Avatar of El Taco Taco
  • Last Seen: 26 days ago
  • Old Guild Username: El Taco Taco
  • Joined: 12 yrs ago
  • Posts: 1221 (0.27 / day)
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  • Username history
    1. El Taco Taco 12 yrs ago
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Status

Recent Statuses

8 yrs ago
Current 'I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet.'
7 likes
8 yrs ago
'There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?'
2 likes
8 yrs ago
'If Zoey Ashe had known she was being stalked by a man who intended to kill her and then slowly eat her bones, she would've worried more about that and less about getting her cat off the roof.'
1 like
9 yrs ago
"And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that."
7 likes
9 yrs ago
"We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?"
2 likes

Bio


"OK, I've just about had my FILL of riddle-asking, quest-assigning, insult-throwing, pun-hurling, hostage-taking, iron-mongering, smart-arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!" - CHARNAME, Baldur's Gate


Most Recent Posts

In Please Stay 11 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
Ten months—Kearney Stevens had been locked up for ten months and it had taken less than an hour to clear his name. Oliver Wood could not remember having ever been this angry before. Maybe when Fred had died—brave and good and too vibrant to be gone—or maybe when little Colin Creevey—too young to die, too valiant and kind—

Now that Oliver thought about it, he had been this angry for the past two years.

Lockwood’s testimony had been another misery to stoke the fire of his fury. She congratulated them, as if she hadn’t just spoken about the fate of her late husband to that hag Mirren. She was composed—too composed, with that edge that Oliver had seen in others. Percy looked like that sometimes, perfectly fine until they were six drinks in at the Hogs Head and his hands started to shake. Angelina as well; she never so much as blinked with grief, just worked her hands to the bone hunting down the Death Eaters on the run. She’d save the world and everyone in it before she so much as admitted to an ounce of pain.

Oliver hated that they lived in a world where tragic heroism and grit teeth had become the norm.

“Yoo’re th’ on ‘at got thes trial, Lockwood. We owe ye a debt ‘at cannae be repaid,” his voice was even, steady. It would do no one any good for him to lose him temper, to give the verbal lashing to the Wizengamot they so deserved. So many fat and vile blood maniacs among their numbers—ten men and women who thought that Kearney ought to rot in Azkaban. It was reprehensible. He offered a parting nod as Lockwood left them in the rapidly emptying courtroom.

“Thank you,” breathed Manpreet, her voice less solid, her hands trembling at the edges. Oliver laid a heavy hand on her shoulder. “If you’ll excuse me, I—“

“Go oan, Manpreet. Pass oan th’ team’s hellos tae Gaelle. We’ll tak’ cair ay Kearney until ye gie back.”

“I—okay. Make sure he gets his—“

“His gauld an’ his hoosin’ sarted. I willnae lit heem starve oan th’ streets. Go.”

“Thank you,” Manpreet took a shuddering breath, squeezing his hand tight. Oliver joined her, holding the door before she scurried off to the lift, shooting the courtroom a withering look.

Lockwood wasn’t far—Oliver was surprised to see her lingering, leaning against the wall as if she might not stand without it. He tilted his head, approaching cautiously, hands finding a home in his pockets.

“Ye alrecht thair, Lockwood?”
Name: Kalana yr Kaziza al Dumein yi Memnon
Age: Twenty Seven
Class: Mage
Gender: Female
Length: 1.75 meters / 5’9”
Race: Tiefling
Racial benefits: +1 Int, -1 Wis, Darkvision 60 feet, Minor resistance (5%) to cold, electrical and fire damage.
Appearance:


Most people smell Kalana first. The heavy sweetness of ash and scorched wood and bitter dust clings to her no matter the circumstance. It makes an impression—often a poor one—and this rarely improves upon seeing her.

Firstly, there are the horns; massive, black and red, and twisting into a ram’s hook, they are the most obvious mark of her abyssal ancestry. If that weren’t bad enough, her blackened sclera and orange irises tend to unsettle most who make eye contact. Faint mottled markings are scattered across her bronzed face and neck, meeting nails that nearly qualify as claws. An angry scar runs through her lip, one among many across her form.

Kalana wears her black hair pulled back with a small golden headdress suspended from her horns and draped to her forehead. Her robes are finely made, bearing the sigil of Memnon. Covered in gold and red brocade, they are nonetheless functional, constructed for the range of motion demanded of casting.


Stats
STR: 12
DEX: 15
CON: 13
INT: 19
WIS: 9
CHR: 10


Spells:

Point Total: 35
1st, costs 1:

Grease: Close range (40 feet, covers a 102 foot area). 6 round duration, covers the ground in slippery grease. All creatures in target area must make a reflex save per round or fall. Walking through grease reduces speed by half and requires superb balance. This spell can also target items—for example enemy weapons can be targeted. An ally’s armor may be targeted to provide a bonus to escape artist checks and grappling.

Magic Missile: Medium Range, 160 feet. Up to five creatures may be targeted. Three missiles (with up to two more by spending 1 additional point per missile) strike their target unerringly, each missile dealing 1d4+1 force damage.

Blindness: Medium Range, 160 feet. Targets one living creature. Permanent duration, although high fortitude negates the effect. Calling upon the powers of unlife, Kalana can render a subject blinded.

Burning Hands*: 15 foot area, cone shaped burst. Any creature or flammable material in the area of effect takes 5d4 damage.


2nd, costs 3:

Melf’s Acid Arrow: Long range, 460 feet. One arrow of acid speeds to its target and strikes on a successful ranged touch attack. 2d4 damage on striking and persists for an additional 2 rounds of 2d4 damage unless neutralized.

Aganazzar’s Scorcher*†: 20 meter range. Kalana creates a line of fire that starts on her and ends at her target. Target and anyone caught within half a meter of the line receive 3d6 points of damage. Fire resistance can reduce or negate damage. No saving throw.

Mirror Image: Personal, lasts for 6 minutes. 1d4+2 duplicates of Kalana pop into being, lingering near her. These figments remain within 5 feet of each other and are purely illusionary, but imperceptible visually or by hearing. The figments mimic her actions. Enemies must attempt to select Kalana from the figments. While moving, Kalana can merge with and split off from figments to confound enemies. This spell has no effect on blinded creatures.
Horror†: 25 meter range. All hostile creatures within a target 10 meter cube area must save vs. death or flee in terror. Undead are unaffected by this spell.


3rd, costs 5:

Remove Magic†: 10 meter cube AOE, works only on enemies. Removes magical effects from spells, potions, wands from every enemy in its area. It doesn’t affect protections from magical items or spell protection, 65% chance of success.

Melf’s Minute Meteors†: 70 meter range, one target per meteor. 1d4+3 and +3 fire damage per meteor. Six meteors, each treated as a missile with +5 bonus to attack rolls. Up to 5 meteors cast per round.

Hold Person: Medium range (160 feet), targets one humanoid creature and lasts for 6 rounds. The target becomes paralyzed and freezes in place. The target breathes and is aware and may attempt a saving throw per round.

Fireball*: Long range, 640 feet with a 20 foot radius spread. Deals 6d6 damage to every creature within the area. The explosion creates no pressure. Ignites combustibles in range and damages objects in the area. It can melt metals with a low melting point.

Skills:
Knowledge (Arcana) - 60
Knowledge (Planes) - 50
Language (Abyssal) – 100, racial trait.
Language (Primordial) – 15, a rough understanding, speech is clumsy.
Concentration- 50
Use Magic Device- 50
Spellcraft - 75


Abilities:
Empower Spell – Doubles spell cost, increases damage by ½.
Spell Mastery - Due to her specialised training, Kalana can cast fire based magic (marked by *) without referring to her spellbook.


Armor: Adventurers Robes (AC 10, +1 bonus against missile weapons)

Weapons: Quarterstaff, Sling, Bullets (40)

Gear: Backpack, bedroll, winter blanket, spell book, quill and ink, journal, spell component pouch, torch, flint and steel, waterskin, needle and thread, rations (3 days), 2 scrolls of Identify, Ornamental Jambiya.

Gold: 96 GP

Biography:

Life isn’t often easy for tieflings in Faerun—unless you can be useful to the genasi of Calimshan. Born to a human slave of House Dumein, Kalana was lucky enough to have her abyssal heritage and quick mind considered useful by its matriarch, Kaziza. Elevated out of slavery into citizenship, Kalana was provided an extensive magical education for the mere cost of her fealty.

In a city ruled by firesoul genasi, Kalana’s training focused, naturally, on fire based magic. It was, fortuitously, a good fit for her short temper and wild nature. Although never the social equal of the ruling genasi, Kalana’s obsessive drive for arcane excellence earned her both respect and opportunity. Belonging to the house of one of Memnon’s most affluent Sultans helped in no small measure.

It was inevitable that Kalana would go to war. Trained in the Art and thirsting to prove herself, she joined the bloody fighting across the Calim desert. The war was not so much a war as a protracted massacre of all participants. Kalana spent several years mired in slaughter, surviving by luck as much as skill. The thrill of combat could not sustain her forever—and after nearly seven years of war, Kalana grew weary. She awaited her opportunity to leave Calimshan and indulge her wanderlust.

That opportunity came at great cost; her company was mutually obliterated by a contingent of djinn from Calim. Kalana managed to kill her competing survivors and claim their supplies and wealth for herself. Seizing her chance, she headed north. Six near death experiences and the worst month of her life later, she stumbled into Tethyr.

Kalana learned quickly that the rest of Faerun was not Calimshan. She had expected to find a prestigious position as an arcane advisor or tutor to nobility; a job befitting her station. The world she found was horrifyingly backwards. Humans were no longer slaves and instead ruled most lands they touched. Her fiery nature was no longer a mark of her personal greatness. Feared and despised, Kalana was forced into a life of adventuring and mercenary work in order to survive. The wizard’s offer of employment is simply the last in a long line of jobs, ranging from utterly tedious to nearly lethal.
I'll get that popped over with fixes by the end of the day. :3
Bwhehehe. Should be funsies. >:D

Also, no worries! Take whatever time you need. <3 <3
Here's my hella rough bio. I'm happy to change anything to bring it within game standards.

I've got a grumpy tiefling mage in the works, if that works for you @vietmyke.

And a question, which would be relevant for my character's background-- what year is it?
<Snipped quote by El Taco Taco>
Do you have the time for this? I can deal with high turnover, but are you ready to dedicate a few hours a week for a few months to this?


I'll be a bit busy during finals week, but I've had several games die and I've got loads of free time. I'll be around.
You've pretty much won my undying love and loyalty already. Forgotten Realms is the light of my life and skjkjakljs 2nd edition and Baldur's Gate and jdsljdklsd. Yes. Okay. I'm ten million percent on board with this.
I'm definitely interested.
Bwehehehehe, >:D I likes. Aight, workin on my post. Wooosh.
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