Earnest Evans

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Hey wait, isn't enhancing your soldiers with Phazon a really bad idea? Like, "every soldier we've even let SNIFF a sample of Phazon turned into a howling monster that killed anything it could find and proceeded to melt over the course of the next few hours" bad? Unless the Phazon was simultaneously invading the GalFed armada at the same time Arragoz and company were, I don't see how any soldiers could be "enhanced" by it.

Return to the Multiverse

Cuban Pete finished his minutes-long "scream" of abject hatred. Feeling rather drained but still laced with malice, Pete decided to take his sorrows out on the world. Seating himself at the pilot's controls, Pete took direct control of his pod. With but a push of a button, two man-sized laser blasts shot forth from the front of the cockpit. Wherever they struck, they left a large, smoking crater. Grinning evilly, Cuban Pete turned his sights to Castle Ganondorf. The place where he gained, then lost, his golden opportunity to kickstart his new career. The place where he had spent the last half hour for nothing. The place that apparently cost the lives of his latest friends. The place that he was going to burn down to the ground. Shots from Pete's pod slammed into the thick walls of the castle, blowing it apart wherever they landed. The castle's already-fast descent into ruin was vastly hastened by Pete's unrelenting assault as massive chunks of mortar and masonry flew far and wide. Pete set the lasers to auto-fire, and got up to get himself a drink. Something strong, he thought, I think I'll have a Gargle Blaster. All the while, the unending stream of concussive blasts from Pete's ship bored a hole through the middle of the castle, threatening to make it collapse in on itself.

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Shadow Eternity Commandos, Siberian Neo-Umbrella Facility "Aim for the big guys' mouths!" shouted Private Marko over the roar of battle. Though an Ogroman's normal defense of its weakpoint would be to simply close its mouth, concentrated fire on it had graphically reduced its jaw to pulverized gristle. Thanking his lucky stars for the brass's decision to include an explosive measure for larger targets, Marko fired off five more rounds into the Ogroman's raw fleshy orifice. With an unpleasant noise sounding rather like a man trying to scream through a mouthful of milk and ground beef, the Ogroman was felled a mere two yards from Marko's feet. As the beast's corpse vaporized itself, Marko found himself glad that his standard-issue gas mask's air filters still worked. Judging by the way they looked, Marko guessed they didn't smell too good when they popped like that. The other two members of his squad, Privates Bubonicus and Horak, didn't look nearly as bothered by the Ogroman's dissolving; in fact, Horak appeared to be licking his... whatever the hell you call a hunk of wood's lips! "Would ya quit transmitting that slurping thing you keep doing, Knothole?" Marko complained, holding down a mouthful of bile. "Nnnot my fffault... too mmmuch mmmmmeat!" Horak replied, with an air of indignation previously thought impossible for something with so little taste. Elsewhere, around the west side of the facility, Squad Eta was caught up in a fierce battle between a large pack of ten Lickers. Since Private Neger had been downed, the squad was down to two members: Privates Escherichia-Coli #644 and Appule Manbaran. The two aliens were forced to fight back to back, as the Lickers circled them, waiting for an opening. "Hey, Doc," Escherichia whispered into his comms, "wanna see a trick I learned back with the Furon Navy?" His engorged temples pulsing with a foggy light, Escherichia telekinetically lifted the largest of the Licker pack and swept it through the rest of its cohorts. Growling and scratching, what Lickers that weren't knocked over instinctually retaliated against the large one's "attack", reducing it to ribbons by the time it knocked into the last Licker. Appule Manbaran, seeing a golden opportunity, opened fire on the stunned Lickers. Withering under a barrage of explosive shots, seven of the beasts were destroyed. The last two Lickers, gone berserk from the loss of its pack, pounced on Escherichia and knocked him over. Their horrid teeth scratched and rended Escherichia's armor and carved a deep gash down his massive cranium, as their hefty bulk knocked the wind out of him. Thinking quickly, Appule managed to level two shots right in the Lickers' exposed brains, ending them before they could end Escherichia. "We need a medic!" shouted Appule, reloading his Lawbreaker and sweeping the area. There didn't seem to be any hostiles directly targeting them, but in this chaotic battlefield, nothing was sure.

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Hampus the Red, Neo-Umbrella's Siberian Facility's Roof's Exit's Doorway's First Step Downstairs Everything had happened so fast. Some garishly-dressed poofter sprinted out from behind them, shoved both of them aside, and expertly disabled the guard that he must have known was there. Determined to not seem like any more of a fool, Hampus applauded Clifford's valiant rescue. "Well done, uh... you! You have clearly shown your excellent judgement and skill today, and as such we will give you the privilege of going first! Us weaklings will hang back and cover your flanks." Hampus rather suddenly realized something when Our Hero listed out their objectives: he didn't know what a "Red Queen" or who "Derek Simmons" is, or where in this facility he could find them. "Hm, I'm afraid I do not know the location of any of these. Rest assured, we will surely be able to find someone who does in this facility. All it would take to learn it is a little... persuasion." Hampus, of course, had no intention of actually interrogating anyone, as he had a tendency to start crying when he yelled and suffered from severe stomach cramps whenever he felt like he had the upper hand in a situation.

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Also, I'm looking for suggestions for side-factions. Hopefully this won't make things too complex.

@VitaVitaAR

The Foundation for the Utilization of Extrauniversal Resources (FUER) stands with anyone who believes that any important resources and technologies that can be found in a universe should be used to the fullest extent, at the expense of the native universe's livelihood. The FUER is spread throughout the multiverse, stealthily subjugating any useful planets and working mainly through cloak-and-dagger tactics. That corrupt CEO might be FUER, or he might be being manipulated by a FUER operative further down the totem pole.

Massive Multiversal Crossover

@Prostagma, @Scarifar, you're absolutely welcome to take control of the guys in the platoon attacking Neo-Umbrella. Since they're all expendable, think of them like timeshare characters. I'm interested in seeing how this pans out.

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Hampus the Red, Neo-Umbrella's Siberian Facility's Roof's Rooftop Entrance's Doorway Hampus scoffed wizardly when he saw Our Hero fiddling with the keypad. "I didn't ask for you to shake the handle, normie. Let me--" Hampus' smug order was abruptly interrupted as Our Hero successfully hacked the keypad and opened the door. With his pathetic levels of self-esteem rapidly draining, Hampus dejectedly shuffled through the door. "You're p-pretty good, normie. J-just follow me, and I'll lead the way. O-okay?" As the battle raged outside, Hampus and Our Hero managed to successfully infiltrate the facility. All they'd have to do now is, y'know, not get shot by the guards posted inside. Somehow, Hampus thought, that seemed to be the easier part. Fortunately, the facility's guards seemed to be preoccupied with the Shadow Eternity goons rampaging outside.

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Hampus the Red, Neo-Umbrella's Siberian Facility's Rooftop's Helipad Carnage was all that Hampus could think of. Loud noises, roaring monsters, blood splattering everywhere, it was as if someone had packed a slaughterhouse full of fireworks and blew it up. Fortunately, since Hampus and Our Hero were on the roof, they were largely ignored by all parties involved. Sweating profusely, Hampus scurried away from the roof's edge and leaned heavily on Pod 3. Stress clouding his senses, Hampus turned his thoughts inwards. Holy hell, I was almost in that. Me! If I get caught by any of those guys down there, I'm dead! There's got to be a better way down than over the roof... Hampus looked around frantically for a door or a ladder or something. A rather inconspicuous metal door protected by little more than a keypad attached to its handle was the only thing on the roof besides the helipad and the searchlights. Hampus tried the door, but found it locked. Fear giving way to self-ignoring anger, Hampus beat at the door and completely failed to have any noticeable effect on it. Now exhausted by a few seconds of "tremendous" exercise, Hampus turned away from the door and shouted to Our Hero. "Hey, you! Get this door open!"

Massive Multiversal Crossover

Also, I'd be up for co-GMs, but I've got another idea. How about... a voting system for allowing new characters? When someone posts a character sheet, we all voice our opinions on it and if it should be allowed. If a majority of us think it should be allowed, they're in! If not, they'll have to either revise it or scrap it entirely. Sounds good?

Massive Multiversal Crossover

I had a lot of free time on my hands, so I fleshed out the platoon of expendable Shadow Eternity mooks attacking the Neo-Umbrella site. Don't know why I did it, it was just on a whim.