ruining her life, and Dawn leaving. The rest of the night Kimberly sent binge drinking. In the morning Ethan came and dragged Kimberly out of the apartment to a shitty diner down the street.

Telling her that she drunk called him saying she was going to do like her father would, and burn the apartment down, so she would be ruin of anything that belonged to Dawn. However he was called away right after they sat down, leaving her some money so she would get something to eat and could pay. Now she sat at the table, her back towards the wall as she waited from the waitress to get around to her finally.

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When she told Carla that where she lived no one could be a good person it just pissed Carla off, she had lived in areas like this all her life but when she was living on the farm when her Uncle was still alive. Even when her mother was alive, they lived in the bad part of town, but that didn’t make her mother a bad person, their father just fucked them over. She stared angrily out in front of them as if the little piece of wall she looked at would make all the world’s pain go away. When Kimberly carried on, Carla finally glanced over, her gaze soft, the hurt still lingering within, but she was showing how she was confused and still didn’t remember the girl sitting beside her. When Kimberly knew where she worked through Carla’s eyes widened a little before she looked away, she played with a bit of the fabric of her dress as she stared back at the wall. “I’m sorry. . . I really don’t remember. But. . . even if I don’t. . . I’m glad someone as depressed and hateful and just. . . just stupid was able to help. . .” She was quiet as she started to tear back up again, she glanced at Kimberly again. “Thank you for saving me.” She finally said before she leaned over and wrapped her arms awkwardly around the girl beside her and started to cry. “Sorry for being such a bitch, I don’t deserve your kindness.” She whispered.

~~~


“Please Carla, I really, really, really need a smoke. I promise all you have to do is take the table with the couple that just walked in. I’ll even give you one of the tips from my other tables.” One of the waitress begged who was no longer working at the Diner today. Carla frowned deeply as she was in the back washing dishes before sighing.

“You know the last time I severed a table I dropped a coffee pot and burned a ground of guys and myself.” She reminded the woman.

“But it’s only a woman and I guy! I’m sure they’ll be so much nice, what if you give you a twenty from my tips today?” The woman asked again making Carla sigh.

“Fine, but just this table, and if the guy is an asshat I’m telling James and you’ll have to finish the table and still give me the money.” She said as she reached over to start drying her hands.

“Thank you!” the woman beamed going into hug Carla but she moved back and the women remember Carla didn’t like being touched. The woman awkwardly laughed and let her arms drop before moving to the back to go for her smoke. Throwing the towel over to the side Carla pulled off her dirty apron from doing dishes and grabbed another one. The uniform was rather basic, black pants with a black top, a white apron.

Carla pulled the awkward super small ponytail from her hair and let it fall to the top of her shoulders. She looked at the mirror and running her fingers through it a few times before grabbing a note pad and walking out. She could see James eyeing her carefully on her way back, she twisted back and looked at him. “Don’t worry I’ll be careful. Carrie needed a smoke.” She said before letting the swing down fall shut behind her almost hitting her on the way out, James was there shaking his head. Carla was the only one who didn’t smoke there and so people liked to abuse her non-smoke breaks so they could take their own.

Carla looked around for the couple and frowned before walking over to the host spot to over look the tables, a table of two where there was only a woman. Carla shrugged it off and thought the man had gone to the bathroom. Carla came up to the table and noticed, the woman looked exhausted, bags under her eyes, but what others would have brushed off was the deep depression lingering in the woman. It was haunting like Carla’s that she kept hidden behind a mask of indifference and fear.

“Ah, umm. I’m Carla and I’ll be your sever for today. Is there something I can start you off with?” She asked not wanting to ask if the woman was alright just yet.

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Kimberly’s words hadn’t really been to say that where Carla lived no one could be a good person, true that might have sounded like what she was saying, she was annoyed that Carla thought she was heartless after all. However that wasn’t what she meant at all, what she had meant was that if Carla believed she was a bad heartless person because of whom she was and who her father was, just like everyone else did. Then Carla would have to believe what people thought of her because of where she lived and who she was around. Not everyone was exactly as everyone like to believe, Carla was judging her because of who she seemed, not who she was.

When Carla said again that she didn’t remember, Kimberly frowned looking down at her hands sadly, nodding slightly. It was very horrible feeling being forgotten completely, even more so from a person that helped you. When Carla glanced back at her, she would still be looked down at her hands, she opened her mouth to return a thank you actually before feeling Carla lean over and hug her. The hug was a utter surprise and at first her body tensed up as it got a hug from someone who just the night before called her crazy. Though she quickly relaxed as Carla started crying against her shoulder, a softly smile spread on her lips at Carla’s words and she softly rubbed her back.

“Io sono solo quello che la situazione mi fa.” She whispered in her ear softly before tucking some of Carla’s hair behind her ear gently and translating herself so Carla could understand. “It means. I'm just what the situation makes me.” She sat there in Carla’s embrace as long as she could, not moving, other than rubbing her back. “Are you going to answer my question mio caro? Do you want to stay with me for a while?” She finally asked softly.

~~~


Even though Kimberly was sitting alone in the quiet diner, nothing was quiet to her. The sound of doors opening, forks and spoons scrapping their plates, and the people talking around sounded as if they were screaming each every single sound was twenty times louder. Ah the enjoys of a hangover, Kimberly was sure feeling them her head feeling as if someone was taking a jackhammer to it. Taking a deep breath Kimberly closed her eyes to try making it all go away.

As a result she didn’t even hear the waitress come up to her, at the sudden voice Kimberly jumped looking at the woman in a panic, her eyes slightly puffy from the hangover. Though that was quickly replaced with a friendly smile, a try at making the woman not see just how depressed and exhausted she really was, completely unaware that the woman in front of her could already tell. “Shh…please. You are being so loud Carla.” She almost whispered in a bagging tone, then looking at her menu.

Staring at it for a full minute clearly having trouble concentrating before giving up, and sliding the menu away Kimberly looked down and rubbed her eyes. “Can I…I please get an apple juice and a spinch egg omelet?” She finally answered her voice shaking a little bit, Kimberly couldn’t even concentrate long enough to read a fucking menu? What was she stupid?! She fought the urge to start crying again and leave to get drunk again, after all that would make everything better, it would make everything she felt right now dull or go away. Luckily she had managed to order three of the things to help a hangover without knowing it.
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Kimberly’s hand came up to Carla’s back and started to rub her back. It didn’t help but it was something people just did when others were upset. For the really was no way of cheering someone up. When Kimberly spoke she didn’t stop crying, only did she finally glance up when Kimberly re-asked if Carla wanted to stay with her. At first Carla didn’t know what to think, so she closed her brown eyes and nodded her head. She let her head come to rest on Kimberly’s shoulder, as she took in a shaky breath. “AI-I-I know. . . this is going to sound stupid. . . but please promise not to get mad?” Carla said pausing in responses, her lips pressed together in a firm line, the tears dripping from her face to land on Kimberly. “What’s your name again?” It may have been said again since Kimberly told Carla who she was, but through the mass of emotional stress, the lack of care in the woman or her name and the drugged up mess she had become, it had just escaped her. She felt bad, worst even, because Kimberly somehow knew her and Carla did something to help Kimberly, but she had no idea what she did or who Kimberly was. To Carla it had just been another faceless face at work.

~~~


Just as Carla started to speak, the woman jumped cutting her short as she jumped too. The pen in her hand went flying back, making Carla try and grab it thus causing her to drop her note pad, before the pen finally clattered to the floor, Carla blushed deeply, bending down quickly to grab the notepad that was at her feet, as she stood up again she said, “I-I-umm-sorry.” She then took in a deep breath, well the woman was telling her to shush, followed by her name. How did she know her name?! Then Carla realized she had a name tag on, it always threw her off, then again had she gotten through her name before Carla had cut herself off? “Ah-ah-I-umm sorry.” She stuttered off again seeing how upset the woman was. Trying not to make too much eye contact she glanced behind her shoulder to see her pen on the floor almost taunting her for being so jumpy. Carla couldn’t help but blush all the more as she glared back down at it. “Sorry, I kinda dropped my pen, just a second.” She said before turning around and walking just a little bit before bending over to pick up the pen. Looking at it she sighed and turned around and walked back up to the table. The woman was looking at the menu her eyebrows pulled together as if it was in Japanese

So to kill some time as the woman thought, Carla couldn’t help but glance around for this so called guy that was meant to be with her. Once she had glanced over the front door and the area were the bathrooms she glanced back to the woman before her, deciding she could at least get the drinks started. “Ah, so what would you like to start off with?” Carla said knowing usually if someone disappeared they came back in a minute, so a drink could be a nice starter. The woman fumbled with what to get. Carla was almost about to suggest some extra time When the woman ordered in full. Carla wrote it down and then glanced around, she bite her lip. She hoped the woman wasn’t upset because of the man, but Carla had to ask. “Ah, is there something I can get for the man that was with you. . . .?” It wasn’t right to just put on order in, sure getting drinks was one thing, but the food should come all at once, James would flip if Carla didn’t wait to place the order and if she waited she was totally going to lose it.
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When Carla looked up and nodded yes to staying with her before resting her head on Kimberly’s shoulder, she couldn’t help but smile happily because as bad as it sounded, she had gotten what she wanted. Of course luckily Carla didn’t see it. The breathing against her shoulder gave Kimberly cold chills but she figured if she tried to move Carla would also, however she shivered slightly from the chills unable to stop the uncontrollable reaction. Kimberly looked at the woman resting her head on her shoulder from the corner of her eye would asked to promise not to get mad. “Okay….I promise.” She answered tensely unsure of what Carla was going to ask, if she even dared to ask for Liz to come along, which would really have been stupid.

Kimberly knew she would never be able to keep that promise. Instead she laughed lightly at the question, not because she thought Carla was stupid, but because it was not at all what she thought would be asked after all Ethan had said her name at least five times since she told Carla. “My names Kimberly, though if it’s easier you can call me Kim. Everyone seems to anyway.” She was quiet and still for a while longer before she had to shift legs slightly so she wasn’t sitting on them. “I…have too…um” She muttered softly before she moved. Ethan was likely getting tired of waiting for them. “Do you want to tell me want you want to bring? I can have Ethan take you back while I get it.” She offered though Carla annoyed Ethan, of course he didn’t understand, he had left her alone at the time.

~~~


Kimberly hadn’t meant to scare the waitress with her jumpiness, she watched the woman in front of her drop both her pen and notepad. If she wasn’t afraid that the world would start spinning, she would have tried to help her. Instead she just offered a friendly smile at the girl when she stood up, before begging her not to be so loud. She had looked at the nametag when Carla stood up. At the mention of the pen Kimberly’s green eyes glanced up at her before looking back at the menu, trying unbelievably hard to read it, with no luck. Having ordered she closed her eyes to rest them again before Carla said something about the man with her.

Kimberly looked up at her confused for a moment, looking at the sit across from her, then the door, and back at Carla before it clicked that she was talking about Ethan. Kimberly shook her head slightly, which wasn’t a good idea at all and made her look back at the table. “No, he got called away and left.” She said disappointed almost, company would have been the least he could have done after dragging her away from her bed this morning. “Do…do I have to move to a single table now? Because they just look um surrounded….I would really rather not be there.” She asked looking at the single tables that sat in the middle, people moving around the people sitting there, sitting in the booths around them talking so loudly to their friends, enjoying their lives, in her mood it almost make her…sick, or maybe that was the hangover. She looked up at the waitress waiting for answer.
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“Kimberly.” She said softly as if trying to remember the name. Carla stared at the floor, still resting her head on the woman’s shoulder, their arms touching even in Carla’s curled up position. After a moment of silence she smiled a little. “You know, that doesn’t sound very Italian mobster like.” She laughed softly before pressing her lips into a thin line. “Then again, I couldn’t say I really know any Italian names off the top of my head.” She finished happy with just that little bit of conversation. It was the longest conversation they had, had since Carla had been picked up by Kimberly. Well, longest in the sense that she wasn’t crying, or screaming. Carla would have been happy just to sit there the rest of the day. She let her eyes slowly flutter close, almost feeling safe beside the daughter of one of the most dangerous mob leaders. It was a nice feeling, something she hadn’t had in a long time. She really didn’t want the moment to end.

However, the moment ended too soon, when Kimberly started to move. Carla let her plain brown eyes open to stare at the ugly brown wall across from them. She shifted slightly, before finally pulling her head up from Kimberly’s shoulder. Her eyes drifted from the wall to over her knees. She could see the point of her toes sticking out from under the dress, the dress which she had partly forgotten she was wearing. Her hands tensed around one another for a second as if hugging her knees tighter into her chest. She could feel her eyes starting to tear up again at the thoughts of going back up stairs. The pain of the betrayal starting to sink back in. Her heart started to pick up, a sharp pain deep inside her welling up. The tears spilled over. “Just-“ She paused her mind not working at the speed she wanted it too. “Just get her out. Then I’ll come back up for my stuff.” She whispered softly.

~~~


“Oh. . . “ She said softly griping the notepad and pen feeling more awkward now. The woman seemed so upset. What did she do at this point? “I’m sorry.” She whispered thinking maybe that would make things a little bit better. When the woman spoke again, Carla’s hands came up and waved quickly. “Oh! No, no, no! I-I-I just. . .I just wanted to make sure I had the full order before putting it in.” She said pressing her lips together in a firm line before glancing to the side. “I didn’t want you to get your food before, ah, him. Sorry. . . the other waitress asked me to take her table.” She started to say wondering why she was doing this. She bite her lip a little. “I’m really only a dishwasher, so. . . so I don’t always know what I’m doing.” She said with a soft laugh and a soft blush. “But yeah. I’ll go put your order in and bring-“ She paused to reread the order. “Apple juice.” She finished before smiling awkwardly at the woman before quickly turning away and heading into the kitchen with her head down.

The chef looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Well?” He said pausing his work to watch Carla.

Carla blushed deeper, “I hate going out there.” The chef laughed.

“Well then why didn’t you say no?”

“Because I’m too nice.” He laughed again, making her shoot a glare up at him.

“You’re still adorable when you blush.” He grinned before turning back to his work. Carla stuck her tongue out at him from behind his back and pushed her order forward for him to read. She walked over to the juice machine and filled up the glass. She made sure to get a big one for the woman knowing the woman was really out of sorts. When she had the glass she pressed up on her tip toes to peek through the glass at the woman. Carla sighed softly, making the chef notice. “Something wrong?”

She shook her head as to answer no. “It’s just. . . she seems so. . . upset. I don’t know how to interact with her.” The chef rose an eyebrow before walking out of the kitchen to peek through the glass over Carla’s head.

“Well she’s cute.”

Carla blushed deeply. “What does that have to do with anything.”

“why don’t you see if she wants someone to talk to? I’ll get Candi to bring the food out and do your dishes.” He said making her glance up at him and he was grinning at her.

“Why would you do that? Cause I don’t want my break just yet.”

He laughed. “Think of it as payback for making you deal with someone well she went back to text the boyfriend. She didn’t even go outside.” Carla sighed.

“Fine.”

“Go get her girl.”

Carla rolled her eyes before walking back out and coming up to the table and placing the apple juice down and holding out the straw for her. Carla was blushing a little. “Ah. . .would. Wouldyoulikesomecomany?” She said the last part so quickly it seemed all her words mixed together. She bite her lip again. “Sorry if that’s umm, inappropriate, you just. . . seem like you want some company.” She said well looking at her feet rocking a little from her toes to the heels of her feet.
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A slight smile lit her face as Carla repeated her name softly, head still resting on her shoulder. Even though she was enjoying the little bit of conversation, she was enjoy the fact Carla wasn’t crying for once. She let out a soft laugh as it was pointed out her name didn’t sound Italian, that was true, her mother named her and her brothers American names so that they could fit in here. In Italy their names were weird to the others. “That’s the reason we have American names. My mother’s name is Simona, very Italian mobster like.” She answered, smiling from ear to ear. The girl relaxed against her shoulder slowing, and while this was nice and relaxing to her as well, she just couldn’t block the pressure on her legs from sitting like this.

As soon as she did move however she wished that she hadn’t, she looked over at Carla hugging her knees again. When she asked about the stuff, she fought the urge to sigh as Carla started crying again. “Umm…..” Kimberly said looking up the stairs thoughtfully, how was she to get Liz out of the apartment without going past Carla? “Is there another set of stairs to this building?” She asked looking back to Carla. Before taking her phone out and texting Ethan, asking where Liz was. “I’d much whether not bring her down around you, and I still have business with her.” She added, true with Carla it wasn’t just about the money. However with Liz it was, the bitch still owed her money.
~~~


When the waitress said she was sorry, it of course didn’t help, mainly because Ethan leaving hadn’t been the main reason she was upset. Still she gave the woman a fake smile before asking if she had to move to a single table. Luckily she didn’t have to move, and she watched the Carla babble on about being a dishwasher and not a waitress and blushing. As she listened the fake smile turning into a real one. “ Grazie.” She said as the girl walked away, after watching the woman go to the back, Kimberly closed her eyes once more. Trying to relax or at least block out the noise around her. Feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket, she pulled it out flipping through the about twenty texts that Dawn had sent since last night.

“I’m coming back to the apartment. I want to work this out, please.” The most recent one said, making Kimberly roll her eyes sadly, because there was nothing Dawn could do that could fix what she had done. Pushing the power button, a glass was sat down on the table and a straw handed to her.“Grazie” She said softly looking up to see her blushing, the question was so low and ran together, Kimberly almost missed it completely. So she simply raised an eyebrow until she added the last part, looking behind Carla, she saw the cook peeking through the glass at them.

“Sure, if he won’t get you in trouble.” She laughed softly before nodding her head towards the cook watching. She gestured towards the table smiling halfheartedly. “Company sounds nice. I’m Kimberly by the way.” She added as she did, thinking it only fair to tell her name as well. This was of course slightly awkward, normally Kimberly was the people person, but right now her head hurt too badly for that. Taking a sip of her juice she sighed quietly, looking up at the woman blushing awkwardly. “Is it that apparent?” She asked sadly, she had tried her hardest to seemed fine.
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When Kimberly asked if there were another set of stairs, Carla looked at her puzzled well nodding her head. Of course there was another set of stairs, did she think a whole building in a fire would fight their way down one set of stairs? Then again, maybe Kimberly didn’t know much about apartment life, or well her apartment building. “On the other end of the hallway.” She said softly her chin resting on her knees again as she let her eyes glance back blankly before her. It took her mind a minute to fully hear and understand the rest of what Kimberly was saying. “Business.” She repeated softly, no emotion in her voice before she closed her eyes.

“About the money she owes?” Carla couldn’t help but whisper. Her grip around her legs tightened as her body started to shake a little. “Wh-wh-what about. . . the.. . . money she got. . . for.” She swallowed trying not to chock on her own spit. But not matter how hard she tried she couldn’t get out the ‘me’ in the question. Would Liz’s bad ways really pay of her debt? If it did, how much? Then it suddenly hit Carla like a brick wall her eyes opening wide horror over taking her tense and fearful body. Slowly she glanced up at Kimberly. “Do-do-do I owe you. . .?” She whispered once again unable to finish her question. It was her worst nightmare. Not only was she dealing with the mob that Hale tried his damnest for her not to get stuck with, but now, she owed money and her life to the mob boss daughter.

~~~


As Carla came up to the table and placed the glass on the table, she bite her lip a little before holding out the straw for the woman. She really thought this was a stupid idea. She was starting to doubt the idea altogether, but then she really looked at the woman, rather then the straw she was holding out. She looked like crap, exhausted, and totally unhappy. Carla could see a reflection of herself in that woman. Her body pressed up into the closet of clothing, her back on the wall as she wrapped her arms around her legs and cried into her knees. Her body was covered head to toe, so not a piece of skin but on her face was exposed.

She shook away the memory and took in a deep breath before finally asking the woman to sit with her. The woman looked up at her confused, the full pain that she was hiding inside her body becoming clearer. However, the woman didn’t just look at Carla but pass her, making Carla glance back as well, the chef bumping the door a little as he ducked. Carla blushed deeply. “I’mma kill him.” She muttered before peeked back at the woman who was looking up at her, Carla’s cheeks still red from her boss embarrassing stunt. Carla almost missed Kimberly’s name as she cursed herself and her boss for this really bad idea. She had a feeling the chef had a faint idea as to why she disliked males and seemed to be more comfortable around women. He also knew Carla didn’t go out, and it was just her, Liz and Jem her dog. He was always telling her to get out and live life more, make friends. Every now and then he would invite Carla over for dinner with him and his wife who was currently pregnant with their first child.

Carla smile a little still embarrassed. “Carla.” She said before realising Kimberly already knew that her and blush flared up again. “Right, you already knew that.” She said softly before slipping into the seat across from Kimberly. Carla’s lips pressed into a thin line as her hands came to rest on top of the table, keeping close to the edge as she stared at them. She didn’t want to move too much into the woman’s space, and once again she was wishing she could take this all back and go hide in the back again. “Oh right!” She said before her hands came up to cover her mouth. “Sorry.” She whispered remembering the girl was currently dealing with a bad hang over, or what she believe was. Her hands came down to rest on her lap under the table, she stared at the swirls of colour on the table top. “He said it was fine. In fact, he enjoys when I want to talk to. . . anyone.” She said softly before peeking back up towards the door to see him peeking again before she scowled at him making him laugh a little before heading back to work. “I’m starting to think he’ll bring your food himself just so he can spy.” She said before glancing back and remembering why she wanted to sit with Kimberly in the first place.

Her scowl faded into a slightly depressed look. “ah. . .maybe? I-I mean I notice things that others, er, don’t? I’m overly observant I guess. . . “ She said trailing off. “ I mean. . . you don’t have to talk about it, or anything. I can just sit here.” She paused again glancing out the window her hair falling into her face a little making her one hand come up to push it up behind her ear. “Life can really suck sometimes.” She finished watching the people walk about their day as if everything was normal. Someone could be having the best day of their life, someone could be thinking about killing themselves, someone could be losing their job or someone they care about, well someone could have just got a raised or gave birth to a child. There was always a time for happiness and a time for deep pains of the soul.
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Kimberly nodded her head as Carla repeated the word business beside her, though she seriously doubted that Liz had the money before she had seen Michael was there. Now there was no doubt the stupid puttana had been using the money to buy drugs, gamble, and whatever else she used the money that didn’t belong to her. “I really doubt that she still has the money that she got from you honestly, she has probably used it as she always does when she was supposed to pay me.” Kimberly answered still looking at her phone, before looking back to Carla sitting beside her, Michael usually preferred his pay to come in one of two ways, money or sex, and from the way he had been acting it seemed he thought he was getting paid with the later.

“Well technically……yes you do owe me hundred eighty thousand dollars, I’ll have to ask Ethan since he was the one that finished…..” She answered though she stopped herself from saying he was the one who bid on her, as it seemed much more heartless in her mind. “He was the one that made sure I got you instead of one of the other people. I can’t stay in there it smelt like a puttana house.” She finished before her phone dinged with an answer from Ethan, Kimberly pursed her lips looking down at it. “But you don’t have to worry about the money you owe me, your cousin is going to pay it for you as well as her own debt.” She told Carla with a smirk before standing up and wiping the dirt from the nasty floor off of her dress.

Really she didn’t have the power to make Liz pay off Carla’s debt, or at least not without her father’s say on the matter. Kimberly really doubted that Liz would know this though and knew Carla didn’t for sure. As long as her father and brothers didn’t find out, than Liz would have to pay the debt she caused even though it wasn’t hers. “I’m going to get your cousin out of the apartment. Ethan will come get you when she is gone.” She added giving Carla a soft smile before walking up the steps and into the apartment. Seeing her brother still sitting on the couch she glared at him.

“What the hell are you still doing here?”

“Why would I leave and miss everything?”

Kimberly rolled her eyes at Michael. “Whatever just stay out of my damn way.” She told him as she pasted the couch, heading back the hall to Liz’s room, knocking on the door roughly opening the door before she could answer. “Come on. We are leaving so Carla can get her stuff.” She told her loudly.

~~~


Kimberly smiled widely as Carla muttered about the cook, before she looked at her blushing and Kimberly gestured towards the table. Though she already knew Carla’s name from the name tag, she wasn't the one to point that out, but Carla herself. “Yeah, I kinda figured by the name tag. But still.” She said laughing softly gesturing to it on her shirt. The woman was suddenly so loud and Kimberly couldn't help but jump a bit looking up at her from the apple juice. It was strange to think of someone pushing another to be friendly, her family wasn't friendly unless they needed something from the person.

With a smile she looked behind her when she heard the door to the kitchen close. "Well I guess it's nice that your boos tries to make you talk to people. It's always better to have someone on your side. Right?" She added looking down at her and smiling awkwardly. “Ah…I see. Well hopefully that is the only reason that you can tell. And then that isn't the only reason you wanted to sit with me.” She said softly looking at her drink frowning seeing the depressed look on the girls face matched her own. The idea that even an overly observant person could see how sad she was made her feel even worse, it made her feel like the weak little girl her brothers said she was.

“It isn't life that sucks but the selfish people that use others that sucks.” She answered the girl across from her sadly, looking out the window. "It's seems you can't trust anyone anymore, family or the people you date. If there is something to gain from fucking you over, their do it." She said her voice a whisper as she narrowed her eyes looking out the window so well, at the happy and busy normal people, it made her sick and she looked at the girl across from her frowning before shaking her head and sighing. "Though my family isn't the very trustworthy type anyway." She added with an almost bitter laugh, as the actual waitress that should have been at her table brought her food to her table, though Kimberly didn't even look up at her as she muttered a grazie. She hold her fork over the omelet and looked at Carla smiling. "Vuoi la metà?" She asked before clearing her throat, even though she been in America for a few years, something she still had trouble remembering to say something in English. "Do you want half?"
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At first when Kimberly started talking Carla just felt the sadness and pain growing stronger and stronger as she sat beside Kimberly. The idea of this kind of betrayal was too much for her. Frist her father, then the monster, then Hale, then Liz and now she felt like she couldn’t trust anything. She was alone in the world with no one to help her. Everything she believed in had been shattered over and over again. She felt a sob roll from her lips as she was losing control. Father’s should love mothers and care about families, no one should be robbed of their innocence, no one should hide their dark side because it’ll always come to hurt the people closes to you and lastly. . . even family can’t be trusted not to stab you in the back in the worst manor possible. When Kimberly brought up the price she was sold floor her arms wrapped even tighter around her body, her hands turned white from the pressure.

Carla was happy at the sound of the phone going off, it meant she could be alone. Being alone is how she had always suffered. Hiding in the darkness of a tight space because she knew nothing but the things clustered around her could get her. At moments like that, the world would just fade away into the darkness of pain and depression as she would struggle not to just end this all. She had so much to live for and yet going through each day was still a struggle. Even the good days. As Kimberly told Carla not to worry about the debt, Carla still didn’t look up her grip still tight around her body. It made breathing hard to breath. She let out a random laugh but it was at the thought that she was surprised with herself for not breaking into the panic attack that always followed. She knew it was lingering waiting for just the right second to hit her hard. She had a feeling it was the drugs in her system that stopped the panic attack. Even through everything not once had her heart started to race. Things were still slow and this slowing effect just made this whole thing so much worst.

When Kimberly finally left, Carla slowly lifted her head to look at the stairs her eyes bright red from crying, her hair still a mess from not brushing or drying it. Her body was sticky with her own sweat but at least the fever was gone. Slowly standing up she looked at the stairs before slowly glancing down the dim light hallway, the glass door at the end like a light at the end of the tunnel. Taking in a deep breath, she rushed towards the door and almost hit someone on her way out the door as she left the property and just ran down the road. She didn’t know where she was going, she wasn’t even thinking at that very moment, but her body was screaming at her to just run.
~~~

Meanwhile upstairs Liz was still in her room she had lit up two different smokes and took turns dragging on both. She sat on her bed, trying to just numb herself to get away from everything she had fucked up in her life and was going to keep fucking up in her life because that was the type of person she was, no matter how much she said she’d change it meant nothing. She made others believe that there was hope for she had no issue with her own way of life. Laying back on her bed she glared up at the ceiling for a moment before rolling over on her bed. A hate for Carla welling up in her heart. No matter what happened around Carla she was always the good person everyone wished to be. She could do no wrong.

When a knocks hit the door Liz sat up and glared over at Kimberly. “You can’t just fucking walk in here you stupid bitch this is still my apartment. Get the fuck out!” She hissed at Kimberly before taking a drag of both her smokes at once, holding their smoke in her body for a long time before slowly letting the white cloud roll from between her lips. “I’m not fucking leaving, just take that 10,000.” She said with a wave towards the desk where a bag held the money she had planned to give Kim, after all the mob weren’t the only people she owed money, she may owe them the most, but it was better to pay off the smaller ones with only chipping away with the largest one. That and she was keeping some for herself. A girl’s gotta have fun and money to live off of after all.
~~~

After bring up Luke and how he’d spy on them to see how Carla was doing, she glanced away from the small smile on the woman’s face, she shifted awkwardly in her spot almost feeling trapped. However, a sad look came into her eyes as she stared down at the table top. “Yeah, I guess.” She said softly, Carla had little to no faith in people, even those who put on the masks of happy, caring and friendly. It could all be a lie. No one could be trusted because everyone lies even if they are the closest people to you and who care the most to you. Carla realized her depression starting to show too much and shook it off a little by trying to bring things back to Kimberly. After all things were not about Carla right now, it was about someone who was suffering and needed help. Although not all people can be saved but Carla didn’t want someone even more so a woman to fall into the same doom she had.

Carla bit her lip a little as the brought up how she realized Kimberly was off her game. Carla glanced back down at the table, her body yet again shifting in the same awkward way. “Ah, well.” She paused before slowly glancing up at the woman all seriousness on her face. “I know very well what it’s like to hurt and I don’t wish this kind of pain on anyone.” She said her voice starting off rather strong before slowly getting softer and more depressed again her sadness leaking in before she glanced away to the edge of the table towards the open dining room. “The world is so amazing with so many great things in it. Sure there is a lot of bad things that are out there and be fall on people who don’t deserve it, but it’s best to try and push through it and keep going on each day and get that smile back on your face as soon as you can. Even if at first, the smile is fake or weak one day it’ll easily come back to what it was. Sometimes it just takes one person to do that.” She said with a bit of a smile. “For me that’s my big brother and well my dog Jem.” She said her smile getting bigger as she thought of the two before shaking her head. “But today isn’t about me, let’s make it about you.” She finished her smile still rather big from the memories of her brother and her dog. Glancing out the window her hair falling into her face a little making her one hand come up to push it up behind her ear. “Life can really suck sometimes.”
“It isn't life that sucks but the selfish people that use others that sucks. It's seems you can't trust anyone anymore, family or the people you date. If there is something to gain from fucking you over, their do it.”

Carla fell quiet for a moment, thinking it over a little before Kimberly carried on and brought up her family not being very trust worthy. “Well to be honest, I don’t trust many people. It can be really lonely at times, but over time as you test people keep them at the distance to save yourself you’ll see that one, two or three people can slowly be those that you can trust. Sure no one is perfect and will still lie, but things they’ll do won’t be to hurt you but do them because they want you to be happy.” She said glancing away from the window. “A good start is usually a pet if you can get one. Even a fish. I remember my brother got me a fish once, it was one of those kinds that have to be alone or they’ll kill others of their own type. A beta fish! It died after about two months, but it was a nice test run for me to take care of the dog more. Sure he looked over my shoulder but slowly I learned to take care of it.” She paused realizing how off track she got and blushed deeply. “I got kinda off track there didn’t I?” She said peeking up through her bangs at Kimberly.

The waitress then showed up at the table placing the plate down in front of Kimberly making Carla glance over, the waitress glaring down at Carla clearly pissed off. Carla shifted and glanced away clearly uncomfortable. First of all Carla was only about 19 at the time, the woman clearly older and much more of the ideal shape of a woman. Carla looked more like a 16 year old then a 19 year old. She had that young cute look about her, but her shape was rather boxy and boy like, but that didn’t mean she still wasn’t pretty, she just had no idea of her own beauty. When Kimberly then spoke in another language Carla glanced up a little confused. Carla could understand most of Spanish from the neighbourhood she lived in but couldn’t speak it. But that wasn’t Spanish. Smiling a little when the woman corrected herself she shook her head. “No thank you I think you should have it to yourself. I’m sure the chef will bring someone out randomly if I or umm we sit here long enough.” She said with a soft airy laugh. She couldn’t help but glance up at the door wondering if Luke was watching them again, but it seemed like for now he was working like he should be and like how she should be.

Glancing back at Kimberly she smiled a little. “What language was that by the way?” She said before letting their conversation flow for a bit before asking another question. “How’s the food?” She said with a bit of a smile. They may be a cheap little crappy diner but the food was damn good.
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Kimberly frowned looking at Liz laying on her bed smoking two different blunts, the whole room stunk of weed and . It was a wonder how Carla could stand to live in this apartment when she didn’t do drugs, the smell alone was enough to make Kimberly sick. Or maybe that was that she just so happened to be in the same room as a lying bitch that she couldn’t stand? Either way she tried to keep a level head, though it wasn’t the easiest thing to do when Liz called her a bitch. Kimberly laughed darkly as she looked at Liz. “How are you going to make me leave Liz? Call the cops and tell them you owe the mob money? If you can get a hold of one that isn’t in my pocket, though…..I think we’ve been over this.” Kimberly said her voice dark but controlled. No, there was no way that Liz could make her leave, this should have been told to Liz when they first made their deal, though perhaps she had been to fucked up to remember.

Kimberly raised an eyebrow looking over at the bag of money that Liz gestured to, slightly surprised that Liz actually had the money that she owed. Or well, had some of the she owed though it didn’t even put her close to how much she owed now, that was of course not counting Carla. Kimberly frowned though going to the dresser, licking her thumb and forefinger she counted through the money making sure it was $10,000 even before putting it in her purse.

She then turned her head to look at Liz a smile creeping its way onto her face before she let a ticking sound come from her lips as she partied them slightly. “Tisk tisk mio carlo, that is so far from the amount that you owe me.” Even though she tried to hide the strange amount of joy she felt right now, it was hard and some of it seeped through into her tone. “You can’t think $10,000 would make up for how deep you are, do you? Let alone the 180,000 extra you now owe me for saving your cousin.” She added.

Coming over to the bed, pushing her legs off the bed roughly before sighing. “Now you’re pissing me off puttana. So get your ass up and lets leave so Carla can get her shit like I said. Or Ethan will make you leave!” She yelled at Liz getting quite tired of having to deal with Liz and the fact she acted like Kimberly couldn’t do anything to her. If Kimberly was the killer of the family, Liz would have been gone by now, but she would leave that up to Dimitri. Ethan came to the doorway hearing Kimberly yell his name.

“Andiamo Liz, get your ass up.” Kimberly added frowning as she gestured towards the bedroom door.

~~~


Kimberly couldn't help but let out short but bitter laugh at the waitresses words about not wanting to see someone else in pain. She had never met someone who didn't want another person to be in some kind of pain, it wasn't very common in the circles of people she was always around. "Well you're first person I've ever met that didn't want that." She muttered softly before looking up at Carla frowning. "Sorry that was crueler than I meant it to be." She added quickly and loudly not wanting her company to leave, oddly having someone around to talk to made her feel a little better, even more so that she didn't even know Carla.

She smiled widely as Carla talked about her brother and dog. Kimberly had only once had a dog, though it was before she came to America and it was a gift from her uncle. However it attacked one of her older brothers and her father gave it back. Or at least that was what he told her at that time. Soon Kimberly was pointing out that it was the selfish people in life that made things suck. Which was true, it only took two selfish people to ruin her life. She even went so far as to point out that her family wasn't very trust worthy, something was a lot easier to say to someone she didn't know.

Carla started talking about herself and the fish that she had before her dog, and Kimberly listened intently as she smiled brightly. Though Carla said she had gotten off track it was interesting to hear the girl talk, about what she did to make herself able to make herself a little more trusting of people, and how to take care of her dog. Kimberly gave a soft laugh shaking her head as the girl in front of her peeked through her bangs at her. “That’s alright, that is a really good idea but…..” She shook her head again. “I’m afraid I am going to try and move in with the friend that dropped me off. And he is afraid of dogs.” She said before making a ticking sound as the other waitress came up to the table.

Kimberly looked up at the waitress, her eyes instantly looking the woman over. But she was now single and so truly she wasn’t hurting anything. Looking away she muttered a grazie, the woman to her wasn’t actually anything special and a little to pissy for her taste. Than again she didn’t know that Carla was supposed to be taking this table for her. Kimberly offered Carla half of her omelet, having to correct herself to English so she could understand what Kimberly had asked.

Shrugging her shoulders Kimberly used her folk to dig into the omelet in front almost forgetting Carla was there in her hunger until she spoke again, and she smiled widely at Carla. “It’s Italian. I’ve only been in America for four years now, my madre…..mother only speaks Italian. So some things I have trouble remembering how to say right off.” Kimberly said with a slight laugh. After a bit of talking she took a bite of her food, which was wonderful for such a small and crappy place, and she let her eyes close a little before Carla asked how it was. “Delizioso. Omelets are one of the few things I can’t cook. It’s no longer a wonder why so many people are here.” She answered though it might have sounded snoopy to say such a thing, she really had wondered why so many were here.
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Carla hadn’t been running long before the heat of the air made her slow quickly from a hard run to a walk before she leaned on the side of a building her head titled back opening up her air way as she panted heavily struggling to breath. Once she could finally breath without it being painful she glanced around slightly more clear in the head from her lapse of judgement and realized she was lost. With the high of the drugs in her system started to dull a little she could feel her on top of the world feeling slowly slipping away, the exhaustion replacing the energy she had. She couldn’t help but feel more uneasy, she was still in a very bad part of town and well she was lost with no phone, no money and she was in a dress. At least when she had her normal clothing on it made her feel less exposed less likely for them. . . to look at her, hungry with lust in their eyes. Sure she wasn’t that pretty or pretty at all in her mind but that hadn’t stopped the first guy from doing what he had to her.

Wrapping her arms around her body tightly she could feel herself starting to tear up. She needed to get out of her. Find somewhere safe. She needed to find a street that she knew and go from there. Glancing up at the sun which beamed down on her heating her whole body not just by the heat the sun left in the air but also the heat that it casted with its light. Glancing away with narrowed eyes from looking at the sun she pushed off the wall and glanced to the closest street corner and saw the street sign. Glancing up at t he street sign she knew she had heard of this street before. But she had no idea how it connected to anything. She glanced down the direction she knew she had come from and bite her lower lip a little. How far had she run? Did she run in a straight line for the most part? This really wasn’t good, but if she had come from that direction surely sooner or later she’d come to something she knew right? Glancing around she could see some of the gangs around the area, the streets filled with streets, and smoke filled the thick air. She rocked on her feet a little having not realized there was a corner store right behind her.
~~~~

Liz ignored Kimberly as she worked her way through her joint and smoke. The combo of them making her feel a little better about the shit she was having to deal with right now. Liz had never thought she’d see Carla again, a ghost that would just fade away with time. Not a haunting memory that would come and slap her across the face. Then the fact that it was fucking Kimberly who brought the ghost back to her place made it all the worst. The girl on a fucking God trip, thinking she was so much better than everyone else just because her father was some mass murdering mob guy.

“Hey it’s a payment, it’s better than nothing.” She shot back her voice raising before Liz scowled at the woman, she then stood up quickly and shouted. “You can’t do that you stupid bitch! I didn’t borrow that money nor did I get it through interest so you can go fuck yourself. You can go tell your fucking father that you know owe him money for some stupid girl who was to naïve to everything!” Liz yelled totally pissed off now ready to throw a punch at Kimberly. Her eyes were narrowed and her jaw set as she glared at the bookie in her room. They came face to face as Kimberly yelled at her to leave, Liz brought up her smokes and took a deep drag before blowing the smoke into Kimberly face. “Fuck off entitled bitch. Go run to daddy crying, Michael won’t let one of his paying customs just poof because your pissed off at me. ” She said matter-o-factly. She saw Ethan show up in the door way her eyes narrowing at the man as she took another drag, holding it in before letting the smoke out again, the smokes almost done. “Touch me and I’ll drop the smokes, you know how fast cloth burns. So fuck off.” She said again still not backing down to the woman.

~~~~

A short but bitter left the woman’s lips making Carla glance away ashamed. She couldn’t help but feel discouraged a little. Carla didn’t really help people let alone talk to them. She had enough of her own issues she should really deal with before trying to help anyone. After all everything she said could easily be used by herself yet she was still as depressed and paranoid as always. She picked at her hands a little as Kimberly spoke. She felt sorry for the woman that no one not even her family seemed to want her happiness. Even Carla had people who truly just wanted her to be happy. Both Hale and Jem, well her mother too but she passed away a long time ago. In a way she really only had Jem left. Her Uncle had been someone who wanted her happiness but not too long ago he passed away from caner leaving her alone with Liz her only family left, that she knew of anyways. Carla peeked up at the woman when she apologized for how cruel and bitter she had sounded. Carla couldn’t bring herself to speak again so she nodded her head.

However, not long after that was Carla trying to explain how to build back up trust, when she herself was hardly passed the stage of trusting her own animals. Carla felt a slight surprise cross her face. The man who she thought was her boyfriend who had hurt Kimberly was not her boyfriend. “Oh!” She said dragging out the word. “So-ah-he’s not your-umm boyfriend? “ She said softly. “The guy who was here but then wasn’t here.” She rambled a little her cheeks a soft pink colour. “I feel kinda stupid now.” She said her face only getting brighter as she then glanced towards the window looking for a reason not to look at the woman after making a fool of herself. She was so distracted about him not being her boyfriend that she lost track of how they were talking about getting a pet. Luckily for Carla the waitress came up to them making Carla glance towards the waitress and pale again.

Carla was offered some food but shook her head before asking what language the woman spoke. She nodded her head looking at Kimberly again listening to the words before smiling a little. “Did you speak any English before you got here?” She said unable to be a little jealous of the girl who got to live in such a cool place. The USA was lame and well over rated in Carla’s mind. After that thought she realized she should ask if she likes it here. “So do you like Miami?” Carla asked shifting a little before glancing out the window. “It’s hot too in Italy right? So at least you didn’t have too much of a struggle adjusting to the heat. Some days I still feel like I’m melting and going to die.” Carla said with a soft laugh to herself before glancing back at Kimberly.

Carla laughed softly at Kimberly loving the food. “The chef Luke is really good, he used to own his own restaurant but with how bad the economy is, he had to close it before he lost everything. So now he works here.” She said with a bit of a shrug. She had a feeling with Luke doing so well as the chef here the owners who hardly cared about the matters here would most likely make a deal with him so he could have a bigger piece of what they made. After all he was the reason business was so good. “I don’t think it’s too hard, there surely has to be a recipes somewhere online. Isn’t it really just veggies and scrambled eggs?” She asked believing that’s what it was. Carla knew how to do basic cooking and follow recipes but she had never been much of an egg person so really hadn’t thought much of it.
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