Welp, before this all breaks down into gifs and eventually memes, figure I'll throw my thoughts in here. This is also a chance to actually do something rather than endlessly bump my 1x1 thread, and otherwise lurk silently.
Right, so to probably rehash everything that's been said after I skimmed through thread while paying half attention, frankly I don't really care about my partners' real life gender. Nada, as what's been said it isn't like we're on a dating site, ya know? So what does it matter to me? If the RP is going well and everyone is happy, well... hurray! Sure, we're not here to date, but I can easily see a romantic relationship popping up, then genders matter in that case, yet that's the case for really any actual relationship, so its a no brainer then.
That said I'll admit that I sometimes get that sort of response of "Oh shit, he's a dude and I'm a dude, yet romance/smut/romance&smut is happening in the RP!" Then I basically talk to myself by asking "And?" Sure I have these kind thoughts time to time, but its a gut reaction more than anything, in reality I don't care. To this end I can understand those that truly do care, although only to a point.
I'll also say there have been numerous times when I've looked at a thread that was very promising only to find that I'm not the right gender in real life. It sucks, we both get to miss out on a potentially fun RP that will never be, and perhaps I could proceed by never bringing my gender up, I just don't want to do it, partly because I like to learn more about my partners, so that won't ever work out. In the end, we both lose, oh well, however I don't want to deal with any drama, and its a matter of respecting the other person's wishes.
Also wanted to address you directly because I feel... obligated I guess? No idea if that's the right word, but that's what I'm sticking with. So yeah, I respect you greatly and your posts are always a joy to read, you're one of my all time favorite RP partners without a doubt, however in this situation I don't fully agree with you. You know what? Yeah I agree that it is illogical to care about a partner's real life gender, and the limitation on potential RPs is a undeniable negative, I hope I've made both of those thought clear so far. I also think its too closed minded to declare someone's desire to RP with a specific gender is wholly based in sexism, or to engage in slimy behavior.
Yes, those are definitely reasons that exist, however I personally put more weight to the comfort argument. I mean you know that I put comfort before everything else in roleplaying. I WANT
to make sure everyone involved is comfortable and happy, then everything else is secondary. Long as someone isn't on a crusade of sorts to enforce their will, telling people that "No, you can't RP a heterosexual relationship if both people writing are the same gender." that they truly fixated on generally being a shitty human being like that, but if instead its a personal decision they made that only applies to themselves, then that's okay.
Now, I honestly cannot come up with anything to counter your argument of discrimination, like to say no to someone of a certain color isn't okay, absolutely not. Along those lines, being closed off to RPing with a person of a certain gender is like any other determination, however to a different degree I feel in this particular case. There is no malice (Usually) when someone declares this, again provided they don't attempt to enforce this on other people. Yeah, it has roots in sexism I'd say, however its a gray zone more than anything, yes I do believe intent has a lot to do with it. Suppose I also give people the benefit of the doubt that their true intentions aren't to knock their rocks off to a RP in great part of their partner's gender or, ya know try to engage in some unwanted real life relations, among other scummy reasoning.
Ultimately though I don't think its useless to talk about this, hell no. Its always good to discuss everything and anything, that to say nothing would be a disservice. I don't believe the intent has ever been to change minds either for you, I think
you've said this, but its sorta hard to find where. Anyway I seriously feel like I'm rambling now, and I honestly didn't add anything new I believe, however I just wanted to get in on the conversation.
(Also I apologize if I got anything wrong, or whatnot. Writing this late at night on a whim, and while tired makes me feel like I missed something. Maybe I shouldn't bother, but after I said its important to talk that would be a bit hypocritical.)