Avatar of Benzaiten

Status

Recent Statuses

4 yrs ago
Woop! Shipden Peak RP has started. Can't freaking wait for this to unfold.
3 likes
4 yrs ago
The Witches of Shipden Peak RP is starting this week! I'm equally excited and nervous.
6 likes

Bio

💀 Welcome to this Hell Hole 💀
Also Known As
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Ben, Benji
(I'm a woman despite the odd name)


Age
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28 years


Birthday
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24 Feb


Country
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Germany


Languages
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English, German

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Roleplay Preferences
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I mostly enjoy writing in the Casual section of the guild. Character development and exploring character relationships motivate me. I like to really think myself into my character and their view on others and the world around them which is why I prefer to stick to one character per roleplay. I love world-building but I am also easily overwhelmed with very detailed concepts I haven't been met with before. So you could say I love a decent amount of world-building and prefer original builds. Once everyone has settled, expanding that world and its concept is a great way to create more depth and keep me as a player hooked as I love to discover new things!

My favorite genre is and has always been fantasy. I guess you could say I love escapism to a point where I like to flee the mundane world entirely. I also feel drawn to sci-fi roleplays but I have noticed that those usually intimidate me. I feel like I am not adept at writing about technology and all that sci-fi goodness so I mostly just pine over how awesome some OOCs look and never apply to them.

When it comes to fantasy I feel right at home. For my mind, it is much easier to grasp magical concepts and worlds than sci-fi ones. As a result of this, all the worlds I write up (be it here as a GM or elsewhere) tend to be fantastical in one way or another. I especially enjoy adventure RPs and witch RPs. I like to see new magical systems and am always eager to learn more about the worlds I RP in.

Additionally, all my characters are queer, always. Since I am queer myself and can't imagine playing straight ^^


Latest Roleplays
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Although the days of witch hunts are long past us, life isn't roses. While the upcoming election is threatening witches with a potential anti-witch politician claiming the title of president, unrest is stirring in the corners of the world. A rise in threats has been detected - unnatural beings, magical beasts, and other supernatural phenomena pull media attention and feed directly into an anti-witch campaign.

The Death Knight's Squire (GM)
A D&D One-Shot. A group of adventurers is hired to find the missing grandson of a wealthy couple visiting the town. He was taken by a mysterious knight who rode his horse into the deadly woods nearby, taking the young boy with him. But the knight is not a simple man, he is said to be a resurrected ghostly figure forever in search for a squire, kidnapping young boys who never return home.

Wandering Topside [1x1]
The Cult of the Dragon has come to Phlan, a lawless refuge on the Moonsea. Now, with no significant authority to stop the cult, other power groups in the Realms – the Harpers, Order of the Gauntlet, Lords' Alliance, and even the Zhentarim – must unite to stop the cult from fulfilling its dark purpose in the city. Meanwhile, Rhana, a drow rogue with a questionable past, and Salissa, a dhampir bard with flair, find themselves somehow involved in this as they tackle different missions aimed at stopping the cult.


Other Places of Interest
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This is just my character archive. I have recently reorganized it. I made a whole new thread for it, moved the CS I wanted to keep for memories sake over and am now less ashamed to have people stumble upon my creations.

How To Run A Multi-Arc RP (by BlueSky44 and Morose)
Some helpful tips on running and organizing your roleplay and what to do when your story is concluded. This should help you when running a multi-arc roleplay. You will also find some tips on setting up an Interest Check and OOC here.


Quirks
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I always write my IC posts in gray due to finding the white color pretty straining on the eyes.
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Most Recent Posts


"Oh hold up right there!" Lisa's words sparked newly lit anger and frustration within the physicist. Who was this new version of her lovely wife? Who stood before her and acted this way? "All those long hours without sleep for days on end. All those sleepless nights, struggling with the roadblocks we've struck." She repeated the words Lisa said back to her. "But not one of those nights you let me in? Not one of those long work days you sat down with me and told me what was going on in your mind? 'I've done these tests a number of times throughout the years.' But not once you thought to include me? Your wife?! Your partner on this project?!" Rhiannon shook her head at her wife, now with more force. She stepped back as she ran her hand through her hair and in the thoughtless process pulled down almost half of it. She pointed her hand at Lisa as she continued. "Can you imagine my shock?"

A laugh escaped her. It sounded almost hysterical, deprived of all joy but soaked in desperate emotions. "Oh I am very SORRY", she spat at her. "That your schedule of how long you wanted to keep me out of the loop didn't go according to plan."

Rhiannon threw her hands in the air and began to pace again. As Lisa suggested she might stay on the project, Rhiannon spun around to glare her down. Rhia was seldom this angry and she rarely ever raised her voice. She preferred to have civil conversations over senseless fights. This was unlike her. "I don't want you to try and stall anything and I certainly don't want you meddling with my job." The woman closed her eyes and let the darkness that came with it soothe her anger. She was trying her best to regain control over her own emotions. When she reopened her eyes, her face showed the scars of her pain. "I dislike the time and place you chose to have this conversation. I don't wanna engage further in it. I have enough emotions to deal with while facing the supervisors now. We will talk about this back home."

Rhiannon didn't wait for Lisa to give her an answer. She had said she wouldn't talk about this issue further in the current situation and she meant it. She pulled the car door open, got inside, and pulled it close with slight force. When her wife joined her in the vehicle her voice had lost some of its sharpness. "I don't know what you were thinking you were doing or why you would think keeping any secrets from me would benefit me or us down the line. But I love you and I need you to know that, even now. Especially now. I want to understand where you are coming from but you broke some trust and I don't agree with the actions you took without me. You could have made me your partner. You could have made us a team. But you chose not to. And I will need to digest that. Who we are as wives and the respect we pay each other wasn't what I thought it was. I will bring it back up once I had some time to clear my head and sort my thoughts. I'd ask you to respect that and refrain from continuing the conversation until then."

Rhiannon felt dumb. If anything of her feelings wasn't just a mix of anger, betrayal, sorrow, and pain, it was the feeling of being a fool. But she knew she didn't have to. No one would think her a fool. Least of all her own wife. Yet, she couldn't suppress the rising notion that for someone this brilliant she had been incredibly stupid.

"You went through our contract...", she whispered in disbelief as Lisa carried on with her words. Words that didn't make sense to Rhiannon. Her wife sounded nothing like her wife. All of this felt so foreign. Had she been dating someone who was overly paranoid for over a decade and not known? Had she not known Lisa?

But then the woman bit her lower lip like she always did when she was nervous and Rhiannon's heart dropped. Of course she knew her wife. And she knew her wife was desperate and scared. Rhiannon stepped closer to her with her hand reaching out to squeeze Lisa's arm. No matter what this was, they would work through it.

Her eyes widened as Lisa confessed about the phones. Excitement ran through her body before the betrayal of being left out could catch up. "It worked? It works?!" But more than these two words were not meant to be. Lisa continued to confess her sins while Rhiannon's emotions sank deeper and deeper. Not only had the device worked... but she had not been a part of that discovery. She had not even been involved. She hadn't known. This was a trust so deeply broken Rhiannon couldn't handle thinking down that path right this minute.

A line of thought went through her brain heavily. As if it was clawing at the sides of a tunnel it didn't want to go down. Running deep scars into the sides with every step it took forward. "5 years ... hoped they would free us". What was going on? "[...] convince them of the opposite of what we know". "W-Wait", Rhiannon stuttered. Her voice was small now, cracking. This conversation was draining her energy fast and burning through all kinds of emotions even faster. "You -" The words couldn't form on her tongue. They stuck to her throat. Bitter and thick. Like slime. "You sab-... You sabotaged our project?" Hot, acid tears were welling up Rhiannon's eyes as the idea of the thought burnt into her mind. "You sabotaged -" Me, she wanted to say but couldn't bring the word across her lips. This simple little word. It broke something within her. A lump stuck in her throat.

Omelets and kisses. She wished herself back to them. But no. Rhiannon never wished for less information. As much as it hurt, shutting your eyes from what was uncomfortable wasn't the way. She shook her head slowly, looking down as she attempted to keep her rising emotions at bay. The side of the street was not the place to have this conversation. But by god, she couldn't keep a straight posture for much longer.

Her wife, her partner in crime, the person she trusted most in the world had betrayed her, excluded her, endangered them both, and kept secrets. For a decade. She went through our contracts like some secret agent.

Rhiannon stared at her wife as she talked and with one word after the next threw daggers at her happiness. Piercing the mental bubble she had build around their lives. She listened silently with a sad expression creeping onto her face. She couldn't have done anything else. What was she supposed to say to all this?

As her wife finished her long monologue of destruction, Rhiannon turned away. She took a few steps, turned around, and took a few more. She began pacing for a moment. Maybe multiple minutes as her mind tried to wrap around the decay of her worldview. This felt like a wrong reality. Like a warped version of her life.

She finally turned back to her wife and looked straight at her. "I believe you." She nodded, more to convince herself than Lisa. The scientist stepped closer to the dark-haired woman in front of her. "I don't want to. But I will." She positioned herself next to Lisa, leaning against the car's front. "I don't really know what to say to this. But maybe I'll start with: What the heck, Lisa?! You come at me with all of this in the car?! And so close to the facility! Why haven't you told me this yesterday? Why haven't you told me this morning? You know what? What the heck! Why didn't you tell me a month ago? Or, I don't know, ten years ago." Rhiannon's expression began to change from sadness to something more. There was a deeper feeling underlying the anger that she felt on top of it. A painful pull in her heart. "I thought we were a team. And don't you dare bullshit me about 'protecting me'. You could have told me in college. You could have talked to me before we signed! After we signed. Any day, any year as we were working on the project. You could have told me when you decided to copy our work. Which, by the way, is a criminal offense according to our contracts! That you also haven't told me! You have been endangering yourself, me, our jobs, our project and you didn't think to tell me?" She pushed herself off the car and began to pace again. The feelings tumbling inside her were too hectic to keep standing still. Her mind was racing, trying to process all that was happening. Trying to put her reality together with the reality her wife seemed to have experienced. "I can't believe you've been operating behind my back. I never thought.... I never thought you had secrets from me."

As the anger lifted, the deep sorrow reappeared, visibly dancing across her expression and taking its bow. "That wasn't fair of you. This is not something you do alone. Not something you do behind your wife's back. And you don't spring such news onto me right before work, at the side of the road, ten minutes from entering that building." Her hand gestured vaguely towards the facility. "You could have picked a better time and place for this." The woman let out a big sigh and rubbed her fingers over her forehead. That headache was coming back again.

"That isn't to say I don't believe you. I am not happy but I do have a functioning mind, mind you." Rhiannon looked at her wife's expression. The woman who loved her most hadn't been honest with her. For over a decade. "What do you now propose we do? Wait for them to take all of our work? Then leave silently and - what? - live the rest of our lives selling marmalades?" She shook her head and put those fingers back to her forehead. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to snap. This is a lot. And frankly, we don't have the time to discuss this. We're being late. I guess it's better than telling me after we get fired."

Rhiannon pulled her hands over her face, dragged them down her eyes and lips and chin. "So why are you telling me now? What has changed? Are you proposing a plan of action?"

Train....replacements..? Rhiannon couldn't quite wrap her head around what her wife was saying. "No...", Rhiannon protested. "No. How..." She gasped at an inner thought and shook her head. "How can you just stand for that? That is our project. If they want to take it, we fight! That is our research and our hard work! Years! God damn it, years, Lisa!" She shook her head again.

"If you think I will sit back and let them take our invention and ... and ... degrade us to ... to work on something like a washed-off version of our work, a freaking travel portal, you must have forgotten who you're talking to."

Take their work... Rhiannon would not let that happen. And she would certainly not live a moment of her life creating something that is only a fraction of what they've done. She would not invent such a machine. No.

"What do you even mean, they're training people to replace us? We are not replaceable! No one does what we do. No one else knows what we know. They need us. They can train others to go through the portal, sure, yes. Granted. But they can't just toss us away. What if they want a second portal? What if something destabilizes the connecti0on? What if something breaks? Who are they gonna call? An intern?" She shook her head again. A strand of her hair loosened and fell out of its place. "Why are you coming to me with such conspiracy theories? Do you have evidence? Is there something you aren't telling me, Lisa?"

Now her body turned to face her wife. She wasn't one to lie to her. Rhiannon knew that. If Lisa thought something was up, then something was up. And just because her heart told her not to believe in it didn't mean it wasn't true. "I'm sorry. Tell me what is going on."

Rhiannon enjoyed car rides on empty streets. Especially if she didn't have to drive. It allowed her to let her brain wander and wonder. She could dig into the depths of her fantasies and creativity and just relax, her eyes focused on nothing in particular as she took in the beautiful sight. Their occupation had given them quite a bit of money and so naturally, the neighbourhood they choose to reside in was a beautiful concept of art. To Rhiannon at least.

When Lisa pulled her out of her thoughts, Rhiannon took a minute to really understand her words. "Complete? ... What do you mean, complete?" Her head turned away from the window and to her partner. "There is no 'complete', is there? Once we get the portal running, we are gonna explore its possibilities and limits. We are gonna be able to see into the past. We'll be gathering information on all sorts of events, on everyday life. It'll solve many mysteries. For the first time in forever, we might be able to shed some light to the dark ages. We might actually figure out who Jack the Ripper was. All sorts of things. It might rewrite history books. Do you understand the possibilities? It would help us understand our history a great deal more. How can we pass up on a chance like that?" Her eyes drifted back to the road. The building was getting closer.

"I guess... if you're thinking that maybe we get bored of our project and would want something more challenging after a while... or in a sort of thought experiment 'oh what would we do if...' hmm.... I guess we could start on something new. But... Lis, we've been working on this since college days. I am not planning on giving it up anytime soon. Not when we're making progress. This is our baby. It belongs to us. And I plan on working on it for a great deal longer." Rhiannon thought about it for a moment. "I guess it would make sense that someone would like to work on a simpler version of our portal for real-time travel across greater distances. It could be used to explore space more easily, to send resources through, et cetera. There are just so many possibilities this invention would open for humanity."

In a sense, the portal was Rhiannon's way to still incorporate a sense of archelogy into her theoretical physics. It wouldn't just be able to show them humanity's history. She hoped it would show them what came before them. If they just worked on it long enough, there was the chance they got closer to getting a look at the universe as it was created. Albeit their project also focusing on time travel in a sense of sending something or someone through, Rhiannon would already be more than happy with it providing a look into the past. After all, meddling with the past was a dangerous game. She wasn't entirely sure if she wanted that to happen. But at the same time, her curiosity and her passion for their project pushed her to try and see if it was possible. She needed to try. She wanted to know.

"I guess in a different reality I'd be an archeologist", she finally added. "Or maybe a journalist if we went away from science altogether." She braced herself for the next question and looked at her wife, waiting for her reaction. "Why are you asking this?"

Rhiannon took a big bite from her omelet as her wife rambled on about their portal. Passion rose within her. For the work they did and for the woman in front of her. She had seldom met a person who was just as interested in bending the existing physical rules of time and space as she was. Sure, many scientists enjoyed bantering about it a little. But rarely one was seriously considering attempting it. With their project being top-secret under the government's thumb, Rhiannon of course couldn't actively talk about her work with anyone except the people who worked with her. And the smartest of 'em all was sitting right in front of her.

"I am aware of the electromagnetic field. And we will run it for safety always. But I am not considering sending anything through yet. Let alone something alive. I am hoping we can stabilize the power intake enough to provide the portal with the right amount of energy to turn it on and hopefully interact with the blink drive as expected. Opening the portal for travel without a safe working connection to the blink drive would be mad. We would have no idea where and when we would land and we'd have no way back. If we get a stable enough connection, I might consider putting the first miniature drone through the portal. But I am not expecting the connection to hold and we can't send anything through that hasn't explicitly been authorized. And that means we'd have to sit in a room with stuffy air and thick-ass walls for hours on end with the government people and our boss again and explain every little step of our project. If we send something from this time through and it actually lands in the past... that could cause such ripple effects. But why am I talking about this? You know all that. We've run through millions of scenarios of what might happen - both amusing and terrifying - since we met in college." Rhiannon reached across the table to stroke over the back of Lisa's hand with her index fingers. "I am positive we are gonna see great progress within the next few months. I am so excited!"

As the alarm rang and the code flashed before her eyes, Rhiannon let out a growl-sigh sound. Not again. "Speaking of the devil... What do they want from us? Do they have to come in every month. I swear you lift a little finger to test the breeze and they ask you what you've eaten for breakfast the last three weeks, down to the molecular level." Rhiannon lifted herself off the chair and laid a hand on her forehead to rub it softly. Her headache was already getting a bit better but it hadn't faded yet. She found it impressive how Lisa was coping so well. The woman definitely had more to drink yesterday than Rhiannon. She just could handle more.

"I'll get dressed." She walked a step over to her wife, put a hand on her shoulder, and leaned down to kiss her. She lingered in the moment for a few seconds, allowing herself to enjoy the lips of the person she loved most in the whole world. Then she broke the kiss, gave Lisa a soft smile, and tiptoed back upstairs.

Rhiannon's general style could be described as mood-depended. The woman had shown up to work in joggers in a hoodie as much as she had shown up in heels, a blazer, and with a real hairdo. After a few years of feeling a little nervous and slightly anxious every time the external supervisors had come to visit and question or sometimes just watch and take notes (which was worse!), she had begun her battle plan. Her first battle, she showed up in her widest hoodie and leggings, walking through the lab on socks (of course only when no further safety clothing - such as shoes - were required). The supervisors had frowned upon her but said nothing else. From then on, she had made it her goal to wear something "inappropriate" every time they showed up. With the exception being on days they needed something from them or when they were talking about evaluations. Why was that even still a thing? It had become abundantly clear that the government was interested in their work and ready to wait for their breakthrough - at least Rhiannon tried to convince herself of that. The alternative would be to get anxious every time the government's people showed up because it might be the day where they shut them down.

Anyways. She had shown up in various costumes before. Her favorite was still the duck costume that she wore and sadly had to undress out of before she could do any real work in the lab because it was just not meant for delicate work - or for holding a pen... But she did show up with it! A little late because she had told Lisa she'd needed to run an errand before. Another one of her favorites was when she wore nothing but a bikini and her lab coat. Granted, she felt a little uncovered but she was still proud of going through with it. The crazy scientist costume had been the favorite of the government people as far as she would be able to guess. They never really let on what they were thinking but she thought she had seen them crack a smile that one time. She was also certain that they were holding bets on her get-ups by now. Of course, she wouldn't know. But she liked to imagine so.

Today was not one of those battle days. Instead, she picked out a decent color for her outfit of the day, a simple blouse, heels, and a long but light coat. They had a breakthrough yesterday. It was a serious-clothes day. Once Rhiannon was dressed, she strapped a watch to her wrist and went to the bathroom to attend to her hair. She managed - with a big amount of bobby pins - to put her hair upwards in a way that was still loose enough to look chill but tight enough to not fall out when she walked. She just had to remember to not spin around quickly. That rapid movement might destroy her hairdo.

With the heels from her closet finally being worn the second time - the first time having been ages ago - they looked like they were newly bought. As she went down the stairs the heels accompanied her every step with a sound. "I'm ready to leave."

The sleepy woman let out one more growl as the comforting warmth moved and slipped away from her. Rhiannon would have liked to protest against her wife leaving the bed, even though it was her who had talked about getting up first. Her body wriggled closer to the sleeping spot her wife had just left and she snuggled into Lisa's pillow. The beauty of a morning cloud wrapped around her sleepy mind was too much bliss for Rhiannon to leave and so she drifted off into another restful few minutes.

She awake to Lisa's words, telling her that the shower was free. Rhiannon moaned in displeasure. "You're too loud", the woman beneath the messy bed-hair complained. She wasn't sure if Lisa had heard her complaint as no answer followed. With another groan, Rhiannon forced herself to slowly sit up. She felt like a zombie. And the throbbing in her head came right back to her.

Her limbs somehow managed to carry her to the bathroom and allow her to brush her teeth. Only when she had a clean mouth and had forced a brush through her hair did she enter the shower. Rhiannon could never shower with such tangled hair or bed-breath. It made her feel unclean. No. She enjoyed the feeling of stepping out of the shower and being entirely fresh. And her hair... well... you try to shower with strays of entangled hair and get your fingers through them while washing... It's not fun. And it's even less fun when you have entangled wet hair. So brushing first it was.

Once showered, Rhiannon grabbed a pain killer pill from their medicine cabinet in the bathroom and walked downstairs on bare toes and wrapped in a comfy cuddly bathrobe. The amazing smell of omelets wrapped around her head and made her smile sheepishly. But the throbbing still persisted and Rhiannon kept her eyes half-closed against the bright sunlight.

"Just water please." She seated her tired, heavy body at the kitchen table. Lisa handed her the desired glass of water and Rhiannon swallowed the pain killer and drank up the entire glass. Water was supposed to help. "I wanna continue right where we left off yesterday. I was thinking we could try to regulate the power with the electric buffer you put together - mind you, the only one that hasn't fried up yet - and we should be able to connect the blink drive safely to the motherboard of the portal. I don't wanna ask for resources for yet another blink drive. Those fuckers take ages to put together. After all, they're essentially what provides our portal with coordinates throughout time and space. Anyway. If we increase the power intake slowly and monitor the radiation closely, we might be able to figure out the exact numbers for a safe energy supply - oooh! omelets!"

Rhiannon's monologue halted as the picturesque breakfast was placed in front of her. "Thank you." At least the alcohol intake from last night hadn't interfered with Rhiannon's appetite. The food felt like a blessing in her mouth and she almost felt her body gaining energy. Like in a video game when you watch your health stat getting filled up. With a full mouth, Rhiannon continued her thoughts: "What I mean to say is that I am positive we can get the portal to turn on today AND connect the blink drive. If we're lucky we can start testing some dials. But I don't wanna get ahead of myself."

Rhiannon looked up at her wife sitting across the table from her now. A smile spread over her face as her heart skipped a beat. The view of Lisa still brought all the joys of their first kiss, their first 'I love you', their first sleepover with it. "You're beautiful. Do I tell you that enough?"
@yumberry Are you still looking for someone? I'd be interested in some FxF roleplay. Been seeking out new possible partners. I really like fantasy elements in my RP. Your kidnapper x captured royal intrigues me. But I am also always down for some elf RP. And magic is always something I'll gladly consider. Shoot me a PM if you like.

Rhiannon's eyes opened to bright sunlight and a painful throbbing in her head. She growled and threw her arm over her eyes. She had no idea how late it actually was but the sun was hitting right through their bedroom window now. In their drunken state the night before, neither of them had closed the curtains. Something Rhiannon found to be regretting heavily right now.

She turned away from the window and snuggled into the person next to her. The familiar smell of her lover's sleep shirt against her face filled her throbbing mind and Rhiannon felt calm despite the pain. Why do I even drink this much? It always gives me a headache. Granted, Rhiannon usually didn't get drunk. She enjoyed her alcohol in moderation. But yesterday had been a big day. Such a success! And just like that, Rhiannon began to growl again.

"Lis?", she whispered with a dry mouth. Then louder. "Lisa? How late is it? We gotta get to work." But the woman didn't look a single bit like she was ready to get up and go to work. Instead, she snuggled deeper into the wonderful smell and the softness of the shirt. Gosh, how lovely the warm blanket felt and their bodies close. She hoped this would never fade.

"Breakthrough", Rhiannon grumbled sleepily. "Need to get to work. Much...to do." Whatever her next words might've been, they got lost in the sleepy grumble packaging they came in. Rhiannon seemed about ready to slip back to sleep.


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