Captain Uni

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

<Snipped quote by Simple Unicycle>

Isn't that his origin story?

"How'd you become a hero?"

"I died."

@Lord Wraith

Well now he's ultra dead.
_{Not really tho.}

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

Oh nooooooo Vigilante ded
_{not really tho}

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

Evening
The Crossroads Saloon; Warpath, Texas

---

ISSUE #15
GHOST RIDERS IN THE SKY
PART FIVE

---

They wouldn't stop coming. I only had a few rounds left, and I picked my shots carefully, letting Greg go after the others. But no matter how hard we fought, it seemed that for every Hunter we killed, two more rose in its place. We had to make sure this place blew and fast. We were down to our last leg. As if sensing my thoughts, I heard Greg call out:

”Frank! End game time, compadre! Meet ‘cha out back!”

@DocTachyon

Time to go. I nodded to him, breaking out into a sprint to the backdoor of the saloon. I waited for Greg by the door, keeping my pistols at the ready in case any of the Hunters found their way back here. We'd set up the trip wire in the doorway. As soon as it went, we had about ten seconds to get away before the whole place went up in flames. Hopefully, that'd be enough time.

*CRASH!*

The window to my right turned into a cloud of glass, a Hunter bursting through and swinging a hatchet at me. I stumbled backwards but recovered quickly, firing off a few rounds at him as I fell to the ground. He disappeared into a cloud of smoke as I landed on my ass with a thud. Pulling myself up with a grunt, I realized that I had went through the doorway... And pulled the tripwire along the way. "SHIT! GREG! GET OUT!"

I could only pray that he heard me and began to run. I ran away from the saloon, counting to ten in my head all the while. I didn't run into any Hunters as I got a block or so away. They were probably all in the saloon by now. Hopefully, it was only them in there...

*Krak-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*

The saloon exploded in a ball of fire behind me, the force being enough to send me face first into the ground from a block away. I pushed myself up and turned around, staring in awe at the fire. The saloon was nothing but a pile of rubble, and what was left standing of it was burning down fast. That definitely took care of the Hunters.

And as I looked around, I didn't see Greg in sight.

"No... Oh, God, no." I began to sprint back towards the saloon, shouting my partner's name all the while in the hopes that he had somehow made it out in the nick of time. My cries went unanswered, and I fell to my knees. It was just as I had dreaded: Greg Saunders was dead. All I could do was choke out a small sob as the knowledge hit me.

I don't know why I was so affected by the death of a man I had only known for two days. Maybe it was because he had offered camaraderie like I had never felt before. Maybe it was because he was the only other vigilante I had met who didn't want me to rot in jail. Maybe it was because it was my fault that he had met his untimely death.

I hung my head, sitting in front of the remains of the Crossroads Saloon.

Heroes Reborn: Year Six (OPEN)

5:28 PM; January 15th, 2026
Downtown Gotham; Gotham City, New Jersey
'Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass, and I'm home bound... Cue the piano.'
"We don't need to know how he met his damned pet! Keep going, find the numbers."

Work went about as well as it usually did. David began to make his way home in full Big Belly Burger uniform, a burger clutched in his hand serving as his dinner. A part of him wished that he had enough money to afford driving his motorcycle everywhere, but it was always nice walking around the city... Well, most of the time. Gotham definitely wasn't as bad off as he remembered it being. He could probably thank... Them... For that. He shook his head to clear it of those thoughts, continuing to walk along the sidewalk and not paying much attention to his surroundings.

That is, until he heard a bark behind him. He turned around, seeing a dog sitting there, staring intently at the burger he held in his hand. Looking between the dog and the burger, David shrugged, took one last bite, and tossed it to him. The dog ate it up quickly, giving another bark. "Yeah, you're welcome." Sticking his hands in his pockets, he continued to walk home.

About a block away, he realized the dog was still following him. "Hey, don't you have an owner or something? Scram. Get. Shoo." The dog didn't move from his spot, staring up at David and tilting his head to the side as though in curiosity. David's shoulders slumped a bit. "... Fine. You can walk with me. But you're not going to come into my house." The dog barked at that, picking up the pace and walking side by side with David.

A block later, David found himself occasionally reaching a hand down to scratch behind the dog's ear. After another block, he began to kneel down and pet it a bit while waiting to cross the street. Another block after that, and David began to talk to the dog. Mostly just calling him a good boy, musing on what his name might be. "I'm guessing you don't have a family? No collar on you, you look kinda grungy too." The dog just stared at him with a smile, wagging his tail. "Yeah, I don't have one either."

Try as he might, by the halfway point of the walk, David was growing quite fond of the dog. "Hm... What should I call you?" Obviously, the dog didn't answer his question, but he did look up at him. David thought that the dog quirked an eyebrow at him, as if saying "really? You're asking me, the animal that can't speak?". "Well, yeah, but... I should come up with some kind of name for you." Okay, now the dog really did quirk his brow at him. "How about... Max? You like that name?" The dog, or Max now, barked. "Alright. Max it is."

And so, David and Max headed home. As soon as David opened the door to his apartment, Max ran in, jumping up onto the couch. "Yeah, don't get too comfortable or anything." David chuckled, heading into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of whiskey out of the fridge and a plastic cup off the counter. "Gonna have to get you a bowl, and some dog food. Big Belly Burger isn't healthy for humans, let alone animals, so you can't be having that stuff." Max let out a small whimper at that.

David turned on the TV, watching the news. He began to drink. As he did, Max stared at him, almost like he was judging his new owner. David looked back at him, rolling his eyes. "What? You try living my life, see if you don't feel like falling into a bottle." The dog snorted at his owner, as if unimpressed. "Yeah, screw you too, pal..."

David continued to watch the TV. Eventually, the news faded into commercial break... And David immediately turned off the television at the sight of a Kasimir Realty commercial, featuring his mother. Max looked at David expectedly, as if to say "you're gonna tell me, might as well get it out of the way." David sighed. "That was my mom." Max continued to stare at David. "I... Haven't seen her in a while. Haven't seen my... My brother in a while either."

David remembered better times. Driving around in his Camaro with his brother, the radio blaring Queen at max volume, crumpled paper bags Big Belly Burger in the backseat. Everything was good. The world wasn't in the best of shape, but it would all turn out fine. As long as the three of them had each other, they could topple the world.

And then, everything went bad.

He's still trying to forgive himself for the things he did in the Middle East. But he doesn't think he'll ever be able to forgive himself for the pain he caused his family.

'They deserved it, Dave. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and stop lazing around when we have a job to do.'

'Go to hell, Hood, I'm not in the mood.'

'Feisty, ain't ya?'

David didn't reply to the man riding shotgun in his brain, instead preferring to let him steam over being brushed off.

As if sensing David's uneasiness, Max scooted himself up a bit closer, resting his head on David's lap. Smiling slightly, David began to pet the dog, letting out a breath of relaxation. "... Maybe things won't be so bad from now on now that I've got someone to vent to." As he said that, he heard the quiet snoring coming from the canine, and chuckled. "Even if he doesn't care too much about hearing my complaints."

Heroes Reborn: Year Six (OPEN)

11:48 AM; January 5th, 2026
Hub City General Hospital; Hub City, Illinois

He licked at his knuckles a bit, clearing off the bits of his dried blood from them so no one could see it. He didn't need to be asked how that happened. He ate wordlessly, listening to his friend Rita chatter on about her own life, while only thinking about what he was going to do tonight. The Question picked at his foo- no. That's not his name...

Oscar.

He was Oscar.

Wasn't he?

It had been so long since he thought of himself as Oscar.

But he was still Oscar.

Oscar...

Oscar.

Oscar!

"Oscar!"

Oscar was shaken out of his thoughts by Rita's voice. "You okay? You're not looking too good."

"Yeah. Just been... A bit out of it, these days. Haven't gotten much sleep."

"Well, you need to change that. Staying up all night doing whatever it is you do isn't good for your health."

Oscar tried to put on a goofy grin, but it came off as far more forced than he wanted it to. "Right, because you're an expert on health?"

Rita rolled her eyes, apparently not catching onto the forced nature of Oscar's grin as she gave one of her own. "You know, you're right, it's not like I'm a nurse or anything. Oh, wait."

The pair chuckled at that, continuing to eat lunch. It was moments like these that made Oscar remember that there was something beyond kicking the shit out of criminals. It reminded him of better times, when he wasn't so absorbed in his crusade. Better times...

Heroes Reborn: Year Six (OPEN)

12:03 PM; January 11th, 2026
Big Belly Burger, Downtown Gotham; Gotham City, New Jersey
'The lunch rush. Dear God, the lunch rush.'
"This isn't working! These memories don't mean anything. Why don't we pry his head open? We need to know what the numbers mean."

Work was never easy. If it wasn't for the fact that it was the only job he could get, David would have jumped at the chance to have a job that wasn't prone to making people go grey from stress. He had a hard enough time keeping his own anger in check dealing with customers who were clueless, obnoxious, rude, or, God forbid, all of the above, never mind trying to reign in the nigh uncontrollable anger of a certain psychopath he was sharing a body with. If he had to listen to Hood scream bloody murder in his head one more Goddamn time...

"Uh, excuse me. I'd like to order." David blinked, focusing his attention on the customer in front of him. An older man, a teenage girl glued to her phone beside him and a young boy on his shoulders.

"Oh, sorry. Zoned out a bit. Welcome to Big Belly Burger, what can I get you?" The teen looked up from her phone at David's voice, looking him up and down and biting her lip slightly. David blinked, avoiding eye contact. This was not a thing he needed right now.

"I'll take two Big Bonus Burgers, a Little Belly Meal, one large fries, two large cokes, and a small chocolate shake."

"And will that be for here or to go, sir?"

"Here."

"That'll be twenty-six dollars and seventy-six cents." The man handed Dave a twenty and a ten, and David put the money in the register before handing the man his change. "You're order number... Forty-two, sir. Have a nice meal." The man nodded to David, before taking his children to a booth, the girl looking back at David and winking at him. The young man pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Save for the unwanted flirting, this was pretty routine, not too bad except for the obvious. But it always got worse.

After about half an hour, things started to go bad. A larger man approached the counter, a particularly dopey look about him.

"Welcome to Big Belly Burger, what can I get you?"

"Can I get... Uh..." The man looked up at the menu, tapping his chin in contemplation. This continued for close to a minute, the man tapping his chin and occasionally saying "Um..." while staring up at the menu items.

David quirked a disapproving eyebrow. "Sir. You're holding up the line."

"Oh, sorry. I'll take... Um... Hm..."

David's brow furrowed. Sighing slightly, he put on a false grin, saying, "Sir, if you're not sure what to get, I suggest the Big Belly Combo Meal. You get a Big Bonus Burger, one large fries, a box of four buffalo wings, and a large drink of your choice. All for only twenty dollars."

"Sure, I'll take that." The man pulled a twenty out of his wallet, handing the money to Dave.

"You're order number fifty-seven, sir. Have a good day." The man went on his way. David took in a deep breath, counting to ten before releasing it. This was bad. But it could only get worse from here.

Worse came twenty minutes later in the form of a slimeball clad in a grey suit, hair slicked back, tie neatly held in place by a clip, phone pressed to his ear and endlessly jabbing away to the person on the other end of the line. A fucking businessman. "Welcome to Big Belly Burg-" David's typical greeting was cut off by a slender finger being held up and a sharp "shhhh". David fought back a sneer of disgust.

"Look Charlie, you'll get your Goddamned paycheck when I see those reports on my desk... Oh don't give me any of that 'oh, it's been two months since I've been paid' or 'I have kids to feed at home' bullshit, Charlie, we both know that second one's a fuckin' lie." He pressed a hand against the phone. "Big Bonus Burger."

"Right sir, that'll be nine dollars." The man slid David a ten, and David handed him back a dollar. "You're order sixty-six." The man nodded, heading to his seat.

That went... Surprisingly well, actually. David allowed himself to breath in a sigh of relief. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad after all.

Ten minutes later...

The businessman marched up to the front counter, looking positively furious. "I told you no lettuce!"

David blinked. "What? No you didn't."

"Yeah, I did. Are you calling me a liar?"

"Sir, I'm sure if we just talked this thro-"

"Don't back talk me, boy. Now, I want some compensation for the poor service here."

David gritted his teeth. "Sir, can't you just, oh, I don't know, take the lettuce out of the burger?"

"The point isn't that I can take the lettuce out of the burger, it's the fact that you didn't listen to my instructions in the first place. Now, I want a refund, and a burger with no lettuce to make up for this."

"Sir, you're being unreasonable."

"Unreasonable, eh? Are you sure you wouldn't like a talk with my lawyer? About the fraud you pulled?"

"Fraud? What fra-"

"The fraud you pulled by telling me there would be no lettuce in the burger!"

David was practically grinding his teeth to a fine powder at this point. Deep breaths, David. Deep breaths. "... Fine, sir. I'll talk with the cooks."

Spoiler alert: the guy walks away with his nine Goddamn dollars and another burger, looking smug as a snake. Inside David's head, Red Hood's cries for retribution were left unanswered, and he returned to work.

Fuck the lunch rush.

8:42 PM; January 11th, 2026
Some Back Alleyway; Gotham City, New Jersey

"FUCK YOU!" David shouted as he slammed his fist into the mugger's ear, sending the man to the ground. Crawling on top of him, David began to beat relentlessly on the thug's face. "FUCK YOUR SUIT! AND YOUR TIE! AND YOUR HAIR! AND YOUR PHONE!" Each sentence was punctuated with a fist pounding down onto the crook's face. "AND FUCK! YOUR! NO! LETTUCE!"

The poor guy probably had a fractured skull, but he was alive. David pulled himself off the mugger, letting out a long breath. He turned to the would-be victim, who was staring in shock at the bloodied and bruised face of her attacker as he squirmed around and whimpered in pain. "... Sorry you had to see that. Been a long, long day at work. You, uh, need someone to walk you home?"

"U-um, no t-thanks, I'm fine w-walking on my own..." With that, the woman began to speedwalk away, before breaking out into a sprint once she reached the sidewalk.

David shook his head, massaging his temples. He still had a headache from work. "... Fuck businessmen."

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

Evening
Near The Crossroads Saloon; Warpath, Texas

---

ISSUE #15
GHOST RIDERS IN THE SKY
PART FOUR

---

If you had told me a few months ago that I would wind up being on the run, traveling the country and fighting crime, I would've laughed at you. If you had told me that I'd also end up fighting against servants of the Devil in a small Texas town with a cowboy, I'd have had you locked up in an insane asylum. But here I was, running through the alleys of Warpath, occasionally looking over my shoulder to fire off a few rounds at the ungodly bastardizations of men that were hunting me.

The alley was narrow, and they almost had to come at me in a single file line. It was easy enough to mow them down with a few well-placed shots, and none of them got too close to give me any trouble. The saloon shouldn't be too far away, I should be getting there soon. I just had to hold out a little longer...

*Click* *Click*

My hope was snuffed out with the familiar clicks of empty guns. Rather than holster the SMGs, I tossed them to the ground. Turning around and bolting, I pulled out my twin pistols, just in case I ran into any along the way. They were everywhere, and I could only pray that Greg was doing better than I was. He had that whip of his, maybe if he ran out of ammo he could use that. Me? I'd be thoroughly screwed.

By the time I reached the Crossroads Saloon, Greg was already there, thrashing at the Hunters with his lariat, swinging objects into them as makeshift weapons and occasionally putting one down with a shot from his revolver. Rushing towards the old saloon, I leapt through the windows, firing as I went and taking out a handful of Hunters. I tucked my body into a roll, coming to a stop not too far from Greg in a crouch.

"Cavalry's here." I stood up, twisting around to the entrance of the old saloon. "You got this place primed and ready to blow at a moment's notice?"

Heroes Reborn: Year Six (OPEN)

Pictured: everyone's reactions to my posts so far

I don't mean to be edgy I'm sorry

Heroes Reborn: Year Six (OPEN)

January 2nd, 2026; 8:43 AM
Downtown; Hub City, Illinois
'The city dresses itself up nicely in an attempt to hide its aging, bloated body writhing in maggots and disease. It doesn't do much.'

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

The world opens up to him.

All of its lies and half-truths are exposed, the never ending ley lines of chi forever moving throughout the universe are visible, and the city...

It can speak to him.

And when it speaks, he Hears.

"Speak to me, Hub City. What ails thee, drug-addled whore clinging to schizophrenic dreams?" the faceless freak asks.

"It's bad, man..." a worried man in a phone booth says.

"... it might be cancer..." a young woman sobs to her lover in a nearby cafe.

"... worst case I've seen in a while." a doctor across town explains to a patient.

"Where is your pain, doomed crack baby suckling on poison cola death nipple?" the protector of the weak continues.

"This warehouse I just got, for..."

"... some fucked up shit, man..."

"... it's just outside of town, can't miss it."

"Your help is appreciated, oh crime-ridden terminal tumor of the world." With those words the trenchcoated vigilante prepares to head to work, intent on investigating this clue later.

The sky above is a pleasant blue color, only just rising into the sky. Clouds float around waiting to dissipate into nothingness, birds chirp a delightful song. Down below the ordinary people make their way to work, buying Venti soy mocha coffees with a light whip. They are unaware of, or perhaps blissfully involved in, the dark underbelly of the city. They are blind and deaf, incapable of understanding much beyond what they're required to.

They cannot see that day by day their beloved city is falling apart slowly, painfully.

He can See.

They cannot hear its pleas for help.

He can Hear.

They can only walk in the mundane world.

He can walk between two worlds.

One day there will be an answer as to why the world is in the state it is in. Until then he will fight as hard as he can to help with its symptoms. He does not hope to be able to see the day when it will be cured, because he knows he will not be the one to do it; no, it will be the next generation, and if not the next generation then the one after. He hasn't the might to cure the world.

He is not the answer.

He is only the Question.

---

9:08 PM; January 2nd, 2026
A warehouse on the outskirts of town; Hub City, Illinois
'I don't want to linger here. It feels wrong.'

The warehouse. It was a shoddy thing. Only microscopic amounts of chi touched this place. It was dead. The city could not help him here.

"I must apologize, Hub City. Though I am your will and your hands, I must depart from you momentarily. Forgive me." The chi of the city flowed through him once more, before he could no longer feel his connection to the city proper, just a faint tug telling him that he needs to go back, that it needs him, it wants him.

Flicking up the collar of his trenchcoat, he continued on.

His home is the shadows. Within them he feels the comfort of lounging beside a warm fire place, of returning home after a long day to the kind words of loved ones, of Coke in green glass bottles and steaks sizzling on a grill. But he fights off that comfort, for it makes him weak. It makes him feel secure, and feeling secure leads only to death. He must stay on his toes, lest he die.

The masked avenger used the shadows to approach the back end of the warehouse, entering unheard and unseen. Ahead of him a single beam of light shone down on a poker table, six men surrounding it like corporate suits discussing their next perversion of the American people's hopes and dreams at a conference table. Disgusting. He looked to his left and found the power box.

He killed the lights. The men shouted, argued, before finally agreeing to send what was more than likely the weak link of their little group to check the problem. The walker of worlds waited in the shadows for him to approach. What he found was a man bordering on anorexia, baggy clothes making him look like a small child pretending to be his father. Question crept up on him, applying a chokehold and covering the man's mouth.

"Alert the others and the only plane you shall walk will be that of the dead." He uncovered the man's mouth and eased his grip on his throat slightly, to allow him to speak. The man didn't scream.

"He who guides you, where might he reside?"

The gangbanger whimpered softly, whispering "o-our leader? He's n-not here, he's probably at our HQ in town."

"Where does he make his nest of lies and vices?"

"I-in an a-abandoned mall in Chinatown... Please... D-don't hurt me..."

"Won't. Will just knock you out." The Question tightened his grip on the man's throat. He squirmed a bit, before going limp in his arms.

"Yo Eric, what's the hold up?" one of the filthy degenerates called out. Question scrambled away from the unconscious man, heading out the door. He was gone before they could notice him, walking down the road into the den of scum he called home.

As he returned to the Hub the chi flowed through him, welcoming him home, congratulating him on a job well done. "Do not give your gratitude to me yet, oh wretched hive of whores and booze," he stated, "for I have yet to end this odyssey into the motherland of the scum."

He continued his hunt, purpose in his step.

Heroes Reborn: Year Six (OPEN)

11:02 PM; January 1st, 2026
Upper East Side; Gotham City, New Jersey
'Never lose control. Never lose control. Never lose control.'
"Listen to me, Kasimir! We need to know about the numbers! What do they mean?"

David kept himself focused on the road ahead, constantly listening to Hood's chattering on about how easy it would be to run someone over, or to blow up that building over there, or even to just hop off the bike and tear a person in half. 'Come on, Dave, we're strong enough to do it...' The whispers went unanswered, and David closed his eyes in order to clear his mind.

And then Dave took a wrench to the chest.

(Recommended Listening)

Falling off his bike, which went skidding into a nearby laundromat, David groaned in pain. He clutched at his chest; a rib was probably cracked, if not broken. He pulled himself to his feet, grunting in pain, and looking around for whoever the hell just threw that at him so he could... He could... 'So you can what, Dave?'

'Shut up.'

He looked around for the person who threw the wrench at him, fighting back a snarl. And it was then that he noticed the people fighting in the streets. Angels against the civilians of Gotham. The Angels were winning. As his eyes scanned over the scene, David turned to a nearby store which had a mural painted on it. The mural presented the woman who made him come back to Gotham in the first place...

Anarkee.

David's eyes widened. Within his mind, Hood screamed bloody rage, calling for her death.

'DAVID'

'YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO'

'L҉҉̡E̢͟͠͝T̵̴̢́ ̨͘͢M̸̀̕͏E͏͘͢͡ ̨҉̀͘Ó̸̵̸́Ù̀͘͝T̛̀̀'

A gunshot echoed throughout the streets, hitting the forehead of the mural dead center. Red Hood grinned, eyes brimming with barely contained rage.

"Come one, come all! Fill your guts with my lead!" Twisting around, Hood fired a round off at an Angel who was crouched on top of a civilian and beating his head in with a plank of wood. The Angel collapsed on top of his victim, and Hood holstered his pistol and rushed into the fray. Grabbing onto a nearby Angel, he stared into the man's eyes, before sticking his thumbs into them and slowly peeling the man's head in two. Mentally, Hood mused that he felt sorry for the poor bastard who'd have to clean this up. Because things were about to get messy.

Grabbing the baseball bat from the Angel's hands, Hood ran forward and swung it upwards into another's crotch, breaking the wooden bat in half in the process. Hood took a look at the sharp, splintered wood, before burying it into the Angel's throat. Tossing the dying gangster away carelessly, he pulled his gun back out, and took aim at an Angel.

*BLAM!*

The round flew true, nailing the Angel in the heart. Hearing running footsteps behind him, Hood spun around and fired off a few rounds, the gang member falling just short of her target. Hood kind of wished he had gotten Dave to bring their whole arsenal along with them, but maaaaaybe it was a little suspicious. Ah, fuck him, Hood'll just have to bring all the guns along next time.

Gunning down a few more Angels, Hood began to reload, and shouted to the civilians who weren't currently being beaten to death: "Hey, you guys might want to leave! It's about to get really nasty!" Thankfully, they took heed, and the civvies began to ran. The Angels finished up with their victims, and began to surround him. Hood gave a mockingly impressed whistle. "Phew. There's, what, thirty of you guys? Man, this isn't even fair. You'd need thirty more to pose any real threat."

That did it.

The Angels rushed forward from all sides, giving a cry of rage.

"AN-"

'Oh man... This is gonna be sick.'

Hood did a quick scan. Ten, coming in from all directions. The pistol only had an 8 round capacity. He really should've sprung for the Glock, or even the Five-SeveN. Well, he'd have to make due.

Holding the pistol outward, Hood began to spin and fire.

"-AR-"

He took down eight, before spinning around to face one of the two chargers left alive. He slammed the barrel of the pistol into the man's eyesocket, and used it as a sort of handle to swing him around into the other one.

"-CHY! ... Wait, huh?"

The battle cry of the Angels came to a halt as they noticed that ten of their numbers had been taken out in a matter of seconds.

Hood cracked his neck, giving a small chuckle. "Alright... Who's next?"

The Angels' response to that was to run away. Hood decided to give them a five second head start.

=====
4:56 AM; January 2nd, 2026
David's Apartment; Gotham City, New Jersey

David awoke with a start. The lights in his home were off, and he couldn't see anything. Pulling himself up, he winced slightly at the sharp pain in his chest, before taking a deep breath and releasing it. He wandered over to the light switch to flick it on, only to find that it already was flipped on. "Bulb must need replacing... Shit..." He wandered into the bathroom and flipped the light on in there. Nothing.

"What the...?" He looked down, finding himself to be in full clothing... And soaked in blood. "... Oh fuck."

'Wew, man, I had the time of my life earlier. You should've seen it.'

"What the fuck did you do?"

'There were bad guys. I took care of them.'

"What... What is wrong with you!? You can't just kill people!"

'Uh, yeah, I can.'

"The next time this happens, I'll..."

'You'll what? Stop being a pussy and actually kill yourself to stop me?'

"Fuck. You."

'You do that every night, buddy.'

Taking in a deep breath, David shook his head and got out of his clothes. Heading into the bathroom, he started up the tub and plugged it, before dropping the clothes in there and spraying some body wash into it. It wouldn't do much, but it'd be good enough. Once the power was back on, he'd have to do laundry.

He pinched his nose and sighed in frustration. "... Fuck my life."