OP
Doc Doctor The Fight Doctor
Member
Seen
4 days ago
A headhunter with a taste for long pork pie.
Name: Zande Khanda
Epithet: The Vulture
Age: 32
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 195 pounds
Boxing Reach: 84.5 in
Dominant Hand: Right
Race: Human
Class: Warrior
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Weapons and Equipment- Two twenty-inch, 3.6 pound bearded, clawed sparth axes with prongs and oiled sheathes for immediate, silent access, a weighted serrated knife with a foot long blade, two seven inch steel karambit knives on either side of his belt, eight seven inch steel throwing knives sheathed on his forearms, four to a forearm with the hilts alternating back and forth in direction, a blowgun and eight darts with inland taipan venom, three one-ounce leather pouches of spitting cobra venom, rubber soled boots with three eight inch steel claws on each foot, a slab of quarter inch steel over a chestplate, steel codpiece, large paldrons and bicep guards with protruding spikes that can stop and snag bladed weapons, steel shinguards that rise over his knees, underclothing made from scaled steel plates, a trained pet vulture acting as a spotter, a black steel war mask in the shape of a flat, ghoulish skull, and reinforced nine ounce fingerless iron gauntlets imbedded with cast iron bird skulls.
He wears a double edged mortuary sword on his right hip. The pommel nut consists of a sharp one inch spike.
Overall Length: 41''
Blade: 33 3/8''
Weight: 3 lb 7 oz
P.O.B.: 3 1/2''
Thickness: 4.8 mm - 3.2 mm
Width: 37.5 mm
Grip Length: 3 3/4''
(The axes "Hot Steppa", slang for Free Criminal, & "Jancro", slang for Vulture)
Appearance- Zande is a tall, lean man whose musculature is best likened to that of a starved jaguar. The dense, tube-like muscles adorning his long arms and legs allow him to exude a great air of physical prowess despite his wiry look. Unwashed dreadlocks hang over lurid, amber eyes whilst high cheekbones accentuate his abnormal jaw muscles, the feral aspect pushed even further by his sharpened teeth and fingernails. He wears the scalps of recent victims on his belt, a garland of human ears around his neck, and is never without his clawed boots and tribal mask. A skull and crossbones is sewn upon his cloak.
Physical Abilities/Skills- Zande's untamed strength is far greater than his appearance would suggest, albeit reasonably less than that of a formidable professional weightlifter. He can bench 330 and run twenty-five miles per hour on average. His most impressive traits consist of his incredible biting and striking power. He hits like a lumberjack on PCP, and never neglects to train his jaws by chewing through blocks of wood and chunks of rubber, rendering him capable of chomping through an unhusked coconut in seconds. As he was raised a jungle wildman, he can scurry up and down obstacles with contemptuous ease and move with a silent swiftness comparable to his native brethren. He can interpret body language, read tells, and react to an opponent as quickly and easily as many legendary UFC fighters, like Jon Jones, Anderson Silva, and José Aldo.
He's able to throw all of his weapons with tremendous speed, force, and accuracy.
Personality~ Despite appearing as an unabashed murderer 24/7, Zande comes off surprisingly chill. He'll greet strangers with nods and smiles, share food and drink on a whim, and help out passersby who seem in need. He affords everyone his good humor and generosity- even his victims, although his generosity doesn't extend to letting them live. He prefers to make friends with those he hunts, as Zande is actually emotionally sensitive beneath his harsh exterior.
He takes rejection badly, can't stand being the brunt of insults, is prone to nightmares over innocuously silly things (he has an incredible phobia of cats), and in general sways between being a relaxed, cold-blooded manhunter, and a manic depressive schizophrenic depending on how others treat him.
In battle, he blooms with a black passion which transmogrifies him into the killing machine that he is, a demon-brained predator who relentlessly chases down his prey. His psychotic rushdowns are legendary for both the consistency of their success and for their ability to force most opponents into a defensive lock, the threat of his wild axes preventing them from counterattacking or fleeing, bullying and grinding hapless opponents right into the ground until their shield and willpower crumples beneath the onslaught.
Background- In the darkest depths of a savage jungle wilderness, shrouded in dread Congo mysteries beneath a sky of eternal blackness, there existed a tribe of maneaters. One would think that there would be no bottom amidst the depths of their depravity. Yet, a young boy native to this landscape of monsters found it. The word "bloodthirsty" is often thrown about. However, no other description of Zande holds so true. He was exiled from his village for exceptional reasons and became a freelance mercenary and bandit leader, feared across the land. He's a cannibal and a headhunter, who seeks to further his reputation by collecting the skulls of formidable opponents. What about the rest you say? All the bloody details of his life? Nay. He has accomplished many feats, but a story like that of Zande's is monotonous in its repetition. He travels, he trains, he kills, he sleeps. Why worry about the details, bwana?
Looking out from the entrance to Zande's lair. The inside is remarkably large, yet with so little elbow room.
Theme Music-
Name: Zande Khanda
Epithet: The Vulture
Age: 32
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 195 pounds
Boxing Reach: 84.5 in
Dominant Hand: Right
Race: Human
Class: Warrior
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Weapons and Equipment- Two twenty-inch, 3.6 pound bearded, clawed sparth axes with prongs and oiled sheathes for immediate, silent access, a weighted serrated knife with a foot long blade, two seven inch steel karambit knives on either side of his belt, eight seven inch steel throwing knives sheathed on his forearms, four to a forearm with the hilts alternating back and forth in direction, a blowgun and eight darts with inland taipan venom, three one-ounce leather pouches of spitting cobra venom, rubber soled boots with three eight inch steel claws on each foot, a slab of quarter inch steel over a chestplate, steel codpiece, large paldrons and bicep guards with protruding spikes that can stop and snag bladed weapons, steel shinguards that rise over his knees, underclothing made from scaled steel plates, a trained pet vulture acting as a spotter, a black steel war mask in the shape of a flat, ghoulish skull, and reinforced nine ounce fingerless iron gauntlets imbedded with cast iron bird skulls.
He wears a double edged mortuary sword on his right hip. The pommel nut consists of a sharp one inch spike.
Overall Length: 41''
Blade: 33 3/8''
Weight: 3 lb 7 oz
P.O.B.: 3 1/2''
Thickness: 4.8 mm - 3.2 mm
Width: 37.5 mm
Grip Length: 3 3/4''
(The axes "Hot Steppa", slang for Free Criminal, & "Jancro", slang for Vulture)
Appearance- Zande is a tall, lean man whose musculature is best likened to that of a starved jaguar. The dense, tube-like muscles adorning his long arms and legs allow him to exude a great air of physical prowess despite his wiry look. Unwashed dreadlocks hang over lurid, amber eyes whilst high cheekbones accentuate his abnormal jaw muscles, the feral aspect pushed even further by his sharpened teeth and fingernails. He wears the scalps of recent victims on his belt, a garland of human ears around his neck, and is never without his clawed boots and tribal mask. A skull and crossbones is sewn upon his cloak.
Physical Abilities/Skills- Zande's untamed strength is far greater than his appearance would suggest, albeit reasonably less than that of a formidable professional weightlifter. He can bench 330 and run twenty-five miles per hour on average. His most impressive traits consist of his incredible biting and striking power. He hits like a lumberjack on PCP, and never neglects to train his jaws by chewing through blocks of wood and chunks of rubber, rendering him capable of chomping through an unhusked coconut in seconds. As he was raised a jungle wildman, he can scurry up and down obstacles with contemptuous ease and move with a silent swiftness comparable to his native brethren. He can interpret body language, read tells, and react to an opponent as quickly and easily as many legendary UFC fighters, like Jon Jones, Anderson Silva, and José Aldo.
He's able to throw all of his weapons with tremendous speed, force, and accuracy.
Personality~ Despite appearing as an unabashed murderer 24/7, Zande comes off surprisingly chill. He'll greet strangers with nods and smiles, share food and drink on a whim, and help out passersby who seem in need. He affords everyone his good humor and generosity- even his victims, although his generosity doesn't extend to letting them live. He prefers to make friends with those he hunts, as Zande is actually emotionally sensitive beneath his harsh exterior.
He takes rejection badly, can't stand being the brunt of insults, is prone to nightmares over innocuously silly things (he has an incredible phobia of cats), and in general sways between being a relaxed, cold-blooded manhunter, and a manic depressive schizophrenic depending on how others treat him.
In battle, he blooms with a black passion which transmogrifies him into the killing machine that he is, a demon-brained predator who relentlessly chases down his prey. His psychotic rushdowns are legendary for both the consistency of their success and for their ability to force most opponents into a defensive lock, the threat of his wild axes preventing them from counterattacking or fleeing, bullying and grinding hapless opponents right into the ground until their shield and willpower crumples beneath the onslaught.
Background- In the darkest depths of a savage jungle wilderness, shrouded in dread Congo mysteries beneath a sky of eternal blackness, there existed a tribe of maneaters. One would think that there would be no bottom amidst the depths of their depravity. Yet, a young boy native to this landscape of monsters found it. The word "bloodthirsty" is often thrown about. However, no other description of Zande holds so true. He was exiled from his village for exceptional reasons and became a freelance mercenary and bandit leader, feared across the land. He's a cannibal and a headhunter, who seeks to further his reputation by collecting the skulls of formidable opponents. What about the rest you say? All the bloody details of his life? Nay. He has accomplished many feats, but a story like that of Zande's is monotonous in its repetition. He travels, he trains, he kills, he sleeps. Why worry about the details, bwana?
Looking out from the entrance to Zande's lair. The inside is remarkably large, yet with so little elbow room.
Theme Music-
OP
Doc Doctor The Fight Doctor
Member
Seen
4 days ago
A magical son of a bitch.
(Arkansas toothpick, derringer)
(Arkansas toothpick, derringer)
Name: Kentucky Tom
Age: 32
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 180 pounds
Race: Human
Class: Jerkwad
Alignment: Chaotic
Eye Color: Unknown
Weapons and Equipment: Ray-Ban sunglasses, unfiltered Wildhorse cigarettes, white suit with black tie, a black 16 ounce/24-inch aluminum softball bat, Zippo.
Physical Abilities/Skills: Kentucky Tom is a hardass dickweed who used to be the fastest talkin' auctioneer in black market history. He has only one special ability, a swiss army knife of humiliation. His power is known as "Southern Fried Affectations". He can inflict nasty effects upon enemies by speaking the magic words of a curse and then pointing and firing a golf ball to medicine ball sized orb of arcane energy. The speed and color of the shot depend of the nastiness of the curse. Such curses as "Horndoggums Humprumpus" travel at the speed of ML fastballs, whilst curses like "Pinkwimpor Buttflamingonum" move as fast as bullets.
Those in the middle are as fast as arrows. He can slow down spells as much as he wants and return them to full speed at will after firing them, as much as he likes. He can combine multiple curses into a single attack, the arcane orb increasing approximately in size with each spell added. He can speak at 750 words per minute, more than twice as quick as a top form auctioneer or high school debater. He cannot use the same curse twice in a row, a handicap offset by how the spells cannot be stopped, redirected, or impeded by anyone but Tom. He has no need for a wand, but may use his Arkansas Toothpick or baseball bat as such if desired. With his bat he can club a spell as if it were a baseball to increase its speed by up to 110 MPH (full strength swing). At the moment they're launched spells retain perfect magical accuracy towards whatever Tom will swing at, though they can't change trajectory once launched. The Arkansas Toothpick retains a memory of each spell channeled through it in the blade, compiling the essence of each effect for release with a nick of the blade, one at a time or altogether as Tom sees fit. The only way to break these curses is to kill him. The known curses he uses are...
*"Impreggio Bitchpleasum"- Impregnates whomever he is pointing at, forcing a baby to be conceived within them. This works on men and inanimate objects. Each subsequent hit halves the pregnancy time, starting at one week pregnant. The baby is ready by week forty. (Mid-Speed)
*"Slipsoapia Faceplantium"- Spawns a 5X5' marble tile covered in lube beneath the target's feet. (Slow-Speed)
*"Charactero Dangledoodius"- Spawns a random cartoon character originating from the 60's-90's above the target's head, keeping track with the target's movements. Said character proceeds to endlessly suffer from a lack of clothing and dysentery. (Mid-Speed)
*"WeeMan Shinkickums"- Spawns Jackass star Jason Acuña, known also as 'Wee Man'. He will continually attack the target for 10 seconds. (Slow-Speed)
*"Sucknutus Switcheroonio"- The target's spatial positioning is reversed, instantly turning them 180 degrees on a horizontal and/or vertical axis depending on Tom's preference. (Slow-Speed)
*"Pissedprick Swingdingus"- The target's dick will double in size every time the spell lands and become aggressive towards its owner, seeking to clobber nonstop the one it's attached to with all its strength. (Fast-Speed)
*"Gooberschnozz Leaksnoutius"- The target's nose will grow to five times normal size and continuously leak copious amounts of magically created mucous. (Mid-Speed)
*"Estatecrashio Housingmarketum"- The Target's local housing market crashes, depreciating their home significantly. Spawns a repo man five yards away to deliver the news and then leave. (Fast-Speed)
*"Natzeepoopzee Ipsyoopsy"- The target will sprout a Hitler mustache. (Fast-Speed)
*"Tunnelarium Inglourious"- Spawns a cave on a large enough surface from which the Bear Jew may emerge. (Mid-Speed)
*"Batsmackio Clobberknobbium"- Spawns the Bear Jew from Inglourious Basterds for 45 seconds, complete with baseball bat and dramatic entrance. (Fast-Speed)
*"Baldickus Bodilicious"- Instantly removes all the hair on your body. (Fast-Speed)
*"Fidgetnips Spindiculum"- Turns the target's nipples into fidget spinners. (Fast-Speed)
*"Gayroticus Weinerfestum"- Turns the victim gay. (Slow-Speed)
*"Fartilliarum Skidmarkius"- Gives the victim messy farts. (Mid-Speed)
*"Pinkwimpor Buttflamingonum"- Turns the victim's skin pink. (Fast-Speed)
*"Retardingus Shitheadellus"- Lowers the victim's I.Q by one point. (Mid-Speed)
*"Racistimo Hatefation"- Makes the victim extremely racist against minorities. (Fast-Speed)
*"Drunkskunkio Beerbellius"- Makes the victim as drunk as they'd be after having ingested two pints of beer. Each subsequent hit increases their inebriation by another two beers. (Mid-Speed)
*"Dirtlingus Shoutloudius"- Forces the victim to yell out their deepest, dirtiest secret and then proceed to do so again every two minutes. Each time Tom hits a victim with this curse, it halves the time that they can go without shouting. (Fast-Speed)
*"Whiteytightus Fucknuttums"- Makes the victim's underwear ultra-tight and uncomfortable. Each hit by the curse makes the ol' drawers get tighter and tighter until the waistband snaps. (Fast-Speed)
*"Beardantili Hipsterium"- Gives the victim a huge beard. Each hit increases the beard length by 18 inches. (Fast-Speed)
*"Nudesweeta Bareassum"- Evaporates the target's clothing into an embarrasing gooey honey mist. (Mid-Speed)
*"Furrynekus Fucknuttus"- Materializes a random fursuit onto the victim. (Mid-Speed)
*"Pisswiggums Bladdersmallis"- Makes the victim have to pee really bad. (Mid-Speed)
*"Horndoggums Humprumpus"- Makes the victim insanely attracted to the next thing Kentucky Tom points at. It takes tremenous will to resist, and becomes a major distraction until the urge is "satisfied". (Slow-Speed)
*"Nipgantius Bigtittumus"- The victim's boob area will grow to five times normal size. (Slow-Speed)
*"Fatassium Bastardus"- Makes the victim obese. (Slow-Speed)
*"Lolhardickus"- Forces the victim into an awkward situation the likes of which occur most often to us in the morning. If used on a female, it will materialize the required assets upon her being. (Fast-Speed)
*"Pussysobbium Crybabius"- Makes the victim cry uncontrollably. (Mid-Speed)
*"Racechangium Laughardiculum"- Changes the victim's race. By changing the first word to "Sexchangium" Tom can alter gender instead. (Slow-Speed)
*"Narratium Expositorium"- Forces the victim to narrate their actions as they do them in a deep, dramatic voice. They cannot complete their attack until the end of the narration. (Slow-Speed)
*"Smurftardicus Squeakerotica"- Gives the victim a high pitched helium voice, a Smurf hat, and Roblox T-shirt. (Fast-Speed)
*"Butthorkus Limporkus"- The victim becomes a transgender drag queen complete with unwieldy high heels and wig. (Slow-Speed)
*"Hamhockio Pigittums"- Gives the victim the ears, tail, and snout of a pig. (Mid-Speed)
*"Blindorial Nerdwerdus"- Makes the victim near and short sighted, and materializes a pair of prescription glasses onto their face. (Mid-Speed)
*"Pizzamugums Pubertum"- Gives the victim a load of acne. (Fast-Speed)
*"Glasswhackius Buttmunchickus"- Makes the victim instantly punch the nearest person with glasses in the face nice and hard, even if it's their self. (Mid-Speed)
*"Dildus Rubberium"- Turns an enemy's weapon into a twelve inch black dildo. (Slow-Speed)
*"Beachbaggo Burnsacko"- Instantly gives the victim a full body sunburn, the kind that hurts like a bitch if you so much as get in the shower. (Slow-Speed)
*"Foolookius Overthereius"- Makes the victim look where Tom is pointing. (Slow-Speed)
*"Itchums MacGuiness"- Gives the victim several dozen full body mosquito bites. Very itchy. (Slow-Speed)
Background: Kentucky Tom grew up in the rough part of town and was constantly harangued by bullies. Why? He had a smart mouth. Shooting off insults came naturally to Tom. He pissed off teachers, parents, drivers, senators, dogs, you name it. He got into a wide variety of scuffles, made a name for himself as both a sharp talker and a rugged back alley brawler. He never had much cash, since his job as an auctioneer didn't pay all that well. But then one day, everything changed. He met an old fakir who beseeched Tom to sell an old Porsche for enough money to bail his deviant grandson out of jail. Tom felt pity for the mystic and at the next auction, sold the vehicle for twice what it was really worth. Out of gratitude the fakir bestowed upon Kentucky Tom the power to incur hilarious status effects upon the unwary.
Tom has since set out to seek his fortune, and nothing will stand between him and a quick buck.
Theme Music:
Age: 32
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 180 pounds
Race: Human
Class: Jerkwad
Alignment: Chaotic
Eye Color: Unknown
Weapons and Equipment: Ray-Ban sunglasses, unfiltered Wildhorse cigarettes, white suit with black tie, a black 16 ounce/24-inch aluminum softball bat, Zippo.
Physical Abilities/Skills: Kentucky Tom is a hardass dickweed who used to be the fastest talkin' auctioneer in black market history. He has only one special ability, a swiss army knife of humiliation. His power is known as "Southern Fried Affectations". He can inflict nasty effects upon enemies by speaking the magic words of a curse and then pointing and firing a golf ball to medicine ball sized orb of arcane energy. The speed and color of the shot depend of the nastiness of the curse. Such curses as "Horndoggums Humprumpus" travel at the speed of ML fastballs, whilst curses like "Pinkwimpor Buttflamingonum" move as fast as bullets.
Those in the middle are as fast as arrows. He can slow down spells as much as he wants and return them to full speed at will after firing them, as much as he likes. He can combine multiple curses into a single attack, the arcane orb increasing approximately in size with each spell added. He can speak at 750 words per minute, more than twice as quick as a top form auctioneer or high school debater. He cannot use the same curse twice in a row, a handicap offset by how the spells cannot be stopped, redirected, or impeded by anyone but Tom. He has no need for a wand, but may use his Arkansas Toothpick or baseball bat as such if desired. With his bat he can club a spell as if it were a baseball to increase its speed by up to 110 MPH (full strength swing). At the moment they're launched spells retain perfect magical accuracy towards whatever Tom will swing at, though they can't change trajectory once launched. The Arkansas Toothpick retains a memory of each spell channeled through it in the blade, compiling the essence of each effect for release with a nick of the blade, one at a time or altogether as Tom sees fit. The only way to break these curses is to kill him. The known curses he uses are...
*"Impreggio Bitchpleasum"- Impregnates whomever he is pointing at, forcing a baby to be conceived within them. This works on men and inanimate objects. Each subsequent hit halves the pregnancy time, starting at one week pregnant. The baby is ready by week forty. (Mid-Speed)
*"Slipsoapia Faceplantium"- Spawns a 5X5' marble tile covered in lube beneath the target's feet. (Slow-Speed)
*"Charactero Dangledoodius"- Spawns a random cartoon character originating from the 60's-90's above the target's head, keeping track with the target's movements. Said character proceeds to endlessly suffer from a lack of clothing and dysentery. (Mid-Speed)
*"WeeMan Shinkickums"- Spawns Jackass star Jason Acuña, known also as 'Wee Man'. He will continually attack the target for 10 seconds. (Slow-Speed)
*"Sucknutus Switcheroonio"- The target's spatial positioning is reversed, instantly turning them 180 degrees on a horizontal and/or vertical axis depending on Tom's preference. (Slow-Speed)
*"Pissedprick Swingdingus"- The target's dick will double in size every time the spell lands and become aggressive towards its owner, seeking to clobber nonstop the one it's attached to with all its strength. (Fast-Speed)
*"Gooberschnozz Leaksnoutius"- The target's nose will grow to five times normal size and continuously leak copious amounts of magically created mucous. (Mid-Speed)
*"Estatecrashio Housingmarketum"- The Target's local housing market crashes, depreciating their home significantly. Spawns a repo man five yards away to deliver the news and then leave. (Fast-Speed)
*"Natzeepoopzee Ipsyoopsy"- The target will sprout a Hitler mustache. (Fast-Speed)
*"Tunnelarium Inglourious"- Spawns a cave on a large enough surface from which the Bear Jew may emerge. (Mid-Speed)
*"Batsmackio Clobberknobbium"- Spawns the Bear Jew from Inglourious Basterds for 45 seconds, complete with baseball bat and dramatic entrance. (Fast-Speed)
*"Baldickus Bodilicious"- Instantly removes all the hair on your body. (Fast-Speed)
*"Fidgetnips Spindiculum"- Turns the target's nipples into fidget spinners. (Fast-Speed)
*"Gayroticus Weinerfestum"- Turns the victim gay. (Slow-Speed)
*"Fartilliarum Skidmarkius"- Gives the victim messy farts. (Mid-Speed)
*"Pinkwimpor Buttflamingonum"- Turns the victim's skin pink. (Fast-Speed)
*"Retardingus Shitheadellus"- Lowers the victim's I.Q by one point. (Mid-Speed)
*"Racistimo Hatefation"- Makes the victim extremely racist against minorities. (Fast-Speed)
*"Drunkskunkio Beerbellius"- Makes the victim as drunk as they'd be after having ingested two pints of beer. Each subsequent hit increases their inebriation by another two beers. (Mid-Speed)
*"Dirtlingus Shoutloudius"- Forces the victim to yell out their deepest, dirtiest secret and then proceed to do so again every two minutes. Each time Tom hits a victim with this curse, it halves the time that they can go without shouting. (Fast-Speed)
*"Whiteytightus Fucknuttums"- Makes the victim's underwear ultra-tight and uncomfortable. Each hit by the curse makes the ol' drawers get tighter and tighter until the waistband snaps. (Fast-Speed)
*"Beardantili Hipsterium"- Gives the victim a huge beard. Each hit increases the beard length by 18 inches. (Fast-Speed)
*"Nudesweeta Bareassum"- Evaporates the target's clothing into an embarrasing gooey honey mist. (Mid-Speed)
*"Furrynekus Fucknuttus"- Materializes a random fursuit onto the victim. (Mid-Speed)
*"Pisswiggums Bladdersmallis"- Makes the victim have to pee really bad. (Mid-Speed)
*"Horndoggums Humprumpus"- Makes the victim insanely attracted to the next thing Kentucky Tom points at. It takes tremenous will to resist, and becomes a major distraction until the urge is "satisfied". (Slow-Speed)
*"Nipgantius Bigtittumus"- The victim's boob area will grow to five times normal size. (Slow-Speed)
*"Fatassium Bastardus"- Makes the victim obese. (Slow-Speed)
*"Lolhardickus"- Forces the victim into an awkward situation the likes of which occur most often to us in the morning. If used on a female, it will materialize the required assets upon her being. (Fast-Speed)
*"Pussysobbium Crybabius"- Makes the victim cry uncontrollably. (Mid-Speed)
*"Racechangium Laughardiculum"- Changes the victim's race. By changing the first word to "Sexchangium" Tom can alter gender instead. (Slow-Speed)
*"Narratium Expositorium"- Forces the victim to narrate their actions as they do them in a deep, dramatic voice. They cannot complete their attack until the end of the narration. (Slow-Speed)
*"Smurftardicus Squeakerotica"- Gives the victim a high pitched helium voice, a Smurf hat, and Roblox T-shirt. (Fast-Speed)
*"Butthorkus Limporkus"- The victim becomes a transgender drag queen complete with unwieldy high heels and wig. (Slow-Speed)
*"Hamhockio Pigittums"- Gives the victim the ears, tail, and snout of a pig. (Mid-Speed)
*"Blindorial Nerdwerdus"- Makes the victim near and short sighted, and materializes a pair of prescription glasses onto their face. (Mid-Speed)
*"Pizzamugums Pubertum"- Gives the victim a load of acne. (Fast-Speed)
*"Glasswhackius Buttmunchickus"- Makes the victim instantly punch the nearest person with glasses in the face nice and hard, even if it's their self. (Mid-Speed)
*"Dildus Rubberium"- Turns an enemy's weapon into a twelve inch black dildo. (Slow-Speed)
*"Beachbaggo Burnsacko"- Instantly gives the victim a full body sunburn, the kind that hurts like a bitch if you so much as get in the shower. (Slow-Speed)
*"Foolookius Overthereius"- Makes the victim look where Tom is pointing. (Slow-Speed)
*"Itchums MacGuiness"- Gives the victim several dozen full body mosquito bites. Very itchy. (Slow-Speed)
Background: Kentucky Tom grew up in the rough part of town and was constantly harangued by bullies. Why? He had a smart mouth. Shooting off insults came naturally to Tom. He pissed off teachers, parents, drivers, senators, dogs, you name it. He got into a wide variety of scuffles, made a name for himself as both a sharp talker and a rugged back alley brawler. He never had much cash, since his job as an auctioneer didn't pay all that well. But then one day, everything changed. He met an old fakir who beseeched Tom to sell an old Porsche for enough money to bail his deviant grandson out of jail. Tom felt pity for the mystic and at the next auction, sold the vehicle for twice what it was really worth. Out of gratitude the fakir bestowed upon Kentucky Tom the power to incur hilarious status effects upon the unwary.
Tom has since set out to seek his fortune, and nothing will stand between him and a quick buck.
Theme Music:
2x Laugh
OP
Doc Doctor The Fight Doctor
Member
Seen
4 days ago
Name: Catskull Maclung
Age: 33
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 246 pounds
Boxing Reach: 80.0 in
Race: Human
Dominant Hand: Left
Weapons and Equipment-
*A Damascus steel Dane sword with the following specifications-
Overall length: 58" (147 cm)
Blade length: 42" (106.7 cm)
Blade width at base: 1.4" (3.5 cm)
CoG: 4" (10.2 cm)
CoP: 24.5" (62.2 cm)
Weight: 4 lbs 10 oz (2.1 kg)
*A 16" X 16" five pound targe buckler strapped to his right forearm with five 5" spikes.
*A rope tied about his waist just below a leather belt.
*A stiletto with an eight inch blade in an oiled sheath strapped to the inside of his targe.
*A black steel helm fitted firmly to his head.
*Steel plating inside the knuckles of his leather gloves, inside his boots, and over his knees.
*Beneath his robes is a full layer of steel scale armor with another layer of pleated leather beneath. His full armor kit weighs in at a total of 24 pounds.
Appearance- Catskull is a large, pale-skinned man with rugged, imposing angular facial features and a black bowl cut framing dull yellow eyes. He's of a powerful, sturdy, and lithe build.
Personality- Sometimes good guys don't wear white. Catskull is not a nice man, nor a reasonable man, nor a sane man. He prides himself on being a cultured and educated with nerves of steel. He values class and social standing, is well-spoken, and stays far, far away from those he deems to be 'peasants'. He comes off as cold-hearted, and that's because he is. He generally sticks to what's legal and doesn't antagonize those who stay out of his way, and if he sees someone in need of help, he'll help them if he likes them. On the flipside, he has no mercy for those who cross him.
Catskull has a dark sense of humor, and he's fond of making light (or dark) of any situation no matter how grim or whimsical. He seems to suffer from an inability to take anything seriously except petty grievances, which inexplicably drive him up a wall, especially when 'peasants' touch him. He's immensely selfish, and never shares unless it's a matter of life or death, or loss of limb. He will frequently perform random, inconsequential actions for no good reason, purely on a whim, but remains dedicated to the purpose of restoring his family's name and wealth.
Background- There existed a clan of nobles known as the Maclungs, lead by the evil sorcerer Malimore Maclung. Malimore, unbeknownst to his clan, had been slowly siphoning the life from his own kin to extend his own. When a Maclung's life force inevitably dwindled, they'd "run out of luck", dooming them and their bloodline to a life of fatal misfortune. Every Maclung, cruel in their own right due to their lack of a spirit and conscience, died before the age of thirty. There have only ever been two exceptions. The dark wizard Suliss Maclung, the chosen pupil and future successor to Malimore, and Catskull Maclung who was spared his soul. He was the only one Malimore allowed to remain whole due to the old sorcerer's need for a competent bodyguard, unplagued by bad luck and a short life expectancy.
Malimore had Catskull trained in the ancient arts of man and beast slaying, and had the many of the most fearsome warriors in the world teach him the ways of combat. He mastered the versatile Dane sword in conjunction with a targe, his already diabolical strength amplified by the weight of the targe to such an extend that he can halfway separate a man from collar to pelvis with a horse cut. He's a master swordsman and a formidable athlete, able to dart in and out of combat and seamlessly flow between stances and guards, a mobile threshing machine. He learned to use his blade as well as his body, and his body as well as his blade.
Uncommon for his time, he stretches every day as a part of his training and has the flexibility of a martial artist.
Catskull could have grown into a truly decent fellow if his uncle hadn't been so vile. Good or bad, he was intent on being his own man, not the lackey of an old monster, and soon he ditched Malimore and fled to new lands, seeking to establish his own house of nobility and recreate the Maclung bloodline properly. Once he has resurrected the House Maclung, he has sworn to slay his wicked uncle and brother and end the bloodline curse of the Maclungs for good.
Until then, he wanders, seeking fortune, fame, and worthy adversaries with whom he may hone his skills.
Theme-
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Doc Doctor The Fight Doctor
Member
Seen
4 days ago
A swordsman that has a tough time staying dead.
Name: Auz von Kilinger
Epithet: Sir Auz the Undying
Age: 462, but only about a youthful 28 in appearance.
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 165 pounds
Race: Human, Semi-Immortal
Dominant Hand: Right
Weapons and Equipment-
*120 centimeter, magically indestructible straight sword known as the Mord Sword, a unique weapon with a razor sharp pommel and extra width and weight at the base of the blade.
(The Mord Sword)
*Two steel knives, a stiletto with a 7" blade and a gauche dagger with a 12" blade.
Appearance- Auz is slender but sturdy man, with a rogue-ish complexion, mischievous sky blue eyes, rotten teeth, and wild black hair. He has cruel eyebrows and usually wears a fittingly leonine expression, that of a man ready to fight to the death for shits and giggles. Over his heart is a black tattoo of an ouroboros.
Abilities/Skills- Auz is an aggressive, calculating swordsman who employs techniques from the German School of Fencing, as well as irregular moves of his own design. He's highly versatile and creative with his long sword, able to use it in just about any way that can be imagined. Additionally he's skilled with his two knives and at using his buckler as a weapon, and has no qualms about utilising any part of his body to fight.
Physically, he's got a heavy lean towards speed over strength. He's frightfully fast, a sort of Bruce Lee among fencers, so to speak. Naturally it's not possible to swing your sword as wantonly as your fist, but regardless most warriors that encounter Auz for the first time are utterly taken aback by his diabolical swiftness, unforgiving reflexes, and vicious intellect. With a dagger in hand, he can swipe so quickly that an untrained opponent wouldn't even register the blade passing before their face until they felt the blood running down their chin.
He can sprint at 21 MPH, throw a punch at 47 MPH, and at full swing the last five inches of his sword can reach speeds in excess of 115 MPH. His reaction speed and reflexes rival those of the world's best grandmaster fencers and kendo experts.
Auz is unable to physically age past 28, and has a total of nine lives to expend against any single opponent, hence his epithet. He's considered dead when either his heart stops beating or his brain permanently ceases function. He can choose to resurrect no more than thirty feet from where he died, and no closer than ten feet from the one who killed him unless they take up an area larger than twenty feet. He stall for up to 9 seconds before respawning, his corpse quickly fading into a crimson glow that vanishes and then reappears, instantly forming into his fresh (and fully equipped) body, weapons sheathed. He is capable of reforming even from nonexistance, thus even a conceptual attack on his very soul will still only take one life from him, and as a result he will respawn moments later. Every time Auz dies to an entity separate from himself, he becomes 25% faster than he was in his previous body for a period of twenty-four hours. His body does indeed become tougher and stronger in order to withstand the greater speeds, his thought processes improve so he can react at his current speed, and yes, Auz can commit suicide and return to life, but it won't benefit him in the same way as getting slain by an enemy. Auz can kill himself and respawn using his nine lives every twenty-four hours, but he won't gain any speed from it, rather, it becomes a way for him to heal himself. When he uses his lives for suicide, it won't decrease how many lives he has against an opponent, thus, it is more efficient to call them 'suicide lives', independent from his 'battle lives'. Obviously his tolerance for pain is more or less redundant, as could be expected from someone who has spent hundreds of years dying horribly.
In addition to his semi-immortality, Auz wields a number of magical powers. When he finishes charging a power, he can hold onto it for up to two minutes and charge other spells to store. After those two minutes have passed the magic dissipates.
*Regeneration- Auz can heal minor flesh wounds in mere seconds, and completely mend broken bones, ruptured organs, and torn muscles in around a minute. He cannot recover new limbs if one gets chopped off.
*Blood Channel- Whenever Auz spills the blood of an opponent, their blood will instantly revert into intangible streamers of magic as it leaves their body, traveling towards Auz at 400 fps. If the blood reaches Auz, the mass of the blood lost by the opponent will be turned into needed tissues and fluids where Auz needs it most, determined by the severity of his wounds.
*Hasty Heal- Auz can concentrate his magical power within himself to increase the potency of his regeneration. He needs five seconds to gather the magic required to double his healing rate for one minute, and ten seconds to triple it. Auz cannot pause his magic charging, and when he reaches ten seconds of magical accumulation, must use it or lose it. It's impossible for him to hold onto that much magic at once. Furthermore, he can't charge multiple spells at once, and must know which one he wishes to use before he begins charging. Whenever he's charging up Hasty Heal, faintly visible tendrils of red mana rise from his body.
*Undying- By gathering magic for one to ten seconds, Auz can then activate this power, manifesting as an aura of coiling whisps of luminous yellow steam. Depending on how long he's charged, say for five seconds, he can then use Undying, which for the next five seconds will prevent him from losing any lives if he dies. That is to say, he can charge Undying for ten seconds and then throw himself into battle without worry of expending lives for ten seconds. Yes, if an opponent kills him while Undying is active, Auz will still gain a 25% increase in speed over his last life. It's a real bitch of a power. After using Undying, Auz cannot charge any mana for half the time he had used Undying due to it's residual black magic disrupting his control. Ten seconds of charging, ten seconds of immortality, five seconds without mana control.
*Mana Traction- Eventually when you become fast enough, your steps sink into the ground or propel you into the air. Very inconvenient. With Mana Traction, Auz can move at virtually any speed without losing his footing, magic continually concentrated in his feet allowing him to both stick to the ground when he needs to, and at the same time killing any excess kinetic energy that would damage the ground and disrupt his motion. The power of Mana Traction depends on how fast he currently is. An Olympic sprinter can unleash around 300 joules per stride when moving at 25 miles per hour. Were Auz that fast, it'd take a little more force than that for an enemy to move him when at rest.
*Mana Bolster- A passive magical ability that increases the durability of Auz's clothing and equipment as his physical capabilities increase. You know, so his shit doesn't get torn apart when he lands a punch faster than sound. The durability of his armor matches the peak force of his sword swing. His weapon durability is 25% greater.
*Last Life- When on his last life, Auz can use mana traction to walk and run through the air, and can grab the air itself to hang suspended, or shove himself with his hands. His charge time for all spells save for Last Life spells are halved. He gains the ability to access the spell "Revenant", which when charged for ten seconds will restore one of his lives. He must be within thirty feet of the place he last died to charge this spell. Lastly, Auz can channel magic through his blades with "Grosse Edge". After five seconds his weapon(s) will achieve an enchanted, molecular cutting edge for one second.
Personality- Auz is cutting and sardonic, his dark wit (the man enjoys his one-liners) born from pessimism. He cares not for status or friendship, being a solitary soul in search of nothing but that which gives his life meaning; war. He doesn't like alcohol or other substances, and only enjoys the company of women after a battle. His solemn, irreverent mentality isolates him, but he's not necessarily a "bad guy". He fights for the underdogs when he can, and doesn't partake or suffer the killing of the helpless. That being said, he doesn't care for hostages. Should an opponent try to use another life as a bargaining chip, Auz would just as soon tell his adversary to go ahead and see how much worse of a death they'll get.
Background- Auz was born in the age of Germanic kings, a paladin trained from a young age whose lineage was thrown into obscurity. From the moment he could walk he was trained by royal paladins to become a holy warrior, versed in healing magic. War was his love, bloodshed his life. He killed his first opponent at seventeen. He was knighted at 20. A year later he left to seek his own path.
When he was 22, he encountered a Swiss witch that promised him a form of immortality in exchange for his eternal soul. He agreed, and she bestowed a tattoo of power upon him, that of an ouroboros, the serpent that endlessly eats its own tail. That power became a part of Auz, regardless of whether or not the tattoo remained on his being. It took only a quick look in the mirror for Auz to realize he was no longer a holy warrior. The black magic had given him the eyes of a cat and just as many lives. Fittingly, he from then on declared himself a Curse Paladin. What had gone through Auz's head to make him accept the bargain? Simple. He made up his mind that when he died, as all things inevitably do, he'd lay down the hurt on every single infernal entity that stood between him and the soul he'd sold, laying low demons and devils until he got it back. Not a likely outcome, but who can question the will of a resolute warrior until it's put to the ultimate test?
He spent his adulthood mastering his trade, devoting himself to the way of the sword as he cut down foe after foe. Old Auz was a regular Musashi, and soon other fighters started seeking him out, desiring to make a name for themselves. The only names they got were those carved on their grave markers.
little else can be said of Auz. There were no dramatic affairs, no arch rivals nor emotional conflicts. He traveled, he fought, he did the hokey-pokey, and he absolutely, undeniably, died many, many times.
Theme Music-
Name: Auz von Kilinger
Epithet: Sir Auz the Undying
Age: 462, but only about a youthful 28 in appearance.
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 165 pounds
Race: Human, Semi-Immortal
Dominant Hand: Right
Weapons and Equipment-
*120 centimeter, magically indestructible straight sword known as the Mord Sword, a unique weapon with a razor sharp pommel and extra width and weight at the base of the blade.
(The Mord Sword)
*Two steel knives, a stiletto with a 7" blade and a gauche dagger with a 12" blade.
Appearance- Auz is slender but sturdy man, with a rogue-ish complexion, mischievous sky blue eyes, rotten teeth, and wild black hair. He has cruel eyebrows and usually wears a fittingly leonine expression, that of a man ready to fight to the death for shits and giggles. Over his heart is a black tattoo of an ouroboros.
Abilities/Skills- Auz is an aggressive, calculating swordsman who employs techniques from the German School of Fencing, as well as irregular moves of his own design. He's highly versatile and creative with his long sword, able to use it in just about any way that can be imagined. Additionally he's skilled with his two knives and at using his buckler as a weapon, and has no qualms about utilising any part of his body to fight.
Physically, he's got a heavy lean towards speed over strength. He's frightfully fast, a sort of Bruce Lee among fencers, so to speak. Naturally it's not possible to swing your sword as wantonly as your fist, but regardless most warriors that encounter Auz for the first time are utterly taken aback by his diabolical swiftness, unforgiving reflexes, and vicious intellect. With a dagger in hand, he can swipe so quickly that an untrained opponent wouldn't even register the blade passing before their face until they felt the blood running down their chin.
He can sprint at 21 MPH, throw a punch at 47 MPH, and at full swing the last five inches of his sword can reach speeds in excess of 115 MPH. His reaction speed and reflexes rival those of the world's best grandmaster fencers and kendo experts.
Auz is unable to physically age past 28, and has a total of nine lives to expend against any single opponent, hence his epithet. He's considered dead when either his heart stops beating or his brain permanently ceases function. He can choose to resurrect no more than thirty feet from where he died, and no closer than ten feet from the one who killed him unless they take up an area larger than twenty feet. He stall for up to 9 seconds before respawning, his corpse quickly fading into a crimson glow that vanishes and then reappears, instantly forming into his fresh (and fully equipped) body, weapons sheathed. He is capable of reforming even from nonexistance, thus even a conceptual attack on his very soul will still only take one life from him, and as a result he will respawn moments later. Every time Auz dies to an entity separate from himself, he becomes 25% faster than he was in his previous body for a period of twenty-four hours. His body does indeed become tougher and stronger in order to withstand the greater speeds, his thought processes improve so he can react at his current speed, and yes, Auz can commit suicide and return to life, but it won't benefit him in the same way as getting slain by an enemy. Auz can kill himself and respawn using his nine lives every twenty-four hours, but he won't gain any speed from it, rather, it becomes a way for him to heal himself. When he uses his lives for suicide, it won't decrease how many lives he has against an opponent, thus, it is more efficient to call them 'suicide lives', independent from his 'battle lives'. Obviously his tolerance for pain is more or less redundant, as could be expected from someone who has spent hundreds of years dying horribly.
In addition to his semi-immortality, Auz wields a number of magical powers. When he finishes charging a power, he can hold onto it for up to two minutes and charge other spells to store. After those two minutes have passed the magic dissipates.
*Regeneration- Auz can heal minor flesh wounds in mere seconds, and completely mend broken bones, ruptured organs, and torn muscles in around a minute. He cannot recover new limbs if one gets chopped off.
*Blood Channel- Whenever Auz spills the blood of an opponent, their blood will instantly revert into intangible streamers of magic as it leaves their body, traveling towards Auz at 400 fps. If the blood reaches Auz, the mass of the blood lost by the opponent will be turned into needed tissues and fluids where Auz needs it most, determined by the severity of his wounds.
*Hasty Heal- Auz can concentrate his magical power within himself to increase the potency of his regeneration. He needs five seconds to gather the magic required to double his healing rate for one minute, and ten seconds to triple it. Auz cannot pause his magic charging, and when he reaches ten seconds of magical accumulation, must use it or lose it. It's impossible for him to hold onto that much magic at once. Furthermore, he can't charge multiple spells at once, and must know which one he wishes to use before he begins charging. Whenever he's charging up Hasty Heal, faintly visible tendrils of red mana rise from his body.
*Undying- By gathering magic for one to ten seconds, Auz can then activate this power, manifesting as an aura of coiling whisps of luminous yellow steam. Depending on how long he's charged, say for five seconds, he can then use Undying, which for the next five seconds will prevent him from losing any lives if he dies. That is to say, he can charge Undying for ten seconds and then throw himself into battle without worry of expending lives for ten seconds. Yes, if an opponent kills him while Undying is active, Auz will still gain a 25% increase in speed over his last life. It's a real bitch of a power. After using Undying, Auz cannot charge any mana for half the time he had used Undying due to it's residual black magic disrupting his control. Ten seconds of charging, ten seconds of immortality, five seconds without mana control.
*Mana Traction- Eventually when you become fast enough, your steps sink into the ground or propel you into the air. Very inconvenient. With Mana Traction, Auz can move at virtually any speed without losing his footing, magic continually concentrated in his feet allowing him to both stick to the ground when he needs to, and at the same time killing any excess kinetic energy that would damage the ground and disrupt his motion. The power of Mana Traction depends on how fast he currently is. An Olympic sprinter can unleash around 300 joules per stride when moving at 25 miles per hour. Were Auz that fast, it'd take a little more force than that for an enemy to move him when at rest.
*Mana Bolster- A passive magical ability that increases the durability of Auz's clothing and equipment as his physical capabilities increase. You know, so his shit doesn't get torn apart when he lands a punch faster than sound. The durability of his armor matches the peak force of his sword swing. His weapon durability is 25% greater.
*Last Life- When on his last life, Auz can use mana traction to walk and run through the air, and can grab the air itself to hang suspended, or shove himself with his hands. His charge time for all spells save for Last Life spells are halved. He gains the ability to access the spell "Revenant", which when charged for ten seconds will restore one of his lives. He must be within thirty feet of the place he last died to charge this spell. Lastly, Auz can channel magic through his blades with "Grosse Edge". After five seconds his weapon(s) will achieve an enchanted, molecular cutting edge for one second.
Personality- Auz is cutting and sardonic, his dark wit (the man enjoys his one-liners) born from pessimism. He cares not for status or friendship, being a solitary soul in search of nothing but that which gives his life meaning; war. He doesn't like alcohol or other substances, and only enjoys the company of women after a battle. His solemn, irreverent mentality isolates him, but he's not necessarily a "bad guy". He fights for the underdogs when he can, and doesn't partake or suffer the killing of the helpless. That being said, he doesn't care for hostages. Should an opponent try to use another life as a bargaining chip, Auz would just as soon tell his adversary to go ahead and see how much worse of a death they'll get.
Background- Auz was born in the age of Germanic kings, a paladin trained from a young age whose lineage was thrown into obscurity. From the moment he could walk he was trained by royal paladins to become a holy warrior, versed in healing magic. War was his love, bloodshed his life. He killed his first opponent at seventeen. He was knighted at 20. A year later he left to seek his own path.
When he was 22, he encountered a Swiss witch that promised him a form of immortality in exchange for his eternal soul. He agreed, and she bestowed a tattoo of power upon him, that of an ouroboros, the serpent that endlessly eats its own tail. That power became a part of Auz, regardless of whether or not the tattoo remained on his being. It took only a quick look in the mirror for Auz to realize he was no longer a holy warrior. The black magic had given him the eyes of a cat and just as many lives. Fittingly, he from then on declared himself a Curse Paladin. What had gone through Auz's head to make him accept the bargain? Simple. He made up his mind that when he died, as all things inevitably do, he'd lay down the hurt on every single infernal entity that stood between him and the soul he'd sold, laying low demons and devils until he got it back. Not a likely outcome, but who can question the will of a resolute warrior until it's put to the ultimate test?
He spent his adulthood mastering his trade, devoting himself to the way of the sword as he cut down foe after foe. Old Auz was a regular Musashi, and soon other fighters started seeking him out, desiring to make a name for themselves. The only names they got were those carved on their grave markers.
little else can be said of Auz. There were no dramatic affairs, no arch rivals nor emotional conflicts. He traveled, he fought, he did the hokey-pokey, and he absolutely, undeniably, died many, many times.
Theme Music-
OP
Doc Doctor The Fight Doctor
Member
Seen
4 days ago
Name: Bloodbath
Race: Kallikantzaros
Gender: Male
Height: 5'4"
Weight: 280 lbs
Boxing reach: 70"
Appearance: Like most Kallikantzaroi, Bloodbath is a short, muscular, and squat goblin-like creature. He has the black-furred legs of a satyr, two slits for a nose, pointy ears, black talons, and 18" horns like those of an aurochs, alongside tough pale green skin riddled with scars, abrasions, and discolorations. His forearms, neck, and waist are particularly thick with muscle, though he has little body fat. His eyes are as red as burning coals and he has a mouthful of jagged, protruding fangs. He wears no clothing aside from a black leather thong held together by iron rivets and a tattered black cloak with a hood. A 25 pound, eight foot length of iron chain is wrapped around each forearm and he totes around a huge sledge-axe as a primary weapon. He never cleans himself if he can help it and is typically drenched in blood, be it dried or fresh. (I'll post a picture eventually)
Personality: Bloodbath is a monster to the core who exists for the sole purpose of mass murder. He has only a rudimentary intellect, more akin to that of an animal than a rational being. He can use basic tools and can speak a handful of one-syllable words, and as is true of the legend, is incapable of counting past the number two. He can be distracted for long periods of time by any mundane obstacles that can't be overcome with brute force, and may also be easily escaped from by hiding, as Bloodbath's attention span doesn't extend past his line of sight. In battle he boasts a kind of wild cunning, an instinctual sense for harm, and can throw out an array of improvised attacks based upon the situation, thus underestimating his intelligence in a fight usually backfires. His stupidity is, after all, only matched by his capacity for violence.
While most Kallikantzaroi are just mischievous during the holiday season and lackluster at their purpose of destroying the world, Bloodbath is an exception, to the point of being considered an aberration or a freak of nature. After countless millennia of hacking away at the the roots of the World Tree, he's gone off the beaten path and now hunts for other living things to chop apart. He has no 'off' switch. He does not sleep, nor does he need or desire rest or companionship. He enjoys but a few things, all of them obscene and without regard, such as eating the flesh of his victims, listening to their screams, and living up to his name by literally bathing in their blood and rolling in their spilt viscera.
When approached or spoken to, Bloodbath will respond one of two ways. He can understand speech to a degree and may be reasoned with, or better, lied to if his interests are peaked. If he loses interest in what's being said, he will resort to murder. As his only interest is killing, this would mean one should have ready an offer to help him find a way to destroy more living creatures than he already has access to, or otherwise avoid confrontation entirely. If one can convince Bloodbath to cooperate with this sort of leverage, he may be inclined to exercise patience and can even show a startling level of self control. In this way he may be lead through populated areas without incident, coerced into odd jobs, and even made to obey the will of others. That being said, he will forever remember populated areas he has seen as well as the promises made to him. If he ever feels betrayed or has no further inclination to obey, he may very well hold a grudge and will even return to places once visited to massacre residents without pity, making Bloodbath a double-edged sword to reason with.
He tends to zone out when distracted and may be placed into a kind of trance, much like a hypnotized chicken, by anything that completely baffles him. This does not work when he can smell blood, as his concentration then narrows to a laser-like focus and his will becomes entirely bent towards eliminating all that he can see in a manner most unsuitable for polite conversation, a shark in a feeding frenzy.
As is true of his race, Bloodbath simply can't stand sunlight. It doesn't harm him but renders him utterly blind and creates extreme physical discomfort. Regardless of his wrath or reason, when the sun comes out he will abandon all other initiatives in favor of finding shade. If there's no shade he'll react the way he always does when in great pain. He'll lash out at anything nearby that lives and breathes with a blind aggression even more ferocious than his usual demeanour, heedless of personal risk. He becomes unfocused but also far more unpredictable.
Abilities: Many a hero or adventurer has encountered Bloodbath, just to dismiss him as a common goblin or minion creature due to his small body and simple mind. Such a careless observation has spelled doom for many.
He weighs far more than he appears to due to the immense amount of compacted muscle mass gained from chopping ceaselessly at the roots of the World Tree for thousands of years. Though he seems like he should be no heftier than 10 stone, his density actually puts him over 20, or about 280 pounds. Bloodbath's axe, if anything, is pure excess. He can crush mortals with the strength of his body alone, but when he has his axe the carnage reaches unimagined extremes.
His strength and toughness is ten times that of the strongest recorded humans and he swings around his massive, blood-rusted iron sledge-axe as few others can. The 30 inch long axehead weighs sixty pounds, with a large split notch in the middle of the 16 inch blade. The butt of the axehead is large and squared like a sledgehammer. The shaft is as long as Bloodbath is tall, as is the shaft for every deadly tool the Kallikantzaroi traditionally use to assault the World Tree, and comes complete with several large langets for a better grip and to prevent enemy blades from damaging his digits. The shaft is made from the wood of the World Tree itself and is durable enough to withstand cannonfire.
At full swing the axe can simulate mortal traffic accidents, sending sundered bodies skidding across the ground on a sled of guts, brains, and mangled limbs.
Bloodbath can whirl into a mutilating dervish or smash stone with ease, and though one may think this is to the detriment of his mobility, he can charge with the speed and ferocity of a true-to-life bull even while laden with his heavy equipment and has effectively limitless stamina. His skull and horns are dangerous as well, and with them he can effortlessly smash, impale, and toss full grown men into trees like broken Christmas ornaments.
A kick or stomp to the vitals from his cloven hooves can kill a man at one blow. He has excellent night vision but the rest of his senses are poor.
History: There's very little to be said about his past. He spent countless ages chopping at the World Tree's roots in darkness, but once he'd hacked up his first mortal during one of his few outings to the surface world, he became addicted. It was far more satisfying to the goblin to use his axe on people than on a tree.
Now he simply travels and kills at will. Bloodbath is more a cruel force of nature than any kind of defined military might. Theoretically a large group of armed men could be able to slay him, just like any other cornered, wild, supernatural beast, such as a troll or a dragon, but as Bloodbath travels alone and in silence until he sights his prey, and because he most often comes across isolated villages and homesteads, and because he always leaves before daybreak, there are few opportunities to organize proper retaliation. He leaves no survivors save those who remain well hidden, thus there are few indicators as to the cause of the strange, brutal massacres that strike at random townships throughout the country. The attacks are never in the same place, nor are there any warnings for when Bloodbath arrives shortly past the witching hour, drawn by the night-fires of civilization.
OP
Doc Doctor The Fight Doctor
Member
Seen
4 days ago
A very rude man with a very big axe.
Captain Arlgor Kull
Name: Arlgor Kull
Aliases: Cap'n Kull
Titles: Captain of the Crimson Guard
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Physical Attributes
Build: 5'7", 172 pounds, heavily muscled
Reach: 71.0 in (180 cm)
Eyes: Steely gray, overshadowed by sardonic eyebrows.
Hair: A black widow's peak, combed back
Skin Tone: Pale
Dominant Hand: Right
Tattoos/Scars/Piercings: Kull's eyes and mouth have distinct scarring from fistfights, permanent cauliflower ears, several white notches crisscross his chest and arms, presumably left by various bladed weapons. His right forearm is encircled by several deep tissue scars, from when he shoved his hand down a lion's esophagus.
Day To Day Attire: A full set of bronze armor (faceless helmet, pauldrons, breastplate, armguards, gauntlets, greaves, the works), a maroon cloak emblazoned with the insignia of a black bull, a fifty-one inch, seven pound double headed greataxe (each blade is a foot long and eight inches wide at the taper), a sabre with chili powder in the scabbard worn on his right flank, a pair of gauche daggers with seven inch blades at his waist, a pair strapped to his calves, and one on each flank. Six daggers in all. He's very fond of wearing crimson war paint, in tiger stripes across his face.
Overall length: 42" (106 cm)
Blade length: 35.25" (89.5 cm)
Blade width (at bell): 1.375"
CoB: 3.75" from Guard (9.53 cm)
CoP: 23" from Guard (58.4 cm)
Weight: 2.75 lbs (1.25 kilos)
*The last ten inches of the false edge are razor sharp, and the reinforced steel scabbard has a serrated blade at the end.
Abilities: Kull is a physical powerhouse, able to bench 500 and kick through cinderblock like styrofoam with his reinforced greaves. He once killed a lion with asphyxiation by ramming his fist down its throat. He has the reflexes and studied devotion to bodily mechanics of such peak, world champion boxers as Mohammed Ali, Floyd Mayweather, Rocky Marciano, and Andre Dirrell, with the striking power to match, along with nearly three decades of experience as a manslayer.
Personality: Kull is an abrasive, overwhelming, and incredibly intense man who has no concept of what an indoor voice is and no off-button. He's of a wild, brave nature, meeting every challenge in the only way he knows how; by beating it down with his axe and/or screaming profanity at it. He's quite creative in his lunatic insults, but it's rarely personal. It serves as a psychological aid and weapon for Kull, enabling him to work himself into a war frenzy while intimidating his opposition. As a professional warrior and captain of the guard (he was a former mercenary as well), he lives solely to hone his skills in combat, and to help mold an environment free of scum. He's drastically impatient and highly critical, despising any course of action short of stalking right up to the bad guy and strangling him.
Despite his faults, though, Kull is truly a good man at heart. Sometimes good guys don't wear white and act nice, after all. He strives to make the lives of innocent people better, and is more than willing to sacrifice himself to a noble cause. His loyalty is undying, for all his lack of social skills. He knows how to have a good time, and can be surprisingly understanding at times. He tends to be greedy, not much for sharing food nor glory, but he's always more than willing to share (profanity laced) encouragement and advice. When it comes to animals, he seems to have a soft spot. Kull gets along well with most creatures, until he kills and eats them for protein.
Habits: Kull tends to shudder, jerk or twitch with frenetic energy whenever he feels like he's about to get a chance to fight. He often tosses around loud, creative expletives, especially during combat.
Childhood: Kull went through the old Spartan glut, you know. Training as soon as he was of age, fighting wild animals bare-handed, killing men on a battlefield when he was a teen. Sure, there are some nice old stories of his feats and adventures, but he's not here to tell history. He's here to make it.
Adulthood: Served as a mercenary for several years, and then joined up with the Empire of the Crimson Throne. He helped them win a critical battle and was thus promoted to Captain. He'd conked a fuck-ton of baddies, got hitched with a woman as crazy as he was, you get the idea. He never had any silly dramatized moments, no whiny tears in the rain. He never even had any rivals, or a nemesis. Whenever an enemy jumped up, Kull simply knocked them back down. Needless to say, he's very good at his job.
Theme Song:
Dude. @Doc Doctor I'm going to draw out a character sheet for my RS character. W42 ftw.
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