[IC] Wolves of the Apocalypse [ OOC ]

[Sapphic Pigeon]

A Tattooed Girl && LoneSilverWolf Collab Post :D

Rogue
Trees flew passed my window as we flew down the highway, my mind racing in a thousand different directions as we drove into the unknown. I was somewhat familiar with these back roads through the woods but had only been here a time or two, on better, more civil terms. My blank stare turned towards the man who sat in the driver’s seat. The man who wreaked of alcohol and cigarettes. The man I called my father--not by choice of course. His hat was pulled down low over his forehead, chewing on a toothpick and staring angrily out the windshield as he swerved all over the dirt road. He had just killed my mother--in front of me, at point blank range. I could smell her all over me. I could smell her blood that stained my t-shirt and jeans. I could smell the lingering scent of death. Suddenly he turned to stare at me, and his expression hardened ever so slightly. [i]”What are you looking at me like that for, Danny? Ain’t nothin’ happened. Y-you remember that song, Bonnie and Clyde by Eminem that we used to listen to when you were younger? ‘Maybe when you're old enough to understand a little better I'll explain it to ya, But for now we'll just say mama was real real bad, She was bein mean to dad and made him real real mad’. Yo’ mama don’ pissed me off and.. I’m just sorry you had to see that, darlin’.” Right then, is when I finally found my voice. [b]”Sorry..I had..to see that…” I narrowed my eyes at him and, at the top of my lungs I screamed, “SORRY!?” That’s when it happened-- the agonizing pain began to wrack my body as I screamed out in pain, swinging my arm towards my dad, grabbing ahold of his arm and pulling at him. The car began to swerve worse than before, and I could feel my body being pulled and twisted in ways it never had before. Suddenly, I was staring out of a whole different set of eyes. Everything was sharper, and there was more attention to detail. Then the smell hit me hot and heavy--[i]fear. My head whipped into my father’s direction, and I could only see fear in his eyes as he screamed for help, steering in the opposite direction of me as if he could somehow get away from me. All the anger pent up inside me was looking for a way out, and without thinking I closed my eyes as I lunged forward, a loud snarl ripping through my chest…[/i]
And that’s when I woke up with a jolt, screaming and gripping the sheets in one hand, holding my knife in the other upright as if I was going to stab someone. As I came to, I realized where I was. Shoulders shaking in tremors, I took in short ragged breaths as I tried to get a handle on reality. ”It was just a dream,” I told myself over and over, in my head, but it wasn’t too reassuring.

Navarro
I was yanked from a sound sleep hearing screams. For a fraction of a second, I thought they were in my head--that I’d been having a fucked up dream--but I recognized the cries. I was alert before my eyes were fully open. I reached beneath my pillow, pulling my M45 and sliding my feet over the bed. I peered into the darkness, then turned on the flashlight beneath the barrel of the pistol, shining it at the door. Nothing. I could hear the sound of a knife slicing the air, and turned around to see Devereaux--she’d woken, probably from another nightmare. My own racing heart starting to slow down, I put the weapon beneath the pillow, and gazed at her for a long moment, folding my arms across my chest. When I looked at Devereaux I saw the girl who pulled my ass out of the fire--kept me alive. I’d prolly be dead ten times over if she weren’t around. Course, I might’ve saved her a time or two as well. Maybe. Alright, probably not, but still. I would--given the chance.
I slowly strode over, sitting down beside her, and catching her wrists. “Don’t think the knife will kill a dream,” I told her, my voice soft and low. I put an arm around her neck, staring at the knife she was holding for a moment, then turning back to her horrified face. “It’s alright, you know. You’re back in post-apocalyptia now.” I didn’t say anything else, just let my presence do the talking for me. I’ve never been one for words, after all. I reached out, offering to take the knife from her hands for her, wondering if this was one of the nightmares she’s shared before, or a personal, private hell that she’d feel she had to deal with alone. The girl was my best and only friend out here--if you don’t count my cat. If I could be there for her, I damn well would.

Rogue
“Don’t think the knife will kill a dream,” I look over at him, my face still distorted in horror. ”It’s alright, you know.” I shook my head, slowly all the tension fading from me as I let out a deep, soft sigh. A few seconds pass before I lift my head to meet his gaze, staring back into his eyes. His big ol’ browns. I couldn’t help but let go of a small, small smile. “Even when I am ready to completely fall apart, you always find some way to make me smile through the pain, Brother.” I lean forward and softly kiss his temple, leaning against him and placing my head on his shoulder, just trying to relax. “Was about my past.. a day I try hard not to think about anymore. It’s been haunting me recently, and I don’t know what to do.” I turned to look at him, a bit closer to him than I’d like to be. Not that I didn’t like him, I just respected personal space too much. “I’m really sorry for these last few nights.. I could see about moving to another room, if you need me to. I don’t mind at all.” Reaching over, I tossed my knife onto the writing desk where it would be out of my reach.

Navarro
I listened as she told me her dream was about her past, how it’s been haunting her. I closed my eyes as she kissed my temple, and leaned her head on my shoulders--listening to her tell the story. Or at least, what she was willing to reveal. The past….truth be told, I understood exactly how she felt. Soon as she mentioned it, I found my thumb running across the dogtags that I wore around my neck--not my own either. I held her as she told me she didn’t know what to do, nodding in understanding. I’m really sorry for these last few nights.. I could see about moving to another room, if you need me to. I don’t mind at all .

When she spoke those words, I let out a small laugh, shaking my head. ”What, you think you Navy SEALs are the only ones that go through sleep deprivation in bootcamp?” I joked, hoping to ruffle her feathers a little and make her feel somewhat better. ”Don’t even think about it. If I wanted to have a better nights sleep, hell, I’d just go out into the damn Tool Shed or something.” I gave her a smile, kissing the top of her head. ”I wouldn’t trade roommies for the world. Besides, who the fuck else is gonna put up with me? You put someone else in here, one of us is gonna end up dead and it ain’t gonna be me. Just sayin.’” I watched as she tossed her knife onto the desk, and couldn’t resist giving her another laugh. ”God, you throw like such a girl!” I teased, gently pushing her shoulder.

Rogue
”God, you throw like such a girl!” I shook my head smiling, rolling my eyes at the same time. “You just don’t ever let up, do ya? Even if I am your Alpha.” As I say ‘your Alpha’ my eyes glow red, pushing my Alpha wolf-ness at him with a smirk.

[b]Navarro
I watch as Devereaux’s eyes change from beautiful brown to deep, ferocious red--her Alpha color. I could sense the beast within her near to the surface--I could feel Shadow’s presence and Snowball began to stir at that feeling. My own wolf, that part of me that I had learned to control years before, struggled to break out, to leap forward--but I was able to contain it.Nevertheless, I was sure that had I been in front of a mirror, I’d see my own eyes shift to deep orange. I blinked, thinking to myself settle down, Snowball,, and gave Devereaux a smirk. ”Got that right, Nellie; I ain’t never been one to let up. Besides, does you some good, don’t ya think? Just admit it, you like it rough!” I gave Nellie a playful wink as I spoke the last words, chuckling a little and wondering if that was going to earn me a slap in the nose.

Rogue
I could feel my face burning, glad it was night time and there was no light to show it. My Alpha eyes fade, returning to my baby browns and I lean forward slowly. Pushing further into his personal space, I could feel the wolf in me stirring, not liking the close contact--but I ignored it. Mine and Harper’s lips were only inches apart but I planned to keep them at -least- that far. With a smirk on my lips, I looked down at his then back up into his eyes and say softly in a teasing tone, “You have no idea, Marine.” I smile, brushing the tip of my nose against his and slowly laying down in bed. I turn over onto my stomach, cradling my pillow in my arms with my face half buried into it.
close

Navarro
When her eyes shifted back into their usual colors, Snowball DID begin to settle just a little. At least, until Nellie pushed herself closer to me--closer than she’d ever really been except in the heat of combat, when she drug my wounded ass (literally) out of the fire. I felt my heart quicken, as her lips came within inches of my own, and I let out a small, barely audible laugh as she spoke, ”You have no idea, Marine.” I took in a deep breath as her nose touched mine just enough to tickle--then she swept herself away, laying back down in bed. I watched her turn over on her stomach, as she always did, and I leaned back myself, resting my head against the side of her bed and gazing over into her eyes. “You know….” I murmured, my voice trailing off as my mind seemed to stop functioning for a moment. “It’s funny, lookin’ back. Remember that joint op...I got shot in the fuckin’ ass, nearly bayoneted by a damn tango, and THEN nearly choked to death by his buddy? Did you ever think, during those days, we’d be in the apocalypse together?” I took in a deep breath, letting it out in a slow sigh. ”I sure as hell never thought I’d live to see...this. Gotta say though, ain’t nobody I’d rather have at my back.”

[lonewolf888978]

Drake slide over the car, bullets flying over his head, and hitting the door on the other side of the red prius. The bandits attacked him minutes before, popping the tires of his Chevy Pickup, and nearly blowing Drake's head off. He slid the truck to a stop, and fired some rounds back, hitting one bandit in the throat, and the other in the arm. The third and final bandit fired what looked like an AK-47 in the dim lighted night at Drake, a bullet scrapping his leg. He sprinted towards the prius, which is where he is now. Firing Allie's pistol, Drake caught one of the bandits in the throat, and the other in the stomach, then the eye. Listening, he was satisfied with hearing nothing, and he approached his fallen enemies cautiously. Checking their bodies, he grabbed a candy bar and a can of beer of another, then spotted a pair of keys on the final one. Taking the keys, he risked hitting the lock button, letting a car lock right down the road. Grabbing his things and jogging there, he climbed into the very nice 2012 Camaro, and drove down the road.Hearing a bloodcurdling sound, he heard a slight movement behind him, and felt a pistol on the back of his neck. Looking in the rear view mirror, he spotted a women in a hood, her hair dangling in her partially visible face, the rest covered by a face mask on her mouth. She murmured [b"]Pull it over you fucking murderer, before I blow your brains out right now."[/b] Drake did as she asked, and slowly got out of the car. Hands above his head he turned and said "They fired first- just calm down before you get hurt..." She laughed slightly and fired into the air, nearly shooting Drake's ear's off. Dont know if you have noticed, you were the one at gun point. Flinching, Drake hand fell slightly, almost resting on the end of the machete. The lady said something, but Drake suddenly dropped down, sweeping his feet under hers, knocking her to the ground. His hand gripped his machete, and swung down, cutting into her exposed throat. She fired a few times as this happened, all of them straight into the air. Sighing, he sat down in the car whispering to himself "Fuck that was intense"

The prison in sight, he laughed with joy,and drove up to the front gate. The sun was rising now, and two red lasers caught his attention. He slowed the car and got out, his hands up. He yelled up to one of the guards "Whats up? Can I come in or do I gotta wait till curfew is over?" he said with a joking tone in his voice.

[Sapphic Pigeon]

Enzo

I could feel her small hands running through the fur at the back of my neck. This dream had been going on for the longest time, and I wondered how much time had really passed in the real world. Only reason I knew it was a dream.. was because she was here, alive.. with me. I decided to enjoy it while it lasted, and pretend for just one more night that I still had the love of my life at my side. Suddenly her grip tightened on my fur and I winced in pain, whimpering to let her know it was hurting me. I blinked and as I opened my eyes to look in her direction the whole scenery changed and I was no longer beside her-- a crawler was clawing at my back and neck, trying to sink its teeth into me but only getting fur. Quickly standing to my feet, I shake it off and it flies a few feet away smacking into a tree. Of course, it's not dead, but I don't care.

I grab my pack between my teeth and dart off in the opposite direction of the crawler. There was no telling how many more were nearby. It was almost dawn now. The sun was just coming over the highest ridge of the mountain ahead f me and the sky was tinted beautiful pinks and oranges. The clouds however, looked like they were on fire. Another great memory. She was always making me look up at the clouds, to see the good and the beautiful in the world when there was nothing else left. I lost myself in that moment as I ran without stopping, not knowing where I was really going.

[[ OOC:: I don't know what to do with Daniella yet.. ]]

[lonewolf888978]

[center]Timber traveled slowly through the woods, letting his dog Mister Barker keep up with him. He trained him to do that about a year or two ago. He stalked the deer for miles now, and it finally rested at a partially melted stream. He attacked the side of the deer's throat, taking it by surprise, and ripping it out in a bloody pull. He sent his paw into the deer's face, finishing it off. He slashed open the side of the deer for his dog, which was alittle unnatural but hey, what was natural anymore? The two canines finished it off, and went back to his camp. His camp was just a hummer with some humans bones attached to the side, back, and a skull on the hood of the hummer. He turned back to his human form, and Alexander climbed in his car and headed down the dirt road back to the highway. He drove humming to himself, and closed his eyes to listen to the song better. He felt the car slightly start turning off the road, and opened them to see a small red car swerving to miss the hummer. The hummer tboned it, and sent it rolling into a small truck. It slightly dented the hummer, and the car landed right side up. Alittle daze, he checked on Mister Barker in the backseat, and it was fine. Getting out of the car, he walked towards the red car.

The passenger door was open, and the driver side person was barely alive. Smiling at the person, he drew his revolver and put the barrel into the young mans eye. He pushed it alittle deeper, and heard the man scream in pain. He observed the mans chest, a piece of metal stuck out of it. He slowly twisted the metal out, and put the revolver in the wound. The man tried to plead and screamed slightly. He aimed the gun on towards the mans throat and fired three rounds. One went out the mans shoulder, the next alittle more towards his neck, and the final went out his neck and into the top of the car. A lady on the other side of the car scream and began running the other way. She was limping however, and her leg was twisted awarkwardly. He fired another shot, hit her hip and watched her fall to the ground. He whistled and pointed his finger at the lady, signaling for Barker to attack her.

[Sapphic Pigeon]

Collab between LoneSilverWolf and I

Rogue

It wasn’t till I felt Daxx’s paws jabbing into my spine that I finally woke from a semi-decent slumber. I turn to glare at my pup for waking me from an enjoyable sleep but can’t help but smile when I see his cute scruffy face. I shake my head and turn away as I rub the back of my neck, yawning softly. There was hardly any light coming through the blinds of the window, but I could tell the sun was just barely rising, not going down. It was time for a run. Looking down to see my Rescue-ee still sleeping, I smirk and suddenly get an idea. I giggle a bit and slip down onto his mattress, pushing my hands and feet up against his back growling like a dog. “Come on, Nav! Wake up ya’ big lug! You’re late!”

Navarro

I startle awake, feeling something digging into my back. Eyes flying open, my hands went towards my pillow. I’m not thinking right now--it’s pure reflex at this point. My hand was already under my pillow, clasping the handle of my pistol before I heard the soft growling and recognized the voice; “Come on, Nav! Wake up, ya big lug! You’re late!” I relax as the soft voice rings in my ears, and release the weapon, sliding my hand back from under the pillow. Heart still beating fast, I roll over on my side, and gaze into Devereaux's eyes, giving her a soft smile. “You know, you startled the shit out of me!” I tell her, laughing. I then have an idea of my own. I suddenly leap forward, and take her hands, pinning them down, a wide smile on my face as I sit on her feet. “Got the drop on ya, Seal...go ahead and say it, ‘Marines kick ass.’ OR, ‘Oh Navarro, I could never match your skills and wit!’ Something like that.” I wink at her as I hold her hands down, and feel the flash of the wolf within--but I push Snowball into the back of my mind, ignoring the beast for now.

Rogue

I shake my head and look up at him, then laugh as I hear Daxx growling towards Nav and glance at my dog. ”Heel, boy, heel. We’re just playing.” I smirk and turn my gaze back to Nav, raising an eyebrow at him. ”Don’t make me descend hell on you. Hell, hell hath no fury like a woman’s revenge, Nav. I’ll bring out my charm, and if that won’t work.. it’s Alpha time, baby!” I laugh and wink back at him, not moving much in terms of being pinned down, just laying down quite relaxed.

Navarro

I look over at Daxx as he growls, the corner of my lips forming a smirk. He’s a damn loyal--and brave dog. He has to know what I am, what I can become, yet growls anyway, as if to warn me not to get too rough with his owner. I hear Water Lily tell him to heel, and turn my gaze back to her. “Don’t make me descend hell on you. Hell, hell hath no fury like a womans Revenge, Nav. I’ll bring out my charm, and if that won’t work...it’s Alpha time, baby!” I look down for a moment, catch her wink, feel her lax body unmoving. Of course she knows I’m just playing with her--truth is she could flip me on my ass at any time with that fancy SEAL training of hers. Still, possibly pressing my luck a hair, I laugh. “The charm, huh? Sounds intriguing, Water Lily...you’ll have to tell me more about this charm sometime…” I let her wrists go, flopping down next to her on the bed, momentarily gazing up at the ceiling, wondering how long of a run she’s going to want to go on this morning. Turning my head to look at her while I lay there, I let out a small sigh. “You know...you’ve pulled me out of the fire God only knows how many times...think I’ll ever be able to return the favor?” I lean back as I ask this, resting my hands behind my head, enjoying the moment between her and I--we spend most of the day killing zombies or getting people in this prison/safehouse in line, after all.

Rogue

I let out a soft laugh, shaking my head as I sat up and scooted off of his bed to get up and get ready for the day. A few feet away, I can hear Daxx hop over Nav and start lapping at his water bowl. All the sounds of such a ordinary day, in such an extraordinary time. I could remember the time when I first brought Daxx home after he was put out to retire, he and I would wake early each morning for a run and he would always take a big drink of water before we’d go. It always seemed to slow him down quite a bit when he did, rather than when he wouldn’t drink so much. It took me a second to bring myself back to the moment, standing there with my hands on either side of the sink staring into the mirror, staring into my own eyes. As I stared, I could see them start to burn deep red and that particular part of me scared myself. I quickly looked away and took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly-- then it dawned on me that I had never answered Nav’s question. Maybe it was a rhetorical question? I figured I could answer anyways. ”Well, to answer your question, um.. probably not.” As I stood in the doorway looking down the hall, I made eye contact with one of the other guards and he gave me a smile. A smile I knew all too well. Shaking my head, I sliced my hand by my throat a couple times and mouthed ‘later’.

Navarro

When Devereaux slid off the bed and looked for a while into the mirror, I was left to my own thoughts for a moment, too. The girl was hard to read sometimes, and I’ll admit a small sense of loss when she got up. I wondered what was going through her mind just then. Was she thinking of lost family or friends? Or was she plotting out the day? Were they good thoughts or bad ones? My brow furrowing slightly, I sat up, crossing my legs indian style while I looked over at Daxx for a moment. “Good boy...you’re a good dog, y’know that?” I said to the dog. Then Devereaux’s voice, in answer to my question, reached my ears. I smirked a little as she said “probably not,” shaking my head slightly and snorting. I couldn’t argue with her either, that was the real bitch of it. I stood to my feet and wandered over towards the sink where she just was--and caught her gazing at one of the guards outside the doorway through the mirror. I averted my gaze as she motioned to him, staring into the porcelain and closing my eyes. I could feel the wolf within stirring, and fought it down. She is your friend, Nav. Your friend and nothing more. You’ve no right to feel this way and you know it! I chastised myself. She never explicitly told me but...I knew what went on behind closed doors...literally. I gazed into the mirror, saw my own light brown hair and eyes-- only they weren’t my usual deep brown. Instead, they were glowing orange. I blinked, and the color didn’t change. The wolf was writhing to get out, to fight against the slew of feelings in my heart, and I squeezed them shut, squeezing the sink so hard I could feel a crack start to form where my fingers were. Semi-destructive though this was, it helped. I felt the wolf begin to recede, to bend to my will. Taking in a deep breath, I let it out slowly, swallowing hard, and put on my best fake smile I could muster, and turned to Devereaux.

“Don’t be so sure about that,” I told her, unable to take the clipped edge out of my voice despite my best efforts. It wasn’t very noticeable, but it *was* there. “You SEALS are all alike, aren’t you? We Marines know a thing or two too, ya know?” I managed a chuckle, before finding one of my shirts and tossing it over my head. I turned back towards her, just in time to see Mila dart between her legs and into the room. With a tiny meow, the cat gazed up at me with her beautiful emerald eyes. A Russian Blue, her short fur was so dark it looked nearly black. I managed a real smile this time, and picked the girl up, stroking her ears as she purred softly in my arms. “And where the hell have you been?” I asked her, kissing her furry little head before tossing her onto the bed. “So what are we doing today, Water-Lilly?” I asked, still a slight edginess to my voice--but much more hidden this time. “I’m assuming we’re not just gonna sit on our asses this morning!”

Rogue

As much as I wanted to know what had caused his sudden tenseness in his body and edge in his voice, I pretended as if I didn’t notice anything change in him. Without moving my lower body, I turned my head and fixed my eyes into his, letting them glow Alpha Red. The power in my words that of which only an Alpha can force unto another. ”Nav. Do you trust me?” Stepping away from the door slowly, I cross the distance between us in a couple strides, only a few inches from him. I gaze deeply into his eyes, my expression soft but stern at once. ”Would you stay by my side to whatever end? Defend me as if I’d never done a thing wrong?” I put a little bit of distance between us but not much more than was already there to begin with when I’d stepped forward. His tenseness was really stirring the wolf within me and I didn’t like the way she wanted to react to his… emotions. Whatever the hell was going on with him. ”Because I need to know. I need to know that out of everyone--I chose you to be the one and only that I trust and put my faith in.. out of everyone, I need to know you won’t abandon me like everyone else did because of who I am.. and the things I’ve done, or future fuck-ups that I will commit.” I swallowed hard, then. I couldn’t remember ever really opening up and saying something that brave in god knows how long-- or if at all, with Nav at least.

Navarro

I was completely taken aback as Water Lily stepped within inches of me, the red in her eyes glittering like polished rubies, staring right into my own eyes. And then her question. Did I trust her...would I stand by her side no matter what, and not abandon her? I blinked, taken by surprise at her words. Never, for as long as I’d known Devereaux, had she spoken to me in this way. I could feel it, the wolf in her, the power of the Alpha behind the human body. No...within it. My own wolf began to recede even more, and I’m sure the bright orange glow was fading to dull; if it was there at all. I gazed at Devereaux for several minutes, contemplating her question, because they struck a chord in my heart. I clenched my teeth, this time to bite back something I’d not thought I was capable of feeling in years--the threat of...tears? Blinking again, I managed a smile, albeit a small one. “Of course...of course I trust you--and you can trust me. If I didn’t trust you, Water Lily, I’d be dead a dozen times over, yeah?” I could feel the attempt at humor fall flat to such a serious question, and I shook my head softly, smile fading. I held up my hand, the one she bit, showing the scar between my thumb and index finger, a serious look on my face now. “You gave me this...I don’t take that lightly. I trust you with my life, and this mark...this scar--it’s permanent. It’s forever. Like me. I’m not abandoning you; until death takes me, Devereaux, no matter what…” I let my voice trail...I’d almost said something to her, something that both of us may regret if I did.

Dare I? No. No, I dare not. Biting my tongue, I let the rest of the thought remain just that; a thought. Because she was something else entirely. A good friend, and despite what was going on, I couldn’t honestly say what she’d do if I said what was going on in my mind. Make me leave the pack? I doubted that, but she might look at me a lot differently. I had to force the thoughts away. I trusted her, plain and simple. She couldn’t be blamed if I told her nothing of my feelings, right? My secret. Maybe it would die with me, maybe not. Whatever the case, now as not the time. Besides, what would I say? I reached over, placing my scarred hand against her cheek, staring into those eyes for several moments until the beast within threatened to come bursting out. I then lowered my hand and turned away, staring at my boots instead. “That’s a promise, Water Lily,” I muttered, trying desperately to mask the emotions behind those five words.

Rogue

After everything Nav and I had been through together, I felt so many mixed emotions when it came to him. Sometimes he felt like my best and only friend, other times he felt like the brother I never had-- and then moments like the one I felt as his hand rested against my cheek, every bit of me wanted him to hold me close and tell me I was his. One reason I hated being human-- we never really know what we want. As his hand dropped and he turned away, a sense of cold ran over me like a chilled rain pouring over me. Something inside me began to ache, and I couldn’t help myself-- letting go of the Alpha and SEAL in me, just being human, I crossed the distance between us again and wrapped my arms around his midsection, wrapping him up in a tight hug. As I held him against me and buried my face into his chest, I could feel Daxx nosing my calf as if saying ‘Let’s go!’ but I shooed him away with my foot, closing my eyes and just holding onto Nav. ”I’m tired of losing people, Nav.. I don’t wanna lose you,” I murmurred. ”You are the closest thing to family I’ve had in, god-- years, Nav! I can’t even--” Suddenly my voice just trailed off as I felt the familiar sting of tears in my eyes. Even as military--who were supposed to be Poster Children for strength, I every now and then let my guard down when no one was looking, unless it was Nav. Nav had seen me cry more than anyone my entire life. Looking down at our shoes, I could feel a little piece of that wall crumbling--falling apart bit by bit. Why do I have to be so emotional-- WHY?!

Navarro

It seems that Devereaux is full of surprises today. I didn’t even hear her coming, I just felt her arms envelop me, felt her face in my chest. It took me a moment to realize just what was happening. We’ve hugged on occasion before, but this was somehow...different. I wasn’t exactly sure what I should do; I just felt a sudden sense of peace wash over me. Snowball was now calm and docile as a neutered rabbit. I gently rested an arm over her shoulders, and as we stood there, I felt as if I never wanted to leave that moment. If I could freeze time, live in one moment for the rest of my life...it felt as if that’d have been it right there. I took in a deep breath and was about to say something when she spoke. I’m tired of losing people, Nav.. I don’t wanna lose you. You are the closest thing to family I’ve had in, god-- years, Nav! I can’t even--” The distress in her words made me look down at her. While I couldn’t see her face, I could hear the threat of tears in her voice, feel them within her. While this wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen her cry, something felt different...I closed my eyes, heart breaking to hear the tone of her words. I pulled her closer, holding her. “It’s alright, Lily,” I said to her, my voice low. I dropped her nickname, as I always did when things were more serious. “You can let it out if you want to. It’s what I’m here for...among other things.” Perhaps I added that last part in, to try and elicit a small laugh, to help her fight the tears. Or maybe dry humor was so ingrained into my personality that I just couldn’t help it. But she was used to that, and never held it against me...I don’t think, anyway. I leaned down, kissing the top of her head, and stood there, trying to provide some comfort with whatever was troubling her.

Rogue
I couldn’t help but smile when I heard him call me by my middle name-- “Tiger Lily” often times made me blush but I never let Nav see. I didn’t want to let anything jeopardize our friendship. I still wasn’t sure how exactly I felt for him. As he kissed my forehead, I sighed and let everything go all at once, collecting my composure once more. I sniffled and stepped back from him just a hair, reaching up to cup his face in my hands, bending his head down so I could reach him as I returned a kiss to his forehead. ”I have to go, for now.. k? I’ll meet back up with you later, ok? I have some important business to attend to.”

Navarro

I watched as she stepped back, and felt her return the kiss to my own forehead. At that touch, that contact, I felt my heart beat just a little faster; the feel of her fingers across my cheeks, it wasn’t unlike that of feathers, at least in my mind. I almost sighed then, almost lost control and spilled my heart. I was able to maintain my composure only because of her words, telling me she had to go for now. I looked at her for a long moment, so many unspoken words wanting to be released--but I kept them locked away. Now was neither the time or the place. Would there ever be a time? Or was I doomed to a life of admiration from afar, never telling her what I felt within. Whatever was to come, at very least she’d be by my side, and that was something I couldn’t complain about. I took in a deep breath, and nodded as she spoke.

“Alright, then. Do you want me to do a quick perimeter run, tear up any shufflers that are too close?” I ask, my voice a bit lower than usual as I tried to deal with the emotions pressing down upon me. Perimeter runs were usually pretty entertaining, gave everyone involved a chance to go wolf. I loved letting the wolf out, running the wild, ripping zombies apart if one dared get too close. I tried to forget what her “business” might be as I gazed into her eyes, tried to keep my inner wolf at peace.

Rogue
I smile, reaching up and cupping the side of his face in my hand as I looked up into his eyes. ”Would be a good idea.. be safe, okay? I don’t want to have to come rescue your ass again.” I smirk and slowly let my hand fall from his face, turning away and grabbing my jacket off of the back of our bedroom door. I slip on the jacket, looking over my shoulder at Nav before slipping out the door and walking down the hallway towards the Tool Shed.

Navarro

Sometimes perimeter runs are some of the most interesting things there are. You can go wolf, dashing around the prison, and sometimes you can find zombies trying to break through. Sometimes you get the chance to let the wolf have his way, and allow him to attack these shufflers. Sometimes, these perimeter runs turn out to be the highlight of the day. This was not the case this time, however. I spent hours roaming the perimeter of the prison, and there was nothing to be found. It was incredibly dull, made even worse by the absence of Devereaux. But, as any good soldier does, I toughed it out. Retrieving the clothes that I hid behind a tree, I quickly dressed after returning to human form, then headed back through the heavily guarded gates of Cook County Prison. I nodded to a couple of guards on my way through, and headed towards what we call Soldier Housing...or among some of us, the Wolf’s Den. I particularly enjoyed looking at the place as a den of wolves, because all of us living there were...hiding an inner beast like my own.

I pushed open the door, ready to see Lily, tell her how boring as hell my day was--and I did see her...but not like I wanted. As I wandered through the doorway and into the hall, I caught her with the guard from this morning, holding his hand as she headed...somewhere. Maybe they were about to part ways? I didn’t know for sure. The mere sight would’ve ruffled my fur had I been in wolf form--and I almost changed right there on the spot. The sight of her hand in his...it tormented me deeply. I could feel my eyes flash bright orange, I could feel the wolf within struggling to break free. Clenching my jaw tightly, I tried to get a hold of myself; my hands balling into fists at my side. I shut my eyes, struggling to focus...I could feel the bristle of fur wanting to break through flesh, but I wouldn’t let it. I couldn’t. Still, the sight threw me into a strange rage that I knew I had little right to feel. I swallowed hard, and began to make my way towards the room that Devereaux and I shared--but to do that, I’d have to pass...them. I tried to act normal as I passed by, turning to say hello to Tiger-Lily...but I knew. I knew the look in my eyes could not be hidden, the orange glow...hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if that damn guard couldn’t feel the rage radiation from me. I call it rage, but if I’m being honest, a good deal of it, if not most, would be pain. Hurt. Doing my best to keep my voice calm and steady, I nodded to the guard, before turning my gaze to Dev. “Well, hi Lil…” was all I could muster. I turned away quickly, meaning to continue to our quarters, wondering if she’d notice the look in my eyes...and wondering if he would notice too.

Rogue
There was a goofy, childish smile stuck on my face as I held Sergeant McKinley’s hand while we walked our way back from ‘our spot’. I could feel a sudden tense feeling around me, but I knew it wasn’t my own emotions nor was it McKinley’s. Then just as I looked up, I caught sight of Nav walking in our direction-- I nearly froze in place but forced myself to continue walking in a normal pace, letting go of McKinley’s hand slowly trying to not make it seem too weird for McKinley that I’d chosen to let go as Nav was in sight. I did, infact see the color change in Nav’s eyes. I could feel every emotion he felt as he grew closer and closer to me. I could feel it through our pack bond, and I knew he could feel mine too, or at least I hoped he could. Regret, sadness, and most of all-- fear. As Nav approached, I stopped as did McKinley beside me. My eyes quickly looked down towards the floor as I heard Nav say hello while he walked by. Clearing my throat, I glanced over my shoulder at him and called after him, ”Hey buddy-- um, how did the perimeter run go? I was just on my way to come rescue ya from the nasty biters. Thought you’d been overrun or something.” I attempt to laugh a little, but it would have been clear to anyone how fake and forced it was. However, I managed to keep a smile on my face.

Navarro

I’d made my way past Devereaux, before I started to feel some of her emotions...normally I was more in-tune to those sort of things, with the bond we share. But my own feelings were so strong, that they momentarily drowned anything else out. Somewhat ironically, the fact that I could feel sadness and regret, managed to calm me down, slightly. But the fear I felt, that made things hurt worse. Was she afraid of me, or afraid that I’d leave her pack? I didn’t know, and part of me didn’t want to know. The fact I could instill any fear at all was another hole in my heart, and it caused me to stop walking even before she called to me. ”Hey buddy-- um, how did the perimeter run go? I was just on my way to come rescue ya from the nasty biters. Thought you’d been overrun or something.”, I heard her say; the words made me stiffen slightly, but I could also hear the fake laugh, and realized she was probably trying just as hard as I was to maintain her own composure. I didn’t even bother trying to force a laugh of my own. Nor did I turn around to face her; I didn’t want her to see the glossiness in my eyes, which would stand out a lot more glowing as they were. Instead I spoke over my shoulder as well in answer. “Wasn’t anything to overrun me this time, Tiger-Lil. Was boring as shit out there. Not so much as a wild turkey by the perimeter.” I wanted to move, to find my way to our quarters, to vent the emotions tearing away at me--but at the same time, I couldn’t move. I felt frozen in place, and yet I couldn’t turn around to face Devereaux either. So, I just stood there where I was, hands at my side, and a heavy weight seemingly descending upon me.

McKinley
The Sergeant turned and looked towards Devereaux’s known friend and packmate, raising an eyebrow at the man who looked as if he had just had the shittiest day of his life. McKinley wasn’t too touchy feely when it came to emotional people, so as he turned his gaze back at Devereaux, he gently tugged her hand and smiled at her. ”Hey, c’mon. It’s almost sunset, lets go watch it. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. It’s quite magnificent.”

Rogue
I quickly pulled my hand away from his and looked up to glare at McKinley. Yeah, he was kind of an ass sometimes but… well, lets not go into details on why I still hang around with him. I looked back at Nav, feeling quite regretful about everything. It took everything in me not to turn, run over to him and hug him. I’d never let him go, and there’d be no end to my apologies. The time since I first suspected his feelings for me to now ..that time seemed to stretch forever. I knew this--McKinley and I, hurt Nav deeply. Sighing softly, I shook my head and looked back over at McKinley. ”I’ve got personal business elsewhere. Maybe you can go watch the sunset and tell me bout it later. It’s almost your shift at the guard tower anyway, you need to go, McKinley.” I could see the mixed emotions in his face at my words-- anger and a bit of jealousy. He didn’t say anything though, just nodded, bowed and plastered his best smirk for me as he turned and walked down the hall toward the door, heading for --I assumed-- the front gate for his duty. Once he exited the building, I hesitantly turned and looked back at my friend. I couldn’t face him just yet, not right now.. so I decided to just act normal. Walking past the frozen Nav, I walked into our room and was suddenly attacked by Daxx with paws a’flyin and puppy kisses all over my arms and face. I laughed softly and told Daxx “down”, and he did just that. I walk over to the desk, pull out the chair and sit down, opening my journal book and beginning to write in an entry inside.

Navarro

I didn’t look at McKinley or Devereaux as she told him she had “personal” business. I didn’t watch as the man left, presumably to get ready for his guard shift. I was feeling overwhelmed, with both my own emotions and the emotions positively radiating from Lily. I watched as she brushed past me, headed towards our room, and I felt a sense of...regret? Loss? as she walked away. I wanted so much, right then, to grab her shoulders, spin her around, tell her how I felt, how much it pained me to see her off with the guards for “special services” every day. I wanted to speak all of this to her, to tell her that ever since we first met, I knew she was special, that when she saved my life, it changed me...I’d never been so close to death before, and it made me have a new outlook on things. Made me realize what I was missing...made me see that I looked at her as far more than a friend. And yet, here I am...not having told her a damn thing, yearning to spill my heart, but...unwilling? Afraid? Maybe a little bit of both? Whatever the case was, I let her pass without saying a word. Sighing deeply when she was out of sight, I blinked HARD, but a single tear still escaped, trickling down my cheek and falling to the floor. I took a moment to try and contain myself, but to little avail. At best, I stopped a floodgate from opening.

Once I had managed to at least stem a bit of the emotion coursing through me, I walked into our room, and saw Devereaux writing something in her journal. Daxx, of course, wasn’t too far away. And Mila was lying on the bed, taking over the pillows like any self-respecting cat would. I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror, saw my eyes were still orange, though slightly less bright. Taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, I sat down on my pull-out bed,staring over at Devereaux. “So...hey,” I said, rather lamely, my voice trembling. “What are you doing, Tiger-Lily,” I asked, which was even more lame than the “hey.” My voice was a few octaves lower too, and I was doing a piss-poor job of disguising how upset I was. Again, typical me, at least around her. Seems I couldn’t hide a damn thing from Devereaux, even if she hadn’t bit me. I pat my leg while awaiting her response, and Mila perked up, softly paddling across the bed and curling up in my lap, purring like a little motorboat. Gently stroking her fur, I let out a soft sigh, trying desperately to calm my inner wolf.

Rogue
I was singing a song in my head losing myself in my writing when I heard Nav finally come in. It took just a few short moments, but I heard him speaking to me and I could tell he was still quite upset. Even with the world turned to shit, no government and no real remains of military.. I still kept my values about myself and the involvement of men in the service. McKinley on the other hand, that was just a bit of fun here and there, no real commitment even though he wanted it to be.. I didn’t. I didn’t want to risk emotion getting in the way of mine and Nav’s friendship anyway, though without meaning to it’d seemed I’d already done just that. As I sat there pondering my response I’d give him, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had torn a small rift in our friendship.

As I turned my gaze on him, I mumbled softly, ”I’m just writing a quick journal entry.. you know I do this every night… normally I’ll go up to the tower and watch the sun set as I do it though.” Suddenly I think about the word “sunset” and remember what McKinley had offered, shaking my head and turning back to my page, writing the last of the entry and slowly closing the notebook, stashing it away inside the drawer of the desk. Without warning, I burst out saying, ”McKinley and I aren’t together-- or...anything.. It um.. stress reliever, I guess you could say. He thinks it’s more, but I don’t exactly see him as anything more..than….” I let my voice trail off as I sat back in shock, bowing my head in shame, forehead in my hand with my elbow on the desk. Did I really just confess all that?....

Navarro

I tried not to notice or care that she said she usually watches the sunset. It did remind me of the moment before with McKinley but...I knew she liked those. I found myself more than a little surprised she turned him down, and was about to say something to her, about to tell her she should go enjoy the sunset, that I’d be alright….when she had a sudden outburst. [i]“McKinley and I aren’t together-- or...anything.. It um.. stress reliever, I guess you could say. He thinks it’s more, but I don’t exactly see him as anything more..than….”[/b] There was a long moment of silence as her voice trailed off, and I could see turmoil etched in her face, in her posture...and it tore me up seeing her like that. Maybe some part of me wanted to find relief that she didn’t have feelings for McKinley, not like that...but if I did, they were drowned out by the heartache of seeing Devereaux in such pain herself. Gently tossing Mila onto the bed, I walked over to her, lifting her chin to gaze into her eyes. “Look it’s...not really any of my business anyway, Tiger-Lily...I...had no right to be upset. It’s just……” it was my turn to let my voice trail off, and leave the rest unspoken. Gently letting go of her chin, I turned away--I didn’t want her to see into my eyes, afraid of what she might realize if she had contact for too long. I didn’t want her to know what I felt. I wasn’t even sure why...I stared at my feet, back to my friend, unsure of how I should even proceed at this point, and my heart torn--wanting to go into two different directions at the same time.