User has no status, yet



Most Recent Posts

Just wondering what everyone's experiences are with this topic, or even if it's ever come up.

For clarification, I'm not talking about the archetype who constantly tries to find a peaceful resolution to everything. Including the time those assassins broke into their room in an attempt to murder everyone. Though I suppose we could include them in this discussion. I'm talking more about characters who are not tailor made for combat. Support characters that have other ways of interacting with the story. Maybe they're a mechanic who's involved with finding ways of improving the combat suits, Or a potion seller who got sucked into an adventure.

I can't say I've come across such characters very often, But they usually benefit the RP in a big way. Obviously they more come into their own out of combat, but it can sometimes be interesting to watch them overcome their fear or try to fit themselves in a fight that makes sense. I'll have to share some stories when I have more time to write.

But I was wondering how RPG feels about it.

(And Helga Too)

Mika parted her cat ears so that Helga could pat her head. She didn't say anything back to Helga, but her widening grin and closed eyes were a clear indication that she was enjoying the attention. When Helga turned around to face Su, her expression changed. Her eyes opened up to half mast as her grin continued to expand. She reached out and stroked the top of her snake's head, which was wearing the same face she was.

”Gah!” Was all Su could manage before Boteg cut in.

”Tis most splendid!” He approached Mika, who at this point was innocently playing her flute again. ”Thou shall go forth and bring the terrible one's champion to justice! Then mayhap we shall celebrate with most bountiful feast! One made from ocean sprinklers and valley runners!”

Mika giggled. ”We've got to teach you some modern English. Hey, can you pass me your laptop?”

Su still didn't trust Mika. But that was hardly something that needed to be pressed at the moment. It wasn't like she could pose much of a threat to Boteg. However...

”Huh?” Su was yanked out of her thoughts when Helga asked a very important question. ”Um.” She lowered her head and her bangs covered her eyes. ”I'm... Actually not sure where we should start looking.” After allowing herself a moment to regain her composure, Su lifted her head back up. ”I don't know where Mariette or Eli are, but I know they are friends with a certain group of genies. They should be easier to find.” Helga and Su transformed back into their normal appearances ”Hopefully it won't cost me a wish this time, but I doubt fate will be that kind to us.” The duo turned a corner to walk down a flight of stairs. Soon enough they would be on the street, actively searching for their mark. Maybe no one saw Mariette, but someone had to have seen the djinn sisters.

Something landed behind Katelyn.

Eliza was not going after her particular quarry in a very discreet way, and neither had Katelyn. It shouldn't have been a surprise that more magical girls would become alerted by the wanton destruction. Perhaps the stranger had simply been watching Eliza, waiting for his moment to strike, before Katelyn showed up.

The individual in particular was none other than Elroy Bates. Eliza would have recognized him from the battle at the garage if she could remember the encounter. He had come out of his monster form and walked away from that fight. Katelyn likely had no recollection of this individual. He was covered in blood, and gripping a blood stained paper note. If either of them had third eye, they might have noticed him using shadow magic to blend into a nearby building before jumping to where he was now. Otherwise, he would have seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"And alllll I need to finish my shopping list is some monster wings." Elroy tossed the bloody piece of paper off to the side before flashing a grin. "...But nobody said they couldn't come from monster girls!" He pulled the shield off of his back and let it slam into the ground. The chains wrapped around it's surface were moving suspiciously. "Lizard lady! Chicken little! Let me have the wings off of your back! You'll find you'll fit into a lot more dresses when you don't need to squeeze your wings into them. Take it from an incubus who has no wings of his own!"

Regina was laying on her belly on the roof of a nearby building. Her sniper rifle positioned in front of her. She might have been able to get a clear shot at Eliza, but Katelyn's attack put both girls into a building to the left to Regina position. Regina wasn't really set up to fire directly into the office building at this angle. That wasn't to say she would be useless, but the types of attacks she could use were more limited. Her psychic shots couldn't permeate solid objects. "Remember the part about ambushing her, Elroy?" Regina grumbled to herself. She currently had a very impressive array of spells cast around herself. She couldn't be seen or heard by those outside her spell, at least under normal conditions. Her cover had been blown too many times for her to believe she was safe from all forms of detection. But at least now they had the ability to shut down their auras.

”Please don't be upset with Elroy.” One of the converted beacon girls placed a hand on Regina's shoulder, rubbing it slightly. ”If you'd like, we can rush them.”

"The less you guys do, the better." Regina looked through her scope. "I want you to be a surprise for later."

Veronica was not one to stand idle for very long. She had many girls under her control, and was often touching bases with one of them at any given time. But Veronica did find time to do things that didn't directly pertain to her duties with the Mint. She was currently sitting in her office reading a news article. The newest article marked “Penrose Preternatural” in particular caught her interest. The story was already covered on a different page, but it was done in a way to make the story believable to normal humans. This story was made for the magical girls who could understand what actually happened. Veronica did find it unusual that both stories were written by the same writer: Charlotte Suthers. While it was clear to Veronica why it was done this way, it seemed like a good way to lose credibility with those less magical in nature. Not that many people would remember such things anyway. They had been doing things this way for the better part of two years, so it must not have been an issue. It was just a mental note Veronica made to herself every time she noticed it. Her job was not that much different than that of a journalist. While the end goal was different, both dealt in intelligence.

And if the apology by Charlotte Suthers was any indication, it seemed like her intelligence wasn't very good.

It is foolish to believe that intelligence and information are the same thing. A rumor, a source, a story, all were forms of information. But information needs to be verified before it can be transformed into intelligence. The reporters in this instance should have been verifying everything they were seeing. Assuming that there were no beacon girls present when not all of the magical girls had been verified was extremely ignorant on the part of the independent's reporters, or “agents.” Charlotte Suthers may have dumped all the blame on the reporters, But her presenting bad intelligence was not entirely their fault. A few simple questions could have revealed a “lack of information,” and she would have gotten her facts correct. Instead, she decided to run with her “information” that made for a better story. It was one thing to report a grizzly murder, but the idea that Beacon was turning their back to the whole thing was vastly more interesting. But that likely blew up in their faces. The fallout must have been spectacular to write an edit nearly as large as the story itself. There must have been a huge backlash from a lot of beacon girls. There was very little that could save the credibility of Charlotte Suthers, her editor, and the independent at this point. At least in Veronica's eyes.

But Veronica was not faultless on the front of relaying bad intelligence. She had just received word this morning that there was a plant in her organization. One that had her sending Sam after one of her own girls weeks ago. Unfortunately, the reclusive nature of Ebon Mint meant that she could never properly verify the sources of her information. It was rare for Veronica to ever receive true intelligence. She had recently taken steps to make communication between her agents more transparent, but she wasn't sure if it would be enough. There had to be more she could do, to make sure she wasn't a victim of bad intelligence again.

Before Veronica could pursue that thought much further, she got a call on one of her lines. She lifted a finger to her ear.

”Ugh...” an exausted groan escaped Veronica's ear piece.


”Gah!” Binky's yelped. ”Veronica! I didn't expect you to call back!”

The coin broker folded her arms. “You just called me.”

Binky was one of Veronica's older contacts. She was pretty easy to identify because she looked more or less like a virgin sacrifice. In terms of magical girl powers she got the short end of the stick. While her magic would normally be very potent, her specialization is making fast food appear out of nowhere. She can make Chinese, burgers, even pizza if she really focuses. Binky is also relatively cowardly, and prefers to stay out of combat. Normally that is not an option for a magical girl. However, Veronica has recruited her as a researcher. Her ability to create food and duplicate herself makes her adequate for such a task.

”Right right, that's right!” Binky wiped her mouth on her arm. ”I haven't slept in thirty-six hours. So I'm a little exhausted.”

“I don't want to hear excuses, do you have anything to report?”

”Right right, I'm sorry!” Binky sighed. ”It's about project scarlet.” She laughed. ”I got a reaction!”

“From the coins?”

”Yes! They work!” Binky gasped. ”This is, a very big first step. Even on its own this could change the world forever!”

Veronica smiled. “You're not done until you reach the end goal, but I'm glad progress is being made.”

”That's not all though. These mutations.” Binky flipped through some pages. ”I've never seen anything like it before! I've documented it all but-”

“I'll have to stop by to take a look.”

”Yes! Please!” Binky's voice was shaking with excitement. ”Please bring toilet paper, and some change. I haven't been able to do any wash for two weeks straight, and I'm not sure how much longer my underwear is going to last. It's really itchy.”

“Of course. I will get you all squared away as soon as I can.”

”Alright, I hope you come soon. My clones are starting to bully me.”

as soon as she ended the call, she looked at the web page for the Penrose Independent. Someone had written a comment. Apparently not everyone was as unforgiving of bad intelligence as Veronica was. But that was fine. Not everyone had what it took to be a decent coin broker. Though given who posted, that didn't surprise Veronica. Regardless, that was hardly important. Veronica had been getting reports of a nuisance. Perhaps it was time to deal with that just to keep things quiet again.

@Crusader Lord

Nevermore caught a lead that directed her into a fairly dark alley. Allegedly Veronica was spotted here frequently, and it would be a good place to search for her. But as soon as she flew inside, the world started to turn very dark. Almost as if the sun had fallen out of the sky. But even in total darkness, Nevermore was able to see. What the raven might have been surprised by was the tar-like substance forming in the darkness. It bubbled and popped, and soon completely surrounded the bird. Nevermore was now flying inside a giant sphere no wider than the alleyway. She had to keep circling to stay aloft.

“It is not wise to search for an Ebon coin broker.” Veronica's voice seemed to come from all angles. “Why are you looking for me?”

”Ahhh! Jeez, you and Lord Soth seem to come from the same school of ‘scaring a bird 101’. What’s next, i get sent to find a dancing penguin only to trigger Second Impact?

Ah, but yes my master does have business he wishes to do with your group! He wants to acquire one of your proprietary coins to give to his magical girl to use at a chosen time! It is something that would of course put her in the Mint’s Debt and at your service, yes!

And in return for his sending a servant of his into your service, he desires certain resources in return!”

“Hmmmmm.” Nevermore couldn't see it, but she could picture the owner of the voice rubbing her chin in thought. “It's not very common for me to offer a coin, especially at the suggestion at a horror. It's not especially difficult for me to locate magical girls. I do not see what makes yours so special.” Several things started to poke out of the all encompassing tar wall. Once the tips of Nevermore's wings started to brush them, they stopped. It became apparent that they were the tips of various weapons. “I would like to know what it is that your lord requires, and what makes him think one worthless, mind bent girl is worth my time.”

”She is the magical girl of Lord Soth! The Infinite Abyss! The Emptiness of the Void! The Great Lord by which all returns to in the end, yes!

She can tap into Lord Soth’s great power! She can project the void into her darkness, and erase your problems and enemies away, yes! Free cleanup duty for messy situations is also possible, due to her powers! Her magical might is high, and her willingness to serve is good as well, yes! She can be put to work very well, hmm!

All my Lord Desires in return is a corpse. Be that of a young girl exposed to magic, or that of a deceased magical girl, yes! All to study how to better craft magical girls on his part in the future!

Is not a living servant a potentially fair trade for an unmoving, useless corpse, hmm?

If this does not work, then what else might the Ebon Mint want of my lord in payment for his request? He possesses many things, yes, many things from around the universe as well that he has acquired in his immense work!”

“Create magical girls?” Nevermore was not left in silence this time. She could clearly hear a growl as Veronica formed her thoughts. “If Soth is so quick to throw away one of his magical girls for a corpse, then maybe he can make his own.” An object was fired out of the tar and struck Nevermore hard enough to knock her off course. Fortunately, the weapons retracted and the tar vanished. Nevermore was able to crash land beside the projectile; a black coin.  ”I pity you raven, there on the floor. You'll get this coin, and nothing more.”

Then the darkness faded, and her presence seemed to disappear.

Nevermore stood up again, checking her feathers over and trying to shake off the rude landing. The raven mumbled a few words under her breath in an alien tongue, but swiftly snatched up the single Black Coin in her talons. She then tried to get up in the air again, before a sudden gust of wind sent her flying down again, crashing into the open dumpster in the alley, having been sent off course again by….sudden forces at play.

”Rahhh!” the raven squaked from the dumpster, voicing frustration at having landed in-, ”Wait, is that a dead rat sitting on top of half an onion-topped stuffed crust pizza?! Score!!!

After a brief moment to take a bite to eat, which was in retrospect far faster than a normal bird should be able to eat, Nevermore hopped up onto the edge of the dumpster. The Black Coin was firmly in her talons, though before she could say more an inky black orb appeared in the air in front of her. It lacked the same nature as that broker’s, er, sphere? Hard to tell that overall shape of the place when she had been having to keep flying to avoid drowning in tar or running into points objects.

’Ah, your mission was to this end a success, my servant?

Then come, embrace the darkness and return to Annabelle’s side. The coin shall remain in my care proper till’ the chosen time when it will be used. Just as you told the Broker.’

Nevermore rolled her eyes at the situation as Lord Soth’s voice bounced around inside her skill, but regardless she hopped off the edge of the dumpster toward the orb. In an instant, the orb swallowed up the raven and itself, both disappearing in the blink of an eye and without a trace.
If this forum were to ever crash and burn though (which has happened to me in the past) I would try to back up anything that I felt was important. Then over time, I would probably wonder why I felt the posts and such were even worth saving, and will likely leave them behind.

I remember the memories, the struggles, and the satisfaction they brought me when I was actually writing. But for some reason, reading the posts themselves bring me less joy as the RP fades into a memory and my ability to write improves. The memories are the real hallmark of wonderful RPs, and the text itself becomes less important over time. I still remember my first RP. It spent many years on my computer, but the words we wrote together couldn't live up to their memory. I no longer possess it.

Any contacts I wish to keep are nestled away in discord somewhere. If the forum falls, I'll still have my connections.

Mahz has shown up to fix problems in the past. Even though the silly vacation banner has been up forever, the forum crashes have since stopped. And if he doesn't, it will affect me very little.

Nice fear mongering, BTW.
Anyways. I’m happy you found it entertaining. Heh, how many other works of mine have you read, I wonder? How long have you been here that I don’t currently remember? Oh, well, anyways. Thank you for the review~

Just your last entry when I started reviewing, admittedly.

Oh, and I'm a guy. Waifu avatars confuse everyone. I'm not sorry.


So you did mention what they were after. Fair enough. I must have been growing restless. I'll blame Frizan's narrow deadline for the votes anyway, heh.

Word budgeting is a writer's tool, and there's not really any easy way to estimate unless you practice. Because I always count my words after writing a post, I can usually guess how much I've written withing a few hundred words. But a lot of things factor into how long a scene is from your writing style and how detailed you choose to make a particular scene. Writing is kind of magical in that a quick brown fox can jump over a lazy brown dog in just ten words. But it can also be blown up to a hundred words if I want to make it a bit more dramatic, or even a thousand words if I want to add in some backstory.

To start though, you just need to decide on how many scenes you want to have and how long the story has to be. As an example, Let's say I want to write a story about a man who goes to war. I may want to write a story that has 6K words and has 3 arcs. The first arc is the man telling his family he's going to war, the second arc is the war itself, and the third arc is him returning home and seeing how much has changed. I would start writing with the idea that my budget was 2k words for each arc. If I start to go over, I could just prune the current/former arc or decide that the next arc will just be shorter. But maybe my second and third arc are shorter than expected and I have an extra 1.5K words to play with. Maybe I could write a 4th arc where he visits the enemy nation if it helps the idea I'm trying to establish with my story.

Just something to play around with. Some people find it helpful, others distracting.

Starting location, Priestella

The giant wolf immediately took notice of flame and was prepared to pounce on him. The creature's height and long legs made it very quick, and Flame would not have normally been able to get out of the way. However...

It proved to be a great distraction for Mirt, who was able to jump onto the creature as it ran by the window. The wolf's attention shifted to its newest passenger. It thrashed about, stomping all over the table as it attempted to buck Mirt off of it's back. But it was no use, and the monk's fingers went straight into the beast's eye unimpeded. But it didn't wimpier. The wolf only growled in response.

It seemed like all Mirt did was anger it further.

At this point, the wolf was threatening to trample the two knights and the girl traveling with them. Not that any of them were on the wolf's mind at the moment. It was just building up speed before leaning against the brick walls. If Mirt continued to hold on, he would surely be ground to bits between the wolf and the fortified wall. But falling under the wolf's back paws presented it's own challenges...

For the non-natives, it seemed like the path to the kitchen was clear. And with the knights showing up, this couldn't have happened a moment too soon.

Center road, The Golden Quarter, Priestella

Vasilis grinned as he watched the “foreigners” inspect their surroundings. ”It's like this is all new to them or something. They must be from really far away.” He thought out loud. The knight turned to look at Irene. ”Ready to head back?”

It did not take long for everyone to get to the Golden Quarter. Vasilis stepped out of the cab first, and helped Irene, Chieko, Aerith, and Hiro down in that order.

Fritzi nodded along to Hiro's questions. ”Well, if you want to blend in, it's more than just a question of what to wear.” She raised her finger in front of Hiro's nose. ”It's wear you want to wear it!” She cast her hands of to the side, presenting some fine tunics, each dyed a dark shade of red, blue, or green. ”If you plan on venturing into the noble district, clothes like these would make you blend right in! They're just the right blend of casual and majesty. Fine enough for a noble, while modest enough to wear anywhere in the city. Classy yet practical! But they aren't strictly a mark of the social elite, merchants and some commoners wear them.” Her hand moved to a row further back, which featured similar outfits. Though even at a glance, it was easy to see they weren't as fine. The stitching was much simpler, and the colors were brighter, but looked washed out and flat. ”These are a bit more comfortable, but are less likely to impress a noble. But these are my fastest sellers. The quality is decent enough for most commoners, and everyone loves the price! Just stay out of the noble district.” She slammed her hands against the counter top. ”But if you really want to blend in, you've gotta accessorize!” Fritzi stopped speaking the moment Hiro's hands dove into his pockets and pulled up nothing. She stared at him, mouth hanging agape. There was a twinkle in her eyes, like any second the flood gates would open. ”...Whaaaaaaat?” But then Irene passed a bag of coins to Chieko, and she sighed. ”Um, yea, I'm sure you could trade with someone around here, but YAY! You have money now!” She winked at Hiro before planting her hands on her hips. ”Trading away your belongings for some quick cash is a slippery slope, and I wouldn't advise doing it.” She folded her arms. ”So, what's everyone buying? And do you have names? I'd like to make you guys repeat customers. I feel like there's a lot I could offer you guys!”

”Near the docks”, Cham, Priestella

The situation thoroughly confounded Aer. There was little to no chance of these people being forieners if they didn't have the paperwork. No one was allowed inside the city without some documentation. It wasn't a sure thing, but it was highly unlikely.

They couldn't have been bandits. Firstly, the outfits really drew too much attention. That wasn't something a bandit would wear. Even if they did, there was no reason to come prepared with such a lame story. It was also extremely risky to present a magical device that they had stolen from one of the locals. They also outnumbered her, and had plenty of opportunities to go for their weapons.

They might have been cultists. This was a theory that was showing a lot more promise But she had heard that they were fear mongers who often wielded powerful magic. At least when travailing in a group, it made sense that one of them would be strong enough to protect the others. The only thing that might have made sense was for this demihuman to secretly be a cultist in disguise. But there was no reason to leave his side and surrender to Aer. Even if this was all just a ruse to get Aer surrounded, there were plenty of hostages around. If they were willing to take advantage of the situation, there were plenty of avenues of escape. But they had intentionally separated themselves from their savior to surrender to Aer. That didn't make sense to her. The only way it made sense was if they were more scared of this demihuman than they were of the authorities. And they seemed plenty scared of the authorities. However unlikely, they must have been telling the truth.

"Just... Stand off to the side for a moment." Aer walked past the boys and pointed her weapon at Wisp. It was still wrapped up in cloth. "I see you don't have a problem disturbing the peace." She slid her feet apart and landed in a stance, with the shaft of the object resting in both hands. By this point all the bystanders was giving her plenty of space. "I thought your name sounded familiar, but there's no way you're part of the Compass." She fret her brow. "Put out that fire before I do it for you."
I wanna thank the academy, and I wanna thank @Exit and @PlatinumSkink for joining the contest because I asked them to. I also wanna thank @Vocab for going super saiyan.

I know I clicked thank on everyone's review, but I also wanna write a thank you to everyone who commented on my story. I found myself agreeing with all the criticisms. I'll do better in the future.

Oh, but one point about your review for my entry @Calle:

Grammar wise, the thing I noticed a few times in the story was the passive form where you could have used the active.
she knew that papa was going to come in --> she knew that papa would come in
While she was recovering --> while she recovered
Fortunately she was wearing something other ... --> Fortunately she wore something other ...
There are more, those are the first three I came across.
I know I used the passive voice a lot too, until someone pointed it out. Nowadays I try to avoid using passive when active can be used and I seem to spot it more easily in other people’s writing too :) which is why I decided to mention it to you.

The advice that you're offering is good. You genuinely want to write in past tense unless it's in dialog. But what you're talking about is past/present/future tense, which isn't the same as passive/active voice. Passive is "Running for the door, Bob put on a coat." Where the active voice is "Bob put on a coat while running for the door." In passive, the verb comes first where in active it comes after the subject. Active voice is preferred in story writing because it's less confusing.

I just wanted to clear that up because if people are saying you're writing passive VS active voice, that's what they're referring to. Or they don't know what they're talking about!
You guys are great, btw.
Whoa shit, I had to edit my post because I made Thomas call the herbalist by name. whew.
@Gareth Yes, I read that.

Um, if it has merit or not depends on if you can get enough people running games every day of the week in various time zones so that you will always have something to join, when you feel like joining it. And while I can't possibly know how many people are interested in an idea like this, the sheer manpower required to pull something off like that probably doesn't exist on this forum. You're asking a large group of people to fill a niche this forum doesn't really cater to. Which is why I suggested roll20.

It seemed like an entire month had passed since Jezebel posed her question to Daimyon. He didn't budge of course. Thomas was bleeding out of his arms, and Faith's life was at risk. Daimyon was just as hard to sway as Thomas was. Both were incredibly stubborn individuals, determined not to back down. While it wasn't clear what Thomas wanted the notebook for, it was apparent that he would do anything in his power to get it. Just as Daimyon was determined not to surrender it.

“We're totally past words huh? ” Jezebel spoke as she stepped behind Daimyon's seat. She put about ten feet between herself and his back, practically standing up against the wall.“Like, I dunno why I didn't think of it before but...” She raised her arm. “You so can't get to a poet with words, you totally need to use a little action!” With Jezebel's arm leveled with the back of the poet's chair, it was a simple matter for gadget-propelled-fist to launch out of her sleeve and strike the back of the chair. The blow wasn't strong enough to break the wooden chair, which served to evenly distribute the force over Daimyon's back. The blow was hardly lethal, but it hurled the poet onto the floor hard enough for him to drop the handbook. Marianne's handbook skidded across the floor and bounced against Denis's foot. The Spy was quick to bend over and pick up the handbook, which he now held with both hands. After giving it a quick examination, he looked up at Thomas.

"How interesting." Thomas stepped away from Faith, and by extension, Noah. He was swift, but the bio mechanic would have fallen over if there wasn't a wall to catch him. "It would seem that after all that, everything went just as expected." While Thomas was barely able to stand, he still possessed the strength to smile in satisfaction. "But this is hardly a loss for you, Poet. You enjoy turning the suffering of others into song. I would not be surprised if you drew things out hoping this would turn into a tragedy." After taking a few steps, he started to regain his footing. Denis's eyes turned back towards the floor. "I will explain why I needed the herbalist's handbook to you in time. But we need to finish our preparations for tonight." Thomas stepped outside of the study and the door shut. All was as quiet as when the meeting first started.

“Meeting's over.” Jezebel walked towards the door, ignoring glances from anyone else looking her way.
© 2007-2017
BBCode Cheatsheet