[IC] Be my Sanctuary

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

The cab's atmosphere was stifling as Jess climbed in, dragging her luggage after her. Not from any environmental factor, but from the waves of claustrophobia coming off of Roxy, the sensation of airlessness, the knot of dread and resignation in her stomach. Just a shadow of what Roxy herself was feeling. Jess resisted the urge to squirm in her seat, not wanting to make the anchor feel guilty over something that wasn't her fault. She just hoped her mother wouldn't ask too many awkward questions, or get any more wrong impressions.

"So, uh..." Thinking back to what had helped last time, she dug her phone from her pocket and held out an earphone. "Music?" She scrolled through her library for something relaxing. It would only do so much, but even a temporary distraction was better than nothing, and like last time it would help them learn more about each other.

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy glanced at Jess and shrugged. "Sure." She doubted that she would be able to focus on the music. She stared out the window as the taxi headed down the road. Worrying woukd accomplishment nothing but she couldn't stop herself from doing it. Jess's mom would always be in her life. Even if she was only on the outskirts. As much as Roxy didn't want to admit it the woman's opinion would matter.

She barely noticed the rest of the trip. Which was good for her claustrophobia. She took a deep breath when the cab stopped. She paid the driver and got out. She prepared herself to be judged. Roxy wouldn't bother explaining. One look at her record would confirm whatever her father told the woman. He would stick just close enough to the truth not to be lying. He would want the woman on his side to force her to do what he wanted to do. "Lead the way."

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Jess' hands were clenched throughout the journey. Roxy's claustrophobia wasn't as bad as usual, but worry simmered in the background, for both of them. When the cab stopped, she thanked the driver, steeled herself and led Roxy up the path. While this would certainly be better than a weekend with Reginald, whatever he'd told her mother proved he didn't have to be physically present to sour everything.

Biting the inside of her lip, Jess rang the doorbell. Footsteps sounded, and her mom opened the door to greet her with a warm grin. "Hey Jess! Good to see you're well." She pulled Jess into a hug. While most of her cheer was genuine, there was no mistaking the underlying doubts. "Come on in! How's everything been since last time?" Her eyes flicked between the two girls, turning slightly frosty when they settled on Roxy.

"Good, Roxy's been teaching me a lot." Jess followed her mom inside, intent on letting her see the kind person Roxy really was, instead of who Reginald painted her as. "About work, and athletics..." She trailed off, remembering how her mom had looked at the training area when she'd visited, because of the knives. Way to make Roxy look like a bad influence.

[KatherinWinter]

As she feared the look Jess's mother gave her was judgemental. Roxy hated that her father couldn't stay out of her life. He had lost any right to affect her life years ago. It didn't matter that she had spent years proving herself. All that mattered was what her well respected father said. She pushed her frustration and anger to the back of her mind. They wouldn't accomplish anything."What did he tell you?" She asked as soon as they ended the room."Was it the story about me getting into fights?" Which was just true enough that people believed it without thinking. Especially when they saw her leathers or her knives. "Or was it the one about me sneaking out and stealing?" Again technically true but mot because she had been a troubled teen. "I know sleeping with his partner." That would be the perfect story to tell after their weekend at her father's. Again it was true enough that people would buy it.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Jess' ribs tightened. She should have known Roxy would be blunt and to-the-point right as they'd stepped through the door, but she couldn't blame her for wanting to address the issues as soon as possible. Watching as her mother's lips pressed together into a thin line, Jess knew the trepidation tensing her muscles wasn't just her own.

"He told me... A lot of things." Her mom broke the awkward silence, using that cool, controlled tone she put on when dealing with something unpleasant. "We can talk about it once you're both settled in. Then you can tell me your side of the story."

Pulling her luggage along the hallway, Jess gave her mom an earnest look over her shoulder. "Look, I highly doubt she'd do anything like that," she said, before falling silent as she realised her mistake. Revealing Reginald as a liar and manipulator wouldn't end well. Knowing him, he probably planned to create so much tension and distance in this household that she and Roxy would have to spend more time at his place. Or make it look like he was the only one who could tame Roxy's 'wild ways', earning her mom's trust.

Even while away from Reginald, there was no escaping him.

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy forced herself nor to roll her eyes and respond sarcastically. She could tell Jess' mom wasn't going to believe her any more than anyone else had. She had a record so it looked like her father was telling the truth. She shook her head knowing that she had been judged and found lacking. Which was too bad. The woman would have to deal with it. It wasn't like anyone of could change the fact they were stuck together.

Roxy stormed down the hall. She couldn't and wouldn't hide her anger. She threw her bag on the bed. She quickly unpacked the action helped her vent her anger but not the hurt. She should be used to being seen as a bad person. It shouldn't hurt anymore but it did. She took a deep breath and shoved her emotions as deep as she could before leaving the room.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Along the hallway, Jess kept it together. However, once in her bedroom next to the spare room where Roxy would sleep, she didn't mean to slam the door, but somehow did. Her hands shook with the barely-controlled anger of two people. She strode to her bed, flinging the bag onto it, and in a considerably Roxy-like gesture, punched the pillow. Once she'd taken several deep breaths, she set about unpacking.

As soon as she was done, she joined Roxy in the hallway. While neither of them looked forward to the talk, it was something they'd have to get out of the way. "No matter what kind of person he makes you out to be," she whispered as they headed towards the living room, "I know you're not like that." Yes there was still much she didn't know about the anchor and her past. What she did know, though, was that under Roxy's standoffish exterior was a genuinely kind person, willing to sacrifice much for others. It was also all too clear Reginald liked to twist the truth, making people look bad.

She trudged into the living room, where her mother waited, seated in an armchair across from the couch. Taking a seat, Jess braced herself for the inevitable.

"Now," her mother began. "I'm sorry, Jess, that the weekend has to start this way, but there are just a few things to talk through." She gave Jess an apologetic smile, before her face turned stony again, eyes fixed on Roxy. "Your father mentioned you've had some... issues, in the past. Issues he's been trying to help you through, and that Jess and I need to know about. First of all, he mentioned stealing is on your record. What really happened there, and why?"

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy stormed to the couch. She crossed her arms over her chest. She didn't look at either of them. "You can pull the damn record." She wouldn't have been surprised to learn that the woman had already done that. "When you do you'll see a dozen or so charges but I've never been convicted." She hadn't bothered counting. Mostly because her father always got her out. "You'll see just as many community services or therapy recommendations." Not that she ever did any real community service. Her father had no interest in the community. He thought therapy was a joke. She had been penalized for being caught. "You'll also notice that my record has been spotless since I was sixteen." When she had moved out of her father's house because he had sold her to his partner. "Let's call it teenage rebellion and move on with our lives."

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

"I've already seen the record," Jess' mom explained. "Assault and battery also came up several times. Those would be the fights your father mentioned, and I have to say, that sounds like more than regular teenage rebellion. It isn't my job to judge, I'd just like to hear the full story, if you're willing to say."

Jess clenched her fists in her lap. Two things were clear - her mom couldn't help but judge a little, brimming with worry given the personal involvement, and Roxy wasn't letting on everything. There was more to the charges than it seemed. Even if they turned out technically true, the thought was certainly jarring, but she didn't blame Roxy for acting out.

"And I hope therapy helped, at least," her mom continued. "Are the current therapy sessions going well?"

[KatherinWinter]

"Would it make any difference?" Roxy asked softly. She didn't think it would. Explaining felt like making excuses for herself and her actions. She didn't like excuses even if they were legit ones. "I'm going to say this once then I'm dropping the subject. You can decide how you want to handle the information." It would affect them more than it would affect her. They could accept it or they deal with the consequences.

"I got into fights." She stood up not looking at either of them."My father wanted me to be as good as his men. It didn't matter that I was smaller and younger than they were." She would tell them about the consequences for failing. They didn't matter and she wasn't ready to be that open with people who had put her in a box she had worked so hard to get out of. "I stole only what I was assigned to prove that I could." She moved towards the hallway. She was done. They had ripped the bandaid off and exposed things she wasn't ready to deal with. Especially with strangers. "When I was sixteen my father decided the best use for a daughter was an arranged marriage. Being a lesbian I refused so he took matters into his own hands." She told them before she began to walk down the hall. She was shaking with anger and pain. "Counseling is a waste of time when people believe those paying the bills. I stopped going when I moved out." She told them before slammed the door to her room and leaning against it.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Jess gritted her teeth against the secondhand anger and shame bubbling up. She knew her mother meant well, but such intrusive questions weren't going to help, especially when Roxy was nowhere near ready to give the answers. It was like picking a scab off of a wound that hadn't yet healed.

To her, Roxy's answers weren't a surprise. She'd figured there had to be more to her past than Reginald made it seem. Her mother, on the other hand, tried to remain neutral and professional, but Jess caught the slight raising of her eyebrows - and the spiking worry.

"Roxy," her mother called, standing and heading to the doorway. "If you don't mind saying, what exactly happened? Because this doesn't match what he said. Remember, my job isn't to judge, or tell anyone..."

Instead of responding, Roxy stormed down the hallway and disappeared into her room, slamming the door. Jess flinched as the full force of her mother's shock began to seep in, along with random traces of emotion from neighbours. "I'm sorry," she murmured, hurrying past her mom, along the hallway. It wasn't her fault, she knew that rationally, but she couldn't help feeling in part responsible.

The tumult of moods faded as she neared the spare room, but that familiar seething still emanated from it. She hesitated, unsure what to say, before knocking on the door. "Hey... I knew there had to be a reason for all of it," she said softly. "So much for a pleasant weekend though, huh?"

[KatherinWinter]

Anger swirled around Roxy like a contained tornado. In the center of that storm was hurt. A pain that she denied and hide. It wasn't bad enough that she had been rejected by her parents. Now she had been rejected by Jess's mother. Someone she couldn't avoid. She hadn't been feminine enough for her mother or masculine enough for her father. Now she wasn't good enough for Jess.

Frustrated and needing to vent Roxy started doing a martial art routine. As she practiced her kicks memories flashed through her mind. First she was nine. Her mother had insisted they do a girls day. Even though she hadn't been comfortable with girly things she had been determined to do her best. They had done all the things her mother wanted. She let them fuss with her hair. She had gotten her nails done. She had even worn a dress. It had been one of the few times she had given in and worn a dress but it hadn't been enough. When they got home her mother had looked at her and said. "Roxanne you're never going to be the daughter I've dreamed of. It's better if you be your father's son."

Her mother had filed for divorce that day. Roxy had burned the dress but kept the jewelry as a reminder that she wasn't feminine and to deserve her mother's love. From that day forward she had done her best to live up to her father's expectations. She thought she had done well until she was sixteen.

When she was fifteen, Roxy heard rumors that one of her girlfriends had gotten pregnant. She had paid no attention to the rumor. It hadn't been the first time she heard one. Things changed when tye child had been turned out to be a boy. Her father had a DNA test but she hadn't been worried. They had done this before. But this time the DNA test showed that the boy was her father's and that's when things a second time.

"The boy will be my heir and that's finally Roxanne." Her father told her that day. His second there to witness her rejection. "I have a son. You only have one use to me as my daughter. I will marry you to secure an alliance for me." She had fought him tooth and nail until her birthday when he had taken things out of her control and drugged her.