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"I know it is not going to be easy, and I understand that it might feel impossible, but you do have the strength to overcome this. And you do not have to do it alone." Meesei responded. She could not truly understand how Sabine was feeling, unfortunately, as she had never experienced anything quite so terrifying. Meesei had been on the edge of death on several occasions, but she had never been the victim of such relentless cruelty. Still, it was also true that Meesei was no stranger to long-lasting pain, even if it was of a more physical nature. "I remember after the battle in Elsweyr, the effects my wounds had on me. The silver shards embedded in my flesh took years to remove; I relied upon your potions just to stay alive. You were there to support me through it all, just as I am going to be here for you. My injuries were physical, easy to see, but that does not mean the scars in your mind are not just as real."

Meesei managed to smile, though it still showed the pain she felt on Sabine's behalf. "The only difference is that you are strong enough to recover much more quickly. I am sure of it. I will help you in any way I can." As Meesei finished speaking, she placed both of her hands firmly onto the Staff of Magnus. She pulled on it, not hard enough to make it feel like she was trying to yank it from Sabine's grasp, but just hard enough to suggest that she wanted Sabine to release it to her.
"That was not your fault." Meesei replied firmly. "He had the proof of what he said, but I was too impatient, too angry to let him show me."

Meesei attempted to calm herself at least enough to allow herself to speak clearly, rather than being strained through her own sobbing. "Their alpha is okay. You do not need to worry about him; it was my mistake, and I can be the one to deal with it. I just want to know that you are going to be okay, Sabine. I know you are strong enough to overcome all of those terrible things that happened to you. You do not need the Hist or any sort of divine intervention, to deal with the pain. Perhaps as a child you did, but they did not do anything for you that you were not already capable of doing for yourself. If anything, they just helped you use the strength of your own spirit."
I don't actually know the answer, unfortunately.
Once again, Meesei shook her head. "No. Perhaps I could still best you in a magic duel, or some other trivial contest. Perhaps there was a time where it would have been appropriate for you to look up to me, but you have grown beyond me in every way that matters, Sabine. Your resolve and dedication to your beliefs are greater than my own. You are capable, patient, wise woman, and everything that I wanted you to become."

There was some hesitation from Meesei, and a look of shame obvious within her expression. "You have accomplished much more good these past few days than I have. After you were taken, I panicked. I wanted to find you quickly, no matter the cost. I went to the High Rock clans and demanded all of their resources to assist with the search. They protested, argued against me weakening their clans' defenses unnecessarily. They were willing to help, and volunteered some of their resources, but...I wanted it all. They argued it would be dangerous to them, but I did not care. I just wanted you. When the Daggerfall clan's Alpha said you arrived for a time, then left without a word of your destination, I did not believe him. I thought he was trying to trick me into changing my orders. I did not even allow him the chance to prove his word before I broke a chair over his head in anger. Then he showed us the prisoners."

Meesei looked away, letting out a long breath. "You would have handled it all much better."
Paradise


Delni prevented herself from laughing, considering that the subject did sound a bit serious. "Taking on the whole Empire? That might be a bit beyond what you can do by yourself, even for a well-made droid. Although, honestly, you might not have to wait too long for them to die on their own." She replied.

Delni took a moment to sit herself down on the bar stool next to her. She still found it strange how she kept ending up talking to "independent droids" so much recently, but she supposed it was not the strangest thing to happen to her. If nothing else, they could make for unique conversation partners. "I can't say that me or my sister are big fans of the Empire ourselves, but there's just some things you can't do anything about. Just got to...do what you can and accept what you can't. I just take solace in the fact that the Empire is quickly becoming a broken shell of what it used to be. And it seems like it's tearing itself apart just as much as the New Republic is. Did you hear what happened a while back? Pretty sure the news coming through the holonet is reliable enough. Only a few weeks after they lost their Emperor, and the Empire razed their own planet to the ground. Vardos, one of their big loyalist worlds? They wrecked it. The propaganda says it's supposed to send a 'message', but the only message I'm getting is that they're idiots."
"No." Meesei replied, her voice soft, but firm. "You could not be worse than them. You could never be worse than them, Sabine. Those people were monsters at the heart of their being. You were defenseless; you were at their mercy, but they took that chance to do such...terrible things to you. Then you had the power, then they were at your mercy, and even though you had every right to kill them, and they all certainly deserved death, you did not. You gave them mercy they did not deserve because..."

Meesei swallowed after becoming choked up briefly, through tears that were now running down the side of her snout. "...because you are better than me. You are better than...anyone. Anyone I have ever met. Because I would have killed them. Without any, any hesitation, I would have killed them. If I had that staff like you did, in that moment, after all you had suffered through, I would have torn them all to pieces and made them suffer through all of it. And I would have smiled about it. Because I am not as good as you. Do you understand, Sabine? You are a treasure to this world, more than this world even deserves. You have a sense of 'rightness', a strength of character and willpower greater than anyone I have met. After all you suffered through, I have no doubt that your conviction to who you are will not be shaken by anything that Mundus or Oblivion could throw at you. You are the person I wish I could be."

Pausing for just a moment, Meesei looked down and took one of Sabine's hands in both of hers. "You are better than me, stronger than me, and I know you will be able to get through this better than I ever could. The pain will not haunt you forever, because it is not stronger than your mind."
Through every word of Sabine's explanation, Meesei began to tremble almost as much as Sabine was. It was even worse than she had feared, and she could hardly bear to even think about what Sabine was describing. To imagine Sabine, her Sabine, enduring such suffering was outright sickening. Meesei collapsed onto Sabine's shoulder, sobbing without a hint of restraint.

"They did...no, no, please...no. By the Void, you did not deserve anything like that. I would...I would have taken your place in a second. If I could turn back time, I...I would endure anything to stop it. So it was all of them except those two...they were the ones who...did it." Meesei lifted up her head from Sabine's shoulder and froze as she stared out into the darkened horizon. Her face was devoid of any emotion, but her eyes turned almost sinister. "Thank you for telling me, Sabine."

Meesei finally pulled back from Sabine so that she could look her in the eyes, even if she could hardly see through the tears in her eyes. Meesei held her hands on Sabine's shoulders, swallowing before she could speak. "Sabine do not...you do not need to feel guilty. Not for that, not for what happened. You had every right to kill them; anything you could have done, they would have deserved far worse. You did not kill them, you did not have to, but it would not have been wrong to. There is nothing wrong with you for wanting to."
It took only a few words for the fears Meesei had experienced over the past few days to be resurrected. Her worries over what Sabine might be forced to endure had motivated her to find Sabine as quickly as possible, but ultimately, Meesei did not find Sabine, and had failed to stop her fears from transpiring.

Sitting in front of Sabine, Meesei leaned in and hugged her, holding her close and tight. "Sabine, I...I am sorry. I could not stop it. I tried, but I could not find you fast enough. Those monsters...inhuman monsters..." Meesei's face was out of sight of Sabine as she hugged her, but it was overtaken by the purest of rage. Meesei bared her teeth and could only barely managed to speak without giving away the anger seething within her.

"Who did it to you, Sabine? Which one of them hurt you? Did Do'rhajul hurt you? Or that Nord?" Meesei questioned.
"Our enemies do not always give us the choices we would like, unfortunately." Meesei replied. Upon hearing Sabine mention the dragon's "treasures", she shined her light around the area to see everything that was collected near the watchtower. Although she did not say anything aloud about it, Meesei was certainly caught off-guard by all of the wealth collected together in one place, since Sabine had not mentioned anything about it back in Blackreach.

Meesei finished walking around the dragon and stopped beside Sabine, placing her hand gently upon her back. "It intended to lure the Dragonborn himself here, you said? The Dragonborn is a warrior of legend, and the slayer of Alduin the World-Eater, who was himself a godlike being. If this dragon was going to lure him here, then perhaps it never intended to survive from the start."

Meesei put her arm more tightly around Sabine and pulled her closer. "But I am more concerned about you than the dragon, Sabine. I want to know that you are okay. We are alone here, and you can take as much time as you need. If there is anything you want to talk about, then I am here to listen, for as long as you need me."
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