Recent Statuses

5 mos ago
Current The world is full of obvious things.
8 mos ago
"There's a certain nobility in lying in bed all day and pretending like things aren't the way they are."
1 yr ago
The world is full of obvious things.
4 yrs ago
I want to see things - that no one else can see


Current GM of World of Light. When it comes to writing, there's nothing I love more than imagination, engagement, and commitment. I'm always open to talk, suggestion, criticism, and collaboration. While I try to be as obliging, helpful, and courteous as possible, I have very little sympathy for ghosts, and anyone who'd like to string me along. Straightforwardness is all I ask for.

Looking for more personal details? I'm just some dude from the American south; software development is my job but games, writing, and helping others enjoy life are great joys. Been RPing for over a decade, so I know a thing or two, though I won't pretend to be an expert. Ready for some fun? Let's make something spectacular together.

Like my words? Maybe you'll like my pictures. I'm pretty new, but I hear the exchange rate's good.

Most Recent Posts

Sorry for the extra late post but I think I finally got her done. Lemme know if I need to change anything.

Seems good to me! So you know, your first image is broken. Taking out everything after the .png in the image url will fix it. Go ahead and put her in Characters and I'll PM you about a starting point.
Hey! Was wondering if you guys wouldn't mind having a new player?

I'm always happy for new players! We've certainly got the space, so I'll look forward to what you come up with.
No worries, sometimes life just throws you a curveball.

I'd be down to have Mae join up and interact with anyone else on the way to the meeting.
Tora & Poppi

Level 8 Tora (63/80) and Level 8 Poppi (36/80)
Location: Sandswept Sky - Sweet Canyon
Primrose's @Yankee, Fox's @Dawnrider, Sectonia's @Archmage MC Midna's @DracoLunaris, Yoshitsune's @Rockin Strings
Word Count: 1679

Assorted feet pounded across the metal and wood of the railroad as the heroes made a run for it. Harried as they were, their retreat was sloppy, with some members lagging behind as others ran ahead. Unable to withstand the fliers’ shots, Necronomicon veered away from the battle with promises of reuniting up ahead, with Scout still along for the ride. Even after the Heavy was saved by Midna, retreat proved to be the farthest thing from the his mind, and he burned through his ammunition raining gunfire down on his enemies in a wild rage. Though Braum wanted to teach the monsters a thing or two as much as his burly friend, the big-hearted defender knew discretion to be the better part of valor at times, and fought to pull the Heavy along with the others. If not for Primrose’s Panther Dance, the two might not have made it out in time after all, for Poppi’s ice did not hold the Molduga for long.

Still, Sectonia took the chance while the creature was frozen to send out a parting shot in the form of a light right. It landed a clean hit, slicing across the beast’s unpleasant face and hide with a wide slash. Yoshitsune’s attempt to take advantage of the situation proved less successful, however, as his katanas bounced off the Molduga’s ice-crusted hide with a worrying clakk and jarring wobble that dealt more damage to his own hands than to the monster. At the very least he was able to make a clean getaway with his wheels before the Molduga burst from its frozen prison and began its pursuit.

It quickly began to gain ground on the fleeing procession of heroes. Barreling through the sand, it closed in on the vanguard formed by Midna, Primrose, Heavy, and Braum. A moment after the Freljord native turned back to look, another Trawler leaped from the sand toward Primrose. In a flash he stood in front of her and the creature bounced off his shield. With a might punch he sent it soaring, then faced the encroaching beast. “If ice can slow it down, I’ll give it a taste of my own! Rrrrrrah!” He punched the back of his shield, sending out a freezing orb that struck the Molduga in the face as it cruised beside the tracks. It slowed down just enough for him to breath deep, gather his strength, and release his ultimate technique. “Glacial...Fissure!” When he slammed his shield down, a freezing wave rolled across the surface of the sand in a line. Icy spikes burst up beneath the Molduga, sending it rolling. Laughing, Braum ran after the others. “That’ll last us little while longer, at least! How close are we?” he shouted up to the front of the line.

“It’s coming up ahead!” Skull, the fastest runner, shouted back. Sure enough, an island in the sugary sand sea was becoming visible through the night. Unfortunately, the frontrunners weren’t without their own share or problems. Despite Poppi and Sectonia’s air support the fliers kept coming, sending down not just their projectile orbs but beeping grenades as well. Those with red lights exploded into burning patches of fire on the tracks and the desert’s surface, while the blinking white Discombobulators detonated with concussive force. When the first one went off it threw Tora, Mona, and Skull clean from the tracks, screaming at assorted octaves. “The heeeeeeeeeeeeell!” the boy yelled, flailing his arms. “Kidd! Persona! Whatever! GET OUT HERE!”

As he hit the sand the skeletal captain and his ship appeared, but when he tried to pull himself up he found that he could not. Struggling against the sand, he saw Mona get snatched and reeled in by Joker’s grappling hook, while Poppi dove down to save her Masterpon who lodged head-first in the murky earth. Just when he thought he might be out of luck at last Panther extended her whip for him to grab hold of, but even with the added strength of her Lamia side she couldn’t pull him in. “Grrrrrrrrrr…” she growled, tugging with all her strength but only barely able to keep from falling in herself. “You’re...stuck!”

When Poppi placed Tora down beside her, however, the Nopon flapped his wings in inspired excitement. “Poppi, quick!” he cried. “Switch to Alpha, use superstrength!” The artificial blade quickly complied, shrugging off the projectiles that struck her with her new armor, and with her help Panther finally wrenched Skull free from the sucking sand.

With a yell he hurtled her way, prompting her eyes to go wide. “Whoa, hey! Watch it!” she yelled, but Skull couldn’t exactly change directions midair. Only barely did she manage to catch him without tumbling backward into the sand on the other side of the tracks herself.

He grinned. “Ooh, my hero!”

Panther dropped him as a fire grenade landed between their feet, and they took off running. With the disruption at the front Yellow Team was back together again, and not too far away from safety, either. Around the heroes the sand just kept getting goopier, quickly leaving the realm of quicksand and devolving to straight syrup. As the ground’s consistency changed the Trawlers retreated, but the robots swarmed thicker if anything. A column of Small and [url=http://]Medium[/url] desert robots with cloaks and masks ran out along the tracks from the island to meet them in the middle. Skull bashed the first Small right into the sap with one swing from his pipe, then ducked to allow Zorro to blow another handful off with a whirlwind. “My magic’s running low, and I’m out of ammo!” the cat warned as he looked back. The Molduga was gaining on the group again, forging onward through the syrup where the Trawlers turned back. He tapped Tora on the shoulder. “Remember what we talked about on the camel? I think it’s time!”

The Nopon’s eyes lit up. “Meh-meh? Showtime?!”

“You bet! Stand back, everyone!” Mona jumped forward, transforming into a car, and onto the hood leaped Tora with his shield equipped. Still in her Alpha form, Poppi sprawled on top, channeling ether into the weapon. With the press of a button the shield’s drill bit extended. A blazing light glowed within the thrusters of both blade and shield. Together, the thief and the inventor called out. “Super Sidekick Charge!

In a burst of the flame the rockets ignited and the Morgana-car launched forward, plowing through every robot in the way with the help of the front-mounted drill. Mangled machine parts scattered across and sank into the syrup, leaving the tracks clear for the rest of the heroes. The railroad led into a tunnel in the cakelike edge of the island, and the trio disappeared inside, leaving the rest to catch up. With a final burst of speed the heroes reached the tunnel just in time for the Molduga to get stuck in the entrance, throwing the inside into darkness. It snapped and snarled but couldn’t squeeze any further, nor do much of anything but block the way back unless dealt with.

Moonlight in the distance suggested that the other exit wasn’t far. There was no sign of robots, so the heroes could catch their ragged breath as they proceeded through the tunnel, stepping over the ruined remains of more desert machines. A minute later they emerged into the night air of a bizarre landscape.

The moon and stars illuminated a world of desserts. They stood in an open-air train station of gingerbread and waffle cone, on the floor of which Poppi stood over a panting Tora and Mona, but beyond its perimeter lay a landscape of chocolate dirt, taffy grass, icing snow, sugar-frosted leaves, lollipop trees, protruding donuts, macaron boulders, and licorice saplings. Panther’s eyes practically sparkled as she stared around in wonderment. “Whoaaa...this must be what heaven is like! But…” She sank to her knees, exhausted. “If I tried to eat after all that running, I’ll probably puke.”

Skull patted her on the shoulder. “Aw well, it’s probably got bugs in it, anyways.”

Revulsion took over the girl’s face. “Why would you say that?”

“Well, look at ‘em!” her friend pointed.

Sure enough, there were bugs around, or snacks, or perhaps some eldritch conglomerate of the two. Poppi’s optics picked up popsicle beetles, fiery-tailed fireflies made from smores, cookie spiders, cinammon roll snails, confectionary ants, and walking sundaes. Bugs weren’t all she saw, though. She spotted an odd creature of berry andcream, and even a candy snake she mistook for a candy cane until it jerked alvie to snap up a hapless bug. “This defy all logic. More than usual, anyway,” she deadpanned.

“Tora stuff self silly when can stand, bugs or not!” the Nopon announced with what little breath he could muster.

Poppi, however, kept on her guard. She could see a few of the machines as well, although they had yet to acknowledge the newcomers. Keeping one eye on them, she took a more critical look around. The track continued out of the station heading north, but what appeared to be a flan-colored path led up into nearby hills. Furrowing her brow, Poppi tuned her audio sensors. “Poppi think Poppi hears voice from direction of path.” She pointed her armored gauntlet. “Sound like request for help. Tone indicates distress.”

Joker considered his options. Though their path led onward, most everyone was tired after their long run and heavy sprint. The Thieves needed to recuperate their magic, but more than that they needed sleep. But this island of didn’t offer the heroes a warm welcome, especially considering that the robots they fought seemed to be camped here. Mona and Tora’s stunt had done nothing to the fliers, yet they were nowhere to be found. If someone needed help, whoever it was might be able to offer some kind of refuge in return, or at least local knowledge. The machines might warrant further investigation, or the wildlife, or the island itself, in search of treasure. Remembering his pledge of cooperation, the Phantom Thief beckoned Fox over and spoke with him in low tones, outlining his thoughts.

Ms Fortune

Level 3 Nadia (3/30)
Location: Limsa Lominscuttle Town – The Drowning Wench
Blazermate's @Archmage MC, Bowser's @DracoLunaris, Ace Cadet's @Yankee, Hat Kid's @Dawnrider, Frog's @Dark Cloud
Word Count: 1988

As Nadia leisurely sauntered along in the general direction of the unusual stadium, denying no chance to take a look at whatever caught her eye along the way, she became aware of a familiar noise from behind her. Her keen ears quickly identified the sound of boosting thrusters, so while Blazermate’s sudden descent from the night sky took a few bystanders by surprise, Nadia welcomed her with a wave and a smile. “Heya yourself, my robotic fur-iend! Can’t guarantee I’ll be wanderin’ around all night, but as long as I’m up I’m happy to have nya.” She jabbed a thumb to indicate her objective, as if anyone could miss the strange building that towered about this entire stretch of wharf town. “Betcha wanna see it too, right? Let’s check it out!”

A few minutes later Nadia and Blazermate passed through a brief gauntlet of snack vendors and entered the unknown stadium. Spurred to excitement by the roar of the crowd and the booming voice of an announcer, whose words she couldn’t quite parse, the feral led the way. She raced through halls and up staircases, pausing only when she emerged into stadium seating and was greeted by the baffling sight of a wall of water. When Nadia dashed up to and set her hands on the railing, however, she couldn’t stifle a gasp of awe.


The building formed a high-rising ring around a great basin, but well above its bottom floated an enormous orb of water, suspended by some sort of magic or mystic art. Inside the gigantic orb Nadia spotted a number of players swimming with furious strength and speed, whose uniforms separated them into two teams. The scene was one of such action that it took a minute for her to even spot the ball after which every player chased, and for which they grappled, tackled, and kicked. As she watched she saw a blue-haired mermaid snatch the ball mid-pass, intercepting it from the enemy team, and speed toward a triangular goal at one end of the orb. Two players -a blue octopus and a surly-looking shark, moved to stop her, but she deftly dodged one while an allied diver tackled the other. With a big smile the mermaid slapped the ball with her tail, sending it flying toward the goal. Its tender, a different fish woman, lunged to intercept the ball but missed. A loud horn rang out across the stadium, and the scoreboard floating above the watery arena changed to read 6-1.

“Good golly, what a grrrrrrreat play!” The bearded announcer yelled into his mic from his box. “Thanks to our very own Half-Genie Hero, the Limsa Goers continue to solidify their lead! I tell ya folks, in all me years aboard the Sea Minus I’ve never seen comedians like these Los Santos Tiburones--we’ll be laughin’ ‘til sunup if this goes on!”

Having such a ridiculously biased announcer got Nadia laughing as well. She waved to Blazermate. “C’mon, let’s sit down somewhere, this is clawsome!” Slinking past a worried-looking guy who seemed to be waiting for something -maybe for his team to make a comeback?- she looked for a couple seats. To her surprise she spotted Inigo sitting with a pretty girl in a sporty outfit. He got a date after all, huh? It was a far cry from a relaxing cup of tea, but while Inigo looked out of his element he at least seemed happy that his companion was happy. Nadia chose a spot out of his field of view and plopped down a seat away from a hat-wearing man in green, who appeared to have filled the seat to his right with an amount of fast food takeout that would have surprised even Bowser. Thinking nothing of it Nadia fixed her eyes on the game, absorbing every detail from this cultural phenomenon that she could. She found herself inspired by the way the players managed to break out of even the most dire-looking situations, and happened to remember a way that she could escape rough spots, herself.

The game moved quickly, with seldom a dull moment. For all their efforts the Tiburones couldn’t seem to make any headway, as the joking announcer Captain Chuck only too gladly pointed out. In the end, the Tiburones got -as the fellow by Nadia put it- ‘smoked, scoring only three points’. Although she didn’t really understand the rules, the feral enjoyed it so much that she stayed for the next game as well, listening to and chatting with the people around her, Blazermate included. When the Blitzball stadium finally closed for the night, Nadia wearily retraced her steps to the central seastack tower and the Mizzenmast Inn, where she passed out instantly.

A New Day has Dawned

Having slept like the dead, Nadia awoke to shouting from the Mizzenmast hall. “Alright, come on, Seekers!” Peach’s voice insisted. “You’ve had time to get ready, so get your ah...butts in gear! This is the last call, the Navy is casting off in thirty minutes!” With a stretch and a yawn Nadia turned over in her wonderfully comfortable sheets, settling down in a fresh position. Then her eyes popped open as wide as saucers, and her ears stood on end. “What!?” she blurted out, shocked, and launched from her bed in jets of blood. She hit the wall with a thump and scrambled to her feet, holding her head. “Owwwww…” Her eyes settled on the bloodstained, disheveled bed and she grimaced. “Dammit, that’s...they’re gonna freak.” She blinked twice, thoughtful. “Freak. Furr-eak. Not bad. Wait no, I’ve been usin’ ‘fur’ too often...ugh...” Shaking her head, she tried to concentrate and put her thoughts in order. “So. I slept clean through the first call. Thirty minutes. Half an hour. Okay, I’ll just clean up, grab some eggs or something. Find the boats. No sweat.” She took a groggy step and slipped on her own pillow, falling in a heap. “Guh…” she groaned. “No...sweat.”

Twenty-five minutes later she slid to a stop on the white stones of Limsa’s finest harbor, a half-eaten hash brown clutched between her teeth, still wearing the Mizzenmast’s signature bathrobe. This time there could be no mistaking it: she had arrived. With a muffled sigh of relief the feral jogged down the jetty to where the towering form of Bowser indicated the Seekers’ presence. By them the Admiral’s magnificent ship, Jackdaw, was moored, along with two smaller ships. Along the way she ducked, dived, dipped, and dodged to avoid the rigging of the shipgirls, because the place was packed with them. Without knowing any better Nadia could only assume that the entirety of the Navy had assembled here for this offensive; there were more women here than she’d ever seen in her entire life. To say that they represented all shapes and sizes would be to lie, for despite their varied outfits, hair colors, and accessories there appeared to be a certain uncanny uniformity at work, but Nadia noticed both some very big -almost jaw droppingly so, in some cases- and very small. Are those KIDS!? More than a little weirded out, Nadia hurried on her way.

Still, she couldn’t shut out the ships’ excited chatter, and one thing she heard made her stop in her tracks. She turned her ears to the speaker’s voice without looking at her, shutting everything else out.

“Did you hear about the murder? No I mean, the new news. Well, I heard who it was, even if the brass won’t release the name. It was Miss Scharnhorst. Yeah, with the eyepatch! She was on her way to a party with her little sister. A guy found a bottle of wine in an alley by his house with some ashes. He told Shantae -he’s her friend or something- and she alerted the guard. Meanwhile, Scharnhorst never arrived at her little sister’s party, so she went out looking for her. Right, Gneisenau. Dewey said she heard her crying up a storm. What, don’t look at me like that! I know it’s awful! I’m just spreading the news. Listen, whoever did it, Shantae’s gonna find them, and she’ll make them pay. There was some kind of disturbance over in Housing last night, with some folks describing a woman with an eyepatch and long hair. Shantae went over this morning to talk with the lady who runs the district. Of course my source was good…”

Nadia ran over the rumors in her mind as she continued toward the heroes, munching her hash brown with a deep frown. If all that was true and a girl got killed last night, it had to have something to do with the Seekers’ arrival. And witnessing someone with the slain girl’s likeness afterward smacked of spirit absorption. Nadia joined her allies at the end of the jetty, where she was surprised to find that one of the smaller ships was alive and the other was actually an airship, floating above the surface of the water. Despite the bad news Nadia couldn’t help but marvel a little, though she snapped herself out of it quickly enough. Peach greeted her with a raised eyebrow, prompting her to shrug helplessly. She needed to get her head in the game. Limsa matters should be left to Limsa authorities, while she and the other heroes had bigger fish to fry. Still, as Nadia looked over the gathered heroes, she couldn’t help but feel as if not everyone was accounted for.

Peach turned back to the shipgirl beside her, a splendidly dressed blonde decked out in the finery of a fleet commander. “And one more thing,” she asked. “Are those really children who’re coming to fight with us? How is that admissible?”

George V sighed. “You’ve touched upon quite the controversial topic. While ships don’t experience life cycles like normal people, the Admiral is quite adamant about young ships staying out of the fight, despite their fighting ability. As such they form a sort of reserve force that will defend the city itself should worst come to worst. They won’t be casting off with us.”

Peach didn’t exactly look pleased. “Your home world must be a bizarre one.”


It was then that Admiral Merlwyb stepped onto the prow of her ship, a megaphone in her hand. “Warriors of Limsa Lominsa!” she boomed, bringing the entire throng of shipgirls to an attentive standstill. “Long have we been trapped in the cruel grip of an unending war against the Abyssal Fleeting, fighting to keep our people, our very way of life, safe. Long have we fought with no end in sight. But that ends today!” The ships cheered until Merlwyb’s voice cut through their clamour once again. With one hand she indicated the team of heroes. “With the help of these newcomers, the Seekers of Light, we have a way to stop our enemy’s endless regeneration. Our From now on our armor division will trawl the battlefield for the spirits of our foes, seizing them to turn to our advantage! So today we will launch our own invasion. We will sail into Abyssal-controlled waters, sink their patrols, smash through their standing armies, and obliterate their forward bases.” Whispers began to drift through the ranks, but Merlwyb continued. “That’s right, you lily-livered shrimps! Today we’re bringing the hammer down on Midway Island and Kwolok Harbour. By the time our fair city’s clock tolls noon, the Midway and Harbour Princesses we’ve suffered so long will be nothing more than bad memories!”

The doubts of the ships gave way to more cheers, and Merlwyb raised a pistol into the air. “Now then, you scurvy dogs, you scallywags, you bilge rats. It’s time to take back the seas for our people. To WAR!” The report of her firearm sent the harbor into a frenzy of activity. Shipgirls cast off into the ocean blue in waves, and the. Feeling inspired herself, Nadia turned toward the three more conventional ships, ready to board whichever her leadership assigned her to.

Western Coast – La Noscea


Since the two gates to the Limsa Housing District both featured an accompaniment of guards would we be all too interested in an unfamiliar shipgirl in this part of town at night, leaving the place meant getting over the surrounding walls, but even with the extra weight of her rigging Sephiroth found no trouble there. Of course, the moment she landed she could see that, compared to the well-kept streets and comfortable lights of the town, the area outside was an altogether different beast. It got rather dark quite fast, although thanks to the lights of the City, the moon, and even Galeem, visibility was far better than it might have been. With the city and its dangers at Sephiroth’s back she could set off into the unknown.

Of course, the going wasn’t easy, albeit less because she found any problem with the moist, grassy hills before her and more with the conflict raging inside her head. A pronounced part of her hated the idea of running away like this, instead urging the long-haired swordfighter to return and face her troubles head-on. An ingrained sense of duty to the Navy of the seastack city tugged at her alongside a familial bond to her sister, inspiring the guilt of desertion and abandonment. As difficult to suppress were the images that sprang unbidden and danced in her head of a certain blonde swordsman she was leaving behind, thanks to another part of her. All this culminated in gripping feelings of self-loathing and betrayal, making each step further and further into the night a chore, if not an agony. But Sephiroth was strong; Sephiroth was superior. Through sheer force of will she pushed on and on, until at long last the steady weakening of those nagging voices gave way to relief.

As the clouds across her mind finally lessened, she could compose herself and take stock of her surroundings. Like a traveler blindly forging onward through a blizzard, she had been blindly trudging for some time with no sense of direction, and her trek had led her to the edge of a large marshland. It seemed to extend both north and south as far as she could see in the gloom. Mangrove trees littered the marsh in small groves, the dubious shapes of their twisted roots and branches easy to mistake for the limbs and legs of unknown enemies. Will-o-wisps floating between the long grasses and reeds provided an eerie and intermittent light, and in their glow Sephiroth could see she was hardly the only living thing here.

Above the murky swamp waters floated strange creatures the size of shoeboxes, like cuttlefish with big, soft eyes and elephantine trunks, playing in small groups of two and three. Oddly triplicate bees buzzed amid the underbrush, attending sleepily to the flowers that bloomed at night, and as Sephiroth watched a huge frog rose from the mare to strike one of the careless insects with a tongue coated in bluish fluid. The bee twisted free but got only a couple feet before it sank, sedated into the water for easy collection and crunching by the engorged amphibian.

There were also mosquitoes, with which Sephiroth’s newly altered, showier outfit did not help. Most were too small to clearly see, let alone attack, but thanks to a maddening whine she could make out a couple far larger specimens, only too eager to pay the blood-filled woman a visit. A quick examination suggested a greater concentration of mosquitoes to the north, where mists curled among the increasingly tall trees, while more bees bumbled through the willows to the south.
@Lugubrious If she does a little bit of damage to enemies, she gets a little bit of healing back. It's relative to her own health, not the health of her enemies. So if she steps on a bug or something and totally kills it, she won't get anything back. But in the game if you walk up to a bad guy and he's hitting her with bullets and she's shooting him with bullets, she can kind of match that DPS with her healing per second. And the crystals drop on the ground where the bad guy gets hit, so she has to walk over and get within a few feet in order to get the healing benefits.

Okay let me try to sum it up instead of being dumb. If she shoots a dude with a bullet, the amount of healing dropped will be a little less than the damage of the bullet she fired.

Got it, in that case it's good. Approved!
@Lugubrious Ok! I made the changes. Re-worded her resistance to pyschic attack and added some in-world bio stuff.

About her pyschic power resistant, I just didn't want to qualify it too much. Her mental power is her defining feature in the game. It's literally how she uses and does everything. Even her gun. But yeah "most", for sure, obviously there's Galeem.

If she's accepted, should I start posting as her soon, like a solo bit, or just wait until she gets almost reached?

Edit: Um, oops, Jesse's first power, Health Elements, was incomplete. I made some kind of mistake, I don't know what. So you'll need to read that again, sorry.

I see. Regarding the health restoration, obviously there's no bar, but since you mentioned a bar does that mean that she can get a full heal off any instance of damage done to enemies?
Looks pretty good, though I have two notes. One is optional, which is mentioning Galeem somewhere in her bio. You could also at the very list hint at the elements we discussed for her in-world backstory, without mentioning specific nouns. The other thing is that Choose to Be Chosen can't be an absolute blanket immunity against mental effects. She is not without Galeem's influence, after all, and if she were to come into contact with an enemy many times stronger than her with mental powers, it's not guaranteed she'll be exempt. This can be handled just by adding 'most' before 'attacks on her mind'.
@Lugubrious Thanks Lug, I was worried I was slacking and afraid I was disappointing you.

No problem. Your commitment so far has been laudable. There's nothing for anyone who posts at least once a week to be afraid of.
I'll be posting today, sorry for the wait.

No worries! It's still the same cycle after all, so you're not behind or anything.

As for Conker, no need to stress about that, either. This Sunday I'll be passing the night in Limsa and we will begin with the new morning. There area where he will appear is a ways up the coast, so there's still some time.
For the first time in many moons, the kitchens of the Gorging Trough raged with activity. One command had cut through its idleness to its monstrous overseer, effective immediately: she and her staff were to empty the larders like there was no tomorrow, liquidating everything that remained of their foodstuff reserves to make a grand farewell feast of such extravagance that even the most gluttonous kind in the realm would blanch in astonishment. Dutifully the ladies of the Trough leaped from their long idleness, with the ghastly Canology Mae and her vast skills leading the charge. Soon the flames of the grills and ovens roared, and the air filled with the sounds of boiling water, frying oil, and chopping ingredients.

But as time went on, and the finished dishes piled up on the immaculate tables of the Gorging Trough dining hall, not a soul appeared. No Supreme Beings arrived to sample the arrayed delicacies, nor did any of the guild minions who required sustenance. Not even the vaunted Sugi the Hammer, creator of the restaurant and its loathsome master, made an appearance. Though he dropped by in the guild's final hours to say some farewells and use what remained to him, the great warrior did not stay for long. Yet the kitchen workers toiled on nonetheless, mindlessly obeying their commands. Their labor did not slacken even as tremors began to shake the immense restaurant, rattling the utensils and shattering dishes. Meals flew from their tables to splat and scatter across the floors and furniture, creating a horrific mess. Before long the quaking grew so severe that the Maneaters lost their footing and rolled around amongst the loose debris themselves. Flames spread from the smashed-in ovens, racing across wooden furnishings and flammable ingredients alike. In a matter of moments the once pristine kitchens and halls of the Gorging Trough descended into unmitigated disaster, a filthy, burning nightmare.

Only toward the end, however, did the last chef standing seem to find it in her to scream. Mae let loose a long, low yell of utter despair, fallen to her knees in the middle of the utter chaos, until the factory settled in a final crash and sent her sprawling. With great effort the headless cook hauled herself to her feet, turning this way and that as her blindsight swept across the unmitigated carnage. “How!?” she wailed, a guttural voice resounding from the blackness within her head-bundle. She rifled her fingers through the remains of a pot pie smashed together with a chocolate mousse, letting the muck dribble miserably through her sausage-like fingers. “How could this be!?”

All around her, the Maneaters were beginning to stir. With varying degrees of dignity they extracted themselves from the wreckage, some helping others who found themselves more entrapped. Putting aside the crushing feeling of defeat for a moment, Mae moved to help the duo, Shank and Flank, who seemed to be failing to extract the corpulent Round from where she'd been lodged beneath a debris-piled table. “Stop pullin'” the blonde wailed. “Y'all're gonna pull my hands clean off 'fore I slip outta here!”

“Well, what else are we going?” Shank questioned her, exasperated. “We're not exactly powerhouses here. You could always just go Jubilant and- oh, Mae! I mean, uh, chef. Give us a hand, will you?”

With a grunt Mae strined to lift the table, allowing Round to squeeze out with a yelp. She let it fall with a loud clatter, then reached down to help the Maneater to her feet. “You alright?”

The cook nodded, wiping at her forehead with the back of her hand. “Whoo-ie! Thought I was a goner for sure there, ma'am. Mighty thankful for ya.”

Without a head Mae couldn't nod, but she laid a companionable hand on her underling's shoulder in reply. Her senses lay on the crackling flame, steadily devouring the ruined feast so lovingly prepared for. The Maneaters had gathered close by, every one of them from the peppy Roast to the cruel Tongue watching their everything coming down around them with numbed horror. It was time to go. “Don't mention it! But we've gotta get out of here.”

Her right hand man appeared before her. With shaking hands Head removed the clumsily-lit cigar from his mouth to give his report. “Everyone is accounted for, ma'am. Things are bad in the dining hall, but it's not on fire yet, and we can climb out through the collapsed ceiling.” The air was filling with smoke, and not the kind he liked, either. “Best hurry, ma'am.”

Tender was already weeping. “But what about the Trough...?” she sniffed, her lip quivering.

“It's done for,” Mae declared, accepting the face herself. “But as long as I've got you all, we can rebuild. So let's get going.”

The whole group got moving, fleeing the devastated kitchens to the dining hall. Sure enough, the room had partially caved in, with a huge slab of ceiling laid out like a crude ramp. Shank and Roast took the first tentative steps onto it, then raced to the top one after another. Head followed, clambering stiffly up onto the roof. When Chuck stepped onto it, however, the weakened material gave way, dropping to the floor with a loud slam and plume of dust. Tongue sneered at her long-eared coworker. “And here I thought you took so much pride in being one of the thinner ones.”

Afflicted by the stress of the situation, Chuck snapped back. “Like it would have lasted one second under your blood-sucking ass!”

“ENOUGH!” Before the situation could spiral totally out of control, Mae put her foot down. She summoned her fleshhooks and clanged them together, seizing her assistants' attention. With all eyes on her she point down the main hallway. “Follow me! I'll bull though anything in our way, just wait and see.” She summoned her fleshhooks as she turned, and stomped down the hallway like a woman on a mission. Giving vent to her fury, she smashed through fallen beams and broken furniture, scattered burning debris, and finally burst through the door and into open space. Mae drank deeply of the clean mountain air as she looked around, finding nothing familiar in sight save the hideously damaged wrecks of her fellow overseers' factories. Whatever happened to the guild, it had resulting in complete and total annihilation. But for all her vigilance, she spotted no enemies.

As she looked around, she felt the call of the Emergency Signal. It was time to gather with the other survivors. Good. Time to figure out what happened to us. The fact that a meeting could be had at all proved that at least one Supreme Being remained. Within her swelled an overriding desire to see the face of Lord Sugi once more, and be reassured by the magnificence of his presence. If this calamity so much as scratched him, she would be surprised.

She turned to find the Maneaters congregating a safe distance from the destruction, and Head in his Jubiliant form getting himself, Roast, and Shank down from the roof. “Watch out for any enemies,” she told them. “I have a meeting to attend.” With that she lumbered off, fleshhooks still in hand, to answer the summons of Faetalis.
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