Laguna beach was atypically quiet, even for a Thursday, but then again, half the town was surely still asleep by the time Rob and Sam had made it over there. It barely constituted Thursday at all.

Rob wasn’t much for early mornings. Especially not mornings which began a drive in the darkness. The sun didn’t start peaking over the eastward mountains until after the two had parked and were stretching.

“I cannot believe you got me out here to do this shit,” Rob muttered under his breath, as he stretched his calves out. He had tried to be decent to his body over the years, but all of that footwork underneath the kit meant his calves were a chronic problem. He didn’t hear a response from Sam, and was about to repeat himself when Sam silently slid a tincture into his free hand.

“What’s this?”

“Pot, dumbass.”

“It’s maybe seven in the morning.”

Sam shrugged, then held his shoulders in tension for a bit before moving to twisting his back. “Then just a little bit. Helps with withdrawal.”

That comment stopped Rob dead in his tracks.

“Dude,” Sam started, “Don’t start. Your hands shake hands under the table” He pointed at him. “You’re already sweating.”

“It’s warm out,” Rob shrugged.

“Sure, bud,” Sam continued. “I don’t care. I’ve just seen it all before. The anxiety gets worse before it gets better.”

Rob thought quietly for a moment. “I didn’t think I was that deep.”

“Hey—I told you to cut that shit out,” Sam shot back. He locked up the car and led Rob to the start of the sidewalk. They had two miles to go before they made it to the breakfast spot Sam had picked out. Run there, walk back; that was the plan. Before starting off, Sam turned back to Rob. “You are where you’re at. That’s it. Don’t fucking overthink it.”

“I didn’t take you for a philosopher.”

“I’m not—that’s you.”

With that, Sam turned and jogged off. Rob would shortly follow, after using the tincture.

Sam was right, in his own prickly way. Call it the benefit of a simpler go at things over the year, but he was plainly confident in his own way. All instinct. Something of a welcome salve for Rob.

Tomorrow was In Bloom’s first show in a decade. A sold out show. And soon after, the road waited. Traveling, tour busses, riders, support acts, the works. A world that Rob used to know very well but could only look back on now like a half-remembered dream. He wondered how the others felt about it. Whether it was a sweater that still fit after all these years — or one that you can’t believe you ever wore in the first place.

Rob tried his best to brush the thoughts aside as he rain along the coast. The air here was different than back at home. It was warmer, and not just in temperature. Seattle was a cool green hue wherever you went, whereas here? The orange sun was so familiar, it felt paternal.

Home indeed.

—

He hurt more than he thought he would when they finally arrived, but two miles was a solid return to form and he was looking forward to running the two remaining miles back. He was sat across from Sam on the back patio of a breakfast diner. The air was perfect—sea salt, cheap oil, and bacon. Not much else you could ask for.

Rob poked at his remaining eggs while Sam messed around idly at his phone. The conversation had run dry a bit earlier than expected, and so Sam was taking the opportunity to find and show Rob some of the online reaction to the new single.

If anything made him feel anachronistic to everything going on, it was social media. He had never used it much at any age, and while it had been around his whole life, in his mind, he could better feel the impact of the music in the crowds and, more bluntly, in the dollars and cents than in the number of video essays generated or impressions gained.

But from what Sam was showing him, the crowds he was about to see might look a little different than they used to. Some of the people he knew were there, in the reactions. The types of fans who would quietly collect merch and talk you ear off about other bands they loved, if they could corner you. But the in the multitude of short videos Rob was shown, the crowd seemed different. Younger, of course (no surprise there) but also seemingly more interested in the meta of it all.

Which was the exact thing Rob was hoping to avoid.

“When I tell you this was the clapback," one person said — their dorm room clear in the background. “Just cause she didn’t say anything doesn’t mean she didn’t have Everything just waiting to clock his ass.”

Sam scrolled to the once one flatly once he realized they were probably talking about Rob.

The phone in his pocket mercifully rang, and he excused himself to take it. He walked down the stairs onto the beach before answering.

“Rob, hi! Danielle, from Blackout Records? We spoke earlier.”

“Of course, yeah,” Rob said. “What’s up?”

“I spoke with Evan earlier — he really didn’t think I should tell you this — but I did — and it’s really my job — so I wanted to get you caught up on something coming up.”

Rob’s heart immediately quickened. The publicist is calling me, he thought. When has that ever been a good thing?

“Sure, uh,” Rob stammered out. “Shoot.”

“Well, some metadata leaked from MAE on a drop for Monday.” She paused for a response, and when she got none, continued: “She’s got a song coming out tomorrow. Supposedly. Or at least one of the distribution platforms seems to think so. And I wanted to give you a head’s up, because some of the lyrics leaked, and uh—“

“Let me guess,” Rob sighed. “They’re about me.”

“…who’s to say. But we think it’s possible people may—“

“Look, Danielle,” Rob cut off. His body continued to tense, and he felt himself already reaching for the tincture in his pocket. “I’m looking forward to working with you and all, but if you could shoot straight with me on your opinions, I’d really appreciate it.”

Silence on the end of the line, for a moment, then a breath.

“She isn’t being very subtle,” Danielle finally responded. “We were hoping with the show and all, you might could give her a call and see if this is something we should anticipate.”

“You want me to call MAE and ask her to move her release?”

“You said you wanted me to shoot straight, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” Danielle began, “Yes. MAE’s got exponentially more followers and any commentary she has on your failed marriage from her is going to going to drown us for a day or two.”

“A day or two?” Rob asked. “I was expecting months. Also, ouch.”

“Hey, you told me to. And these things don’t really stick around as long. It’s more of a sparring war. She’ll comment and that will be the last word until we comment. Then that’ll be it, and people forget quickly until their algorithms update them.”

Rob was about to respond when a phone camera was very suddently in his face.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I found him!”

Rob took a few instinctive steps back, only to find the phone kept coming closer. On the other side, what looked like a local girl who couldn’t have been any older than twenty kept approaching — eyes on the phone, looking at Rob only through the surrogate. He was so caught off guard, he initially didn’t say anything.

“Literally out here in the wild,” the girl said, “You look stressed, Rob. Message for the MAE girlies before she eats tomorrow?”

“I — what?” Rob finally said. His own phone dropped from his year. “I’m sorry, I’m on a call.”

“Oooo! Which one, which one?”

“Which what?” Rob shot back.

“The mother of your baby, or your precious Jane?”

“Alright, back the fuck up,” Sam shot out. He had mercifully stuck himself in between Rob and the girl. “Playtime’s over.”

“Woah, chill,” she said, dropping the phone just for a moment before raising it again. “Who even are you, anyways?”

While Sam continued to chase off the girl, Rob liftted his own phone back to his ear. “Sorry, Danielle. I don’t really know what just happened.”

“I could hear it on my end,” she replied. “This is exactly what I want to avoid. Do you think you can give her a call?”

“…I’ll see what I can do.”

---

A few hours later, Rob found himself pacing the neighborhood outside the rental home. They had ran back as they planned, but the mood was considerably less relaxed.

“These fuckin’ kids, man,” Sam had told him on the ride home. “Can’t even look you in the eye but wanna shove a camera down your throat.”

Rob tried to laugh it off then, but even now, it was hard to tell what was withdrawal and what was genuine fear. It almost felt like rigor mortis had set in, with how tense he was feeling.

Maybe a valid feeling for a dead man walking.

“Hello?” Mae’s voice finally came, after the third try. More and more these days, Rob had to call her multiple times in a row before she’d answer. Probably with all of the studio work she was putting in, but it certainly didn’t help.

“Hey, sorry to bother you,” Rob started. “I just had a weird interaction with I think a fan of yours and, I just wanted to ask, if something happening tomorrow?”

Rob had figured blaming the fan would be easy cover for ‘my label wants me to collect info on you,’ and given how long Mae paused before responding, it seems it was needed.

“I think so, yeah. I was between Friday and Monday but my group said Friday would be more impactful.”

“Any chance you can change that?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Well,” Rob started. He figured he had no other option but to just level with her. “My band has its first show in ten years tomorrow. Secret show, but word’s gotten out. It’d mean a lot to have that day if you can still move yours to Monday.”

“…maybe you’re right,” she sighed. “Plus, honestly I’m glad you’re calling, because I wanted to give you a head’s up on this one. The lyrics are going to feel a bit familiar.”

“You wrote a song about me.”

“About us.”

Silent tears began to well in his eyes. “Mae, we talked about this years ago. I’ve kept my word, I need you to keep yours.”

“I am, Robby, I am. I don’t call you names, I don’t ask people to hate you, nothing like that.”

“Well, according to one of your fans, you’re going to shred me.”

“They’re protective of me,” Mae defended. “It’s not personal, I’m sure your fans don’t love me very much.”

“There are a thousand of your fans for every ten of ours,” Rob shot back. “It’s not a fair comparison.”

“It’s my life, I have a right to speak on it.”

“Don’t pull that shit with me, Mae.” Rob practically seethed. “This isn’t about your fucking agency, because you have more power and influence than any of us combined. This is about Elle. It always has been.”

“…Okay, Rob. Take a breath. I'll have my team call the distributors and push it to Sunday night. If this weekend is that important to your little reunion, you can have it. But you need to stop bring up Elle the moment you need something from me.”

“She’s the reason we agreed not to do this publically.”

“All the same. Look — I have to go, I’m heading into a media day. And now I’m going to make a bunch of phone calls to move the dates and try and make you happy again. Not like I ever could.”

The line went dead after that.

---

Rob stayed outside for a good while after that, until Sam came to get him back inside. He had been sat on the front porch chair, watching cars go by.

After the morning he had had, it was all he wanted to do. He didn’t want to think about the concert, or the next few days. He didn’t want to think about the lyrics Danielle texted him from his ex-wife’s new single — he didn’t even read them, not yet. What was the point? Whatever she said, was going to be the biggest thing in the world.

And Mae, always the innocent giant, would rain down hellfire on him just by writing a handful of lyrics. The world would do the rest. In a weird way, he felt like Frankenstein in the ice. Waiting for his monster to come kill him. The monster of his own making. Action, meet consequence.

By the time Sam got him, he wordlessly followed. And for the first time in perhaps, ever, Sam looked worried.

“Hey man, you good?” He asked as the two headed back inside.

“Yeah, why?”

“I dunno. You just look like you aren’t thinking, for once.”

Rob shrugged.

On the way back inside, he briefly saw Jane. She was headed upstairs, sandwich in hand, no doubt getting herself ready for rehearsal.

And in that moment, he prayed every ounce of shit that came out of Mae’s side of this would hit him instead of her. J had been through enough.

“I’m headed downstairs,” Rob called to Sam. “I need to hit something.”

---

Halfway through playing Veins, the morning was already a mercifully distant memory. There was an energy with In Bloom that could never be replicated in any other band Rob had played with.

When In Bloom played, four California kids from decades ago were alive again. Innocent, young, and beautiful. There was nothing else like it.

“Well, I think we still got it.” J said.

Rob couldn’t stifle a laugh and a smile. “That felt great,” he said, beeming. “God, I missed this.”

He looked over to Austin, who cracked the first genuine smile he’d seen in a days. Maybe since they first got here.

“Alright, try this one on for size.” Rob shouted into his microphone, and began to play. He immediately launched into an older track from them — long before even the first tour was a idea. He had ripped the syncopated drums out of the Arctic Monkeys record he had been listening to that summer. A sort of hard rock version of a latin clave.

The rest of the song sounded little like the original influence (J’s voice lent a texture that was at times furtive and at others, beautifully baleful) but — judging by the look in their eyes — they also knew this one immediately.

From there, the practice went on — and on, and on.

At a certain point, Rob had lost all track of time. A few hours in, some takeout had appeared downstairs, and Rob could barely get a few bites in before starting up again.

And for a moment, a beautiful, ephemeral moment, they were all 18 again.

At one point, Rob found himself laying on his back on the floor in the center of the room, knees raised and foot crossed over. The rest of the band had joined him on the rug — Sam with his back against the wall, scarfing down an egg roll. Austin sat cris-crossed and watching, as Rob was, J sing. She had an acoustic in her hand and was playing something soft and beautiful. He couldn’t tell what it was, but laying there, watching her strumming hand almost dance along the strings, he would have sworn it was the most beautiful song in the world.

Towards the end of the song, his eyes raised from her hands to meet her eyes.

They were already looking to his.

Eventually, the evening wrapped up, and everyone had begun packing things up. They had tracked five or six songs (Rob had lost count) and a few covers. A mix of new stuff, old stuff — just about anything really. He wasn’t sure what Evan would make of it, but at least he could be happy In Bloom was more than ready to take on tomorrow.

Rob didn’t want the night to end, but he was struggling to keep his eyes open. His eyes looked down towards his hand, keeping him propped up from the floor. He could just make out the gentle tremor in his pinky.

He’d need to smoke a bit before bed.

“I think I’m gonna call it,” he said, rising up to his feet. Sam and Austin were in the corner, talking about mix busses and signal chains. Meanwhile, Rob stole a quick moment with J while he could.

“Hey, if you’re free this weekend I was thinking about heading to Joshua Tree,” he said, a warm smile already building on his lips. “Somewhere without cell service. Maybe rent a little place for a night and just dissapear for a bit after the show?”

He knew all he wanted to do this weekend was get away, and he was hoping J would, too. She deserved it.

He wished his life had been quieter so he could focus more on hers. J was so different now, had done so much work on herself… he wanted to get to know her again. The same people but differnet — changed by time but still the same underneath it all. Maybe they really could start over fresh. Equal terms, happy and healthy—

—just then, his smart watch pinged. Glancing down, he could see Danielle had texted him two words: Call Me.

The pang of fear that shot through him at that thought kept him from thinking of the weekend any further. He would only hope she’d say yes.

“Sorry, it’s Danielle,” he apologized. His eyes lingered on hers a hair too long before he continued. “Let me know, yeah? I’d love to get away—” his voice shrinking before he could say ‘with you,’ as well.

He excused himself and made his way upstairs.

As soon as the door behind him closed, he rushed to shower — taking several hits off a pen before, and particularly after. He felt like he was rushing towards a car crash, but he just wished the car would speed up faster and get it over with.

All too soon, he was sat at the end of his bed, eyes cast outward to the night sky past the windowsill. The mountains carved beautiful curves into the starry night sky. It was a beautiful evening.

“Hi Rob,” came Danielle’s voice after two rings. He was put on edge immediately. There was pity dripping from her after only two words. That couldn’t have meant anything good.

“Danielle,” Rob replied, flat. “That bad, huh?”

“What do you mean?”

“You wanted me to call you and you sound like you’re about to tell me someone died.”

“I should work on my tone, then,” she replied. She was taking her publicist tone now, but rer hesistation only further confirmed his fears. “I pulled some strings with Spotify. Me and someone in their distribution department were in the same sorority.”

“Sound like a pretty successful one.”

“I got the track early,” she continued. “I can’t send it to you, I made some pretty aggressive promises, but I can play it for you now, if you’d like.”

This time, it was Rob’s turn to take a beat.

“…do you think I should?” he asked.

“I’ve been wondering that all day,” she said. “I got this before we spoke this morning, actually. But I talked to my Dad about it and he agreed.”

“I’m sorry?”

“My, uh—” the publicist voice dropped again, and Danielle continued: “My parents split when I was very young. They told me they grew apart and adults are complicated, but I’ve pretty much always known they only stayed together as long as they did for me. Anyways — when I was older, I finally got her to tell me the truth.”

Rob’s voice grew small. “What was the truth?”

“She said it was because one day she realized that she was anyways going to be second. Before they had ever met, Dad had loved a woman that had left him. He hadn’t seen her in decades, he was always loyal to her and loved her as much as he could… but he still held space for her. Somewhere. Despite it all.”

Rob couldn’t say anything anymore.

“Anyways, of course it’s a bit personal for me. And I’m sure this is for you. We’ve all moved on, my parents are great friends and I love them both. I don’t know what’s gone on between you and Mae but I don’t think you deserve to hear it for the first time with millions of other people.”

Tears had already welled up in Robs eyes. “Play it.”

“Sure.”

After a moment, a soft, gentle piano filled the air. Nothing else. And atop, she sang something beautiful, quiet. and devastating:

You held me like a promise

you forgot to keep.

I used to listen to you breathing,

when you were talking in your sleep.

To a ghost.

In a quiet room.

Just a quiet room.

Mae had tried her best to balance the truth with anonymity, but anyone with eyes could see that it was Rob she sang about.

And as he listened, the dam finally broke.

He pressed the heels of his hands hard into his eyes, but it couldn’t stop the tears. He shuttered and shook in quiet grief, his tears falling freely into his lap. He rocked, gently, but it was no comfort.

He couldn’t hide it from himself anymore. She was right.

J never left his heart. She never could. Mae could only ever take up as much space in him as he’d allow, and he’d never allow it all. And he loved her, and he married her, and he had a beautiful daughter with her, but he was hers but she was never fully his.

And now one day, Elle would know. And in a few days, everyone else would, too. There would be no running from this. Not now, not ever.

“Rob?” Danielle had asked. The song had ended a few minutes ago, but his phone stayed muted. He had no words to speak.

“I know you’re muted, you don’t have to say anything. Just… take care of yourself. Call me tomorrow.”

She hesitated a long moment. “There’s an after, after this. Remember that. Goodnight.”

The line disconnected.

And Rob, stripped bare, wept.

News broke about Mae’s pregnancy. She was having a girl. Rob was having a girl. Jane heard it on the radio while she was heading for her morning surf session, during which she completely wiped out and had to go home early.

For the rest of the day, Jane paced around her home in a panic. Kody was out of town on a trip with her girlfriend. Dr. Michal was booked for the day according to her receptionist. She hadn’t talked to Mia in two years. Any other bridge she could think of, she already burned. She even considered calling Austin, but she couldn’t bring herself to pick up the phone.

By 5:00AM the following morning, she hadn’t slept, and with tears in her eyes, she drove out to Crescent Beach Overlook with a bottle of Jack Daniels in her passenger seat that she had picked up from the liquor store earlier. Somehow, for now, it was still sealed.

Stuck on You by Failure blared in her headphones as she looked over the waves crashing against the rocks. The sun was just starting to come up behind her, illuminating the scene. The wind whipped around her which caused her hair to stick to the tears.

Rob was having a child. God, she hadn’t talked to him in five years. But yet, every major life event she became privy to made her spiral. Before she got sober, the news of his wedding caused a week-long bender of cocaine and heroine that she almost didn’t make it out of. But this one stung even worse. Memories of her abortion when they got back to the states from their tour had been flashing in and out of her mind all night.

Now, she leaned up against the railing looking down at the water below her, wondering how she fucked up so bad that this is where ended up while Rob was starting a family. At this point, she started sobbing, letting her voice carry and get lost into the atmosphere.

Jane wondered when the last time was that she crossed Rob’s mind. Did he have such a reaction when the “Jane’s Addiction” news articles circulated? Probably not, she thought. He’s the one that left her. He’s the one that was done. He’s the one with a wife and child on the way.

The press stopped after Jane disappeared and got sober, but as she looked down at the bottle clutched in her first, the thought of a piece popping up about her relapsing this time made her nauseous. She imagined the look of Rob’s disappointment finding out she was using again. She thought of Austin getting the news, although he probably wouldn’t be surprised at this point.

On top of disappointing a man she may never see again, Jane already knew that if she relapsed right now, it would only push her even further behind. Rob was making a family. Austin found a career. And Jane would be getting sober for the third time, starting over yet again. She’d be even further away from having a family of her own, from achieving anything more than being a washed up rock star.

Jane looked at the bottle again and shook her head. She couldn’t use again. She already had a year sober under her belt.

It took all of Jane’s willpower, but she cracked the seal, held it out in front of her, and dumped the contents over the railing onto the shore below her. Leaving the empty bottle on the deck, she headed for her car to go home and hopefully sleep it off instead.



“Fuck,” Jane muttered as she paced the alley behind the venue. Her third newport in a row was about halfway done, and according to the time, she had about ten minutes before In Bloom took the stage for the first time in a decade.

Not only was Jane terrified, but God, she wanted a drink. The last time she wanted a drink this bad was that morning on Crescent Beach Overlook.

The rest of the band was in the green room preparing for the set. She would have loved to join them, but she couldn’t tell if she was about to throw up or drink through their rider.

When they arrived about an hour ago, a line had wrapped around the bar and down the block awaiting entry, and the sight made her feel faint. Was she ready to face a crowd again? To put herself in the spotlight for the world to see? Solitude, while lonely, grew to be so comfortable. This, this was uncomfortable to the max. And not being able to have a drink to calm down was causing Jane’s chest to constrict.

An alarm on her phone went off, signaling that there was five minutes left. She flicked the cigarette and began warming up her voice, just as Austin appeared at the back door.

“You good?” He asked, cocking his head to the side. He must have seen the panic on her face.

“Yeah,” Jane sighed. She shook the nerves out of her body. “Let’s do it.”



“And from right here in Long Beach, for the first time in the years, give it up for In Bloom!”

The band filed on stage one by one, taking their spots. Jane forced her legs to move, and she winced as the spotlight hit her eyes. She was shaking, but still waved to the crowd as she settled herself front and center. The crowd went wild, but she couldn’t find it in herself to meet anyone’s eyes. Instead, she used the old trick of focusing on the top of everyone’s heads towards the back of the room.

She then looked around her — and behind her — to Rob and the rest of the band to draw some sort of strength from them, then eventually faced the crowd.

“Hey, everybody,” Jane said into the microphone. The crowd, in response, greeted her back.

“My name is Jane. This is Austin, Sam and Rob. We’re In Bloom, and wow, it’s been a while.”

The crowd “woo”-ed.

“I’m gonna be honest. I haven’t done this in a long time, and I’m really nervous. So if you know any of the words, sing with me.”

She then looked at Sam and nodded, giving him the‘okay’ to play the opening riff to Veins, just like they practiced the day before.

”Just like we practiced,” Jane assured herself.



“We’re In Bloom, thanks for checking us out!”

Jane, along with the rest of the band, exited to stage into the green room, leaving behind a screaming crowd. She found the nearest wall and leaned against it. Her Temples t-shirt dabbed her forehead which was drenched in sweat along with the rest of her body.

It was by no means her best set. She messed up the words during one song, came in too early during another one. Her voice sounded alright compared to when she had more practice. But, overall, she was happy with her performance. Even more so, she was happy with how Austin, Sam and Rob played. To her, she’d never be able to guess that the band hadn’t played a show together in ten years.

“Great job, guys,” Jane panted, giving each one a squeeze on the shoulder as they passed her. Rob was last, and she held on a little longer.

Rob invited her to get away for the rest of the weekend to Joshua Tree. Once she confirmed, he said he’d handle the logistics, and they agreed to leave tomorrow morning together. Jane had been too nervous about the show to even think about going away for a night together, but now with the set out of the way, this was her next thing to ruminate and freak out about.

Jane removed her hand from his shoulder and smiled at him, attempting to not show one hint of nerves. He kept to himself the entire day as she had (under the guise of vocal rest when really, she was panicking in her room for most of the day) and Jane was starting to remember that he wasn’t the easiest to read. She made a mental note to dig into his mood once they were alone.

Austin chugged a Miller Lite that was in a bucket of ice and let out a yell. “Man, that was so sick!” He looked around to the rest of the room as he grinned from ear to ear. “I missed this shit.”

She laughed, patting him on the back. “Relax, old man. Aren’t you supposed to tutor a kid on Zoom at 9:00AM?”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine, but I can’t wait to do that again and again.”

”Again and again.” They had yet to hear any more details about the tour, but she was attempting to practice patience instead of blowing up Evan for every detail he had so far. Who would be their support? How many shows? Maybe a call to him wouldn’t hurt.

They arrived back to the rental an hour later, and she immediately scurried to her room to reach out.

“Evan, hi, it’s Jane. Sorry it’s late, I was just hoping you had more info on this upcoming tour.”

“Well, we’re currently looking for one to two supporting acts to open for you guys. Once we lock those down, we can start booking dates and go from there.”

“Okay, okay,” Jane replied, biting her thumb nail. “Do you think you could look up a sound engineer for me? Her name is Lyla Thomas. She worked with the band years ago, and I’d love to have her back on the road with us.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” he said, but it was difficult for Jane to tell by his tone how serious he took the request. “Was there anything else?”

“Just…what’s our timeline here?”

“Well, I haven’t made too much progress the past 24 hours. I’ve been working with the publicist putting out the MAE fire.”

“MAE fire?” Jan shot back, sitting up straight in her bed. “What happened?”

“When I talked to you about coming out of retirement, you told me to keep you out of the drama and on a need-to-know basis.”

“This sounds need-to-know, Evan.”

He sighed. “MAE is putting out a song by Sunday or Monday. Rob actually got her to move the release date from Friday so that In Bloom could have the spotlight for your show. But… the lyrics seem to be about him.”

She buried her head in her hands. “Jeez, okay. Have you read them?”

“No, no. And we’re hoping it doesn’t impact the band, but her fan base is known to be a tad obsessed.”

“Okay, have a good night.” Without waiting for him to respond, she hung up the call and tossed her phone to the other end of the bed.

Her head was spinning. It was no secret that Jane’s lyrics could have been about Rob, but she always assumed that him and everyone else wouldn’t think so because their relationship was so long ago. The songs could be about anybody at this point.

But for Mae to write a song about him after their divorce, that was a whole different animal.

She scoured her memories for every conversation that she had with Rob since she got here, but from everything he said about her, it seemed like they were in a good place. Why now? And… what were the lyrics about?

Jane felt herself fuming. Not only did Mae, perfect pop princess Mae, marry and have a child with the love of her life, but now, it seemed she was trying to smother In Bloom out of their second chance.

She charged out of her room and went to bang on Rob’s door, demanding answers, but before her fist could make contact, she froze. Would raging about his ex-wife to him help anything? Would he defend her? Would it impact how far they’ve come?

After standing in front of his door for what felt like an eternity, she made the decision to retreat and wash off the show instead. She was still heated, but a burning hot shower helped calm her down a bit. After that, it was already midnight, so Jane went straight to bed, even though the urge to rant to Rob was still there.



The phone alarm went off at 7:00AM, two hours before Jane and Rob were set to leave for Joshua Tree. She was tossing and turning throughout the night with the song and their trip looming.

Their relationship had made such progress since they arrived at the rental. They were talking like old friends, they shared a kiss—Jane was afraid to rock the boat by digging into what this song could be about. But on the other hand, if her fans were going to come after Rob and In Bloom, did she not have a right to know?

She also couldn’t help but wonder what Rob was expecting from this trip. A weekend away together, in her mind, meant romance…and sleeping together. Jane wasn’t sure if Rob was aware that she’s been celibate since getting sober, and maybe he was expecting her to be more like she was in her early twenties. Her last experience with Jared made her nervous, but at the very least, she knew Rob wouldn’t pressure her in that way. She figured it would just have to be an uncomfortable conversation. If she was willing to sleep with anyone anytime soon, it would be Rob, but she needed time to get comfortable around him again. She was alone for so long, even being around the band again was taking her some time to get used to.

Jane worked on packing a bag and getting herself prepared, then she headed for the kitchen to meet Rob about five minutes before they were leaving. She was wearing plain, cropped black t-shirt and a pair of denim cut offs, her sunglasses already on. Austin was head first in the fridge, but popped back out when he heard Jane setting her things on the counter.

“Big trip, huh?” he asked, nudging his head towards the duffel bag by her feet.

“I guess so,” Jane grimaced, preparing for Austin’s reaction.

“What? I’m not saying anything,” he responded to her facial expression. “None of my business.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been oddly supportive lately.”

“New thing I’m trying,” he said through a smirk as he whisked some eggs that he grabbed from the fridge. “We’re all adults here. You’re sane and sober. As long as it doesn’t affect the band, then I’m staying out of it.”

“No matter what’s happened between us, Rob and I have always been able to play a show together.” In reality, if Jane lost Rob a second time, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to look at him again.

Austin raised his hands. “That’s all I ask.”

Jane heard Rob emerge from his room, and she swiveled around on her barstool to face him. “Ready to head out?”