Important Post:
As a note, I will be controlling most of the next post since it will be transitional and will try to bring in the new roles, while doing away with the old ones lost. As a note, these old Correctors may be put on the back burner for being used as enemies in the future, because why not?
Okay, while I'm fiddling with my last essay of this boring class, I have time to finally get to some stuff here...
@Red Fox: Yeah, there was a kidnapping. And hey, you can't expect us to wait around for you! XD In terms of bringing your character back in, I have 1-2 ideas. Your character can either be brought in during my next post, since we all assumed yours had some "family thing" going on and wasn't with the others, they can have been grabbed as well, just not with the group. The other thought was that they're sort of in on the kidnapping, either being told since they were MIA in Soshi's pad or something. The first is probably less complicated though...
@TalijaKey: First off, thanks for sticking around!
That is a weird ass hammer, you'll have to clue me in on its uses or if it's just light and used for close combat.
Now onto the background section, it was a bit hard to read in terms of some sentences just sounding stiff so you may wanna try reading it aloud to work out any kinks that deal with flow and grammar. I know you mentioned you did some editing but it does need some more work, some misspellings and re-wording of sentences...
Then a question I had was regarding his change in demeanor after he came back from visiting the Balkans, he seems more out going which should be a good thing, why would his parents move away from the man who was helping their son? Only to have him begin to act out because of moving away in the first place? Is the parent (grandfather of your character) of the kid's parents not on good terms with whoever his kid is? (Miro's mother or father, whichever side the grandpa is on)
You also mentioned him having bad influences such as bad friends, would these be other bullies?
Overall, I think it does makes sense though I'm always tired of hearing about characters who go through phases of being rotten or angst ridden but the bit about him liking cute things was a fun surprise. In terms of his geographical location, I'm not sure if I missed it or not...did you mention where his grandfather lived and where he lives now? I know he took a break to help his grandfather and he'd like to return now. Would you want him with our group as a new face (someone they know but don't work with) or someone who has been in the group but is returning?
And how old is the grandfather? Considering he's ill, I assume in the 90s?
Anywho, just some feedback. ^^;
@Rysmarin: So sorry about the delay, again.
If you'd like your character to have American influence, that's fine with me. I just want to make sure he'd be in the right position for a Corrector job, it's uncommon for Gvn to accept non-natives into their Corrector program, though world peace has been seemingly established, most countries want to keep their own closer, than say, rely on immigrants.
Okay, that's a better word, I like it.
I think everything is alright...I think I can accept you. In terms of jumping in, I do have a few tiny ideas.
Either he can be from another city or quadrant of JPN and transfer to the Tokyo one, considering the Gvn doesn't know of the kidnapping, he might not come in yet. But if we wanted to bring him in ASAP (probably better), we could do something with Red Fox and your character in terms of them being tipped off about the kidnapping and have them go after the other Correctors, as your own Corrector could be part of the group already (but been MIA?) or as mentioned, a transfer.